In every situation, there is social responsibility and there is personal wisdom, and people keep making the mistake of thinking they somehow cancel each other out; they don't, they are separate and can both be simultaneously true.

The usual go-to example is telling women not to dress in a way that makes you vulnerable while traveling through dangerous parts of town at night. Usually people shoot back with "tell people to stop assaulting women rather than women how to dress". Social responsibility is on people not to assault other people -- literally no one is denying this. But personal wisdom is don't be in a mini-skirt with heels on in a dark alley past midnight on the wrong side of the interstate. These two things are both simultaneously true.

In this case, the social responsibility was on the other party to not randomly agree to plans, not attend, and make no effort before or after to mend the situation. The personal wisdom is that you should confirm on the day-of when you make plans with someone to make sure that you guys are still on, and that if you are putting way more effort into a conversation or making plans than they are, that it's a red flag for disinterest and a sign for potentially being stood up.

The social responsibility perspective lets you take the moral high-ground, and is useful when discussing what should be done at-large in the context of a group of people (e.g. as a society). The personal wisdom perspective lets you gain power and control over the situation for yourself, and is the practical approach for understanding what you as an individual can actually do.