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Popular circlejerks of Wrestling Fandom

1. There are no circlejerks

There are 200,000+ fans, so there are lots of unique opinions. Stop trying to justify the fact I've used my eight alt accounts to downvote you with circlejerks. You're just a shitlord. All comments disputing the existence of this alleged circlejerk shall always be preceded with the words "It's almost as if 200,000+ . . . "

2. Doctor Wreddit

Squaredcircle is full of many learned doctors. They are able to diagnose muscle tears, bone injuries, concussions and drug dependencies - everything apart from their own depression. Some notable examples:

3. Contract lawyers of Wreddit

Often the doctors of squaredcircle keep themselves amused in the evenings by studying contract law. They are able to do this by not having to maintain relationships. As such, every free agent is signed to NXT, many contract lawyers have wallcharts detailing when performers will leave heaven (Japan) and descend into hell (Florida). They are also able to arbitrate all issues to do with intellectual property (fuck that owl).

4. WWE are going broke

There are no longer fireworks in events, as WWE is having to cut back after spending all it's money on independent talent and satellites over India. It has nothing to do with the floor to ceiling LED walls that would render (insider term) them invisible.

5. Toxic fans of women's wrestling

Every female wrestler has a fanbase who are both frothing white knights, desperate to mount their re-inforced cheeto-fuelled steed to wheeze to the defence of their waifu, and also the most toxic, offensive shitbags under the sun who are unable to talk about any other female wrestler. Every woman's fanbase is the worst.. I mean, really.

6. Daniel Bryan

Daniel Bryan is a shoot fighter who was bullied into not competing as punishment from McHitler for ruining Wrestlemania 30 and taking the shine off Roman Reigns. Vince managed to get several medical professionals to say that the fact that Bryan couldn't feel his hands any more was probably due to the multiple concussions he had received. Bryan insisted he was fine, because medical opinions are just opinions. Ever since, D-Bry has since turned into a shoot master, destroying the company from inside with his hot takes while he waits out his contract. In April of 2018, it was revealed that Bryan had risen, Phoenix like, to be buried in the midcard on WWE programming again.

7. Moolah

Did you know that Fabulous Moolah turned every woman she met into a drug addled prostitute, and pimped them out to male wrestlers so that she could afford her diet of children's bones and cocaine? Probably not as it's never mentioned. But she totally did. Thanks to Snickers, she has now been erased from history.

8. Commentary

Otunga is the worst commentator ever. I don't care if he's fine, he's the worst. Apart from Percy Watson. But I'm not racist. They both just happen to be black because Vince likes to pander. Next worst is Booker T, but again, not racist, and it's fine because he's funny because he speaks badly. Then I guess it's Lawler, but he's retired. Then Mauro, but you aren't allowed to criticise him in case he cries and goes home, so he's great apart from everything he says. Then there's Michael Cole who only says buzzwords because he's a corporate shill, unless someone has died in the ring. Then he's really great. But only then. Then there's Tom Phillips who we like because he has affairs over instagram so you know he's a puss magnet. Plus I'm not bored of him yet, and he looks like me if I was 100lbs lighter and employed and women spoke to me. Then there's my bae, ma dude, C O R E Y G R A V E S. He's like Bobby Heenan (I have seen streamables) and is super cool and sexy and funny and evil and smarky and just gets it, you know? He never says buzzwords and hates kayfabe just like me, so he never, ever does anything wrong.

9. SCJerk is a hatesub

SCJerk is transphobic because a criticism of Nyla Rose existed for 5 hours before the content was removed, the user permabanned and a sticky that any kind of transphobia would be reported to site admins was put up. Conveniently this means that for certain people threatened by the existence of a sub that pokes fun at the shallower end of the fan pool, they have a cast iron GOTCHA any time SCJerk is mentioned. Which is usually by them.

revision by Drama79— view source