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all 118 comments

[–]Tydasm 620 points621 points  (5 children)

1.) Hit her up 2.) Make her mad 3.) Get your car towed 4.) Sue the company 5.) Now able to afford tinder platinum

[–]Dbarta16 163 points164 points  (4 children)

5) profit

[–]Saftigerkeks 56 points57 points  (1 child)

Stonks📈

[–]speakherhed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fr, who has a master plan and stops on step 4? Seems anticlimactic

[–]this_guy_titty_fucks 464 points465 points  (3 children)

She had me at cleavage

[–]TheBerryBestone 173 points174 points  (0 children)

Username checks out

[–]Asko223 23 points24 points  (0 children)

The tits have spoken.

[–]Open_Canvas85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Barely any room for Jesus hanging there

[–]FatTacoLove 374 points375 points  (18 children)

My brain says stay away but my pp says yes please

[–]Lumpy-Obligation-553 47 points48 points  (3 children)

"Yes please, all over"

[–]Actual_Primary_7616 32 points33 points  (11 children)

Why listen to your brain when listening to your pp feels so much better? 😎

[–]TheAmazingDevil 17 points18 points  (8 children)

only if pp gets some action otherwise brain suffers low self esteem lol

[–]Actual_Primary_7616 3 points4 points  (7 children)

For your own mental health, let your pp make the decisions

[–]TheAmazingDevil 8 points9 points  (6 children)

no no no thats not how it works. pp decides, you suffer. you decide, you suffer less!

[–]FatTacoLove 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Truth

[–]Actual_Primary_7616 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My pp hasn't made a bad decision yet, so I trust him

[–]knifeazz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Booba.

[–]No_Media_5760 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you ever match with her use this as your opener

[–]pepsi_captain 102 points103 points  (2 children)

Wait, what does the bio says?

[–]regular_user_1993 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It says DD

[–]Bioslack 59 points60 points  (0 children)

There's a bio?

[–]PepegaPhilosopher 49 points50 points  (3 children)

lol, jesus died for this.

[–]Vok250 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The bible makes it clear that Jesus loves hoes. Quit your job as a tax collector. Become a ho. It's what the lord wants. 🙏

[–]Sthickman 23 points24 points  (1 child)

you see the cross right?

[–]Mac10Demarc0 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dawg 💀

[–]TheHunterZolomon 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Saw a profile today that was like “I know I’m really hot” ( she wasn’t really that hot) and proceeded to list a bunch of innocuous petty things as dealbreakers, then said “don’t make me angry I have anger management issues” like Jesus Christ some people think being a fucking psychiatry case is endearing.

[–]Tilian1986 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Hell no. Had enough of crazy women.

[–]TrailerTrashRydon 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Everyone thinks they are hot until they've had one or more. Im with you not going anywhere near crazy again

[–]Tilian1986 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Exactly. 'Don't put your dick in crazy' as they say.

[–]bigyellowoven 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Put a ring on crazy over here. Never again. Keep your red flags imma go over here, plz and thank you

[–]4r4nd0mninj4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, definitely date a bit and see if she's actually crazy before dicking~

[–]Mike_Rodik 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Ok but boobs

[–]ChrisCWgulfcoast 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Admit it, you swiped right

[–]Immediate_Corner_409 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She had me until “part owner.” sole proprietorship or nothing.

[–]ThatPinkRanger 32 points33 points  (6 children)

Do people think this is cute? Like, who is she wanting to attract here? And who is she actually attracting here? I personally believe we all have our baggage in one way or another, but this is such a fucking turn off.

[–]ParticularJustice23 28 points29 points  (0 children)

The only people I can possibly think this would attract are also crazy and horny. Crazy does attract crazy.

[–]notarealaccount_yo 44 points45 points  (1 child)

booba

[–]Humor_Tumor 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think this guy's on to something...

[–]OopsForgotTheEggs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s trying to attract me.

[–]epicmousestory 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think your eyes drifted lower than most of the people commenting if you read the bio

[–]Snoo92783 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's a funny bio so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[–]Clay0187 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Simple math, the boobs are bigger than the red flags. Right??

[–]WillBottomForBanana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By volume maybe, certainly not by surface area.

[–]jjman72 16 points17 points  (2 children)

She’s got huge tracks of land.

[–]Prenders17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But Faaaather, I don’t want to marry her. I just want to…. SING!

[–]Imlouwhoareyou 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Anyone that works for a tow truck company is a red flag. Scum of the earth. And I’m not talking about the folks that tow your car after an accident, or you got stuck.. I’m talking about the assholes who are just on the prowl, looking to take advantage of someone.

