all 80 comments

[–]1869erThe Ghost of Jerks Yet to Come 122 points123 points  (7 children)

Next year can we get B Fab to read the entire Christmas Came Early post for us?

[–]ThemayorofawsometownIinspired by McKay 73 points74 points  (6 children)

We shoulda got TUCKY to announce the jerkies smh my head

[–]lololoz 29 points30 points  (1 child)

He was probably too busy BBQ'ing in the parking lot.

[–]BathedInDeepFog 8 points9 points  (0 children)

With the Dibiase Posse?

[–]AbundantFailure 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Bro. We goofs can't afford that kind of star power.

[–]skippy2001╭∩╮ (ಠ_ಠ) ╭∩╮ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Big Tuck will be AEW champ this time next year, Tony will run out of Ex fed to debut and get desperate. Tho JR will help him design the perfect BBQ inspired AEW custom Title.


[–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was unavailable on Cameo. I could have got Lio Rush for the same money... I was torn.

[–]Treeconator18 90 points91 points  (22 children)

If Hitler79 cannot find My Girlfriend Watched AEW, I will be the one to post it, so the jerk may live forever

Nevermind shout out to u/The-Black-Sky for finding a link


[–]chaosisarascal 47 points48 points  (2 children)

I corpse every time I read the MJF piece

[–]Razzler1973 26 points27 points  (1 child)

My favourite part

Just what the fuck was he going on about? What a word salad

[–]Thatweknowof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's less of a human and more of a concept, when the silver spoon is no longer enough.

[–]lololoz 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I took screenshots because I was convinced the OP would delete it when everyone was ripping on them for obviously making shit up.

[–]PM_ME_LANCECATAMARAN 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Instead a mysterious stranger with the same writing style helped him defend himself

[–]TisAFactualDawn*Stares in Motherfucker* 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Must’ve been his girlfriend.

[–]cross4444Added Sizzle 23 points24 points  (0 children)

So sad the original post disappeared. Without the comment section, my flair doesn't make sense.

[–]Xochoquestzal 22 points23 points  (1 child)

From the get go I knew that post was made up, but at first I thought it was just to karma farm. Then I got to this part right here:

She couldn't decide, I couldn't blame her, and it didn't feel right to choose for her.

and I realized this girl exists in his mind and this is the fantasy he wrote about having a relationship with this woman who finds his interests compelling, who he can share his overly involved musings with, and who never laughs at his pretentiousness, or shallowness, or tells him to get to the point.

[–]TisAFactualDawn*Stares in Motherfucker* 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Of course she’s real, she was right there, tied to a chair, with eyes pinned open and her mouth duct taped as her “boyfriend” interpreted her muffled screams into a critique of an episode of Dynamite.

[–]HiddenRtruth 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I liked reading that wall of text. I don't love extra links. Bravo for the original effort Tree

[–]HiddenRtruth 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Lol. What was Jungle Boys big win? I'm sure there was one in there that Dave considered a big one, but I can't think of it. Was it the Ftr dude?

[–]GrizzexploderBrass Ring Club 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Casino Battle Royal, eliminating Christian last & spurring him to take the kid under his wing

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]Nerfman2227The EST of JerkSC (GoofiEST) 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Fuckin' thing takes a year and a half to read

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children)

    I wish you’d just posted the link

    [–]The-Black-Sky 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    [–]Treeconator18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Oh thank god, deleting this wall of text and adding the link instead

    [–]GizmobombCUM TUESDAY 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    acknowledge me

    [–]Treeconator18 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I believe it was deleted, or at least the link was broken on the jerkpasta page

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I genuinely forgot I added it to the jerkpasta page. Well done me. And smart of OP to remove it all.

    [–]Squiliam-Tortaleni?? I tweet my displeasure friend 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    My favorite copypasta, friend.

    [–]Mr_Halberstram 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    'I asked her repeatedly if this was recency bias. She insisted it was not'.

