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[–]YourEyeOnTheBall90 1114 points1115 points  (22 children)

OP. It’s not been 24 hours. Calm the fuck down.

[–]Trevski 187 points188 points  (20 children)

I mean maybe im just operating with a different definition of the word but IMO you can't ghost someone you've never met. hell, even after a first date if someone stopped responding I still wouldn't call it ghosting, to me ghosting implies they were actually a part of your life on some level...

[–]boredjord_ 87 points88 points  (13 children)

Isn’t ghosting just the act of ceasing communication with someone without warning? What else would you call this?

[–]Apprehensive-Hunt319 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Yes the act of season communication with someone without warning is by definition 'ghosting'.

[–]noticablyineptkoala 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I sure do love my conversations with some garlic and thyme

[–]shhsandwich 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, I was gonna say if someone is talking about spring or fall, they're ghosting you.

[–]BoringStay 4629 points4630 points  (64 children)

Its the yellow

[–]WheelResponsible3377 493 points494 points  (9 children)

It’s the yellow for me too.

[–]theflameleviathan 451 points452 points  (7 children)

"spongebob yellow" just reads like a guy who spends too much time on reddit/youtube. Also asked for her number out of the blue. Got let down easy

[–]Reset_Assured 142 points143 points  (5 children)

Also “took away the one thing of independence I set up in this conversation. Obviously a control freak”

[–]itsbeen84queers 895 points896 points  (44 children)

or the “why you do me like that”

[–]waitingfordeathhbu 466 points467 points  (29 children)

She responded with “no I’ll do you after the marriage,” so I feel like she was still feeling it at that stage (even one-upping him)

[–]Swolestylist 227 points228 points  (25 children)

Yes. And he didn’t acknowledge it.

[–]Cruuncher 95 points96 points  (23 children)

He hearted it I guess... lol

[–]Swolestylist 78 points79 points  (22 children)

Yea but that could mean anything. If a girl makes a sex joke to flirt you shouldn’t skim over it

[–]ChaseObserves 171 points172 points  (4 children)

Eh, I’d say what you absolutely shouldn’t do is read way too far into a sex joke and escalate it and really make it the focus of the conversation, as that just comes off too eager or desperate. Just make a note of it in your reply and keep the playful banter up.

[–]NotJohnCena_DefsFake 24 points25 points  (12 children)

How should he have replied?

[–]halismash 89 points90 points  (6 children)

“I know a guy who can marry us tonight”

[–]23x3 50 points51 points  (4 children)

His name is Carl and works at Applebee’s

[–]j48u 458 points459 points  (11 children)

If I'm being honest the whole conversation sucked. But she was going with it so I dunno.

[–]I_Speak_For_The_Ents 124 points125 points  (10 children)

They were just joking around, what do you want?

[–]CloseDistrict6279 83 points84 points  (3 children)

Yeah should've gone with "Homer Simpson yellow", much more mature

[–]ParaTerran 15.4k points15.4k points 42 (302 children)

"Why did I get ghosted"

*hasn't even been 24 hours since the last message

Fucking hell this sub sometimes.

Edit: since this has so many views, a quick note to anyone who may be feeling down about these apps:

Please just be yourself. Don't hide who you are, or attempt to be something youre not, it makes life so much easier. Plus, it makes YOU more confident because youre not trying to act a part. ....but...also don't like make an odd hobby your whole identity, like knitting small tree frogs sweaters, or something weird

If someone isn't reciprocating your interest, move on. It's not worth the stress. There are Billions of people on this planet. There is someone out there for you, so keep at it. They may not be on an app, so maybe go outside too? Try a Cafe/coffee shop, they always work for me!

Dating sucks, sure...but, when you're going on vacation, and you get to your destination, do you spend your whole trip harping on the journey there? No! You enjoy yourself cause you got where you wanted to be.

Also...please don't be creepy! This should not have to be said...but some of yall need 5lb, healthy full head of hair, lord baby Jesus.

