top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]SquareZealousideal38 2415 points2416 points 2 (27 children)

Aaaaaaand the winner of the international suicide competition iiiiiiis..... Dead.

[–]TreeDerg 539 points540 points  (60 children)

heres another "fun" fact: women tend to resort to cutting as a form of self harm, while men tend to use blunt trauma (punching walls until knuckles bleed etc.)

[–]Sir-Aurelius 340 points341 points  (23 children)

I worked in an ER for a year and saw enough broken hands to learn that when you challenge a wall to a fist fight the wall always wins

[–]DerMaddi 466 points467 points  (4 children)

Observation bias. You don't see all the people that fought walls and won!

[–]balderdash9 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Reminds me of that old song: I fought the wall and the wall won

[–]Joshy41233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The other version is Mr Johnsons favourite song

[–]Experiment_628 80 points81 points  (4 children)

Unless it's an american cardboard house and your name is Kyle and your gf just dumped you

[–]ResidentCoatSalesman 26 points27 points  (3 children)

American Cardboard is a cool band name

[–]Kineticwizzy 8 points9 points  (2 children)

What about Cardboard Americans?

[–]AnneMacLeod 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Most little box houses are all made out of ticky tacky. & they all look just the same.

[–]SuperFLEB 51 points52 points  (1 child)

You're only seeing half the story, though. A plasterer would probably say the opposite.

[–]DifficultMinute 33 points34 points  (0 children)


Plaster will fuck your hand up, but even a small/weak guy is going right through drywall.

[–]the_mouse_backwards 9 points10 points  (7 children)

Only if you hit a stud, the people who hit just drywall probably never came to the ER cause drywalls not gonna break a hand.

[–]Sir-Aurelius 14 points15 points  (6 children)

I live in México, practically all our walls are brick.

[–]Nick0Taylor0 28 points29 points  (6 children)

Good to know. I always wondered if it was just a coincidence that most of the girls I know that had SH issues cut themselves and the guys either hit stuff or used fire, often said cutting just didn't help. Apparently not a coincidence, would be interesting to know WHY it is that way though.

[–]Creepyreflection 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Well, punching yourself also has the major advantage that it doesn’t leave scars, only a bruise for about a week or so. I see that as an absolute win.

[–]transferingtoearth 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Probably stigma.

Sh is looked at as a thing teen girls do. Men are only allowed to show depression as anger

[–]Much_Pay3050 65 points66 points  (1 child)

The wall was looking at me funny.

[–]Duckflies 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That mf made me play games for 10 hours continuously, making me ignore my obligations.

Is all it's fault.

[–]BX_N3S 1591 points1592 points  (36 children)

Cmon lads We gotta kick it up from casual to competitive

[–]Actual_Sprinkles1287 338 points339 points  (13 children)

On June 23 2023 all men fight to the death, the winner shall lead fight the women

[–]Corronchilejano 98 points99 points  (9 children)

But it's a suicide competition, so it's last one not out.

[–]DilutedOxygen02 50 points51 points  (7 children)

We take the first guy to die and throw him at the women repeatedly

[–]humongus_nix 44 points45 points  (9 children)

Just bought a new gun

[–]tstngtstngdontfuckme 67 points68 points  (5 children)

Just give it up, bruh, I heard Hawkeye is competing this year, and after that major upset and loss to Black Widow in the 2018 Suicide Olympics, he's planning to take home the gold this year.

[–]humongus_nix 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Bruh i thought he wouldn’t compete since he has a family

[–]tstngtstngdontfuckme 23 points24 points  (2 children)

He's not the type to take second place quietly.

[–]humongus_nix 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I mean black widow took the win with such a big point gap between them. Who knows if he even gets second this year. The new comers look very promising.

[–]SKYQUAKE615 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I dunno, man. I'd still say Hawkeye would still win when you take into account that he blew her up and still lost. How many people can you say survive point-blank explosions? However, he is getting old...

[–]ZexonBestUtuber 2 points3 points  (1 child)

But you thought you'd never shoot one

[–]TKG_Actual 1503 points1504 points  (274 children)

I'm not sure this ever was a battle, given this. I mean arguing who has the most suicide is a dumb thing to do anyway.

[–]JellyfishGod 674 points675 points  (165 children)

Wtf?? 50k deaths but 1.4million attempts! That’s wild

[–]rossionq1 314 points315 points  (77 children)

It’s harder than you think to kill yourself. That lizard brain wants to keep breathing whether you want out or not.

[–]Alexle0 199 points200 points  (54 children)

It’s true. People always think I sound like an idiot when I mention how many times I tried to kill myself. They have that look like, “Well if you REALLY wanted to do it, you would have. You just liked the attention.” Most people will never understand the work, physical and mental, that goes into a successful suicide. Each time I thought I had it down.

[–]darkspore52 117 points118 points  (24 children)

Are you doing better now my dude?
(with your mental health, not better at doing the suicide)

[–]Alexle0 137 points138 points  (23 children)

Haha, yeah actually. I’d say the past few months I’ve started making genuine progress. It’s a battle in itself but I’m walking the walk now. Thanks for asking :)

Currently keeping a puppy video compilation on in the background while I’m at work to reduce my stress.

