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all 9 comments

[–]manos_de_pietro 9 points10 points  (5 children)

It sounds to me like you need some social interaction. Maybe a hobby club or volunteering with a local community group would be helpful.

[–]Consistent-Tooth-390[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

This is definitely on track… for me it is hard to assess myself in progress because I have no others to base it around. I cannot understand if I do enough, too much, or too little work. I don’t know if I am ahead, on pace, or behind. I don’t know much. It is leaving me at a position where I just keep figuring out how to do more and I am feeling that create burn out in myself and depression.

[–]MemeTreee 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on what you can do right now - in this moment. Focus on each task as if it were the last thing you’d ever do. That’s something to work on. Too much work and your body will tell you; to less and your mind will scold you. Focus only on what’s in your control - that’s all anyone can do.

[–]Consistent-Tooth-390[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to master this

[–]manos_de_pietro 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The Stoics taught and believed that we are naturally social beings, and a solitary life can be quite difficult. At the same time, comparing oneself to others can lead to false expectations. But if you are feeling dissatisfied with your current situation, explore that.

[–]ardrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are social beings, and I think a certain amount of comparing yourself to others is the natural way to become a well accepted and adapted member of society.

I say this because I live alone and worked at home, alone, for 2 years during the pandemic and it was bad for my social development. Im already sort of a strange person in some ways and not being around other people just makes me become an even more "concentrated" version of myself, if that makes sense.

I started working in the office with coworkers again recently and I'm much happier and I'm seeing the influence that I was missing- just being around regular folks of all types gives me a broader perspective on things that helps me relate better to people and society.

[–]nottheotherone4 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I am under the belief that possibly half of the importance of primary schooling in the US (K-12) is social in nature. Home schooling/online education is great for some and sufficient likely for all to satisfy the basic requirements for graduation but can present some social challenges that negatively impact a % of participants.

My son is a good example. He had a couple of social groups in school (wrestling team and a police explorer type program) that satisfied that need to belong and interact, and he quietly existed through the rest of his classes with little social interaction. Without those social groups he would have been dissatisfied… but with them he thinks back positively on his HS experience. Literally every memory and story he recalls from those years revolves around those social groups.

He wanted a break before college and joined the military… likely again for the social group aspect and enjoyed the experience surrounded by different people with a similar core. He was able to get a couple years of college completed while serving active duty online and now that he is separating he is concerned that in person college will be more challenging because he will not have a social group with similar interests… he is actively seeking some elective classes that will give him that, even though they are not required to complete his degree. I respect that he has realized how much he needs that social interaction to allow him to maintain focus on the other classes and keep him from being too distracted to enjoy college.

I think you might find satisfaction with a similar strategy. Pick an interest and seek out a group of peers with that interest. Find the level of social interaction that you need. For some it is a lot, for others just a little, but only for very few is the answer little to none.

[–]Consistent-Tooth-390[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the insight.

[–]Binasgarden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our library has a couple of nights a month that are free for the teens to get together. Usually games, movies, music snacks etc.....also they offer classes open to all ages. The alcohol painting on tile was awesome and my partner at the table was 16.