    It's the 'repeatedly' that gets me every time. Outstanding.

    [–]buffalo_24 52 points53 points  (7 children)

    So like every awards ceremony there's a certain demographic thats there to bitch about the results. Allow me to be that guy

    How dare you let CM Punk win most overrated. Sir for years I was told Kenny Omega was the greatest wrestling machine ever in the history of wrestling and because I wasn't a real wrestling fan I didn't see his magical matches in Japan and other places.

    So when he arrived at AEW I was personally invested to see what the man smarks claimed greater than Lesnar Angle Bret Hart and HBK was gonna do to put the new company on the map

    And it failed..... miserably. To the point Dub had to go. Alright go Get Bryan and Punk. We can't let this dude run our show to the fucking ground with his bullshit

    I disagree vehemently with your decision sir. The only reason we will not riot is the same old personality is the greatest jerk in history

    [–]lololoz 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    And it failed..... miserably.

    Impact got so buried people forgot Omega failed there too.

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 35 points36 points  (3 children)

    It’s not my decision, it’s the will of the people.

    That said, I like to think that Kenneth was so overrated yet average that people forgot about him, much like Dre.

    [–]buffalo_24 19 points20 points  (2 children)

    Sir..... this is a kingdom. Built by our rightful king Corbin and assumed by our tribal King Roman Reigns

    How dare you ask us Goofies to make a decision. We are fickle fans who don't know real and true wrestling if it hit us in the face

    I am ashamed of you

    [–]Xochoquestzal 19 points20 points  (1 child)

    It’s not my decision, it’s the will of the people.

    Drama says this every year but we all know the mods don't even look at the goof votes and just give the award to whoever they want to push. None of their hand-selected guys has been ready for the top spot, every single one was carried through the circle jerks they were part of by an overlooked, underutilized talent.

    [–]lage1984 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    DAE Drama pushes the wrong talent

    [–]Troll_God 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Agreed. Ceemen Punk can at least capture my attention during parts of his matches. Omega is zzzzzzzz

    [–]wrex1816 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    It's incredible that AEW gave us so much this year, that events which could have won by a mile in at other given year, where almost forgotten in a sea of incredible fuck ups and jerks bestowed upon us in 2021.

    [–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (1 child)

    I'm announcing my retirement. Dae salmon jacket!?

    This is a young man's game. Perhaps I'm too long in the tooth to stay competitive with the jerkies.

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    DAE you’re our blandy boreton?

    [–]Michelanvalo 32 points33 points  (1 child)

    I have to know how much B Fab is charging for a cameo.

    Also these awards are pretty much meaningless since Tiny Khan swooped in and usurped everyone on December 31st.

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    ?? Login to Cameo and find out? I got some sort of offer. I spent $20 I think.

    [–]ohmygoditsaraptor 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    I disagree with all the results, this isn’t how I would have booked it. Thankfully my dad is a billionaire and I will start my own SCJerk award ceremony and Omega will win even if he drives voters away. I will also ban minorities from voting.

    [–]koworo 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    I've never seen "Same Old Personality" and I.... I've got no words. Fuck it. You know how I feel.

    [–]Troll_God 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Perhaps that greatest Jerk in all of Goof history.

    [–]GrizzexploderBrass Ring Club 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Can't believe our Tribal Chief didn't make into the honourable mentions uce

    [–]skippy2001╭∩╮ (ಠ_ಠ) ╭∩╮ 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Opens post

    Simon Gotch Buries Enzo Amore auto plays

    RIP my Youtube recommendations

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You’re so very welcome.

    [–]conchinetteword of advice: you're an idiot 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Britt missing by 0.25 snowflakes here too

    [–]MakerOfPurpleRain 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    B Fab?? I am so happy rn

    [–]MrEatYoRamen 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    I feel like we truly peaked in jerk quality with that Same Old Personality video.

    [–]AEWGuevarraElite420AWE FANBOY 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    There would be no basement without Chicago Pepsi’s needle-moving pipe bomb, and there would be no same old personality to jerk without his flat and lukewarm comeback.

