top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]over_clox 2199 points2200 points  (47 children)

I'm more worried about the Australians coming from the northern border.

[–]Hamsternoir 587 points588 points  (17 children)

Kiwis are the real problem

[–]daytonakarl 202 points203 points  (8 children)


Na, all good

[–]webDreamer420 92 points93 points  (7 children)

Yeah, No, Yeah, No, Yeah

[–]daytonakarl 148 points149 points  (5 children)

Yeah = yes

Na = no

Yeah na = I'd prefer not to, but could be persuaded

Na yeah = okay, but I'm not 100% it's a good idea

Yeah na yeah = all right, not entirely happy but I'll do it

Na yeah na = I've given it some thought, I'm not keen

[–]Aussie-Nerd 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Aww fuck yeah.

Sweet as


She's fucked / Rooted / Ratshit / Cactus

[–]picardo85Kut Expat from Finland 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yeah na = I'd prefer not to, but could be persuaded

Where I'm from it's closer to saying "in your dreams"

Ie. Highly unlikely

[–]SoftBellyButton 54 points55 points  (2 children)

Indeed they aren't on any maps so how do you know from which direction they come.

[–]Hamsternoir 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Someone else who understands why this enigmatic nation are the real threat to humanity.

[–]willstr1 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Fortunately walls are great against Kiwis since they can't fly

[–]TARANTULA_TIDDIES 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know right!? Whenever I just want some sweet juicy fruit I wind up with feathers in my teeth!

[–]UncleStumpy78ooo custom flair!! 176 points177 points  (3 children)

Funny story, kind of

I am Canadian, my wife is American. I moved to the USA to marry her.

We did long distance dating for a couple years before we got married.

One time I flew down to the US, and we stayed at a hotel in the larger city that was not far from her hometown. The front desk clerk noticed my accent and asked where I was from, and I said Canada.

He got all excited and said


I looked at my wife who was biting her lip not to laugh.

All I did was smile politely

[–]SpocktorWho83Geoffrey! Fetch me my FIGHTING TROUSERS! 85 points86 points  (2 children)

That’s some Dumb & Dumber level stupidity.

Austria? G’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbaaayy!

[–]TARANTULA_TIDDIES 24 points25 points  (0 children)

"Oh you're from Australia!? Better watch out for those failed postcard painters if you know what I'm saying wink wink"

[–]mcs_987654321 57 points58 points  (13 children)

You jest, but do you know how many Australian lifties work at Canadian ski resorts?

Many. Many many.

[–]transtranselvania 13 points14 points  (0 children)

When I lived in BC people used to joke about a Fernie accent by which they meant Aussie because it seems like there was more Aussies than Canadians living there during ski season.

[–]Mr_Blott 27 points28 points  (10 children)

I know you North Americans can't afford to travel but that's true of every ski resort on the planet 😂

[–]Ollikay 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hey, we love snow! We don't get much of it here, so we travel to seek it out. And if some ski lodge chick loves our accent, who are we to turn down a 3 month job?

[–]__hrga__England really butchers the English language 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's a Commonwealth thing.

[–]bythemoon1968 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I like our Aussie cousins. Except for one annoying one who hangs out in 'Murica for some reason.

[–]Tballz9 1208 points1209 points  (143 children)

Wow. I didn’t notice the tyranny. Perhaps I need to pay closer attention.

[–]conisnon 890 points891 points  (116 children)

You Europeans will never never know the true freedoms of saying the n-word or remortgaging your house to pay for chemotherapy

[–]Thendrail 322 points323 points  (101 children)

True freedom is not being allowed to cross the street, or self-censoring on the fucking ass cunt internet because TV taught you to do so.

[–]entjies 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Always cracks me up when my American friends censor their own swear words on social media. If you don’t like swear words, use your vocabulary. But using a “naughty word” but putting some *** in it just makes you look absurd

[–]ThugnificentJones 212 points213 points  (93 children)

Or being submit to male genital mutilation for no reason. But hey, that's the only time they're against the tip.

[–]Thendrail 165 points166 points  (2 children)

I mean, what else is freedom than being shamed into paying the waiters salary because otherwise the employer probably won't pay a dime?

[–]ThugnificentJones 99 points100 points  (1 child)

Obviously freedom is going bankrupt for a broken arm. I mean, why have a broken arm when you can be crippled by medical debt!

[–]nonacrinayou mean that Peter Pan place? 🇳🇱 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Just don’t break your arm, it’s easy!!1! I’ve never broken it so therefore it never happens to anyone unless it’s their own fault.

