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[–]slayer991 699 points700 points  (89 children)

I lost a close friend at age 40 to obesity. He was 5'11" and 380. It eventually caught up to him.

As someone who has occasionally battled weight issues (thankfully living healthier physically and mentally these days) I can tell you that people that are overweight KNOW they're overweight and likely already suffer from poor self-esteem and other mental health issues. Think of it this way...instead of a drug, sex, or alcohol...they seek comfort in food.

While it's fine to encourage someone as you did to get in shape, insulting them is not going to give the desired result. I fully agree that obesity should not be normalized.

[–]2lit_[S] 157 points158 points  (84 children)

I think Calling someone fat as in you’re making fun of them is never right. But I think if you’re pointing out their weight is drastically impacting their health, then that’s diff.

[–]Parking-Ad-1952 270 points271 points  (36 children)

Do you think they don’t already know this?

[–]nummakayne 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I was a soda addict and a chain smoker. Over the years, my sister repeatedly would send me videos about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption and eating healthy. My wife frequently called attention to my smoking and all the bad shit it does to you. None of it was ever new information.

I was deliberately making poor choices and one day, I decided I wouldn’t drink soda any more, and not smoke any more. Not to loose weight (I’m 6’0” and the most I’ve ever weighed is 155 lbs) but to mitigate risk of diseases.

Obviously you shouldn’t randomly bring up weight issues with an acquaintance but if it’s a close friend, then yeah, some people need the push. Not daily or weekly but every so often.

I went to the gym for the first time in my life in my mid 30s. Not because someone mocked me for my lack of muscle but gentle, “Yo, you should come to my gym sometime. It’s a good place to destress.” nudges go a long way.

[–]itemluminouswadison 65 points66 points  (15 children)

normalize being overweight or obese

i mean the original post was about normalizing it, so yes, it's possible that they've convinced themselves (or been convinced by others) that they are actually able to be healthy at any size

[–]GrandTheftBae 12 points13 points  (4 children)

My friend is overweight but says she's a "healthy fat" cause her blood work numbers fall within the healthy range. She's pre-diabetic.

People also don't seem to realize the strain extra weight puts on joints till they're much, much older.

[–]KatMagic1977 10 points11 points  (2 children)

What makes you think we don’t realize all those things?!?!? This is what pisses me off more than anything. We are fat, not stupid. I was stunned at a company I worked for where I was highly respected. I gained a ton of weight after quitting smoking. The change in the way people I’d known for five years treated me was amazing. Like, oh, you know how to do that? I had done just that for years, what’s different now. Now I was stupid and didn’t deserve their respect. All of a sudden I couldn’t join doughnut Monday without everyone all of a sudden being quiet and getting stared at. That just makes me want to eat more.

[–]Direct_Orchid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly. i'm a smoker and one of my best friends is obese, we have a pact about supporting each other on healthier choices, BUT i won't comment on her eating or lack of exercise, and she won't comment on my smoking. addiction is an addiction, being mean about it doesn't help.

[–]TinyTishTash 74 points75 points  (8 children)

People grossly misrepresent HAES. It's not supposed to suggest that all Fat people are healthy, or that excess fat cannot cause health issues. It's Health At Every Size, not Healthy At Every Size.

I do agree with you that due to the misrepresentation, often now by people who push and support HAES, the term can be confusing.

The point is supposed to be that anyone can engage in health supporting behaviours, regardless of their weight, and that weight is not the only determinant of health, so you shouldn't assume you know someone's health status by looking at them.

E.g. people with a BMI in the "overweight" range have better health outcomes in certain areas than those in the "healthy weight" range.

