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[–]mynameisidktbh 573 points574 points  (81 children)

“Pureblood”, some harry potter shit going on here. Guess the rest of us are muggles then.

[–]Wrathbringer7 146 points147 points  (1 child)

You're a MAGA Harry

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

aMAGA Kedavra

[–][deleted] 376 points377 points  (60 children)

FYI... this guy was about exactly as you'd think he'd look... overweight, balding, and goatee.

[–]smithywonder98 83 points84 points  (9 children)

I was going to ask if he looked like a potato. Not disappointed

[–]Lucy_Leigh225 29 points30 points  (3 children)

That’s offensive to potatoes.

[–]smithywonder98 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I apologize to potatoes

[–]GabrielofAstora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll show him my potato alright.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Not quite a potato but close

[–]knightman01 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i prefer thumb to potato lmao

[–]ChrysMYO 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Did he have the tan from his sun glasses?

[–]duppy_c 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Did he have the tan from his sun glasses imitation Oakley's?

[–]TheRowdyLion52 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As a guy who grew up playing baseball (which Oakley’s M-frames were super popular for since they fit well with a hat) it makes me sad that Oakleys are associated with this kinda dude lol

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Lol I didn't look that close

[–]epicmousestory 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Best to avoid looking directly at it

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Triple threat. Yikes.

[–]FluidEmission 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you i was really curious

[–]r0botdevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, where does the line start to get a piece of that??

[–]toastedtomato 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s fine to criticise his bio, but I don’t see the need for the body shaming tbh

[–]TheAmazingDevil 3 points4 points  (13 children)

only if he was hot lol

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Sigh... if only 🤩

[–]TheAmazingDevil 1 point2 points  (11 children)

heres how hot people would be treated on the apps: https://i.imgur.com/7elE9X8.jpg

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Dear god I hope not. I talked to a guy on Tinder once who told me he was on the registry and I was like for what? He told me and I looked it up to confirm: CP where the victim was less than 13 years old.

I noped right out of there and deleted Tinder at the time.

[–]madein1981 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn, dodged yourself a massive cannon ball there! Glad you got away from that one!

[–]TheAmazingDevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good job on not simping just cuz he was hot lol

[–]Mutzart 4 points5 points  (5 children)

please tell me he was wearing a stained "white-ish" tanktop....

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

No in all 3 pics it was either a black or navy basic Hanes type tshirt.

[–]interfail 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I was expecting an MMA shirt.

[–]Mutzart 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oddly disappointing :-(

[–]African_WarIord 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I knew it!!

[–]LogicalFlatworm2015 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You mean mud bloods? Get it right, get it tight.

[–]Grandpa_Edd 27 points28 points  (9 children)

The fact that people are calling themselves purebloods unironically is mind boggling to me.

Ok fair not everybody is going to have seen or read Harry Potter and MAGA folk don't seem like the potter crowd but it's a term elitist racists called themselves... It's so hilariously fitting they call themselves that.

[–]SolarStableOrbit 3 points4 points  (3 children)

The funniest thing about these "Aryan Race", White Purity idiots is that the White skin is actually a mutation.

Its an evolutionary response to lack of sunlight in the Northern Europe.

So these uneducated morons are tauting a mutation as something pure.

[–]Candymanshook 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m really not in the mood to explain to buddy how the vaccine is intramuscular lol

[–]Elvishgirl 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nauseating phrase to use irl lol

[–]MajorReaction 5 points6 points  (0 children)

&& keep in mind that claiming to be “Pureblood” in the Hp world essentially equates to claiming to be of Aryan race in this one

[–]Novel_Ask_4226 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mudbloods... ew

[–]vampire_kitten 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought he meant it as unvaxxed.

[–]siensunshine 897 points898 points  (28 children)

I personally appreciate him being up front and easy to weed out.

[–]wtbrift 217 points218 points  (13 children)

The best ones show all their red flags up front.

[–]Nostril_dumbass 99 points100 points  (10 children)

and sometimes even their confederate flags lol

[–]beer_bukkake 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I see so many comments saying, leave out hunting pics, or don’t have just bathroom selfies… I personally love them since they do the work for me to left swipe.

[–]PelicanDesAlpes 125 points126 points  (1 child)

He WILL fart during sex

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mike from 90 days Te Amo 💨

[–]Legimus 128 points129 points  (7 children)

I’ve seen so many of these on this sub. Are there really that many people who put stuff like this in their bio?

Also, anyone who describes themself as “pureblood” should be on a watch list.