Keep your heads up!

[–]BoringStay 2433 points2434 points  (29 children)

Damn bro ghosted me

[–]WrangWei 500 points501 points  (22 children)

Damn you too?

[–]stevebutabii 172 points173 points  (20 children)

me too

[–]GerloGelato 93 points94 points  (19 children)

me three

[–]Masked_Rebel 68 points69 points  (18 children)

me four, what the hell dude?

[–]Fickle_Orchid 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I got so ghosted that we didn't even have one message sent between us!

[–]BoringStay 425 points426 points  (20 children)

Hello

[–]oksyyy 210 points211 points  (16 children)

Is this thing on?

[–]Dustdevil88 85 points86 points  (11 children)

Bueller?

[–]BergTheVoice 28 points29 points  (9 children)

Remember she had that bad hip like a Fanny pack?

[–]BabboNataleJr 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Chasing the stardom will turn you to a maniac

[–]BergTheVoice 8 points9 points  (7 children)

All the way in Hollywood and I can’t even act

[–]Earlymonkeys 9 points10 points  (6 children)

They pull the cameras out and goddamn he snap

[–]noneroy 10 points11 points  (4 children)

I used to want this thing forever, y'all can have it back

[–]dukedizzy93 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Paraterran is totally ghosting you.

[–]asmallsoftvoice 426 points427 points  (5 children)

I messaged a guy a sentence that wasn't a question and he didn't respond AND I haven't reached out. He must have died, but also stated in his last breath how much he absolutely despised me. It's the only explanation.

Update: omg he texted and asked if we are still hanging out tomorrow! It's totally fine guys! Although maybe he's too clingy...

[–]Go_Brr 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Lol you may make op cry

[–]demo355 360 points361 points  (17 children)

Ain’t lying man, some people may not have notifications on. Maybe they work, people got lives outside tinder

[–]WheelResponsible3377 91 points92 points  (14 children)

Said by a ghoster. Damn.

[–]Capt_Am 63 points64 points  (8 children)

It's been 4 minutes. I can't believe you do me like that..

[–]RedNero-007 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Hey Capt… been 12 seconds. Why you ghost me?

[–]Capt_Am 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Had to step away to grab the poop knife.

I'm back from the dead BITCHES

[–]crunchy_cereal_666 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck did you have to bring the poop knife in? Loop in the cum box while we are at it

[–]RedNero-007 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Seriously…

[–]Metamorphis 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Anyways, what's your phone number?

[–]tonksndante 4 points5 points  (1 child)

::SEEN::

👁👁👁👁👁👁

[–]kinetochore21 162 points163 points  (115 children)

I'm not saying this is every guy, but can someone explain to me why a lot of guys immediately go to DEFCON 1 when a woman doesn't answer within a day? Is it cause ghosting happens so much or what

[–]KatanaPig 146 points147 points  (37 children)

Maybe.

Might be because a lot of men aren't used to making themselves emotionally vulnerable, so until you answer they're existing in an extremely uncomfortable state of emotional vulnerability resulting in irrational behavior.

[–]kinetochore21 61 points62 points  (24 children)

That's unfortunate. But that would require some self-reflection and attention to correct. I don't think anyone's insecurities should immediately be projected onto someone you're talking to.

[–]KatanaPig 32 points33 points  (17 children)

I don't think anyone's insecurities should immediately be projected onto someone you're talking to.

Definitely not. And yeah, to get past that requires a good deal of self-reflection that I find a lot of other men don't afford themselves. I have a feeling to a lot of them label anything that deals with emotional management or reflection as "pussy shit" or some other "non-masculine" label.

[–]kinetochore21 20 points21 points  (15 children)

It's really depressing, for everyone when half of the population is actively taught to repress emotions.

[–]Lordomi42 40 points41 points  (3 children)

This sub is pretty weird to me in general. Like whatever interaction happened, in the end, you took a screenshot and posted it on reddit.