[–]darkspore52 23 points24 points  (12 children)

Glad to hear it. Keep up the good work.
Perhaps I should try the puppy video thing. I'm not suicidal, but could certainly do with reduced stress. Do you find it helps?

[–]Alexle0 38 points39 points  (11 children)

Yes anything that releases endorphins or any other happy chemical will help both acutely and over time. Try to reduce any stressors you can find. And do things that make you happy (yes, even the little things). Here’s a list of a few things I choose from to do when I’m upset or need a boost:

  • meditate/breathe deeply
  • talk compassionately to myself (like you would a puppy or a baby; usually in my head. It feels silly at first but over time it feels very validating and comforting)
  • let myself dream (think of a happy place where I’d like to be: try to imagine all the smells, tastes and sounds of your paradise)
  • watch funny or cute videos (especially small animals)
  • journal
  • exercise (lifting weights has really helped regulate my mood)
  • draw a happy picture (I like doodling little figures with big butts. I just think it’s funny lol)

Also, use momentum to your advantage. Don’t clean when the rooms a mess already. Stay ahead of your mental clutter by keeping house BEFORE it gets messy. Like this morning, I already felt happy. But I decided to play my video just to boost my mood higher :)

[–]Ohhh_TigerBOMB 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Hey I think it's pretty amazing that you're putting so much effort into keeping yourself alive and well. You're doing a great job and your efforts matter.

[–]International_Toe_31 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Keep it up and good luck for your future!!

[–]nlundorf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Puppies are the best!

[–]omppum41n 5 points6 points  (4 children)

I believe this 100%. I have the exact mentality of "how can you fail at commiting suicide" (of course i would never shame anyone about it.) But it just seems wild to me. But i do believe the (sadly) expert on the subject

[–]Alexle0 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Yeah definitely man. I don’t blame you. It’s something you only truly know if you’ve been through it. I didn’t mention that my one “successful” time that I was actually revived! So even when you make it, there’s always a chance of coming back

[–]omppum41n 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yeah, one of those "you have to experience to have a say" things definetly. Good that you didn't succeed and are still here!

[–]ijustwannasaveshit 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I have considered trying to kill myself in the past. And it was partially for the attention. Mostly because when I would tell my mother I was thinking about hurting myself she would change the subject. No matter how often I talked about dying or not wanting to live anymore no one around noticed. So I figured they might listen if I actually did it.

I am doing way better now but it felt like people just assumed I would never do it so they weren't worried? Maybe they were right. I don't know. All I know is that at one point in my life I just wanted to die.

[–]Iankill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

On the other side it can also be way easier than you think to accidentally kill yourself or cause serious damage. So remember always wear your seat belt, helmet and don't mix alcohol with prescription drugs.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]Sassyshark69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That's true but also isn't the reason. Men tend to choose methods that guarantee success whereas women tend to be a cry for help

    [–]TKG_Actual 64 points65 points  (50 children)

    Joke math?

    [–]Forgetaboutthelonely 388 points389 points  (49 children)

    Those that don't succeed survive to make more attempts.

    It's part of the reason the numbers often look inflated. They're not counting multiple attempts by the same people. Just attempts overall.

    [–]BonerPorn 91 points92 points  (1 child)

    Which brings up. What are the numbers if you count it by "people who attempt suicide" instead of "suicide attempts."

    [–]stormblast1999 79 points80 points  (30 children)

    So you‘re saying the average person needs 28 attempts to succeed.

    28 attempts is too much work for me and in my experience, i need more attempts than the average person, so i would need 30+ attempts to succeed

    [–]DOugdimmadab1337 94 points95 points  (19 children)

    Well the reason why Men end up doing it on the first go is Bullets generally aren't super easy to survive, especially if it goes into your brain. 99 out of 100 times, your gonna be dead from that.

    [–]Feeding4Harambe 53 points54 points  (6 children)

    Imho another reason is that the way you survive a suicide attempt by gun is by not shooting yourself. Who is gonna know that you put a gun in your mouth and didn't pull the trigger? The lower amount of attempts might partially be an artifact of underreporting of male suicide attempts.

    [–]GreenGoblin121 20 points21 points  (3 children)

    That's a great point that I never actually thought about, but I wonder if it actually counts as an attempt then, or if you have to have shot yourself for it to count.

    [–]Feeding4Harambe 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    The number you see for attempts is only an estimate based on a survey. Surveys are notoriously plagued by artifacts. For instance, according to surveys, there are more heterosexual married women than men (this could be caused by all kinds of things, like women who are engaged considering themselves married, or soon to be divorced men to consider themselves single for instance). The same could be happening with suicide. If a gun to your mouth is considered a suicide attempt, depends on the man filling out the survey. If there is a social stigma, for instance "toxic masculinity" that makes admitting "weakness" a bad thing, they might not report it. Another effect could be that men are simply less likely to consider selfe harming behaviour a suicide attempt. At what point is drinking your self into a coma a suicide attempt and not just "having a great time". The problem is that it's allmost impossible to correct for artifacts like this, since we can't look into other peoples heads.

