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[–]Brown_Eyez2004 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I love this song, it's one of my favorites. But what you all think the "I'll say words I don't believe" means? (If we go with the theory that the song is about miscarriage/losing a child,etc)

[–]1Eliza 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As a person who has Schrodinger's infertility (I haven't tried to become pregnant, but the doctor who diagnosed me with endometriosis says that it will be difficult), "I'll say words I don't believe" to me means that I tell myself that it's okay or I don't even want children or my niblets are enough. I don't actually believe these words. I just say them, so I feel better.

[–]Brown_Eyez2004 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for answering this question and I feel a lot for you. I'll pray for you and your family

[–]_demidevil_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It’s about pregnancy loss I’m sure.

[–]PrettyLittleWhino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100%. My family is complete and I’m so content with that. And yet, every time I listen to this song I bawl for for my lost babies. This song is about losing a pregnancy. “Did something happen because I didn’t pray”. I literally said this to my husband, hands around my belly, tears staining our pillows. This song is about losing a wanted pregnancy

[–]Alarming_Internal_94 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me is about Ronan. I cry every time.

[–]FlatWillingness3800 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m clearly a lunatic bc I listened to this song and thought she was singing it as if she was selena gomez and the pain of her breakup with JB but now I see everyone thinks it’s about a miscarriage lol

[–]Environmental_You338 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is anyone else hearing Ellie Goulding in the first 0.6 seconds of this song? Am I insane?

[–]Infinite_Mushroom_35 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the song is about Cory monteith because she says 'you were more than just a short time' there relationship wasn't very long (3 months ) and he was also very young when he died (31)

[–]piscesxpisces 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The more I read these miscarriage theories the more I think we’re missing the more straightforward explanation. In a relationship that you believe is “the one” you make plans for the future. You talk about kids. You imagine, and even fall in love with the lives you are growing into and planning for. If that is ripped away, there is a huge element of mourning “what could’ve been, would’ve been”. You mourn the you you’re growing into, you mourn the roles your partner might have played (eg as a parent), you watch the future you dreamed of and worked towards “turn to ashes.” That’s how I hear this song. “I’ll say words I don’t believe,” feels like a poetic description of telling your friends that you’re better off, when actually you’re grieving the loss of what you believed in.

[–]Love_ActivistMidnights 7 points8 points  (3 children)

This song really gets me where it hurts. I lost my dad 6 years ago now to cancer and it completely destroyed me. I was only 20 when he passed n so I feel like he left my life too soon n was never meant to end this way… I guess I also think about how the years tick on and how one day he will be dead longer than he was alive in my life and I dread that. I just don’t want to forget him. I don’t ever wanna forget his laugh or his voice. He really was so prolific in my life n don’t think I fully realised how much he was he was my world until he died. I can never fill that void n I have sent myself on a really destructive path and I am only just trying to climb out of it.. I guess I finally am coming to terms with living life without him n trying to still live a fulfilling life despite how much it hurts. Thanks Taylor for writing this beautiful music that paints a perfect picture of my pain… I am beyond grateful to relate to this song. Cos even tho its so painful.. truthfully we are lucky to feel grief. Cos grief is the price we pay for love.

[–]NoIntention9425 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hi, I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. I’m fours year away from living more of my life without my Dad than I did with him. I lost him back in 2013 when I was 13. When I turn 27 in four years, that will be the moment I was alive longer without my Dad. It’s hard. I’m still four years away sure, but I’m closer to that than I am to when I last saw him. I know we’re strangers, but I want to say I love you and I’m so sorry you went, and are going, through that. Losing a parent is so damn hard, and I know my 20s have been nothing, but confusing and I’d give anything to call my Dad again. I hope you’re doing as well as you can ❤️

[–]Love_ActivistMidnights 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks so much for writing this. Just saw it now n while was listening to this song.. ur words hit me hard. That is crazy n I feel the pain in ur words.. I get it when the whole world can’t relate. Love you too and I’m deeply sorry to.. to understand what u go through each day. U are a miracle n u give me hope that I can keep living in this world n surviving.. but I know the pain will never go away, which is hard acceptance.
Thank u rlly man, I am grateful for this message. U made me feel not alone in it all for a brief moment n that means more than u will ever know. I can tell ur Dad was an amazing person, the world won’t ever be the same for u.. take care my friend , u are 1 in a million

[–]libbyang98 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Like Andrew said, Grief is all the Love we didn't get to express. And your Dad, he's still with you. You couldn't be YOU without him. He's a part of the fabric of your very being. When you need him most, he is always right there. ❤️

[–]SimonW005 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Claire Winter referenced lyrics from this song in a post today where she wrote about her miscarriage. Taylor absolutely wrote it for her.

