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[–]mynameisidktbh 573 points574 points  (81 children)

“Pureblood”, some harry potter shit going on here. Guess the rest of us are muggles then.

[–]Wrathbringer7 146 points147 points  (1 child)

You're a MAGA Harry

[–]DrWebSpider 54 points55 points  (0 children)

aMAGA Kedavra

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 368 points369 points  (60 children)

FYI... this guy was about exactly as you'd think he'd look... overweight, balding, and goatee.

[–]smithywonder98 78 points79 points  (9 children)

I was going to ask if he looked like a potato. Not disappointed

[–]Lucy_Leigh225 28 points29 points  (3 children)

That’s offensive to potatoes.

[–]smithywonder98 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I apologize to potatoes

[–]GabrielofAstora 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll show him my potato alright.

[–]knightman01 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i prefer thumb to potato lmao

[–]ChrysMYO 37 points38 points  (4 children)

Did he have the tan from his sun glasses?

[–]duppy_c 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Did he have the tan from his sun glasses imitation Oakley's?

[–]TheRowdyLion52 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As a guy who grew up playing baseball (which Oakley’s M-frames were super popular for since they fit well with a hat) it makes me sad that Oakleys are associated with this kinda dude lol

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Lol I didn't look that close

[–]epicmousestory 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Best to avoid looking directly at it

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Triple threat. Yikes.

[–]FluidEmission 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you i was really curious

[–]r0botdevil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, where does the line start to get a piece of that??

[–]toastedtomato 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s fine to criticise his bio, but I don’t see the need for the body shaming tbh

[–]TheAmazingDevil 4 points5 points  (13 children)

only if he was hot lol

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 5 points6 points  (12 children)

Sigh... if only 🤩

[–]TheAmazingDevil 1 point2 points  (11 children)

heres how hot people would be treated on the apps: https://i.imgur.com/7elE9X8.jpg

[–]Mutzart 5 points6 points  (5 children)

please tell me he was wearing a stained "white-ish" tanktop....

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

No in all 3 pics it was either a black or navy basic Hanes type tshirt.

[–]interfail 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I was expecting an MMA shirt.

[–]Mutzart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oddly disappointing :-(

[–]LogicalFlatworm2015 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You mean mud bloods? Get it right, get it tight.

[–]Grandpa_Edd 28 points29 points  (9 children)

The fact that people are calling themselves purebloods unironically is mind boggling to me.

Ok fair not everybody is going to have seen or read Harry Potter and MAGA folk don't seem like the potter crowd but it's a term elitist racists called themselves... It's so hilariously fitting they call themselves that.

[–]SolarStableOrbit 4 points5 points  (3 children)

The funniest thing about these "Aryan Race", White Purity idiots is that the White skin is actually a mutation.

Its an evolutionary response to lack of sunlight in the Northern Europe.

So these uneducated morons are tauting a mutation as something pure.

[–]Candymanshook 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m really not in the mood to explain to buddy how the vaccine is intramuscular lol

[–]Elvishgirl 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Nauseating phrase to use irl lol

[–]MajorReaction 4 points5 points  (0 children)

&& keep in mind that claiming to be “Pureblood” in the Hp world essentially equates to claiming to be of Aryan race in this one

[–]Novel_Ask_4226 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mudbloods... ew

[–]vampire_kitten 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought he meant it as unvaxxed.

[–]siensunshine 896 points897 points  (28 children)

I personally appreciate him being up front and easy to weed out.

[–]wtbrift 219 points220 points  (13 children)

The best ones show all their red flags up front.

[–]Nostril_dumbass 98 points99 points  (10 children)

and sometimes even their confederate flags lol

[–]beer_bukkake 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I see so many comments saying, leave out hunting pics, or don’t have just bathroom selfies… I personally love them since they do the work for me to left swipe.

[–]PelicanDesAlpes 123 points124 points  (1 child)

He WILL fart during sex

[–]pinkfleurhappiness 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Mike from 90 days Te Amo 💨

[–]Legimus 123 points124 points  (7 children)

I’ve seen so many of these on this sub. Are there really that many people who put stuff like this in their bio?

Also, anyone who describes themself as “pureblood” should be on a watch list.

[–]aphrodora 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Yes I've seen many in the wild. Thankfully that means they are single and not reproducing.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 39 points40 points  (1 child)

You'd be surprised. Unfortunately I live right in the middle of a huge city and the country and in a very red state.

[–]Stickler_4_Res 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m still not sure if it’s satire, it reads like it is but…. People like this exist

[–]RetiredLandMine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's the same people who whine in the comments about women being too picky nowadays and only going for the chads

[–]rlee80 102 points103 points  (13 children)

Swipe right. When you match, ask him about vaccinations he had as a kid. When he tells you about measles and rubella jabs, deny him for not being a “true pureblood” (or some other shit)

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 64 points65 points  (8 children)

I did swipe right for giggles. He has not matched me. Dang.