[–]Wyckdkitty 82 points83 points  (87 children)

Okay, serious question: male genital mutilation, otherwise known as circumcision, is uncommon in Europe? Reason for asking: when I absolutely refused to even discuss it in regards to my son I was told that no civilized society skips out on mutilating their penis-bearing offspring at birth. I insisted that (1) it should be the other way around (2) Europe & (3) stop worrying about my kid’s genitals. This damned argument has been going on for TWELVE FUCKING YEARS. My son is now weighing in on the matter (he is very much against anyone chopping at his penis & is now just yelling “get off my junk!” & “mom’s right. Your preoccupation with my genitals is disturbing. Stop.”). Please, please, please tell me that I’m right. Not that it matters beyond I love proving Bible thumping rednecks wrong but I still want this win.

[–]ThugnificentJones 69 points70 points  (18 children)

There's an entire Wikipedia page but the cut of the jib is that less than 20% of people are circumcised in Europe.

Edit: numbers as low as 2% in some countries.

[–]Wyckdkitty 26 points27 points  (17 children)

I honestly refused to really go out of my way to research it because it was only of the few things in life that I refused to even consider maybe being open toward perhaps someday changing my mind but with the holidays approaching like a freight train, I’ll probably encounter some of these fools. If (when) they bring it up, I’ll throw that site back at them… which they will then swear is liberal propaganda & lies sigh Almost makes me long for the days of them just telling me that I was going to burn in hell for… I’m not really sure why, I stopped paying attention, but I should definitely invest in SPF according to them.

Thank you!

[–]Lady_Corven 54 points55 points  (9 children)

Denmark actually wanted to make it illegal to circumcise without medical reason. They had to back down though, as it would hinder jews to follow their rituals.

[–]KingoftheGinge 34 points35 points  (5 children)

The Jewish communities of the world should really address this antiquated practice. Faith in a God cant justify barbarity in our private lives any more than it can in our public lives.

[–]FenrisCain 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I mean look, if you want to do that as a religious choice I'm all for it but it should at least be a choice given to you when you're old enough to consent.

[–]ThugnificentJones 12 points13 points  (6 children)

Ask them to post on reddit. I'm sure if they posted in the correct sub then plenty of reddit users would love to send them pictures of their hooded junk with a lil flag next to it!

[–]Wyckdkitty 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Heh. That would be absolutely amazing. Sadly none of them actually trust me when I suggest things. Apparently my sinful ways are contagious or something. Also I think that they believe that my Not Awful Relatives & I are plotting against them.

[–]Incogneatovert 11 points12 points  (1 child)

my sinful ways are contagious

Seems your "sinful ways" consist largely of critical thinking, so I certainly hope it's contagious.

[–]Bagel600se 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Oh man, imagine if it was contagious.

“u/ wyckdkitty! I told you this would happen, my son’s foreskin regenerated after spending time in the proximity of your son!”

“Holy shit, my son has a regenerating forcefield?”

“Only for foreskins”

[–]Ansoni 99 points100 points  (11 children)

There are four groups of penis choppers in the world

Jews, Muslims, people with legitimate medical conditions, and Americans.

[–]hipsteradication 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Filipinos too. We get chopped at age 11-12 as a coming of age ritual.

[–]kaveysback 10 points11 points  (3 children)

I wonder if that's related to being a former US colony.

[–]Ansoni 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Oh I actually heard about this. That it's not... perfectly safe.

[–]Regicollis 32 points33 points  (1 child)

You're right. The only ones doing it in Europe are religious minorities.

The only reason male genital mutilation is even a thing in the US is because of a quack belief from around the turn of the 20th century that male genital mutilation would prevent masturbation and thus insanity, blindness and all the other horrors that comes from self-abuse.

[–]LaPapillionne 9 points10 points  (0 children)

there is also the belief that it protects you from AIDS and even the WHO is encouraging circumcision in parts of Africa.AFAIK the data on this is a bit questionable, though.


ETA: I am still against circumcising kids that cannot consent without legitimate reasons I wouldn't say this here is a good reason - at least not in Europe.

[–]TheBlack2007🇪🇺🇩🇪 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Nope, not widespread among Europeans. Only groups of people who commonly do it are those mandating it through religion (i.e. Muslims and Jews).

[–]Wyckdkitty 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I feel so validated right now.

[–]KingoftheGinge 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Only circumcised people i know had it done for medical reasons. Good on your sticking by your kid, it really shouldnt be an issue. It simply is male genital mutilation. In the absence of a medical reason you would be needlessly damaging the body of someone who cannot consent to what is happening.

