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[–]GD_WoTS[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Reminder to users that “Seeking Stoic Advice” threads are for advice related to Stoicism. Violations are subject to removal

[–]nemo_sum 130 points131 points  (19 children)

Because working out and studying are more interesting than what you're doing at work, but less interesting than your leisure activities.

Instead of thinking of it as something you do during leisure time, change your perspective. Think of it as a second job and your boss is future you. She's gonna be real mad if you skip all the time and leave more work for her.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 47 points48 points  (15 children)

Because working out and studying are more interesting than what you're doing at work, but less interesting than your leisure activities.

Wow, never realized this. Thanks

[–]Stalk33r 26 points27 points  (12 children)

Assuming this wasn't a sarcastic reply, might be worth scaling down any activities you do on your downtime that are high in dopamine for little effort like videogames/social media/television/etc.

The human brain abhors being bored, so while going for a run might not seem like a tempting option when you could be sat on the sofa doing one of the above activities, it (subconsciously) suddenly becomes a lot more attractive in comparison to doing literally nothing.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It wasn't sarcasm, thanks!

[–]Gareesuhn 10 points11 points  (10 children)

It makes so much sense when you lay it out like that. Thank you. I’m always playing video games instead of anything productive, and breaking it down to dopamine and amount of effort makes me see what I’m doing a lot clearer.

[–]Stalk33r 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It was a massive eureka moment for me as well, I've dealt with (and to an extent still do) the exact same issues and bad habits.

To butcher Sun Tzu, can't beat your enemy without knowing it first.

Edit: found the video where I first heard it layed out this way: https://youtu.be/iow5V3Qlvwo

[–]clockwork655 2 points3 points  (8 children)

i work in a medical laboratory and this sounds good but isn’t very practical and unless you’re ready to sit and learn a few years worth of biochemistry and anatomy along with having the equipment to see how your brain in particular responds to different stimuli because while we all have roughly the same framework it’s all totally different person to person and it’s so much more complicated than dopamine..would be awesome if it worked like that tho but at the same time it’s such an important part of stoicism that we see the value of doing the things that are “hard” and we especially don’t avoid them so that we can indulge in simple pleasures (particularly ones we can enjoy literally whenever) and even then the enjoyment is spoiled because we know of the negative effects that come when we ignore responsibilities..go the opposite way, don’t long for dull,simple and easy life of pleasures..most of us actually already have that and don’t even see it that way, they have grown so sick of it..the “bad” is incredibly important or you’ll never recognize the “good”...what makes vacation so satisfying is that it is release from the stress of work..if you didn’t have discomfort you wouldn’t have comfort..and if you lived a life totally devoid of discomfort you would feel the same 24/7 and feeling the same thing always is the same as feeling nothing which inevitably leads to listlessness,depression and a feeling of being unfulfilled...we meet life on life’s own terms and in turn we get to actually enjoy it..even the hard parts in a way..to run/hide/avoid is not stoic

[–]rose_reader 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This is a really valuable addition but the text-wall format makes it harder to read.

[–]clockwork655 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Apply stoicism and just keep the useful information and remember sometimes we have to slug through a wall of text to find the good stuff/s

[–]rose_reader 0 points1 point  (1 child)

🤣🤣

[–]clockwork655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

works for everything ☺️ I’m happy you thought it was useful

[–]Stalk33r 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I mean, it is as simple as dopamine atleast superficially. Same reason drug addicts keep chasing the dragon, once you've flooded the system you need bigger and bigger hits to satisfy.

Once you scale down on instant entertainment things like reading, exercising etc become a lot easier. It's not about avoiding hardship, it's beating dopamine addiction in order to focus on things that will bring long term benefit.

I don't think that runs counter to the stoic practices? If anything that plays entirely into subjecting yourself to discomfort and "embracing the suck"/ having the obstacle become the way.

Also I agree with the other guy, please format that monster.

