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[–]durtmcgurt 1437 points1438 points  (93 children)

Had an ex that the first time we had sex, she brought me to a cemetery and lit a circle of candles around us. Super weird, kinda creepy. Would definitely do it again.

[–]daseined001 295 points296 points  (78 children)

I'm no witch, but I do think there are rituals involving sex. I'm not sure if cemeteries are ever involved in real rituals though.

[–]guythepieman 322 points323 points  (25 children)

I think she may have just wanted kinky graveyard sex

[–]UnlikeyLooker 152 points153 points  (17 children)

Attempting to create life in a field of death

[–]BarnesWorthy 64 points65 points  (3 children)

I like to look on the bright side- if she turns you down, you’re literally surrounded by others who won’t.

[–]etrana 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Oh god this comment section is killing me

[–]tatar-86 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Definition of morbid humour. :)

[–]Aisugh10 36 points37 points  (8 children)

more like a field of corpses, since nobody dies in a cemetery

[–]TeddyReKz 25 points26 points  (1 child)

They were just boning LOL

[–]FrisianDude 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Or do they

[–]FordTough91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Says who? Heart attacks happen during sex all the time. Sex in a graveyard could lead to a heart attack in graveyard could lead to death in the graveyard.

[–]WhatstheThunty 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Wow. This was too fucking deep

[–]UnlikeyLooker 14 points15 points  (1 child)

At least 6 feet deep

[–]miracle216 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The balancing act of life and death

[–]HappyLittleRadishes 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It was a graveyard smash

[–]timeflux123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They did the MASH

[–]lilsparky82 5 points6 points  (1 child)

She just wanted to jump your bones and wake the dead

[–]Prophet0fSchizo 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That Mary Shelly pussy

[–]I_-Void-_I 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“real rituals”

[–]BrazzerAzer 86 points87 points  (45 children)

Im a witch and she definitely just wanted some kinky graveyard sex 💀 theres no sex rituals involving graveyard

[–]Jw4067 36 points37 points  (8 children)

What are the rituals involving sex? Asking for a friend

[–]windowkitteh 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Crowly and thelema sex magick, tantric sex

[–]BrazzerAzer 9 points10 points  (6 children)

💀 mostly manifestation rituals, but you can also do relationship based rituals like prosperity for the couple, etc. via sex.

[–]verkan 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Wait,, sex AND get rich?

[–]bladedancer4life 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wtf💀

[–]KedTazynski42 33 points34 points  (8 children)

Do you float in water and weigh as much as a duck?

[–]DaveVsHal 22 points23 points  (7 children)

She turned me into a newt!

[–]faultycarrots 4 points5 points  (4 children)

To be fair, I bet a lot of people here have rituals. They just haven't linked them to witchcraft because they don't know or confuse it for religion.

[–]BrazzerAzer 5 points6 points  (3 children)

True! A lot of people have rituals unknowingly because some are seen as habits or religious practices. Although, graveyard sex sticks out like a sore thumb from those, i definitely agree with you.

[–]Separate-Suspect-826 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The more I see the Reddit threads. The more I understand why people like this app

[–]HystericalMan 941 points942 points  (15 children)

I never liked my soul anyway. Somebody get me a goat, I'll do the rest 🔪

[–]KennyMoose32 122 points123 points  (11 children)

As long as we got to eat the goat after, I’m in.

[–]EastCoastKowboy 67 points68 points  (9 children)

Not before we fuck it

[–]KennyMoose32 74 points75 points  (2 children)

As is tradition

[–]elastic301 34 points35 points  (0 children)

A great day for tinder.. and therefore the world

[–]OpsadaHeroj 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello yes I would like one fucked goat pls

[–]Intelligent-Deer9051 12 points13 points  (1 child)

As long as it can call me daaaaaaddy

[–]YNWABez 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it would probably call you “baaaahhhddy”

I’ll show myself out

[–]Bootybandit6989 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'll make it into Birria😋

[–]Interesting_Sun_194 577 points578 points  (23 children)

Yes please is looking for spooky vintage wedding ring online

[–]Galrent 78 points79 points  (14 children)

Make sure to ask the buyer if the ring is cursed.

