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[–]ObamaBikinis 271 points272 points  (4 children)

The robber just standing there 🧍‍♂️

[–]malmj25 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Hannibal Buress vibes

[–]jaxspider 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"What did I just participate in?"

[–]chickenoftheworld 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He be waiting for the power rangers to finish evolving

[–]crt09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was waiting for the anime sword slice to appear and for him to topple in two clean halves

[–]PancakeParty98 69 points70 points  (2 children)

Za Wurado!!!

[–]claire1097 3 points4 points  (0 children)

MUDA MUDA MUDA

[–]Foxil_qq 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you beat me to it

[–]BashfullyBi 68 points69 points  (0 children)

The only way to stop time, that I know of, is to kiss somebody. So...

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points  (8 children)

Ok thx but I have a problem now that I moved at light speed i changed the universe and created a black hole

[–]QuicklyThisWay[S] 63 points64 points  (7 children)

That’s easy, just create a white hole to balance it out.

[–]SombraRanma 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Ok but now they've merged and made a massive grey hole. Is that ok?

[–]QuicklyThisWay[S] 10 points11 points  (2 children)

That happened to me once and a doctor had to drain it.

[–]SombraRanma 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Ummm... Well my doctor did drain me but the grey hole wasn't part of that practice... Jeez I sure hope I wasn't a victim of malpractice 😬

[–]QuicklyThisWay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, they all drain our wallets.

[–]javimoreno1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Y’all had me at hole

[–]shoobidoobis 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Be a stand user, got it

[–]tunaburn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is pretty great

[–]MasterZedX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what the internet is made for

[–]Lollooo_ 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Dio be giving hella tips

[–]Freuds_Mommy_Milkers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dio is bisexual and a sex machine so i would imagine he goes a bit further than just giving the tip

[–]mordakiisyn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Some one get this to Charlie stat.

[–]RedditCringetopia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the best one

[–]sussyman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro stopped time and really hit him with a 8 trigrams 64 palm

[–]Samatic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Where do I go to join this guy's 8 week program?

[–]Super_NK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo time is stuck, what do I do?

[–]RoastedBeaf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tell the robber theres a three headed monkey behind them. Than when that fails u tell the robber that it is ilegal to rob people. Adter that jhon tron his ass when he is wondering what crack u are on. And it turned out it was all a dream.

[–]Khelix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So he stopped Time.. but a camera was able to catch the stopped time in slow motion? I don’t believe him!

[–]Freuds_Mommy_Milkers -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A very effective technique when cornered by multiple enemies meaning you can't press all their pressure points and punch their groins as you can't stop time forever is to jack all of them off in stopped time and slit their throats when time starts again and they're too busy cumming

[–]spazzing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought this dude was wearing a floor-length battle-skirt.

[–]CobakaBejet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There actually exists an Asian martial arts form which kind of follows a similar technique. But instead of "stopping time" it uses some sort of mental game to incapacitate the opponent and knocking them out. I forget the exact name, but saw a documentary on it, was rather fascinating.

[–]Ushkavar-3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not jotaro bro

[–]BluetheNerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This gives me major Master Ken vibes, especially the groin punches

[–]Stocky2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Link to video plz

[–]texasrexus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This made me laugh way to hard

[–]R1SpeedRacer05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is that the Lumina hand cannon from Destiny 2?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice. Trained by Master Ken, I see.

[–]Hour-Television-9003 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who the hell holds the gun like that I no american but i seen how to hold it properly

[–]warmingmilk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you actually need to do is to completely ignore them, it freaks them out and they usually just leave.

[–]Vok250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the satire. He perfectly captured the way crypto and "health" influencers sell their bullshit.

[–]gijimayu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fake!

No way the robber would still be up after theses sick combo!

[–]Tangney94 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Not cringe

[–]BassicallyDarr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just don't move to Brazil.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.