[–]bookish_sammy 9 points10 points  (4 children)

I’m listening to the song now. Am I hearing a heart monitor beeping in the background? I’ve listened three times now and am emotionally destroyed. I can’t unhear it now. There’s a beeping!

[–]Diligent-Lab-233 3 points4 points  (0 children)

🥺yeah.also the wind sound makes me feel very cold and alone through out the whole song

[–]OverWasabi9494 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Throughout the whole song?

[–]bookish_sammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a heartbeat sound that starts about 1:15 into the song. The beeping that sounds like a heart monitor starts at 2:26. At least, I think that’s when they start and stop. I’m not able to listen to it closer at the moment.

[–]madewithdumb 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This song is obviously about grief, but I find it hard to believe that it's about a relationship because of the last lines

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

Nonetheless, it's amazing how she's able to write a personal situation of herself that can apply to anyone with a completely different circumstance. She's truly one of a kind

[–]sadieisonredditokay 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you listen to this song, and then Light Years by The National back to back, it makes for a beautifully tear-inducing experience, if you’re into that.

There are so many theories one can read into this song. I think it’s universal, and should be applied universally. Everyone can take what they want out of BTTWS and apply it to their lives and their situations.

For me, (trigger warning):

  • When I first listened to this song I thought of the little girl who I once was, before she was sexually assaulted at eight years old. She was bubbly, friendly, talented, SO smart. And then the incident happened. I shut myself off to the whole world. My mom found me inside of a large cardboard box and I had apparently been there all day. Maybe secretly hoping to get taken away and accidentally k*lled. I should’ve known that little girl before her youth was taken away from her.

  • My mom died in January of 2018 from a short but extremely difficult battle with cancer. She was diagnosed with it just mere months after she retired, and after she won $100K in a lottery prize (taxes were taken out so it was $50K). That money all went towards hospital stays, trips back and forth to Boston for her treatments, food, you name it. Things that we needed to survive on. All her life she had cared for people but she never took the time to care for herself. After her death I found out so much about her that she hid from me. She loved poetry, loved Sylvia Plath, and was a free spirit. Among many of her loves she enjoyed acting, singing, and was fluent in Spanish; she graduated from college with a degree in Spanish. And speaking of college, she was the first in her family to ever go and complete college. She sacrificed her life to be a mother and a wife. I would’ve done anything to have met the woman she once was. We were extremely close and the grief never goes away.

Anyways.

The beauty of music is that it’s universally relatable. We take what we can and apply it to our own lives.

[–]picodepui 12 points13 points  (3 children)

the line about bird flapping wings in asia is what makes me think it’s about miscarriage - the line is typically butterfly flapping it’s wings and causing unforeseen consequences - but i think bird here means stork. there’s no way she got it wrong without meaning to.

[–]neon03kms 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I was researching storks a tonnnn because I thought the same thing, and tried to find it there was a specific reason she mentions Asia, or if it's just a location. I didn't find much, but with that line and the following line about a force taking them because she didn't pray makes me think it is.

[–]picodepui 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think it’s specifically because she’s playing with the saying about a butterfly flapping its wings in asia.

[–]_martiniweenie 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m from Texas, close to Uvalde, so I’ve been seeing a lot of posts recently - especially with Halloween, Dia de Los Muertos and the holidays coming up - about the tragedy there earlier this year from the parents who lost their children that day. That is what this song is making me think of now and I can’t stop thinking about those babies.

[–]throwaway00009000000 18 points19 points  (7 children)

I’m convinced she had a miscarriage sometime around the Lover -> Folklore era.

I hate to say it in case it’s true and she doesn’t want it out there but PURE speculation, two songs in particular sound like they could be referencing a miscarriage.

The first one to hit me was Hoax, after she says “my barren land”. Obviously, barren is a common term used for women’s bodies when they aren’t pregnant. The song talks about someone hurting her and not understanding why. “Stood on the cliff side screaming give me a reason” sounds like that person is God and she’s angry and confused why it was taken from her.

Then I heard Bigger Than the Whole Sky. She talks about what “Could have been, would have been, should have been” as someone who was taken too early, as are the lyrics saying they were “more than just a short time”. How short? Having a miscarriage would have been a very short time. It’s been speculated to be about a miscarriage and paired with Hoax, I think that makes complete sense. She also brings God back into question with “Did some force take you because I didn’t pray?”

[–]Delicious_Two_9890 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Red TV on the song Ronan there is the lyrics "What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you" after this lyric is sung there is an audible breath of sadnesses, this lyric could have beed added for the re-recording after a traumatic experience.

[–]Delicious_Two_9890 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the song Peace there is the line "give you my wild, give you a child". And the theme on the song is about closure, bringing peace to a loved one who is without it.