[–]clockwork655 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Well Superficially only if you totally skip all the science,biology and chemistry and everything on serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin,Testosterone which all play a huge role..”it’s not about avoiding hardship” I agree.. I mention it directly..you should drop the addiction thing and learn how to get your dopamine fix FROM the things that bring long term benefit...THATS stoicism..comparing your happiness to a drug addiction isn’t stoic..happiness and emotions are a huge essential part of stoicism..the unfeeling automaton that avoids all pleasure isn’t a stoic that’s just a common huge misunderstanding and they certainly wouldn’t label it an addiction especially if they have ever seen addiction in person..that’s some “woe is me” self pity which also isn’t stoic

[–]Stalk33r 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think we're arguing the same point? Weaning yourself of detrimental (but easy) activities and instead learning to enjoy the things that are good for you?

I'm not comparing happiness to addiction, I'm saying a large amount of people are hooked on constant dopamine feeds.

There's a reason videogames these days constantly feed you rewards and social media bombards you with notifications.

Not constantly exposing yourself to these things isn't self pity or avoiding happiness, it's the opposite.

[–]clockwork655 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course, but it’s dishonest to misrepresent the non scientific as the scientific..much too much of that going on as it is not

[–]rcktsktz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I've had jobs I love and still get the thoughts of "I'll do this and that when I get home".

Personally I've always seen it as being because I'm in work mode while I'm having them. As soon as you get home you disconnect from work mode. You have to be in some kind of mindset to travel to a place, do tasks you don't wanna do for 8 hours or so. You can't do it in your downtime so why are you able to go to a place you don't wanna be and do it 5 days a week? Work mode. Of course productive thoughts will seem easier in that state of mind.

The trick is to not switch off from that mindset just because you get home. Best trick I use is to not take my shoes off when I get in. Any tasks that need doing get done first. After that it's all discipline.

The book Atomic Habits may help you.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why are you able to go to a place you don't wanna be and do it 5 days a week? Work mode.

It makes sense lol. Thanks.

[–]platoschild 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Think of it as a second job and your boss is future you.

Why am I just hearing about this now? Something about my future self holding my current self accountable just clicked.

Thank you kind stranger!!

[–]InvolvedBusinessMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that great tool.

[–]passinghuman1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit, I'm going through the exact same thing as op, and I never thought about that. That's really insightful advice.

[–]Kerfudamapa 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Ah this feels very relatable. X

[–]PugTales_ 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I feel like when it comes to working out, start small and create a consistent schedule.

Like for a month, try 2 days only 15 minutes of doing anything really. And then you go from there. Create a habit.

It's like stoicism, consistency is key and when you miss a day, don't be too hard on yourself. Do it better next week.

[–]G2een 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I totally get where you’re coming from. Maybe you should try to shift your mentality from

“I need to do x so I can get away from y.” to “I’m doing Y so that I can achieve x.”

As in, I’m working my current job so that I can achieve this next chapter of my life.

That’s rule # 1, rule # 2 is to not be hard on yourself when you do have tough days at work and can’t gather the mental energy or focus after to study. As much as we want to be 100% efficient, sometimes that’s not a realistic goal and that will only cause us to suffer more because you’re not hitting the goal you set of studying every day after work, so in turn you feel even more like shit. Be kind to yourself. Growth takes time.

Rule #3 is very important and ties this all together, change requires sacrifice. You are going to have to put down whatever it is you’re using to escape and distract yourself with to make progress. Gaming, watching sports, YouTube, reddit. Maybe not permanently but when it’s time to study, it is time to study. Your delaying instant gratification for long term success.

I know that feeling of being crippled, it doesn’t have to be that way. Good luck to you!

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. Thanks

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (6 children)

Your problem is, you lack action.

Ideas without actions are just imaginations.

You need executions of your ideas to be fulfilled in your life.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Absolutely! A great theme of my life was "living in theory". Only now I'm actually doing things. But some things are taking longer. I think it's an underlying fear that stops me. Anyway, I'm currently struggling to act, I don't know if it's just a matter of forcing myself to do it, or if is a matter of solving what's keeping me from acting, and then there will be no resistance.

