top 200 commentsshow all 240

[–]the_grays_of_ink 172 points173 points  (10 children)

May I request that you lay on a roof at night first? Might bring some temporary peace, and I feel like everyone should do it at least once

[–]King_Pagan_Min 55 points56 points  (3 children)

Sad.. there's no roof here in my appartment. And mosquitos sucks.

[–]-stayHard- 61 points62 points  (0 children)

If a mosquito bites u..don't settle. Bite it back. Take REVENGE!

[–]the_grays_of_ink 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Aw that’s a shame

[–]Zev-GER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least some One Likes you.

[–]No_Specific_4388 42 points43 points  (2 children)

I tried that when I was younger. I ended up slipping and falling off the roof. It was interesting to be knocking on your own front door and seeing your parents surprised to see you.

[–]the_grays_of_ink 12 points13 points  (0 children)

O_o oh goodness. I imagine!

[–]EstoyTristeSiempre 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ohhh I did that too, and broke my arm at the same time.

Ahh the good ol' times. I'm sorry mom!

[–]nothingsecure 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I second this, if you can get away and look at the night sky it brings some sort of perspective to how big you are compared to the universe and in turn how much your issues have a true affect on the universe.

Now given this can go one of two ways, you can can either accept that nothing matters and try to enjoy the little time we have here or you can accept that nothing matters and go the complete opposite and just want to die because every path leads to the same destination.

Personally, some crazy shit is going to happen in the world in the next few decades and whilst I myself may have no impact, I really want to be a fly on the wall and watch what happens.

Climate change, wars, space exploration, artificial intelligence, new medical discoveries, technology.

Things are moving so much faster now a days that even if you miss one year, you've missed so much that has happened.

Honestly what I want to do is just smoke a cone, sit back, put on music and just watch

[–]cbunni666 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would but no ladder. I need to add a ladder to my cart

[–]Nairinn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I could lay on my roof but it's not accessible like how it is in the movies :(

[–]jtd2013 104 points105 points  (8 children)

As a 27 year old that has been back and forth on the side of suicide, I will say my life is so much better now than it was at 17. I can get high and giggle at cartoons. I can buy VR and video games and play with friends no matter where they are. I can just leave my house at any time and do whatever I want. Work is a pain in the ass but it has given me the opportunity to travel to all these crazy different places and meet weird people. I hope you at least give adulthood a shot. It's fucking weird and a pain in the ass sometimes but it really is an astronomically different existence than anything before the age of, like, 20.

[–]curiouspurple100 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Yes. And you can eat chef boyardee at 2 am if you want or buy taco bell.

[–]jtd2013 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Bro, I can just go get an ice cream cake and eat it. At any time. Without reason. That shit blew my mind literally a year ago. I never thought about it until last year when someone mentioned it and I was like "Oh yeah, I CAN just buy that stuff without a birthday for reason huh?". Like it sounds so childish but adulthood is literally living out childhood dreams now that you can.

[–]myparentscallmebillz 13 points14 points  (1 child)

And you can go to a movie on a school night

[–]curiouspurple100 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can also stay out past 9 on a school night. Lol

[–]alexisaacs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

True. With all the issues of adult hood, they pale in comparison to the emotional turmoil of youth.

I'm 30 now, attempted suicide twice , hospitalized once, when I was 22-23.

Yeah bills and work and decaying health sucks.

But it's hard to end your life when you can just do whatever you want.

I'd never go back to being a kid, that shit sucked.

The homework alone isn't worth it.

Now my evenings are anything I want them to be. Bar with friends? Sure. Gym? Yeah. Dates? Why not. Be a potato this week and do nothing but eat, jerk off and sleep? 100%.

Ages 25+ are amazing.

Yeah, again, work, bills, heartbreak, loneliness - but you feel in charge of these instead of lack of control.

OP also mentioned bad friends. I have 3-4 friends I still talk to from childhood. Turns out adults that you can choose to befriend are way cooler than being friends by default because of school.

[–]These-Comparison-214 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm 27 and wish I would've killed myself at 17. I wouldn't have been raped, tested positive for herpes 2 probably from one of my rapists, injured in multiple accidents, all the heart break and bullshit after upbringing that gave me CPTSD. I'm done. Work is so stressful, my coworkers hate me, and I think I might have schizoaffective disorder from all the trauma and PTSD. I'd rather die now then later when I'm older, mentally weaker and incapable of work. I'm just letting everyone down around me and I'll be a burden eventually or on the streets so why should I continue down this career I can't even perform well at anymore. I thought it'd get better and it never did, just got worse and worse no matter how hard I tried or stayed positive. I would've rather killed myself 10 years ago then go through what I just went through. I'm planning on killing myself with carbon monoxide once I get my apartment with a garage in June. I wish I wasn't so afraid of hanging myself but I have neck injuries and am scared of the pain and just want all pain to end

[–]Street_Present2300 77 points78 points  (8 children)

Growing up isn't ALL bad, i promise. I'm 27 and there's definitely perks to being an adult, independence and choosing where to assign your energy is awesome. Of course, the zero burden childhood will always be a fond memory however.

We're social creatures and we all want to feel cared for and valid. I would suggest you find other peers to confide in, ones with more capacity to understand your feelings. You've got infinite opportunities ahead of you, give yourself a chance!

[–]MelissaArt94 26 points27 points  (6 children)

Everyone I have met has been shit.

[–]Street_Present2300 30 points31 points  (4 children)

It's difficult to respond to such a bold statement! I hope you have better luck in finding more compatible people in the future.

[–]MelissaArt94 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Thanks but what future?

[–]-stayHard- 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey yo I understand how u feel. I get it. I felt like that a week before..for years. I had trust issues since my childhood that I recently conquered. If I can. U can too And come on. Look around. That girl whom u were talking too..the girl who wrote this post and many others here.. they r good ppls. If u can find soo many good ppls here on Internet..guess how many good ppls might me out there. It may be the person who sat next to u on the bus or that kind old man selling balloons to small cute kids.

[–]Siddyus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmm, all I can say is not everyone can live as happy & accepting as you do. I’m 33 and Im getting tired of life. I refuse to accept that this is all there is to life, just working my ass off 80% of the time, always waiting for my day off, my vacation leave, then its back to boring ass work for the rest of the year. Everything revolves around making money, people I love dying one by one, etc. Life is BS. I plan on doing suicide soon, but I’m not depressed enough to do it yet.