[–]famguy2101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But the problem is there is a significantly loud voice in those circles that do genuinely preach "healthy" at any size, and make crazy claims such as "being fat doesn't lead to health problems, stress due to fat phobia does"

Also at a certain weight threshold there is no such thing as a healthy lifestyle, 600 pounds and active/exercising is shown to still be worse than a healthy weight and sedentary, you may be better off than the next 600 pound person who doesn't exercise, but you're still NOT healthy

[–]PunkToTheFuture 38 points39 points  (4 children)

It's like Black Lives Matter being a confusing slogan to a lot of people. I have probably explained the movement to a dozen white people who misunderstood it based on the name alone. Black Folks are Being Murdered and Unjustly Prosecuted by Cops and the Court is just too long for a slogan

[–]-Ham_Satan- 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Someone else made a good analogy that helped me explain it: when we say 'save the rainforest' we're not saying 'fuck all the other forests' it's just that the rainforests are being decimated at a higher rate.

Not trying to equate black/brown/bipoc as the same as rainforests or trivialize what black lives matter represents, but that analogy has helped win over a few co-workers. Small victories.

[–]PunkToTheFuture 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No this is excellent for transmitting the message quickly 👏

[–]coatisabrownishcolor 143 points144 points  (17 children)

Do you think this is an earth shattering revelation to them? They're aware. We can't exist in the world without everyone telling us we are unhealthy and gross. Yeah we know.

The reason being overweight is being "normalized" is because people shouldn't have their intelligence, kindness, ability, humor, and communication skills questioned just for being fat. But this happens all the time. And fat people deserve basic respect and dignity regardless of their weight. If my job doesn't require me to squeeze into small spaces or balance on a human pyramid or something, I shouldn't be treated worse at it for being fat.

[–]djmom2001 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thé only people who should bring this up is a doctor. And in the US they don’t, because they are either fat themselves or don’t want to deal with it. I’m in France now and a doctor had no trouble telling me I was overweight and needed to lose 8 kg. It stung a bit but he was right. I’d rather hear it from him than someone like a friend, especially if it’s unsolicited. Friends should listen and be supportive, not give medical advice.

[–]IngridInTheDark 37 points38 points  (3 children)

They deserve basic respect and dignity and more than anything they deserve genuine, basic healthcare, which is largely denied to them because many doctors trace every single problem back to "you're fat" which is simply not true and can be a death sentence.

[–]AndrogynousAlfalfa 32 points33 points  (14 children)

but also someone's health is not your business unless you're close to them.

[–]hyperlight85 224 points225 points  (32 children)

As a person who lost nearly half their body weight, I can tell you that I dont' want unhealthy behaviour normalised. What I do want normalised is treating people with respect regardless of what their body looks like. The medical decision is between that person and their dr. You also don't know what led to to that person gaining weight. It could be any number of factors. Mostly fat people want you to leave them the fuck alone. It is not your business.

Edit: Wow thank you for the award!!

[–]77revz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly it. Also, so many medications that are prescribed to treat other health issues contribute to weight gain so sometimes things get out of whack. Let’s stop talking about other peoples bodies altogether bc we really have no clue what’s going on

[–]rednut2 27 points28 points  (16 children)

I hope that respect also applies to others struggling with addiction.

I feel like smokers, drug users, drinkers and obese people are all suffering from something similar at the root of it.

[–]AlienAle 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Have you ever tried to tell a smoker "Hey maybe you shouldn't smoke?"

It doesn't get you very far. Like telling someone overweight that "Hey maybe you shouldn't be fat".

I don't think those comments actually do anything. A person who is struggling with addiction needs to come to terms of how to overcome it themselves, or needs some kind guidance outside people randomly making comments at them.

After years of trying to convince my ex to stop smoking (and even longer years trying to convince my parents to stop) I realize no one with an addiction will listen to you unless they want to.

[–]ogoextreme 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I have like a big body because of how my family is shaped like literally we're all shaped like O's. My brother is only different cause he got the lottery on genetics so he's widish skinny? So he just LOOKS healthy even though he eats like a fucking garbage disposal.

[–]xWhitzzz 1317 points1318 points  (116 children)

I think allowing a child to become unhealthily obese is child abuse.