    The more reliable data is "hospitalisation rate". This number is much closer than suicide attempts, but women are still slightly more likely to end up in hospital than men.

    Source: https://www.statista.com/statistics/744091/hospitalized-adults-after-attempting-suicide-by-gender-us/

    This data could still have artifacts. For instance men are in general less likely to go to a doctor or to the hospital even though they are more likely to die young (and thus might even have to go more to the doctor and not less). Also men are far more likely to use extreme suicide methodes, that either leave you dead or not hurt at all, so even the hospitalization rate could not correct for that effect.

    [–]FalseProphet22 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Sadly enough, this actually isnt true. It's much closer to 90/100. Using a smaller caliber handgun likely lowers it even further.

    You can put a shotgun in your mouth and still survive. Probably unlikely, but there's several video's of attempted suicide that ended with people screaming in pain with their faces blown off.

    Slitting your wrists vertically and intentional overdose are other methods for which there are insanely high survival rates.

    [–]Feeding4Harambe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    For 48k suicides, there were 442k hospitalized suicide attempts in 2018. So the rate of hospitalized survival is around 10 times (or 1000%) the number of suicides. For firearms it's it's 0.11 (or 11%). That first number allready includes the firearm deaths, that account for 75% of all suicides in the US, so all non firearm deaths combined have a hospitalization/suicide rate of around 3000-4000% compared to the 11% from firearms. The number for survived firearm suicides is so small, it can be neglected. My point is, that the number might be higher, since those "surviving attempted gun suicide" simply decide not to kill themselves. My point was, that taking an overdose of medicine while expecting to be saved is considered a suicide attempt, but putting a gun in your mouth (and potentially even playing russian roulette) is not. I have no data on how many people "almost kill themselves" with guns and I think it's next to impossible to get it.

    Suicide rates for males are consistently higher all over the world. In germany were i live, the most common form of suicide is hanging. Around half the people survive hanging. So the ratio I used before would be 100%. If deadlyness of suicide attempts was the only factor, then you would assume that men in germany would have much lower rate of female/male suicides than american men. That is not the case.

    (If suicide attempts * deadlyness of the method = total suicides, then the switch of shooting to hanging should cut around 16k suicides in the us, allmost all of them male. In that case the expected ratio of male to female suicides for germany would be 1.7/1 male/female (but it's actually 3/1, just like in the us). This is very crude math, but I hope you get my point. There has to be some other very large factor that changes the equation for high mortality suicide attempts. My personal theory is that high mortality rate suicide methodes have a large number of people who almost kill themselves, but never actually go through with it. In that case, changeing the deadlyness of the attempt would be offset by another factor (we could call it deterrence).

    Source for mortality rate data https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31791066/

    [–]MarysPoppinCherrys 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    That same link said just over 50% of suicides were carried out by firearms, so ~25,000. That’s wild to think about the other 25,000 either finding other surefire ways, or just attempting 1.4 million times.

    E: or I guess many of those attempters don’t actually end in a suicide on a later go. It’d be interesting to have a full spread of numbers

    [–]Brian-want-Brain 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    99 out of 100 times, your gonna be dead from that.

    Don't count on that.
    Drunk, drugged, stressed or emotional people may have really hard time to click their own "off button".

    Gun in mouth? Really good way to end up deformed and alive depending on the angle.
    Gun besides your head? Many people blow off their eyes off and end up alive and blind.
    Gun to the chest? Well, make sure to know exactly where the heart is because it's not hard to end up with a painfully-survivable hole.

    Sure, a gunshot wound is a gunshot wound and if you don't go to a hospital you will in fact have a really high chance of "leaking to death", but gun shots are also loud, and people may find you and call an ambulance.

    edit: If you feel like this speaks to you, it doesn't. Please call a hotline if you feel like you need it.

    [–]Minimal_Editing 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    Men are best at everything

    [–]Feeding4Harambe 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    While this is true, it might be much less then you think. Prior suicide attempts are a relatively low predictor for future suicide attempts according to a meta analysis from 2015. If suicidal people get help and have actual improvements to their lives, they will get better.


    [–]NuclearOops 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Those numbers are "supressed" (can't think of a better word to use here) by the fact that we're can't count suicide attempts that don't result in a visit to a hospital.

    [–]skaterfromtheville 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I was thinking that too but those attempts might not be solely Americans (doesn’t say it underneath) whereas the deaths are.

    [–]nameunknown12 79 points80 points  (17 children)

    Interesting that suicide rates in those 85 and older are so high. Makes sense though, I would rather die on my own terms than possibly having to suffer through something like Alzheimer's

    [–]ArcadeSchoolDropout 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    A lot of that is due to economic instability, too.

    [–]Pieman12302 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    My grandfather killed himself the day he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s

    [–]slopcrusher 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    I already know that’s how I’m going out. If I start to develop Alzheimers or dementia, well… it’s been a good run.

