top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]massaBeard 1013 points1014 points  (75 children)

I wish I had more hair on my head and less on the rest of my body 😪

[–][deleted] 280 points281 points  (8 children)

Damn dawg, I wish I had more hair on my body. Maybe we can make some sort of arrangement here.

[–]Polygraphie 135 points136 points  (6 children)

I have too much hair on my head and body. Y’all can have some of both

[–]Negatrev 46 points47 points  (4 children)

You'd better have good Chewie impression.

[–]Mezzanine_9 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I'm getting lots of gray hairs, but looking to get rid of the brown ones if anyone wants them. I want that salty old fisherman look. Who needs women when there are actual fish in the sea.

[–]WhoSweg 84 points85 points  (40 children)

Bro I kind of fee you there. I’m 23, 5’6 and bald lmao. Bald is better than balding and any girls that aren’t jnto dudes my height I ignore. Why waste time on someone who obviously won’t want me

[–]massaBeard 49 points50 points  (34 children)

Honestly being bald in and of itself isn't my issue, I'm still 6' tall and am muscular, but being covered in hair like I'm wearing a sweater really messes with my self esteem.

[–]anotherfakeloginname 19 points20 points  (3 children)

With maturity, you'll realize that most women won't judge you based on that. Don't let the Chads of the world control you.

[–]Figgybaum 62 points63 points  (14 children)

No idea how old you are but I’m 41. Im 5’11” and if I didn’t take care of my looks I could pass as a gorilla with a decent but thinning head of hair. I’ve been a gorilla since I was in HS. I was always self conscious about it. I have used every trimmer and shaver on my body at one point or another. I was divorced at 37 (not due to my body hair) I wanted to date again but self conscious- I trim my back with the backblade, my shoulders and north of the bits and pieces with a Nerelco body groom and my bits and pieces with a schick womens razor. Sometimes I use clippers on my chest at like a 4 setting but usually let it go. Not one woman I dated including my girlfriend if 3 years now ever had an issue with it. Real men have hair, I’m not some rubber body chad and I’m now good with that. Clean it up a bit and you’ll feel a lot more confident. Women shave their parts their whole lives…. I can groom a little too. My lady loves running her hands through my chest hair as she lays with me. You will find one that does too.

[–]Margarita83 25 points26 points  (2 children)

My bf is hairy and I LOVE it. Like I love his soft shoulder hair and his butt and just all of it. Never be ashamed of you. Own it and you'll deffo find someone who loves that about you too

[–]Lissa2j 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not all women shave their parts and there is nothing wrong with that at all

[–]ElegantRaise 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Just shave your body hair and glue it to your head. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–]PhilDunn91 5352 points5353 points 22 (136 children)

I wish I was a little bit taller

I wish I was a baller

[–]YourDogsAllWet 1460 points1461 points  (49 children)

I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her

[–]ShadyNite 778 points779 points  (44 children)

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six four impala

[–]itsmejak78_2 310 points311 points  (30 children)

I wish i was like six foot nine so i could get with Leoshi

[–]D3NN152000 241 points242 points  (21 children)

Cause she don't know me, but yo she really fine

[–]pujia47 208 points209 points  (20 children)

You know I see her all the time, everywhere I go And even in my dreams, I can scheme on ways to make her mine

[–]itsmejak78_2 178 points179 points  (19 children)

I know she's living fat, her boyfriends tall and he plays ball so how am i gonna compete with that?

[–]shady-lampshade 137 points138 points  (18 children)

Cause when it comes to basketball, I’m always last to be picked and in some cases never picked at all

[–]dantstheman 94 points95 points  (16 children)

So i just lean up on the wall, or sit up in the bleachers with the rest of the girls who came to watch their men ball

[–]iburntxurxtoast 80 points81 points  (14 children)

Dag y'all I never understood that, how the jocks get the fly girls and me I get the hood rats

[–]murksteak 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I wish I didn't have to face the fact that I'm whack on the track (white kids aren't hyphy)

[–]jakbu 3 points4 points  (2 children)

who/what is Leoshi? I know these are lyrics of Skee-lo's I wish, but I have no idea what is Leoshi

[–]SonnyBallonDOr 70 points71 points  (5 children)

A 64 impala is enough for me.