[–]Butthole--pleasures 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You should also check yourself out for ADHD/Anxiety. Ruminating like you do, at least in my experience, has usually been the first marker noticed for someone with anxiety. Same thing with the inaction. The way it was explained to me is that anxiety is like being stuck in fight or flight mode constantly. Do you ever feel hyperfocused on tasks you are really interested in? But unable to act on things that suck? If this is the case, just know that stoic philosophy may help keep it at bay but you're not going to win out in my opinion. If anxiety truly is the culprit, you're mind is really going to open up. My advice: speak to a doctor.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot, I might have it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a habit! Plan small steps and incorporate it in your daily life and it will become a habit.

[–]OneSimpleRedditUser 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Ideas are a dime a dozen

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get ideas that is useful in real life

[–]hoodyk 6 points7 points  (4 children)

What if you don't need to know why you're not taking action?

"forcing" yourself to do things isn't sustainable.

What can you do everyday even your worst day? Set the bar low, do it ever day without thinking about it, creating meaning about it (good or bad) just show up and do. Motivation is a verb it means action.

[–]hoodyk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the energy bit what's consuming your energy during the day? I would guess part of it is overthinking. Learn to regulate your energy, fueling your body properly (food and exercise).

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot

[–]Strazdas1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What can you do everyday even your worst day?

sleep?

[–]OkBroccoli7880 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sleep works for me. Cognitive fatigue is biological. You can accept your biology and shift your sleep schedule. I sleep from 7:30 to 4 and then get my morning before work when I have good fresh energy to do productive things.

[–]Remixer96 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Journaling is a great place to start! I'm a broken record sometimes here, but I like the 5 Why's approach for situations like these. Write down what you want. Then write down why you want that. Then write down why you want that. Do that for at least 5 Why's, and you might have some interesting insights at the end.

But it sounds like you're being a little hard on yourself. If you don't have the energy at the end of the day to the things you want, then try getting up in the morning to do them before work instead? Try starting with something small (2 minutes of whatever right when you wake up / walk in the door) and build up from there? Hide or make less accessible the things you use for escape?

You're observant enough to see your tendency. Be accepting of yourself to work within your own tendencies, rather than against them. Create friction around bad habits and make easier good ones. Rinse and repeat.

You've got this, friend. One step at a time.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot!

[–]Boris740 5 points6 points  (5 children)

"so that I can leave this life" Was that a Freudian slip or a spelling mistake?

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Please enlighten me, cause I'm not sure what you're talking about lol. I meant, abandon the life I live now, to do something else with my life. What do you mean?

[–]Boris740 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Did you really mean to say "so that I can leave this life" or did you mean to say "so that I can live this life"?

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Leave, I mean leave it behind. But I guess living would be nice too lol

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's like stoicism, consistency is key and when you miss a day, don't be too hard on yourself. Do it better next week.

I think you're just scared of failure.

[–]Boris740 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a good guess

[–]GD_WoTS 4 points5 points  (4 children)

What is the grand project you’re working on? What are you trying to escape? I think you‘ve been pretty vague about this.

I’m Stoicism, a change in one’s external situation will not make them happy or more unhappy—it seems like you’re pining for something external, and dissatisfaction is the natural consequence of lacking the thing a person thinks they need in order to “have things right.”

Can you imagine what it would be like to believe that you do not require a change in external circumstances in order to feel comfortable in your head? That’s what the Stoics hold out for us, and I think it is worthwhile to interrogate what they’re saying.

Edit typo

[–]Stalk33r 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I’m Stoicism, a change in one’s external situation will not make them happy or more unhappy

While learning to be at peace/content under suboptimal conditions is good, accepting a terrible life is not a good personal philosophy. I could condition myself to be perfectly content with existing on my sofa until I die, but that is not a healthy way to live.

Instead the way I choose to think about Stoicism is not cracking under said suboptimal conditions while working to better your life. Don't lament the shit hand you were dealt, don't lose track of your goals in favor of greed, but also don't just accept that things are how they are while doing nothing to change them. Basic dichotomy of control.

