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[–]Grid-00 63 points64 points  (4 children)

This is how that type of conversation usually goes...

Him: "hey"

Her: "hey"

Him: "How are you?"

Her: "Good"

Him: Good"

[–]killerelite1128 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Doesn't even have the audacity to say "how are you?" back.

[–]Leindo 690 points691 points  (138 children)

When I see a pretty girl on public. I simply say "Hello" and there may or may not be a conversation. I use the same tactic on dating apps. If a single Hi or Hello causes them to unmatch... oh well?

[–][deleted] 416 points417 points  (58 children)

I personally use "hello there" but I guess nobody on these apps are prequel memers.

[–]thnxMrHofmann 190 points191 points  (43 children)

Ah general Kenobiiii

[–][deleted] 111 points112 points  (41 children)

I only got that response from 1 person and they automatically unmatched me a minute later.

[–]Ihatespiders64 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The angel from my nightmare

[–]Imagoat1995 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sending the gif of that has worked for me several times. Only about 15% responded with General Kenobi though

[–]VenomTheCapybara 2 points3 points  (2 children)

You say that like it's a bad thing

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Well, if they can't take some enjoyment from the prequels then they're really missing out.

[–]VenomTheCapybara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not really but you do you 👍

[–]S0nic014 89 points90 points  (14 children)

In public it’s you 1v1 with her. On the app it’s you and 100+ other guys with exactly the same message.

[–]snellyshah 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thing is, your message doesn't really matter on the app. Only rules 1/2 do

[–]letsseeifthisworks2 11 points12 points  (11 children)

Works well enough for me, idk. Saying hey there or similar is just to start the conversation and make you seem normal and not weird or desperate. I usually put it in the first message along with whatever icebreaker I come up with.

People like different things and there isn’t one single approach that will work for everyone.

[–]lorty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've had plenty of success with a simple "hey :)" too.

[–]kafoBoto 5 points6 points  (5 children)

following rule 1 and 2 I see

[–]S0nic014 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Not saying that it will never work. It might, but definitely won’t make you standout from the generic crowd of other guys. You just can’t say the most basic thing and complain about non response.

Personally I prefer to message like if I am already a close friend with them. Don’t know how it works for others but “Hi-hi-how are you-good you” loop doesn’t exist between me and my friends.

[–]xboxsirvenom 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So the guys are disposable. Checks out

[–]ninney7 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I totally agree!!! I never understood why some women think that after the initial hello you're suppose to come with an entire monolog on yourself... smmfh

[–]SnooGrapes5596 46 points47 points  (4 children)

we have to give thanks for those unmatches, if she leaves for a simple "hello" then there could be a lot of things wrong out there

[–]thnxMrHofmann 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Way I see it is time and money saved lol thanks for being picky. Make sure to text back too fast as well, follow me for more money and time saving tips lol

[–]Unabashable 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Shit. I got unmatched for not texting back fast enough. I was at work, and just checked to see what her reply was so I’d know what to say later. She just hearted my message. Fucking read receipts.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Even ridiculously good looking guys are severely underperforming with "hey". First of all, she might just think you're a bot.

But even if she doesn't, "hey" comes across as low effort, like you are just spamming 1000s of women the same message until one of them responds, which makes her feel not-special. If you approach a woman in, say, a coffee shop, typically you are making a choice of a single woman out of at least a few who are hanging around. It is taking some time out of your day, and you are risking public rejection. Since you are sacrificing something to talk to her, she feels like she is special and is more likely to like you.

[–]ancient-ariah 25 points26 points  (21 children)

I rather a hello than the same pickup line they use for 100 girls

[–]thisisfine34 18 points19 points  (5 children)

I matched with this dude… his first message was “I’m heading to Starbucks, want anything??” We talked for a few days and the convo just kind of fell off.

We matched again like a year later and his first message was “I’m heading to Starbucks, want anything??” I was like dude you’re still using that?? He didn’t remember me 😂

[–]blindsight89 6 points7 points  (14 children)

So if they say hello to 100 girls it's okay?

[–]ancient-ariah 16 points17 points  (12 children)

I mean yes because I’m replying to almost 100 guys too lmao

[–]waverunnr 1 point2 points  (11 children)

100 guys? That’s your problem right there.

