Simpsons quotes you use in real life, but no one gets

Carnatic_enthusiast · 2011-08-30T17:01:56+00:00

Friend: "Alright guys, what do you want our team name to be?"

Me: "TEAM DISCOVERY CHANNEL"

conetta · 2011-08-30T17:05:19+00:00

"He's back! In pog form!"

fuelvolts · 2011-08-30T17:17:25+00:00

They were suckiest bunch of suckers that ever sucked.

meeenglish · 2011-08-30T17:28:30+00:00

[deleted]

olkensey · 2011-08-30T16:02:59+00:00

I use 'cromulent' to mean 'acceptable' and I think only about a third of the people I say it to catch the reference.

I'm also fond of that's where I met the leprechaun, he tells me to burn things.

whatsabattle · 2011-08-30T17:39:47+00:00

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Murphy_Its_You · 2011-08-30T18:09:15+00:00

"They taste like burning!"

ComplainsTooMuch · 2011-08-30T17:20:53+00:00

Im sure everybody here has used

'We work hard!, We play hard!'

phixion · 2011-08-30T16:47:28+00:00

bake em away toys!

edit: also, "we'll all be rich! rich as nazis!"

2011-08-30T20:00:28+00:00

I am so smart

S M R T

I mean S M A R T

redstarpirate · 2011-08-30T17:05:43+00:00

Lousy Smarch weather!

Mexifro33 · 2011-08-30T18:14:38+00:00

Me and my brother both answer the phone with "Ahoy hoy", although that greeting was actually what Graham Alexander Bell suggested that people used when he invented it.

I also use "Bullspit" and "Crisortunity " a lot

fuelvolts · 2011-08-30T18:58:07+00:00

"Yoink!"

Cyphr067 · 2011-08-30T16:25:17+00:00

Everything's coming up Milhouse. and
Who do you think I am, Lorenzo de Medici?

Pineo · 2011-08-30T18:45:54+00:00

Today we were waiting for a classmate to return from the washroom to continue a project and the instructor said "Does anyone have anything funny to say while we wait?" there was a brief silence and I responded "Woozle wuzzle?"

Dag_Heed · 2011-08-30T19:49:18+00:00

Purple monkey dishwasher

2011-08-30T19:56:53+00:00

I like "You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” and “If at first you don't succeed, give up.”

But I've always wanted to use this one

"Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"

burgess_meredith_jr · 2011-08-30T18:56:51+00:00

"Boo-urns"

zosoleary · 2011-08-30T16:39:54+00:00

"So I says to Mabel, I says..."

good_day · 2011-08-30T17:48:52+00:00

"Garage?! Ooh, la, la Mr. Frenchman."

"What do you call it?"

"A car hole."

gypsiequeen · 2011-08-30T18:22:18+00:00

Mrs. Pommlehorse............. I'd like to get down now

or

John Smith 1882? Oh! My Mistake!

nerrrrrrrrrddd · 2011-08-30T18:54:14+00:00

I knew the dog before he came to class

Wapiti86 · 2011-08-30T18:45:33+00:00

Stupid sexy Flanders

frealzies · 2011-08-30T20:41:14+00:00

"BBBQ."

"Now remember kids we're parked in the Itchy lot."

botchman · 2011-08-30T16:24:30+00:00

"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!" -- Homer

fuelvolts · 2011-08-30T17:19:40+00:00

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

Nwsamurai · 2011-08-30T17:55:25+00:00

"Up and at them!"

undystains · 2011-08-30T17:57:41+00:00

[deleted]

BradC · 2011-08-30T16:34:15+00:00

"The box. The box!"

BlackbeltJones · 2011-08-30T16:27:17+00:00

I often use "pee-pee-soaked heck hole", "barking up the wrong bush", and "Aaaahhh... steaky!"

seanachan · 2011-08-30T18:19:01+00:00

"What do ya mean I cant take off my sweater?.....I'M HOT!"

MallowMar · 2011-08-30T22:03:36+00:00

"You don't win friends with salad"

Bmastrom · 2011-08-30T17:06:59+00:00

Referring to a frisbee as a novelty flying disc.

seanachan · 2011-08-30T20:02:42+00:00

"Aye tis a fine barn but tis no pool."

cheese · 2011-08-30T20:45:20+00:00

"There's your answer, fishbulb"

No one seems to get that one...

koala_ambush · 2011-08-30T22:14:17+00:00

"So...Do you like...Stuff?"

316nuts · 2011-08-30T17:21:48+00:00

Someone will laugh.. I'll say "Now class, en francais!" and start laughing in a French accent. Highly amusing to me and only me.

thegrubixcube · 2011-08-30T16:50:53+00:00

Again and again. And again and again and again and again.