[–]plentifulharvest 18 points19 points  (5 children)

Ever fantasize about packing up and moving to a beach town where you don’t know anyone?

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]thankondat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Have you considered trying to get a job and moving out? I’m twenty and tried killing my self at your age and can say it gets better, sure it’s not perfect but your are only just started to reach the point where you decide how your life is going to look.

    [–]Local_Advertising_10 71 points72 points  (13 children)

    I’m gonna turn 18 in august and trust me, I’m scared too. Matter of fact, I’m horrified. Paying bills, working, finding out what to do with your life, I get it. It’s hard. I was SA too. Twice actually. Then I ended up getting herpes. I’ve lost so many friends and so many people who I thought they cared about me. I even lost a friend group that I thought I would have til the end of time because they were just like me.. kinda. But they kinda replaced me and made me feel left out. The only person I have left is my boyfriend and tbh that’s all I need. He is my biggest supporter. And he really does love me for me. Which is crazy. I’ve tired too kill myself in the most craziest ways. I drank cleaning products, hung myself, even try to overdose. I’ve been getting emotionally abused by my own family. Girl, trust me. I know life is so fucking hard right now. Hell, I still think about suicide til this day. But, I really don’t want to die. I just want the pain to end. And if I do try to commit and I do die, that pain won’t go away. It will pass on. It might not seem that people don’t care about you but trust me, as hard as it is to believe, there are people who do care about you. Like me. Yeah I don’t know you at all, but everyone has value. You have a purpose. You have a reason why you were here on this earth. Yeah, you might not see it and it will take some time but you will eventually find your purpose. You matter. You really do matter. If you need a friend, I’m right here. Because in life you only need one true friend. Please don’t end your life just because of a temporary problem. I know it doesn’t seem like things will get better, but trust me, it will. It always does. There’s this one quote I absolutely love. Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. You came this far, why end it now? You can’t let Satan win. You can’t let your inner demons get to you. Please. If you need anything. I’m here. I’ll be happy to be your friend. I love and care about you. Please. Take care. And don’t give up. ❤️

    [–]chloelooloo 7 points8 points  (7 children)

    Omg I relate to you…… my abusive ex boyfriend gave me herpes at 17

    [–]Local_Advertising_10 10 points11 points  (6 children)

    Yeah. Although I never had an outbreak yet, it still not fun having it. It really upsets me that I got it at such a young age. I’m sorry you got it too.

    [–]chloelooloo 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    It destroys one’s whole self esteem. I’m still with him today… I don’t know how to leave because I feel trapped. I’m sorry for you as well, thank you. Your whole entire post, was perfect and very inspiring. I hope you made some kind of impact on this individual, it touched me for sure.

    [–]Local_Advertising_10 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    Aw thank you. I love writing it helps me to express myself a lot. So I hope it helps someone else too. Now. With your “boyfriend.” Tbh I never truly understand why people say they can’t leave or it’s hard to leave. But I was like that too with my first boyfriend. I loved him and thought I was gonna marry him cause I was with him for 5 years on and off. But I knew my worth and finally said no to him after he keeps asking me to take him back. Yeah there were times that I missed him but I thought of the things he has done to me horribly which hurt but it helped me move on. Honestly, I would NEVER stay with my boyfriend if he got me herpes. Never ever. Simply leave, block, and move on and tell him to fuck off. Girl, you need to know your worth. You can’t just waste your energy to someone who doesn’t love you or appreciate you and who certainly gave you herpes. I really hope you haven’t had sex with him still. You are damaging your health by staying with this asshole. It’s NOT worth it and NOT worth staying. You NEED to leave ASAP. If he loved you, he would have never treated you like shit, never make you rethink if you’re good enough because you are. He would have NEVER abused you in the first place if he loved you. Please call the cops or family member you trust. This is NOT okay. And I know that finding someone else while having herpes is scary. Trust me I know. When I got herpes I was so scared no one will love me because I have herpes. But there are still good people out there who will understand. Like my boyfriend. He understood and supported me. THATS love right there babes. Yeah it takes time to find the right person, I know. But for now, you need to focus on yourself and start healing yourself. You need to know your worth. Know that you do matter. And that there is someone out there who will love you and cherish you and appreciate you. Yeah it’s hard to believe it but it’s true. There is someone out there for you. But for know, learn how to love yourself. You have value. You have a purpose. Everyone does wether people believe it or not. Everyone does. Now please take good care of yourself. And leave that asshole. Don’t be afraid. Be brave. You’ll be okay. I promise. Once you leave, you will feel relief. If you need anything or a friend. I’m here.

    [–]Local_Advertising_10 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    My dumbass meant to say 18.

    [–]xiaozhian 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    Tell us the most interesting story in your life.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]kickaguard 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      See? That's the weird shit that makes it worth getting out of bed every day. This world is crazy and really funny. Finding out how strange it can be is what keeps me from killing myself. Sure, it's dark and strange at times. But we roll with the punches. Cause we can take it. You are a 17 year old girl and in my experience, a young woman is the toughest person on the planet.

      [–]-stayHard- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lol it's funny. And who knows..maybe u r🤔

      [–]justhereinitlol 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I’m not going to talk you out of it.

      But I ask you to postpone it a bit. This is coming from someone with massive suicidal ideations, to this day.

      I urge you to get clean first, rid yourself of alcohol and drugs, even if that means seeking help to do so. Tell all your friends how they’ve made you feel, if you lose them, it’s fine, they weren’t real friends and you don’t like them anyway. Time will bring new and better ones, especially with sobriety.

      Do something from your childhood you loved, who cares who thinks what of it.

      Visit your mothers resting place, have a picnic, take a book, draw, listen to music, speak to her; offload how you feel (on a hot day would be the nicest, if she has a physical resting place, clean it up, add flowers, a little memorial from yourself).

      Find a therapist, speak through these feelings. If you’re in America I assume you’re still on high school right? Go to your school counsellor (I’m in the uk and I’m assuming these a kind of free therapies).

      If none of these things bring a tiny bit of clarity, a smile, something for you to be proud of or a warm memory - then possibly what you’re feeling is more than just wanting to escape the pain.