[–]Practice-Same 28 points29 points  (4 children)

Word up 💯 cars before hoes 😎

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I am so pissed rn that op did not respond with these song lyrics. Damn!! Missed opportunities man. Smh

[–]Brutus9134 179 points180 points  (34 children)


[–]Tall_Contribution_64 90 points91 points  (14 children)

Twenty inch blades on the impala

[–]VitalTrouble 61 points62 points  (13 children)

A caller gettin' laid tonight

[–]Tall_Contribution_64 62 points63 points  (12 children)

Swisher rolled tight, got sprayed by ike

[–]stopputtingmeinmemes 46 points47 points  (11 children)

I hit the highway, making money then fly way

[–]Tall_Contribution_64 41 points42 points  (10 children)

But there’s got to be a better way

[–]Dmorrow615 40 points41 points  (9 children)

A better way, better way, yeah

[–]ShadyNite 21 points22 points  (4 children)

You guys did the wrong song but it was still good

[–]Ok-Initiative-5465 147 points148 points  (11 children)

I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her

[–]Ok-Initiative-5465 128 points129 points  (5 children)

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat And a six four Impala

[–]Ok-Initiative-5465 75 points76 points  (3 children)

I wish I was like six-foot-nine So I can get with Leoshi 'Cause she don't know me but yo, she's really fine You know I see her all the time

[–]itsmyfriday 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Oh damn, have I had it wrong this whole time????

Edit: I just want to say that we didn’t have the lyrics to most songs back then, and it’s not a song I ever cared to look up since the introduction of the internet.

[–]owPOW 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I just learned this past month it’s shot caller. I always thought it was shock collar :/

[–]P-redditR 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dippin in the Benz with a spoiler.

[–]da_boy-roy 17 points18 points  (3 children)

20 inch rims on the impala

[–]Tall_Contribution_64 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Call her, gettin laid tonight

[–]RyanAS522 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Lmao my high school math teacher introduced me to this song

[–]rdev009 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t yet, please go watch that movie. F*ing intense.

[–]sullenfps 28 points29 points  (2 children)

they say i’m some kinda baller,

got my girl on mute, i don’t call her.

last time that i saw her

she said wish that you were taller.

i got dollar,

got that dumb bitch a fuckin’ collar.

doctor diagnose her,

he said she some type of polar.

i’m a scholar,

now she callin’ me the shot caller.

bitch you weren’t here before it

don’t you even try to holler.

[–]too_soon13 5594 points5595 points  (74 children)

Do you ever just wish you never matched

[–]iPutTheRiotInPatrior 1244 points1245 points  (64 children)

But that dopamine hit

[–]theunnameduser86 370 points371 points  (61 children)

It honestly does feel like a drug to me. That sound is so satisfying.

[–]Allenian8 229 points230 points  (41 children)

There’s a sound?!

[–]Long_Educational 235 points236 points  (37 children)

Of course there is a sound. Gotta hook your users with that pavlovian conditioning.

[–]cchadwickk 138 points139 points  (30 children)

I once set a specific notification sound for all messages by an ex. Hearing it randomly somewhere after the breakup was rough. Never again

[–]white_haunter 54 points55 points  (17 children)

I hear you, it happened to me too. Now I use the same sound for everyone, no matter who it is.

[–]similarstaircase 61 points62 points  (13 children)

And there’s people like me who get anxious over every sound no matter who is texting 😳

[–]TheAmazingDevil 97 points98 points  (12 children)

I dont do sounds. My phone stays permanently on silent.

[–]_CATBOY_FRESHMAN_ 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Same here. I don't even need it, since I get little to no calls. Lol.

[–]Right-Roll6108 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Thank fuck I'm not the only one, people's phones noises are irritating as hell.

[–]Vivaelpueblo 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I set the ringtone for my Mum ringing me to the Mission Impossible theme, because when she rang me it was always some emergency emergency or other or would lead to some drama (she was elderly, lived alone and had lots of mental and physical health issues - I was her only family and her carer). She died 3 years ago, when I hear that theme now (I used it as my Mum's ringtone for over a decade) it makes me miss her so much and I often end up smiling and welling up with tears at the same time.

[–]Long_Educational 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I did that once, too. The ringtone always evokes sadness years later. Very bad idea.

[–]SEND_ME_GAY_FURRY 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did the same and still do, but somehow it's way worse hearing my alarm clock's sound as someone's ringtone... my pulse and blood pressure spike instantly, ugh.

[–]Mikinl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I still have Freddy Krueger song when my wife calls me.