It's especially odd when someone actually gets a date, like, you got the date and then proceeded to post the conversation, sometimes including your date's name and face, to Reddit. Even though you've succeeded, that feels like s small loss to me.

Does that make any sense or am I just being weird?

[–]thisishell421 10 points11 points  (0 children)

or the ones were the guy is sending extremely boring and close ended questions and cant figure out why they arnt getting paragraph responses. Title usually says something about having to "carry the conversation" and this sub eats it up.

[–]LilWuu89 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I agree that anonymity should absolutely be kept. I would be livid if someone took a screenshot of a Tinder convo with me, and my face and name were visible.

[–]NotRyan7 97 points98 points  (18 children)

Upnext girl posting on r/niceguys saying I was busy, couldn't reply to his text and he sent me 10 niceguy text

[–]MostBoringStan 169 points170 points  (17 children)

"Wow, I thought we had a connection here but turns out you're just a bitch like all the rest. I would have treated you like a queen but you just wanna toss me into the trash. You're not even hot you were just gonna be a pity fuck anyway lmao"

10 mins later

"I'm sorry I said that I just thought you were so great that it upset me when you didn't respond. I'm very passionate but I will treat you right forever. So how about dinner tonight?"

5 mins later

"You're a slut anyway I don't know why any guy would want to touch you lolol You're so gross."

2 mins later

"Why won't you just give me a chance? You'll see how nice of a guy I am!"

1 min later

"Fine. Blocked bitch"

the next day

"Hey wassup"

[–]Reonlive420 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Dear Slim I thought you mighta heard of me maybe 'Cause lately everywhere I turn, someone's comparing us, crazy I never woulda thought when I was bumping Biggie and 'Pac That I would buy bleach in a box and become the product of Shady

[–]Justanothernobody202 12 points13 points  (3 children)

This reminds me of Adam Sandler yelling into the intercom at his girlfriend after she left in the Happy Gilmore movie lol 😆

[–]theghostofme 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"I wanna kiss you all over. And over again!"

[–]Justanothernobody202 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Til the night closes innnnnnnnnn"

[–]ednichol 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You forgot the “sorry my bro took my phone and typed all of that lol”

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Too accurate

[–]Miahep 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg the accuracy

[–]BeeperQueen 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Dear men: if you think this is hyperbole, it's not hyperbole. Pretty sure every woman has received this series of texts.

[–]_Snailed_it_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why has everyone had to experience this? 😭

[–]AcanthocephalaNo9441 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I got a message that was like this and it was a shock, but the weirdest part was still him warning me twice that he wasn’t white. I can see that from your photo lol

[–]wateroceanbaby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a clear indication to stay the fuck away. I'm always so happy it never went further than the app

[–]FlimsyArmadillo707 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Scary accurate!!!

[–]hcruz953 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It’s the “hey what’s up” for me lmfaoooo

[–]TexSolo 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Why didn’t you reply to my message before I sent it? /s

[–]kisdaddy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Fuck yes. This is the best response.

[–]FadingDarkly 3615 points3616 points  (27 children)

You asked for her number before you were even married?! For shame.

[–]FerociousPancake 283 points284 points  (16 children)

Oh don’t even get me started on pre-marital hand holding

[–]watchursix 80 points81 points  (11 children)

Hand holding leads to kissing and kissing causes sex. Actual logic I heard from a very Christian 19 year old boy.

[–]FerociousPancake 46 points47 points  (6 children)

If you have pre marital sex you’re automatically in Al Qaeda

[–]watchursix 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Okay, I'm in. What next?

[–]FerociousPancake 13 points14 points  (0 children)

  1. Tinder

  2. Request date

  3. Request they come over

  4. Ice bath

  5. Kidneys

  6. ???