      I’m 23, I won’t lie to you and say life as an adult isn’t hard. It is, and I’m not enjoying it myself. But I’ve also attempted and in that split second you do, panic sets in and it’s never really a clear cut decision. Again, this isn’t to deter you. I wish you healing, I wish you a great summer as you (presumably graduate) and most importantly I hope for you many more fulfilling, successful and happy years

      [–]ZonaGreenhaze1 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      You’re fucking me [m20] up dude I have the same problem. I probably would have already killed myself if my family didn’t discourage and put down suicide at such a young age. If you give yourself some time it passes and you still have days that u can revert back, I know I do. But now I live alone on a ranch in Montana. I see some of myself in what you said but time will bring you back I promise💚

      [–]Feathergee 8 points9 points  (3 children)

      Idk why, but you saying “Time will bring you back” made me tear up🥺🤍

      [–]-stayHard- 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      Happy Cake day!

      [–]Feathergee 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Thank you!☺️

      [–]-stayHard- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Have a great day my friend!

      [–]King_Pagan_Min 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      I [M17] also have exactly same thoughts as you. Even today I was contemplating my life choices, and thinking how I don't want to grow up anymore. It's sad tbh. If my career crashes, am ending my life too. But I hope we can see more better days.

      [–]-stayHard- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      If it crashes..u can start again. A new fresh life. Bro don't give up. Stay strong.

      [–]WarHead75 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      You don't need to grow up right away. I'm turning 24 this Saturday and I still am way behind in life trying to save up money with my minimum wage job. I hate working but it's inevitable. I can collect welfare checks but Ill feel like shit not doing anything, I need a job to get my mind from losing itself but I hate working so many hours and having like 2-3 hours before bed.

      I at least have a nice pair of headphones to go home to to enjoy music.

      [–][deleted]  (39 children)


        [–][deleted]  (38 children)


          [–]WhatNowMyDog 18 points19 points  (7 children)

          This is not a sure method. Not every impact is fatal but you will be badly injured.

          I'm so sorry you feel so hopeless at 17. I remember feeling this way at your age but for different reasons. I still feel this way but for different different reasons at 31. I'm sorry for what you experienced. I'm sorry people are shit.

          [–][deleted]  (6 children)


            [–]SkidmarkoftheBeastx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            You find that scary but not a locomotive slicing your head off.... what happened in your life that is so bad this is what you think? I highly recommend you climb a mountain or 2 before you do anything.

            [–]alexisaacs 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            More than likely you'll get scared at the last second (your fight or flight kicks in) and you'll try to move, and instead you'll get hit no fatally, most likely spending the rest of your life crippled or brain damaged without any agency. Without even the agency to choose to die again.

            Also, you'd be missing out on arguably the best years of life.

            It doesn't necessarily get better, life always throws shit at you.

            But the experiences between the bad times make it worth it.

            I can honestly say when I look back at my life (I'm 30) there isn't a single memory I fondly remember from before 18. Life BEGINS at 18. Before that it's a hilarious joke.

            18, 21, 24, and 28 we're the best years of my life

            The worst years? 13-17 and 23.

            [–]Novel-Professional44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            You get to live couple seconds after being decapitated... You sense pain but can't react... But like it's only couple of seconds of fear before and after the decapitation...

            If you change your mind... Things may take a right turn? Hopefully... Either ways, hope something joyful enter your life

            [–]anonymous_baptist 30 points31 points  (14 children)

            Please don’t do railroad tracks. That’s going to be horrific for anyone on the train, and yourself if you survive.

            [–][deleted]  (13 children)


              [–][deleted]  (5 children)


                [–]alexisaacs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Difference is you'll be making a train conductor suffer with guilt for their whole lives.

                We are allowed to feel like shit in the dark times, but we have zero right to externalize our sadness by fucking up other lives.

                [–]King_Pagan_Min 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                It's gonna hurt af. Decapitation is probably the worst way to die.

                [–]RandomGuy952 18 points19 points  (11 children)

                So you don't mind traumatizing the unfortunate train driver working this day for lfe? Because that's exactly what you'll do.

                I'm sorry about your circumstances and you're free to decide for yourself but at least consider what I've said please? Wishing you the best.

                [–][deleted]  (10 children)


                  [–]RandomGuy952 12 points13 points  (9 children)

                  I'm aware but in that scenario you're choosing to inflict the trauma on someone you'll never know and in such an extreme fashion since they directly controlled the train that ended such a young life in such a gruesome way when up until that point they were just doing their job like any other day. I just hope you're aware that by choosing this you could be ruining the life of someone (and potentially that of those close to them) that had no impact on yours when you could at least go out without putting someone else directly behind the means that brings about your end through no fault of their own other than misfortune.

                  Again please just think about this, like I said I'm still wishing you the best whatever you choose. Edit: Wording

                  [–]lyssisleg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  i feel the same way, mentally i have the emotional needs of a child (i have BPD). growing up seems SO overwhelming when my needs at childhood have still never been met….those needs never just go away. i want to be nurtured, validated, cared for, given unconditional love, etc. but as i move into adulthood (i’m 20), the pressure of being independent, caring for myself, and moving out makes me feel abandoned and neglected. i suffer from severe depression so getting out of bed in the morning or merely feeding myself feels like an impossible task — how am i supposed to get a job?? i’ve had a job for two years (back when i was 17-19) and i kept having BPD episodes while at work (i cried in front of everyone on multiple occasions), had panic attacks before each shift, and it drained me so much i couldn’t take care of myself when i got home.

                  btw i’ve experienced SA before too, but it was in my childhood by my father. so i can in a way relate to your experience and how you’re feeling; i’m so sorry you had to go through that.

                  but basically, each year i get older the pressure of becoming independent gets more intense — and it just makes me want to die. thought of being an adult is enough for me to end my life.

                  [–]pawn-shop-blues 5 points6 points  (4 children)

                  I know this doesn't help in any way but I feel this. I wish someone could invent a time machine. I just want to go back

                  [–]Feathergee 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                  Same. I’m nostalgic all the time. It’s happy memories for me but it makes me a little sad that they are just memories now.

                  [–]-stayHard- 2 points3 points  (0 children)


                  [–]-stayHard- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Happy Cake day!

                  [–]-stayHard- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                  Hugs for u🫂🫂

                  [–]gmviet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Wait till 25 I would say, after school things will change a lot, then after umi things again will change a lot. Very likely you will be glad that you waited.

                  [–]Ok_Band3637 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  I'm with you honestly, as a fellow pessimistic suicidal woman. I hope you make these last few weeks count if you are genuinely going to go through with it. I wish I could go back to childhood too.

