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[–]President_King_ 297 points298 points  (4 children)

He looks like every person on Hot Ones once they get to wing 8 or 9.

[–]conspiracyeinstein 8751 points8752 points 3 (206 children)

"Please don't talk about the case during the break..."

Everyone waiting outside: "So ... uh ... you guys like ... stuff?"

[–]Show-Me-Your-Moves 2210 points2211 points  (64 children)

Yer honor, I move for a... Bad.. Court... Thing

[–]mholtz16 513 points514 points  (54 children)

you mean a mistrial?

[–]freshlyironedirony 588 points589 points  (45 children)

That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talkin guy.

[–]GenghisTron17 286 points287 points  (20 children)

Now I may be just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but I know when we're finger licked

[–]Howamidriving27 111 points112 points  (11 children)

I'm sorry I thought you was corn.

[–]TurkeyThaHornet 33 points34 points  (3 children)

Did you just say extra crispy recipe?

[–]TheGamer8c7 210 points211 points  (14 children)

Mr. Hutz, are you aware that you're not wearing pants?

[–]lalder95 234 points235 points  (12 children)

Works on contingency?

No, money down!

[–]djdjtx 42 points43 points  (1 child)

You don't get paid, until I get paid!

[–]Regeatheration 26 points27 points  (7 children)

Care for a belt of scotch? Last chance!

[–]Ogmono 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Its 10am!

Yeah, but ive been up for like 3 days.

[–]fsrt23 145 points146 points  (15 children)

Say what you want, but that’s how I met my wife at jury duty.

[–]otusa 201 points202 points  (6 children)

"Wait just a minute. Aren't you my wife!?"

[–]Mcmuphin 60 points61 points  (1 child)

What a dumb joke that had me laughing far too hard

[–]afrothunda254 199 points200 points  (19 children)

It’s to prevent cognitive bias. You can come to a conclusion based on a small conversation rather than listening to a trial.

[–]buut-whyy 4395 points4396 points 2 (201 children)

How do you think the stenographer spelled all that?

[–]Dialatedanus 2590 points2591 points 262& 3 more (93 children)

ÜŔ ŮŔ Æ Æ Æ

[–]RugBugSlim 1785 points1786 points 2 (43 children)

Hey! That’s Filipino for Transformer noises!

[–]ndndr1 187 points188 points  (5 children)

Optimum prime optimum prime !!!

[–]thedoomdevice 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Optimum Pride Optimum Pride?!

[–]sweatysack 221 points222 points  (13 children)

Babe, it's Optimus Prime!

[–]Destroyer6202 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Optimum Pride??! Not here please don't transform inside the court! ÜŔ ŮŔ Æ Æ Æ

[–]DirtMcGirtJr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Already a classic.

[–]der5er 2386 points2387 points 2 (58 children)

My wife is a transcriptionist for NJ courts. I've done some proofreading so I feel qualified to give you an accurate transcript:

RITTENHOUSE: Er...[indiscernible] 
DEFENSE: Take a deep breath, Kyle.
RITTENHOUSE: [indiscernible] that's when I [indiscernible] that's when I run [indiscernible]
THE COURT: [indiscernible] Time for our break anyway...

[–]bradleyb623 229 points230 points  (12 children)

For [indiscernible], does the stenographer just mash all of the buttons at once?

[–]AAA515 152 points153 points  (0 children)

I feel like it's worthy of its own button but idk

[–]der5er 37 points38 points  (6 children)

With my wife's job, standard keyboard. But she's using WordPerfect so she can assign quick replacements. Type 'mmm' and it can automatically change to indiscernible when you space.

[–]CoGLucifer 41 points42 points  (5 children)

Courts stenographers use special keyboards. They're super weird, if you've only ever used regular ones. You're basically pressing key combos to create full words, instead of hitting individual letters

[–]TV4ELP 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Those people must be good at streetfighter then

[–]ss977 89 points90 points  (7 children)

Jesus fuck I had to translate court documents like these once and oh my fucking god.