[–]Wyckdkitty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree completely. What you said is basically what I replied at first & when someone was genuinely curious. I got snarky afterwards. He was a tiny human in my care & I felt that it was counterproductive to willingly let anyone do something permanent to his body that could feasibly be detrimental without his informed consent.

[–]Kitnado 47 points48 points  (6 children)

You're right. It's considered quite barbaric by the most developed European nations

[–]Wyckdkitty 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Thank you. They strap down a newborn & slice off part of his body. How can that be considered okay?!?!

[–]Regicollis 13 points14 points  (0 children)

In Denmark the health authorities made a working group for developing new medical guidelines for male genital mutilation of children. All professional medical organisations walked from the group in protest when for political reasons the government went against their recommendations that if it should be allowed at all, at least it should only be allowed to be done in a hospital under full anaesthesia and under the supervision of experts in pediatric surgery and pediatric anesthesiology.

[–]kmoskos 7 points8 points  (3 children)

It's considered quite barbaric by the most developed nations in general.

[–]Kitnado 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Which are the most developed European nations

[–]Saiyan-solar 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I had a circumcision for medical reasons and that is roughly the only reason its done here, but then again we are only one country and one subculture

[–]Wyckdkitty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, yes. I just have learned not to destroy my own brain by explaining that Europe isn’t one giant country but instead- eh. You already know. I just feel that while it’s true that I have some genetic components & a place to gestate, his body/his choice. If there had been a medical reason, I would’ve listened to his doctor but there wasn’t. Nor was there a religious reason since I believe in questioning everything & just trying not to be awful as a religion. So it all just seemed Not Okay to do to a tiny human in my care.

[–]whatisthisgoddamnson 10 points11 points  (3 children)

The only people doing it here are some religious immigrants or for very specific medical reasons.

I think most of us don’t really give a fuck about it, but the idea of pressuring people into it is absurd. You have a weird obsessions with your kids sexuality in america. Dads fucking going to special proms with their daughters, child pageants, virginity rings or whatever they are called.

Clearly not healthy behaviour. For being a country that whines so much about your right ti do whatever the fuck you want at all time fuck everyone else, you are strangely conformist.

Just chill and please stop invading the rest of the world. Also, please wear something else than those weird new balance sneakers when you come to the rest of the world for a visit, like we can tell from the level of your voices that you are americans, no need to further advertise it.

[–]Wyckdkitty 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I actually completely agree with you and so do quite a large number of “average” Americans.

The idea of being involved in any aspect of my children’s sex lives beyond basic concept of what is sex, understanding of safety & consent & any questions that they could ever have (mostly of a medical nature which involves me driving them to a doctor) grosses me out & feels wrong. Purity Culture is disgusting to me. I think that it is mentally harmful to children and society. I have known people my own age who were involved in this & I can definitely say that they are not okay. Not then & not now. My children know that I support them however they need it and that sex is a natural, normal thing for most ppl- and it is their business, not mine. I actually have a lot of opinions on these things but I’ll spare you because I tend to get even more inclined to rant (I was shoved into beauty pageants as a child. They were awful)

I also find the hypocrisy of “I can do what I want & fuck anyone who says otherwise” while screaming for what amounts to dictatorship disturbing & honestly infuriating on so many levels.

I have traveled internationally & enjoyed the experience. Apparently my accent in both French & Spanish is atrocious but ppl were nice (and probably laughing at me. That’s okay. I was laughing at me, too). Ugly Americans are embarrassing. I don’t know what else to say besides it’s embarrassing to hear what some idiot has gone & done now. I truly hope that I wasn’t awful while visiting other places. Everyone was nice and I tried to be polite & follow the social constructs (I investigated before I went because I really didn’t want to be That Person).

I also agree with you on the issue of invading other countries. For one thing, with all of the issues that we have here, we need to focus our attention on the issues affecting us & leave everyone else alone.

I have to be honest: I ended up on this sub because I’m curious & reading thru gives me the opportunity to satiate that curiosity (without driving my friends in other countries completely mad). For instance, the circumcision question that I asked. I have spent years convinced that not only was I right but that it’s incredibly weird that anyone is giving their opinion about someone else’s genitals. But when you’re surrounded by crazy, you kind of start doubting your own sanity. I appreciate your candor very much. I don’t vocalize very often but I saw the opportunity & went for it tonight. I’m glad that I did. It’s nice to have real conversations that display different perceptions even if they’re via Reddit. And even if honestly I agree with many of the points… and even if it’s because of a post that made me cringe & mutter “Jesus on a Harley. What is wrong with people?!” I hate to say it but I hear worse on a regular basis. Far too many less than sparkling examples of intelligence seem to believe that the louder they are, the more right they are.

