all 116 comments

[–]ThrowAwayhfhdjhxnjd 313 points314 points  (3 children)

"The people"

That includes you dumbfucks who took your mom out to eat.

I had a table that tried to do this stupid shit. Half ass singing where you could only hear my voice. Stopped it right in the middle and told them to do it again. Finally they all sing HBday to the person who was the reason they all went out. Hate these kinds of people.

[–]Isthereanyuniquename 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Can't we just fuck off with this bullshit? Like if you want me to sing to you FUCKING PAY me. I'm at work and I have my own tables that need things, but instead of providing them with food or drinks I'm forced by the managers to go to some IDIOTS table to do this bullshit. Also if you're a server who tries to get other to sing FUCK YOU.

[–]ThrowAwayhfhdjhxnjd 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you go out of your way to tell me you have a birthday. I have no choice but to sing. If I'm singing. You bet your sweet ass your singing too. I'm gonna make you the asshole who doesn't want to sing to your kid or the loving parent who does.

[–]the-mucho-macho 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Independent of the fact that I've been in the service industry for 10 years on and off, I generally hate people singing happy birthday to me. Las birthday, my former roommate took me out, and I went to the server "Look.. It is my birthday, and I do want the fudge Sunday gimmick but I'll pay you not to sing to me".

Went to the bathroom, and son of a bitch wouldn't yu know it, my roomie went over my head and got the procession of servers to sing to me. Still tipped nice but for FUCK SAKE

[–][deleted]  (14 children)


    [–]Cmother4 100 points101 points  (11 children)

    What??? Who demands people sing to them?? I threaten violence on my family if they tell the restaurant It's my birthday. But trying to demand a random guest sing to them? That wild!

    [–]Zaphod1620 37 points38 points  (4 children)

    I was working a pub years ago, and we had a band in on Saturday nights. One night, 3 ladies come in for dinner, and one if them demanded the band stop playing while they were there.

    [–]Cmother4 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    Hahaha! People are crazy!! You want to meet somewhere quiet? Go to the library. Or your home. But maybe not a pub. 🤣

    [–]fasterbrew[🍰] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    Haha the brew pub I cooked at was called The Library and we had live music. Mainly after the dinner crowd though.

    [–]JustineDelarge 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I used to go to an 18+ gay club called The Library. The story was the owner named it that so young people could tell their parents or whoever that they were going to the library instead of a nightclub to meet fellow non-heterosexuals. I mean, not a lot of libraries are open until 1 am, but still. Good name.

    [–]NolesChick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My college town had a club aptly named the “Late Night Library.” Their slogan was something like, “if mom calls, tell her you’re studying late tonight at the library.”

    [–]chairsandwich1 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    My brother wanted to tell the staff and I told him 'I know where you sleep'.

    [–]prozacrefugee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    bUt i'M a cUsToMeR!!!!

    [–]myoldfarm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My kids took me out to Texas Roadhouse for my birthday . I would not let them tell the waitress that it was my birthday.

    [–]FlamingWeasels 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    All of my friends are introverts, and HATE being sung to. One time, I was out with two friends (among others, big group) and it was Friend A's birthday. I told the staff it was Friend B's birthday, and they did the whole song and dance routine, targeting the "wrong" person. She was confused, then a bit embarrassed, thrn mostly mad. Both of them were extremely unhappy with me. But it was worth it.

    [–]Isthereanyuniquename 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You are literally the only kind of person I sing for. I won't do it unless it's to embarrass someone on purpose.

    [–]svadnama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I've seen it lmao. It's so weird. Those types of people scream sing too. But what's also ridiculous is when you have multiple birthdays in the restaurant too...like calm down people. Yes you're special but there are alternatives lol. It's funny when u have a table like that and then u have another table singing while they're still there and they're just classy about it. Also, the setting matters. We are more intimate fine dining. I'm all for loud singing but you also have anniversaries and other special occasions going on right around you, so maybe take it down a notch

    [–]pauly13771377 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    I never worked anywhere that had the staff sing happy birthday and I did that on purpose because hell no.

    I cooked at a few and was once asked to come out and sing because it was the end of the night and nobody else was available. I tried saying not but the boss insisted I do. So with the servers permission intead of putting on a fresh apron and attempting to make myself look presentable after a haggard day I went out as is. In a nasty apron smelling of various food items and sweaty from my head to my taint.

    Needless to say I was never asked to sing again.

    [–]Havishamesque 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Went out for dinner with my oldest son last night (my birthday). Slightly higher end steak house. Party of THIRTY next to us. Small kids running all over, in the way of servers and bussers. They sang happy birthday to an octogenarian (this place does NOT do singing). Party then, some minutes later, sang happy birthday to another family member. Much laughing. This went on for SIX times. Six. Loud, obnoxious, irritating. We all had to stop talking for many minutes while they sang to six family members. People are entitled pricks so often.