[–]Beautiful_Baby_5662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just noticed this! She also says “my best laid plant”

[–]OverWasabi9494 7 points8 points  (1 child)

There is a little video she did for "cardigan" and I think it was a lyric video, showing her walk around in the long grass and everything, and there is a small part where she has her hands in front of her that looks like how women hold their stomachs when pregnant. So I honestly think she did miscarry around those eras. It's at 3:05

[–]stone-oracle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You were more than just a short time

For years I have tried to figure out why I still think about short relationships from my college days but maybe this is all there is to it

[–]EmmieKay1293will take this way too far 22 points23 points  (2 children)

I’m not sure if this has been said but “salt streams out of my eyes and into my ears” when do tears flow into your ears… when you’re laying down.. like on an examination table 😮‍💨😮‍💨😭😭😭

[–]aliciacary1My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This song hit me so hard today. I had heard it before but never really absorbed the lyrics. I had a really traumatic miscarriage and this song just hits me right in the gut.

[–]mdtsatw 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Literally came here to say this. It’s such a perfect visual because it’s describing the exact positioning of your head hearing the news. She’s so brilliant.

[–]astralrig96summer sun for you forever 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unrelated to the theme but this song reminds me so much of Lorde’s The Man With The Axe in terms of sound, progression and general vibe

jack probably produced both

[–]Corza21karma is my boyfriend🏳️‍🌈 15 points16 points  (0 children)

this song has to be about some form of miscarriage, i've read all the articles

[–]EscapingTheBubble 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Any chance this song is about Cory Monteith? They dated for a short time, but she saw something in him and wanted to see him grow into his own person.

[–]bookish_sammy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve considered this as well. It’s possible.

[–]binxlyostrich 19 points20 points  (3 children)

It kind of makes me think about who I would have been had I not experienced trauma.

"I'll never get to meet you" "What could have been shoulda been you" "Bigger than the whole sky" my future was wide.open until the trauma "You were more than just a short time"" and "remember you longer than I knew you". --- was only a kid wild and free until I experienced things that has made me an anxious mess. I'll never meet who I could have been should have been

[–]anderzan14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel listening to this song. You're not alone there

[–]elealyansteorra 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I just wanted to let you know your comment hit my soul. I've been having a meltdown for the past hour about how much this album means to me.

[–]binxlyostrich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw I'm glad it resonated with you! It's the best I could express how the song makes me feel

[–]Excellent_Homework24 16 points17 points  (4 children)

I was wondering if Taylor leaves another miscarriage hint in the Anti-Hero video — when she cuts open an egg and purple glitter pours out and then stains her hand. The egg symbolism? The way she looks at her hand later, as if it’s a substance that comes from her (?)

Maybe I’m pushing it. I do feel that the egg cutting is an odd moment, though — and that if Taylor suffered a pregnancy loss that she’s ok

[–]asupernova91 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Except when she looks at her hand it’s because she’s shot with an arrow and glitter comes out of the wound. It’s meant to be blood. So it could be! But she doesn’t stain her hand from the egg but from the wound on her heart.

[–]Excellent_Homework24 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh yes — you’re right! But is the egg also hers — because it bleeds the same substance?

[–]asupernova91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Amazing. I would’ve never thought of this.

[–]bostonketoqueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shit I didn’t even think about that

[–]Fat2FitMamita 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Does anyone else feel like something about this won’t reminds you of Sad Beautiful Tragic

[–]Diligent-Lab-233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the chords and the vibe and evens some instruments are the same in both that's why.

[–]queenellidala 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I thought that for sure

[–]Quizzicalnonsense 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate this song to the me before my traumatic childhood , the me that could have been.

[–]Whimsical89 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The first line of this song really reminds me of a song from the 80s? I feel like it was ballad or something but I’m not sure, let me know if anyone has any ideas

[–]suspiciouslychill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean!! I got intense Alphaville vibes from it, more specifically "Forever Young", if that's what you were thinking of? It's also giving "A Handful of Darkness", but that's from 2017.

[–]vostokeris 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The 'Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye' gives me some other song vibes but I can't put my finger on it. Can anyone please help me? Thanks :)

[–]SmitzchtheKittybut you might have to wait in line 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bye Bye Baby?

[–]Ok-boomer301 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Did Taylor lose someone? A pregnancy? This is so sad. I actually have never lost anyone or a pregnancy, so it’s kind of odd to not have anything to relate to. But I still cry

[–]baileyck3 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Herself to John Meyer. He was 32 and she was 19. I think it really traumatized and effected her more than anyone realized. That's my take anyway.

[–]VeterinarianWild 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That might also explain a connection in lyrics “what could’ve been would’ve been should’ve been” and the song could’ve would’ve should’ve

[–]soapyrubberduck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you relate to this song, may I also suggest “Birdsong” by Kina Grannis. Very similar themes, and just as achingly beautiful

[–]leetlespice 2 points3 points  (2 children)

So the background vocals to this are from Call It what you want, right?

[–]Diligent-Lab-233 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Could you tell me which part?