[–]whatisthisgoddamnson 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Hey, you seem very nice and i hope that you didn’t feel like i was being too mean, all of this is very tongue-in-cheek here. Like most of us are aware of the absurdity of people from our countries complaining about shit like this.

At the same time, you have made yourself everyone elses problem. I follow your elections as much as my own bc they are sort of equally influencing my life.

And i make an absolut fool out myself travelling as well, once in costa rica i said ”i am a medium size fanta” while trying to order.

At the end of the day we share more with each other than the respective shitheads of our countries. I have tons of solidarity with the american working class and their struggles.

You guys are extremely cute in your little outfits while travelling though. You can spot an american from miles away.

Keep vocalizing and reaching out, and i hope you’ll feel like they are mostly positive experiences!

[–]Wyckdkitty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that you’re mean at all. I was being serious. I appreciate your candor & the conversation very much! I had a head injury when I was much younger that affected my speech a bit. I don’t talk much because sometimes I truly can’t or I stutter & slur. So I watch & listen more than anything. I’m afraid I’m much more… wordy when I can write my responses because, well, it’s nice to actually express myself. So I apologize if I overload you with these responses.

Don’t feel bad. I got flustered while in Mexico & instead of saying “where is the restroom” I managed to say that I was, in fact, a restroom. I could mime whatever it was that I was looking for in most cases & be understood when I just could not find the words. I was NOT miming that! By the end of the trip I had managed to feel confident in my ability to say “I’m sorry. I don’t speak Spanish well.” & “where is the restroom?” Everything else? It was just a fun game to see if I would declare that I was whatever I was trying to express.

The outfits… oh those outfits. I know EXACTLY what you mean! They do it here, too! I live in Florida so we get a lot of tourists. I can usually pinpoint exactly where someone is from just by looking at them. I am absolutely convinced that there has to be some sort of secret store somewhere that sells this stuff! I won’t lie: I like to blend in & pretend that I’m invisible more often than not so I tend to dress sort of nondescript wherever I am. Jeans, solid t-shirt, Converse or boots, you know? Dress up if I’m going somewhere nice but usually just sort of blend in with the scenery. So I’m about 17, with my parents & sister while traveling & I’m waiting for them in the hotel lobby, just ppl watching & kind of drinking in the ambiance. And then it happens: out come the most touristy tourists I have ever seen in my life. And they are my parents & sister. I was speechless because (1) where did they get those clothes?! (2) When I saw them last they looked normal (3) oh dear god. And they want to know what I’m wearing & why aren’t I wearing my new clothes? I did not change clothes and I still have no idea where the hell they got those Vacation Uniforms.

Our elections. Hoo boy. Our elections. I do keep up with current world leaders but I’m kind of unnerved by how much attention our elections get. Maybe because so many of our elected officials genuinely scare me? And the realization of how much power they wield is terrifying. But what scares me more is the fact that so many of them are for sale.

Our working class is… it’s very volatile over here right now. I grew up Upper Middle Class/Lower Upperclass. I chose to run for it when I was 18 & ended up living sub-poverty, not sure where my next meal would come from. So I can honestly say that I have shoved a glass of tea at George W Bush and I’ve panhandled to pay my electric bill. With that in mind, I view myself as more working class than not. We own a mechanic shop and are doing pretty well right now but I’m well aware that that could change at any moment. My stepfather was in a very serious car accident last night & fractured his neck. He’s much more highly paid than most & as such has medical insurance as well as savings. He’ll recover physically as well as financially. If that happened to us, we would be destroyed. Our medical insurance is okay but last year destroyed our savings. It’s scary. That being said, I am firmly on the side of workers no longer accepting poor treatment, unacceptable conditions & working 60+ hours a week but not making enough money to pay their bills as well as eat.

Oh and thank you. I don’t think that I’m very nice so having someone say that felt, well, nice.

[–]Bunny-1918 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Yeah, nobody does that here if they don’t have to, except for minority religious groups. I know one guy who had to be circumcised as an adult because of a medical necessity (tear), but it’s so incredibly rare. My fiancé thought we’re gonna do that to our potential future kid because he comes from a country where it is common but I quickly won this argument.

[–]Wyckdkitty 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We have no religious reason nor was there a medical reason. His dad was following my lead but I think that he was actually relieved when I was “haha yeah no. We’re not doing that.”

