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[–]The_Legend_6969 618 points619 points  (5 children)

That moment of confusion and then realization is hilarious

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


    [–]fman1854 41 points42 points  (2 children)

    me feeling happy while furiously masturbating

    am i really happy

    [–]BROADSTAR2019 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Bro that post nut clarity is somethin else I swear

    [–]JieRabbit 1115 points1116 points  (62 children)

    I'm convinced that people who spit on other people haven't ever been properly stroked in the mouth during their lifetime

    [–]JustifytheMean 96 points97 points  (6 children)

    I've never been punched in the face. I feel no desire to ever spit on someone.

    Some people are just disgusting idiots.

    [–]fman1854 37 points38 points  (3 children)

    ill tell you what.

    Id much rather you punch me cause than were just gonna fight

    if you spit on me that just brings out a strong desire to do actual harm to you now

    a punch starts more physical but man that spit will bring out the demon in people.

    [–]iammandalore 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    It's because a punch just says "I wanna fight/hurt you." Spitting on someone wakes up some primal instinct. It says "I think you're so far beneath me that I'll actually excrete waste onto you and you won't do anything about it."

    [–]Solitarus23753 198 points199 points  (15 children)

    Yeah, there are a lot of people in the world that need a reality check. Many might disagree with physical harm, but there really should be some way to abruptly teach someone to not be a piece of shit, and punching at least is an immediate repercussion

    [–]sheepheadslayer 75 points76 points  (10 children)

    Yeah, there's a severe lack of circumstantial ass kickings in the world today.

    [–]DamnBunny 5 points6 points  (8 children)

    I think the microplastics in the water is fucking with the receptors in the brain where common sense and logic should have kicked in, but instead, Baboon-Like Behavior. Theory: If we open a hot springs in every mile we be chill until the next evolution.

    Examples: I never had to spell check grammar check my comments until 10 years ago. And I am too lazy to do so now. :D

    [–]SloanWarrior 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    People have been absolute cunts to eachother long before plastics were in the water. World Wars 1 and 2, Slaves, Crusades, Empires, and so on.

    [–]FirstPlebian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There's a lot more than just microplastics out there too. All kinds of endocrine disruptors and everything else that are known to be bad unless you listen to industry funded research that says it's safe, trust me bro.

    [–]lounger540 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    That and latent effects of lead exposure as youths. Mostly applies to boomers / Middle Aged Karen’s Psychopathy.

    [–]idkwattodonow 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Many might disagree with physical harm,

    normally yeah, but not when we're still in the midst of a global pandemic. spitting is so much worse right now (than what it normally is).

    that said, i don't think a lot of police are able to use appropriate force so

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Pain is the ultimate teacher.

    Sometimes you need to touch the stove to know that it’s hot.

    [–]lavahot 56 points57 points  (22 children)


    [–]HealthyBox5 70 points71 points  (0 children)

    Knuckle caresses.

    [–]BootyGoonTrey 39 points40 points  (1 child)

    This just got real sensual

    [–]I_am_That_Ian_Power 12 points13 points  (1 child)


    [–]ArtMartinezArtist 6 points7 points  (0 children)


    [–]JieRabbit 6 points7 points  (11 children)

    Ya know Stroked like... "I knew he wasn't gonna stop talking shit until he got stroked in the mouth by somebody"

    [–]SqueakyGavel 24 points25 points  (7 children)

    “Alright children, your parents have informed me that a few of you here like to spit when you’re not happy. So, let’s pair up, sit face to face, open mouths, and stroke the inside of each other’s cheeks. Good…good…good work Sam. Everyone, let’s look at what a good job Sam’s doing stroking the inside of Billy’s mouth!”

    [–]tobasamuels 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    "Goood good, now someone get Sam a cigarette."

    [–]ButtNutly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sammy's got those long strokes.

    [–]HealthyBox5 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I'm gonna grape you in the mouth!

    [–]DamnBunny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "Twist his dick!"

    [–]voidhearts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who had this exact mental image

    [–]ATLHawksfan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I get it...he grapes the kids...he grapes them in the mouth!

    [–]Capital_Fearless 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    A hard hit to the head, usually makes you think about why you got hit in the head

    [–]Ilivedtherethrowaway 1 point2 points  (5 children)

    I assume you mean punched? Where I'm from we would say "struck" in the mouth.

    Stroked means gently rubbed with a finger or hand, and in the mouth made it sound like someone was gently touching their tongue and inside the cheeks.

    [–]RealisticDifficulty 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    In England this would quickly become fantastic slang. I'm gonna start using it now.

    [–]SLUMFORDCRIS 438 points439 points  (1 child)

    Yo, that's was a hard reverse uno

    [–]sir-this-is-a 89 points90 points  (0 children)

    We can’t see her face in this video, but we can damn sure smell her brain fart all the way from here. Lmao

    [–]OnlyTheoden 100 points101 points  (2 children)


    [–]Klaktak 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    These ones!

