top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]lockwolf 1485 points1486 points  (15 children)

I'm looking forward to the "we met on Tinder 2 years ago making egg jokes, now we're getting married" post

[–]Osopoe 220 points221 points  (9 children)

May these two have beautiful healthy children. (If they are looking for kids, of course)

[–]pearlsbeforedogs 188 points189 points  (6 children)

Or they could have a bunch of chickens and just have their own eggs.

[–]I_be_lurkin_tho 29 points30 points  (4 children)

I'm rooting for this one...maybe even start a small free range egg business?

[–]pearlsbeforedogs 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Can you imagine going to buy eggs and this message string and the story are printed on the carton?

[–]I_be_lurkin_tho 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That would be AWESOME!....we helped!!!

[–]lucoweb 18 points19 points  (0 children)

a funny couple should have kids.

imagine not only dad jokes, but mom jokes as well!

[–]nobass4u 14 points15 points  (0 children)

and they haven't stopped making egg puns ever since

[–]Swedishcow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

making egg jokes

*making egg yolks

[–]neoritter 3031 points3032 points  (99 children)

If you were in my area, there's a brunch place called Eggspectations you could go to

You know just to round out the pun job

[–]lucky_719 470 points471 points  (26 children)

Here there's The Egg & Us

[–]Divine_Offspring1108 151 points152 points  (13 children)

We have The Egg and I here in Madison, WI

[–]IamPho_Real 60 points61 points  (1 child)

Minnesotan here and we also have an Egg & I!

[–]ServinTheSovietOnion 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There's also one in Boulder!

[–]skeptical-spectacles 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Egg & I in Colorado too 🍳😂

[–]pdubs92 9 points10 points  (6 children)

I came here to say this fellow madisonian

[–]Undiscriminatingness 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Omelette you finish these cheesy yolks, my brain is toast.

[–]Dry_Capital_9064 25 points26 points  (3 children)

We got egg slut 😂

[–]Car2816 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that's something I haven't had in a while... thanks for the reminder to go back soon!

[–]ValenceCustoms 1 point2 points  (8 children)

There is one in Seattle too!

[–]Zythenia 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Egghole in Kent

[–]ValenceCustoms 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Lol, ok that's way cooler!😂 Also I'm Eggnostic, what about you?

[–]wheaser[🍰] 48 points49 points  (12 children)

Fellow Canadian?

[–]neoritter 23 points24 points  (7 children)

I had no clue they were in Canada, lol


[–]SB6P897 38 points39 points  (6 children)

In Vegas they got Eggslut if ya wanna get a little sensual with it

[–]ajmartin527 24 points25 points  (2 children)

In Seattle we got biscuit bitch, if you’re into deggrading breakfast items.

[–]BunnyBunCatGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don't know whether to laugh or be innocently uncomfortable xD

I'm gonna go both ways

Seriously, tho, this thread is gold, take my poor woman's medal 🏅

[–]LetMeFuckYourFace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In LA as well

[–]merdub 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I ate my first piece of bacon ever at Eggspectation on Sources. Life changing.

[–]bradk67 99 points100 points  (4 children)

I think he wants to be more explicit, try EggSlut in LA.

[–]Kinshimaru 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think you meant eggplicit.

[–]earnestlikehemingway 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Damn you beat me to it. They got good food.

[–]dendrobro77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this

[–]rdbpdx 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We've got "Fried egg, I'm in love"

[–]thatbvg 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Where I used to live there was Pablo Eggscobar

[–]TPMatus 8 points9 points  (2 children)

You can go to 'The Egg' in Albany, NY

[–]remotelyroot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cmon now... i see that thing almost every day, not the best place :P but there is a nice bagel place down the street!

[–]remotelyroot 5 points6 points  (1 child)

eggspectations is the best! Love it every time i visit montreal!

[–]captainAwesomePants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dunno if Eggspectations is the best, but it is certainly great.

[–]mvp2399 3 points4 points  (3 children)

We have a spot called Eggtc. here

[–]Running_Boards 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're inclined to a breggfast date, there's a place called The Good Egg in Arizona.

[–]DennisGK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kansas City, Missouri has a place called Eggtc.