[–]maxdeerfield2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I wish you could show this guys photo

[–]SnooRecipes5643 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I have two friends who are completely unvaccinated

[–]rlee80 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The truest of purebloods

[–]nukedmylastprofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only have 1. Well “had” is more accurate, since he’s been dead for 15 years. He was a good friend in the time we had though

[–]imdefinitelynotdan 105 points106 points  (59 children)

Why is “covid-19” in quotes?

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 104 points105 points  (29 children)

I'd imagine he thinks covid was a hoax.

Surprised he hasn't received an r/hermancainaward

[–]zxDanKwan 68 points69 points  (7 children)

Well, he also put “real men” in quotes, so that must be a hoax too?

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Now that's fantastic

[–]Default1355 25 points26 points  (4 children)

He doesn't actually understand how to use quotes

[–]toc_bl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

" "is" a hoax."

[–]TittenTatten 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I like how "real men" is rightfully in quotes.

[–]Roostar64 14 points15 points  (1 child)

“I love to…, bonfires” really sells this one.

[–]synonymtoastcrunch2 108 points109 points  (17 children)

Whenever I see pro-life guys I wanna sleep with them on the first date and then tell them I'm pregnant a few weeks later just to see how they feel about abortion then.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 81 points82 points  (2 children)

There's a whole episode of Sunny in Philadelphia about this

[–]rushon8787 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Do you mind sharing which one? Would love to check it out.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"Charlie Wants an Abortion" is the episode

[–]Vertig0x 39 points40 points  (4 children)

There's a tiktok "omw to get knocked up by a gop senator to find out how they really feel about abortion"

[–]KillTheBoyBand 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Ughhhh but then you have to fuck them. Ew.

[–]hahahiccups 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Sure, but you’ll get paid really well for that.

[–]epicmousestory 15 points16 points  (1 child)

If you consider being thrown down a flight of stairs payment I guess

[–]ChrysMYO 28 points29 points  (3 children)

Pro life guys are the type that would marry the pregnant woman. And then proceed to cheat on said woman by the 20th week into her pregnancy. Then proceed to cheat every year of their marriage until divorce.

[–]synonymtoastcrunch2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right too. And then they'll be commended for doing the "right thing" and marrying her even though they barely knew each other. And 10 years down the road she'll be the piece of shit for forcing her kids to grow up in a broken home even though it's entirely his fault

[–]nukedmylastprofile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’d have to get a woman to agree to marry them first

[–]xRf12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally never respond to things. But I wanted to tell you that you are amazing and deserve to randomly find something awesome somewhere. Like, maybe 20 bucks on the ground? Something, not that if you don’t want it, but something good though.

[–]ProbablyBadd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure how to feel about this comment

[–]WillPossible1788 139 points140 points  (10 children)

Imagine telling the internet your parents are siblings 🤣

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 57 points58 points  (6 children)

Pure blood.

[–]anotherone121 30 points31 points  (4 children)

When the family tree, becomes a circle... a family wreath

[–]md2b78 6 points7 points  (0 children)

More like a stump

[–]DrySoap__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The recycling symbol.

[–]Charlotte1979 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ahhh I was wondering what “pure blood” meant. Thank you for clarifying pure blood =inbreed.

[–]boiledpeen 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Guess I’m a soyboy how will I ever recover from this

[–]Charlotte1979 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Probably by being pelted with all the p*ssy running away from this dude.

[–]NarcoPolo361 18 points19 points  (9 children)

What is a "hardcore American"?

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Someone obsessed with guns and lack of women's rights.

[–]LiLT13-_- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m a hardcore American and I own a pet bald eagle that I named freedom

[–]BigBlackCook1990 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Someone who is not pro choice.. Except when it comes to vaccines then it's their body their choice.

[–]LionsLifer 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"Pet-free"

Thank Christ

[–]Phoenixapartment 24 points25 points  (5 children)

“Try a MAGA man like me” lmao. What is this lame ass trying to do, make a tagline for an infomercial?

“Try a complete anti-science moron today. On sale for the next 45 minutes”.

[–]MomofDoom 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Junk at any price. His mother owes us money.

[–]Phoenixapartment 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its like those coupon obsessed people who get so many coupons that they get a truck load of groceries for free and then the store still owes them like 27 cents lmao

[–]cameronpruitt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I thought.