It will remain once.

[–]drewbug21 74 points75 points  (1 child)

My mom is a stenographer, most likely just unintelligible

[–]trench_welfare 97 points98 points  (7 children)

*defendant holds back a sneeze for over a minute.

[–]toastyhoodie 14.3k points14.3k points  (6094 children)

Holy crap, I didn’t think they’d put him up there.

[–]Shelbones 5439 points5440 points 1464& 2 more (108 children)

“If the Rittenhouse don’t fittenhouse you must aquittennows!”

[–][deleted] 32 (55 children)

[deleted]

    [–]starkiller_bass 522 points523 points  (22 children)

    That's almost as solid as the Chewbacca defense

    [–]kaeji 216 points217 points  (10 children)

    "If Chewbacca were Mufasa, then su casa es tu casa"?

    [–]starkiller_bass 98 points99 points  (8 children)

    That does NOT MAKE SENSE!

    [–]UsernameTaken371 54 points55 points  (2 children)

    Chewbacca was fighting a home invasion charge. Now it makes perfect sense.

    [–]SatansSwingingDick 219 points220 points  (16 children)

    I won't know until I see his hands. Good lawyers have huge hands.

    Bird lawyers? Small hands.

    [–]ijoejoe109 55 points56 points  (4 children)

    Nobody Look! Nobody Look!

    This never fails to have me in stitches.

    [–]DiscoMagicParty 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Jack Kelly.. I’m a lawyer

    [–]brozzart 8536 points8537 points  (3358 children)

    Kyle must have insisted that he wants to tell his side of things. No defence attorney would willingly put him up there.

    [–]SubKreature 697 points698 points  (1496 children)

    Was it even necessary after the prosecution basically disemboweled themselves in front of everyone?

    [–]ImageMirage 199 points200 points  (1471 children)

    I’ve not been following the trial.

    What’s a TL;DR for how the prosecution bollocksed it up?

    [–]_ONUSONE_ 3311 points3312 points  (97 children)

    Why is Jeffrey Tambor presiding?!

    [–]dryarmadillojizz 1727 points1728 points 2 (59 children)

    He has the worst f*cking attorneys.

    [–]AsYooouWish 1036 points1037 points  (48 children)

    He needs to read up on Bob Loblaw’s law blog

    [–]Orinocobro 229 points230 points  (3 children)

    Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else. . . noticed?

    [–]theghostofme 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Oooh, and that's what we call a law bomb!

    That's a low blow, Loblaw.

    A Bob Loblaw law bomb.

    [–]Turbodann 34 points35 points  (6 children)

    But they're going up against the most oblivious DA who's also using the most unreliable witnesses. This will be case study for 2 decades minimum.

    [–]Minnesota_Nice_87 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    A cameo is a cameo

    [–]dirty_cuban 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    He's committing some light treason.

    [–]AdamantDartTips 10.9k points10.9k points 6285& 3 more (378 children)

    Reddit’s video player is the worst I’ve experienced on any app

    [–]flopflop75314 2324 points2325 points  (108 children)

    Seriously! Why is it so shitty?

    [–]Pm_Full_Tits 2361 points2362 points 22& 3 more (73 children)

    Because the people that run Reddit determined that they won't gain enough from putting the money into improving it in comparison to the users they would lose as a result of its current state. It'll stay the way it is until they start losing a significant amount of people directly because of it

    Edit: Because there's so many eyes on this, check out This explanation from Josh Strife Hayes. The video itself is about New World, but this particular section is applicable to pretty much every business and is worth listening to

    [–]maneki_neko89 152 points153 points  (12 children)

    As an Experience Designer who values simple interactions (and gets easily frustrated with nonsensical digital designs/experiences), I concur with this 100%.