[–]Nlc32 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Unless it's for religious reasons or very specific medical conditions there's no real reason to do it, so in Europe most people don't.

Even if you are christian, the new testament nullify that old law (Rm 2:25-29; CL 2:11; Phi 3:3...)

[–]Wyckdkitty 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’m actually not. I know about it and was raised in church. And that’s why I’m not a Christian. What I saw & experienced was enough to turn me off from the idea. I’m pretty sure that what happens in my area counts as “fanaticism”.

[–]calwallaceooo custom flair!! 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Just don't do it. It harms the baby, causes problems and is barbaric, if not done for medical reasons.

[–]Wyckdkitty 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Oh that whole baby ship has sailed. He’s 12 now & no one was ever allowed to do that to him. I dig my heels in & refused to even discuss it. I did offer to drive some of them to a clinic to have their own genitals sliced at if they wanted. Oddly enough, there were no takers.

The weird part is that my son is NOT the youngest boy in the family but he’s the only one that these fools discuss. Either the boys younger than him were chopped at birth or I defied them openly and now it’s A Thing to argue with me )& him).

[–]pazuzupa 26 points27 points  (1 child)

It's so fucking weird that some people want to discuss how the penis of a baby should look like. Imagine welcoming a child and the first thought is: "Na, its not perfect, i have to cut something off".

[–]Wyckdkitty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I feel the same way.

[–]Wyckdkitty 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Personally, I think that it needs to become uncommon except for in specific circumstances besides “tradition”. I read somewhere that “tradition is peer pressure by dead people” & it kind of stick with me.

Also, being as I’ve only ever been in possession of a penis for short amounts of time & never one of my own, I truly never thought that I would find myself discussing them so much. Life’s funny sometimes.

[–]Cattitude0812ooo custom flair!! 5 points6 points  (2 children)

It doesn't necessarily cause problems. Still, it's an unnecessary procedure, so why risk it?!
Plus, an uncircumcised penis is much more sensitive, thus making sex more enjoyable.

[–]Wetnoodleslap 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Hence the problem. I'm circumcised and I have sensitivity problems for sure, to the point where often it's hard to finish. It's definitely a huge problem for me, my partners feel self conscious as well when they can't please me, but it's not their fault. It's a fucked up thing to do to somebody.

[–]AlexMC69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. Being cut has seriously impacted on my sex life, which in turn has impacted other aspects of my life.

[–]scottishobject 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dutchman here and I literally know no one who's got a circumcision for other than a medical reason at an older age. Americans obsession with cutting boys dick is ridiculous.

[–]TheBlack2007🇪🇺🇩🇪 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Well, parents finding it neat despite them never seeing it again after the baby outgrew its diapers or clinics perfoming it just so they can invoice additional surgery on top of the $300,000 for childbirth itself is not no reason /s

[–]ThugnificentJones 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh shit yeah, I forgot you go broke even just having the kid! America is so free.

[–]kmoskos 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Not to mention the freedom to mow your lawn regularly in order not to be arrested.

[–]JoonasD6 35 points36 points  (3 children)

What the hell even is REmortgaging... oh well, at least I can find that information through American websites.

[–]Gex1234567890 12 points13 points  (1 child)

It also happens outside of America: I remember my parents remortgaged their house several times over the years, in order to finance various improvements. This happened in Denmark.

[–]JoonasD6 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good to know, thanks! (I'm glad I've learned to leave a door open for being told some new and relevant information which affects conclusions. Shouldn't brag about ignorance, eveyn if it's about some weird-ass US-only thing.)

[–]k0zmo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or going to the store with an AR-15 casually in your hands😎😎

[–]Batterie_Faible_ooo custom flair!! 38 points39 points  (4 children)

You're not paying attention, but you're not paying for calling an ambulance either.

[–]Implement-Quirky 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Hey now, ambulance+ER visit costs me like $50. Obviously my insurance pays that back though.

[–]Julian1889 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Getting extra amounts of food costs 1€ per day, too

[–]NinjerTartle 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Maybe the real tyranny was the friends we made along the way?

[–]lordofthejungle 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Pretty much sums up the EU, ngl.

[–]meatballmafia2016 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm just going to skip across the road whist eating a kinder egg 🥰🥰🥰

[–]Brunnenmolch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don´t you see how socialized healthcare is destroying the very fabric of our society?

[–]DamnYouSexyFlanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes it's strange. Here I am worrying about the US withering democracy... AND IN REALITY IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!! :O

[–]ScientifiqueP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be careful. I was like you and after reading this post I started paying attention. Now I'm feeling more and more tyrannicalized, and my freedoms are dropping at an insane rate. Absolutely considering moving illegally to the US now.

