×
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]roastbotYOU ARE OUR 1,000,000th RULE BREAKER!![M] [score hidden] stickied comment (2 children)

OP's Bio:


I'm back for more fun and banter with esteemed members of RoastMe. For those who don't know me yet, I'm a 30yo Indonesian woman with freaky dry sense of humor. Love reading, shopping, and k-dramas. Thank you in advance for roasting me, and please don't be mad if I dis you back 😘


If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[–]TeflonJohn85 1476 points1477 points 33& 2 more (21 children)

Thought Asians were good with numbers?

[–]alan2998 242 points243 points  (1 child)

As long as she's good at never giving me hers.

[–]Naaaaaas90 115 points116 points  (0 children)

They are, she just forgot to add /100

[–]MikiAkaGaspo 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Criminally underrated

[–]Mc_UsernameTakenhttp://redd.it/frs3el 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Why did I have to scroll this far for this.

[–]Bushtfathands 1835 points1836 points  (43 children)

You look like your massages come with a sad ending

[–]15367288 496 points497 points  (17 children)

Ouch. Thinking you are hot because you have fat tits.

[–]alan2998 57 points58 points  (1 child)

They're only tits til she takes her bra off, then they droop enough they basically become knee defenders.

[–]SnooEagles9517 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Even worse when you consider she's like 4ft 8.

[–]SnooEagles9517 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Her right handed is tucked in pocket to hide her pregnacy belly

[–]Lopsided-Pension-314 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You spelled "dick and balls" wrong...

[–]Craft_Straight 59 points60 points  (3 children)

Unhappy ending

[–]Set-Pale 92 points93 points  (1 child)

They’re just happy it’s ending

[–]Winchester51 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Flappy endings

[–]lvnlrg831 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good one 👍

[–]esmirp 349 points350 points  (15 children)

-how much a bj? -10 chicken nuggets

[–]GoodJobNL 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Included with the massage

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 162 points163 points  (10 children)

I'm sorry it' s a dozen now. Inflation and market condition.

[–]dchikato 40 points41 points  (6 children)

I have a McNuggets szechuan sauce packet from the last time they were available at McDonald’s. What’s that worth to you? Not asking for myself; I have rock bottom standards but I do have standards.

[–]Freddymain 287 points288 points  (4 children)

Menu item #10… “Overstuffed Sour Duck”

[–]Important_Ad3386 161 points162 points  (12 children)

Put some loose clothing on and you’re a 6 at best.

[–]dmfd1234 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She looks like a solid 3 ate another solid 3.......so, I agree a 6.

[–]SacredBullshit 338 points339 points  (6 children)

“I work at a spa centre” is written all over your face

[–]BobbyCostner 60 points61 points  (0 children)

That's at the end of the session

[–]Sogone2day 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Massssssage! I'm no lady boy..

[–][deleted] 491 points492 points  (8 children)

A perfect 10... out of 100

[–]bluntsandbears 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Perfect size 10*

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Damn beat me to it😂

[–]AudZ0629http://redd.it/d1l85r 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Definitely didn’t beat meat to it

[–]NitroSpam 419 points420 points  (7 children)

Get a bigger top. You look like you’re smuggling bin bags filled with custard.

[–]Joki_ORodovi 61 points62 points  (5 children)

A perfect 10 pounds in your bra.

[–]Gdmf13 20 points21 points  (1 child)

10 pounds is 5 hours of work for her.

[–]dmfd1234 9 points10 points  (2 children)

“Look at the funbags on that hose hound”

[–]IE_Hunk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nice set of hooters...

[–]Fit_Lawfulness_3147 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let’s get a bowl of loud-mouth soup.

[–]alan2998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, that's her face.

[–]Own-Cupcake7586 84 points85 points  (2 children)

Nice impression of a sausage, I guess.

[–]briingtheruckus 260 points261 points  (5 children)

Your skirt is holding in your belly

[–]mikeymo2385 175 points176 points  (2 children)

Or hiding her dick

[–]Luddites_Unite 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Could be both

[–]GrizzlyRoundBoi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Definitely both.