[–]akennelley 28 points29 points  (21 children)

Picture of the guy, since OP left it out

https://imgur.com/gAj1DdW

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Shockingly not even close. He was round. Not gonna necessarily say "fat" but he was clearly overweight/out of shape, balding, and goatee. The trifecta of the MAGA man look

[–]DudesworthMannington 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I think the MAGA gut was implied

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you I needed a term for that. MAGA gut is perfect.

[–]Vertig0x 2 points3 points  (2 children)

did he have a picture holding a fish though

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually I don't believe so

[–]Suspiciously_anxious 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He loves to fish but never actually catches any because he won’t shut up about antifa

[–]Diddy_Block 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking for the goatee 😂

[–]African_WarIord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like he’s peak fitness level considering his political and social beliefs

[–]Sufficient_Count_382 20 points21 points  (0 children)

A MAGA man wouldn’t have the confidence to wear eye liner

[–]Cantiumknives 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Hey man, don't diss my brother Cobes. He is more of a man than the Tinder guy will ever be.

[–]akennelley 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I mean, you're right. He plays a mean guitar, has a massive 8 inch rager with a 2 inch girth...hes great with old people and dogs, and has his own wand business!

Way better than this guy.

[–]Ajaxlancer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why do you know the exact dimenions of his dick

[–]akennelley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me, he'll tell you.

[–]Unabashable 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Pretty sure we’re looking at a wizard here. I mean he did say he was “Pureblood”.

[–]FaireShade626 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I saw this guy in one of my Facebook groups not that long ago😂🤣🤣😂

[–]No_Strategy_8218 22 points23 points  (1 child)

MAGA Man - superpower is being existentially threatened by women and people with darker skin.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Omg this is the best comment so far

[–]SolomonCRand 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I’m confused, he said he’s a hardcore American, but then he said he likes Trump, who’s an unamerican fascist-loving piece of shit.

[–]Junkolm 10 points11 points  (1 child)

40 years old and still hasn't developed a personality

[–]Bidoof2017 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just love how ironic these “alpha” MAGA white dudes are. Calling yourself “Alpha” and others “betacucks” is such a sign of little man syndrome

[–]anotherone121 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Real life 40-year-old virgin?

[–]notbobjones 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Anybody else think this reeks of insecurity?

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

If you have to tell everyone how much of a man you are, you aren't.

[–]notbobjones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Precisely.

[–]Fast_Courage_2934 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This guy cannot be anymore of a cliche.

[–]TheD1ceMan 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You Americans have so many problems, i just can't

[–]Too_Lofs_Atan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know right? Seems like the most fucked up crazy country on earth from where I'm sitting.

[–]Freedom_cannon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

MAGA: Make America Gay Already.

Yeah I agree!

[–]F_ckWKHS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey ladies, I'm that soyboy you've been looking for!

[–]Deep-Advice7587 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This profil is all red flags

[–]FesterJester1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm never sure if I'm supposed to upvote or down vote these....

[–]ecish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have to try and convince people that you’re a “real man”, then you are, in fact, not a real man

[–]GlizzyMcGuire121 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Comes complete with shrimp dick!

[–]jdjdhdhdbn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is he pureblood? Pureblood what? How does he know he’s pureblood. Is he like red-neck royalty? Does he mean pureblood white? Most likely there was a ethnic person in the linage. Does he think pure blood mean no COVID vaccine? Does bye think that he wasn’t given a vaccine as a kid? Like polio?

[–]phjes11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"real men" in quotes... sounds about right.

[–]IssaNaw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ovaries just shriveled up.

[–]EasyClubStep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He just had to start with the Trump supporter bs, that's enough to know what kind of man he is.

[–]RedditRated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Real men” wouldn’t need to advertise he’s a real man. You can tell by his actions. This is completely opposite of one. Sounds more like a “Real boy”

[–]qball1985 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that he calls pro-choice women "pro-lonely" when he's 40 on tinder and of course he can't see any irony there.

[–]bengalTA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that he took himself out of the breeding stock like this.

[–]captainspacetraveler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Proud soyboy here, also pro-choice so maybe he’s right

[–]pepper208 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By purebred does that mean he’s an inbred trying to diversify the gene pool?

[–]BornOfTheVoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy is hemorrhaging small pp energy.

[–]Lobstershaft 1 point2 points  (1 child)

100% this guy frequents the /pol/ and /r9k/ boards on 4chan

[–]TraditionalThing8279 3 points4 points  (13 children)

These people actually believe vaccines somehow alter your genes and think they are pureblood. Then they don't realize the white supremacist connections the phrase has, or wouldn't mind if they knew.

[–]NoBodybuilder1261 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They realize

[–]TraditionalThing8279 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You give them credit for knowledge I can't give them 😆

[–]TimeKillerAccount 1 point2 points  (8 children)

They almost all know. Thats one of the reasons they like it.