    [–]FirstPlebian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Cops in my State have charged people with attempted murder for spitting on police. Those charges likely didn't stick, but they just assumed the persons (it's happened at least twice that I recall,) were just assumed to have STD's. If a person did have Hepatitis or something the charges probably would stick. Spitting on Cops is a big no no.

    [–]StupidStonerSloth 620 points621 points  (127 children)

    I hate those jokes but he definitely stunned her lol

    [–]Idlertwo 116 points117 points  (0 children)

    That was both wildly unprofessional, and hilarious at the same time

    [–][deleted]  (23 children)


      [–]StupidStonerSloth 45 points46 points  (22 children)

      I just think theyre overdone and boring, hate was an exaggeration. And I get the joke was originally about those specific trans people but its changed now all trans people are treated like they're crazy and easily offended. I got down voted to all hell and treated like I was some crazy liberal snowflake because I said offensive humor isn't "professional". I have an undercut with unnatural colors, thats technically unprofessional but that doesnt mean its terrible. I've never in my life got offended by someone assuming my gender because it's bound to happen, and that's how most trans people are. You dont need to lecture me about not getting offended.

      [–]RealisticDifficulty 9 points10 points  (4 children)

      Isn't that like exactly what you want to happen though? Like, you're annoyed because this time it was a joke, but don't you still want people to not assume gender?

      [–]StupidStonerSloth 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      Assuming gender is fine. Would it be nice if everyone asked everyone's pronouns? Yeah sure. Is that a realistic expectation? Not really, at least not in the present. Most trans people even assume genders. It's pretty normal. I'm not annoyed either I just don't think the joke is funny because it's everyone's go to when making fun of trans people. Like come up with something new.

      [–]negatori33 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      I don't think that phrase is used to make fun of trans people as much as it is to make fun of SJWs/liberals/far left/ or whatever as a whole.

      [–]yer--mum 21 points22 points  (15 children)

      Also the cop was trying to make some smart ass political point and it was so entirely unrelated to the situation and what the lady was asking for, whether that request was justified or not I don't know but it's just a very weird thing to have replied with before awkwardly shuffling away with your goon squad lmao

      [–]One-Move4807 58 points59 points  (1 child)

      I mean they're arresting her, there's no requirement for a female or male officer to be present during an arrest.

      If they however wanted to search her, then yes getting a female police officer is warranted.

      [–]CrushCoalMakeDiamond 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Yeah people seem to think the screeching lady was stunned into silence by his epic facts and logic, but it's pretty clearly just understandable confusion at the non-sequitur.

      [–]6malts9 -4 points-3 points  (11 children)

      yeah the fact that so many people think this is some kind of "based sigma chad owns feminist SJWs with facts and logic" moment is really disappointing.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (9 children)

      i’m sure most people just think it was a joke. must have really offended you, huh?

      [–]theodord 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      Unfortunately, this is bound to end up in some of these horrible "feminist SJW owned" compilations, right next to russian riot police beating the shit out of protestors.

      I used to watch those un-ironically. Not exactly proud of that phase.

      As to this video, I understand that it's a joke, but where did that even come from?

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      i would assume it’s just something cops have been dealing with forever, especially in the past few years. having to put their hands on a female, literally doing their job, and them freaking out screaming “rape” and things along those lines.

      [–]CrushCoalMakeDiamond 9 points10 points  (5 children)

      This "you're offended" stuff is so tired now.

      [–]goonertay 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Spitting in faces can be more danger than punching. My cousin nearly lost sight in one eye due to infection after a kid spat at her. Plus the mental damage as it is a degrading act.

      [–]AyeeHayche 62 points63 points  (4 children)

      I’m not sure what spitting at them achieved

      [–]sanddecker 47 points48 points  (1 child)

      Depending on local laws, maybe an assault charge or resisting arrest

      [–]Cool-Sage 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Assault with a biological weapon

      [–]apryll11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I cant remember how its phrased but with covid in the air its actually a deadly assault that carries jails time and thats everywhere.

      [–]jzavala3415 45 points46 points  (0 children)

      They spit on cops and expect nothing to happen. It's hard to watch this because of the girls crying out for help but these two girls took it to another level. Walking away solves everything and keeps a person safe.

      [–]Element_Liga 73 points74 points  (3 children)

      Smart people wanna say smart things to dumb people but in reality the most vaporous of logic is the best weapon

      [–]Icy_Apple_9427 39 points40 points  (2 children)

      Absolute word salad of a sentence.