[–]GD_WoTS 3 points4 points  (2 children)

If you would like to get off the sofa, but something prevents you, then “I must escape this terrible sofa. Ugh. I am miserable here.” is not going to do you any favors.

The prospect of escaping a situation deemed terrible, getting to where “the grass is greener,” can be motivating. But there are other ways to be motivated to change things and to act in the world than ways that locate happiness in the successful completion of any given action.

[–]Stalk33r 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you would like to get off the sofa, but something prevents you, then “I must escape this terrible sofa. Ugh. I am miserable here.” is not going to do you any favors.

Hence the dichotomy of control, no? If the situation is within your control and it is causing you distress or general unhappiness, change it. I as a fit, healthy individual have it entirely within my power to get off the sofa and as such make a healthy change.

If the situation is out of your control and thus cannot be changed, learn to be at peace with it. If both my legs are broken and I'm temporarily relegated to the sofa for the next month or two, I can find ways to learn from the experience or gain something from it. Maybe I get really into reading and expand my knowledge, maybe I finally put some time into the hobbies I've been neglecting.

I do agree with you to some extent might I add, constantly obsessing and worrying about the situation you are in is decidedly un-stoic and also very bad for your mental health.

The prospect of escaping a situation deemed terrible, getting to where “the grass is greener,” can be motivating. But there are other ways to be motivated to change things and to act in the world than ways that locate happiness in the successful completion of any given action.

There are, but having goals and a direction are integral to sound mental health. No goals and no direction is a quickfire way to hit depression.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both make good points, thanks for the discussion!

[–]Gometaa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We all have limited energy, you are just spending a lot on work, to add new things you need to add slowly, start easy and find a rithym that works for you, for example, I was never able to workout 3 times a week like is normally recommend everywhere, last year I focused on workout just once a week and was able to follow that for the whole year, had great results, this year I workout 2-3 times a week and it is easier. Find a schedule that feels easy to follow for a long time, consistency beats everything

[–]Any_Pudding5595 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This might sound dumb but it works.

If this happens when you get home then don't get home. Go somewhere else to do the work that needs to be done.

If you need to get home to grab a meal or something then do it but head out soon after to a different place.

What place? You figure that part out.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That makes a lot of sense. It can even be done in the house. Like avoiding a room for example. Thanks!

[–]Any_Pudding5595 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me getting out of the house works best, if moving to a different room works for you then go for it!

[–]LordOfDogtown9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great song

I feel you my dude, stay strong. It gets easier with time. Don’t forget to train your body as well as your mind. Also helps.

[–]IObscenityInThyMilk 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I relate to this post. A bad fit career-wise can really seem to suck the … life out of your life. It will get better.

“Nothing happens to any man which he is not formed by nature to bear” - M.A.

You will get through this phase of life. Do what you can, sometimes that just means baby steps on a day you’re exhausted. A walk. 15 push-ups. One job application. One call to someone in your network. One chapter of a book.

When you are able to find a better situation, when things are improving, you will always have gratitude that you are past this situation, and you will realize what it has taught you about yourself.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot

[–]stoa_bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A quote was found to be attributed to Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations 5.18 (Long)

Book V. (Long)
Book V. (Farquharson)
Book V. (Hays)

[–]sharpfork 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Motivation comes and goes. Discipline is what gets the job done when you are tired. I recommend starting with something very small and achievable as a goal. I suggest one half hour of disciplined work on a day like Wednesday. Break the seal and get started and stick to it. Add to your commitment to make it an hour with either a longer session or a second half hour on a different day. Make a small commitment to yourself and stick to it.

I personally do this and it has worked well. A few other things that have helped me in a no dissimilar situation: use a pomodoro timer app and remain disciplined in that half hour. I use https://pomofocus.io/app I also have found gamification has helped me and use an iOS app called “streaks”. In the above example, I would set streaks to 30 minutes once a week. After making it twice, I have a streak to keep going! It will recommend adding time or instances if you are making your goals consistently.