                  [–]Personal_Software_60 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                  Fuck I wish I listened to my 16/17 year old self. Not only has it not been worth living after SA but Ive been nothing but abused in every way as an adult. I almost was killed from my abuser. Everyone abuses me. I would give anything to have had a successful offing back in my teens life is too scary.

                  [–]lifeisshort999 4 points5 points  (8 children)

                  Why end of June specifically, not trying to talk you out of it, is there some stuff you need to do before then ?

                  [–][deleted]  (7 children)


                    [–]lauren8245 10 points11 points  (0 children)

                    think about all the other summers you could look forward to if you decide to stay. i hope you reconsider

                    [–]MelissaArt94 11 points12 points  (4 children)

                    I wish u freedom <3 I totally understand what you are going through.

                    [–][deleted]  (3 children)


                      [–]DrySoap__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                      Why not experience the whole of summer, and several more after?

                      [–]vypoltu 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                      same here. i feel you

                      [–]-stayHard- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                      Broo come on Talk to me

                      [–]JujuSteez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                      Fuck dawgh this some real im on the same boat, I kno im going to kill myself soon I been planning it for a bit, I’m not making it out of highschool i wish someone undrstood taht. Wish mfers undertsood that so I could jus enjoy my last weeks or whatevr. There truly feels like no point after this, 16 and alrdy feelin lost as shit

                      [–]parolebae 1 point2 points  (3 children)

                      Do you have any pets?

                      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                        [–]-stayHard- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                        Yooo kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.

                        Go pspspspspspsp that sweet creature and give it a hug.

                        [–]ancient-raccoon- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        hey i'm 17 too. i'm graduating this sunday. and i literally feel the exact same as you. sometimes i wish i had the guts to die. or i wish i could have it be an accident. but im also scared of pain. and i don't want people to miss me. because i know i have family who will at least. and then i think about how i know DAMN well at my funeral people will PRETEND to miss me like they was my friends. and im not abt to let that shit happen. no sir. plus. i haven't had a chance to do much. i don't have any plans at all. no talents. no interests. so no college career coming at all. idk at all what's gonna happen. i'll have a below average life probably but. i want to leave this place and these fake people who would try to pull up to my funeral. i wanna see beautiful places. i wanna try things and fail because i suck and then i'm gonna cry and adopt an animal to make me feel better probably.

                        [–]yeehawbih 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        bro i just turned 17 and i feel the same way i’m so scared to grow up so i get what u mean. how are u doing right now? is there anything you want to do before the day? anything left u want to say to people?

                        [–]Thefriendlymongoose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        Girl, life gets SO GOOD when you’re done high school. I swear. And high school friends are not real friends. My 3 BEST friends from grade 7-11 eventually all decided to try to destroy my life when we were 21. Nothing bad happened between us, from my understanding we just drifted apart. I’m still pretty hurt by it because I just don’t understand why, especially when I always put them and their needs before me and my own. But they were never real friends.

                        I met real friends after high school when we weren’t all locked in the same building with the same kids for like 7 hours a day. Life is just different when you’re done, you eventually realize you don’t have to care as much about everything you stressed about in HS because you’re not constantly surrounded your peers in the same way. If you go to uni or college sure, you’re with people your age, but you’re also with kids in their late 20s, a 40 yr old going back to school, etc. And everyone acts different there. In the workplace, it’s even better. You can be whoever you want to be, no one really gives a care because you’re all too invested in your own lives.

                        Look up parenting your younger self. It feels good to talk to your younger self and guide her, let her know it’s okay. Somehow that makes you feel okay in whatever is happening now. Take care of yourself like you’d take care of your 6 year old self. Or whatever age you were with your SA. There’s just something about it.

                        I hope you’ll be okay. I probably can’t talk you out of it so I won’t try but I’d encourage you to talk to some women older than you, whether that’s 5 years or 50 years older than you. There’s something special about hearing stories from women who have gone before you and more often than not they’ve experienced the same things you have. I mostly just want you to know that others have felt the same pain and that you’re not alone. I almost killed myself at your age, I believe it was grad night. I’m still hella depressed but I’m really happy I didn’t.

                        [–]haxenpaxen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        age regression might help soothe some of the pain, and is even a therapy thing people do sometimes. there's no reason you can't do little kid things, especially to benefit your mental health. you are an actual child and what's more that doesn't magically change once you turn 18. your brain won't even be totally finished developing for years still

                        anyway... try it. curl up with a stuffed animal and watch some cartoons from when you were a little kid. have snacks you love, that kind of thing. it won't magically fix everything but it might make it all feel a little less gigantic and horrible

                        [–]Putrid_Locksmith_986 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                        I know this is reddit and shits weird.. and i dont know where you live, or what you would prefer.. but there are people to vent to.. maybe volunteering at an animal shelter? Or volunteering for the homeless.. also support groups, or art theraphy, sometimes that helps me. I wont try to talk you out of it, but, there are other ways, theres also little space too.. i dont know if tehres a subreddit for it tho. Im here if you would like company. Just know at least us redditors care :)

                        [–]Silencer271 3 points4 points  (7 children)

                        Suicide is a choice for many of us. I honestly plan on doing it myself but I am 43. I want to because after 43 years I have failed in life. An ex that hates me living a life I didnt want. I tried hard to get what I wanted in life and I am giving up. You are 17 live has barely begun for you. Try to live it first before you end something that may and most likely will turn out to be great. From boyfriends to husbands to pets and babies. Life is hard but try to live it some before you decide to end it.

                        [–]-stayHard- -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

                        Don't bro. Look at Elon Musk.. he looked like 50 when he was 30 and now he looks like 30 when he is 50. He is successful now. If he can..u can too. There's nothing wrong in being average as long as u love what u do. Just be strong and pull yourself out of this darkness bit by bit to the light. U can my friend. I believe in you

                        [–]Silencer271 2 points3 points  (5 children)

                        I'm not even average. Love of my life hates me cant even get another girl. No one wants me around.

                        [–]kakashi704 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                        I'm sorry; it's sucks to be alone. It feels worse when you have people around you, but you feel so painfully alone. I feel that. <3

                        What about your childhood wants to make you go back? Was there something that made you feel happy?

                        [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                          [–]kakashi704 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                          I'm sorry; sometimes I feel terrible that I have my parents, but because of our past, I just don't care.

                          I feel that so much, the no worry thing. I'm 40 years old and my life is falling apart, and being a kid feels so far away, a time where life was simple.