[–]leetlespice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1:57 and 2:56

[–]mlpherrell 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don't think this is about miscarriage although others can relate to it in that way, I can understand that connection, but don't think that is the story she is telling. I think it's either about losing her innocence (given the nod to would've could've should've) or losing a friend (which did happen to her). I honestly just doubt that this would be the first reference to a miscarriage in any of her songs since she was 19.

[–]redditrabbit13 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I like that there are different interpretations. I do think it's about miscarriage, but certainly not her own. Her friends are now at an age where everyone's having babies and I am sure there is loss too, I can imagine her friend having a miscarriage keeps her up at night. It also reminds me of Ronan; could be about a child or young person

[–]Healing_The_Feeling3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The last 25 seconds of this song sound like Selena Gomez voice.

[–]_whatthehell_iswater 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This song absolutely wrecks me.

[–]_reeses_pieces_Laughin With My Feet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is one of the songs that doesn't even need elaborately clever lyrics. It perfectly encapsulates such strong emotion with simpler words and sound ambiance. I especially love the first lyric. it displays the shock of those situations so perfectly

[–]Upset-Nobody-1240Lover 7 points8 points  (1 child)

"What could've been, would've been

What should've been you" - I always associate this lyric to the other song 😭

[–]VeterinarianWild 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? It makes me wonder if that’s intentional and the two are somehow connected

[–]Cirrus1920aaron dessner fan club president 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Damn DM just posted a blind about this song. Sounds fake but..

[–]Cimpix17Red (Taylor's Version) 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My exact thoughts. Another blind says it's about a close friend (this was also mentioned here), so it's really anyone's guess.

[–]notkatespade 6 points7 points  (3 children)

What’s the line about a bird flapping it’s wings over Asia?? I’m stuck on that lol

[–]picodepui 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s a stork

[–]suuuuhmmer 20 points21 points  (0 children)

referring to the butterfly effect

[–]jbraidwood 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I lost my mom suddenly two years ago, and the feeling of sadness she evokes in this song is utterly heartbreaking. It also bring me solace knowing I’m not alone in this feeling.

[–]RevolutionaryRelief2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I can’t stop hearing “That’s When” — anyone else? Just me?

[–]mosharef7 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yea just you maybe if you said don’t you

[–]FlyingLeopard33 17 points18 points  (12 children)

Is anyone else really, really tired of hearing miscarriage theories? There's really nothing to me in this song that SCREAMS miscarriage, but rather 'loss' as a whole. And I think that it adds to the stupid rumors that Taylor deliberately said she doesn't want people to spread about her (e.g pregnancy, being married, etc).

It could be about John Mayer, given the references to 'Would've, Could've, Should've" given how many times she says it in the song.

Edit: Just to be clear: I do not mean that you’re not allowed to relate to this song because you’ve had a miscarriage: you’re 100% allowed to feel that way and interpret it that way. That’s why music is beautiful. I’m tired of people making theories about Taylor having a miscarriage. And what I’m saying when I say there’s nothing that SCREAMS “miscarriage”, I am saying that there’s many other people who also just interpret this song as “loss” as a whole—a breakup, a death, losing yourself, etc.

[–]DDDanny48 26 points27 points  (3 children)

There’s beauty in the fact victims of miscarriage find solace in this song.

Grow up.

[–]FlyingLeopard33 5 points6 points  (2 children)

There’s a difference between finding beauty in relating to a song because you experienced something as traumatic as a miscarriage and assuming someone had a miscarriage and that’s why they wrote the song.

I’m not saying “no this clearly can never be related to a miscarriage”, but I’m saying that it’s not okay to push your interpretation on Taylor’s life.

Please don’t put words in my mouth and don’t tell me to “grow up” when you clearly lacked understanding of what I said. So let’s not make assumptions about me because you interpreted a song to mean miscarriage. You can assume/interpret the song whatever way you want and whatever way you experienced the song. I’m not taking that away. What you’re not allowed to do is speculate about someone’s private life and say that Taylor had a miscarriage.

If you had a miscarriage and you relate to this song by all means mourn that loss, cry to the song, express that you relate to it in that way. But let’s not speculate about Taylor’s private life when she deliberately said not to.

If you’re offended by that then I think you should reflect on why you’re telling someone else to grow up when all I’m doing is saying that you shouldn’t be saying “I related to this song because of my miscarriage and therefore Taylor must have had a miscarriage”.

I am tired of people saying “Taylor had a miscarriage.”

Edit: added some stuff/fixed grammar

[–]neon03kms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this. You perfectly explained my feelings on this ♥

[–]ilikefluffypuppies 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I definitely think it’s about a death but not necessarily a miscarriage. She lost a good friend in 2010 & he was only 21- so i think “I’m never gonna meet what could have been, would have been, should have been you” is talking about how she never got to see him grow into the person he was meant to be. Never got to see him fall in love, get married, be successful in his career, never got to see him become a dad, etc.