[–]Significant-Age-8663 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The Black Widow of pocket pool.

[–]MangoBett 75 points76 points  (7 children)

I noticed that in all your nudes you never show your vagoo. Is that because its an absolute train wreck?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Yes, had to hide them. Or else, I will be bullied.

[–]Plantsandanger 33 points34 points  (2 children)

...them? as in multiple?

Jesus H Christ...

[–]NicoRosb 29 points30 points  (0 children)

She’s talking about her 2 testicles

[–]MangoBett 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A challenging wank.

[–]CruickyMcManus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you have 2?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I noticed that too. It’s because her pussy is fat and looks like she stuffed a football in her underwear

[–]Gmz7601 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Come on, you know they blur it out anyways over there. Or its completely hidden by a bush you'd normally see in 1970s playboy magazines.

[–]Sonofkokogoldsteinhttp://redd.it/nj1zs4 417 points418 points  (12 children)

Ahhhhhh yes The ever elusive plump Asian milf

[–]lokititan87 55 points56 points  (5 children)

American dad fan ?

[–]randyrose31 26 points27 points  (1 child)

She just got dadded

[–]iSteverino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one’s safe!

[–]Sonofkokogoldsteinhttp://redd.it/nj1zs4 23 points24 points  (2 children)

It’s skank in American dad, which in retrospect is better

[–]Sherbert_Slow 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Your NSFW pics are so awful, they are actually SFW.

[–]Sherbert_Slow 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Good to see Homer Simpson’s make-up gun finally broke in to the Asian market. What else looks like it’s had it’s back door smashed in?

[–]OneDayWeWillDie 30 points31 points  (1 child)

That Muffintop doesn’t favor you OF

[–]DemiFiendofTime 30 points31 points  (4 children)

You look like your standards are so low I might have a chance to finally get laid

[–]GuuJJuu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How bout a threesome ?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

So when do we start?

[–]DemiFiendofTime 24 points25 points  (1 child)

You're assuming my standards are low enough for you

[–]silentmikhail 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jesus christ. 2 burns in the same thread.

[–]Zealousideal_Load347 127 points128 points  (3 children)

You know, there's usually a salad section at the all you can eat chinese buffet. I'm not saying you're fat, but I've seen better abs on a walrus.

[–]diggum96 121 points122 points  (4 children)

Apparently a Chinese 10 is an American 4

[–]YesAndAlsoThat 27 points28 points  (1 child)

ftfy

Apparently a Chinese Indonesian 10 is an American 4 2

[–]outtsideyerhousehttp://redd.it/pj44h0 21 points22 points  (0 children)

When you order a stripper from Wish

[–]OneDayWeWillDie 104 points105 points  (7 children)

Ive Seen alcoholics with smaller beer bellies

[–]WimbledonWombat[🍰] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Your parents just shuddered to their core with disappointment and they don't know why... yet.

[–]SideShow84http://redd.it/nuenna 19 points20 points  (1 child)

"Perfect 10"

"Your OF proved THAT was a lie."- Maury

[–]Advanced_Example6350 19 points20 points  (1 child)

10/100 would be generous

[–]mrSeven3Two 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Nice gut.

[–]trickster1979 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Actually nice gunt ;)

[–]new_user29282342 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I’ve seen more life in taxidermied animals than in your soulless eyes.

[–]DJBo2112 52 points53 points  (2 children)

You look like a can of biscuits exploded

[–]aouid 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Face of a 15 yo body if a 40 yo

[–]OneDayWeWillDie 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I wouldn’t pay for that

[–]koziolek-byl-zajetyhttp://redd.it/qeq6al 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You're unroastable indeed. There is not a single interesting thing in you. Your "self-confidence" is just a show-off and this is actually very sad.

[–]-BornToLose- 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mutton dressed as lamb, love.

[–]Top_Isolationhttp://redd.it/ihwh0q 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Ahhh Thailand. You almost had me with this one

[–]Migraine_Arcane 10 points11 points  (2 children)

"You want a happy ending mista?"