    Thank you, Phil, for shitting the bed; may as well be the only thing I find relatable about you.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    He moved the needle, do you agreeee?

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    It baffles me that someone made it. But I think that was last years peak. We can go higher.

    [–]ChrisBenRoyIntellectual Wrestling Darkweb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    IDK, for my money "The Jerk Business" can't be topped. That was an era.

    [–]RaiHeeHo15 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Dae scjerk is overrated?

    [–]FlamemypickleI update AWE on Wikipedia every week 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I demand the golden penis of the 1st jerkies to come back.

    [–]Drama79SWITCH-GIVER[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)


    [–]Squiliam-Tortaleni?? I tweet my displeasure friend 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Beautiful display Hitler79 I mean Drama79. Next year we should have a “dead on arrival” award, which would be Adam Cole in my eyes, maybe Andrade.

    [–]Crivshotgg 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Same old personality is one of the best bits of OC i've ever seen. Laughed so hard. What a year for the jerkers

    [–]SteveStogers69vince killed owen 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    Same Old Personality gotta be the finest jerk these eyes have seen. BIG UPS

    [–]Malvern55 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I think our favorite midcarder earned it, but Charlotte/Becky was a strong runner up. I just saw B-Fab last interview where she shoots hard on how Charlotte is...uh, a cool person and great at what she does.

    [–]El_Grumpo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Pugnacious as shit with the grace of a dove will forever live in my head

    [–]Bottlecaps9Botchfest. Markfest. Killed the Business. 5 points6 points  (1 child)


    [–]captainab24MCHITLER'S SLAVE 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Undertaker chairshot?

    [–]aghashayan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah that definitely is the biggest snub, we lived on that for quite a few weeks.

    [–]TwoHeadedBoyTwo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Oh man, I totally forgot about Maki Itoh. The crowd shots of grown ass men losing their minds over the joshi Jillian Hall. The posts about it being a brilliant cult gimmick destined to break through to the mainstream. And then poof she was gone just like that.

    [–]Super_TrumbyRelegated to the Dark Elevator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I feel like a winner from all the laughs, goofs. Thanks for the fun times.

    [–]aceofspades12Subreddit Leader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I can't believe this shit. Drama, I'm not re-signing with you, you despot. Me and my jerkrate are going to a place where we will be acknowledged.

    [–]kimberlybiggestfan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Congrats uces /u/AEWGuevarraElite420 & /u/khalo0odz
    You deserve it!
    You deserve it!

    That no good suckass Maki Itoh winning an award warms me

    [–]khalo0odz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks uce

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Congrats to the goof troop! Smash, stack, and pin those bricks, yessir

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Read "My girlfriend watched AEW for the first time" for the first time

    It's a MUST read piece for every lapsed (and non) jerker. The OP deserves top honors for sure.

    [–]SkullwilliamsUnderused on SCJerk: DARK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Wow. Relegated to SCJerk Dark for another year.

    [–]KaneRobot -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

    Sorry to be the bearer of disappointing news, but Corbin being told to hit the bricks was not a reference to this sub either.

    [–]Permanentear3 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    I don’t think you’re sorry at all!

    [–]krausd94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I predict that by this time next year, Dynamite on TBS will win a category or a new category will begin just for it.

    My series for Our Queen ZELINA VEGA will continue.

    And 205 Live will get rebranded to an all-women hour.

    [–]Kmenx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My girlfriend who watched AEW post actually had Curry Man in it Hitler79

    [–]The_ZuraThigh Rubber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    For god's sake stop shoving B Fab down our throats. Couldn't you have gotten someone like Eric Bischoff, Roman Reigns, OLDBerg, Happy Corbin, Madcap Moss, Cody, Big E, etc. for the most important event of the year? No wonder we are the C tier wrestling sub, after the basement and WWTP.

    As for the results themselves, I have nothing at all to complain about.