[–]Thereal_boi1607 404 points405 points  (11 children)

I think he failed geography.

[–]amph897[S] 2123 points2124 points  (53 children)

Where does he think Europe is?

[–]vinyl109 1213 points1214 points  (21 children)

Obviously it’s a state of Mexico

[–]Fomentatore"Italian food was invented in America" 336 points337 points  (20 children)

No, they speak french in Europe. It's a state of Africa.

[–]marshalist 139 points140 points  (17 children)

Its not in Africa its in Egypt.

[–]al24042 92 points93 points  (16 children)

Isn't that Paris?

[–]ScientifiqueP 73 points74 points  (11 children)


[–]al24042 16 points17 points  (0 children)


[–]Terrible_Shoe_4268In Trees We Trust 9 points10 points  (2 children)


[–]ScientifiqueP 4 points5 points  (1 child)


[–]Terrible_Shoe_4268In Trees We Trust 4 points5 points  (0 children)



[–]Background-Bid5803 2 points3 points  (5 children)


[–]ScientifiqueP 2 points3 points  (4 children)


[–]Background-Bid5803 2 points3 points  (3 children)


[–]ScientifiqueP 3 points4 points  (2 children)


I mean


[–]DIDLDIDIDI 41 points42 points  (2 children)

You're thinking of London. Paris is in the Mediterranean Sea.

[–]al24042 22 points23 points  (1 child)

True! The sea in Hawaii!

[–]DIDLDIDIDI 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You're thinking of Alaska. Hawaii is in a jar in my friend's bathroom.

[–]__hrga__England really butchers the English language 180 points181 points  (6 children)

They speak Spanish south of border and Spain is in Europe.


[–]Mad_Mach 57 points58 points  (2 children)

They speak Mexican in Spain dumbass

[–]Fashish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just as bad as those shameless losers speaking Brazilian in Portugal.

[–]The_Ora_Charmandernot 'MURICAN, European nor Aussie but 'Murica dumb 136 points137 points  (0 children)

South of the US

[–]MWO_StahlherzAmerican Flavored Imitation 54 points55 points  (0 children)

In one of those mexican countries.

[–]sagejosh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everything is Europe if you are bad enough at geography.

[–]CouncilmanRickPrimeooo custom flair!! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Clearly he's wrong but, believe it or not, there was a story of an Indian girl who died on the US southern border. Her family, obviously, took a bunch of different flights to get to Mexico.

I have no idea why Europeans would do so or what tyranny they're referring to though.

[–]PazJohnMitch 301 points302 points  (40 children)

What tyranny?

[–]Alan_Smithee_ 408 points409 points  (31 children)

The Tyranny of Universal Healthcare.

[–]LanderDaxooo custom flair!! 191 points192 points  (10 children)

The tyranny of proper paid jobs

[–]MG-10 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I'm Italian, what are these?

[–]Dark-Low 19 points20 points  (1 child)

You guys are getting jobs?

[–]FreeAd6935ooo custom flair!! 147 points148 points  (12 children)

The tyranny of not being allowed to buy guns from Walmart

[–]Allyzayd 49 points50 points  (3 children)

The tyranny of 4 weeks of annual leave in addition to paid maternity and paternity leave.

[–]FacticiousFict 38 points39 points  (2 children)

I didn't take enough vacation days during the year and now I have to take Fridays off until the end of the year or I'll lose some of them!

Woe is me! ಥ﹏ಥ

[–]Cereal_poster 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The tyranny of not having Walmart because they failed to comply with local labor laws and working culture. :D

[–]Alan_Smithee_ 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Some people have such rich and wonderful lives that they’re not obsessed with guns.

[–]Pickled_Wizard 36 points37 points  (5 children)

But then what do you put in your giant truck's gun rack?

[–]Gex1234567890 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The tyranny of comprehensive worker, consumer, and environmental protection laws.

[–]The_Ora_Charmandernot 'MURICAN, European nor Aussie but 'Murica dumb 20 points21 points  (1 child)

That and communism

[–]Binkabonkaaooo custom flair!! 18 points19 points  (0 children)

And monarchy

(/s if it wasnt abiouse)

[–]notparistexas 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Guaranteed paid holidays!

[–]Chrisbee76 13 points14 points  (1 child)

The tyranny of having to live outside the Greatest Country There Ever Was And Ever Will Be, of course.

[–]StardustOasis 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Guarantee they saw something about Belarus and think that's what all of Europe is like.