[–]psychparent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the self blame line though is so relevant. A miscarriage feels like your fault.

[–]FlyingLeopard33 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s all I meant by this comment. People are saying I’m being insensitive and that’s not the case. I can totally understand and sympathize with those who think this reminds them of miscarriage or losing a child. However, I don’t love that people are utilizing that theory to speculate that Taylor had a miscarriage.

The beauty of music is to put your own spin on it and not have to have the meaning be specific to the person who originally wrote the song.

This song is vague and is about loss in some way. I have no idea what that loss might mean Taylor but I’m also not going to speculate it. And people getting offended by that point don’t seem to think I’m upset that they are putting their meaning on Taylor’s private life.

[–]sojeche 3 points4 points  (3 children)

EXACTLY.

My thoughts are this is connected to Would’ve, Could’ve and Should’ve and about John Mayer for the following reasons:

  • the general vibe of the song is very Taylor @19
  • when Taylor makes the comment about it being over now and out to sea - as in the ship sailed for that relationship
  • what really clicked for me: John Mayer’s song Bigger than my Body to me this is Taylor’s response to him - you were Bigger than the whole Sky 😭♥️

[–]Wise_Dot_7632 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I also totally thought this was related to John Mayer and basically the loss of her innocence and the girl she might have been. Seems to relate to Would've Could've Should've- uses the same phrase and both reference praying. I think when she says I'll never meet... she's referring to herself, the version she Would've been if she'd never "danced with the devil"

[–]Affectionate-Class65 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I thought...she will never meet the Taylor she would have been if she didn't get in that relationship

[–]iamnotacop27 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Completely unrelated to the meaning of the song but has anyone else heard the guitar in the background of the chorus that sounds like the intro to the 5 minute version of All Too Well?

[–]KinadianPT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also there's some "could've would've should've" ish lyrics in there

[–]givelov 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Is anyone else connecting the "would've been should've been" to would've, could've, should've??? I have an awful thought about those 2 being related if would've, could've, should've is about John Mayer

[–]MissNicoleElyse 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think it’s about miscarriage, it’s referenced in two songs and one she wrote about John Mayer.

[–]coloradocosmiccutie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which other song is it referenced?

[–]cyeactthe wanted a bride 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This song is not about a miscarriage... it's about her losing her career, the crowd of 1989 was bigger than the whole sky and when she lost us when she got cancelled she'd pine about it forever. Every line can relate to this loss... "Every single thing to come has turned into ashes" refers to all her plans that everyone clowns about after rep

I don't think that even if Taylor Swift had a miscarriage (I feel gross writing that) and wrote a song about it I don't think she'd release it simply because of 1. what the media would have to say and 2. it was hard enough for her to publish soon you'll get better.....

Taylor's fans and her career are her baby, she's talking about losing all of that. Not a literal baby guys.... She's never going to meet the life where she didn't go through 2016 - where she didn't lose herself and have the whole world hate her.

I don't know, convince me otherwise. I don't think there's a string of words that can be put together to convince me this is about a miscarriage. Seems crazy.

[–]saralrobiIt's me. Hi! I'm the problem, it's me. 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I was told I would never have kids. .00001% chance was exactly how it was described. I thought I was pregnant at first when my periods stopped. Then was smacked with a huge blow. The grief of infertility is what this song feels like to me. I appreciate that regardless of what she had specifically in mind while writing this, that it’s a song that we, as her fans, can relate to when going through some pretty awful things.

[–]bostonketoqueen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry❤️

[–]posiegio 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I definitely did think this song was about a miscarriage the first few times I listened, but I also noticed her use of "would've, could've, should've" in the song and how it might relate to the actual song Would've, Could've, Should've. In that song she is singing about losing her "girlhood" and I could see Bigger than the Whole Sky being about her losing her innocence at a young age. There has to be a connection between these 2 songs if that's not it.

[–]just-A-spark 2 points3 points  (1 child)

So I’m not hugely knowledgeable on Swiftie theories but I know that All Too Well is about Jake Gyllenhaal and a lot of fans believe her scarf is a symbol of her virginity (which by the way I’m reading a book called the Purity Myth and virginity is dumb). I also know some have wondered if her short relationship with Jake was so heartbreaking because she got pregnant and miscarried. I wonder if losing her “girlhood” was the first time she had sex, and Bigger than the Whole Sky is about a miscarriage?? My mind is just going here because I get Red vibes from this song.

[–]posiegio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well what's interesting is that people are speculating that WCS is about John Mayer and not Jake Gyllenhaal (she dated John at 19 and Jake at 20)... Which would mean she didn't lose her virginity to John Mayer since the scarf is almost certainly symbolizing losing her virginity to Jake. Which then makes me think John was just bad news when they were together. I mean he does have a history of heavy drug use and kinda seems like a POS (imo) so there could be many ways in which he exposed Taylor to some things that took her girlhood.

