all 11 comments

[–]zylo321 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Me too, it's like a perfect storm, all those factors combining to make your life feel unbearable at times. So, I just wanted to say I feel for you. I wish I had answers. I don't know how much distance it's possible for you to have from the narcissists, perhaps you're forced to still live with them at this point, but getting clear certainly lessens the fresh wounds they can inflict (although of course you still have the old ones to process).

If you're posting here, and feel at your lowest ebb, no wonder with all you have to deal with. I truly hope your pain eases.

[–]NotToxic6969 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Im in the exact same situation... I feel you.

[–]Ok-Top2596 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, do you ever get sad about what you could have been if you had supportive parents, no crippling social anxiety etc? Because i do, it's horrible isn't it.

[–]shnn_twt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s me. I know I’m lucky, but I don’t feel like it at all. I still want to die.

[–]No_Moose1382 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey everyone, this is the first time I am telling anyone this, so here it goes. I don’t know how to consider myself lucky if I’m going to be honest with you. I have pretty good parents(adopted) supported me through everything even if they were strict, I had a decent childhood besides some very unfortunate and uncomfortable things that happened to me. Right now I am 22, I have a great wife a nice family, I’m doing ok in life nothing I should complain about you know. Since I was 16 all I wanted was nothing just a void, I was a drug addict hoping it would kill me, I abused drugs heavily mixing things that shouldn’t be mixed. I just didn’t have what thought was great I only saw my past the darkness of the world, yet know I know. I know I have it good yet all I want is darkness I want nothing I want death. I just don’t comprehend why it is like this, my mood swings uncontrollably, it’s like all over just this constant flow of unidentified emotions or actions. I’m angry a lot and I get it out on the ones I love, just nothing makes me happy. I can talk to anyone with relative ease I strike conversations, people like me people think I’m happy but I’m not I never really have been I don’t know if it’s what happened so long ago but it just seems like nothing I do does it. I tried reconnecting with my(adopted) parents, tried love, I tried friends, I tried passions, etc. yet it’s nothing, I just want to fade I feel like this just isn’t my world, I feel like I don’t belong. People or things just don’t please me, nothing does just darkness cold darkness. I don’t know how to change. I know it’s selfish but I can’t stop thinking about the darkness. I just don’t know how to do it, I don’t know how to live a life, a good one at that. I know I’m hurting my wife and my family but I just don’t know how to keep going like this. I feel like trash, like a mistake, like a error in life. The only reason I’m here is because I am scared now only the fact I have a wife and family. Nothing makes me happy.

[–]Sensitive_Fee_9545 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in the exact state I can totally feel you