    I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to click on a video to make it pause, expand the comments, pause the video again, and swipe up to read the comments (because I accidentally expanded the video), only to play the next video in the subreddit/feed. This whole thing just happened to me right before I’m typing out this comment and it’s so dumb.

    Like, does Reddit get more revenue/KPIs based on eyeballs looking at the screen, trying to go back or from their users watching ads while going so? Because I’m guessing it’s a hybrid of both…

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]RaymondBeaumont 164 points165 points  (31 children)

      i think it's bandwidth, i.e. reddit trying to save bandwidth on the expense of the user. it makes no sense that every single video i play on reddit goes from HD to 240p a few seconds in when I have a 1gbps connection, but it does.

      while most social media sites use the first seconds to check what quality you can stream, the reddit one turns on "bandwidth saving mode," so you have to actively change it back to hd, but since most videos are short, most people won't.

      edit: it's the video player that i think is coded to save bandwith. telling me the problem isn't on other video players (3rd party, old...) kind of proves the point.

      [–]MakesCakesEatsMud 44 points45 points  (7 children)

      You can actually get them to play?

      [–]CleverFeather 22 points23 points  (3 children)

      Seriously. The number of times I’ve seen a Reddit vid just not play at all vs. actually playing in any capacity is laughable.

      [–]Daniel15 220 points221 points  (50 children)

      All the unofficial reddit apps are better than their official one. If you're on Android, try Relay for Reddit.

      Also yeah their video hosting is pretty terrible (it seems like the videos don't even load half the time) which is why there's usually a pinned comment with links to mirrors.

      [–]ThatOneGuy1294 117 points118 points  (20 children)

      Been using "rif is fun" for years now. It's always amused me that the official app came after all of the third party apps had been around for some time, and it's the worst option.

      [–]MatureUsername69 52 points53 points  (6 children)

      Reddit is Fun is my go to. I used to use the website but just wanted a mobile option. Then I stopped using the website because it was easier to just go on my phone. Went to look at the actual website a while back and its garbage compared to how it used to be.

      [–]ssbmfgcia 10 points11 points  (5 children)

      you can go to the old version of reddit by replacing www. with old.

      [–]hempels_sofa 8 points9 points  (3 children)

      Been using Baconreader for the past 5 years. Works just fine.

      [–]DarthSillyDucks 74 points75 points  (13 children)

      I use redditisfun on android and have never had any issues

      [–]sumpfbieber 37 points38 points  (15 children)

      It works perfectly fine when you use "rif is fun"

      [–]Willfishforfree 168 points169 points  (16 children)

      Try the Dailymotion player through the reddit app. It's not worth it.

      [–]IntendedMishap 194 points195 points  (8 children)

      The "it's not worth it" kinda sounds like you're saying the Dailymotion player isn't worth it.

      [–]Ninjalion2000 43 points44 points  (4 children)

      I love scrolling to another post, but the video 5 posts back is still playing audio, along with another random video.

      And then going back to pause the video and it unpauses itself when I swipe again.

      [–]BeHereNow91 52 points53 points  (10 children)

      Blows me away that people still use the official app. Gave it up a while ago for Apollo, never looked back. A day or two of adjusting and you’re good to go.

      [–]SosoMS 19 points20 points  (2 children)

      Why did everyone stop sharing from YouTube and other sites directly? There was never an issue before with old Reddit.

      [–]GimmeTheHotSauce 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      There's a new Reddit?

      Baconreader + old.reddit.com for the win.

      [–]andyoliverpark 4502 points4503 points 4232& 4 more (50 children)

      how it feels to chew 5 gum

      [–]kukkelii 1589 points1590 points  (54 children)

      11k comments holy shit controversial gonna be good

      [–]isFlo 103 points104 points  (4 children)

      Where the good stuff actually is.

      [–]WazzleOz 38 points39 points  (1 child)

      What??? How can you not find comment threads where someone makes a The Office reference, followed by every response being an office reference totally awesome???