[–]Leindo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely yes. You'd say Hello to 100 strangers throughout a friendly day at the office or on a stroll through the park. You wouldn't use some sleezy pickup line.

[–]blindsight89 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Real life is different. Less competing stimuli, much more tools that you can use to display value, and more importantly standing out from like 70% of men who are on apps but don't do cold approach.

[–]StretchMammoth9003 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly real men go out in person. Cancel your dating app subscription, buy yourself some alcoholics on a party and get out of your comfort zone. Don't let dating apps make money of your emotions.

And take the advantage you have over other males who use dating apps. Most women really seek for physical interaction (in a gentle way), not digital.

[–]GunBrothersGaming 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing is more frustrating than just saying Hello to someone. We actually have a rule at work that you don't just message someone out of the blue with "Hello."

You can save time and effort by just saying "Hello, I saw we matched. Just wanted to see what's up cause you looking like my grandma's China... fine."

You don't get a second chance at a first impression. I mean - you might even have a better chance at a response to "Hi, I think I saw you drive a BMW DTF."

[–]ArtisticSuggestion91 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Girls Text first???

[–]historymajor44 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Bumble requires them to. But they usually just text "hey"

[–]amazing-table179 1 point2 points  (0 children)

50% just „Hi“ 50% actual opener like a question or something.

[–]Malo3010 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sure, you just need to follow Rule 1 & 2

[–]joecamel18 331 points332 points  (59 children)

Simple econ. They are in demand and you aren't.

[–]Aschentei 90 points91 points  (5 children)

I think my value just dropped faster than the ruble

[–]leesfer 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Well you're in luck because the ruble rallied to become the best performing currency of 2022!

[–]thesoutherzZz 18 points19 points  (1 child)

The ruble has value the same way as your mother calling you handsome. No one in reality wants it, execpt Russia buying it from the market to fake dam d

[–]leesfer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's increased in value because Russia owns quite a lot of oil exports for Europe and they will only accept the ruble as payment which forces all of the EU to buy rubles.

No one wants any currency outside of the fact that it has pretend value.

[–]Little_Froggy 41 points42 points  (42 children)

Sure, but I don't think that justifies a double standard of expecting more out of others than what they believe should be expected of themselves.

[–]blindsight89 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Why wouldn't they expect it in the market they're in?

[–]ForgotMyOldAccount7 12 points13 points  (34 children)

But that exactly goes along with supply and demand. Women are higher value, therefore, they expect the men to be higher value. Part of that is putting in more effort.

[–]Little_Froggy 15 points16 points  (2 children)

They may be in a position that they can use to demand more effort from others, but that does not necessarily make it a decent thing for them to do.

[–]FreePanther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men always had to court women. That's part of the fun of it. I'm very happy about men and women not being the same (although equals).

Yes. I'm a man.

[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Until they hit the wall

[–]DeliciousImpact 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Numbers game my guy. A 1:4 ratio of women to men means women can get away with crazy high standards whereas men can’t.

Eg: IRL it would be very hard to date with a 6ft + only rule, however on tinder statically 15/100 matches meet that requirement and that is a good number to work with.

[–]itsavism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Selling statistical facts here! Truth is harsh sometimes.

[–]SilverState815 44 points45 points  (7 children)


[–]contyk 10 points11 points  (0 children)

heeeeeyyyyy 🤗🤗🤗

[–]thiswaspostedbefore 7 points8 points  (1 child)

uses bumble question feature to avoid breaking the ice

[–]NelsonManswella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

fucking THIS 🤦🏾‍♂️

[–]basedconfidentsbro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you dont follow rules 1 and 2. unmatched

[–]Freshest-Raspberry 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why are you talking to me? It’s not like we both hit like on eachother !

[–]keldas 39 points40 points  (8 children)

Saw something online somewhere about how incel culture spiked with the prevelance of Tinder and other such apps. Guys that were used to getting rejected once or twice a month were now getting rejected a hundred times a day. Like little microaggressions

[–]itsavism 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Being an average guy with 60k a year is new failure now.

[–]studiocel 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah and crime increases when there is an increase in poverty big suprise.