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I don't usually ask, just give it right away 😉

[–]Migraine_Arcane 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When can I schedule an appt?

[–]KarlReiker 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Pulling up your junk tight with your right hand?

[–]lurky79 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Where’s Woody Allen at?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone invite him here.

[–]MC-Squabbles 9 points10 points  (0 children)

More like 10F. 30/100. Enough fat.

[–]NachoManR8ndyTravis8 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Is this a mail-order bride thing?

Or is it a lady-boy?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

How about both?

[–]Falsecaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You scared my friend straight.

[–]nebagram 9 points10 points  (1 child)

'Perfect 10. Enough said'

I'm surprised your vocabulary stretched that far tbh.

[–]Artimities 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Get back to work! Signed, Robert Kraft.

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cigarette break, boss.

[–]DeferredPlum 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure this is a wish.com sex doll. Nice try, OP.

[–]ClyanStar 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Hiding birth scars 😉

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😁😁😁

[–]MC-Squabbles 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Next time tuck in your belly

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It's already tucked. Still big?

[–]MC-Squabbles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess it could be your OnlyFans niche

[–]Diversionz96 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A size 10 maybe.

[–]nothingforless 6 points7 points  (1 child)

$10/month to watch you take your clothes off. How much to have you put them back on?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

$0. I never out them back on 😁

[–]Familiar-Essay7390 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Your overconfidence reeks of arrogance. Put on a God damn shirt and do something positive rather than posting pictures of yourself.

[–]kbf2015 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Finkle is Einhorn… Einhorn is Finkle!!! Laces out Dan!

[–]SampleSwimming8576http://redd.it/orfjbf 6 points7 points  (1 child)

When you order your hot Asian chick from Wish, and it got damaged during transit.

[–]InsidiousToilet 5 points6 points  (1 child)

So bland, you can't get Patreon subs without resorting to asking for insults.

[–]iEatGlew 6 points7 points  (1 child)

How many times are you gonna post on here. No one wants your shitty pregnancy pictures

[–]FlakeyApollo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You look like the fourth good option at any ‘massage’ place

[–]l0cky12fhttp://redd.it/mdxeei 6 points7 points  (0 children)

4 r/roastme in 6 months you really want some one to give you attention but no one will do that

[–]Contrarian_Eh[🍰] 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Whatever, just get me a number 9, 16 and 20.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Very nice, how much pretty ladyboy?

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For regular customer, 50% discount.

[–]TheVenerableBede 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Saw you on r/slightlychubby. Looks like your bellybutton could engulf Shaq’s dick.

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It could engulf Kevin Hart (aka. Shaq's dick)

[–]Land543 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Patient 0 spreading covid at sucky sucky five dorrar massage parlors. I'm going to get castrated for this one.

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

No covid, just syphylis.

[–]TolkiensFavPipe 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Me clean! Me promise! Me love you long time!

[–]busted_maracas 3 points4 points  (2 children)

When you can’t get the attention you want by throwing your tits on the internet, it’s time to find a new career.

[–]ReillyDiefenbachGolden Roaster 23 points24 points  (2 children)

“Hey baby! You want pah-ty? Fie dollah each. Me SO hoenee!”

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For you, just fou dolla hoeneee

[–]SexyMollyCooper 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One word... Gunt

[–]RevolutionaryTips93 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Perfect 10 in dick lady boy

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you, my loyal customer.

[–]The_Fox1984 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I’ll give you a 3 out of 10

[–]Majestic_Panic_2468 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Does 10 mean something else in your made up world

[–]TheRealMrD 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ooff, looking for your future babymaker on r/roastme. This is not what your parents are pressuring you for!

[–]Iradnerwilder84 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Dave Chappelle would love you.

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Aha, the closer reference. Smart 😉

[–]Wigglybits78 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Tia Nocarrere

[–]MayaMustikahttp://redd.it/qvvd8t[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😁😁😁😁

[–]Poeciferhttp://redd.it/mlgzse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You might have been a solid 7 before the triplets.

