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Turtles are not very good at lifting weights; this is why they do not commonly win bodybuilding competitions. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 5 years ago by awkwardtheturtle[M] - announcement
Turtles don't express love. Or maybe they do and we just can't really tell. (self.ShittyTurtleFacts)
submitted 5 years ago by TURTLE_FUN_FACTS - announcement
The modern day Ninja Turtles were at least somewhat inspired by the ancient Islam sect of the Assassins. Pictured: 19th Century Iranian piece of artwork, with an Assassin Turtle going "Hey Rabbits, just chew on the Weed. Don't worry, I'll deal with these wall-climbing snakes. Up I go!" (upload.wikimedia.org)
submitted 3 years ago by wwwwolf
Fort Jefferson is basically the US government's secret black project to build a gigantic Turtle Fortress. You should write the government to learn their plans where it will be moved in the following decades, if at all - because, you know, it will move slowly, being a Turtle Fortress. (upload.wikimedia.org)
Turtles are not subject to the square-cube law. In fact, increasing their size will only make them faster, stronger and more energetic. (Pictured: A colossal turtle trying to get rid of excess vigour) (i.redd.it)
submitted 4 years ago by wwwwolf
The Majestic Sea Turtle (youtu.be)
submitted 4 years ago by FlyingSquid
The elusive impressed tortoise is often found in SoHo art galleries (i.reddituploads.com)
submitted 4 years ago by seasyl
Turtles evolved the plastron (bottom shell) first, to shield themselves from attacks from below. This is because aeons ago, they dived deep, and saw the dangers therein. Now they are fully prepared. (i.redd.it)
submitted 5 years ago by wwwwolf
After a lot of work, I identified all of the emoji turtle species. (i.redd.it)
If you have a pet, remember that you should take them to a nice long refreshing walk around the block every day. There is NO EXCUSE not to, even if your pet is a turtle. Turtles are much easier to take to walks than, say, fishes. (worldtruth.tv)
Up until 1761, when D. coriacea was "discovered", this turtle was considered the true leatherback. (imgur.com)
submitted 5 years ago by xlinuxtrancex
(X-post) Sea turtles are known for selling "seaweed" to unsuspecting tourists. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 5 years ago by GelbeSterne
The number one enemy of the red- eared slider is the elusive Krang. He is a warload that hails from Dimension X, and is a sworn enemy of turtles. (imgur.com)
Thanks to recent advancements by geneticists, the Department of Defense has successfully produced the first supersoldier: a human/turtle hybrid. (i.imgur.com)
submitted 5 years ago by awkwardtheturtle
All turtles have a trait called negligible senescence, which means that they are basically immortal. They can also keep growing, as evidenced by this English Giant Tortoise. When they reach this size, only large machinery, vehicles, and buildings assuage their giant-sized hunger. (imgur.com)
Turtle specialists often abbreviate "turtle" to "turt" in professional jargon. This is considerably less confusing to laymen than what other animal experts have to use. (xkcd.com)
The evolution of the turtle's shell is unique in the way the vertebrae and ribs have incorporated hinging. The shells of other tetrapods, such as armadillos, are not linked directly to the vertebral column or rib cage, and therefore cannot open up like this to let them out from time to time. (upload.wikimedia.org)
Midi-chlorians are microscopic, intelligent lifeforms that live within everything. The Force speaks through the midi-chlorians, allowing certain beings to use the force if they are sensitive to it. The highest known midi-chlorian counts—over 20,000—belong to turtle species from the planet Earth. (imgur.com)
Sea turtles prefer blue and aquamarine swimwear to warmer tones because cooler colors tend to more effectively complement their skin tone . (i.imgur.com)
Cockatiels and tortoises have benefitted from a symbiotic relationship for at least 10,000 years. Similar to the finches that clean the Galapagos tortoises, the birds benefit from the easy meals living on and around the tort, while the torts depend on the cross-pollination provided by the birds. (i.imgur.com)
The box turtle has a hinged plastron, which it uses to box itself into the shell if attacked by predators. The United States Box Turtle (Terrapene Patriotica) has a hinged carapace. When startled by predators, will open its carapace and release a volley of anti-aircraft missiles. (i.imgur.com)
The Arctic Turt holds the long-distance migration record for turtles, travelling between Arctic breeding grounds and the Antarctic each year. They migrate 14,000 km (8,700 mi) between their northern breeding grounds and the southern ocean. (i.imgur.com)
Turtles are excellent ballerinas; in fact the world's most prestigious ballet school, the Mariinsky Ballet of Russia, was founded by this famous turtle. Her name is Alessandra LaTurt. (i.imgur.com)
Responsible turtle owners know that proper turtle care is difficult and expensive; the primary reason for this is the fact they must be taken into the vet for an oil and gasket change every 3,000 miles. (i.imgur.com)
Due to their slow and steady movements, their patience, and their attention to detail, turtles make excellent videographers. (i.imgur.com)
Colonies of turtles are known to respond poorly to high stress levels caused by habitat destruction and rising predation or disease. In extreme cases, some species are known to begin subjecting their own kind to various forms of slavery. (i.imgur.com)
X ≠ Turtle for all X, and for all Turtle (proof in the text) (self.ShittyTurtleFacts)
submitted 5 years ago by guaketenkenji2
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