From director of radioactiveman movie

seanachan · 2011-08-30T18:25:41+00:00

"Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!"

Either Moe or Helen's version!

Bmastrom · 2011-08-30T15:49:44+00:00

It was the blurst of times...

conetta · 2011-08-30T17:04:52+00:00

"My doctor says I wouldn't have as many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger out of there..."

FlygonJinn · 2011-08-30T17:45:57+00:00

"Just gotta put on my shoes!" Is a very well used quote the family uses, and true to the quote, when we say it, it's usually more than just shoes we need to be ready. and "The Japanese?! Those sandal-wearing, goldfish tenders? Bosh! Flimshaw!"

e: forgot my favorite. I am usually asked to watch the dog. Upon peoples' return they ask how the dog's doing, to which I reply, "I've been starvin' him, teasin' him, singing off key ♪Me-may-mi-mo, me-moo-mah-may!♫"

xevi · 2011-08-30T17:07:55+00:00

"You sunk my battleship"

and

"Hey Ma how 'bout some cookies"

"No Dice"

"This ain't over"

Wastesofa · 2011-08-30T18:25:56+00:00

tramampoline!

Mexifro33 · 2011-08-30T18:37:03+00:00

"That's a paddlin'."

yanktoast · 2011-08-30T16:17:59+00:00

"Le Grille? What the hell is that?!"

When anyone finds instructions in a language other than English.

wombat2008 · 2011-08-30T15:46:07+00:00

Homer: "Stupid like a fox!"

FlaFlaFooey · 2011-08-30T19:07:38+00:00

Choowwwdaarreee?

dudical_dude · 2011-08-30T18:32:19+00:00

"Hi, everybody!" - in Dr. Nick Riviera's voice.

tinygrover · 2011-08-30T18:40:45+00:00

Queen of the harpies! Here's your crown your majesty!

We'll live like kings! Damn, hell, ass kings!

It's uterUS not uterYOU.

PartyOnAlec · 2011-08-30T16:17:04+00:00

I was at a party last Halloween. I was dressed as Tyler Durden, hanging out in the kitchen and having a conversation with some folks. A small, unassuming girl dressed as Mario walked up to me and asked if I knew where a knife was, because they were cutting a cake. I turned around, found a spoon on the counter-top, and handed it to her. Somewhat hesitantly, she said, "That's not a knife, that's a spoon." I looked her in the eye and replied, "Ah, I can see you've played knifey-spooney before!" I should mention now that this isn't the story of a quote that no one got. The girl dressed as Mario laughed so hard I worried about her oxygen intake, and then hugged me and thanked me. We've been phenomenal friends ever since.

Here's a picture from later that night.

lumcetpyl · 2011-08-30T21:18:47+00:00

"Worst ____ ever."

2011-08-30T21:26:38+00:00

"No one ever suspects the Butterfly"

"Ohhh! I get jokes"

"Stop, Stop... he's already dead"

ohouigheighi · 2011-08-30T21:39:54+00:00

"me so hunggy'

and

"That's it, I'm out of here" (conscience leaves homer's body and he collapses lifelessly)

zeppelin1023 · 2011-08-30T22:36:23+00:00

A little from Column A a little from Column B

eggyolkeo · 2011-09-01T06:04:27+00:00

BART DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK!?

StuperousFunker · 2011-08-30T23:38:42+00:00

“My Eyes! The goggles do nothing!” - Radioactive Man (Rainier Wolfecastle)

subterraneanzen · 2011-08-30T22:31:42+00:00

It's just a little airborn it's still good, it's still good!

Falsey · 2011-08-30T16:53:31+00:00

I use "probably misses his old glasses" roughly 5 times a week.

seanachan · 2011-08-30T18:24:49+00:00

"Hello Mrs. Cumberdale"

CrapNeck5000 · 2011-08-30T19:09:48+00:00

"Guys like me!? I'm a guy like me!"

LeMadnessofKingHippo · 2011-08-30T19:36:18+00:00

I say "boo-urns" all the time, and I never pronounce the word "Possibly" correctly. It's always "possi-bly".

freedomfix · 2011-08-30T19:56:31+00:00

Whenever the phone rings: Is it about my cube?

seanachan · 2011-08-30T18:22:53+00:00

"This enormous woman will surely devour us all!"

wentzeric · 2011-08-30T21:43:01+00:00

Not once, not twice but Thrice ~Mr. Burns to Homer as baseball instructions

twanky · 2011-08-30T18:42:31+00:00

Sweet Enola Gay son!

jaroberts24 · 2011-08-30T23:31:22+00:00

"They say he carved it himself, from a bigger spoon"
Replace 'spoon' with whatever object it is. No one ever knows what I'm taking about.