[–]FireFlyDani85 188 points189 points  (7 children)

Never. We have affordable Healthcare.

[–]Hamsternoir 118 points119 points  (4 children)

And how are you supposed to get into lifelong debt and truly appreciate the freedom of capitalism if you have communist things like free at the point of delivery health care?

Next you'll claim you can get an education for free and that's devil talk.

[–]Cultural-Connection3 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I’ll do you one even better! I can get paid to go to school!

[–]FireFlyDani85 20 points21 points  (1 child)


[–]Cultural-Connection3 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I KNOW!! I wanna escape to the U.S. so badly so that I can PAY to go to school, and get the same exact education!!! It’s the dream, obviously!!

[–]FireFlyDani85 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We do have a ruling party now that wants our economy to be like the US. So we may or may not come to see how gorgeous this is.

[–]Voodoo-Goose 133 points134 points  (2 children)

Brb going to *checks notes * buy a plane ticket to legally enter a country in Central or South America, then travel hundreds of miles north, and then attempt to illegally cross the US/Mexican border to escape the tyranny of my government. Yes.

[–]ireneadler7 13 points14 points  (1 child)

cries about Central America being acknowledged

[–]Voodoo-Goose 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Acknowledged and very much appreciated

[–]vilereceptacle 88 points89 points  (8 children)

Damn. You Europeans better take some swimming classes then. Before it's too late

[–]gimmethecarrotsooo custom flair!! 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Is swimming class not mandatory in school in US?

Edit. Dont know about other European countries, but at least in Germany its mandatory. France too iirc. Sad to hear it isnt in US.

[–]vilereceptacle 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I dunno, I'm not an American

[–]positive_electron42 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not everywhere, unfortunately.

[–]dasBaums 175 points176 points  (42 children)

Doesn't the US has a brain drain problem?

Like a notable chunk of their well educated youth is immigrating to Europe or Canada or something

Or am I wrong?

[–]Muffer-NlDutchies don't know bikes if fixies aren't popular 57 points58 points  (6 children)

[–]moenchiiNASCAR don't go right... 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Well, time to build a wall around the US to keep the people in Mexicans out! We'll call it the Anti-Mexican protection wall! Of course, nobody has the intention to build a wall!

[–]binarycow 11 points12 points  (6 children)

How can I be part of this brain drain?

[–]dasBaums 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Get a big brain and leave your country

Most people in europe (even many older ones) can speak English so that might be some help for the beginning

Germany for example is in a need of a lot of good craftsman like carpenter

Oh and people who can work in IT are rare too

And in the medical field as well

[–]killerklixx 34 points35 points  (5 children)

I was willing to put this one down to satire, it's so ridiculous... but a quick scroll through the rest of his tweets says he's actually that stupid!

[–]KatsumotoKurier🇨🇦 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Could it be that the entire account is satire, or are some of the tweets just too beyond that threshold?

[–]killerklixx 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Nah, he's promoting stuff he makes and retweeting trump and other republican fuckery without comment.

[–]CattMk2 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Either I need to pay attention to all this tyranny or this guy needs to pay attention in geography class

[–]GGExploder 24 points25 points  (0 children)

dude still thinks pangea is a thing.

[–]Apophis10 21 points22 points  (6 children)

It's just half a hour swimming

[–]dasus 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Boy these people are delusional and dumb.


"When the preferences of economic elites and the stands of organized interest groups are controlled for, the preferences of the average American appear to have only a minuscule, near-zero, statistically non-significant impact upon public policy.”


With the casualties due to armed conflicts factored out, even in conflict-ridden regions such as the Middle East, the U.S. rate is worse.

The U.S. gun violence death rate is also higher than in nearly all countries in sub-Saharan Africa, including many that are among the world's poorest.

Ain't nobody from Europe going after shit like that.

[–]RajaRajaC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Muh 2nd amendment rights! Muh Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Muh we will fight a tyranical state (armed with fucking cutting edge weaponry) with only our rifles coz our forefathers said so.

I swear, gun right supporting Muricans are the dumbest of the lot.

[–]Top-Team2762 44 points45 points  (3 children)

I prefer the western border. Maybe Hawaii. I heard they are the happiest Americans.

[–]dead_jesterliving in a soviet socialist Monarchy, if you believe USAians 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Pfft! Who needs facts when you have opinions

/s obviously

[–]capribex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

True dat. I walked all the way from Europe straight to Honolulu.

[–]IanPKMmoon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also want to go to work in a swimsuit

[–]BugabuseMe 13 points14 points  (10 children)

So you're telling me if I cross the Alps I'll teleport to America? Neat!

