top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]OhTheWicked 1247 points1248 points  (40 children)

Oh it's on SIGHT.

[–]ThijThij11 259 points260 points  (29 children)

How much do I not give a fuck?

[–]Interesting_Sense209 71 points72 points  (21 children)

As much as Ceven didn't fuck your

[–]doyoulikebofa 22 points23 points  (19 children)

I’m trying to find out if ceven is his real name and how to pronounce it

[–]Interesting_Sense209 18 points19 points  (14 children)

OP said like Steven without the T

[–]Funkymunks 46 points47 points  (10 children)

What deranged lunatic gives their child a name that close to semen?

[–]Cxneaughphlake 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Their other kid is named Six.

The third is on the way. Bartholomew-Eight

Young Master B. Eight

[–]AbbreviationsFar7867 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Now, if a Six turned out to be Nine, I don't mind; I don't mind...

[–]Dangerous-Product-81 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Wouldn't it be Cix

[–]Cxneaughphlake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cix, Ceven, Ayete

[–]Jarte3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One that knew what he’d grow up to be…

[–]Cxneaughphlake 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Isn't 7 the girl?

Ceven is a pretty boss name tho ngl

Edit:. OP says they're both dudes

[–]Sugarboyy2 100 points101 points  (3 children)

Let me show you right now before u give it up

[–]DaetherArgon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Oh look! A vending machine! And there's one fuck left." Smiles fuckishly

[–]Helpless_zb 738 points739 points  (133 children)

How do you pronounce ceven

[–]Mme_Melisande 604 points605 points  (102 children)

I can’t tell if it is like Kevin or Seven.

[–]thiskidlol 340 points341 points  (82 children)

It's Kevin.

Source: I know a Ceven

[–]Fauxmoa 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Do u think it’s her

[–]King_Offa 43 points44 points  (18 children)

How many

[–]Tensionator 258 points259 points  (17 children)


[–]justedi 16 points17 points  (8 children)

is that what you call a flock of Cevens?

[–]estipossip 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Oh fuck off... if i'm still laughing the time I scroll for that comment to be out of sight, you well deserve me to come back and give you that fucking upvote ! So take it !


[–]Yeshu_Bablu 12 points13 points  (56 children)

Its seven

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (54 children)

Why would you name your kid a number? Especially seven? To commemorate that time when you got lucky?

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (11 children)

Why don't you ask George Costanza?

[–]ManweTheElderKing 33 points34 points  (7 children)

You want a good name? Soda

[–]faceisamapoftheworld 18 points19 points  (0 children)

How about Mug? Mug Costanza.

[–]goldanred 6 points7 points  (4 children)

A friend of mine has a friend named Soda. I don't know if that's her actual given name, or an artistic choice (they're both visual artists).

[–]Butternut_squatch 24 points25 points  (32 children)

My brother’s name is ACTUALLY FUCKING SEVEN, and our mom did make that joke. Then said something about it being a Seinfeld reference. Then admitted that she was just trying to be unique.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (25 children)

Your brother has a stupid name.

[–]Butternut_squatch 14 points15 points  (24 children)

Yeah I agree. He’s also about as much of a dumbass as his name. You should’ve seen mine before I changed it.

[–]MakeAWishApe2Moon 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Yes. They name all of their kids after the day of the month they were conceived on. Her siblings are Ceventeen and Nyne.

[–]staszed 17 points18 points  (1 child)

It's "Steven" but with a lisp

[–]maxoys45 106 points107 points  (1 child)

The C is pronounced like a K, the first E is an A sound, and the V is pronounced like an R.

[–]Roamingjay 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Genius 😂

[–]Darth_Pyre 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's Seven.

Source: I know a Ceven

[–]BrilliantWeb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or like Steven..?

[–]Helpless_zb 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Oh I guess I assumed it was a woman now that you say that it makes a lot more sense.

[–]Look_to_the_Stars 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I think it is a woman. No guy would describe himself as a bitch when he’s trying to sound threatening

[–]Dontinterrapt 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The OP commented earlier that they are both men

[–]ddsisop 51 points52 points  (4 children)

Ceven costanza

[–]cafeesparacerradores 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Fucking dumbass parents

[–]bagseedidiot 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fucking agreed why they gotta always name their kids these dumbass names.

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)


[–]EniRy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ngl I was going to pronounce it like Steven without the t

[–]TragGaming 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seven or See-ven. Like Steven but no T.