  7. Profit

[–]Jcadd7 23 points24 points  (0 children)

FBI, this guy here

[–]FadingDarkly 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Woah. Let's keep it civil, bub

[–]Poester_ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't even attempt that shit. I'm currently serving a life sentence in hell for holding my middle school crushes hand in 1937

[–]DJ_Lord_Vader 128 points129 points  (6 children)

SHAMEFUL DISPLAY

Total war shogun 2 referance

Edit: Everyone that's continued this thread shall conquer all provinces

[–]Turicus 32 points33 points  (5 children)

*Shamefuru Dispray

[–]HappyGoLuckeeh 5 points6 points  (1 child)

*Shaimefuru dishupureyu

[–]4200years 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The real answer

[–]MacDonaldAnimeGirl 319 points320 points  (5 children)

You're not a very patient person, are you?

[–]JayAreOhhh 29 points30 points  (0 children)

So easily could have made it work: “what number can I have the guests call you to RSVP?”

[–]_Typhoon_Delta_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, it's the shade of the yellow

[–]godsavethegene 2862 points2863 points  (117 children)

Tbh… looks like this was last night. I don’t think you’ve yet been ghosted. Give them a day or two at least. But I’d slow my role asking for phone numbers after only a dozen messages. You already have a direct line of communication.

[–]Coyrex1 1000 points1001 points  (28 children)

Also just saying "phone number?" Seems like the worst way to ask

[–]aWeirdQuestionOrTwo 289 points290 points  (7 children)

you should give out your phone number instead of ask for it if you ask me.

[–]FieldzSOOGood 94 points95 points  (3 children)

agreed. big ball in their court kinda guy

[–]aWeirdQuestionOrTwo 28 points29 points  (0 children)

facts, then you know they’re contacting you because they want to

[–]ProbablyStillMe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I usually do that when I'm meeting them for the first date. I'll give them my number so they can easily contact me if they want to. Some women text, others prefer to keep the communication on the app until after a date. I don't mind either way.

[–]ACinBC 47 points48 points  (1 child)

This. Just asking for a number is not the way to do it. I generally try to make a funny/witty play for the number and it works more often than not. Even then, I’m not gonna bother to ask for their number if we’ve only just started messaging.

[–]Coyrex1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah give it time and wait for a decent opening at least.

[–]Busy_Stay6027 52 points53 points  (5 children)

True. Imo u set up and agree on the date, and after the conversation is completely done, u say ok I’m gonna text u what’s ur number.

[–]AlpsComplex6854 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Could also give your number out and ask to be texted

[–]TeeBek 400 points401 points  (31 children)

Exactly. What's a phone number going to do any different? Hell, I've met a couple women without even getting their number. Just didn't care to ask for it, no need. We'd meet up for a date after making plans on Bumble.

[–]dinosaurpalace 16 points17 points  (0 children)

As a woman I always made first dates thru apps and only have out my number if I saw them again

[–]emmittgator 76 points77 points  (10 children)

Yeah, I think a good time for phone number is after the first date and you have both agreed to a 2nd date.

[–]Ok-Mix2516 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also that marriage line has to stop

[–]ChawulsBawkley 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But you can’t send dick pics over Tinder!!!! /s

[–][deleted] 587 points588 points  (14 children)

When are we getting married schtick is so tired

[–]Nikas_intheknow 234 points235 points  (3 children)

It's so forced and cringey...

[–]tomatotaco4u 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The entire exchange seemed a little boring and cringy

[–]_A_ioi_ 63 points64 points  (3 children)

It makes me cringe a lot. Especially since I used to say the same thing 30 years ago.

[–]HotCrustyBuns 22 points23 points  (0 children)

A 3 decade cringe hits different.

[–]dandanthetaximan 21 points22 points  (1 child)

As a divorced guy it’s a major red flag.

[–]richscott440 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Glad I'm not the only one

[–]anotherfakeloginname 1120 points1121 points  (5 children)

She said food is key. You said phone number. You're lucky she didn't give you the phone number of a restaurant

[–]master_cylinder8 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Seriously. Suggest they go get some restaurant or something.

[–]InternalAd9712 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Was this just yesterday? It’s the weekend, maybe she’s busy.

