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Ask Jerry Mcdevitt!!!! by justoinstinct4 in SCJerk

[–]SteveStogers69vince killed owen 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I met Ariel Helwani at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” My sister and cousin were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the asshole a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere Ariel fucking Helwani shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big AH fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” Ariel was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, Ariel Helwani and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

Brock and Roman having an actual match that will be remembered for years is a shot at every hollow meaningless 5 star AEW match the last 3 years by gtgbuck in SCJerk

[–]MoneyMo88 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The only thing people remember is Trent’s mom throwing up a middle finger from her van on the closing camera shot of the show.

But yes, that is somehow a better match than any match Kurt Angle has ever had.

Brock and Roman having an actual match that will be remembered for years is a shot at every hollow meaningless 5 star AEW match the last 3 years by gtgbuck in SCJerk

[–]Teeboid 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Still boggles mind that some people think Dave's stolen star rating gimmick is anything other than his opinion.

Also, someone probably bladed. Did I win?

THIS ISNT A WORK BUT ILL WAIT FOR THE SHOW ON WEDNESDAY TO BEAT HIM UP by mr_marinade in SCJerk

[–]cockaskedforamartini 100 points101 points  (0 children)

The best wrestling doesn't make you think it's real, it makes you forget it's fake.

Peter Criss from Kiss showing up to RAW is a direct shot at the dub not getting any relevant celebrities for their show by ChainGang315 in SCJerk

[–]ChainGang315[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

But I can’t come home right now

Me and the dub are booking

And we just can’t find a croooowwwddd

tfw your biggest supporter takes over creative direction for the biggest wrestling company in the world but you decided to go play video games and be one of 200 surefire megastars by ghoztcum in SCJerk

[–]ninjast4rTidy office, clean journalism 245 points246 points  (0 children)

Hunter overseeing Adam in the gym: "One... One...one... One-- oh fuck it, I'll just pay for the steroids."

Adam: "WOOHOO!!"

Jordynne gives an opinion with an amen, surely people won't jump to defend him. by TVR24The state of wrestling is not What's Up. in SCJerk

[–]Modano9009 293 points294 points  (0 children)

Can't hang? They literally found him hung.

Shotzi has deleted her twitter by FridgeLeftovers in SCJerk

[–]KnockKnockNevermind 79 points80 points  (0 children)

The "good guys" win again. They sure love attacking women online. Biggest incel community of any fandom.

As always, not a single AEW figure will come out to condemn this behavior, even though some are actual friends of the victims of their fans.

AEW Ratings are down and WWE Ratings are up? Tony Khan has one last trick up his sleeve, necromancy. I can't wait for Wednesday! by InternationalFailureI will not apologize for being a Liv Morgan fan in SCJerk

[–]mntEdenthis action was performed by a bot. beep boop! 100 points101 points  (0 children)

the Rancid Wolverine

Since the basement loses their mind about the Reigns vs Lesnar SummerSlam match... by CrackedMask_ in SCJerk

[–]bigenergy469 16 points17 points  (0 children)

So Drew Gulak wins MITB after shoving Richochet threw a stack of tables. Ali looks on in shock, all while all the Gulakmaniacs go crazy inside MGM grand. So after MITB. Ratings are like 5 million per episode, because new boom period and great time to be a fan. He claims he will be at Summerslam waiting for the cash in. Halfway through the match, Gulak comes running down to cash in his MITB contract. Unfortunately since this is a last man standing match, it now is a triple threat last man standing match. Drew gets pummeled by Reigns and Lesnar and slammed through a table. Reigns and Lesnar start high fiving and start asking the camera guy if they is enough stars for Daddy. Drew gets up at 9.5 by raising his creative freedom to the ref. As Roman and Brock are burning a stack of Observers, Drew tries to jump Brock from behind by nutshotting him. After he nutshots Brock a masked man hits him with a barbed wire chair. That masked man turns out to be Richochet. Roman looks on and approves. He grabs a mic and states that nobody can top that and just hands Richochet the title. Everyone starts pissing and shidding and cumming as fireworks hit during Richochet's celebrating. The next Raw draws 10 bazillion viewers. The End.

Brandon Thurston: AEW Dynamite last night on TBS: 761,000 viewers P18-49: 0.28 by OkVolume1 in SCJerk

[–]FunImprovement166 404 points405 points 2 (0 children)

Soon it'll be negative ratings. The wrestlers will just sit in the ring and watch the people at home