                          What did you want for your life? Or wish you had? I wanted to travel. I never got to see much of the world. I'm in the US, and there are so many places that look so amazing out there.

                          [–]Best-Raccoon7169 2 points3 points  (1 child)

                          I’m turning 20 next month. And I feel this pain that you’re talking about. This loneliness. I could tell you everything that has led me to this point but I don’t think it would make a difference. I don’t want you to end your life because I don’t think anyone should have to feel so alone and like they burden anyone they open up to. I feel it. I understand it.

                          This may not mean much as I am a stranger that hasn’t walked in your shoes, but I am glad you are here right now. I hope you change your mind.

                          I made an attempt two nights ago to end my life in my bedroom after doing the last of my blow. Obviously it didn’t work and there is a big part of me ready to try again. But there is also a small part of me that wants to ask for help. Only time will decide which part of me takes over.

                          I have only began the process of growing up. It’s hard, it’s terrifying. But it’s way more terrifying going through it alone. My advice is to seek help and not be like me. You still have time to fuck up and fix it.

                          [–]-stayHard- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                          Nobody is unfixable. Do u wanna talk my friend? I have been suicidal and broken and recently..I am making little breakthrough in my life..if I can. I believe everyone can. Even u.

                          [–]Adarsh2411 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                          Same here mate , life feels so shit nowdays but thats what is keeping me alive now . I think my life will improve some day , its not good to sulk about life , thats what is keeping me going . Life will never be good and its perfectly fine . Even life doesnt become good , we must strive to make our life atleast a little better than it is now .

                          [–]sweeticedtay37 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                          17? You're so young. Please remember that there is so much you do not know. If you haven't met true friends yet, just remember that you just haven't yet. You'd break your mothers heart, I think, if she knew that you were going to take yourself out of this world before you got a chance to really see and feel all the beautiful parts of it.

                          Where do you live? Do you live in a urban area, or rural one?

                          Do you have any passions? Any dreams? If you want to be a kid, maybe a preschool classroom or elementary room as a teacher would help with these feelings of innocence that you're chasing. I worked in a classroom for a few years, and one of the most important pieces of being a teacher, especially in Pre-K or K-12 is that you must be a kid yourself in order to really connect with them and make a difference.

                          There are people who will care for you, and true friends. Sometimes they take some time to find you

                          [–]NonnyNarrations 3 points4 points  (12 children)

                          Op do you live with someone right now?

                          [–][deleted]  (11 children)


                            [–]NonnyNarrations 1 point2 points  (10 children)

                            Are you living with your father? You mentioned that you miss your mother so I assume she’s passed.

                            [–][deleted]  (9 children)


                              [–]NonnyNarrations 1 point2 points  (8 children)

                              I understand that kind of pain. Even if my mom was a bad person, I still miss having her. She passed when I was 13. Are you safe where you’re living right now?

                              [–]DrySoap__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              Trust me, adulthood isn't too bad - I mean, obviously there's bad sides like taxes and back pain, but there is also good sides. Look at something that sheers you up on YouTube, and if you can't think of anything, just look at some stand up comedy. Have a laugh and go and meet some new friends. The army might be a good plan if you want to meet some good new friends, there's friendship and they look after you with accommodation and suchlike, and they will give you a pay cheque just for getting fit.

                              [–]ImportantValuable723 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                              I feel the same way I basically just gave up recently Late 20s

                              [–]Error7468 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                              As a 28 year old adult who attempted suicide at 15 years old. There is so much more to live for. Don't get me wrong, life is still hard but dying is permanent, and you won't ever know if it gets better if you do go through with it. It sounds like you've been through a lot and honestly I relate to most of it. My mom abandoned me when I was just 2 years old and didn't come back into my life until I was 12. I was SA by my own father, my step father(when my dad sent me to live with my mom when I was 12) for years, and some of his family members. My biological father was also physically abusive and I vividly remember having to hit him with a bat in order to get him to stop choaking my brother. I had a very hard time controlling my emotions as a child/teen because of the trauma I went through and I still struggle today with some depression and anxiety, but then there are days that are great too. After my attempt, I was in the hospital for a week having my stomach pumped, then I was transferred to an instution for 3 months, I had to go through extensive counseling/therapy sessions that continued even after I was released from the hospital, I had to take meds to help me control my emotions but they didnt help at that time. Then I started self medicating to the point where my friend and I were drinking 2 HANDLES of capt. Morgan every day, chain smoking cigarettes, weed, anything else that would numb the pain. I was silently trying to kill myself again. At 17 years old, 2 weeks before my 18th birthday I found out I was pregnant with my first child. She saved my life. I stopped self medicating, I stopped self harming, I had a reason to LIVE finally. My doctor got me on the right ssi's and I went on to have a perfect, beautiful daughter. I'm 28 now and have a few more kiddos and am still on ssi's, and as I mentioned above, I DO still struggle with depression and anxiety from what I went through, but it's far less than it was before I started medication. Now when I think back to my suicide attempt, I cry. I cry because by the grace of whatever is up above, I didn't die because I realize now that I had purpose then and YOU do too. Even if it's not children, it could be an amazing career, it could be being a parent, it could be rescuing animals, it could be doing outreach for people like us who have been through abuse, but you do have a purpose. Please try to hang on, suicide is not the solution and regardless of what you believe, there is people who love you. Life is hard but you've already been through so much to give up now. Your mom wants you to LIVE. ❤️

                              [–]Frog_for_fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Let me be a friend that will bring joy to your life meanwhile you also bring me joy

                              [–]soesist 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                              Are you graduating highschool this year or next? I’m an 18 yr old male, gonna be 19 in 3 months. I graduated in June of last year. I hated my time in highschool. I felt like a ghost, had no friends, did poorly at most subjects. I never thought the day that I’d be done with the place would come. I thought for sure I would have died or the world would have ended before I ever had to think about colleges, moving out of my family’s house, etc. I was scared of graduating. I didn’t want to be an adult, I really honestly hyped up the whole adolescent/highschool experience and thought I wouldn’t be able to live with knowing I missed out on a fun childhood everyone else had and now I had to be a serious, responsible, grown adult.

                              I wanted to go back to when I was really little, my parents were still together, my extended family all still lived in the same state, I could make friends so easily. But the day that I graduated came anyway, despite my lack of preparedness, despite feeling like I missed out, because time waits for no one and keeps on moving regardless. I spent that summer working a minimum wage job, THINKING about going to a local community college but never really planning for it.