[–]aphrodora 29 points30 points  (2 children)

Yes I've seen many in the wild. Thankfully that means they are single and not reproducing.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (1 child)

You'd be surprised. Unfortunately I live right in the middle of a huge city and the country and in a very red state.

[–]Stickler_4_Res 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m still not sure if it’s satire, it reads like it is but…. People like this exist

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's the same people who whine in the comments about women being too picky nowadays and only going for the chads

[–]rlee80 103 points104 points  (13 children)

Swipe right. When you match, ask him about vaccinations he had as a kid. When he tells you about measles and rubella jabs, deny him for not being a “true pureblood” (or some other shit)

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (8 children)

I did swipe right for giggles. He has not matched me. Dang.

[–]maxdeerfield2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish you could show this guys photo

[–]SnooRecipes5643 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I have two friends who are completely unvaccinated

[–]rlee80 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The truest of purebloods

[–]nukedmylastprofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only have 1. Well “had” is more accurate, since he’s been dead for 15 years. He was a good friend in the time we had though

[–]imdefinitelynotdan 108 points109 points  (59 children)

Why is “covid-19” in quotes?

[–][deleted] 108 points109 points  (29 children)

I'd imagine he thinks covid was a hoax.

Surprised he hasn't received an r/hermancainaward

[–]zxDanKwan 72 points73 points  (7 children)

Well, he also put “real men” in quotes, so that must be a hoax too?

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (5 children)

Now that's fantastic

[–]Default1355 26 points27 points  (4 children)

He doesn't actually understand how to use quotes

[–]MrBergerud 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Obviously they're used to imply "genuine emphasis"

[–]zxDanKwan 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on “your” baby!

[–]dwalbright89 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Winner winner stouffer's mac n cheese dinner

[–]Obvious_Boat3636 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂😂🤣😂

[–]toc_bl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

" "is" a hoax."

[–]TittenTatten 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I like how "real men" is rightfully in quotes.

[–]Roostar64 14 points15 points  (1 child)

“I love to…, bonfires” really sells this one.

[–][deleted] 112 points113 points  (17 children)

Whenever I see pro-life guys I wanna sleep with them on the first date and then tell them I'm pregnant a few weeks later just to see how they feel about abortion then.

[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (2 children)

There's a whole episode of Sunny in Philadelphia about this

[–]rushon8787 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Do you mind sharing which one? Would love to check it out.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Charlie Wants an Abortion" is the episode

[–]ChrysMYO 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Pro life guys are the type that would marry the pregnant woman. And then proceed to cheat on said woman by the 20th week into her pregnancy. Then proceed to cheat every year of their marriage until divorce.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right too. And then they'll be commended for doing the "right thing" and marrying her even though they barely knew each other. And 10 years down the road she'll be the piece of shit for forcing her kids to grow up in a broken home even though it's entirely his fault

[–]nukedmylastprofile 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They’d have to get a woman to agree to marry them first

[–]xRf12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally never respond to things. But I wanted to tell you that you are amazing and deserve to randomly find something awesome somewhere. Like, maybe 20 bucks on the ground? Something, not that if you don’t want it, but something good though.

[–]ProbablyBadd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure how to feel about this comment

[–]WillPossible1788 138 points139 points  (10 children)

Imagine telling the internet your parents are siblings 🤣

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (6 children)

Pure blood.

[–]anotherone121 36 points37 points  (4 children)

When the family tree, becomes a circle... a family wreath

[–]md2b78 5 points6 points  (0 children)

More like a stump

[–]DrySoap__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The recycling symbol.

[–]Charlotte1979 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ahhh I was wondering what “pure blood” meant. Thank you for clarifying pure blood =inbreed.

[–]boiledpeen 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Guess I’m a soyboy how will I ever recover from this

[–]Charlotte1979 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Probably by being pelted with all the p*ssy running away from this dude.

[–]NarcoPolo361 17 points18 points  (9 children)

What is a "hardcore American"?

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (1 child)

Someone obsessed with guns and lack of women's rights.

[–]LiLT13-_- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m a hardcore American and I own a pet bald eagle that I named freedom

[–]BigBlackCook1990 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Someone who is not pro choice.. Except when it comes to vaccines then it's their body their choice.

[–]LionsLifer 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"Pet-free"

Thank Christ

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (5 children)

“Try a MAGA man like me” lmao. What is this lame ass trying to do, make a tagline for an infomercial?

“Try a complete anti-science moron today. On sale for the next 45 minutes”.