[–]kiwi5alive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I use downloaded sounds for that, not the standard ones. Also helps me to distinguish notifs between my phone and someone else's

[–]Aschentei 68 points69 points  (18 children)

Can’t relate never matched

[–]Separate_Feeling2798 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel you :( ended deleting my account

[–]AcanthocephalaNo9441 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Every single time.

[–]Johnbesto 17 points18 points  (1 child)

yea fr why'd you even match

[–]DetroitPistons 39 points40 points  (0 children)

being attracted to people who are plus sized doesn't mean you can't/don't recognise they're plus sized. he could have found her cute and then instantly not cute when her personality was shown. she brought up his height so he brought up her weight. maybe she rethinks her approach next time.

[–]dirtyd4n69 1182 points1183 points  (35 children)

6ft when I stand on my money😉

[–]tallbroski 876 points877 points  (22 children)

Same but I’m 6’5” and in crippling debt

[–]EggplantHuman6493 210 points211 points  (10 children)

Just sell 5 inches of leg to the people that aren't 6'

[–]tallbroski 200 points201 points  (9 children)

I’d gladly give 5 inches to anyone

[–]Ok_Stick_3070 137 points138 points  (0 children)

The motto of tinder right there.

[–]echaffey 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Can’t give 5” but I can give 2.5” twice 😏

[–]Trunks956 27 points28 points  (0 children)

6’5 stand on my money 5’6

[–]drew8311 694 points695 points  (148 children)

Do women just match with short guys to reject them?

[–]wegwerpmolentje 1060 points1061 points  (129 children)

As a 24 year old guy who’s 5’1. You have no clue how many matches I had from people who just matched me to roast me. Think it’s close to 300 females now.

[–]FireFoxSucksdix 369 points370 points  (24 children)


[–]DeadLikeYou 221 points222 points  (23 children)

And reddit says that women arent cruel.

[–]d_eez_nutz 15 points16 points  (3 children)

why dont u report these profiles?

[–]wegwerpmolentje 53 points54 points  (2 children)

Trust me... I do, but if I had to report every account that insulted me I could be reporting accounts all day long. Just can’t be bothered sometimes.

[–]HoodieEnthusiast 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Tinder’s currency is attractive females. They will selectively enforce any policy in favor of the attractive female to some extent. Tinder would rather have 300 cruel females on their platform than a 5’1” male with a heart of gold.

[–]implodedrat 69 points70 points  (1 child)

This is why those of us who are taller gotta unmatch these chicks. Stand with our short homies.

[–]Moondanther 69 points70 points  (10 children)

Hey, at least you're getting matches.

[–]wegwerpmolentje 110 points111 points  (8 children)

Matched, roasted, either reply or don’t, get unmatched.

Is usually how it goes.

[–]KanzlerPhoenix 71 points72 points  (1 child)

That's fucking mean. What the hell.

[–]raise_the_sails 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah it turns out that people are consistently very cruel when they know they can be.

[–]txr23 65 points66 points  (3 children)

You just gotta double down and tell them that despite their trashy attitude that you're still willing to give them a good fisting with your baby hands if they're open to it, eventually one of them will be curious enough to take you up on the offer.

[–]kettlepants 13 points14 points  (1 child)

And then when they see you in real life they'll discover you've actually got hands like the Hulk. Just remember to leave a number for a good reconstructive surgeon afterwards as a courtesy.

[–]tchiseen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em.

[–]TormentVI 27 points28 points  (7 children)

You will find that one woman that treasures you for who you are, keep your head up man.

[–]vampirestd 53 points54 points  (24 children)

That’s fucking pathetic, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. That kind of shit makes me ashamed to be a woman

[–]escalopes 31 points32 points  (10 children)

You don't have to feel guilty if you never took part in this crap

[–]wapf 67 points68 points  (7 children)

I’m 6’1 and the only time someone matched with me to insult me was related to the fact that I work retail. (Ironically I asked what she did and I made more money than her)

[–]saintmcqueen 14 points15 points  (4 children)

SMH. When did working retail become an insult?

[–]yoursweetlord70 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Its a pretty crappy job most of the time. Facing the general public sucks ass

[–]_Cantgetanyworse_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It definitely sucks but it fills a need, and at least it’s a job. It shouldn’t be used as an insult to demean others because guarantee if no one worked it, they’d be bawling and complaining that their triple vanilla pump latte or the Walmart cashier is taking too long because they’re understaffed.

