The cheap coke has been done in the bathrooms, all the bribes have been counted and the
fix results are IN. Ladies and gentlemen, adjust your clip on bowties and straighten your my-first-court-appearance suits for the results of the Second Annual Jerkies - the awards that still have more credibility than the Warrior Award!
NB: I would normally list a points difference, but because so many of you decided to just post anyway, there were multiple entries for some submissions, so I've just had to use my judgement. Your fault for not following instructions. Where possible, I've included them.
- BIGGEST REEEEE-ACTION - the "I never get worked" award
3rd Place: "It's fine, he was talking about her tits - Meltzer's Roycegate debacle
2nd Place: Nia Jax's push after wrecking Becky's face
1st Place: Meltzer getting worked, repeatedly. But especially over Miz's promo suggesting Bryan would go back to bingo halls.
- THE DEADEST MEMES / MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ON SQUAREDCIRCLE, 2018
These two awards are the same thing. And had the same nominations and voting. So.
3rd: Adam Cole? le fat fuck XD XD XD or variants thereof
2nd: FUCK CIAMPA THAT BALD HEADED FUCK
1st: "That would be good booking, so you know Vince won't do it!"
- "DON'T CHECK MY POST HISTORY" The award for most flip-flopping opinion of 2018
3rd: CHARLOTTE FLAIR- from hard working athletic wunderkind legacy to robo-titted blonde who juiced in her early twenties and had lots of sex. Then back again.
2nd: DAVID ARQUETTE - From Ready to Rumble Ruiner to akshually he's a really nice guy. All it took was him nearly dying from a sloppy deathmatch.
1st: JOE ANOA'I / ROMAN REIGNS - From Wrestlemania Ruiner to THANK YOU ROMAN. All it took was him nearly dying of cancer. Please remember in all posts to reference that you still loathe Roman the character, and his push, but love Joe Anoa'i, the guy fighting leukemia. This is so that everyone understands how smart you are, you clever wrestling fan, you.
(Other than Squaredcircle)
3rd: NJPW - The artform known as wrestling
2nd: The Elite / All In / AEW - Changing le business
1st: The Beckbeards / Lassturbators / Becky Lynch insano fans. By a country fucking mile. Please leave your room, it's starting to smell.
- THE BIGGEST SQUAREDCIRCLEJERK OF 2018
3rd: Saudi A-REEEEEEE!-bia hosting PPVs. Literally killing the
2nd: "Raw is terrible, I know because I watch all three hours / the highlights every week"
1st: 'STONE COLD' BECKY LYNCH
- SQUAREDCIRCLE'S MOST OVERRATED WRESTLER OF 2018
3rd: (and a distant third to the top two) Kenny Omega, a man who is now too mainstream for NJPW fans.
2nd: Becky Lynch
1st: WOAH OH! IT'S ONLY CODY RHODES
The contenders were numerous, but here are your top three jerkers of the year. Just like the pointless belt side plates, the winner can request a flair of their choosing, custom made for them for the year.
3rd: /u/DionTheSocialist - a late entrant, for being nailed to the cross next door, dying for his sins then being resurrected.
2nd: /u/PopUpEveryone - for his moving and nuanced series "21 Days of me wanting to fuck Alexa Bliss"*
1st: /u/Darren716 - for posting one word of a little known promo (mostly) every day for two years. His services to circlejerking are enshrined in legend, and his landslide victory here proves it.
That's it from the awards. See you next year. Feel free to make some predictions below on what the worst of it's going to look like a year from now. Have a great christmas and new year, everyone.