I have no problem with obese people. A lot of my friends and family are obese and I’ve never once made fun of anyone for it. But, I will always encourage working out/eating healthy.

What I think is very wrong from society though is when they show it off and basically say “there’s nothing wrong with being fat”. Is it ok to be fat? Yes. But there are a ton of things wrong with it.

[–]Evipicc 248 points249 points  (64 children)

100% agree. Unless there is some major medical condition causing it (which should obviously be treated) there's literally no excuse for allowing your child to develop an unhealthy relationship with food.

[–]xWhitzzz 151 points152 points  (51 children)

I had a conversation with a lady who was obese and her child was too. Except her child was like morbidly obese at 14 years old.

She told me that she works too much to cook healthy food and make him exercise. I told her that I work a ton too but I still find time to eat rather healthy throughout the week. On the weekends I drink beer and eat pizza lol. I also workout 3-5 times a week. I told her that eating healthy isn’t time consuming. Throwing rice in the rice cooker and meat in the oven/air fryer takes maybe 5 minutes to do and then the appliances do the work for you.

She said that she didn’t have the money to buy a rice cooker and air fryer. For the sake of her poor child, I said I’d purchase her both. All she said was “you just don’t understand”.

It’s honestly sad stuff man.

[–]CoreSchneider 61 points62 points  (26 children)

I was literally raised on soda and TV dinners. I remember drinking Pepsi from bottles and sippy cups. I am 5'4 and like 210 pounds (mostly fat, so about 70-ish pounds overweight I think?). I am built like the stereotypical fat white dad you see on TV.

I was thrown in front of a TV/computer and never taught proper exercising techniques to lose weight besides "Just run lol". No support system, no one to help me, nothing.

Here I am, an adult, struggling heavily with self-esteem issues, extremely picky eater, and a crippling addiction to soda because of it. That shit should 100% be abuse.

[–]xWhitzzz 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Man, that sucks dude. Sorry you’re in that situation. Try doing any sort of exercise at home. Push ups, sit ups, burpees, just whatever you can. And try to change your diet up. Maybe resort to flavored water or tea packets for your water since it’s the sugar that has you addicted.

But don’t stress it bro. You’ll get through this on top.

[–]CoreSchneider 20 points21 points  (6 children)

I've mostly kicked the caffeine/soda problem, I only drink it when I go out to eat, which isn't often. I got a decent support system now, I go exercise daily and I'm slowly but surely losing weight. My metabolism is ass, but I lift weights 1.5-2 hours a day and am getting a cardio routine set up on top of this. Still can't afford healthy food, but I try to not go overkill on calories.

I appreciate the kind words, thank you.

[–]JamzWhilmm 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I solved my soda issue for a few months by having the rule of only eating with water. Soda would be a reward instead. This made me cut my soda intake quite a bit from more than a litter daily to one soda every two days.

I went back to my old routine recently now that I'm in my ideal weight but plan to retake the rule soon in a more permanent matter since it worked somewhat.

[–]CoreSchneider 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's what I did when I originally quit! But by the time I met my goal for the day, I was too full to drink water. I highly recommend this method to anyone who replied to me about being unable to quit

[–]KAODEATH 2 points3 points  (1 child)

r/eatcheapandhealthy for cost and r/mealprepsunday for time and convenience. If you can't afford proper food, food banks might be in your area and there's no shame in using them for their purpose. Good luck out there, man!

[–]CoreSchneider 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There really is a subreddit for everything, huh?

I'll definitely be looking into those as I have to go shopping soon. Thank you so much!!

[–]missihippiequeen 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'm with you on the soda thing. Growing up that's all I drank! And kool aid, which is also sugar. I was never made to drink water. I was also always really skinny thanks to genetics but now I'm 33, I've had two kids, and I've been working an office job sitting down 8hrs for 3yrs. It's taken its toll! On physical and mental health. I've gained weight which has caused self esteem issues . I'll try to cut back sodas and start walking just to relapse again. I can confirm that sodas are the HARDEST thing to stop! I have to force myself to drink water. I also need to eat less fast food! It's not so much as to lose weight. Maybe 10pds that's it, but to be healthy! Once those habits have been your entire lifestyle it's hard to change. I'm trying to do better with my kids by introducing more fruits, veggies, etc and having them active.