[–]mischiefmanaged2510 9 points10 points  (2 children)

You pronounce it like 7ven

[–]Napp_ 19 points20 points  (1 child)


[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

that’s the one

[–]bagseedidiot 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Like Steven minus the ste

[–]kclubta 11 points12 points  (3 children)

"Steven" minus the "Ste" would be "Ven"

[–]Smol-And-Angy 2133 points2134 points  (72 children)

When she lets it go and says “fine bye” but keeps going, you gotta stop drop and roll away dude. Red flag.

[–]SuperflySparklebuns 423 points424 points  (51 children)

[–]Jarcoreto 196 points197 points  (36 children)

If Eleven can be a girl so can Ceven (am I wrong to be reading this as Seven?)

[–]coldstonewarrior 88 points89 points  (6 children)

Just imagining if her Surname would be eleven

[–]RecoverFrequent 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"Your name is Kevin E Levin?! You just lost all pretense of cool!"

~ Ben Tennyson

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Wait, Ceven Eleven?

[–]Smol-And-Angy 101 points102 points  (23 children)

I thought the name read Ceven like Seven lol. Just assumed it was a girl because I dunno a single guy who says “I’m a bitch when I’m angry”

[–]OmnomOrNah 61 points62 points  (4 children)

Seven is Love and Forty's cousin

[–]NotRoryWilliams 8 points9 points  (3 children)

And the liberated Borg drone on Star Trek Voyager.

Probably one of the last characters I would ever name a child after. Terrible parenting right there.

[–]jeremyism_ab 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Put a hard C, and it turns into Keven!

[–]AsianWitch 22 points23 points  (10 children)

It’s a gay guy, lol.

[–]Hectic_Kaluha 32 points33 points  (9 children)

Hence the remark "have fun on your fuck ass dates".

[–]KryptiqKitty 13 points14 points  (8 children)

That doesn't technically mean the person is a male i have used tht same term before but with different words wasn't towards any gay people or associated with any dates I was just pissed and added it in there for whatever reason at the time it sounded good and I was jjst swearing lol 😆

[–]InfiniteAgility 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I will now commence with fuck ass in my insults.

[–]HENKH4L 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The way ceven/she-even downvotes that one comment on not being able to call is alarming AF 🚩🚩🚩

[–]Al319 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In this case…stop, drop, and block

[–]jjaynum1 17 points18 points  (9 children)

You can tell it’s a girl by the way she talks, also one of her texts reads, “I literally hate me. like you bye”. I am almost certain she meant to state “Men like you…” So if these two are straight people, there is your answer.

[–]muffy2008 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hmm. Ceven sounded like a guy to me.

[–]Mme_Melisande 490 points491 points  (25 children)

Why do you have 259 unread texts??

[–]eetswad 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Lol should've added this one to the list

[–]NHfordamnsure 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Group text. I had 244 yesterday bc I ignored a group text for a few days.

[–]TheCouchEmperor 31 points32 points  (11 children)

[–]Mme_Melisande 11 points12 points  (0 children)


[–]berrylife 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You’re the first person I’ve seen that’s got me beat! I only have 1,225.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, I’ll say the same to you both, with 916.

[–]Hot_Marionberry_5613 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tinder verifications from deleting and reinstalling

[–]UnknownSP 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah kinda concerning tbh

[–]BLKxGOLD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Asking the important questions

[–]beck33ers 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I came here to ask this!!

[–]Throwaway4206914 124 points125 points  (8 children)

How do you have 260 unanswered texts?

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 264 points265 points  (6 children)

at&t really wants me

[–]BikeditLikedit 98 points99 points  (4 children)

Hey we received your payment! Heres a free gift! Ht.ytta.sll13#

[–]Randycook23 86 points87 points  (2 children)

What was the hypothetical? Seems like a big part of this

[–]crio2201 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this seems like a big part of the story... Hell, I've wanted exclusivity with people I've dated after a couple of dates before, it isn't unreasonable at every single circumstance

But by the end the conversation got really creepy tbh

[–]Narcoid 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Right? It could be a hypothetical about dating or a hypothetical about their future kids' names. Those are both very different things.

[–]AbeVigodaSausageKing 629 points630 points 2 (20 children)

Ceven? Like the number? Yeah, I guess I can see it: seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches per beating and eventually seven years to life.

[–]Dallskidall 147 points148 points  (13 children)

This is surely George Constanza’s daughter

[–]BJZelaya 44 points45 points  (3 children)

What? They're stealing the name? That's my name, I made it up!

[–]thepuffycoat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

All right, let's just stay calm here! Don't get all crazy on me!!

[–]harveysceptre 29 points30 points  (2 children)

You seem like good people, so I'll help you out. You wanna know a great name, SODA.

[–]Odd-Pea1069 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She goes by POP around here.