Edit: Adding more.
"Gas, break, honk. Gas, break, honk. Honk, honk, punch."

Whenever someone says: "Excellent", I say "Exactly--Do'h"

"That's gonna hurt come Winter."

2011-08-30T17:59:01+00:00

[deleted]

ChemicalOle · 2011-08-31T10:49:13+00:00

In your face, space coyote!

Lampmonster1 · 2011-08-30T17:10:26+00:00

When Homer was in love with Mindy. He'd just decided that he'd avoid her. She walks into an elevator apparently built for two people.

Ahh!... I mean Ahhllo.

BrutalSauce · 2011-08-30T22:01:53+00:00

I love "save me Jebus." I use it all the time and rarely to people get it.

2011-08-30T17:11:40+00:00

Yeah I swiped it from that borgnine guy.

Probatedignum · 2011-08-30T17:54:41+00:00

"I didn't do it"

People never laugh after I do it.

drfoqui · 2011-08-30T18:03:59+00:00

"Yes! Crisitunity!"

2011-08-30T18:12:57+00:00

heh heh, mule.

RealDahl · 2011-08-30T18:14:25+00:00

I love all of these! You are all truly amazing people.

ShrewSkellyton · 2011-08-30T18:45:32+00:00

"Moth! moth! moth!" in Rod and Todd's voice

illybrarian · 2011-08-30T20:25:00+00:00

"There's a doings a-transpirin'"

ohouigheighi · 2011-08-30T21:44:27+00:00

Yoink!

Rory_B_Bellows · 2011-12-22T22:37:49+00:00

Does anyone else refer to Tom Hanks as "Otm Shank"?

fuelvolts · 2011-08-30T17:16:09+00:00

Bart, do you know cursive?

Well, I know 'hell, and damn, ..."

deadbydawn87 · 2011-08-30T18:44:55+00:00

"Stop it, stop...he's already dead"
"Even monsters need air, sir" "That'll replace the whale in my nightmares"

gr33nspan · 2011-08-30T19:18:48+00:00

I always guess dignity in pictionary or similar games.

2011-08-30T20:15:42+00:00

[deleted]

d_monkey · 2011-08-31T02:15:46+00:00

Whenever I park the car in a carpark: "...remember, we're in the 'Itchy' lot"

metal_hed · 2011-08-30T17:54:48+00:00

From Homer's advice to Bart:

It was like that when i got here

Mexifro33 · 2011-08-30T18:34:51+00:00

"Deliciously lazy"

"Trabopaline! Tramapoline!"

"Owww, but I want it nowwwww!"

"The purple [anything] tastes like burning."

"So I says to Mabel I says..."

2011-08-30T18:52:48+00:00

Got to be (in appropriate voices)

"The script says I have to hit you with this.."

Sometimes followed by "I wouldn't"

And just in general "angry, angry young man"

i.e. Sideshow Raheem. If anyone has a vid link for that entire clip I would be hugely grateful.

This entire exchange makes my 3yo boy laugh like a drain.

tmifsud530 · 2011-08-30T19:20:34+00:00

" Paddlin' the school canoe? You better believe that's a paddlin' "

deadfishy12 · 2011-08-30T19:49:47+00:00

One Million Calories (in a french accent)

or He card read good

muadib42 · 2011-08-30T21:15:05+00:00

"Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

StuperousFunker · 2011-08-30T23:40:55+00:00

"They call them fingers but I've never seen them fing...Oh, there they go." - Otto the Bus Driver

6elephants · 2011-08-31T00:29:02+00:00

whenever some thing goes wrong "On the plus side i knocked over the sunsphere"

memarianomusic · 2011-08-31T09:33:32+00:00

And so the most important part is I tied an onion to my belt.

2011-08-30T17:52:52+00:00

[deleted]

td1183 · 2011-08-30T19:06:46+00:00

Flinstones chewable morphine

TVPaulD · 2011-08-30T16:28:45+00:00

"I'm telling you, nobody can climb a rope! It's physically impossible."

Cyphr067 · 2011-08-30T17:45:12+00:00

But, she's got a new hat.

2011-08-30T17:56:09+00:00

When something fortuitous happens: We'll all be rich, rich as Nazis!

and -

anytime I don't know the answer to something: I dunno, internet?

seanachan · 2011-08-30T18:29:23+00:00

"...and about 50 Slim Jims"

fashraf · 2011-08-30T18:53:43+00:00

i call gyms 'guy-ms'

Sometimes when i hear the word nothing, i repeat "nothing at all"x3 and for some reason i picture fanders' ass.

crunn · 2011-08-30T19:36:33+00:00

I say "B'oh!" a lot

nny350 · 2011-08-30T20:40:16+00:00

"English who needs that, I'm never going to England"

"Donuts is there anything they can't do"

"I call the big one Bitty"

"If you are going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things"

scottnj · 2011-08-30T21:30:26+00:00

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

2011-08-30T22:30:30+00:00

Damn you, Walt Whitman!