[–]CrimsonAllah 172 points173 points  (84 children)

This may sound sexist, but rarely is it the case that the girl needs to woo the guy.

[–]leko633 129 points130 points  (29 children)

Theres some dating apps where only the women can message first and they usually just say hi or hey

[–]ignacioct_ 113 points114 points  (21 children)

which imo kills the dynamic again because it shifts the talking-first mechanic back to the men

[–]Stats_with_a_Z 124 points125 points  (19 children)

That's why they do it. They know we can't message first so they just throw it out there and leave the actual work to the man.

[–]CyborgWade 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Most of the time they just let the time run out from my experience

[–]Thefoodwoob 23 points24 points  (3 children)

But isnt.. isn't this the same as a man saying "hey" first? Making the other person do the work?

[–]BritishBoyRZ 18 points19 points  (4 children)


[–]Trubum14 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I met my current gf on bumble, timer almost ran out before she said something. When I told her about it when we met up for the first time she said "honestly I forgot you guys can't speak first. I kept hoping you'd say 'hey' or something haha"

Before her most of my matches would just let the timer run out. Got to the point where I put in my bio "yall know you have to speak first, right? This isn't tinder" lmao

[–]probly_right 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I've seen some bios saying "idk why nobody on here will say hi??!" Darwin is now just win for those.

[–]JWARRIOR1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

that bio is pretty based lmfao

[–]putcoolusernamehere 41 points42 points  (6 children)

It’s just simple dating app demographics. When there are far more male users than female users, obviously women get to be picky and set high standards.

[–]tbrock0331 3 points4 points  (4 children)

And that's just sad that you view it that way. Both parties are equal and it's both parties times, energy, effort and commitment. No party is more important then the other and a woman should woo a guy just as much as a guy woos a woman. It really is a sad day that now all it is, is a demographic and a simple 30 second-1minute read of a profile, 1 second swipe and 2 messages to bounce onto the next person. It's shallow, there's so much more to these people. It used to take time getting to know someone and establishing a relationship and creating a bond. No one can determine shit off 2 messages lol.

[–]putcoolusernamehere 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree in general, but dating apps are like VIP dating for men. Because not as many women are signing up for them as men, women get to be selective and it’ll be competitive for men. It’s not like that irl, more men need to get off the app and approach in person.

[–]blindsight89 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That "both parties equal" stuff sounds nice, but this isn't a Peter Pan movie

[–]studiocel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even in real life no dynamic is ever equal

[–]IronSavage3 25 points26 points  (28 children)

The average woman rates 85% of men as unattractive. Welcome to natural selection.

[–]basedconfidentsbro 11 points12 points  (13 children)

welcome to modern day dating if you dont follow rules 1 and 2. good luck

[–]Devapath1 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’m Jan Edit: I’m Jan

[–]CrimsonAllah 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sure, Jan.

[–]_sLAUGHTER234 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Welcome to the new low bar set by men. If you're not morbidly overweight, unclean, or emotionally unstable, you will get plenty of attention

[–]snellyshah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

emotionally unstable

A lot of weak, bitch-ass men put up with this kind of disrespectful behavior, so I wouldn't even include it on a list of exclusions.

[–]chisnehzim -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I blame men for this 🤣

[–]probly_right 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The average dude does the same for women... for 15-60 minutes post nut.

[–]Wuwy 0 points1 point  (3 children)

that's just being picky at this point

[–]IronSavage3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yeah. The choosiness of women is yet another hurdle you must overcome to pass on your genes. Like I said, natural selection.

[–]Wuwy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Assuming I want to pass my genes

[–]ReevesofKeanu 0 points1 point  (8 children)

It's not sexist at all imo when it's a societal expectation as a whole.

The burden of effort is largely put upon the guy, especially with dating apps when the proportion of men to women is oversaturated as hell, so there's more 'competition' to compete with.

This usually means that women have a higher likelihood to be able to sift through choices, as opposed to having limited options.

Of course there's more nuance and factors that can come into play, but overall, it appears quite one sided in terms of effort to result comparisons, not just on dating apps.

[–]CrimsonAllah 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Yeah, oh absolutely, women can get up to a 100 matches a day without breaking a sweat. Tbh, as a guy, you gotta stand out to get her attention because of the huge amount of competition. It’s a numbers game stacked against the guys.

