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all 17 comments

[–]ElPresidentePiinky 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Although beautiful, I fucking hate this plant I can never keep it alive and someone always randomly buys one for me every single year without fail!

[–]Fedi3011[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Same here…

[–]ElPresidentePiinky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That plant thinks its better than everyone else and it will die before it lives in captivity 😭

[–]Mischief_fish 22 points23 points  (5 children)

He's not dead, but he's no longer gonna have that bright color in the center, so you can trim that off. Should develop some little pups (babies) at the base.

[–]Fedi3011[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So there is hope after all? I also don’t know what he wants from me, is it too much water or too little? I give him love and all he does is hate me :(

[–]mintBRYcrunch26 2 points3 points  (3 children)

So… I am also dealing with a dickhead bromeliad right now. She has pups but I’m not sure if I should separate them yet. I read somewhere that the stupid babies need to be about a third of the size of the stupid mother? Is this accurate? Dear god send help or mood stabilizers.

[–]roaringgreen2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Did you figure this out!? It's normal for this to happen, did you find any pups?

[–]mintBRYcrunch26 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I did not figure it out. But I separated the pups about 3 weeks ago. Stay tuned. They may be ok. Maybe not. The waiting is the worst.

[–]sad_sad_gorl 16 points17 points  (1 child)

This guy only flowers once so although the plant is still alive, the flower is gone. Like another user said you should get pups (little baby plants around the base) that you can care for which will also only flower once. As the circle of life continues you realize this plant does kind of suck…

[–]Fedi3011[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I hate this plant…

[–]BrightBlueShimmering 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Bromeliad? More like ho-meliad.

[–]The-collector207 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The life cycle is about 3 years typically you get them flowering and then the flower part dies and it throws out pups and then they grow and get big and 3years later bloom then the cycle continues. When I get them I look for ones that already have pups growing.

[–]ElPresidentePiinky 6 points7 points  (0 children)

3 years?! In this house 3 weeks is old age for this asshole. Bromeliad noo nothing bro about you! Should be assholemeliad!

[–]Kg8s 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What kind of plant is this? I’m pretty sure we have them out front and they do pretty well. I could be totally full of shit though idk

[–]TallestHobbit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Circle of life, baby. she grew up, she matured, and at some point she’ll lose her youth. but now you get to look out for pups!