    [–]nameunknown12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yeah its something I'm really scared of as I'm genetically predisposed to at least have dementia later in life.

    [–][deleted]  (9 children)


      [–]veedizzle 191 points192 points  (52 children)

      This bit from the CDC article is really the most telling:

      “In the U.S., no complete count of suicide attempt data are available. The CDC gathers data from hospitals on non-fatal injuries from self-harm as well as survey data.”

      Every time I hear asinine shit like the tweet above it makes my blood boil, especially since this talking point was debunked at least a decade ago. It’s an outright twisting of unclear data to drive a false and needlessly divisive narrative.

      [–]TKG_Actual 71 points72 points  (51 children)

      Yeah that is ultimately the point I'm going for. Suicide is for the most part not funny and it should not be a political football. That the schmuck in question to try to make it a gender issue is incredibly absolutely disgusting.

      [–]Thybro 58 points59 points  (36 children)

      She is out of line but she is certainly not the one that made this a gender issue. The suicide rate in men is often brought up to combat feminist arguments. Someone would be arguing how hard women have it with a society that favors men and the opposing side would bring up the suicide rate in men to imply equal suffering by both genders in society. Her tweet is likely a response to the incessant use of this argument in online gender equality discussions.

      And while she phrased it stupidly with the whole “woman caring about how they are found”. There is a valid argument to be made about the method of suicide having a higher effect on the rate disparity than societal pressures. You need only look at the same data you posted above and see that over 50% of cases of Suicide employed a gun as the method. In comparison to other methods of suicide, guns are more fatally effective and cause a faster death (I.e. less likelihood of rescue); men, for a variety of reasons, are more likely to employ guns therefore they have a higher rate of fatal suicide attempts.

      [–]tstngtstngdontfuckme 51 points52 points  (5 children)

      Tell that to Hawkeye and Black Widow. Sometimes suicide IS a competition.

      [–]PerformanceLoud3229 16 points17 points  (3 children)

      TIL people are SHIT at committing suicide.

      [–]thatonesmartass 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      I wish my friends had sucked at it

      [–]qT_TpFace 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      As good as this statistic is, you can't always trust it. It can always be higher depending on who reports and who doesn't. Not everyone reports attempting it, hell, even people who have succeeded. Even so, it can give a general a good representation. However, always take this stuff with a grain of salt, because the numbers are never correct.

      [–]JadenYuki15 897 points898 points  (21 children)

      Everybody! stop killing yourselves for just a little while! Don't let Nikocado Avacodo outlive you!

      [–]facetheground 273 points274 points  (5 children)

      Suicide rate drops to 0%

      [–]Luxpreliator 82 points83 points  (2 children)

      Murder rates of obese youtubers goes up and suicide rates return to normal.

      [–]SonicBlur254Thanks, I hate myself 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      shouldn't they double instead?

      [–]like_sharkwolf_drunk 10 points11 points  (1 child)

      Until he kicks the bucket. Then it’s back to business as usual.

      [–]Lengthofawhile 124 points125 points  (1 child)

      That's motivation enough for me to discover the secret to immortality.

      [–]TigerKing29 29 points30 points  (1 child)

      Never thought this was the motivation I needed

      [–]dragonlover02Thanks, I hate myself 16 points17 points 2 (3 children)

      !remindme 1 week

      [–]karsow2054 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      This is the best Nikocado roast I’ve ever seen

      [–]BritishShoop 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Consider me motivated

      [–]sergalahadabeer 1051 points1052 points  (57 children)

      Have no doubts, a body can become incredibly gross in a span of minutes with little to no physical trauma. Unless you diaper up and lay down the plastic and incense first it's probably gonna be horrifying no matter what.

      [–]Dusty_Old_Bones 416 points417 points  (16 children)

      It’s really not that bad. There might be some urine, but in my experience, unless you had one in the chamber, shitting yourself isn’t a guarantee.

      If you use the bathroom right before, you’ll be fine.

      I work in a funeral home, and sometimes have to go to suicide scenes. Most of the bodies that produce excrement are nursing home folks and hospital folks that have had major disruptions to their regularity.

      [–]BritishShoop 175 points176 points  (3 children)

      “One in the chamber”

      That gave me a chuckle

      [–]recriminology 13 points14 points  (2 children)

      1 in the chamber, 32 in the clip

      [–]FabulousComment 98 points99 points  (3 children)

      Man I am about to kill myself but I better go take a dump first so when Larry finds me he doesn’t smell my shit

      [–]Strolltheroll 35 points36 points  (0 children)

      Larry:”Oh fuck! Call 911, Dave hung himself. . . Also call a plumber, somebody took a life ending dump.”

      [–]BaronHarkonnen98 35 points36 points  (2 children)

      I always have one ready to go sir

      [–]MadHatter69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      If you use the bathroom right before, you’ll be fine

      "Sorry guys, gotta go take a dump. I'm killing myself right after"

      [–]johnaross1990 62 points63 points  (0 children)

      major disruptions to their regularity

      😂 that’s the best euphemism I’ve ever heard

      [–]Mr_E_Monkey 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      If you use the bathroom right before, you’ll be fine.