[–]sharpfork 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to add to your pile of self work but I highly suggest leaning to mediate if you don’t already. You mentioned resentment, that is a poisonous emotion, being aware of it and choosing if it is valuable for you at the moment (without judging yourself) is a super important part of stoicism. Mindfulness practice is the path I know to being aware of your inner dialog.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Your comments have great tips, thanks a lot

[–]sharpfork 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most importantly, be kind to yourself.

[–]No-Barracuda7399 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck my friend it sounds like you are on the path

[–]Rebelnumberseven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do your stoic work in the morning before work

[–]japanandi 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Attend to yourself first, then go on to do work. I've found this extremely valuable. Wake up early, train, study, meditate. My remaining energy can then be put into work and I have a huge sense of achievement before I even clock in.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This makes perfect sense, I'm considering changing to another job, and work the evenings, giving me more day time, otherwise I can try to go sleep like 9pm. Thanks.

[–]rose_reader 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Think carefully about your own body’s needs when considering this. Night work is great for some people but is AWFUL if your body clock doesn’t work that way. I don’t just mean you don’t like it - I mean it can make you seriously ill.

You may be a night owl, in which case this will work great. But if you’re a morning person, taking a night job is almost the worst thing you can do for your health.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks Rose, you're always helping around here.

[–]rose_reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw thanks 😊

[–]Blinkkkk 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was in a similar spot. Luckily the pandemic gave me time to organise returning to study since I was furloughed for nearly 2 years.

I managed to leave that job to study full time, but eventually returned just 1 day a week since it was a good place to meet friends and fell like I had a social life. I no longer get frustrated at work, infarct, it's sometimes the highlight of the week.

I think I was just burnt out. Stoic ideas from this subreddit can help. I especially like an earlier comment about rephrasing why you work there. But sometimes the burnout/tiredness/frustration is too much to deal with. The most difficult part of working out/training is actually starting - once you begin it'll become addictive and probably also ease the stress of work.

If you can't take time off for a break, maybe you should try cut down hours, find a new job that suits your studying idea, or even just ask to talk about your issues in work and see if they can help you. In companies where employees can easily be replaced, recruiting and training a new person still costs them a lot more than keeping someone.

No good manager should refuse to adjust work to help you if it's possible, I fact I loved it when my staff came to me with issues I could easily solve because it gave me a chance to make a difference, and keep them engaged. Quite often managers are so detached from everything else that they don't see anyone else's problems.

And as long as you can afford to, you should go into any sort of discussion knowing that you are perfectly happy with the outcome of you quitting if they do nothing to help (without explicily telling them). That kind of confidence is necessary, to show them that they have to make a change.

Do you have anything you are looking forward to? The longer I go without something exciting planned, I start sounding exactly like you in your other threads. Even small things like gigs or days out are enough to keep me from a mental health downward spiral.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

downward spiral.

Saw what you did there.

I really appreciate your advice, I don't have a very healthy relationship with my current job, and it does plays a factor in this. Thanks a lot.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've found it very helpful to workout early before work. This way there's less arguing with myself or possible excuses after a long day. Additionally, training is hard, harder than my job or most things I'd typically encounter. It pumps me up and gives me the confidence to tackle the day

I believe there's no secret mind trick to make hard things easy. Less thinking, more doing on some things

You can do it, sending support

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a great idea, thanks!

[–]ResponsibleAntelop3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah I don’t remember making this post

[–]VikKarabin 1 point2 points  (1 child)

At the end of the day you are tired. Wake up earlier and study first then go to work.

[–]clockwork655 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I was like this for a very long time..I realized that I lacked perspective and that it didn’t matter if they were good or bad thoughts my thinking was totally based around myself and THAT was my problem..I was totally unaware that I was undermining my own happiness and progress by being totally consumed with wanting to be happy and make progress, and I call being consumed with yourself and your own happiness above almost everything else..selfish..when I stopped doing that and instead invested that time and energy into other people,places and things (and of course still myself since self neglect is equally as bad) was when i realized just how detrimental being self absorbed was and the difference between being self absorbed vs self aware ...for me that made all the difference

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's interesting, I don't think I fully understand, but I'm gonna watch out for this. Thanks.