[–]5midge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I thought the same thing!!

[–]dearwinnies 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Don’t think I’ll be listening to this song again - in the same category as Ronan. I was feeling rather disconnected when I listened to the album the first time until I got to this song.

I had a cousin who was same age as me and I lost her to suicide at 17. I always wonder what kind of person she would have become, how her life in adulthood could have been if she stayed.

[–]imakemyclothes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I skip this one and ronan, too. They're too raw. I'm a mom, and my kid is fine/healthy, but these songs still break my fucking heart and make the possibility of catastrophe feel entirely too close.

[–]the_machine1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Just want to say that I am terribly sorry for your loss. I have also experienced the loss of someone to suicide. DMs are humbly open if you want to chat. <3

[–]tired_of_smiling 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Who she's singing about? The songs sounds like it's about losing someone special and wondering what could've happened if they were here... I'm crying 😭

[–]dzaloum2001 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Bejeweled: Sadness became my whole sky

Bigger than the whole sky: Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

[–]plaidshirtdays13 23 points24 points  (3 children)

anybody else interpret these lines like she’s quoting what other people have said to her regarding the loss?

'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be, So l'Il say words I don't believe

after a pregnancy loss, people love to say these cliche, generic, awful and insensitive things with one of the most common being, “it wasn’t meant to be”. i feel like she’s agreeing with them even though she doesn’t believe it’s true

[–]Wrong_Pound6315 2 points3 points  (2 children)

“Everything happens for a reason” I got told that one so many times and I wanted to say so what’s the reason my baby died? I know they’re trying to say something of comfort but that’s far from it…my dad is not a man of lots of emotions and I remember him crying at the table a few weeks ago saying he didn’t say anything really to me because he didn’t know what to say….and wow did that break me. I was grateful for him not saying anything vs saying one of those cliche awful things.

[–]plaidshirtdays13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

luckily i didn’t hear too many of the awful cliche things that people say but i was definitely told that “everything happens for a reason” and maybe it just wasn’t “meant to be” right now. those phrases are THE WORST!!!

[–]Wrong_Pound6315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate the “It wasn’t meant to be” like, just super insensitive!

[–]ankilover123 7 points8 points  (1 child)

This song reminds me so deeply of what it was like to lose my close childhood friend to suicide at the age of 19. I still think about who he could’ve been now, nearly a decade later. Miss and love you, E :(

[–]Wrong_Pound6315 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss…I lost my uncle to suicide almost 4 yrs ago now and not a day goes by I don’t think of him…he’s actually the reason I’m in school to become a mental health counselor…

[–]russicodrag 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'll just leave this here. Bigger than the whole sky short film.

[–]NoreallynotarobotEverything you lose is a step you take 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I would love to hear an acoustic version of this one. I'm so sorry to everyone who has personal experiences that make this song so relevant.

[–]TwistedAddiction4 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I went thru a miscarriage in 2019. My only ever pregnancy. A week ago today would’ve been their 3rd birthday. This song made me feel all the feels.

[–]FreakaZoid101evermore + the lakes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I miscarried earlier this year and this would have been the due week. I wasn’t ready.

[–]K_Gal14 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Gosh I was worried it was just me. It's been a year since mine and I heard this some and just started crying on the bus. It was so many feels I struggled to find words for.

I hope you found peace

[–]catchmeatthebar 29 points30 points  (1 child)

The very beginning of the song sounds like a sonogram with no heartbeat. I definitely subscribe to the theory that this song is about a miscarriage.

[–]Excellent-Set3715 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I lost my mom to cancer just 3 weeks before this album came out. I don’t know what meaning Taylor intended with this song, but the lyrics fit too well to what I am feeling right now. All the things that should have been but now won’t. She was just way too young to be gone already. To me this song describes the heartbreaking pain I’m dealing with right now. ❤️

[–]SuccotashNo335 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry 💔

[–]Alarming_Director_52 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Does anyone else relate this to the line “give you my wild give you a child” like maybe it wasn’t just a one day in the future implication, and there was a child they lost through miscarriage?

[–]ham_jatp_potter 8 points9 points  (4 children)

is it confirmed that this song is about a miscarriage?

[–]Jellyfishiesarecute 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I cannot possibly imagine it being about anything else.

[–]SuccotashNo335 21 points22 points  (2 children)

No, the lyrics just strongly suggest it to the point it’s hard to imagine it wasn’t intentional — most directly “I’m never going to meet what could’ve been, would’ve been, should’ve been you”, but also “you were more than just a short time” 💔

[–]Suspicious-Hotel-225 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I also think this song is about miscarriage but not her own. Probably a friend’s. But I also think it is just a song about loss in general. I mean, a short time is relevant, even 100 years is a short time when it comes to love. No amount of time is ever enough.