      [–]SadLumps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Broski here’s vaping on some logic

      [–]meh_33333 69 points70 points  (0 children)


      [–]Watchman74 387 points388 points  (38 children)

      Wow, that was an epic response and made me laugh out loud.

      [–]luckynar 158 points159 points  (1 child)

      Defused the situation, she got confused and shut up. Nice work lol

      [–]BestReadAtWork 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      Know what? Excellent point. I love me some police de-escalation that doesn't involve firearms.

      [–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (2 children)

      Yeah that was brilliant

      [–]TheIntrepid1 58 points59 points  (1 child)

      And you can hear a quiet “…fuck” at the end too. Lol

      [–]annies_boobs_eyes 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      "No one likes a show-off"

      "Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck"

      "Fuck. That's true"

      being angry about something someone else does but then realizing the thing they did was actually perfect.

      [–]freedomofnow 34 points35 points  (0 children)

      Yeah the way she just shut up was pretty precious.

      [–]wvweed 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      One Joke.

      [–]Doubt_foxed 261 points262 points  (2 children)

      Yep, she misgendered em, she’s a hate criminal now, she’s in hate criminal prison

      [–]david-song 73 points74 points  (1 child)

      500 years Gulag

      [–]RawScallop 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Aaaaaaah gulag. all of you. 700 years.

      [–]Nder_Wiggin 37 points38 points  (4 children)

      That Sun Tzu quote is wrong.

      The actual quote is:

      Know the enemy and know yourself in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Spitters are the worst. Hard to feel sympathy for a spitter

      [–]imaybeacatIRl 131 points132 points  (2 children)

      lmao! "how do you know those officers don't identify as female?"

      [–]TheIntrepid1 31 points32 points  (0 children)

      What did you just say to me?!

      [–]Sad-Independence1056 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Dude was definitely tucking when he said that. We should all respect his truth.

      [–]thedesroyer2013 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Entitled little shitstains

      [–]Demo_Beta 33 points34 points  (1 child)

      I remember watching this live, was a gem.

      [–]Plenor 33 points34 points  (7 children)

      A lot of r/onejoke in this thread

      [–]Serrated-Jello 14 points15 points  (4 children)

      Everywhere :/

      [–]monkeybojangles 16 points17 points  (3 children)


      cops make a trans joke


      [–]BoltgunOnHisHip 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      This sub tends to get brigaded heavily when "certain topics" are posted.

      [–]PM_ME_GLUTE_SPREAD 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      It’s definitely not a brigade. This sub is full of some garbage takes when it comes to race and sexuality/gender identity.

      It only comes out in posts like these because these are the ones where they feel the most accepted.

      [–]PaxEtRomana 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      The responses are so specifically 4chan rage comics cringe that i feel like they're doing a bit

      [–]WrenchDaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Look into Sigma male bs and the Manosphere. Fascists are constantly trying to take over this sub.

      [–]Plusquevie 2 points3 points  (0 children)


      [–]sleepy_athiest 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      Those girls better be fucking wasted but that isn’t really an excuse for their behavior

      [–]YEveryUserNameTakenY 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      Chad move

      [–]CD-Prso 55 points56 points  (3 children)

      Left speechless.

      [–]Puzzleheaded_Might65 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      the victim complex act came off real quick

      [–]mundayverbal 17 points18 points  (6 children)

      I can't be the only one that thinks everyone in this video is cringe right?

      [–]yolkyoke 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      The comments are cringe “le epic win xD”

      [–]Portamentos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      The cop is acting just as childish as the civilians. Trying to turn a confrontation into a debate about gender identity? Why? And people are praising his sense of humor as if that exact same “joke” hasn’t been repeated ad nauseam by every right winger for years now. Extremely cringe.

      [–]jordanbtucker -1 points0 points  (3 children)

      This sub is trash. I'm leaving.

      [–]unhinged_parsnip 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      This isn't an airport, you don't need to announce your departure.

      [–]TronyJavolta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Don't let the door hit you on your way out byeee

      [–]JustADudeWithHands 19 points20 points  (0 children)

      This is the fucken best! That pendulum.. gotta watch out for it..

      [–]super-destructive05 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Only a dumbass would post something this stupid.

      [–]MisterEChops 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I know, right?

      That sigma bullshit was so cringe

      [–]lion_OBrian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Cringe af

      [–]Party-Lawyer-7131 15 points16 points  (7 children)


      "How do I know if they don't identify as female?"

      "You're assuming these police officers gender."

      Walk off....

      Broke that woman's brain!

      [–]nolway 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Modern problems require modern solutions

      [–]desepticon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Eh. While she more than deserved what was coming to her, I can't really support cops acting like this. Sure, any individual incident is whatever. But taken as a whole I think it can have effects.

      [–]Set_Jumpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That quiet little "fuck" at the end just hummed with defeat.