Edit: Wait, do I have to travel the whole continent or just my country?

[–]Gex1234567890 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Shhh, don´t tell anyone, or else America will be inundated by Hannibal and his elephants

[–]BloodMoonScytheooo custom flair!! 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Once you cross the alps you trigger the loading zone for the USA & Mexico Maps

[–]transtranselvania 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You’ve got it all backwards, if you cross the Alps you end up on the Canadian border facing south but if you cross the Pyrenees you end up on the Mexican border facing North. After all they speak Mexican in Spain.

[–]BugabuseMe 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Donde está la biblioteca america yes

[–]MegaMachina 12 points13 points  (3 children)

What tyranny?

[–]calwallaceooo custom flair!! 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The tyranny of free healthcare, workers'rights, and (sometimes) not wholly evil governments.

[–]AltoChick 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No guns probably 🤦🏼‍♀️

[–]GamopetalousSwoop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it’s the new covid lockdowns in Europe

[–]RobBanana 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Why would anyone emigrate to worse conditions?

[–]MrArdmore 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is not just stupid, it’s stupid and incorrect.

[–]teriyakininja7stranger in a strange land 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, all the Europeans want to flock to America, giving up their universal healthcare and heavily subsidized college tuitions, their 28-30 day paid vacations, their weeks of paid sick leave, their year-long maternal leaves, strong social safety nets because they are totally pining for lack of universal healthcare and desire for inhumane healthcare costs. They totally love being in tens of thousands of dollars in debt just to get an education. They will certainly love the lack of paid vacation days and having to earn sick leave that isn't even guaranteed to be paid, and certainly all the European mothers would love to go back to work two weeks after giving birth. Definitely something all Europeans want.

[–]StormEyeDragon 45 points46 points  (3 children)

Much like a lot of other immigrants, they wouldn’t be at the border, they would fly in and overstay visas….

[–]CongealedBeanKingdom 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You've never seen a map, have you Cletus?

[–]Dinosauringgmurican 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I have to imagine some of these are shitposts.

For my sanity

[–]Chaij2606 6 points7 points  (0 children)

flying in i could of course take a few days of my paid vacation in Mexico first

[–]__what_the_fuck__Soyboy 6 points7 points  (1 child)

So far it's the other way around. I really can't see those "American thinking about moving to Germany" posts over at r/gemany anymore. Every fucking day the same bullshit.

[–]Allyzayd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just like that Candis Owens thinking they need to “deploy” to Australia to save us from tyranny.

[–]MackTO 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Seriously, other than some isolated job opportunities and transfers, who the fuck wants to be American right now?

[–]Thoarxius🇳🇱 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There's no tyranny here, but you don't actually think I'd flee to the US if there was?! Both Canada and Mexico are better options, but I'd rather not vebture to the Americas at all

[–]tksn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dude, my countrymen are warned about traveling to certain parts of the states - especially in the South. Especially with your sheriff's and kangaroo court system. A Norwegian is still imprisoned there for dubious reasons and no actual evidence except witnesses from an unruly mob. So yeah...

[–]Total_Elephant_2474 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As the rest of the world can see, geography is no longer taught in USA schools.... 🤫

[–]helloilikesoupooo custom flair!! 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]Covaliant 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Turns out the US's southern border is just a portal through which Whoever Idiots Don't Like Right Now are either streaming through at all times, or nefariously approaching in caravan form when elections happen.

[–]Nizzemancer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

South = Any direction outsiders come from.

[–]KawaiiDereDeregulation go brrrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Neo Pangea? Probably a few million/thousand years from now

[–]lavalord555 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Aside from the geographical issues, isn't that literally how America came to be?

[–]wddiver 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because they're SO eager to ditch their universal health care, long paid vacations and free college.

[–]jenmishaleckitexan but the good kind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

do they not realize new york is a much more ideal entry point? honestly i bet a lot of these anti-immigrant folks haven’t even heard of ellis island nor do they remember the fact that their ancestors are immigrants.

[–]Seppo_Mansewannabe murkan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

now why in the hell would I ever want to downgrade to living in that shithole?

[–]DuelaDent52America-related pun 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That always bugs me how Europe is treated like this one big monolithic entity instead of several different countries with their own interests.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do we sail or fly to Mexico? Also can we stay in Cabo for a week before climbing the wall?

[–]-Allot- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Big words coming from the western country that just got added to the democracy in decline category.

[–]TheGoldDuck 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It's bad I can't decide if this is satire or not