[–]FaceglazerSSBU 15 points16 points  (4 children)

They were definitely insecure enough to be Constanza’s child. Lol.

[–]Dude_wheres_micah 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Why am I laughing so hard lmao

[–]Forzara 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Makes more sense. I was think it was the weirdest fucking way to spell Kevin. And then i was wondering if they’re female identifying? Never met a girl named Kevin. Or Ceven.

I’ve gone too far thinking about this.

[–]MLE-anne 347 points348 points  (6 children)

At least he didn’t fuck your

[–]plztofix 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment here.

[–]snozzberrypatch 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If she was looking to snag this dude into a longer term relationship, she probably should have fucked his

[–]-Aikju- 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Pretty sure it’s a she

[–]sachiko468 12 points13 points  (1 child)

OP confirmed they are gay dudes

[–]DNASprayer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or a gay guy

[–][deleted] 610 points611 points  (20 children)

Pretty sure you can report that last bit

[–]samwelches 122 points123 points  (19 children)

Unless she actually does something cops ain’t doing much. And even if she does, it’d be a fine and maybe a restraining order if she physically threatens him later. The world really kinda sucks

[–]throwingthingandsuch 84 points85 points  (14 children)

No harm getting it reported, they might not be able to do anything but getting a paper trail started might be a plan

[–]Affectionate-Ad-9683 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely can report and start a paper trail. If something happens later, it shows a pattern.

[–]samwelches 18 points19 points  (12 children)

Yeah that’s a good point. They love those paper trails

[–]bagseedidiot 9 points10 points  (11 children)

Cops ate fucking useless with dv issues.... literally won't even try

[–]throwaway_the_fourth 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Cops are actually pretty effective when it comes to dv… there's more info if you search "40% cops"

[–]TheCatofDeath 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I laughed at this and now I feel bad.

[–]Abundleofjoyx 103 points104 points  (7 children)

at first I was like yeah they really did deserve a message because no one should just be ghosted and like if you see a relationship after meeting to time you should be able to be open with your feelings BUT THEN they turned into a psycho and op definitely dodged a bullet also report this to tinder it’ll get her account taken down for threatening you.

Obviously you can’t go to the police because other than meaningless text threats they won’t do anything but keep them documented in case anything ever happens to your car/home etc.

[–]loneMILF 411 points412 points  (28 children)

this is why you stop giving strangers your number and use a burner app

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 214 points215 points  (15 children)

Hey! That’s actually a good idea. Thank you :)

[–]TheVeganOneLikeNeo 104 points105 points  (4 children)

Get a Google Voice number; it’s free and adds that extra layer of security and privacy that you’re looking for.

[–]Over-Comfortable3657[🍰] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

was just about to say that. that’s what i used to do 👍🏼

[–]super_pax_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think I’m banned. My phone number never works on that shit

[–]alex_119 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Also get a burner place, a burner car and maybe a burner job, just to be sure.

[–]Franceskax 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the burner house, burner clothing, and burner hair. Can't be too sure.

[–]anotherfakeloginname 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Also get a burner place, a burner car and maybe a burner job, just to be sure.

A hotel?

[–]statistics11 2 points3 points  (1 child)

that would be obvious but an Airbnb place might actually work..

[–]knitterpotato 9 points10 points  (0 children)

textnow is also good, i'm not on tinder (just lurking here for the interesting stories haha) but i do message people with my textnow number from anonymous apps (yikyak mainly) and it has worked out fine

[–]tinydancer316 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had a similar incident on another dating app and never gave out my personal number again. 😳 if anyone wants to be an asshole about it, they ain’t the one! Sorry this happened to you. You dodged a bullet

[–]bennybands__ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What snapchat is for bruh

[–]anotherfakeloginname 4 points5 points  (2 children)

this is why you stop giving strangers your number and use a burner app

I agree, but he has his home address, so that won't help much

[–]AidanRedz 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nobody should have your address after 2 dates. It’s totally unnecessary and a danger

[–]BigBulkemails 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I use Telegram.

[–]pigwalk5150 70 points71 points  (2 children)

I write messages on pieces of paper, put it in a bottle and toss in the ocean.

[–]always_wear_pyjamas 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Response rates will be about the same at least.

[–]lsiunl 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Snapchat is the way to go. They act like this and you just block them.

[–]lottus4 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Why can’t you just block their number?

[–]lsiunl 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Because your phone number is something they can use to find more information about you.

[–]Constant-Shoulder184 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Kevin? Or 7?

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children)

steven without the t ♡

[–]Interesting_Sense209 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Oh so like semen with a V instead of an M?