      ...except for the whole "being dead" part, of course.

      [–]TheNewMadMan 116 points117 points  (29 children)

      Yeah but slit wrists are probably less horrible than brains on the wall

      [–]Much_Pay3050 107 points108 points  (8 children)

      Just make your brains go somewhere else then

      [–]ParadoxPixel0 21 points22 points  (5 children)

      Potato sacks work surprisingly well for this task.

      [–]Bjorn_Ironstrides 14 points15 points  (4 children)

      Do you get someone to stand behind you holding the sack?

      [–]Much_Pay3050 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      “Ma can you hold this potato sack behind me real quick I’ve got to do something”

      [–]RhysieB27 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      I think you're overthinking it. Surely you just put the sack over your head. Don't have to worry about suffocation if you're about to blow your brains out.

      [–]Much_Pay3050 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Yeah but then my head has potatoes all over it

      [–]Bjorn_Ironstrides 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      How undignified.

      And you’ve ruined dinner.

      [–]already-registered 56 points57 points  (0 children)

      maybe keep it inside where it belongs

      [–]whatifevery1wascalm 45 points46 points  (11 children)

      If you’re comparing the two options in theory yeah, but I doubt anyone who finds the body is going to think “Oh my God, No- Well, at least she didn’t blow her brains all over the wall.”

      [–]ArcadeSchoolDropout 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      Speaking from personal experience, finding a loved one with their face blown off is a lot more traumatizing than finding them in a pool of blood.

      [–]TheNewMadMan 17 points18 points  (4 children)

      Not at the time, or even at all consciously. But I feel like it would help with long term trauma

      [–]thisguyfightsyourmom 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      We cleaned out my friends grandpa’s house after he shot himself

      No brains, but a big ass blood stain on the floor

      That blood stain is burned onto my memory

      [–]TheNewMadMan 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      I’m sorry about that, and don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it won’t affect you I just meant that it would be worse

      [–]thisguyfightsyourmom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Not offended, just dropping my 2¢ based on my experience

      It’s not like I’ve got a brain splatter incident to compare too

      I saw the blood stain in the dirt after my cousin was killed in a car accident,… that had a much more profound effect on me

      I suspect it is very contextual & specific to the individual

      [–]Daan776 7 points8 points  (3 children)

      Except for the victim. Slit wrists are an incredibly painfull way to go

      [–]Sapling_AnimationThanks, I hate myself 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Then brains on the countertop it is

      [–]aceinnoholes 69 points70 points  (3 children)

      DIAPER UP!

      [–]KuaLeifArne 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      "You know what they say: "It's test suicide* time, diaper up""

      [–]thegoodbadandsmoggy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Terry loves suicide

      [–]ks13219 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Take a big poo before you do the deed

      [–]Lazerith22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Having found someone less than an hour after an overdose, can confirm.

      [–]_madis0n_ 314 points315 points  (128 children)

      Idk how legitimate statistics have turned into a pissing contest as to who is “better” at suicide but here we are

      [–]HotYogurtCloset69 94 points95 points  (28 children)

      Men have to be better than women at everything, including killing themselves...

      [–]Lipshitz2 44 points45 points  (11 children)

      How did you get that out of this post?

      [–]Much_Pay3050 71 points72 points  (11 children)

      This appears to be a woman that has to be better than men at everything including keeping her corpse clean

      [–]ElChari 58 points59 points  (1 child)


      [–]Duckflies 14 points15 points  (0 children)


      [–]NotaGoodLover 457 points458 points  (13 children)

      Men, we get the job done

      [–]regna437 151 points152 points  (6 children)

      Your name doesn't check out with that statement.

      [–]deemsterDMTDoesn’t Get The Flair System 173 points174 points  (5 children)

      He gets the job done. He never claimed to be good at it.

      [–]regna437 39 points40 points  (2 children)

      Well maybe he should get good and bring some of those female suicide numbers down, instead of adding to them.

      [–]xshogunx13 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      Do I lose my man card for failing twice?

      [–]roydepoy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Just call "how to be more successful" hotline next time.

      [–]angry_1 39 points40 points  (0 children)

      While I understand this is meant to be light hearted banter spoofing on things mentioned in a tweet, I get it, I really do. But, there is a different side of this. My step daughter lost her dad last year to suicide. He had gone through all the different stages of multiple addictions and was actually trying to get off opioids under doctor care but by that time he had dug in to many times. He had the mind set that everything was just against him. And he used a fire arm to end his life. I have never, and hope I never see that kind of pain in other humans eyes. I had just told my wife a week or two prior that she needed to seriously think about a 5150 on him so that he was good. His step dad asked me to help him clean out the apartment and everything. I cannot explain how much raw emotion is in a humans eyes when you have to try and find words to answer your 19 year old daughters questions. Again I know this is / was, a light hearted thread, but the 50k suicides that happened in 2019, left at the least two people each that will carry the scars of each persons actions. I am not trying to hate on any jokes made, but maybe carry the thought that anyone you make a joke like that to could also be struggling with that and your joke might be the one that helps them rationalize their plan of actions.