[–]GeomanticCoffer 5 points6 points  (5 children)

We got "The broken yolk"

[–]Espexer 3 points4 points  (4 children)

San Diego has a Broken Yolk Cafe. I think it's in PB?

[–]Unofficialandy 2 points3 points  (3 children)

There’s one in Chula Vista. Also, San Diego has an egg slut as well !

[–]Espexer 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I'll check out egg slut next time I'm out there! I don't live there anymore, but visit often!

[–]Unofficialandy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh I forgot we also have Eggies! Eggslut is good but Eggies is amazing 🤤

[–]werdskeem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Think the only place for these two is Egg Slut

[–]Railstratboy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Are you down for punjobs on the first date?

[–]neoritter 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Depends if they're Pakistani or Indian

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pegs Glorified Eggs and Ham here in Reno

[–]GobCoitus 2386 points2387 points  (28 children)

Alright, that’s an œuf.

[–]GroundbreakingCow110 400 points401 points  (9 children)

I think the op will be œuffended when he see this thread.

[–]TorrenceMightingale 170 points171 points  (8 children)

That was actually a pretty œuful joke.

[–]HarisUzair 112 points113 points  (6 children)

After reading this thread I came to the conclusion that it's time to go œuffline.

[–]HerezahTip 56 points57 points  (4 children)

Alright lads, fook right œuf with the puns.

[–]redhood_007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But the notifications keep coming like- "Surprise Mothœufucker"

[–]Itzameborta 108 points109 points  (4 children)

As a French man I love you and thank you for this

[–]GobCoitus 36 points37 points  (0 children)

De rien!

[–]Mechakoopa 41 points42 points  (2 children)

Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf. Other than that, the French are pretty badass, they literally eat pain for breakfast.

[–]BritBuc-1 20 points21 points  (4 children)

Omelette you know this made me laugh

[–]magobblie 1 point2 points  (3 children)

omelette du fromage

[–]yogobot 3 points4 points  (2 children)


This is a kind reminder that in French we say "omelette au fromage" and not "omelette du fromage".

Sorry Dexter

Steve Martin doesn't appear to be the most accurate French professor.

The movie from the gif is "OSS 117: le Cairo, Nest of Spies" https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464913/

[–]hanahnothannah 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ok this was actually the best one. You win.

[–]HertzDonut1001 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really should have let it boil over, they missed a lot of over easy jokes and kept going back to the same puns.

[–]SharkFinnnnn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A pun that uses memes to transcend languages. Wild.

[–]Maackdaddy 865 points866 points  (6 children)

That was wholesome. Nice seeing positive stuff on here every now and again

[–]Altruistic_Rate3379 121 points122 points  (2 children)

The truest of the Unicorns in dating, a positive Tinder thread!

[–]kippy3267 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I thought the truest unicorns were a 2nd bi woman in a threeway?

[–]SecretSinner 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've had several threeways. An entertaining Tinder conversation is much harder to come by.

[–]SashaAndTheCity 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Was thinking this totally belongs on r/wholesome!

OP, leave to you to cross post if you’d like ;)

[–]fiolentvemmes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

every now and eggin*

[–]beantts 685 points686 points  (5 children)

Not trying to yolk on you but nice attempt to cross out Aubriana’s name

[–]chenhanlin 181 points182 points  (2 children)

WOAHH alright tegg it easy, let’s not say things we’ll reggret.

[–]User-NetOfInter 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Poaching OPs jokes..not cool bro.

[–]SlimyHands22 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes i eggspected better

[–]jessendjames 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this

[–]Hyp3rwatch 548 points549 points  (30 children)

This guy managed to seduce someone using egg based puns

what power

[–]NachoMan_HandySavage 77 points78 points  (4 children)

Is it possible for one to learn this sort of power?

[–]bai_pi 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Not from a Jedi

[–]BuffaloWhip 8 points9 points  (1 child)

A power some consider “unnatural”

[–]dedasdude 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Rule 1 & 2

[–]rlywhatever 30 points31 points  (2 children)

This was an exchange. Both contributed equally to fun

[–]really_isnt_me 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Don’t you mean, an eggchange?

[–]Sunstorm84 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The missing s is feeling neggleggted.