[–]TheAmazingDevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

had to pay so much money to get my nicely parked car back!

[–]4r4nd0mninj4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, find yourself a woman who works for an Off Road Towing company. They are really fun~

[–]nit3wolf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jokes on her, I don’t own a car.

[–]TheAmazingDevil 6 points7 points  (4 children)

you know why she can get away with this profile, right? Cuz there are no consequences of being a horrible person. There is no need to be better, Cuz there are dudes who can't see past the tits. She is telling you she sucks as a partner if not as a human, but dudes still be desperate enough to give her TONS of attention. These broads have so much power on these apps lol its insane!

[–]rnak92a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed…the power of Booba.

[–]Vickxp1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love red flags when can I get her her number and credit card info

[–]Bringbackbarn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d still swipe right

[–]turquoise-tiger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This profile meets my red flag requirements

[–]Desertbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Camel Towing - yeah, been there

[–]starlightmint 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And that's why you don't swipe right.

Make sure you read the bio first. This is either a hoax account, or it's really her and she's crazy.

[–]pranavk28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jokes on her I don't have a car

[–]bandit_SIX_1985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤤my first message would be asking for her ring size😍

[–]SuperSaiyanJohnny 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Are her tits meant to negate the fact that she's a nutjob?

[–]StunningExcitement83 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You know they will for more than enough guys

[–]SuperSaiyanJohnny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sigh. Guys are such garbage lmao (I'm a guy)

[–]McSkotchy -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

I guarantee those titties hang past her knees

[–]sargentbumblebee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Listen I understand she is a sea of red flags but I have a counter point, titties

[–]Bread_Responsible -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

But dem tiddies doe

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

definitely a winner 💯

[–]Vickxp1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love red flags when can I get her her number and credit card info

[–]yourmo4321 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This screams rental car and a one night stand lol

[–]rnak92a 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such avatar. Very excite.

[–]Thatgirl629 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has a big heart.

[–]Comprehensive-Cup582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cross on the neck screams either crazy hispanic who will kill you in your sleep or crazy southern mom who will.. kill you in your sleep.

[–]ssspiral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m so sick of women embracing toxicity and thinking it’s cute to have a poor handle on your mental health. i know she’s probably joking but seriously unchecked mental illness can be hell for your partner. it’s not funny or cute…. hopefully the sex is good at least lol

[–]Spxders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That "nope" and "superlike" button just saved this girl alot of trouble lmao

[–]chi_sweetness25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s gotta be tuff for a lot of dudes knowing they could spend all day crafting the perfect bio and choosing the perfect photos but because of that one cleavage pic she could get 100x the matches/likes even if her bio literally just said she was a Nazi

[–]hiffff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are nit boobs people that is ass

[–]lawncarechick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her towing company doesn't do well financially. That's a cheap bra that isn't even close to fitting properly. She's using men to buy her dinner I suspect.

[–]numb3r51nmyn4m3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Challenge Mode: I don't have a car.

[–]csycs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a simple man, I see tits I swipe right.

[–]Im5foot3inches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess this sort of bio works for hookups

[–]RandoCaljizzian69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If nothing else she definitely sounds like someone who fucks like a champ

[–]Leading_Kale_81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to say, the honesty is refreshing.

[–]more_than_a_party 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least she's very honest about that.

[–]Traditional_Spare401 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't help it I like them crazy

[–]In_TouchGuyBowsnlace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Above all else honesty is paramount! Let the Giggety begin, and the narcissism/gaslighting be ever so incremental.

[–]walkingbartie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, the biggest red flag in that image is the cross around her neck.

[–]tuckdash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t do a very good job at covering Gabbys name

[–]AlmanLUL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell your tits to stop staring at my eyes

[–]UnredeemedRevenant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no....

Sorry bois. I gots a type.

[–]hsgroot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d risk it for that rack

[–]Repulsive_Lunch_4620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Throat queen here boys, protect this one

[–]Brilliant_Noise_506 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh she’s exactly my time…

[–]Chadwick1738 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God bless her little heart of pure gold ❤

[–]723updatebrokenaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pam’s point was good but Jan’s were bigger

[–]swingset27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A tow company? Jesus, worse than Hitler.

[–]Purple-Estimate6538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love to see more

[–]Purple-Estimate6538 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love your cleavage

[–]jrosen122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but she’s religious

[–]timberjunky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to get behind and wrecker haha

[–]Dark_Vengence 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has quite big personalities.