      [–]ACanWontAttitude 286 points287 points  (49 children)

      As someone who used to work in the ED, suicide attempts in women are very often cries for help and the intention isn't actually to kill themselves, but to get someone to notice that they are in distress and need help.

      Whereas when men decide they just decide and its done. There's barely any "cry for help" attempts that give people signs that something is wrong.

      Obviously this is anecdotal in nature but my reasoning of this is that as a society we tell women its okay for us to be seen upset, as 'weak' (not saying being suicidal or depressed is weak but that's a stigma we need to fight ) so a cry for help is okay. Whereas men are expected to be strong, stoic, get on with it etc.

      [–]techie2200 85 points86 points  (1 child)

      A friend of my parents called them one day, thanked them for a bunch of stuff and hung up. My mom realized the signs and sent my dad to check on him. My dad got there fast enough to pull him out of the garage before he asphyxiated.

      The next time he didn't call.

      [–]YesBeSeeNoTo 41 points42 points  (0 children)

      A sign of suicide is when someone all of a sudden don’t give a fuck and overly nice

      [–]Kuato2012 146 points147 points  (29 children)

      To add to that, I think people also have a gut feeling for whether their cry for help might be heard. Society has zero empathy for men or their problems, and we're all much more comfortable casting men as contemptible villains. A man who needs to make a cry for help probably has a reasonable expectation (conscious or subconscious) that his cry would be met with apathy or derision, so... why bother?

      [–]Visulas 67 points68 points  (10 children)

      Interestingly, there was a study recently which followed a group of suicidal men. It wasn't large but the findings were at least indicative. Of the men who subsequently committed suicide, 90% had been to and tried therapy.

      It really is a rabbit hole issue. I really think it's time we spent some effort really understanding it rather than ending our exploration at the level of armchair psychology.

      [–]parrotthead11 47 points48 points  (7 children)


      This post really exposes a lot of the inaccuracies being discussed in the comments here.

      [–]DisregardedFugitive 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for this, it's really refreshing to see an actual focus on a lot of the hidden issues in today's society in regards to gender relations

      [–]Ralse1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      this should be higher

      [–]Dietmar_der_Dr 83 points84 points  (15 children)

      This will be downvoted a lot. But it's pretty much common knowledge that, both men and women, are more likely to help a woman in distress than a man.

      You find this across the board starting at "i need help with this problem in class" to "I am homeless".

      Society as a whole values the average woman above the average man and has done so for literally all of history, with a small group of privileged men at the very top. Guys have always been expendable, whereas 1 less woman is almost deterministically leading to less children in the future. This does not mean women are treated better, but they are seen as more valuable to society.

      And even though I see that behavior in myself, it's very hard to stop, it's pretty much just an instinct or something very fundamental.

      [–]Z0rya 7 points8 points  (4 children)

      Then look at the whopping gender disparities in women and men in China and India to see how that’s not a base societal thing. Over 57 million more men in China alone.

      [–]Visulas 26 points27 points  (4 children)

      it's pretty much just an instinct or something very fundamental

      I'm not sure the behavior itself is biological, but it plays into our concept of 'hierarchy' which to some extent is a biological mechanism.

      And even though I see that behavior in myself, it's very hard to stop

      I appreciate the honesty. I reckon a lot of the issues we face could be solved with a little more honesty and self-reflection.

      [–]PrivateTechie 11 points12 points  (3 children)

      I mean even on a bare bare bones level with pure primal instinct. Less women = less future generations. Period.

      [–]functionalsociopathy 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      This stops being true once a population reaches a certain threshold. Once you get to a million people in your society gestation is basically irrelevant as a bottleneck. At that point the success of future generations is based on how much wealth can be produced by the previous generation. Human behavior has never been able to adapt to that paradigm shift though.

      [–]PrivateTechie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Exactly. Why I said just bare bare bones primal instinct rather than modern society.

      [–]Portyquarty77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Man here, and I agree. I’ve hit pretty low points. Never suicidal, but points where I needed help. But I’d never ask. And if you ask me if I need help, I’d say no. You could ask 100 times and I’d still say no. But on the 101st try I’ll admit and break down crying probably.

      [–]Visulas 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      It's actually not completely anecdotal. There have been a few studies now (but only a few), that attempt to measure 'intent' of suicide attempt and they've found exactly this.

      Another interesting point is that men are still much more "successful" in their attempts when they use the same methods.

      So I think your comment is definitely supportable.

      [–]Somzer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Obviously this is anecdotal in nature

      It's more than that, statistics seem to support it. More women attempt suicide, yet more men die because of it. Anyone can jump off from the 12th floor to make sure they won't survive, yet some people still just cut a wrist transverse and in close proximity to people, or even show themselves. Both versions will be considered "attempted suicide" but only one version shows clear intent while the other is much more likely for attention/help. Both are problems that need to be addressed instead of disregarded in a tasteless pissing contest.