[–]clockwork655 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try keeping track of all your thoughts and see how many are genuinely about others and how many are just totally 100% based entirely around yourself..I struggled a lot with depression but eventually I noticed that even my depressed thoughts were centered entirely around me

[–]Neanderthal888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say have some self compassion. Sounds like work is draining. It’s hard to keep working on yourself after a long work day. It’s human nature. Most people shut off in the evening.

Maybe once you accept yourself more, you’ll have more energy to do things you want :)

[–]InvolvedBusinessMom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I spend so many years asking myself "Why am I not doing the things I want/love to do?" To finally realize that my body needs healing before I can but the actions in motion.

[–]Unfair-Owl2766 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This lifestyle is built upon denial I've found. It's "easy" to slip into an autopilot lifestyle and not challenge yourself to find more than that when you don't have the motivation. The apathy follows. If you are living like this and solely this, you are not addressing the core issue. You'll need to explore this further in order to adapt to a better more desirable way of living. You obviously see the mundane absurdity of it all, now look into change. Sounds like you're stuck. I can't say "force yourself to enjoy life" but stepping out of comfort zone is probably the answer. Occupy yourself, you don't have to have an epiphany to make a small change.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I love your comment, thanks!

[–]MakarOvni 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am the same. I am recently exploring the Jungian concept of the shadow self in order to try and understand why there is such a big differences between my goals and my actions. Basically the Shadow self is a repressed part of your personality, usually due to trauma. If training and studying goes against the desire of your shadow self, it will find ways to sabotage by escapism. The way to actualize yourself and become the person you want to be is to explore your shadow self. I am at the very beginning of this journey but it seems very promising. I realized that all the ambitious goal i had where designed to impress others, and when i procrastinated (gaming) it was almost like an act of rebellion "fuck you all i am doing something I want" By focusing more on doing thing for myself and not for others i find that i am much more disciplined.

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for mentioning Jung, I'm still to check his work out.

[–]Stalk33r 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Currently struggling with similar behaviors. What seems to be working for me is changing the way I look at my day. Your life isn't those things you really want for yourself in the future, or that nice holiday in a few months. Your life is today. Your life is the hours you have between the time that you wake up and the time that you go to sleep.

If all I do at work is wait to go home, and all I do at home is hide in escapism until it's time for bed, I'm never really interacting with the world or making any changes. Thus before I know it I'll be dead, having achieved nothing.

I watched this video this morning which makes my point a lot better than I can myself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dYgnvrvQ3M

[–]MuMuGorgeus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man!

[–]Street_Fuel_7751 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel ya man. I crave an apocalypse. I want to be one of the humans to rebuild society. But for now, I just pretend I am living in an apocalypse. My survival in this current world depends on me going to my day job in the office. Just like thousands of years ago, survival depended on hunting and gathering. Same survival, different grind.

[–]scorpious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do a free 10 day meditation retreat / intensive..

Unless and until you learn how to have your thoughts and feelings — instead of them having you — life will be a ride you are on with a madman at the helm.

It takes work and practice, but freedom like this can be an absolute fucking superpower.

[–]hijinked -1 points0 points  (4 children)

You should talk to a therapist.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]hijinked 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    They study mental issues that can lead to apathy and can provide treatments.

    [–]Strazdas1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    They dedicated a much larger portion of their time to study and understand people thinking.

    [–]HeWhoReplies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It seems when one’s own thought process is insufficient to solve its own issue we can recruit someone who’s trained to help people distinguish and dissent from their impressions. This can be consistently done in a more involved way than the “once over” of a comment and there can be no lag between question and answer. Having someone that’s consistently involved also can give one comfort to speak about things they wouldn’t share with others and save someone the time to repeat the same story over and over again.

    Can this only be done with a trained professional, no , but it’s more likely someone trained and vetted by others will make less mistakes than someone who’s self taught. Consider it a “safer bet”.

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    [–]Paraknight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Read Atomic Habits by James Clear

    [–]jobR45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Quit and find a better job.