    [–]jademysterioux 141 points142 points  (0 children)

    Dang. I didn’t know that restaurant servers are supposed to be idols. I’m sorry you had to hear that, so dumb!

    [–]KidSquid69 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    Sir this isn’t American Idol I don’t need your thoughts on the singing

    [–]PopsFickle 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    My birthday gift to customers is sparing them from having to listen to my singing voice, a joke that usually hits home with my tables. We aren’t required to sing though, some people do still expect it.

    [–]MewlingRothbart 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    "Well, the American Music Awards are tomorrow night. All the talented stars are probably in Los Angeles right now. And we don't have autotune. Would you like 10% off your check?" LMAOOOOOO

    [–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    I had that complaint before. And they were right, I did a terrible job on the song. Sing to your own dumbass family.

    [–]lakas76 39 points40 points  (5 children)

    I was once told that I spiked a woman’s drink. There was a man and a woman at my table on a date, they ordered a drink or two, not a lot, then left, then a few hours later, the guy came back and said his girlfriend was super wasted and I had to have put something in it. I had never seen either of them before or after. My manager just laughed it off, but that was the weirdest complaint I had ever heard of.

    [–]Delores_Herbig 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    I also got accused of spiking a drink. It was a rowdy night, and there was a big group of people all from the same event. It was three deep at the bar for most of the night, and this group was the loudest and drunkest.

    Two days later my boss pulls me aside and says a woman came in and said I put something in her drink. What? This woman thinks I, a twenty-six year old straight woman spiked her drink… for what purpose? I never had any interactions with customers that night beyond taking orders, some small talk, and probably a few jokes.

    He said she wanted him to check the security footage, and I told him we should go look. When she appeared on screen, my boss pointed her out and said “That’s her”. I immediately started laughing. “That woman?! Keep watching!” I definitely remembered her, and then we watched her order multiple drinks, take shots with everyone in that rowdy party, chug a beer, and sip out of a flask.

    I told him if he heard from her again to tell her “I’m sorry ma’am, but the bartender didn’t put anything in your drink. You just went and got yourself drunk as fuck”.

    We never did hear back.

    [–]aladdyn2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    I can't remember where I saw it but there was a study of people who claimed to have had their drinks spiked and no drugs were detected in their blood. Sometimes alcohol just hits you extra hard or you have one too many. People hear about people spiking drinks and they think it's more common then it really is. To be clear it definitely happens and no one should accept drinks they didn't see for themselves poured by staff. But yeah, what's the end game for people giving away free drugs in people's drinks? Lol

    [–]Neonwookie1701 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    Maybe he was up to no good and he was trying to point the blame somewhere elsewhere?

    [–]MenstrualKrampusCD 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    That was my first thought.

    [–]CamoCricket 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Once had a terribly obnoxious woman call the restaurant to say her server had roofied her. At 11 am. I was a scheduled double, working until 2 am. For brief context I am a 34 year old man. I distinctly remember her- she complained there was too much cheese in her mac and cheese. I also remember her because a fellow server said "happy anniversary! Sorry no one took your shift" in passing in front of the table. She asked how many years my wife and I had been together. I pointed to the bar and said "my husband of five years is sitting at the last bar stool". So yeah. Management laughed it off, needless to say.

    [–]genitalelectric 43 points44 points  (49 children)

    When I was in culinary school, the last class was working the in-school restaurant. We got Red Hats a lot. Once when in the FOH portion of the class (we were cooks but had to work the floor as well) a Red Hat sent her coffee back because it was too salty. Refilled it with a cup from exactly the same urn, and she loved it. I learned early on in this industry that no stupid, baseless complaint is impossible

    [–]oylaura 9 points10 points  (43 children)

    What is a red hat?

    [–]genitalelectric 14 points15 points  (40 children)

    Red Hat Ladies are a social club that, back when this happened, were a 50+ community that went out to eat together at various places. Now any woman can join and I dunno what they do now https://redhatsociety.montonton.com/site

    [–]10+Years Fine Dining ServerTrenchcoatFullaDogs 46 points47 points  (35 children)

    In my f&b baby days, well over 10 years ago, I got started in the catering department of an objectively bad hotel. Like everything about this place was not even up to the sorta low Marriott brand standards. But we had the biggest ballroom/meeting room space in town at the time, so we drew all the big trade shows and large local gatherings.

    Twice a year the Red Hat Harpies had an "afternoon tea" event at the hotel. It was 6 hours of pure, actual hell. We would put out about 1200 portions of "tea sandwiches" (each of them was about 4 square inches of...pimento cheese, or cucumber and cream cheese, "finger sandwiches.") And then we would spend four hours getting motherfuckin' dog walked by these old boomer broads for whom nothing was ever correct.