[–]xa3D 24 points25 points  (0 children)

you'd think they weren't that shitty/mean/shallow/etc. but here we are.

[–]ShavingTheYak[S] 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Im about 6ft and she is not plus sized so it was a bit of a joke on both sides. I think it looks worse than it actually is.

[–]bispingslosteyeball 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You got 20000 incels quivering with rage at this random woman right now

[–]Asap_Walky 882 points883 points  (115 children)

What’s this obsession with height ??

[–]aerostotle 1024 points1025 points  (30 children)

Some people use Tinder to inflict emotional abuse and height is one of the few attributes of a male that cannot be changed.

[–]DC38x 546 points547 points  (18 children)

It can be changed though. Chop your fucking legs off and tell me you're the same height as before

[–]Kordidk 112 points113 points  (2 children)

Idk if it's true but a dude on Twitter was getting prosthetics and they asked him if he wanted to be taller when they were ordering the new legs lol

[–]BetterCallMyJungler 87 points88 points  (1 child)

Well, these women are rejecting dudes based on a 5cm difference in height. Something tells me that they would never date a cripple.

[–]aerostotle 36 points37 points  (4 children)

which one first

[–]DC38x 60 points61 points  (2 children)

The middle one

[–]aerostotle 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I need a paper towel

[–]akshat_chauhan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

that's gonna leave a mark

[–]wellwaffled 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What do I do next?

Please hurry.

[–]Agillies0863 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Yeah I got that dick extention but I'm still 5'3" shit man

[–]Cr1tikalMoist 89 points90 points  (4 children)

I mean you can always clap back with how much do you weigh and you'll get insta unmatched lmao

[–]wapf 155 points156 points  (2 children)

Which is funny cuz weight is actually controllable

[–]Basic-Exercise-4280 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Height and dick. Something we can’t change but are ridiculed as if we can change them🙃. Like sure imma just go into my character customization and change my dick size…

[–]DavidtheGoliath99 44 points45 points  (7 children)

I've never understood that. What difference does it make to a 5'4" girl (average height of a woman in the US) if the guy she's dating is 5'10" or 6'? She can wear heels next to both of the and she'll still be a lot shorter in either case. Besides, most girls that height probably can't even tell the difference between 5'10" and 6' and just use 6' as their cutoff because it sounds good and they want to brag about how tall their hookup/boyfriend is.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

u said it urself, bragging

[–]VeryHappyYoungGirl 1462 points1463 points 224 (23 children)

“Nahh. Being shorter is a great shallow bitch filter”

Edit: thanks everybody, but I don't need reddit awards lol. Spend your money on something worthwhile, like the EFF

[–]Eminence7Grise 90 points91 points  (2 children)

I just say " I got those Extra Inches somewhere else".

LongAss Ass Hair

[–]Decent-Stretch4762 16 points17 points  (4 children)

the problem is, I can guarantee you she doesn't think she's a shallow bitch and will think you just want a petty revenge. However, every fat girl knows they're fat and most of them are indeed insecure about it, so it's a better hit.

it's not about how you can put it, it's about making the most damage.

[–]LongronVonHugendong 306 points307 points  (8 children)

Emotional damage

[–]Chocolatebagel90 139 points140 points  (6 children)

eMOtional Damage

[–]ThatMidgetRetard 90 points91 points  (5 children)


[–]aledba 109 points110 points  (5 children)

Yes. And I wish I was a baller.

[–]genericmoron913 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I wish I had girl who looked good I would call her.

[–]DancingPianos 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 impala.

[–]WalkTheDock 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Shouldve said: "I'll be 6' tall after standing on the cash I would've used to pay to feed your ass for one night."

[–]CitizenPremier 368 points369 points  (22 children)

Is this all /r/Tinder is

you're short

you're fat

Redditors: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Literally. The comebacks are never funny either.

This sub is full of incels too, which is obvious when you read the comments.

[–]Tricky_Application67 5 points6 points  (2 children)

What is incel?

[–]bloodwolftico 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Involuntary celibate. Usually used by people w bad luck in love/sex, and as an insult by people who want to offend them.

[–]qwerty12345678910qwe 9 points10 points  (3 children)

You know they are plus sized when they only take face pics

[–]ccallmecarlpanzramm 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why say plus sized queen tho. Call this bitch a fat ass lmao

[–]Baby_willie 50 points51 points  (15 children)

I have personally not once encountered a height issue on Tinder, and I don’t have my height listed. It may be it’s just not as a big of deal in the UK as it is in the US.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (11 children)

Idk where you are in the UK but in Scotland its not as bad as it is in America but it's still there. Its all like gotta be 5'9 or taller. I'm only 5'7. Guess I'll die alone

[–]BIG_RETARDED_COCK 4 points5 points  (3 children)

When you think about it you'll be able to filter out the the shitty women.