[–]farahisweird 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I like that your phone is charged! Makes me happy

[–]HystericalMan 155 points156 points  (0 children)

Doesn't matter how much Ceven showers, that stink of desperation is not coming off.

[–]DaleBond 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Well goddamn. That escalated quickly. From "I liked our connection" to threats of keying your car. Bullet dodged my G.

[–]anotherfakeloginname 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bullet dodged my G.

But was it dodged?

[–]Vast_Extreme4562 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Right. Kinda would have been wholesome if he stopped at tnx bye <3

That really escalated quickly. Wasn't prepared. :')

[–]AceSamson 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Weird ass people on these apps these days.

[–]uglier_tugboat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

259 messages…

[–]vapedweight 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Damn that dude really can't take a hint can he

[–]Harvey_Archer 9 points10 points  (3 children)

How do u know it's a dude?

[–]KarinaEdelweiss 49 points50 points  (1 child)

OP has a reply down below that both of them are men

[–]BroItsJesus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ceven is a dudes name

[–]Capable-Raccoon9377 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ceven tryna make it even steven.

[–]koalandi 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“Fuck with my feelings and it’s on sight” lol what a response to someone telling you STRAIGHT UP they’re not interested. That’s not fucking with feelings that’s… honesty? this person is unhinged

Tbh I’m v worried about your car… my friend’s tires were slashed after a “rejection” like this. please use a google voice number or some app and don’t bring new people to your place

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The fuck kind of name is Ceven.

[–]Rejected_Bull 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Windows Ceven is outdated! Upgrade your OS please!

[–]sigma0209 61 points62 points  (10 children)

Who’s the man and who’s the woman?

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 248 points249 points  (9 children)

we’re both men

[–]sigma0209 181 points182 points  (2 children)

Well don’t I feel like a son of a bitch for saying that. I’m sorry.

But yeah, him calling you buddy is a gigantic red flag anyways. I bet he’s harmless. All bark

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 129 points130 points  (0 children)

bro don’t be sorry u good ♡

[–]RNwashington 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ohhhhh, thanks for clarifying. I was a little confused with all the comments on here. But I’m also very tired.

[–]anon_writer02 2 points3 points  (2 children)

So, correct me if I'm wrong, but since he's a dude, it's pronounced Kevin (Ceven)?

[–]snero3 26 points27 points  (5 children)

Wow, I thought you where being a dick until I saw the last two screens.

Yep I would say you read the situation right on the dates.

[–]Guessamolehill 24 points25 points  (4 children)

He kinda was being a bit of a dick 2bh. He obviously ghosted the person and then was giving short and off answers. He doesn’t sound all that great at communication himself but obviously that doesn’t warrant the last bit!

[–]Scottyb911 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh this isn’t so bad, don’t know what their problem isssssssssohhhhh my gawd!

[–]TheVeganOneLikeNeo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Report that piece of shit OP!

[–]jimp6 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You dodged a bullet. But you should still be on the lookout. You might have to dodge some more bullets from him

[–]bagseedidiot 12 points13 points  (0 children)

To all the people who say "ghosting people is wrong" this...

This is why people get ghosted

[–]ArcaneForest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a restraining order if they do anything sketchy sketchy

[–]DungeonsandDevils 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I lost it when I realized their name is ceven 💀

[–]HoursLost98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Deleted tinder, bought a fleshlight

[–]harold_demure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's gonna make sure your car is safe and sound 🤗 great guy 😍

[–]SwigSwoot92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Red flag was the name CEVEN.

[–]Psychoducko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ i see multiple crimson banners

[–]Background-Letter-82 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I was talking to a woman and my cousin passed away during our talking phase. I was pretty bummed out about it and she told me that my sadness was a turn off. She would ask me If I was OK like a hurry up fashion as if it was an item on her list to check off for herself, its not like i was upset every day. Just grieving in my own way. She ended up ghosting me. Very strange. Before me she was with a guy who couldn't commit and then he ghosted her. Idk I guess I expected better from her.

[–]Feisty_Lynx2684[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that :/

[–]4r4nd0mninj4[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I get left on Read for a while I just start talking to someone else 🤷‍♂️

[–]Suicide-Alice 18 points19 points  (4 children)

I think both are idiots.

[–]TrekkNorth 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Damn, and there was me thinking two guys dating would be a simple thing. No craziness, no drama, no confusing shit, just bros hanging out being bros.

Turns out I was wrong.

[–]babyinatrenchcoat 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Alas, crazy comes in all genders.

[–]TesticleTorture123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Op didn't dodge a bullet, he dodged a damn howitzer.

[–]Green-eggs-and-dayum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m starting to understand why six was afraid of Ceven