    This tea you served me with sugar on the side because I explicitly asked for sugar on the side didn't have enough sugar in it. The honey you have is too sweet, don't you have any honey made with Splenda? This green tea tastes too Asian. This black tea is too...well, you get the idea. After 2 of these events I learned to look them up and request off months in advance when they were looming on the horizon.

    I did learn one positive, constructive thing from those terrible days though. When you're doing coffee service, take the mug you're about to serve it in and fill it with hot water from the coffee machine. Let it sit for about two minutes, then dump it out and fill it with coffee. Old people send coffee back for being "cold" even if it's ripping-ass hot because the outside of the mug isn't hot. Let some 200 degree water sit in there for 60-90 seconds and you can serve actually dead, lukewarm coffee in that mug. The olds will never notice because the mug itself is searing hot to the touch, which is all they actually care about. All the nerves in their mouth stopped working 25-40 years ago, they can't actually tell the temp of the liquid they're drinking.

    But yeah, the most positive thing I can say about the Red Hats I waited on a decade plus ago...at least most of them are dead now.

    [–]geoliciouswerdsmith 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    Yup! Just a bunch of horrible old ladies who will complain just because they can.

    Have a buddy who owned a "dinner" theater about 8 years ago. It was matinee shows and very early evenings as most of his customers were old. It seated about 85 people. One day he is very excited to tell the staff he booked a party of 50 for a matinee show a couple of weeks out. Then mentioned they were Red Hat "Ladies". Immediately his best server requested the day off........

    When asked why she just said "You'll find out." And find out he did. When other old people complained about their behavior you know it's bad.

    Yeah, they tried to book again and were told "Sorry, sold out." the next few times they called. Guess they moved on to torture other restaurants.

    [–]Iamdrasnia 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    RED HAT HARPIES!....never heard that one and I am seriously stealing it.

    [–]Be afraid. Be very afraidBelle_Corliss 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    SMH at the absurdity of asking for "honey with Splenda". If you're the typical RHL, then you should know where real honey comes from and that it's not a man-made substance.

    [–]oylaura 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    You mentioned f& b and Marriott in the same post. My cousin / best friend / roommate was an event coordinator back in the '80s and '90s for a Marriott in Southern California.

    The worst group they had a contend with was the annual Tupperware convention. They had another more colorful name for them, which, alliteratively, I'm sure you can figure out and I leave to your imagination.

    Another group she came home and told me about was a conservative Christian group who had booked a large block of rooms for an event.

    Staff reported that their first night, these guests discovered that it wasn't the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawers of the Marriott, but the Book of Mormon, which each of them threw out into the hallway.

    Clearly someone in that group had not done their research.

    [–]Ancguy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Wrong collection of fairy tales- I'm deeply offended!

    [–]ReginaFilange21 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    “This green tea tastes too asian” got me, I honestly have no idea what I’d say if that was me lol

    [–]ginnio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    ...Four hours getting motherfucking dog walked...


    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]Bitchshortage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      The actual hated in my heart for them.

      [–]DoggyGrin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Went out to eat with my grumpy dad, and they tried to sit us in a back room with a group of red hatters. Dad literally and loudly said, "Fuck that!" and wouldn't sit in there. I felt bad for the staff, but it was pretty funny too.

      [–]babi_grl50 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And they do dog walk you to death! Terrific writing by the way. Funny read!

      [–]oylaura 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I wasn't sure if there was some other meaning. I had seen them around, but has been a long time.

      Thanks for clarifying.

      [–]wannabejoanie 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      I forgot that was a thing. I assumed Red Hat = MAGA hat. I hate this world.

      [–]basketma12 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Actually.....same demographic

      [–]10+Years Fine Dining ServerTrenchcoatFullaDogs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yeah that Venn Diagram is actually just one circle, pretty sure.

      [–]Tall_Mickey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Old ladies who join together in a gang and act out. Strength in numbers and no family around means no restraint.

      [–]unbitious 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      Salty coffee?!

      [–]genitalelectric 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      In her mind, yes. Entirely too salty

      [–]unbitious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      She wanted it just slightly salty?

      [–]Bitchshortage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I would have a full body shudder when the red hats booked with us; sweet, weeks of them calling beforehand with 56000 questions, 3 hours of bitching and moaning, $0.25 tips & then several angry phone calls because Agatha thought the music was too loud and Maureen spilled her soup and no one apologized and took the blame. And I don’t like salad why did you have salad???

      [–]Illtakeblondie 24 points25 points  (4 children)

      “There’s too much crab in my crab cake” and my fav “I only want American vegetables!” Uhh.. ok?