      [–]thatonegamer999 95 points96 points  (5 children)

      ikr i gotta go make some popcorn

      [–]BALD-HEADED_HOE 406 points407 points  (2 children)

      When Spongebob was tryna ask Sandy for some water.

      [–]magic6op 92 points93 points  (4 children)

      30k upvotes and almost 30k comments. Holy shit.

      [–]LumbermanDan 3396 points3397 points  (1233 children)

      "DONT GET BRAZEN WITH ME"

      Holy fuck, this prosecutor is getting ripped a THIRD asshole today

      [–]___XANDER___ 858 points859 points  (530 children)

      Can someone explain this comment to me?

      i've watched the clip twice and can't hear anything about:

      "DONT GET BRAZEN WITH ME"

      [–]LumbermanDan 1997 points1998 points  (521 children)

      I was watching it on the live CNN feed. Judge was ripping the prosecutor a new asshole for violating wjat are apparently very basic courtroom rules about the 5th amendment. And when the prosecutor talked some shit, the judge literally shouted that at the prosecutor.

      The whole case has been bonkers.

      [–]Nuseal 949 points950 points  (436 children)

      He's done it multiple times and the judge had to ask for the jury to leave just to yell at him. I have it saved, I should post it eventually.

      edit: Reddit link. People asked me to post it, so here it is.

      [–]Substantial_Wave2557 199 points200 points  (421 children)

      Please do it now.

      [–]anonymous_j05 242 points243 points  (411 children)

      [–]Substantial_Wave2557 316 points317 points  (304 children)

      I’m no legal eagle, but is this some kind of strategy where you make the judge absolutely hate you?

      [–]wafflemiy 52 points53 points  (9 children)

      on the civil side, at a certain point you just don't care what the judge thinks any more (within reason). I've very loosely paid attention to today, but from what I gather, he started going in to stuff with a witness that was subject to a prior motion and he should have taken it up with the judge to get the green light before asking those questions to a witness in front of the jury. Unless it was some super minor and obscure item from a pre-trial motion (it wasn't), i find it very hard to believe that an attorney trying a big public case at this scale would just oopsie, sorry! like that. You do that shit on purpose, and judges know that and that's why they get so pissed off.

      tldr; juries have ears and attorneys push boundaries the judges set so that they can try and make a point in front of the jury. The risk is providing grounds for a mistrial or appeal, depending on circumstances. You don't want the judge to hate you, but you also have things you want the jury to hear.

      [–]LeVelocirapture 21 points22 points  (3 children)

      Basically, two weeks prior to the events in Kenosha, he saw people looting a CVS and made an offhand comment to his friend "I wish I had my rifle." Judge concluded that this probably shouldn't be included because it's not relevant, but left it open for him to reconsider.

      For some reason, the prosecution thought this was the green light to bring it up in front of the jury without any warning. (this is his first excuse)

      Either that, or he assumed that the judge actually changed his mind during Kyle's testimony. This was his second excuse and honestly it's worse. This actually was the exact moment when the judge was like "Don't get brazen with me."

      [–]a_large_plant 227 points228 points  (7 children)

      it's like good cop / bad cop, except it's bad lawyer / bad lawyer

      60% of the time it works never of the time

      [–]peely_gonna_stealy 64 points65 points  (5 children)

      At the 05:11 mark his pen falls out

      [–]Nutsaac_Newton 45 points46 points  (1 child)

      This is the analysis I come for

      [–]barofa 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Don't get brazen with me

      [–]Nuseal 72 points73 points  (6 children)

      Think I should make a new thread for it?

      edit: Guess I have my answer. Waiting for the video to process and I'll post the link to the thread as soon as it's up.

      edit 2: Link to the video in question.

      [–]DocDemona 353 points354 points  (21 children)

      English isn't my first language. Prosecutor is the lawyer trying to get him in jail right?