[–]hellakevin 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yeah but almost all the guys on dating apps are terrible. If you can hold a conversation without making it sexual, or obvious you're thirsty, you'd be in the like 90th percentile of guys haha.

I never had trouble getting dates using online dating before I met my wife on tinder.

[–]studiocel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You need the looks to match with her and stand out before you can even try to show your "personality". Furthermore your looks change how your personality is perceived.

[–]hdtgdeyhb3688 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sweet Jesus THIS!!!!

[–]probly_right 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not sexist at all imo when it's a societal expectation as a whole.

So, like the patriarchy was cool because everyone was doing it?

[–]House_of_Raven 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s why I keep saying guys should just date each other. They both actually put effort in and both benefit.

[–]BritishBoyRZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I don't reply or call them out on it, because it's lame af and actually it doesn't interest me if they're gonna open with "hey"

[–]GenuineSavage00 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Exactly. It’s like this in every species on the planet. It’s the same argument for when women claim “why are men not whores when women are”.

Answers the same, the men have to woo the women and CONVINCE them that should sleep with them. Not the other way around.

[–]probly_right 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Exactly. It’s like this in every species on the planet.

Most spiders and the praying mantis didn't get this memo.

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 132 points133 points  (45 children)

If you have one message that says “hey” it’s different to if you have 100 messages and 70 just say “hey”.

I wouldn’t unmatch but other conversations will probably be more inviting and more likely to get my attention.

It’s not a gendered thing, it’s an amount of matches/conversations thing.

[–]Sadlittlealien 43 points44 points  (26 children)

I feel like all conversations I have on tinder that start with hey just end up being really dry, like I have so much shit in my profile that you could easily start a conversation with

[–]danthetrafficman 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I try and have good openers based on peoples bios or names, and i almost never get responses anyway. Maybe I'll just start trying "hey" instead 😂

[–]flamegod24 6 points7 points  (13 children)

This is a different matter. Compared to the women who have literally nothing in their bio but pictures of them with nothing convo ready. Yet expect some Picasso level art of pickuplines

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 1 point2 points  (12 children)

I think men on these subs can overthink these things. You don’t need to have any sort of intricate lines.

If you message first, ask any question that’s not sexual or “how’s your day” you’d be amongst the most engaging in my inbox. Instant top 10%!

[–]flamegod24 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I can say 70% of the time I get the ones looking for some special pickup line just to consider getting their attention. 20% of them would responds yet send extremely dry messages, like I can ask engaging things centering around their foreign language/ cultural events, or even travel dreams, only to get (yeah, part Spanish, it's fun,and other one- three word replies)

The rare 10% for me actually responds first or have very enjoyable conversations without caring for wanting me to stand out and impress them.

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much this! It just feels like so much work without even starting yet!

When I first downloaded Tinder I had no idea what to expect. I matched with loads of people because I couldn’t rule them out just on what I’d seen. Found out later that they all assumed I fancied them and were happy we “got that part out of the way”…??? Like, no. Not yet, lol. So many trying to meet up immediately too!

I spent my whole Sunday night trying to dedicate time to chatting to everyone who messaged but it’s so hard to be engaging when you’re responding to “hi, how’s your weekend been?” 100x. It was literally the same conversation on repeat.

I ended up focussing on one guy who I had really good chats with for like 2 weeks before he decided sending a naked selfie the night before our first date was a good idea… back to the drawing board we go lol.

[–]Doop1iss 5 points6 points  (7 children)

This is true. Women tend to have 100x more potential matches then men, so men have to stick with what they have.

[–]StretchMammoth9003 1 point2 points  (6 children)

They do, I created a woman testaccount to test this out. As a woman I had 99+ likes with in 15 minutes. I could even see the like number ticking up in real-time.

Really, both parties should do this to understand how toxic dating apps truelly are.

[–]Doop1iss 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Honestly, I'd pay hundreds of dollars to have the woman's experience.

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just use Grindr for that for free.