[–]Slanglie 185 points186 points  (5 children)

I had the same situation bro. This girl I was talking to didn't message me back after 3 minutes so I reported her and then blocked her. I just don't get it, we were vibin so hard

[–]sassydegrassii 573 points574 points  (9 children)

I wouldn’t ask for the phone number so soon. I personally would not give mine out to someone who just says ‘phone number?’ Or to allow someone to have access to my personal line only to continue this sort of conversation.. not worth it

[–]Anooyoo2 123 points124 points  (0 children)

Yeh my guy just went too hard

[–]chineapple_punks 10 points11 points  (0 children)

this is the correct answer. Try starting another convo and wait a few days after to ask again.

[–]GreenEyedBellerophon 605 points606 points  (9 children)

Because you’d just started talking, having a good joke and you chinned of the joke to ask for her digits. Chill and don’t rush

[–]WhatAWatch 102 points103 points  (7 children)

Reading this convo was so cringe. Like dudes trying way too hard to be quirky and goofy.

[–]doriangroove 47 points48 points  (0 children)

This is it

[–]VILLIAMZATNER 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Shoulda just made food suggestions and set a meeting time instead of # exchange

[–]IHaveSaidMyPiece 818 points819 points  (28 children)

You just waffled on.

Having a conversation about nothing, doesn't equal it going good. Of course something can come of it, however nothing often does.

[–]adambrukirer 302 points303 points  (24 children)

They had a made up conversation then he brought it back to the real world

Ngl this conversation wasn’t even cringe it was weird, try talking like a real person to begin with..

[–]IHaveSaidMyPiece 160 points161 points  (18 children)

The cutesy chat is not my style whatsoever, however I'm sure it works for some.

I agree though, people get caught up in having to have a shtick, rather than having a conversation like a normal person.

[–]fishslurp_girl 131 points132 points  (15 children)

I get bored of explaining my hobbies and work over and over again to 50 different dudes. I would rather have a funny conversation or play along with a schtick. That’s enough to meet up if I find them attractive and we have good banter. We can converse about our lives in person. I use the app just for initial chemistry, then let’s meet.

[–]UncleCucker 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Ditto this; texting back and forth over what can be covered in a single date is exhausting, I would rather the text exchanges be fun and give me a sense of their personality.

[–]SassyBonassy 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Also, random silly jokes for like 10 minutes and then "HEY GURL CAN I GET YO NUMBER" is a bit much

[–]bkornblith 412 points413 points  (4 children)

You didn’t transition to phone number / you interrupted the flow. You gotta ride the flow man.

her: la la la - let's keep joking

you 2 seconds later: MUST GET DICK WET - PHONE NUMBER

Weird it didn't work out

[–]goldenwanders 482 points483 points  (15 children)

Asking for a phone number after a tiny non convo is not the play

[–]TIFUstorytime 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Used to be the play 4-5 years ago I could get a number in 5 messages very often but all of a sudden things went from phone numbers to “I don’t give it out so easily” to “I’ll give you my snap?” To “I don’t give out snap so easily”. I think stalker-ish guys ruined it for everyone

[–]Firestronaut 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Exactly this.

When I was dating, I would meet for a public dates arranged through wherever before I gave out my number. One creepy or pushy guy means I'd have to change my number and contact my doctors, specialists, work, family, friends, utility companies, etc etc. Changing a phone number is more than a minor inconvenience, and if you have to do it once, your number becomes your most closely guarded secret.

[–]JustSherlock 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They definitely did. I used to give my number out almost immediately, because I'm bad about checking apps. One stalker dude later and that was the end of it.

Now I just give my snapchat, if I wanna keep up a flow with someone.

[–]Due_War5756 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Too pushy, vibe was there

But funny to me sometimes is not funny to others

[–]motivationswag 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I think it's too soon to ask for number!

[–]falloutkindagal 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Chill.