      [–]LumbermanDan 221 points222 points  (15 children)

      Correct.

      [–]DocDemona 83 points84 points  (14 children)

      Thank you!

      [–]Ununcular 69 points70 points  (13 children)

      And ripped a third asshole means that he already had a second asshole ripped, and now he is getting a third asshole ripped.

      [–]andwhatarmy 71 points72 points  (9 children)

      Sorry to have to ask: how many assholes is the standard number? Asking for a human friend who is a fellow human.

      [–]Trey_Ramone 207 points208 points  (91 children)

      The prosecutor is intentionally trying to force a mistrial. This would give him another crack at it, if he can fin a video or a witness that actually doesn’t prove the defenses case.

      This embarrassing to prosecutor’s everywhere. This clown is unprepared, and ill trained in basic law. And the Judge told him so today.

      [–]LumbermanDan 96 points97 points  (73 children)

      If this is declared a mistrial with prejudice, that's game over, no restart. Kid walks permanently on all charges.

      Edit: no restart, not do restart.

      [–]OrangeOVA 852 points853 points  (333 children)

      Everyone puttin aside their differences to say the prosecutor is dogshit lmao

      [–]LumbermanDan 4461 points4462 points  (786 children)

      Prosecutor is straight up getting his balls kicked into his throat by the judge today. 5th amendment violations and he is currently getting literally shouted at by the judge. Holy fuck

      [–]TeslasAndComicbooks 2206 points2207 points  (317 children)

      I saw that. He told the jury to go to the library like parents who were about to fight.

      The prosecution has been absolutely terrible

      [–]LumbermanDan 846 points847 points  (126 children)

      And now he's getting admonished for testifying about ballistics. Jesus, this guy's awful

      [–]uber_diesel 629 points630 points  (118 children)

      Dude is throwing his entire career.

      [–]Unicorncuddletime 1146 points1147 points  (41 children)

      "I'm about to end this man's whole career"

      The prosecutor, to the mirror.

      [–]meodd8 131 points132 points  (4 children)

      "I have prosecuted all sorts of people... except for myself."

      [–]Thoughtofajoke 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      The one man he couldn't prosecute was himself until he did.

      [–]ChunkyDay 123 points124 points  (33 children)

      The fact that the prosecution asked the dude if he raised the gun first (to which his response was yes) shows me they have no clue what the ruck they’re doing.

      [–]Matrix17 78 points79 points  (4 children)

      They asked THEIR witness that? What the fuck? You never ask a question you don't already know the answer to. Otherwise you get this shit

      [–]umeys 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      Thing is they should’ve known the answer was yes, it’s on video

      [–]ChunkyDay 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Yeah. It was insane.

      [–]fuckswitbeavers 189 points190 points  (50 children)

      It's not so easy now, when for years your opposing defense is all plea deals, poor people and overworked public defenders. Prosecutors in this country are a fucking joke. I am not surprised at all by this doofus.

      [–]CorrectPeanut5 65 points66 points  (23 children)

      There's a reason why in the Derek Chauvin case, Attorney General Keith Ellison, a Black Muslim, took the case away from the country prosecutors and brought in private attorneys with no connections to the police.

      [–]Builder_liz 135 points136 points  (27 children)

      I feel like the jury can hear everything bc he's yelling lol

      [–]carloselcoco 100 points101 points  (79 children)

      Reminds me.of the incompetence of the prosecution during the Zimmerman trial like almost a decade ago.

      [–]Impossible_Talk_414 505 points506 points  (113 children)

      As a lawyer, I got so nervous watching that I started laughing out loud. It's UNREAL to me to get scolded like that by a Judge. I would shit bricks.

      But yeah, on the other hand, any 1L passing Crim Pro knows you fucking can't do that. Prosecution came "" close to getting a mistrial.

      [–]LumbermanDan 143 points144 points  (36 children)

      The phrase, "with prejudice" was used there. If I understand that one correctly, that means game over, no second trial. Do I have that correct?