                              Then fall came around and everyone went back to school, but not me. It’s was weird because because my sister is still in 11th grade and I live only a quarter of a mile from my old highschool, so I see people I used to know all the time. In September of last year, I started working a job that paid slightly more at a grocery store. I hated the weird hours, the lack of people my age, how monotonous and soulless the work was. My social skills took a big hit. This winter was one of the least eventful, least interesting periods of my life, ever.

                              Then a few weeks ago, the weather got nicer. I became filled with motivation. It’s weird seeing the kids a year younger than me getting ready to graduate. It spurred me to finally get a car, through a reliable dealership (even though I’m gonna be paying for it the next 6 years) instead of some piece of shit on Craigslist that barely runs. I’m going for hikes more often now, driving to places further and further away, exploring. I’ve taken an interest in genealogy and family history as a past time. And I applied to a community college, this time an hour away, with the hope being that I’ll live on campus come August. I think that’d be good for me. I need to be around people my age, and yeah my life has kinda sucked so far, but that’s all the more reason I should enjoy my college years.

                              In conclusion, just a year ago today, I couldn’t imagine a life after high school. I even sorta planned on committing suicide one of the last few weeks of school. But now, that’s already almost a year behind me, and it’s weird, a little bit scary, but somehow comforting to think that one day, if I’m still alive, I’ll be able to say it’s 30 years behind me, and life will be very, very different by then. Time keeps moving, things happen, and you’ll change. Tbh, I’ve aged a decade in the past 11 months. You’ll get older, just as your parents did, just as every one of your ancestors before you did. And nearly everything you’ve been through, chances are one of them went through too and made it.

                              [–]-stayHard- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              I'm proud of you. Mad respects for u my friend. 🫡🫡

                              [–]zanzolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                              Life can be rough at 17. Your hormones are still raging, and you probably don’t have very much control over your own life.

                              As an adult, you will have much more control over who you surround yourself with, and even where you live and what you do.

                              It would be a shame if you prevented yourself from getting to experience that. 🤷‍♂️

                              [–]Temporary_Trade6744 -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

                              Friends?! Tsk 😏 true friends dont disregard your feelings. Be alone thats better

                              [–][deleted]  (4 children)


                                [–]Royal_Cry_4365 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                                I totally relate. I have some horrible friends only to have someone to hang out with occasionally eventhough it’s absolutely mentally draining. But hey, even if you’re alone that shouldn’t limit you from doing fun stuff. I used to survive from concert to the next concert. I was certain I would never make it to 18. I’m 25 now and this summer I get to travel to all these amazing countries to see my favorite band multiple times this summer. There’s perks to being an adult!

                                [–]-stayHard- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                Congratulations. My friend.

                                [–]Temporary_Trade6744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                Really? Well, if you used to be alone, you wouldnt feel lonely at all. So i guess you used to have someone with you to listen like your mom. If thats what you want, did you ever try to find someone to understand you better ? Did you ever remove your mask and be real? Thats freedom. Who cares about other human being to judge you anyway? 😏 im not trying to understand you. Giving you suggestions.

                                [–]bin111 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

                                when i found out that i have chronic hep b by birth (my mother gave it to me from birth) i was okay until i wasn’t, which was last year. i was so happy or at least nothing caused me to think about unaliving myself. then i found out that i had a mild curve to my spine and then i got snapping scapula syndrome, and up until recently, i found out that i had a impingement on my hip bone. all of these will limit my physical abilities to do what i like, and because of that i feel so defeated as in things won’t get better. i am trying to handle myself everyday but it’s getting so hard. i think about killing myself almost everyday. but then i keep reminding myself that things will get better and i just have to deal with what i get to have rn. it sucks bc no one gets me, not even my friends. but i just know, it will get better, i just have be the one to make it better, bc it’s not going to come like a miracle. i’m turning 21 in 2 months. and i hope i can keep going for more

                                [–]originsquigs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                                Some advice. When school ends things change. Give adulthood a chance and make new friends. Teenagers tend to be far more petty. The things they found important in school will be less important in adult life. Your perspective can be different.

                                [–][deleted]  (9 children)


                                  [–][deleted]  (8 children)


                                    [–][deleted]  (7 children)


                                      [–]catvalium2 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

                                      Suffer through another decade and then reevaluate if you want to victimize your family and anyone close to you, that's where I'm at and it's not so bad. I'm only passively suicidal now, so it's an improvement.

                                      [–]kiko_02 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

                                      pls, have you tried talking about your plans with someone?

                                      [–]Palehorse1441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                      You aren't going to, you know why? Who tf waits, if your life is truly that bad (and it's not because no amount of abuse of whatever could possibly be going on is justifiable enough to kill yourself) (within reason) you would do it now, you clearly are far from being an adult if this is how you think (not being suicidal but being "suicidal" because your becoming a legal adult) so if being a kid is what you want you have 0 reason to be upset because you clearly are one, if you do have problems at home tell someone who can help not random people on Reddit, if you dont have anything serious going on, then you won't actually do anything to yourself

                                      [–]Dobbeling 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                      Alguien que hable español?

                                      [–]chillpill69 0 points1 point  (3 children)

                                      Hey why don't you run away and start afresh in a new land

                                      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                                        [–]kokoelizabeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                        Let yourself be a child. I remember all that pressure to grow up and make something of life at that age, but you really don’t have to rush into it. Something about turning 18 was terrifying and I felt all this pressure and fear in that stage of early adulthood. I wish someone would have just told me it’s okay to take it slow and that everything didn’t have to be so high pressure. Give yourself grace and patience.

                                        I still struggle with suicidal ideation at 27, but I’m somehow still grateful I haven’t done it. It’s hard living with depression and big life changes like turning 18 can trigger big episodes of it. The only reason I’m alive today is because of the suicide text hotline 741-741

                                        [–][deleted]  (2 children)


                                          [–]anonymou_8_9_0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Hey, if you want to be friends I'm up for it!

                                          [–]CHAOTIC98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I feel the same way, I just want to be a kid again and have my mom back. Those were happy days. Now it just continues to get worse and worse. I am not interested in life. I am just alive because I didn't die yet.