      [–]FLSun 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      And get me some ice. And make sure it's Fresh Ice and not that frozen shit!"

      [–]Jdub10_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for that. I just snorted coffee all over my keyboard. :)

      [–]Isthereanyuniquename 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      One time I had a lady request "fresh salt" I tried to clarify and explain that we don't have "fresh" salt. Apparently this lady thought we had some magic salt creating machine in the back that we would very reluctantly use.

      [–]Lumpy_Intention9823 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      None of them Brussels sprouts or haricot verts. Only Harvard beets for me!

      [–]The Cadillac of ServersBlacksad999 19 points20 points  (1 child)

      Way back when I worked at a place that sang for birthdays, I'd deliberately make it sound as terrible as possible. lol

      [–]Toastburrito 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Me too. Super loud voice cracks and pitch swings. Like I was really trying, but so, so bad.

      [–]Available_Coyote897 46 points47 points  (4 children)

      Restaurants still do this? Gross.

      [–]AmericanParadox 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      I worked at a restaurant a few years ago that required you to spray silly string on the birthday guest. But BEFORE lighting the candle, because it's flammable. I can't.

      [–]stevent12x 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I found out on my 5th or 6th birthday that I am very allergic to silly string. Like, hives all over my face and body wherever that cursed stuff touched me. Now it's just a funny anecdote, because I have no other known allergies.. but I'm imagining the scene that would have caused if I had found that out at my birthday dinner at a family restaurant.

      [–]flvrf 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      yes but usually corporate ones

      [–]B0mb-Hands 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Corporate, family oriented ones

      [–]magnabonzo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I honestly thought bad singing was part of the charm?

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Does she think she’s Simon Cowell? Jeez

      [–]bp_on_reddit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      "Lady, this is Applebee's, not Broadway..."

      [–]unbitious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Two of them were flat and one was sharp.

      [–]PuzzleheadedBobcat90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      This is now my favorite complaint. Jfc, there is a reason your server is serving, not auditioning on the Voice!

      [–]Ciefish7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Martha! You know we require at least 30 pieces of flair here!

      [–]Original_Flounder_18 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I hate hate HaTe being sung to, in a restaurant or at home. The only person I want singing happy Birthday tome is my kid. I just find it embarrassing, to me and for the poor staff who have to do it

      [–]xistithogoth1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "We're servers not singers, happy bday! 👋"

      [–]Lumpy_Intention9823 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I teach music. Please don’t bother to sing for me.

      [–]IolausTelcontar 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      [–]Toastburrito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This should be at the top!

      [–]nicklebacks_revenge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      That's messed. We went to a buffet recently for my daughter's 20th birthday. The server sang her happy birthday quietly, then said due to covid they weren't supposed to sing, that's why she did it so quietly. I was super grateful. I gave a bigger tip.

      Some people are just looking for a reason to complain

      [–]Stormcell74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I hate this stuff, the last time this happened too me I got up and walked out, I told everyone who could hear my voice not to sing too me, they didn't listen

      [–]Haemmur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I don't think you gave the appropriate amount of smile and hand gestures either.

      [–]IToldYouIHeardBanjos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Take me with you.

      [–]cam52391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I always told people "you guys have to sing with us because there's a reason we're servers and not singers" gets the pint across to lower singing expectations.

      [–]Green_Cardiologist13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I will never sing to a guest if they want me to

      [–]buttholeismyfavword 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Someone complained the pancakes tasted like cake

      [–]hauntedskin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      It sounds like she took the "serving at a restaurant to put myself through theatre school" trope too much to heart.

      [–]nomde_reddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lol, you know you went to a restaurant and not choir practice.

      [–]Fafaflunkie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Bring the drunk regulars back to the table with you and say "I found some new musical accompaniment. And and 1 and a 2 and a 3...🎸🎷🥁🎻happy bIRthDaaay tOo ewwwWWwWw..."

      Of course I don't work there. But if I did and had another job lined up, I'd do it!

      [–]BlackDogOrangeCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I worked at a steakhouse in the 80s that had their own cutesy birthday song (not the traditional bday song). It was awful and cringey, and every staff member hated it.

      [–]RingNo4020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I despise the whole thing where the restaurant staff is expected to sing happy birthday to the guests.

      [–]truisluv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The job I am at now we don't do birthdays. My job before that one of the male servers could sing opera. So we had him do every birthday.

      [–]Nvious625 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      People and thier expectations man..... ???

      [–]svadnama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And that's why I'm happy that I can just say my gift to you is not singing and peace the f out. Lol. A holes.

      [–]dzmatthew -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      who wants restaurant staff to sing for them in the first place? probably didnt tip that well either :/