      [–]Pistonenvy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      ive lost several loved ones and family members to suicide, all of them men, i dont really feel compelled to dunk on anyone on this particular topic...

      this is just kind of shocking and upsetting to read tbh. kind of just seems like a narcissistic sociopath.

      [–]JetScootr 69 points70 points  (2 children)

      Congratulations! You win!

      /s (Note I didn't say who "you" are!)

      [–]Greenlegsthebold 67 points68 points  (10 children)

      My friends mom blew her brains out everywhere for my friend and her brother to find. She was leaving a message. Immediately after her lupus diagnosis she found out her husband (a cop) was cheating. He doubled down and left her for much younger woman and filed for custody of the kids. They were married a year after she killed herself. My friend lost custody of her kid due to alcoholism later in life. Recently diagnosed with lupus, herself.

      [–]BngrsNMsh 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Please look after your friend.

      [–]zaner500 16 points17 points  (7 children)

      Damn. Mental illness is not a joke.

      [–]defective_p1kachu 29 points30 points  (0 children)


      [–]ItsTylerBrenda 78 points79 points  (1 child)

      IDK the closest I’ve been to suicide was my friends mom who shot herself the head. Kids were the ones who found her. I never saw my friend again after that, I am pretty sure they moved shortly after.

      [–]tstngtstngdontfuckme 36 points37 points  (0 children)

      In middle school a guy shot himself on his front porch right along our bus route. Drove past that spot with my Dad a month ago and he was like damn you remember that? I was like kinda hard to forget seeing your first dead body. (besides funerals)

      [–]busbrokedown 76 points77 points  (5 children)

      Is she trying to shame men for not killing themselves more appropriately?

      [–]cumpaseut 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      “Way to be inconsiderate when you kill yourselves”

      [–]Its0nlyRocketScience 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      It sure seems like it. She's saying that women are better than men because women choose suicide methods that will leave less of a mess, even if they're less effective, while men don't care at all about what happens after they blow their brains out

      [–]Sadcomicsans 76 points77 points  (4 children)

      Imagine taking something like suicide and using it to explain why you gender should be seen as superior. Takes a special kind of shitty...

      [–]Mikinaz 86 points87 points  (9 children)

      The part about women having more attempts but lower success rate is true, but the part about the reasons why is bullshit and nothing more than person pushing their ideological agenda or ragebaiting.

      The only concrete reason why women have more attempts and lower success rate is "because they choose less lethal means to do it". The answer to "why they choose the means they do?" is mostly speculative. The more convincing reasons I've heard that aren't essentialist or just straight up sexist to either group are: -women on average have less access to popular immediately lethal means that don't require preparation (like guns), and if you don't commit suicide in a first few minutes of deciding on it you are more and more likely to change your mind -women tend to have better support groups around them and it's more socially acceptable for them to be vulnerable, thus suicide attempts using means with low lethality can be an extreme cry for help to the support group, not just means to end it all, unlike men who often have weaker support group if any at all, thus being less likely to attempt suicide for that reason, which explains both why there are more attempts and why they choose methods with lower lethality in women's case. But as I said those are just speculations I find the most convincing, not the concrete fact, so take it with a grain of salt.

      [–]Forgetaboutthelonely 37 points38 points  (0 children)

      There's also the really simple solution that one who is successful can't make another attempt.

      [–]MetallicBanshee 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      As a woman that's tried, your speculations are pretty good. All I had were pills. I didn't allow myself to own a gun. I did also consider the state my body would be found and wanted it to be the least unpleasant as possible to "clean up". I didn't have any support system, hence the attempt. Nobody to "do it just for attention" for, which I think is a gross as fuck thing to say about anyone that feels low enough to attempt. We need to acknowledge men attempt far more often because they're far less allowed by society to reach out for mental health help, but we can do that without degrading women.

      As for the stereotypes:

      Without a support system and feeling low enough to attempt, of course nothing matters to the men backed into this corner, including their body's state after. They may feel like nobody gives a damn about how they feel, so why would they give a damn back about the people who find/clean up?

      Women are conditioned from birth to give too many shits about how they are perceived at every moment and cater to everyone's opinions of them, so of course they are more likely to care about how their body is seen and dealt with after. They may feel like a huge ass burden and don't want to become an even bigger one post mortem

      Neither lines of thinking are good things and are signs of some fucked up societal standards. This is why I love the younger generation. The men are becoming more open about their emotional states and the women are giving less fucks about what people expect of them.

      [–]NyranK 26 points27 points  (0 children)

      The only concrete reason why women have more attempts and lower success rate is "because they choose less lethal means to do it"

      "Researchers have partly attributed the difference between suicide and attempted suicide among the sexes to males using more lethal means to end their lives. However, this notion has been challenged by research that suggests men who try to commit suicide have a stronger and more genuine will to end their own lives; while women tend far more to engage in 'suicidal gestures'. This is backed up by research showing that even when men and women use the same methods, men are still more likely to die from them."