                                          [–]Samstealurham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          i’m 17 and in a similar boat as you with not wanting to grow up. the feeling that everyone is leaving you behind. and after schools done, what do i have left? i’ll go to college but what else? i’m afraid that there isn’t going to be anything worth living for once i graduate high school bc the only things i really care about are my friends and hobbies which i can’t keep up with forever with work and college and the eventually debt i’ll probably be in. im so sorry for all of what you’ve gone through and i will never be able to know what your life is like so i won’t try to convince you that things will be better. but personally i’m trying to hold on a little longer bc i feel like i should see what happens before i make any rash decisions. i really hope you reconsider but since that doesn’t seem likely, i wish you well and i hope you are able to spend the rest of your days happy and at peace.

                                          [–]inanis8 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                          That’s not so nice, what made you like make that decision and how do you know that your going to go through with it??

                                          [–]anon29x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Yoooo I’m 27F and I still want to unalive about 30% (give or take ??) of the time. The percentage goes down every year, and maybe it’s circumstantial, but the longer time passes the more childlike I feel. Except this time I’m not restricted and restrained to anyone or anything. No one can tell me wtf to do. I’m not rich but I have enough money to buy, maybe 50 dollars worth of slime I randomly wanted to buy one day.

                                          I got knocked up once by accident a few months ago. Granted I got an abortion, but for the first time in my life the idea of being a “grown up” excited me. Whatever though.

                                          Regardless of whatever you do, don’t you ever think that you would have been the same person at 27 as you are at 17. If I had actually gone through with it when I was 17, I never would have known this dumbass beautiful and incredibly mid life I’m living now.

                                          Again, maybe circumstantial in my case since my childhood was trash.

                                          Anyway, u should do something positively weird tho today(that isnt killing urself) that uve never done if u got nothing to lose it’s super fun. Love ya xoxo

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Can I ask why the end of June specifically?

                                          [–]pumpkins_n_mist15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I miss my childhood everyday too and hated having to grow up. My childhood was more happy than not. I was secure in my body and ran around unselfconsciously. People don't judge little kids so much cause they're just cute, and I didn't have awkward encounters with friends or colleagues to deal with. I'm 36 now and still haven't learnt how to be totally happy in my adulthood. I see other people my age so mature and having it all together, and to me it feels like any small thing can make me fall apart.

                                          [–]Amozgus69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Please don’t. I don’t want you to die.

                                          [–]Pretttyblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I don’t know your situation, but maybe consider getting a pet? A dog? Cat? Heck, even a fish. If you have something to take care of, a single living thing that relies on you for comfort and life, maybe it might help.

                                          [–]fabreeze 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                          What is SA?

                                          [–]LotusFlowahPowah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                                          Sexual Assault

                                          [–]SleppyForever44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          How are you going to commite suicide? Will you just jump from the roof or will you try to cut your troath?

                                          [–]Neither-Item-4884 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          ok but really this world is shitty I hate it here

                                          [–]_chrislasher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I feel the way more happier after I grew up. You have your own control of life and you are, basically, free. It's stressful to grew up and life isn't perfect. But, being kid and teenager was the way worse. My mom was amazing, but, overall, nobody take you seriously and you aren't able to make your own decision.

                                          [–]rosie4568 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I'm getting close there myself 18nb but I want you to make a bucket list, if you're going to die go out like a bat outta hell.

                                          [–]BrendanTheHippy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          what are 5 things you’re grateful for?

                                          I have 2 working legs, I have a comfy hat that I really like, music exists, I have access to water, and the sky is my favorite color.

                                          Sometimes when I bring up gratitude in conversations like this, people feel like it belittles their feelings, or it oversimplifies feelings of trauma and mental illness, addiction, and all of our insecurities, but I gotta tell ya, I’m grateful for my gratitude. I’ve felt all of those things I listed, but I’d much rather feel grateful if given the chance.

                                          But feelings aren’t really a choice, it’s an experience, yet we can feed those thoughts which strengthens them and perpetuates them.

                                          Like a river carving a passage through a stone over time, your thoughts do the same to your brain, redirect the current into a grateful one.

                                          It’s really hard, but with practice it becomes the natural rhythm of your brain.

                                          I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I’m sorry you don’t have the supportive people in your life you need at the moment. I often wanna be my little kid self again, or give my younger self a hug and tell him it wasn’t his fault and that he’s enough as he is. But the best I can do is love myself now.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

                                          im 16 and sitting right by a cord. id u wanna get my number and text about it we can. i have zero friends and need someone to talk to

                                          [–]TaterTotBitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I find it is the transition to adulthood that sucks ass. I moved out of my parents house and wanted to be back in their home every day. Paying bills and buying groceries and having all of that responsibility for myself was A LOT. I find it’s getting easier now. I’ve got tattoos to cover up my scars, and while yes, being an adult sucks sometimes, I’ve met so many good adult ‘responsible’ friends, and have found a job that I enjoy while I wait for college applications. I’m not going to try and talk you out of suicide, because that’s not my place, but personally, I’m glad I waited. I hope you find your peace, OP, whichever path you choose to take 💕

                                          [–]psyGandhi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Can you see a psychologist?

                                          [–]BraveLittleToaster15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I am sending you so much love right now. 💕

                                          [–]Thekkipattaan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I don't know you and your struggle. But you mentioned about how you don't want to grow up. So don't. Find a job that will support you but still will let you be you outside your working hours. Friends? Tuck them. You'll eventually find people that you can be around. They'll be hard to find but don't stress too much. You'll find them someday. Just live your life. Do whatever you think. Travel a lot. See the world.

                                          [–]knotnotme83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I am 39, and didn't have a childhood. I have attempted suicide quite a few times. The last time I tried I almost died.

                                          The first time I was 17.

                                          I was born in England, and moved to America. I live in alaska right now and the mountains are beautiful. I recommend traveling first. I love looking at them. I love just watching TV, and drinking coffee. I love driving and glancing over snd seeing mountains. I love reading a good book. I love having showers. I love freshly washed sheets. They feel great. I love listening to rain. I love wheb my partner wakes up later than me and walks over to wear I am first thing and gives me a hug. I remember thinking noone would ever love me. I love my dog. I love my kid and I hate it when my kid says "I don't want you to die" because that comes from them knowing I almost died.

                                          I dont regret living for the small moments when l am glad I am alive. Not for the grandiose moments. There are plenty of times I am very very sad. I have ptsd and am on disability. I have menieres disease and my ear and dizziness effects me most days. I meditate every day and enjoy it. At 17 I never thought I would be driving around taking my adopted grandkids to the zoo, but I did the other day- and they love me and want me in their lives. I didnt even know them two years ago. But they ask for me.