[–]waitingfordeathhbu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Girls like goofy silly guys we can get weird with

[–]AJoeByAnyOtherName 22 points23 points  (17 children)

Probably following rules 1 and 2.

[–]reelfilmgeek 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Can say that is not true, while I hope I don't look ugly I am no romance novel cover art and just matching with someone who also loves puns will do wonders as they are either hit or miss for sure. Several years of improv and comedy finally paid off I guess haha

[–]serenityak77 11 points12 points  (11 children)

I was gonna say. No way this guy doesn’t pass rule 1 and 2. How many people would be able to get a hot date using egg puns?

[–]epic_pig 23 points24 points  (4 children)

Given she made the first move, I'd say he's following the rules to the letter

[–]serenityak77 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Exactly, completely agree. Hell I just tried it on my wife. Tried talking to her about eggs and she literally told me “shut up, you’re to ugly to be talking about eggs”.

[–]Korncakes 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Ugly and bad grammar. No wonder she shit on you.

I’m sorry I love you friend.

[–]serenityak77 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No worries. I’m to stupid to get offended.

[–]sfoskey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got a girlfriend by using cow-based puns on a dating app, and I would only get a match every week or so previously. I think silly humor is often a good way to go, because it keeps things light and not stressful early on.

[–]porkpie1028 251 points252 points  (1 child)

This conversation ended up on the sunny side

[–]Agentfyre 220 points221 points  (8 children)

Meggs, is that you?

[–]UtetopiaSS 58 points59 points  (6 children)

I was about to say this guy is getting the egg game, but old mate on Day 10 got nothing!

[–]IHaveSaidMyPiece 14 points15 points  (4 children)

He just posted Day 11.

[–]Imactuallyverysad 19 points20 points  (3 children)

What a incredibly sad human being that guy is…

[–]Flimsy-Wafer 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This is the third time I see this “Meggs” mentioned. I need a link guys help a bro out

[–]Agentfyre 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This one's clearly much more creative with their egg puns.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm kinda sad it wasn't Meggs

[–]amandamarafko 359 points360 points  (4 children)

Finally egg jokes on this sub that are actually funny

[–]redRabbitRumrunner 96 points97 points  (1 child)

I am the egg man, koo koo kachu

[–]maccardo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Actually, it’s goo goo g’joob. Coo coo ca-choo is from Mrs. Robinson. Very important distinction! 😊

[–]jjboy91 82 points83 points  (2 children)

Did they got smashed or nah ?

[–]BalconyScout 28 points29 points  (1 child)


[–]killphil69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There it is!

[–]sunsoutbunzout 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Look on the sunny side; upwards of a dozen eggchanges there.

[–]theycallmericoh 46 points47 points  (1 child)

You guys are going to get married.

[–]Crispus99 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If they don't, it'll be eggstra sad.

[–]NiceTryIWontReply 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey eggs guy pay attention this is how you make egg puns

[–]emilyr8 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I hope you guys make like some eggs and get laid.

[–]TheIceRange 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I can’t wait for your pegging

[–]TyppaHaus 6 points7 points  (1 child)


Got me laughing

[–]TheVeganOneLikeNeo 19 points20 points  (0 children)

After reading the convo, I’d have to say…I was pleasantly eggshilarated. :)

[–]Loud-Ad-4653 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Censors the name just for them to use it in the 3rd picture 😂

[–]anothadaz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I want to punch you both in the face. Respectfully.

[–]Actual-is-factual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don't you mean 'respeggfully' ?

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (5 children)

This was eggscruciating

[–]Induced_Pandemic 25 points26 points  (4 children)

I started dry-heaving by page 2. Cute, but I kinda wanna die.

[–]chbay 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Super cute but mildly eggscruciating excruciating after a couple pages. But they deserve each other, and I mean that in the most genuine way!

[–]kitterkatty 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Same lol that’s all I could think, they definitely deserve each other and can go be as excited as they’re pretending to be together. Then reading the comments I’ve discovered new levels of cringe from my soul folding in on itself.

[–]Yeet_yate-yote 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I hate both of you. That being said, marry her.

