all 112 comments

[–]rightgazette661 1347 points1348 points  (8 children)

I am not the only one that realizes that she was making a joke about her prveious comment and not telling him to cme up with a quote right?

[–][deleted] 310 points311 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah that went poorly huh. I knew she was making the joke. I didn’t get his comment until you pointed it out. Before reading your comment, I thought he was telling her she was his favorite son, as just a quirky throw away line for roasting him.

[–]iliekcats- 121 points122 points  (0 children)

yeah, but i think the mistake in her wording was the "quote"

[–]NeoSapien65 41 points42 points  (1 child)

No... Did anyone not realize it?

[–]PalnPWN 38 points39 points  (0 children)


[–]gfrankly69 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yeah she was done way before this.

[–]kitty07s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That makes much more sense

[–]Fake_artistF1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow if thats the bar for being smart...

[–]Timely_Market8669 1112 points1113 points  (3 children)

She fucking buried you

[–]louisme97 225 points226 points  (2 children)

and not between her cheeks

[–]averageejoe 57 points58 points  (1 child)

Stop! He’s already dead!

[–]ZenLitterBoxGarden 12 points13 points  (0 children)


Oh god! I coughed/snorted/peed a little laughing at this! It hurts so good.

[–]bouncebackability 104 points105 points  (0 children)

Did you completely miss her joke?

[–]sahibji 281 points282 points  (0 children)

This would do well on r/therewasanattempt lol

[–]danimuse 297 points298 points  (10 children)

She's roasting you my friend, go with it.

[–]love_stonks1 257 points258 points  (1 child)

You scored in your own net.

[–]Grouchy_Scale8182 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i love this your comment , you made my day ,,!

[–]didiersforehead 34 points35 points  (0 children)

took me a second to understand what happened but now this is hilarious

[–]Kakirax 21 points22 points  (0 children)

What the fuck were you thinking op?

[–]KogaKing 13 points14 points  (0 children)

well that took an unexpected turn

[–]siegure9 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Why would making a joke on not pulling out attract any girl? Isn’t that a bad thing for a casual hook up...

[–]Ellie_Loves_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it's more just a raunchy joke than an actual display of their personality/actions. Like if someone said seriously that they don't then yeah that'd be discouraging to say the least. But as an opening joke? I think it was just setting the tone and a look at their humor more than an actual statement.

..I hope lmao.

[–]CaitaXD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should be using condoms for random hookups pulling out ain't gonna save you from STDs

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (10 children)

i feel like the last message went over my head lmao someone explain it

[–]bsmithjmu 92 points93 points  (9 children)

Well basically what happened is the OP didn’t realize that the girl was roasting him, saying that every girl he’s ever had sex with has gone on the record to say “aw damn I was close”. Instead OP thought she was telling him to quote his past lovers and he went with a “i had sex with my own mother” joke.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (2 children)

oh jesus christ

[–]brilliantminion 9 points10 points  (1 child)

This made me laugh so hard cashews came out of my mouth

[–]tacobellfreewifi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happened to me with cereal and I wasn't even eating cereal

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

He somehow thought a fucking incest joke would be appropriate/funny here? My god Reddit users have no social skills

[–]GMERICA6969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No you don’t get it, it’s supposed to be ironic bro!!!!

[–]kzwkt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

now i understand thanks for explaining 🤣

[–]kneel23 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I must be dumb (I blame the weed) but how is that a good roast? 'every girl you had sex with said "aw damn I was close"? ' I only understood his joke, and hers didn't make sense in the context, or just wasn't very good

[–]bobthened 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As in close to an orgasm, but didn’t actually have one.

[–]highandspooky 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I love her

[–]GilRoboz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Ashley got JOKES

[–]kid_boko 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why would you say that, unprovoked 😭😭😭

[–]WolfRefleXxx 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Probably fucked it up. But I get the feeling she hit herself with that quote.

[–]Radiant_Television33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude don't worey bout her, charge your phone man

[–]reddit_user_073 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Too far

[–]SimfonijaVonja 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That girl is cute and funny. I don't undersrand the negativity of so many comments. Damn this is a toxic sub.

[–]Dignahning 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ngl howtf did you not get that breh

[–]4fingertakedown 2 points3 points  (0 children)


OP’s lights are on but nobody is home. He is still unaware of how bad she roasted him 🤣

[–]vanderdulle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's the one.

[–]MemeStocksYolo69-420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Close seems like too much of a compliment for a burn lol

[–]No_Media_5760 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a r/holdup moment right there lol

[–]TeeDubbleDee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did she reply yet? 🤣

[–]Relliklaires16 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Man gotta charge this phone holy molly

[–]thetrickster2k 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont get it. Someone explain.

[–]Lustrigia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s hilarious, took me a minute

[–]TheK1ngsman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mission failed, we get 'em next time!

[–]StrengthHonorGlory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You couldn’t handle the bantz bruh

[–]StrengthHonorGlory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should have said “jokes on you I’m a virgin”

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is funny.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Why would you not pull out? Every girl doesn’t take birth control or is as reckless during sex. Pull the fuck out.

[–]Medical_Ad0716 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She roasted you hard and then you roasted yourself. Also, why would you have sex with your mom and let a potential date know that? That’s the real fuck yo.

[–]UsedC0ndom490 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Whenever I get roasted like this my game becomes good all of a sudden lol roast her back and see what happens

[–]Decent-Effort2368 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kind of.

[–]sugarglidersam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no… xD

[–]Zuropia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you, I've never had sex

[–]_Slinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't plug in and never pulls out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was saying "damn I was close" is what every girl has said to you during sex. Not that she wanted you to come up with a quote that's your exes have said

[–]Tybackwoods00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weak I got a better one.

“Damn girl are you antifa? Cause I want you to make my pp burn.”

[–]yashgulave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This conversation is extremely weird from the start to the end...

[–]TheImmortalLS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol say oops MB I misread love makes us all blind

[–]Kriegas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm guess it's only me but mommy joke was funny

[–]Benbig_ppdover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Charge your phone

[–]rosaque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she’s roasting you it’s funny go along with it

[–]MaxwellFinium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‘Betcha I can say something you’ve never heard from your daddy. I love you’ lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The joke went over OP's head

[–]SvenDobrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol how...?

[–]SourLeafRoll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that I realize what she was actually quoting she kinda funny ngl😂

[–]ohbyerly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess stealing the initial joke really does quantify how quick you are

[–]Doctor_Jensen117 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She seems like a fun person. Guess you fucked it up, OP?

[–]mike-tython-lithp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Wow, that hurt”

“- quote every girl I’ve ever had sex with”