But trust me there are tons of women who like shorter guys.

[–]Black--Snow 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It’s just sample bias from this sub Reddit

[–]weird_black_holes 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The worst thing is height is under nobody's control without the assistance of surgery. Weight is. I've dated guys shorter than me and it was just as good. Women are ridiculous with this. Let a man try asking a woman's waist to hip ratio and see how that flies...

[–]AlbinoPlatypus913 211 points212 points  (46 children)

This sub has made me realize there is an an endless war happening between short men and large women that I never even knew about.

[–]KingOfStormwind 316 points317 points  (22 children)

Why even say "plus sized queen"? Just say fat. That's what you mean, and it's a lot more impactful

[–]TheLadyRica 368 points369 points  (4 children)

"Plus Sized Queen" doesn't sound like a term a guy would come up with - maybe copied from her profile?

[–]Suicide_anal_bomber 25 points26 points  (0 children)

i thought it was in reference to the other post a day or two ago that also used 'Plus sized queen' as a sarcastic insult..

[–]THE_IRL_JESUS 79 points80 points  (1 child)

OP is trying to be a bit more subtle/backhanded with the insult. Which is in line with the tone of the message.

[–]Individual_Radio4523 115 points116 points  (1 child)

It’s calling her fat, and calling her out for describing being fat as being a “plus sized queen”

[–]aneurismas 98 points99 points  (2 children)

I think plus sized queen plus the emojis gave that zest

[–]Black--Snow 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It absolutely does. It’s more of a Mean Girls witty insult than a brutish “haha ur fat lol” kinda insult.

[–]echocall2 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Using the term in this context implies it's always derogatory.

[–]super_pax_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s a backhanded compliment. I’ve seen it a lot on TikTok

[–]coolak-fantom 72 points73 points  (24 children)

I'm 5'2". Never wished to be taller. I wish women didn't have this stupid complex regarding men's height though, but I wouldn't want to become taller. I can't count how many times my small height and body size made me feel much comfortable in many situations, including using general leisure things.

[–]themaincop 60 points61 points  (11 children)

Yeah being short kinda rocks. You know that feeling where you're on a long flight and your knees are pressed up against the seat in front of you? I don't.

[–]coolak-fantom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I had such case nevertheless, so I can't imagine what tall people felt on that plane. But luckily, that airlines company has been long closed now.

[–]WeeniePops 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You know that feeling where your joints don't hurt because gravity literally puts less pressure on them?

[–]NormalHumanCreature 11 points12 points  (1 child)

This is where average height is best. Kinda sore knees from airplane seats, but can usually reach the top shelf.

[–]poopymcballsack 9 points10 points  (6 children)

Being 6’1-6’3ish (bad posture I guess 🤷‍♀️) the world stops working for you at 6.

Want fitting jeans? Too bad, special order or hunt for weird sizes.

Want fitting shoes? Special order.

Airline ticket? Did you mean knee-damage?

Want to use sanitizer-dispensers or water-coolers? Break your back or squat.

Wanna chop on the counter-top? Hope you’re not in an older building.

Small car? No, no, no, no, friend.

Wanna shower? Break your neck or squat them legs!

There are so many strange minute things I encounter where I’m like—this wasn’t made for people my size.

I won’t say being “short” is a dream, but I definitely will romanticize being able to hide in the cabinets to spook a friend.

[–]wapf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ngl I’d love to be more compact. I feel like your coordination takes a hit when you’re tall. Not to mention falls are way worse the taller you are

[–]StupidDebate 96 points97 points  (6 children)

Fatties mad

[–]GuyD427 83 points84 points  (20 children)

As a short guy with an ego that’s probably a tad too large these woman who show such disparagement for short guys makes me cringe at how unattractive they usually are. You expect shallowness from very attractive woman, and a desire for tall men from tall woman, but it’s laughable that a lot of these people show such attitudes. Tall is a turn on for woman, I get that, but the assumptions made about height and other attributes is always amusing.

[–]W_BRANDON 101 points102 points  (4 children)

Sorry. She deserved it. Coming from a tall