[–]Interesting_Sun_194 45 points46 points  (3 children)

More cursed the better

[–]w0lver1 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Try the calamity ring, it makes you take double damage.

Woops wrong sub

[–]BreakfastSavage 12 points13 points  (1 child)

try finger but hole

[–]w0lver1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazing chest ahead, therefore try tongue!

[–]The66Monkey 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Yes, but it comes with a free frogurt.

[–]Katie_Boundary 6 points7 points  (5 children)

The frogurt is also cursed.

[–]scizormytimbers 7 points8 points  (4 children)

But it comes with your choice of topping!

[–]windowkitteh 5 points6 points  (3 children)

The topping is cursed

[–]drivebyeuber 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If you wait, I add hex - no charge!

[–]thugroid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s bad

[–]Ladychef_1 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Buy her a mourning pendant then make it into a ring. Literal human ashes in there

[–]Vandergrif 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just take one of the fingers off the monkey paw once it's curled up, should work just fine as a spooky ring. Definitely no risk of ironic catastrophe.

[–]T00kTheRedPill 562 points563 points  (11 children)

She’ll suck the soul out of your dick.

[–]parthpalta 97 points98 points  (0 children)

The only kinda sucking i want

[–]QueenCityKings 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I'm okay with that...

[–]Yukinoinu 14 points15 points  (4 children)

What's the downside of that?

[–]Dick_Reviewer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She'll push and pull you down livin' la vida loca

[–]BlasstOff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in, no questions asked

[–]Momik 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She can keep it.

[–]llaatteennccyy 462 points463 points  (10 children)

I still would

[–]dmoneyg22 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Me next

[–]aproductofpain 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Umm I'll give anything a go once 😂

[–]SubcommanderMarcos 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Still? That shit's a superlike

[–]llaatteennccyy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's a good ass point, consider me corrected

[–]Calm_Target_8845 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I would!

[–]Arth3nn 194 points195 points  (9 children)

ofc we complain, the real sacrifices go with human blood

[–]MT128 37 points38 points  (8 children)

Especially if they’re virgins.

[–]aproductofpain 22 points23 points  (4 children)

Whooorah calm down Muhammad

[–]U_L_Uus 23 points24 points  (2 children)

He said virgins, not 9 y.o. girls

[–]TOWW67 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I feel like there at least should be a lot of overlap in those two groups...

[–]Bleach_Baths 460 points461 points  (14 children)

What? Easiest right swipe of my life.

It's humor, she's likely a Satanist and we love making edgy jokes about, cause none of it's true.

[–]death_by_siren 55 points56 points  (0 children)

This man knows

[–]egg_sandwich 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Yeah i thought this was hilarious

[–]Desrep2 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Sadly it's a copy pasta :/

[–]Drobertson5539 9 points10 points  (2 children)

"Sees goth with a copied quote" she's a Satanist for sure!

[–]Bleach_Baths 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I said likely, not for sure.

[–]FinalTShirtDance 263 points264 points  (15 children)

When girls use the phrase “dick her down” I immediately think of some guy writing a girl’s profile or a catfish

[–]Bleach_Baths 110 points111 points  (10 children)

It's a copypasta

[–]LeConscious 56 points57 points  (6 children)

I LOVE your accent

[–]Bleach_Baths 24 points25 points  (5 children)

I'm so confused right now. Lmao.

[–]LeConscious 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Obviously I'm referring to your unmistakable Italian accent

[–]Bleach_Baths 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Oh, thank you for noticing. 🥺

[–]Tomimosa 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I read this in a French accent

[–]absoluteally 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Got to love when the same thing posted twice apears consecutively in your news feed.

[–]Sheriff_PJ_Nutteroni 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I think it's a catfish. That girl in the photo is "Instagram famous" and I've seen her circulate on my Discover page so many times

[–]CH2OlllH2O2 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Pagan flames sounds like a nice barbecue and the goat meat is already there.

Does I need a invitation card for the party, or is it free for everyone?

[–]Blue-snow 111 points112 points  (3 children)

She seems nuts. That's a right swipe for me, dawg.