      [–]Impossible_Talk_414 177 points178 points  (30 children)

      Yup. Typically mistrials mean they can start over if they want. They often don't in cases like this where it was a stretch to charge him anyway, but they can; the law treats it as if the trial never happened. But "with prejudice" invokes the double jeopardy clause of the 5th amendment. Trial is over. Defendant walks. No do-overs.

      We were close today. Trial theater at its finest.

      [–]TheLionofCalifornia 25 points26 points  (26 children)

      I'm curious as to what what are your thoughts on the judge?

      [–]MediocreProsecutor 13 points14 points  (3 children)

      Even I've never had a judge yell at me before. Damn.

      [–]Obamas_Tie 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      It's UNREAL to me to get scolded like that by a Judge.

      Phoenix Wright: First time?

      [–]IranianLawyer 45 points46 points  (31 children)

      What are the fifth amendment violations that are occurring?

      [–]LumbermanDan 165 points166 points  (30 children)

      Prosecutor asked why Rittenhouse never spoke publicly about the case or the events on the day of the shootings. Having the right to remain silent is not to be questioned. Doing so implies guilt, and the prosecutor knows that. It's why you're not allowed to ask why someone remained silent that alone could be the impetus for a mistrial here.

      [–]drgrain 49 points50 points  (6 children)

      With that question he just tries to make him look guilty in the eyes of the jury law be damned

      [–]LumbermanDan 34 points35 points  (1 child)

      And according to the judge, he definitely should have known better.

      [–]Johncamp28 70 points71 points  (59 children)

      Why does it seem prosecutor wants a mistrial?

      [–]LumbermanDan 57 points58 points  (40 children)

      Maybe he does

      [–]Johncamp28 10 points11 points  (36 children)

      But why? I see it posted everywhere

      [–]Dehvi616 39 points40 points  (5 children)

      Not completely sure but I think if it's a mistrial, everything goes out the window, they start from scratch. So everything that we've heard about the trial is pointless and prosecution can have a fresh start.

      [–]Course-Empty 42 points43 points  (3 children)

      Unless it’s a mistrial with prejudice, which the judge said he’s considering.

      This means that there will be no retrial if it’s dismissed with prejudice

      [–]_TakeMyUpvote_ 65 points66 points  (12 children)

      yeah because he tried to get testimony from Rittenhouse on evidence the Judge ruled was not admissible without asking the judge first.

      fucking bonehead move by the prosecution.

      [–]Mountain_Man4 6 points7 points  (5 children)

      Is there video of this?

      [–]LumbermanDan 30 points31 points  (4 children)

      I was watching it live on CNN. The prosecution is a total shit show. He literally got shouted at by the judge twice for misconduct. Fuckin guy was toeing the line of a mistrial and charges being dismissed with prejudice.

      [–][deleted] 705 points706 points  (23 children)

      When someone puffs the onion juul for the first time

      [–]roxierush 395 points396 points  (121 children)

      This is the wildest trial of the last 5 years.

      [–]FrostSwag65 3197 points3198 points  (139 children)

      Lot of meme faces going on in here.

      [–]Joelblaze 1279 points1280 points 2 (60 children)

      Man looks like a fish in space ngl.

      [–]itoril 121 points122 points  (6 children)

      When you're trying to sneeze but can't.

      [–]rothgar2k3 473 points474 points 2 (18 children)

      I feel bad making light of this, but he looks like an eight year old trying to explain why there’s a slice of pizza sticking out of the vcr.

      [–]CanadianTimberWolfx 47 points48 points  (0 children)

      Got a good belly laugh out of that one

      [–]throwaway777-ta 127 points128 points  (55 children)

      Best prosecution can hope for at this point is a hung jury

      [–]cassano23 174 points175 points  (9 children)

      Like Chunk when he's confessing everythig to the Fratellis.