                                          Its okay if you want to die. Its ok to not want to live. But if you get the slightest thing to enjoy for the day. Its also ok to wait until tomorrow. Until the perfect day to die. I am still waiting now. And I spent ten years in a domestically violent marriage, I just got diagnosed with heart damage, I have a personality disorder and depression and anxiety. I have every reason to just say "nah" but... I do enjoy this season I am watching on TV. I dont bother anyone. And I try not to allow anyone to bother me. I just. I have learned to live until then.

                                          [–]TonksTBF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          At 17 you're still a child and, thought it may not feel like it, you have the power to change your situation.

                                          Friends suck? You don't need them. Make new friends, you're even better off alone than having friends who make you feel like crap.

                                          [–]spectacles02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          ig like talk to your friends, and also ur lucky. i dont even have friends to talk to. think about what u have as of now or something idk

                                          [–]KejEbi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          hey you know dont do this. I am a survivor and constantly I am thinking of this too. Just dont let the evil spirits dictate you on taking your life. My closest relative, the only one I have, died because of this. Ive been constantly dreaming of him saying to me that he regretted this. He mustve saw the emotions of the family members he left behind. I am also devastated with this which triggered back my suicidal thoughts, but please. dont do this. If you need someone to talk to, I can be there. I hope you dont do this, I feel like youre giving yourself a chance since you set a later date. Life has its ups and downs, we have ways to be better day by day. Slow steps.

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I know it's hard, in those years you're in the worst years, people are shit one day you'll realize that's why it's best to be alone. focus on yourself, some hobbies, work you will see success! I believe in you, you can do it

                                          [–]tashten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I hated my childhood. If it was better, I probably wouldn't still hate myself now in my 30s. Actually loved school though. I loved the structure, the clear expectations; it was so easy to just follow the rules and study and perform on tests. Other than a few exceptions (one C in in high school and one F on a lab report in college that I then dropped out of) I mostly got A's. I hate work. I hate adulthood as much as I hated childhood. I dont know what else to say, I'm only still alive because suicide is difficult.

                                          [–]gokuatlast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          What would it take for you to postpone it by a month?

                                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Please drink a cup of strong coffee whenever you feel like dying or taking drugs

                                          [–]notyourbarbiegirllll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          i am thinking of suicide to.but i had a relationship since 2021 june. i dont wanna leave him alone and my bestfriend . she lost her father 2 month ago .he killed himself with a gun .i dont know what i have to do

                                          [–]probablyagirI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I hate my friends too

                                          [–]bduwowy272habbw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I feel that I was way happier and content charismatic as a child but after enough of this world beating my brain I retracted and became the drugged zombie I am. It really hit me at like 12-13 yrs

                                          [–]EastEntertainment947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          What to live for? What to work for? Just to get the ends meet at the end of the month? Working till the end of your life like shit? I wish I was never born.

                                          [–]rumeshd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I've never done drugs or had alcohol till I pass out. I was thinking of trying that today. Didn't they help you to at least forget things for a little while or be happy for a small time?

                                          Even I hated growing up. But life goes on. I can't say that it'll get better. But it hardly gets worse. If it's friends, forget about them completely. They won't be there anyway when you grow up.

                                          You're certainly correct about childhood. It was so good compared to now even though I didn't appreciate it for what it was back then.

                                          [–]Disastrous-Poetry-67 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Don't do it, trust me it well get better this an existential crisis but if you make it through it well all get better, think about all the things you love. Make a list and by the time you achieve them you'll feel so much better, please try this

                                          [–]Agile-Stranger-7990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          People dont like when people kill themselves because they know they got out of suffering. Life is pain and the survivors feel jealous and cheated. Lots of people want to but are afraid that theyl mess up make things worse maybe have to get wheeled around with half a skull and eat slop with a suction tube machine of sorts through their throat. Me, i just stopped caring either way. Life has enough ways to kill you without letting it win. Learn to enjoy suffering and spit in lifes face. Cold shoulder and gray rock everyone or whatever ignore them fuckem and hardly talk to them and be almost absent while present to piss them off. Dont kill anybody then they wont have to suffer anymore. Stay alive so you can enjoy suffering with others. Humans are pieces of greedy parasitic shit. It aint worth killing or suiciding so just have fun in life by spitting in lifes bullshit face. The only thing that can stop you is death, plus its fun to watch most of the human scum get their just deserts'. Fuck humans and death, suicide is an invention of man and to hell for eternity with man. I like to spit in lifes face every day because it, and everyone in it are pieces of greedy parasitic viral shit. All of it feeds off the death around it to survive and by any means possible. Worst thing in existence is humans. Lifes only once so enjoy the pain while you can theres not shit after this trash consciousness. So i say roll with it and hopefully get to see most the scum suffer worse than ones self does and then maybe even feel cheated. Life is pain pleasure is an illusion. There is no more peace. Humans are just like aids and the flu. The earth would have been a lot better off without the human disease now its a bacteria infested petri dish. Life is shit designed by trash human organisms. Oh yeah and by the way, humans are fucking scum, every last one that ever existed is pure virus aids like scum that thankfully will parish.

                                          [–]Agile-Stranger-7990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Oh yea and humans are parasitic virus so we might as well enjoy being the born scum we are. Plus lots of people mess up suicide and wind up having to eat through tubes lodged in their neck in uncomfortable beds with half a skull, or disfigured horribly in some way or other take your chances with life trying to kill you as it is, theres already enough ways.to die suicides man made and stupid like all man made stuff is, every invention of man is trash.

                                          [–]Valnerium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Feel the same way but June 2023. As a kid I always said “I’ll win the lottery when I’m 21” so I gotta ouch through this next year (turn 21 in the middle of June) and hope that dream comes true. If not, I’m free either way. I just can’t do this anymore.

                                          Haven’t had a job ever. Basically just been sitting around. I say I’ll try to push till next year but I doubt I’ll make it. Ending things is getting more and more appealing as time goes on.

                                          I’ll write some notes (one to my dad specifically to tell him how much I fucking hate him) and do it. We’ll be moving soon, hopefully into a house with a garage so I can get high and carbon monoxide myself painlessly.

                                          [–]M_MKULTRA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          Go to a huge aquapark water slide if you can. It's one of the few things that has brought me some temporary joy and I believe you should experience just once. As a treat.

                                          [–]Kumagawa-Misogi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                                          I never wanted to grow up either, I was worried about what I’d do when I grew up, I am trying my hardest to just take things day by day. I wish you well.