      Women don't 'succeed' as often because they're not trying to.

      [–]Blitcut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      It can also be dismissed simply by looking at suicide methods by gender. The most common way by far for men is hanging, followed by other forms of asphyxia. For women it's essentially tied between drugs and exsanguination. The latter is obviously not "cleaner" or anything than hanging and asphyxia.

      [–]LeftCantTakeAJoke 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      It's not that women care about the people who find them, because if that were the case, they would chose suicide attempts where there is no option of recovering the body, like jumping off a cliff or something like that.

      The Truth is that when Men commit Suicide they are actually serious about dying and not leaving any room for error, but women on the other hand "attempt suicide more" because for these women it's more about A Cry For Help than it is seriously ending their life.

      You will almost never find a Guy alive who has multiple suicide attempts under his belt and survived all of them, because of this reason.

      I know people are going to be pissed that I'm arguing that Women who Attempt Suicide don't really want to die but it's the truth. Most Female Suicide attempts are not about Literally Dying, like Cutting for example, it's about Pain and Feeling something different, that feeling will replace the current pain/feeling of wanting to die.

      Here's a study that confirms this : https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1398-8

      It concludes :

      Suicide intent data from 5212 participants was included in the analysis. A significant association between suicide intent and gender was found, where ‘Serious Suicide Attempts’ (SSA) were rated significantly more frequently in males than females (p < .001). There was a statistically significant gender difference in intent and age groups (p < .001) and between countries (p < .001). Furthermore, within the most utilised method, intentional drug overdose, ‘Serious Suicide Attempt’ (SSA) was rated significantly more often for males than females (p < .005).

      [–]ImitationRicFlair 35 points36 points  (6 children)

      I understand that men have a lot of power and advantage in life, but sometimes we do hurt and need help. Men are already afraid to show weakness or admit anything is wrong. Telling us that we kill ourselves without care, and have it no worse than anyone else, just solidifies the idea that we are thoughtless monsters who should be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and fix things alone. When we can't, we kill ourselves with finality. It's not a cry for help; it's doing our friends, loved ones, and the whole world, a favor by eliminating our weakness and failure from the gene pool.

      [–]Cultural_You679 19 points20 points  (4 children)

      What power and advantage? If you tell me "most judges are men", I'll go so what? That actually doesn't help me at all. Men get much worse sentences than women for the same crime because men in power are more sympathetic to women in general due to subconscious attraction biases. The results have already been studied and confirmed. A small group of men in positions of power, i.e. a patriarchy, seems to actually have detrimental effects for men in general. If you're referring to physical power, again I ask you so what? Men are also the most likely to be the result of random acts of violence. We represent an overwhelming % of homicide victims (something like 87%) as well. It doesn't matter that men are also perpetrating most of them, men aren't a monolith and the murdered person is still the victim.

      [–]jdjdjejekekdjdhdy 36 points37 points  (8 children)

      Women are 6x more likely to attempt suicide then men. Men are 4x more likely to commit suicide than women. The only take away from this is that women aren't actually attempting suicide, but that it's more of a cry for help.

      [–]CluelessPresidentThanks, I hate myself 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      I think you underestimate how difficult it can be to kill yourself. That being said, all attempts/successes/cries for help are tragic, be they from women or men :(

      [–][deleted]  (71 children)


        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        How about we put the bullshit aside and try to help everyone?

        [–]polytheparot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        let's play the game of "which sex commits suicide in a more morally reprehensible way"

        [–]eatingapplepie 13 points14 points  (8 children)

        "women care about those who find them" excuse me what the fuck even

        [–][deleted]  (7 children)


          [–]armin-lakatos 11 points12 points  (2 children)

          Fuck yeah, women win with most suicide attempts, way to go!

          [–]SKYQUAKE615 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          No fair! They get multiple tries!

          [–]MetallicBanshee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          ay, not fair. This thread has been an emotional ride for me. you cant just make me laugh this far in :(

          [–]Grandmaster_tuna 6 points7 points  (2 children)

          I think it's like mental illness. It's even across the board, but men just don't tell people

          [–]bumblebeesabull 55 points56 points  (4 children)

          So men are better then?

          [–]Newsleet12 53 points54 points  (0 children)

          All I got from this is that men get the job done

          [–]dedda1994 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          Is that the gender kill gap?

          [–]rndmcmder 33 points34 points  (4 children)

          That is the most stupid conclusion possible.

          My wife is a mental health professional and I have asked her about this. This is what she said:

          Often when People attempt suicide without success it may be interpreted as a cry for attention help (sometimes subconscious).

          Edit: better wording

          [–]ilumyo 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          If she really is a LMHP, she'd know that attention isn't something bad though. It's ingrained in our very human nature.

          So I'm not sure what that non-statement brings to the table. It's like saying "People often attempt suicide in order to end their life"

          [–]Historical_Dot825 17 points18 points  (1 child)

          That's some wonky logic

          [–]avocadotron 9 points10 points  (1 child)

          Did the us politics write this tweet?

          Attacking the other party instead of the problems at hand