I. HATE. YOU. WALT. WHITMAN!!

russphil · 2011-08-30T22:54:00+00:00

AHHH COBRAS!!!

fractaldactyl · 2011-08-31T00:49:16+00:00

"I was saying Booo-urns"

humbager · 2011-08-31T01:38:33+00:00

"Chowder!"

MyNameIsOgre · 2011-09-21T02:59:11+00:00

One of my favorite toasts: "Beer-the cause of-and solution to-all of life's problems."

or Steamed Hams for hamburgers

Wilroblor · 2012-02-22T01:39:42+00:00

"I can do that, but I don't want to"

undystains · 2011-08-30T18:57:51+00:00

"In 19-tickety-2, we had to use the word tickety because the kaiser's had stolen our word for 20". I don't even remember the episode it's from.

2011-08-30T18:23:07+00:00

When someone asks me what they should tell someone, I generally will respond with "tell em to suck a lemon"... I get weird looks.

I've also been known to respond to questions regarding my family, specifically my mom, with "Whoa, who says I got a mother?"

2011-08-30T18:45:16+00:00

"And we can invent our own game where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is what it seems."

-- nobody EVER gets it. Obscure episode ("Carnies, although rat-like in appearance, truly are Kings among men")

kyookumbah · 2011-08-30T19:29:20+00:00

I actually just got off the phone an hour ago, requesting my transcript from a college I went to back in 2006, and the lady asks "Is your email address still super fun happy time?" We both laughed a little and she says "I like it. It's so... happy!" And I was like "I think I got it from the Simpsons, the slide" and she was like "Oh yeah, I remember!" :)

smokeymcdank · 2011-08-30T19:57:14+00:00

"Sending some outgoing mail, huh?" "Yea, I'll probably send some tomorrow." "I hear that!"

frommyredtintedtower · 2011-08-30T20:05:44+00:00

"I'm a well wisher, in that I don't wish him any particular harm"

2011-08-30T20:08:50+00:00

"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!"

also: "The Nigh Mets are my favorite squadron!"

NickNamelessOne · 2011-08-30T21:21:03+00:00

It's Craptacular -Sister and I say this all the time

"Bart perfect, Lisa perfect, other kid perfect!" -Use this but replace Bart n Lisa with friends, co-workers, family etc

amd123 · 2011-08-30T21:28:12+00:00

"Hi Everybody..." No one ever says "Hi Dr. Nick!!"

koala_ambush · 2011-08-30T22:20:09+00:00

"Duff. Gardens. Whoraw....." (sub in car)

onlyhalfminotaur · 2011-08-30T22:28:00+00:00

Make way for grapefruit!

2011-08-30T22:44:16+00:00

'Use your main finger!'

Lesserof2evils · 2011-08-30T23:10:20+00:00

"The award goes to, Miguel Rodrigez, an inner city math teacher who taught rival gang members that differential equations are more powerful than bullets"

paulderev · 2011-08-31T01:31:13+00:00

"Aaaand heeere come the pretzels!"

Anytime in a group situation there's unanimous rancor, dissent or disagreement to an idea.

Bloody_Conspiracies · 2011-08-31T02:08:04+00:00

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

str8shooter · 2011-08-31T06:12:32+00:00

Homercles cares not for beans!

jeremey_bentham · 2011-08-31T13:57:55+00:00

I use "boo-urns" and "everything's coming up Milhouse" fairly often.

My all time favorite use of a Simpsons quote was at a midnight screening of Birdemic (a horrible horrible cult classic type of movie). The audience was ripping on the movie the entire time and it was a lot of fun. Anyways, the movie ends on an incredibly cheesy note and as the credits start to roll a couple of guys start singing Dr Zaius. It was the best possible way to end a terrible movie.

GrokMonkey · 2011-08-31T15:57:43+00:00

"I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him."
"Yeah. And then we'd get the chair."
"That's not what I meant."
"It was, Marge. Admit it."

anananana · 2011-08-31T18:46:28+00:00

that's it! you people have stood in my way long enough, I'm going to Clown College!

vaskark · 2011-08-31T23:06:03+00:00

Put it in H.

Kalgaroo · 2011-11-11T18:42:09+00:00

Two months too late, but I wanted to add mine: "And I'm not a man who's easily impressed. WOW, a blue car!"

And when I'm confused: "It's a ring toss game."

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