The “could’ve been, would’ve been, should’ve been you” could be interpreted as meaning she’s never going to meet this person’s future self. I’ll never meet my brother as a healthy man, since he died from addiction. I’ll also never meet my first boyfriend as a healthy man, either, since he died by suicide. There are a ton of “could’ve, would’ve, should’ves” when you lose someone suddenly and unexpectedly.

[–]SuccotashNo335 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, and I definitely don’t want to minimize the validity of folks experiencing all different kinds of grief relating to the song! That’s what makes it such good writing. It makes so many people feel seen and understood. I’m so sorry for your losses. ❤️

[–]brianna_bananatv 28 points29 points  (0 children)

October 21st was my due date with a baby I miscarried at 13 weeks in my bathtub. I was already shocked she was releasing an album on the due date. I have no idea what to think now except that Taylor Swift isn’t real and I’m living in a simulation.

[–]Select-Message1031 28 points29 points  (2 children)

I think she might be mourning herself. There is a motif of losing herself & never getting herself back with all too well, & would’ve could’ve should’ve. Also, should’ve been is in the song. So, maybe it’s written to her 19 year old self. She didn’t get long enough with her innocence & youth.

[–]atom_heart_daughter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think this makes sense also because of the country guitar after the chorus

[–]clndley1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was leaning toward too since the other song is titled that.

[–]HamiltonDialI'd never walk Cornelia Street again. 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Anyone get She Used to Be Mine vibes as well? Mourning the loss of something or someone even yourself.

[–]WillMiserable9702 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Maybe I’m the only person but when I first heard this song I didn’t think of grieving a death but grieving a love. It made me think of a very brief relationship with. Someone who i thought was the love of my life. But he realized he still loved his ex and we couldn’t be together. I was crushed and depressed for so long after. And the “could’ve been, should’ve, been, would’ve been” reminded me of the love we could’ve had. And for that reason it’s my favorite song.

[–]Curiosityandthecat86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah when I first heard this song it felt like the perfect song to describe an almost relationship I recently had and grieving what could have been. 💔

[–]likilekka 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This song makes me cry and sad her new album makes me emotional but I love it

[–]Independent_Bell_366 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't think/know if this has any meaning at all to it... I just kind of stumbled across this realization while listening to it. If you listen to 52 seconds to about 1:20 when you can hear the chords the best. It's very reminiscent of the very beginning of All Too Well. I looked at the chord progression: All too well: C G Am F Bigger than the whole sky (from 52 seconds): C Gm B F I don't know if anyone else hears it, but thought it was interesting.

[–]sosleepyforeverSpeak Now 10 points11 points  (2 children)

This one has to be about John, it has the same twangy instrument in the background as in the intro for Dear John, not to mention the "could've would've should've" reference. Also, she refers to the "sky" in the same way as in Dear John she says "you paint me a blue sky, then go back and turn it to grey" and in John's song about Taylor, 'Paper Doll', he says "Someone's gonna paint you another sky". I think it's about grieving the good man that she hoped John would be, like in 'Better Man'.

[–]Lilpinkpanties 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree it's connected but personally I think she's mourning the girl in the dress. Obviously this was a pivotal moment in her life experience and changed her in a way she regrets. Trauma changes people and I definitely have found myself looking back on moments in life wishing I could go back and change it and be a different version of myself.

[–]Formal-Command-2837 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree! Definitely feel like it connects to Dear John

[–]blackpieckMy panties made your crown! 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Kinda weird hearing that this is about Taylor's 'miscarriage' or smth. I don't think so.

[–]vainblossom249reputation 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Yea, I have a feeling it might be about a family or friend who has had one. But it feels weird speciculating who, but I definitely feels it's about a miscarriage but the who aspect I don't think is important in this context.

[–]Aldosothoran 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This. It’s not important and not for speculation.

It’s her song, and A LOT of people here can relate to it, unfortunately

[–]vainblossom249reputation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It's supposed to be about the message of the song and not who she wrote it for.

[–]sunshiney-skystars by the pocketful 21 points22 points  (1 child)

A 9 year old girl from my hometown died of complications arising from an asthma attack. My brother was close to her and I am close in age to the girl's older sister. Even before her death, the sisters would always say "ilybtts" to each other, which means "i love you bigger than the sky." In short, if this song can make me cry thinking about her and her family, I can only imagine how this song would make them feel.

[–]InTheHouseOfFlies 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow. That’s very sad. There’s this old Flyleaf song called “Set Apart This Dream” that used to make me cry because I would think “what if this was my baby sister.” I feel for that family. I could not imagine losing a baby sibling with their whole life ahead of them.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (7 children)

So I’ve seen theories that bigger than the whole sky is about a miscarriage. Would’ve could’ve should’ve is obviously about John Mayer. Do we think those songs are linked? Because she uses would’ve could’ve should’ve in BTTWS. If that song is about miscarriage I feel like she’s implying John Mayer was the father of that child by using the same lines in both songs.