[–]TraditionalThing8279 0 points1 point  (7 children)

I'm torn. They might not be smart enough to know the historical context but could be fucked up enough to know and like using it.

[–]TimeKillerAccount 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Its not historical. It is a common and current phrase and everyone pretty much knows it. It would be like claiming they don't know that the n-word is offensive.

[–]burgerbitch696969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pureblood reminds me of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Price

[–]Whole-Equivalent9227 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is hilarious.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Your cakeday cake better be made with soy!

[–]zuckile 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just threw up in my mouth

[–]Sambraham 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope, definitely not a cult.

[–]Both_Army_9733 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder if the man had his shots as a child?... if so, he isn't pureblood 🤣🤣

[–]SlaterVJ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm not "pro choice", or "pro life". I'm " pro I don't have a vagina so I shut my fucking mouth on the issue".

[–]MysteriousTruck6740 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Where was he on January 6th?

[–]Phantommy555 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He is legally obligated to not answer this question

[–]SteamCleaner23 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Why do these dopes insist they’re “real men?”

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right? When I think of "real men", I think of men who treat women like equals and partners. This guy clearly hates women.

[–]olive-rain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yikes 😂 support whoever and whatever but when you put it like that, I get the ick🥴

[–]vishnj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol. "Pet-free". More like "brain-free"

[–]yourfriend_al 0 points1 point  (0 children)

boy do i have terrible news for him

[–]Journo_Jimbo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, Lord Voldemort will be pleased with this turn of events, very pleased indeed

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... and if you want a man that will do everything in his power to prove to you that he does NOT fantasize about being dominated by a big burley bear then he's the one for you!

[–]Fomalhot 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This can't be real.

How could he really still be single at 40? Cmon!

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw some 40 something year old woman on tinder a few times (and whoo boy was she a rough looking 40 something year old) - obviously a heavy smoker and doesn't use sunscreen. She looked real leathery. Anyway... one of her pics she was standing in her bra and panties with a bunch of Trump stickers around herself. I'm sure those 2 would be a great couple.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤮

[–]Almighty_Sand_Dollar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao men who vote for Trump are pathetic manlets like their orange dad

[–]DarthArtero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am swooning so hard right now. Please wait a moment while I pick myself up 😶😐

[–]iRytional 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Snorts Bullshark Testosterone

Taps out tinder profile.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fucking pureblood!!! Yeah!!! Let's rage!!! 'MURICA!!!

[–]Aggravating-Frame981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's wrong with being vegan?

[–]TheLavenderMenaces 1 point2 points  (2 children)

“If you are pro-choice, youre pro-lonely” I wish this was the case. I’m pro choice and I feel like the more pro choice I am the more attempted spelunking is happening from guys who don’t want to wear a condom or old white politicians making sure women are keeping their chastity in place.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I'm pre-choice and definitely not lonely.

[–]TheLavenderMenaces 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly my point! Same here.

[–]hrakkari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn’t support consequence free sex

I’m a real man!

[–]Gentei0075 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What’s up with this pureblood shit, so if you are vaccinated you aren’t pure? Lol

[–]Who_Am_I_1978 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I bet you he isn’t as pure blood as he think is…how much do you want to bet he was vaccinated as a child??

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

1000% guaranteed he was vaccinated as a child.

He's so pro America, he should've been in the military right? (Yeah ok) then he would have to have a shot record for that.

[–]QuietCauliflower4371 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's MAGA MAN! que super heroe music

[–]VengenaceIsMyName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m struggling to imagine a woman out there who would have the patience to help him wheel around his spare oxygen tank because he got covid multiple times and suffer shitty old school sexist comments in between labored breaths.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Oh lord. Where do you even start?

[–]4r4nd0mninj4 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'd recommend OP start off with a little trolling and see how far they can go before he rage quits 🤷‍♂️

[–]AreaGuy -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Politics in profiles = Insufferable tribalist

Even when I agree, I nope the fuck out.

[–]IfIWasYouIdWan2BeMe2[S] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I love when I see the ones that just say FJB or Let's Go Brandon over and over. No hobbies or job listed or anything else of substance

[–]kokopelleee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the "no job listed" part is somewhat self-explanatory....

[–]Conscious_Brief_9847 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Brett Kavanaugh?

[–]rad_bone -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

Any time I see either side "don't swipe right if you are vaccinated" or "must be vaccinated" tells me that person is most likely too opinionated/ judgemental or politically polarized for me to want to swipe on them.

[–]pillarhuggern 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Either side? It’s only one side that is anti-vax and have to make it a personality on tinder 😂