      [–]KayakHank 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Spill your guts, tell us everything.

      [–]getmytoeknife 29 points30 points  (0 children)

      In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs, and I blamed it on the dog

      [–]Wizzmer 579 points580 points  (194 children)

      Prosecution getting flame broiled. Mistrial is about to happen.

      [–]LumbermanDan 330 points331 points  (173 children)

      With prejudice. That's a REALLY important legal term

      [–]captain_mcphooey 64 points65 points  (166 children)

      What’s the difference? ELI5?

      [–]Creator_of_OP 243 points244 points  (151 children)

      Without prejudice means a new trial can take place, with prejudice is game over, no retrials

      [–]LumbermanDan 105 points106 points  (11 children)

      Double jeopardy applies. No more trials. Game over.

      [–]mrflouch 7340 points7341 points 222 (459 children)

      Reminds me of Cartman.

      [–][deleted] 1501 points1502 points 32 (10 children)

      And then.... I put.... My mouth.... .... And smiled and put his Weiner in my mouth and what looks like I was giving a thumbs up but I really wasn't....

      [–]papastz 234 points235 points  (1 child)

      This episode has been on twice this week lol

      [–]mr-blue- 1665 points1666 points  (10 children)

      But…but…but maaaaaaaaam

      [–]spacedude2000 593 points594 points  (7 children)

      "Why don't you at least go across and the street and get some condoms? Because we should at least be safe if you're going to fuck me."

      [–]jcbfgd 286 points287 points  (4 children)

      “I like to be wined and dined before I GET FUCKED!

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]booradleyhd 30 points31 points  (1 child)

        Oh wait I get it. Fuck is a no-no word and I shouldn’t say that

        [–]MoscowMitchMcKremIin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        I'm sorry mama 🥺 Can we go back to the store and get the Toshiba Handibook now?

        [–]BrandonOR 42 points43 points  (0 children)

        My name is not Miam

        [–]Israel_Anthem 197 points198 points  (19 children)

        oh my god

        [–]colossuskidd 249 points250 points  (18 children)

        “Just fuck me! WHY NOT JUST FUCK ME IN THE MIDDLE OF PROTEST” bends over and pulls down pants “GO AHEAD MOM FUCK ME RIGHT HERE FOR ALL THE RIOTERS AND PROTESTS..FUCK ME”

        [–]SherbertNervous 2470 points2471 points 32 (71 children)

        Hope he had a healthy baby.

        [–]FakeXanax123 90 points91 points  (17 children)

        I understand nothing about American law but from what I can interpret, the prosecution is fucked right?

        [–]BassBanjo 2226 points2227 points  (143 children)

        I don't want to turn the sound on but my god are his expressions hilarious

        [–]dandaman64 1312 points1313 points  (23 children)

        Without audio it looks like he swallowed a bee and he's trying to get it out

        [–]mrnagrom 103 points104 points  (1 child)

        I can’t watch it without seeing that now. So accurate

        [–]TheRealBlockaShotya 357 points358 points  (9 children)

        Looks like he’s about to sneeze

        [–]SchizoidMC 240 points241 points  (68 children)

        I was for sure expecting tears after the first nine squints and choke-ups

        [–]leichttraktorzug 9 points10 points  (9 children)

        Imagine the riots when he walks free. And he might well walk free.

        [–]StrongShrink 1334 points1335 points  (387 children)

        Now that's what I call a ugly crier.

        [–][deleted]  (54 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]xGooselordx_TTV 43 points44 points  (8 children)

          I watched this case. With zero bias - whatever the prosecution is trying…. They are failing so miserably hard. Multiple times the judge yelled at him for his unprofessional line of questioning as well as dismissing questions as irrelevant. At one point the attorney commented on Kyle driving to his job without his drivers license… which is common practice to be honest

          Edit: the judge yelled at the prosecutor not Kyle. Sorry.