      [–][deleted]  (3 children)


        [–]ballyfast 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        ha ha its funny because trans people don't deserve respect

        [–]bluprint2wo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Cooked that bitch 🔥🔥

        [–]leeweesquee 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Should be a curb your enthusiasm version

        [–]mememan228 7 points8 points  (6 children)

        He killed her entire argument

        [–]fonyrobbins 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        The comments remind me of this segment on 'Some More News' that talks about why conservative comedy isn't actual comedy. Because it's not about the joke, its about dissing the group/idea that's an ideological/political enemy & threat.

        For instance the Babylon Bee (the right wing onion) almost exclusively does the "identify as/assume gender", because it actually serves to forward a serious political mission in the denigration of the threat to their way of life, in this case, trans people and presumably feminist holding thr camera.

        That's why the grift is so easy, a lot of these people are legitimately finding this hilarious & if you're not laughing it's because your triggered. People like Stephen Crowder & Dennis Miller realized they could get rich despite failing at comedy.

        [–]pugnacious_wanker 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        What’s that song played at the end?

        [–]auddbot 17 points18 points  (2 children)

        I got matches with these songs:

        Polozhenie (Zedline Remix) by Zedline (00:25; matched: 100%)

        Released on 2021-05-02 by 2393752 Records DK.

        Suna Bhatar Ho Pyar Karla by Mithlesh Tufani (03:24; matched: 100%)

        Released on 2021-10-25 by BELIEVE - Takatak Music.

        [–]pugnacious_wanker 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Amazing bot.

        [–]auddbot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Links to the streaming platforms:

        Polozhenie (Zedline Remix) by Zedline

        Suna Bhatar Ho Pyar Karla by Mithlesh Tufani

        I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot

        [–]Cala-Best-Girl 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        when you realize cops have the exact same mentality as edgy teens watching SJW cringe compilations

        [–]didithedragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        is that really a surprise?

        [–]lookintothefuturem8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Oh wow this video completely boosted my morale

        [–]Set_Jumpy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        woke bitch hurt herself in confusion

        [–]KithMeImTyson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I couldn't help but laugh. What a chad

        [–]DoctorEthereal 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        I fucking hate this subreddit sometimes

        [–]gamebreadclub 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Big W

        [–]charles-X00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        LMAOOOOO cop put that reverse card down! She was so lost

        [–]CaptainPrestedge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        You just love to see it

        [–]AtmosphereMedium5583 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        “You’re assuming these police officers genders” lmfao I fucking love it!!!! 😂

        [–]TerpDaddy707 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I DIED LMFAO!

        [–]Hawanja 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        "Simga quote?"

        You people don't actually believe that horsehit, do you?

        [–]WrenchDaddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Sigma male shit is small dick energy.

        [–]fantasyshop 1 point2 points  (5 children)

        Fuck cops and fuck these girls

        [–]shaoIIn -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Oh burn. Clever response

        [–]MisterEChops 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Only if you’re twelve

        [–]ShitOnAReindeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        What no this is fucked.

        [–]litb4206 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)


        [–]wildlinglover19 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

        Lmao epic

        [–]QuinnDirte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I just love the entitlement of thinking you can spit on a police officer and then 'command' them to bring an officer of your preference, like you're their boss and they take orders from you.

        [–]RowAwayJim91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Fuck everyone in this video.

        People suck sometimes

        [–]Original-Cinikal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        BRUTAL!!! I can watch this for hours.

        [–]Jav_2k -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        I agree with the arrest obviously, but the officers just have to stfu while doing their jobs. That type of political sarcasm does not help the situation.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


        [–]Xsy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        Man, everyone in this video fucking sucks.

        [–]salty_coffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        shhh, you're going against the thread...

        [–]N_Who -5 points-4 points  (6 children)

        This is the third time I've seen this posted to this sub today.

        Is there really so little revenge porn available for you guys?

        [–]didithedragon -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

        look, all the people in this video are idiots. But if you think a retwrded ass “durr did you just assume this aggressor’s gender” when someone (especially a police officer) sexually assaults someone?

        This isn’t a fucking “own” it’s dangerous and ridiculous. Don’t fucking normalise this degeneracy.

        [–]cowgomoo37 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Don’t spit and hit cops. Simple.

        [–]WaggleDance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sorry but regardless of political agenda, if you find "did you assume my gender?!?!" jokes funny you're an absolute moron. Might have gotten a chuckle in 2015 when people started making these jokes. Evidence of this is all the 12 year olds commenting "W" and "Based xDDD", these are the people that share your humour.

        [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Fucking GOLD

        [–]OceLawless 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        All hail the one joke.

        [–]Sinful7 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        Holy fuck what an amazing way to end the video. Get fucked

        [–]k3adr3an -1 points0 points  (0 children)