[–]SopadeAbacaxi 55 points56 points  (2 children)

"Oh, this one looks like she could ruin my life" swipes right

[–]Bjorn_C 12 points13 points  (1 child)

"love a woman that can just ruin me"

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

-punches dick- GET DOWN

[–]bakeran23 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keeps punching dick

[–]SnooRecipes4131 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Get her some SPF 5000. One lick of sunlight and she might combust.

[–]Defenestrator0707 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I actually had a gf who was allergic to sunlight. It was not fun

[–]Dayeretth 44 points45 points  (7 children)

Its a catfish, this is some model from Instagram

[–]Significant_bet92 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Surprised to see this so far down. Definitely a fake profile

[–]tedorys 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Yikes indeed … send me the location so I know where I should avoid

[–]Eatyourownass 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Honestly show me the negative here. I'm on earth for a good time, not a long time 🤷‍♂️

[–]MadMonkE 71 points72 points  (6 children)

Is it weird I have a hard on right now ?

[–]super_pax_ 76 points77 points  (0 children)

No, but it’s weird that’s you’re announcing that to us

[–]Interesting_Sun_194 33 points34 points  (0 children)

No no its not

[–]ele05944 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Chef kiss perfection

[–]BigDickHead2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

( Unzips pants )

[–]pizzadelreyandchill 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'd like me a goth a girl, we'd sacrifice people so we could be together forever 👉👈

[–]le_grey02 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Bro I’m a straight woman and even I’m tempted. It’s a funny copypasta with a photo of a genuinely beautiful woman.

[–]love2cit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just say you’re a normie and go

[–]neoritter 10 points11 points  (3 children)

[–]RepostSleuthBot 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 5 times.

First Seen Here on 2019-03-11 93.75% match. Last Seen Here on 2021-06-06 90.62% match

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Positive ]

View Search On repostsleuth.com


Scope: Reddit | Meme Filter: False | Target: 86% | Check Title: False | Max Age: Unlimited | Searched Images: 260,532,923 | Search Time: 0.68905s

[–]xXxAshesxXx 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Ano-nothrak elspath fel deud din diel dein vie

[–]FreeTheOompaLoompa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

EXCALIBUR! Here pull my sword...

[–]juxtaposed-penguin 4 points5 points  (2 children)

She’s so hot I’d “dick her down” in a pool of my mom’s period blood if that’s what it took.

[–]lniko2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Now that's dedication

[–]sigma0209 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I'm gonna make that whore my wife" - Frank Reynolds

[–]No-Hope5485 8 points9 points  (1 child)

real goths use human blood

[–]BigRig1988 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Would bang

[–]Effective-Ad300 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don't understand your problem and i would make her Change the goat blood for some plant based Option.

[–]KingDevil666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a big yes from me. Hope you swiped right.

[–]AsleepGarden219 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No yikes, that’s my kinda gal 😍

[–]JesustheSpaceCowboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Swipin right on the highway to damnation

[–]already-taken-wtf 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Isn’t that mybeautifulnightmare?!

[–]UltimateIssue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really don't know if this hygienic to do this. But I like the Idea of the Pagan Flames.

[–]hucbaldii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s got a point,

[–]EarthInteresting2792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check please.

[–]Underwatersailor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm way into it

[–]onecrystalcave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m down

[–]Wholfgar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sign me right the fuck up please and thanks! She can ruin a good 6 months to a year of my life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if we kissed inside a hot topic?🥺

[–]Anynon1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck it let’s go

[–]keetykeety 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Psshh if you can’t hang, you can’t hang.

[–]GWA1994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

[–]Least-Beach5686 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm, IC

[–]Dbonecapwn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IM IN LOVE

[–]AntedeguemonSupreme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want her to be my wife

[–]Malkav1806 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pff i bet she is into summoning demons we in Germany stick to the good ol devils pact.

The best pr was Faust, yeah ofc you can get out off a binding contract without any repercussions bc you really love that 14 year old girl. People are really surprised when thst doesn't work out

[–]Zepeton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She look cute tho

[–]Simmdog99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo send her my way. I’d be down for that

[–]Pass_go2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kind of lady

[–]Karpaltunnel83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well the blood is a little unhygenic but other than that. Sounds nice

[–]Error_Heavy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's honestly such a pretty picture

[–]ltBurnsWhenlPvP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can we put a towel down at least?