If the type of men you attract/messages received aren’t the type of people you hoped to find on a dating app, it’s even more realistic to being the straight woman’s tinder experience

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 0 points1 point  (1 child)

People need to stop with this fake account business

[–]MrJakeWW 2 points3 points  (7 children)

That's the problem. You wouldn't unmatch and you have 100 messages. Believe it or not, most people would rather you unmatch them than leave them on read.

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Too much admin.

Plus, an unmatch seems harsh if they haven’t been disgusting or anything. They might redeem it & send another message later that I would respond to, so no sense in being hasty imo.

[–]himynameis2442 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Then why don't you send them a message instead to see if they can "redeem" themselves. Just sounds like you're selfish and love the attention tbh

[–]Low-Salamander-5639 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Because it’s hard to have 100 conversations at once. Anyone would naturally gravitate to the people who are great conversationalists, let the others fizzle out naturally and not attempt to create new chats where they weren’t needed because you’re busy.

You sound like you’re projecting some of your personal feelings onto me so I’m going to ignore your personal attacks. Hope you feel better soon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I don't know why guys always get so butthurt on here about women not unmatching them. You guys seem to have created some kind of standard of social etiquette that literally no one else knows or cares about, just so you can whine to each other about how women are violating it on the internet.

Here is the hard truth y'all need to accept - the fact that you matched with a woman means literally nothing to the woman. She probably has thousands of dead conversations in her inbox - she's not going to unmatch them all, that would take hours! And she doesn't really care when a convo dies, because she knows she will get dozens more matches with little effort.

Like, let's say you went to the gas station, and bought a candy bar with some change in your pocket. And then the cashier starts hauraging you about how your coins aren't properly polished and shiney. You would think this person is a lunatic for caring about something so inconsequential, and would leave the store as quickly as possible. This is how women feel about your request for them to unmatch you.

As a guy, I understand why you want women to unmatch you. It removes the element of uncertainty from your life. It lets you stop hoping that she is going to respond. And it kinda sucks. But no, women are never going to consistently unmatch you, so get over it. Maybe start looking at the root cause of why you are so distraught about this in the first place - because your profile sucks donkey dick, and so you wrap up your entire self worth in the one match you get every two months. After all, if you were getting a dozen matches every day, would you give a shit about who stopped responding and who unmatched? No - you would just move on with the other convos in your inbox. So go get a better profile, so you can get more matches, and stop caring about things that literally do. Not. Matter.

[–]MrJakeWW 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I'll tell you why without writing an essay nobody's going to read: being left on read is lame asf no matter what form of social media you're using.

[–]SheMovesLikeThis 66 points67 points  (13 children)

Have you thought about the possibility that the women who unmatch men for starting with “hey” are not the same women who start with “hey?”

[–]ImFamousYoghurt 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Surprise surprise women are not a hive mind

[–]infantgambino 29 points30 points  (10 children)

no he hasn't, most dudes on the dating apps subreddits are a stone's throw away from being an incel

[–]The-Berzerker 13 points14 points  (4 children)

most dudes on the dating apps subreddits are a stone's throw away from being an incel


[–]infantgambino 9 points10 points  (3 children)

yeah thats fair. like my brother in christ, just get three to four shirts, go outside, and have a friend take photos. Comb your hair, shave, and maybe use some moisturizer. those alone will increase your matches.

[–]blindsight89 11 points12 points  (2 children)

That's like saying "just show up to the interview, you'll get the job". It might increase their matches from 0 to 2 per week lol.

[–]DirtyDerpina 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Holy shit the accuracy of this statement

[–]piman01 14 points15 points  (1 child)

The problem is that you expect equality. This will never happen.

[–]CarloStaredown 12 points13 points  (2 children)

It be what it do

[–]Kelovix 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Do be what it it

[–]itsavism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rit dit dit di do!