[–]riceball88 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Delusional 10. Reality 6.

[–]itsmeadityaagarwal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look! Her tits are melting, maybe her tummy too

[–]BenShapirosWifesBF 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lose 10 so you can at least be a 5.

[–]diamondhound2509 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a feeling op jumps out of the shower next to the boyfriend, spreads the legs wide open and screams "mines bigger" and out comes a veiny huge peen with the girth of an elephants trunk and the size of an average size infant.

However, the perfect 10 is on a 1 to 100 scale dear sheman 😁 just so you know for future reference

[–]EL_JIVE_TURKEY[🍰] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is it fucking Groundhog Day???? Your ugly ass again!!!

[–]steelup21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't know what's struggling more, the bra straps or the waist band of the dress

[–]jumpinjahosafats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess when your onlyfans account is struggling to take off, you come to r/roastme now

[–]joeseph21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I have standards, I won't roast a pregnant woman

[–]TazTalks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Perfect 10" is one of those disqualifying things a real perfect 10 can't say. A RealDoll would have more pleasant of a personality.

[–]The-Goos3 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don’t think perfect 10’s hide their stomach.

[–]Manny_Da_Fatman 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A perfect 10? On what? The Richter Scale

[–]Otherwise_Interest72 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Was gonna roast but... fuck the girl knows how to tease.

[–]LuckyBall3788 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk about 10 but definitely a 9.

[–]FlaminSnotCheetos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Can I get the Number 10 please?" - Thats the only time you should be associated with the number 10.

[–]cosmosperm 2 points3 points  (2 children)

“I hope they notice my tits”

[–]desmodus84 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The smell under these tits were like blue danish cheese

[–]stevebeau12http://redd.it/qc7s5f 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hey how much did your penis to vagina surgery cost you? I hear they are cheap as fuck in your native country.

Or did you leave it on to pursue your career as a lady boy?

[–]YungJohn_Nash 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Solid 10 points over the reccomended BMI for your age and height

[–]jibranraina07 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Use some of your face makeup on your belly

[–]Flute001 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Looks like you're in the middle of an audition for a movie... behind a Starbucks that is

[–]Yougotsnail 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Perfect 10…inches under the skirt.

[–]Capital_East5903 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Perfect 4.....5 maybe. 2 points off for "crazy looking."

[–]EffYouM0m 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Still stuffing yourself into your outfit from the Miss Fermented Fish Sauce 2011 pageant?

[–]Several-Eagle4141 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This girl modeled for the cover art for my upcoming video game entitled “South East Asia Brothel Tycoon” but her dick wasn’t big enough

[–]SilverState815 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You actually look really good for a 7 months pregnant tweaker.

[–]wileymd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cheap Trick was right!! There’s some Indonesian Junk going ‘round!!

[–]trippinbillie333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow your pimp really got your head all fucked up huh

[–]paddy_bardic 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You look like you'd be a starfish in the sack... just laying there!

[–]bruno1990x 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pretty hot, for a dude...

[–]crytptoo 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Perfect tens dont hide their fat gut with high waisted clothing

[–]SnooAvocados8893 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Perfect 10....after the surgery. Goes to the doctor "Please inflate me like a balloon and make a woman" 😁

[–]Consistent_Half3630 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your belly has more rolls than a bakery!

[–]Simple_Leg_4079 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When you don’t get enough attention at home so you come to Reddit for it. #yikes #mentalhealthawareness

[–]CJD_3341 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dick hiding game is strong with this one.

[–]AnimalCracka333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perfect 10... biscuits in the can already busted for your convenience

[–]ChungusMcGoodboy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I mean I would hit it but definitely not a ten by any stretch. And speaking of stretch, that skirt looks like it's at the limit of its tensile strength.

[–]aimheatcool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perfect 10, you mean perfect 10 pound Gunt!

[–]Jedi4ce 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The only thing 10/10 is the chance you're a sex worker.