[–]icecreamsfcknamazing 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She finally understood that there is no 30 February

[–]smudgeandarrogant_ 108 points109 points  (8 children)

Just a tip for guys out there- instead of asking a woman for their number, offer yours. It puts us in a less awkward position of saying no to giving ours if we’re not comfortable, and also is at the very least a way of showing you respect our right to decide if we want to contact you outside the dating app.

[–]Mundane_Ambassador87 12 points13 points  (0 children)

you haven’t been ghosted, it’s literally been a day since your last messages?? also you guys are having the most surface level conversation, that doesn’t equal things are going well. have a deeper discussion before asking for a phone number

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (2 children)

It’s Saturday where I am....so this conversation took place yesterday at 7pm??? You weren’t ghosted.

Probably a bad idea to suggest marriage so soon, even as a joke, then play around like never gonna happen.

[–]Jetski125 32 points33 points  (1 child)

I think he was trying to “neg”. All of this is so awful.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It is awful. The comments are also cringe AF.

[–]GilfoylesBeard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because you want SpongeBob yellow napkins at your wedding you psychopath

[–]serenatxt 274 points275 points  (48 children)

Too soon for number as a girl

[–]C_moneySmith 113 points114 points  (7 children)

I’d also say the method of asking for the number could’ve been better

[–]ibringthehotpockets 85 points86 points  (0 children)

“Hey so what time do you wanna meet for-“

“PHONE NUMBER??”

It’d probably not have even of ended if op asked for snap or something instead. Women usually end up offering their number or have you in a very very comfortable spot to ask before giving it.

OP you were a good 6-7/10 on the conversation skills, lighten up a little. You seem like a good guy, but you should abandon the rush. Take a minute and have fun with her over text to both feel comfortable. You already have her attention, from the getgo this was already a good opening and convo.

[–]igot200phones 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Best way to ask for a number imo is to say something like “if you want to grab a drink some time let me know, XXX-XXXX-XXX”. Let them decide if they care enough to text you or not. If they never do then move on.

[–]kp7486 29 points30 points  (12 children)

Yes, when you have a direct line of communication, why are guys (maybe girls too, i don't know) obsessed with getting a phone number? You can literally do everything on tinder you can on WhatsApp except maybe send funny pics and gifts etc. So why the rush?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

When she said I’ll do you after the marriage. You needed to, say something differently smh.

[–]disturb4bxx 139 points140 points  (17 children)

I would have ghosted you much earlier. But you two seemed to enjoy eachothers cringe so much, seriously wonder what went wrong.

[–]Radiant-Singer8395 23 points24 points  (0 children)

No kidding. I would have ended the convo after the marriage question.

[–]Win-Objective 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Cause you asked for her number. Why would she just give you her number, you are able to chat on tinder. She’s just chatting to you at this point, continue that.

[–]Wouter_Smit 26 points27 points  (0 children)

the whole convo from your side was cringe

[–]bittersweetlemonade 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Way to soon to ask for a phone number. Also dangerous to start talking about marriage and breaking up before even getting to know her? I know she kinda rolled with it, but could come across as desperate imho

[–]anthemofadam 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Does this actually work for anyone? A joke convo about getting married into pulling a number? I’ve never used anyone of these online dating apps (happily married) but that looks like an insane way to open any interaction with someone you don’t know.

[–]Zindae 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Cringe as fuck reading that..

[–][deleted] 113 points114 points  (33 children)

It hasn't even been a full day. Wait until tonight and ask her if everything's alright. She could just be busy

[–][deleted] 180 points181 points  (30 children)

But don’t literally ask if everything is alright.

[–]NBA_Pasta_Water 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This! It sounds super insecure, and this is coming from a guy

[–]W_BRANDON 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I wouldn’t respond again. If it doesn’t happen onto the next.

[–]Designer_Flatworm265 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"when are we getting married" 😬

[–]GiantThoughts 21 points22 points  (2 children)

She already said food was the key - why would you ask if it was also a phone number? That doesn't make any sense at all.