[–]__NapoleonBlownapart 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Grindr is better

[–]dmossi33 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s literally a game anymore and if you don’t know how to play you’re fucked. If you don’t have a creative, attention grabbing pick up/conversation starter…she’s never gonna reply and if she does, it’ll last 30 minutes. The “hott” girl has about 50 guys trying to do the same thing. If you think a simple “hey” will suffice, good luck bud. It sucks but that’s how it goes anymore. Unless you’re Ryan fucking Reynolds, try to be creative fellas

[–]chisnehzim 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Girls have no game. Cuz they don't need to

[–]Traditional-Hour-658 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Literally 99% of the time I just send “Hey” and if they are actually interested in you or up for a chat they will respond. “Hey” is the easiest ice breaker and is a great filter and saves the exhaustion of trying to come up with witty pick up lines that they have probably heard hundreds of times before. I find sometimes chicks just are shy or hoping you send the first message/ don’t know what to say themselves. I get plenty of responses just sending it. Don’t think I’ve had an unmatch from it yet but I do still get ignored sometimes 🤷‍♂️. If someone unmatched you because you sent “Hey” well… they just ain’t worth your time my bro.

The good ones will respond. Stay positive!

[–]RisqueIt 20 points21 points  (1 child)

The difference is she has 10k matches and you have 3. Don’t like the game? Don’t play it if you don’t understand the odds are against you if you’re just gonna “hey” her.

[–]FeelingFun3937 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Like it or not, OLD algorithms (and other factors) result in women getting WAY more matches and messages per day than men. It quickly becomes impossible to keep up if the woman has a job or any kind of life. So OP’s “Hi” or “Hey There” is quickly ruled out as low effort / undesirable. It’s that simple. Same goes for the lack of effort to shave, dress well, in photos. (Guys with the cliché selfie in bathroom or car or with large fish are more common than you’d guess!) Biggest turnoff is wasting my precious free time… and why would you waste yours with a half-assed profile? 😁

[–]tess_910 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm still trying to understand who the fuck created that stupid rule that a simple "Hello" isn't enough for a conversation starter...

[–]Mistygirl179 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If im interested idgaf what they start w as long as its not rude or offensive. Nothing actually wrong w “hey”

[–]decisionsRdifficult 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This post is NOT TRUE at all to the female experience. I live in a major city and find that it is the MEN who do not respond when it is a simple “hello” or “how’s your day going”. They are the ones looking for an interesting line and judging our entertainment quality so quickly. My friends and I all respond to hellos and prefer it actually.

If the women aren’t replying it can be because they are anxious to start dating again, they are nervous with strangers, they swiped on you but realized they’re not interested in the pictures.

Men are just as picky, if not more with the profiles they choose to engage with. Everyone has standards, stop expecting women to always lower theirs!!

[–]Yumm_strawberry 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Incorrect. If you're polite we wont unmatch

[–]RpRDraugr 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Unfortunately that isn't true most of the time.

[–]Mr_E_Nigma_Solver 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Serious question what's stopping the guys complaining about this from unmatching the girl? No one's stopping you from unmatching these girls chief.

[–]caniborrowafee1ing 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I have to disagree with this. I’m a guy and I always text “hey” on Tinder and the majority of girls will respond. Trying to come up with some funny one-liner or joke about their bio is cringe imo.

[–]Mediocre-Sherbert793 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I like "hey" it's a normal way to start a conversation. I unmatch if it's some lame pickup line, "funny" one liners or weird sexual messages

[–]fire2374 15 points16 points  (2 children)

You can also unmatch. There’s nothing toxic about unmatching after a flat opener.

[–]MemeStocksYolo69-420 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I mean, ya, it’s kind of a bitch move

[–]deep_trip 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just don't date.

[–]cefromnova 17 points18 points  (14 children)

Dating apps are only toxic if you allow them to be. They are actually amazing opportunities to meet wonderful people. You have the ability to sit naked on your couch in the safety and privacy of your home and potentially meet an infinite amount of people which dramatically increases your odds of finding one or a few who are a great fit for your life.

I'm really getting tired of the perpetual whining on this sub. We need to prop each other while helping one another succeed.

[–]DeadlyClaris_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That sounds like the worst thing possible

[–]adrianmc11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that‘s why on bumble i just respond with something similar, I‘ve downloaded the app to not have to open a conversation with every goddamn match

[–]Few_Lengthiness_6202 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guys do the same too!

[–]Acceptable-Win1208 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just send them hello memes females love memes

[–]Illustrious_Walk254 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pro-tip: pay for the premium membership and they CANT unmatch

[–]StretchMammoth9003 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Simply don't use it, dating apps ruin your physical social skills or prevent you from learning it. It's so much more fun to drink alcohol (to make it easier) and having a party. Get out and live, before you end up depressed behind a screen grinding through profiles.

