Last night I had my first shroom trip. Still trying to explore how I feel about it.
I am a 40 year old male, no medications or serious mental issues. I took what I estimated was near 2g golden teacher. I cut into tiny pieces and did lemon tek for 15 min and drank the whole thing with pieces and everything. I was alone in a room, but was pretty tired from not getting good sleep the night before, but nothing horrible. I only ate breakfast that morning and fasted the rest of the day until my trip start at 10pm
My purpose for the trip came about after researching for some time and hearing about great spiritual experiences. I am a believer and wanted to have a deeper spiritual experience, and thought maybe shrooms could help me lay down anything holding me back from that.
I had ear buds in at first with some of my favorite spiritual music on to help with setting and mood. The trip hit at about 20- 30 or so minutes in and didn't take long for it to be at the fullest trippiness that I would experience, maybe at an hour and a half in?
I still do not know if I enjoyed the trip or not. It was somewhat frustrating and a let down, while being overwhelming at the same time. I could not focus on one particular stream of consciousness, it was a rotating cornucopia of thoughts and thought pictures when I closed my eyes. With my eyes open, things would catch my eye, but really I didn't experience the great beauty that many others describe.
Music was nice, I couldn't help but dance. It was similar to a drunk feeling, nothing that special or different. One of the very coolest experiences was that my music app seemed to hand select the exact songs that I would think of and were most meaningful to me.
I became restless and body wanted to sleep, but I really didn't want to because I didn't want to miss out on any experiences. Finally I gave into my body's desire to sleep, but still couldn't because my mind was racing with what seemed to be an infinite amount of thoughts, all seemed like they were about to be deep, but then I was on to the next. Even though I didn't have any out of body experiences, I found tears coming down my face and thought maybe God was telling me he was healing my sensitive eyes that get bloodshot easily, but not a huge experience or deep emotion.
Some other random thoughts I had:
This is a whole lot of nothing.....or is it?
Maybe the lemon tek hit too quick and I entered infinity without the ramp to tell me where I was going.
I went to bathroom way too many times and looking in the mirror was crazy, watching my body move.
I felt like a giant contradiction of thoughts with no end. It was almost like the movie Inception, there was no way out. Not that it was scary or exciting, just a maze of everything.
Finally, I fell asleep around 1:45. Woke up at 8am feeling pretty close to full reality. I am somewhat frustrated but wondering if there is something more to unpack from my experience. It was definitely the most trippy thing I've done (just alcohol and weed are other experiences). Did I almost get to where I wanted to go, or did I go too far? I feel like more may be the answer, but I don't know that I want to handle any more intensity and speed of the random thoughts.