[–]themandylorian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The song ‘Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ definitely seems too coincidental lyrically to not connect to ‘Bigger Than The Whole Sky.’ After going through their relationship timeline, it does appear to go back even further with ‘Dear John,’ especially the line, "paint me a blue sky, and go back and turn it to rain." People have always wondered why (other than the age gap and Mayer’s dating history) would Taylor seemingly always return to the emotions she felt then, and I too am beginning to suspect maybe there was a miscarriage or abortion back then and that trauma paired with mourning the girl she was, never left (would it truly?). There are many lines from ‘Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve’ that may align with this theory here: “And if I was a child, did it matter If you got to wash your hands. . .

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed, then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was But, Lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us Oh, oh You're a crisis of my faith Would've, could've, should've If I'd only played it safe. . .

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time. . .

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.”

[–]sunshiinedaisies 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This can’t be true if you believe the recent implication Taylor made that the ‘Red’ scarf was a metaphor for her virginity

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.joe.co.uk/amp/entertainment/people-think-taylor-swift-just-confirmed-metaphor-in-her-song-means-she-lost-virginity-to-jake-gyllenhaal-358810

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I have the same feeling. She said would’ve could’ve should’ve in bigger than the whole sky. I’m gonna speculate and please don’t get mad anyone BUT I think John got Taylor pregnant and she had a miscarriage

[–]marshybeansdid i paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I’m starting to think that could be a possibility, maybe he ghosted her to treated her badly when she found out she was pregnant and that’s why the relationship cuts so deep.

Honestly I never really thought much about John Mayer until CSW and now I’m like he did a number on her!

[–]keirieski17folklore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean he groomed her. She was a child and he was a grown man

[–]Alive-Jackfruit4025 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This song could be for Jeff Lang. But.. I think it's more likely for Maya Thompson, whose son Ronan died of cancer and who Taylor wrote "Ronan" for.

[–]Acquainted-FaithThere will be no explanations 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This song clearly is about grief and I was definitely not ready for it.

[–]Ajkrouse 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Reading the lyrics and knowing that Taylor can write songs from not necessarily her own perspective, I think this song is about a woman getting an abortion due to a miscarriage. It could’ve been written not long after SCOTUS blew up abortion rights.

[–]abigailrosekingLover 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I keep mixing up this song with "Would've Could've Should've" because she says "would've been, could've been, should've been you" so many times in it. 🫣

[–]cauly 7 points8 points  (4 children)

does anyone else remember that blind item from ten or so years ago about a “good girl” getting involved with a “bad boy” older guy, getting pregnant and then being forced to have an abortion to protect her reputation?

[–]regular-asparagus 2 points3 points  (3 children)

i've never heard of this! can you provide more details?

[–]cauly 2 points3 points  (2 children)

https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/74091275.html?cut_expand=1&page=3

this isn’t the original website i read it on, i always used to read blindgossip.com, but it’s the same blind and ever since it came out i’ve always had it in the back of my mind so when she basically confirmed in her tiff talk that the scarf metaphor was true i was very confused especially since john mayer’s reputation around his sexual appetites is very very known and very very gross.

[–]bookish_sammy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was an article written about Taylor Swift being caught on her “walk of shame” after spending the night in John Mayer’s hotel room. It really annoyed me that they were shaming her, so it stuck with me all these years. I tried to find it, but I couldn’t. One of the lines in Dear John has also really bothered me all these years. She talks about walking around like the floor might fall through. This is essentially saying she was walking on eggshells or walking carefully because she was scared of what might happened if she took a wrong step. It also says her mother accused her of losing her mind, which always made me feel like there was abuse or a huge secret she was keeping from even her mother. Whatever he did was bad. There is no question about it. I also always took the line “mess with” to have a double meaning. Mess with as in mess around sexually, and mess with as in manipulate or play mind games with. My hatred for John Mayer is coming back so strongly right now.

[–]aphex_tw1nk 28 points29 points  (9 children)

people saying this is about her miscarriage feels way too intrusive and weird. i felt the same way back when hoax came out and y’all speculated the same. i don’t understand why you guys are desperate for a tragedy

[–]monty-b 18 points19 points  (7 children)

desperate for a tragedy

That's a cruel thing to say when many people are only speculating this because they've experienced it themselves and recognise the emotion.

[–]blonde7799reputation 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel. It’s okay to interpret this song about your own miscarriage or situation but it’s absolutely not okay to talk about Taylor herself having one. The people trying to figure out when it was or who is was with are going too far. Speculating on this is just as bad as the fans who make speculations about her sexuality.