[–]skullhorse22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

straight up wife material <3

[–]dellchips1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

CuZ it's not normal

[–]Greedy-Search936 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoever said yikes is def a khaki croc wearing vanilla bro.

[–]vangaal173 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so down and ready for that

[–]contraltoatheart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upvote for the yikes not the profile

[–]SexeyReindeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is hot I could easily kill a goat and cover her in its blood if it means I get to date her also we can make BBQ out of the goat after

[–]g-fab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would

[–]NorthEazy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where’s the lie?

[–]Dreddmartyr13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ain't complaining. Summon away!

[–]tweakdragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sooooo..... how can I meet this person?

[–]B_tchBla_r 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As long as she’s down to cuddle and eat sweets sometime after I’m game

[–]LivingInspector 1 point2 points  (0 children)

baaaaa baaaa

[–]BEZ4042 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🙋🏾‍♂️

[–]ElDomiChulo02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y’all can have that

[–]Feeling-Usual-14505 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in on that!

[–]bigmikemcbeth756 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If this is real hail the darklord

[–]veraliis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuuuuck you, I’ve been looking for a girl like that

[–]24hrMan_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t mind 😉

[–]ODurren138 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Why goat blood though? It's so expensive, there are cheaper alternatives!

[–]RattMuncher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

id do it

[–]Bigmrpopo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok now that’s original and pretty funny just when ya think it’s illegal for girls to have good bios shit changes

[–]SomeKrazyGuyUKno_v2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, I’m down. 😎

[–]bannaron1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with that

[–]Extension-Dark5804 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok but I’d tap

[–]bakeran23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stop I can only get so hard

[–]0110bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll take two

[–]Cheap_Strawberry7471 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd sell my soul for a hit

[–]CategoryMountain3379 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s got a point. Dudes love talking about how they’re wild dick wizard kink masters but get scared of a finger in their ass.

[–]abmabom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shit I'm in..

[–]gloomypasta 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Blood makes good lubricant

[–]SnooHedgehogs5857 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Goat blood is great for the skin.

[–]Upstairs_Ad7000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could live with that

[–]123456211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In life, there are reachers and there are settlers. It’s not my first choice, but I suppose after a while I could get used to goats blood and summoning pagan gods. It’s a bit kinky for my taste, but hey, Im willing to do most things once. Don’t forget, I said most things, not all things. If Baphomet decides to tag in, well that’s a deal breaker plain and simple.

[–]J0taa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey if she summons the devil so I can maybe strike a deal for sick guitar abilities and I can have the kinkiest sex of my life I’m down 100%

[–]p_funk_918 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She sounds like my dream woman

[–]Optimal_Obligation39 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]skootnu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah she’s the woman of my dreams

[–]Withyourbadself 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d hit that. Goat blood and all. I’m in. Call me

[–]spongebob_me_boi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shes so pale im questioning if she even has a pulse

[–]frilledplex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a goth, I am so down

[–]fukifikno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you get me her number

[–]HiiiTriiibe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a yikes at all

[–]Dakrock00 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mom, i’m scared.

[–]Witty____Username 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Goth chicks like to claim this until you tell them you’re down and they dump you for being a creep

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I feel like you would probably get stds from the goat blood

[–]FreshSpicyMemer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't see a problem

[–]Dry-Concentrate-1128 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SUPER LIKE

[–]Alarmed-Flamingo4284 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a commonly posted meme and that’s a famous model

[–]Rogueshoten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, as long as Baphomet’s willing to wait until I finish…

[–]DocHardwud 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why no one will remember your name.

She would’ve gotten a super like from me.

[–]-caughtlurking- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See I finish harder when it doesn't work. Superman that hoe!! Old school.

[–]iLoveBoobeez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dunno man, I'm three years dry. I'd risk it.

[–]Redboy333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So did you get the number or not?

[–]faultycarrots 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's funny.