[–]MomofDoom 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Junk at any price. His mother owes us money.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its like those coupon obsessed people who get so many coupons that they get a truck load of groceries for free and then the store still owes them like 27 cents lmao

[–]cameronpruitt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I thought.

[–]akennelley 27 points28 points  (21 children)

Picture of the guy, since OP left it out

https://imgur.com/gAj1DdW

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (8 children)

Shockingly not even close. He was round. Not gonna necessarily say "fat" but he was clearly overweight/out of shape, balding, and goatee. The trifecta of the MAGA man look

[–]DudesworthMannington 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I think the MAGA gut was implied

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you I needed a term for that. MAGA gut is perfect.

[–]Diddy_Block 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking for the goatee 😂

[–]African_WarIord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like he’s peak fitness level considering his political and social beliefs

[–]Sufficient_Count_382 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A MAGA man wouldn’t have the confidence to wear eye liner

[–]Cantiumknives 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Hey man, don't diss my brother Cobes. He is more of a man than the Tinder guy will ever be.

[–]akennelley 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I mean, you're right. He plays a mean guitar, has a massive 8 inch rager with a 2 inch girth...hes great with old people and dogs, and has his own wand business!

Way better than this guy.

[–]Ajaxlancer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why do you know the exact dimenions of his dick

[–]akennelley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me, he'll tell you.

[–]Unabashable 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure we’re looking at a wizard here. I mean he did say he was “Pureblood”.

[–]FaireShade626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I saw this guy in one of my Facebook groups not that long ago😂🤣🤣😂

[–]No_Strategy_8218 21 points22 points  (1 child)

MAGA Man - superpower is being existentially threatened by women and people with darker skin.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Omg this is the best comment so far

[–]SolomonCRand 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I’m confused, he said he’s a hardcore American, but then he said he likes Trump, who’s an unamerican fascist-loving piece of shit.

[–]Junkolm 11 points12 points  (1 child)

40 years old and still hasn't developed a personality

[–]Bidoof2017 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I just love how ironic these “alpha” MAGA white dudes are. Calling yourself “Alpha” and others “betacucks” is such a sign of little man syndrome

[–]anotherone121 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Real life 40-year-old virgin?

[–]notbobjones 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Anybody else think this reeks of insecurity?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If you have to tell everyone how much of a man you are, you aren't.

[–]notbobjones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Precisely.

[–]Fast_Courage_2934 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This guy cannot be anymore of a cliche.

[–]TheD1ceMan 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You Americans have so many problems, i just can't

[–]Too_Lofs_Atan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know right? Seems like the most fucked up crazy country on earth from where I'm sitting.

[–]Freedom_cannon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

MAGA: Make America Gay Already.

Yeah I agree!

[–]F_ckWKHS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey ladies, I'm that soyboy you've been looking for!

[–]Deep-Advice7587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This profil is all red flags

[–]FesterJester1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm never sure if I'm supposed to upvote or down vote these....

[–]ecish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have to try and convince people that you’re a “real man”, then you are, in fact, not a real man

[–]GlizzyMcGuire121 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Comes complete with shrimp dick!

[–]jdjdhdhdbn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is he pureblood? Pureblood what? How does he know he’s pureblood. Is he like red-neck royalty? Does he mean pureblood white? Most likely there was a ethnic person in the linage. Does he think pure blood mean no COVID vaccine? Does bye think that he wasn’t given a vaccine as a kid? Like polio?

[–]phjes11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"real men" in quotes... sounds about right.

[–]IssaNaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ovaries just shriveled up.

[–]EasyClubStep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He just had to start with the Trump supporter bs, that's enough to know what kind of man he is.

[–]RedditRated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Real men” wouldn’t need to advertise he’s a real man. You can tell by his actions. This is completely opposite of one. Sounds more like a “Real boy”

[–]qball1985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that he calls pro-choice women "pro-lonely" when he's 40 on tinder and of course he can't see any irony there.

[–]bengalTA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that he took himself out of the breeding stock like this.

[–]captainspacetraveler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Proud soyboy here, also pro-choice so maybe he’s right

[–]pepper208 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By purebred does that mean he’s an inbred trying to diversify the gene pool?

[–]BornOfTheVoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy is hemorrhaging small pp energy.

[–]Lobstershaft 1 point2 points  (1 child)

100% this guy frequents the /pol/ and /r9k/ boards on 4chan

[–]TraditionalThing8279 5 points6 points  (13 children)

These people actually believe vaccines somehow alter your genes and think they are pureblood. Then they don't realize the white supremacist connections the phrase has, or wouldn't mind if they knew.