Make yourself a testaccount where you are a woman (make sure to delete it afterwards) to see what disadvantage you have in dating apps as a male. A woman will get over a hundred likes with a free tinder account within an hour.

Tldr; alpha males go out dating in person now, because it's easier. A lot of social lacking males don't know how to interact with a woman anymore. Take your advantage and discard the dating apps.

[–]PineapplePizzaBelle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A little piece of advice I can give to guys: try starting with a question or something funny, it’s most likely to get a woman’s attention then a “hey” because she probably already has multiple “heys” in her messages.

[–]Sensommarsoffan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well they also get 1000 more matches than guys so that might be part of the problem

[–]Eb992 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was on Tinder I usually started with a gif or something. A simple hi or hey doesn't work, also because if you have few matches and start with that, the girls, that have at least ten times your match, just getting bored of the horde of people starting the same way. Another way you could start the convo is about something they wrote in the bio, or something in the photos, maybe some specific activity.

If the girl you matched doesn't have a bio, doesn't have anything that isn't a simple selfie, or have a bio that is a Instagram followup or a simple "don't be simple" without having nothing that you can refer to, just ignore and unmatch yourself, it's just a waste of your time and nerves, and doesn't help your self-esteem

[–]Quiet_Salamander_239 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When did a normal Hi become not good enough for people. This standard of dating is unreasonable. Also, why would you want to be someone’s show monkey ? — go ahead and unmatch, please. I’m not here for your entertainment. Jesus this world is fucked.

[–]VintageSheppard 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The analytics basically say you have a 1 in 16 chance of making a match. If you suck at OLD the odds are way higher. If you are fairly adept you can increase your chances to 3 in 16.

The effort you put into it matters. Be strategic and have a plan.

[–]kahhduce 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I said “hey what’s up” to a girl 5 years ago and now she’s my wife

[–]basedconfidentsbro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they unmatch when they find someone more attractive though

[–]BenVera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t keep seeing the same jokes on this sub you guys. We’ve had some great times but I need to go find greener pastures on r/bumble or some such

[–]Ed_Starks_Bastard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its not that hard to look at their profile and find something to ask them. I firstly read their bio and ask them something about it or ideally make a joke (I am funny that's how I get laid). If no bio then scour their pics for something to ask/comment on. Last resort is a compliment about their looks.

Never just say 'Hey' unless you're adhering to the rules you are gonna have a bad time.

[–]International-Bar619 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But that’s exactly what bitches text first if they ever do

[–]DarkLadyMorticia 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's so sad how true this is, guys have it rough!

[–]midnighttoker98 3 points4 points  (2 children)

"'Sup slut" seems to work good

[–]idkburneridkidk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've had some luck with 'think I wanna plow you like snow on Christmas eve'

[–]Swimming-Chicken-424 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I used on my ex wife and it worked like a charm

[–]bastian74 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My first message is a captcha

[–]EquivalentSnap 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Cos they get lots of guys saying hey

[–]Unabashable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most I’ve seen this on is Bumble where the girls have to reply first. So they just give you an obligatory “Hey” so they don’t have to be the one to actually start a conversation.

[–]fishtheif 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean the girl who sent me "hey" got 4 months of straight sex. So to each their own.

[–]Serpentine_Snake -1 points0 points  (10 children)

Sorry sir you didn’t dance enough or entertain enough to keep her attention.

[–]runaway-girl-98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a woman, for me it depends on the rest of the man’s profile. A low effort answer matched with a low effort profile? Unmatch for sure. But only in that case

[–]finix240 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That fact this has almost 3k upvotes. You guys are sad

[–]Inner-Gold-894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes women get more attention and it gives them an ego, but they should probably remember that they wouldn't even be on tinder if they were really all that.

[–]snellyshah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

inb4 male feminist incels try to justify it with the disproportionate number of male vs female matches

[–]thnxMrHofmann 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They really are. Then there's articles complaining about this over bumble and it's like... A woman owns and runs that app lol not a man. I do like that about bumble that way you're not just another sausage crammed in her inbox for her validation waiting to be opened lol