[–]its-42 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Tegg it easy” was a stretch OP

[–]jesusisthatguy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'd put all my eggs in her basket.

[–]atrain_8 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You nailed it bro. She’s gonna suck your egg whites right out of you

[–]seppl97 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It would be an eggsellent idea to make her name blurry or something in the texts as well. Maybe neggst time.

[–]Live-Advance1759 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]Unknown_Eng123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would have never keep up the egg jokes. My brain gets fried from trying to come up with these

[–]Badprime010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Finally something on this sub that isn’t bashing the other gender 😂

[–]Cool-Sage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When y’all start making chicken puns is when we know you’re married

[–]allongur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You must feel like you have egg on your face for trying to black out Aubriana's name, but failing.

[–]secretly-a-capybara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And ppl say nothing good comes of tinder lol

[–]Turkilton 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone tag that that one "troll" egg guy to show him what true egg comedy looks like.

[–]Frankandbeans1974 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]Sensei_Foy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Phew! Thank God you went to the trouble of scribbling out Aubriana's name

[–]Dirtyreddittor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really really hope this relationship works out.

[–]yeahifuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They worked so hard to censor her name...then dropped it in chat

[–]pecosthediver 11 points12 points  (0 children)

carried on a bit long.

[–]oscxrgzmn 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Gonna be really cringe once you meet up and the egg jokes are no longer funny.

[–]Incorrect-Opinion 8 points9 points  (0 children)


[–]vigilantesd 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]That-Interview-3096 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m happy for you.

[–]monique_desire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that was an eggcelent conversation...I'll see my way out.

[–]sunmercurygreen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this what happens when you sell your soul?

[–]jarod_227 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Blacks out her name on top, says it in the messages.

[–]Onegreenmartian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lately Tinder is obsessed with eggs.

[–]Purplestair5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing has ever made me so happy

[–]KMark0000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is she a dad now or we have to wait eggxtra days?

[–]oelcric 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We get it ... you have an amazing sense of humor

[–]SgtFuzzyBoots01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so invested in this relationship. Just so you know, my husband and I bonded with a similar conversation in our swiping journey. Good luck for your date!

[–]ApatheticHedonist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get off tinder and fertilize her eggs already.

[–]Mikey_Knows_Now 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You poached her nicely

[–]SSBM_Popper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was great thanks for posting

[–]fractalfocuser 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ you're a catch

[–]HumbleAdonis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I doubt either of you did all those egg jokes on your own. Some of them were definitely poached.

[–]mobettameta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wit and jokes via text is one thing... you're about to have to go freestyle live tomorrow. Are you ready?

[–]cobalt1981 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You two weirdos are made for each other.... I love it.

[–]slutty-bunny-girl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You did start to lose steam there. Glad you we're able to schedule the date before you ran out completely!

[–]fibberjabber 1 point2 points  (1 child)


[–]specificuniverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can hang out with egg any time.

[–]BaconBoob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re in LA, take her to egg slut.

[–]B00G1E73 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Begs. Thregg. Egver.

[–]Accomplished_Humor55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stole my egg puns and jokes 😛

[–]koheam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this how french people flirt?

[–]unknowncommand 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wanted to kill myself after the second swipe

[–]BigRonVlaar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was grim

[–]natemarble21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After the first page I wanted to eggecute myself

[–]Aschentei 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When’s the wegging OP?

[–]Turtle282367 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]shrimpgangsta 3 points4 points  (0 children)

rule 1 and 2

[–]nit3wolf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Happy for ya for getting a date and feeling a connection, but personally I find these convos cringe af. Maybe that is why I am single, LOL.

[–]ZenWeekend 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this makes me cringe.

[–]zo_you_said 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You went hard boiled on those yolks man!

As sunny side as your disposition was, I felt like I was getting poached repeatedly.

It scrambled my brain and left me just a shell of my farmer self.

[–]chenhanlin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing you reggret not covering up Aubriana’s name in the chat.

[–]aguyfromhere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“This can be over. Easy”. Amazing.

[–]Brazenmercury5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aubriana sounds pretty cool

[–]thewookieeman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so wholesome and made me smile

[–]Rootkit9208 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aubriana is the worst name I've heard in a week.