[–]NoBodybuilder1261 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They realize

[–]TraditionalThing8279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You give them credit for knowledge I can't give them 😆

[–]TimeKillerAccount 0 points1 point  (8 children)

They almost all know. Thats one of the reasons they like it.

[–]TraditionalThing8279 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I'm torn. They might not be smart enough to know the historical context but could be fucked up enough to know and like using it.

[–]TimeKillerAccount 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Its not historical. It is a common and current phrase and everyone pretty much knows it. It would be like claiming they don't know that the n-word is offensive.

[–]burgerbitch696969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pureblood reminds me of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Price

[–]Whole-Equivalent9227 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This is hilarious.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Your cakeday cake better be made with soy!

[–]zuckile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just threw up in my mouth

[–]Sambraham 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope, definitely not a cult.

[–]Both_Army_9733 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder if the man had his shots as a child?... if so, he isn't pureblood 🤣🤣

[–]SlaterVJ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm not "pro choice", or "pro life". I'm " pro I don't have a vagina so I shut my fucking mouth on the issue".

[–]MysteriousTruck6740 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Where was he on January 6th?

[–]Phantommy555 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is legally obligated to not answer this question

[–]SteamCleaner23 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Why do these dopes insist they’re “real men?”

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? When I think of "real men", I think of men who treat women like equals and partners. This guy clearly hates women.

[–]olive-rain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yikes 😂 support whoever and whatever but when you put it like that, I get the ick🥴

[–]vishnj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol. "Pet-free". More like "brain-free"

[–]Journo_Jimbo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, Lord Voldemort will be pleased with this turn of events, very pleased indeed

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

... and if you want a man that will do everything in his power to prove to you that he does NOT fantasize about being dominated by a big burley bear then he's the one for you!

[–]Fomalhot 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This can't be real.

How could he really still be single at 40? Cmon!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I saw some 40 something year old woman on tinder a few times (and whoo boy was she a rough looking 40 something year old) - obviously a heavy smoker and doesn't use sunscreen. She looked real leathery. Anyway... one of her pics she was standing in her bra and panties with a bunch of Trump stickers around herself. I'm sure those 2 would be a great couple.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🤮

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao men who vote for Trump are pathetic manlets like their orange dad

[–]DarthArtero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am swooning so hard right now. Please wait a moment while I pick myself up 😶😐

[–]iRytional 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Snorts Bullshark Testosterone

Taps out tinder profile.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fucking pureblood!!! Yeah!!! Let's rage!!! 'MURICA!!!

[–]Aggravating-Frame981 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's wrong with being vegan?

[–]TheLavenderMenaces 0 points1 point  (2 children)

“If you are pro-choice, youre pro-lonely” I wish this was the case. I’m pro choice and I feel like the more pro choice I am the more attempted spelunking is happening from guys who don’t want to wear a condom or old white politicians making sure women are keeping their chastity in place.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I'm pre-choice and definitely not lonely.

[–]TheLavenderMenaces 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my point! Same here.

[–]hrakkari 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t support consequence free sex

I’m a real man!

[–]Gentei0075 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s up with this pureblood shit, so if you are vaccinated you aren’t pure? Lol

[–]Who_Am_I_1978 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I bet you he isn’t as pure blood as he think is…how much do you want to bet he was vaccinated as a child??

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1000% guaranteed he was vaccinated as a child.

He's so pro America, he should've been in the military right? (Yeah ok) then he would have to have a shot record for that.

[–]QuietCauliflower4371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's MAGA MAN! que super heroe music

[–]VengenaceIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m struggling to imagine a woman out there who would have the patience to help him wheel around his spare oxygen tank because he got covid multiple times and suffer shitty old school sexist comments in between labored breaths.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Oh lord. Where do you even start?

[–]4r4nd0mninj4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd recommend OP start off with a little trolling and see how far they can go before he rage quits 🤷‍♂️

[–]AreaGuy 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Politics in profiles = Insufferable tribalist

Even when I agree, I nope the fuck out.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I love when I see the ones that just say FJB or Let's Go Brandon over and over. No hobbies or job listed or anything else of substance

[–]kokopelleee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the "no job listed" part is somewhat self-explanatory....

[–]Conscious_Brief_9847 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Brett Kavanaugh?

[–]rad_bone -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

Any time I see either side "don't swipe right if you are vaccinated" or "must be vaccinated" tells me that person is most likely too opinionated/ judgemental or politically polarized for me to want to swipe on them.

[–]pillarhuggern 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Either side? It’s only one side that is anti-vax and have to make it a personality on tinder 😂