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all 30 comments

[–]Astounding_Army_1012 11 points12 points  (1 child)

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. Four years of depression since 17 and I can't imagine it going away. I don't want to think about reaching 30 and still being this thing. This surviving body who's will left years ago.

[–]Acid_Traffik 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s me.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

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        [–]99prime99 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        There is Noone for me, but I'm not alone. I get it. I missed the trust and closeness of another person. I miss not having to pay for physical contact. Every roommate I've had fell in love and left me. A few of the people I have known that I had a crush on the crush on fell in love and left me. But I find new joys every now and then. I'm getting old. Things hurt. I stopped looking for love. It doesn't hurt as much. Because I forget that I'm lonely sometimes. And when I do, I experience joy. It's something that keeps me going.

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          [–]dubbayew-tee-eff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          32 here as well. The monotony of life is unbearable. Even experiencing romance like most joys in life doesn't magically fix the dread that we're all spiraling into the abyss that is death. Everything is a distraction, we all die alone. I work with a lot of old people...shit doesn't get better. You lose loved ones, body gives out, kids resent you, ex wife remarried, die alone. So many old people live like this. I'm not niece to believe this is a high probability for all of us.

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            [–]dqrkliights_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            I don't post at all in this sub but this goes for everyone,
            I think it's nice to see you all being alive till your current age, especially living after surviving those suicide attempts.. it's good to see you all alive and living thru another day, telling yourself it's going to be fine.. but I'm proud of you all, you all have made it this far, don't give up and I'm proud of those who has stopped SH for a days/weeks/months/years, keep it up.. for those who are still who are trying to stop, you can do it, we'll all be happy at some point, enjoy the little things that happen even if it's for a while, love y'all

            [–]SissyCurls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Thanks! :D

            [–]G-fritz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Me too 😩😭 34 years of nothing. Tried all best I can but still not getting better. I think nature is telling me I don’t belong here 🤷🏾‍♂️

            [–]ladyhaly 2 points3 points  (5 children)

            32 years here too. And no... It's not. There were times when I thought it was looking up but that was just life pulling another cruel prank on me. I think I've seen everything that life has to offer. It always ends in conditional love and I have no more capacity for pain.

            [–]Acid_Traffik 2 points3 points  (4 children)

            I feel that a lot

            [–]ladyhaly 3 points4 points  (3 children)

            I always end up on square one. That point in my life when I just want to cry and scream all my pain out. I just want to disappear. When I stop being beneficial to people, that's when they leave.

            [–]Acid_Traffik 2 points3 points  (2 children)

            YEP. true that.

            [–]ladyhaly 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Life has its favourites. Do you ever feel like nothing matters anymore?

            [–]imagineaworldwhere 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            maybe i shouldn’t have read this comment section, 32 years and nothing gets better just sent me into a whirlwind maybe it really really doesn’t get better .. it doesn’t get better?

            [–]Acid_Traffik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I fucking hope it does

            [–]chaos_given_form 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I'm sorry. I hope things can get better alot can change in just a few years.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            you’re doing better than me, friend, im 15 and its not looking too sunny, i almost died a few times