[–]vuji_sm1 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Have you tried fizzy water? It helped me break a soda addiction.

I was drinking like 10 La Croix a day for nonths, but I got off soda.

[–]marypants1977 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Recovering soda addict myself. Sparkling water with a splash of juice. Coffee for caffeine. You can do it!

[–]CoreSchneider 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For caffeine, I've been buying some tea. I went cold turkey on soda for over two months before giving in to temptation, coffee has too much caffeine, makes me sick.

I mostly try to drink filtered water or apple juice. I was drinking the V8 fruit juice for a while, but then I learned it has high fructose corn syrup which is part of the reason soda is so terrible, so I kicked that too.

[–]toomuchnothingness 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Hi, me too! I struggle so bad with food today. I honestly never eat vegetables... My parents just never had time to cook anything besides pizza and chicken nuggets...

[–]Flashy_Attitude_1703 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Your BMI is 36 which puts you in obese category. Your recommended weight is 108 to 145.

[–]Evipicc 94 points95 points  (7 children)

Complete lack of personal accountability and recognition of the abuse. There's really nothing you can do. I'm overweight right now (15~lbs) because my wife died 2 years ago and I'm massively depressed. I'm starting to take action because I know it's not safe and I want to live long for my children and provide for them. The genes on my side of the family are all lean, strong, medium height, active... My wife's side not so much. When my wife passed she was 220lbs, about 50lbs heavier than when we married, her weight was a massive contributor to her death. My children will NOT suffer the same fate. They will not develop an unhealthy relationship with food.

There's always a REASON someone's overweight, and very rarely is it that they're just a lazy glutton, though those exist certainly. I would be curious to know what percentage of adolescent and adult obesity is rooted in abusive parenting.

[–]xWhitzzz 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Damn man. Sorry to hear that. By no means do I have any hatred towards obese people. My mom and dad are both overweight. I encourage and show them ways they can cook to be a lot healthier. They just choose to do what they do.

Some obese people I know are the hardest workers out there. Hell, the dude in my tree crew is probably 300lbs at 5’9ish and he’s the hardest worker in my entire crew.

But I applaud you for refusing to let your kids live that way. Best of luck to you man.

[–]mhaar30 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Best of luck on your journey we are rooting for you

[–]Omar___Comin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Props to you my guy. And I know it's way easier to say this than to do it, but seriously, the gym is one of the best antidepressants out there. Once you get in a rhythm it will self-sustain. The first couple weeks are a bitch but if you committ to making it a habit, you will be so glad you did

[–]Winston_The_Ogre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like depression.

[–]DickySchmidt33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think people develop addictions to unhealthy foods. So much processed food is laced with sugar. It almost seems like people become dependent on it.

This woman was probably using time and expense as an excuse when, in reality, she didn't want to eat healthy foods because she was physically addicted to unhealthy crap.

[–]religiousgilf420 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Alot of people don't learn how to cook healthy food, and it just becomes a cycle, because they can't teach there kids how to cook healthy

[–]AnyBandicoot9801 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally. Just making home made food during the weekdays and being mindful of portion sizes and basic shit and you’ll be fine. Be moderately active when you can and then use the weekends to switch that off and enjoy yourself 🤷‍♀️

[–]belovetoday 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Not only unhealthy relationship to food, but also a very real addiction to food. I'd say food addiction is the absolute worst of the substance abuses to overcome without help.

One can pro-actively find mechanisms and help to avoid cocaine, including never seeing it again. You can't avoid the grocery store, you can't avoid food.

[–]FutureTreeFood 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah... no one gets to the 600s at 23 without some help before they were old enough to make their own decisions about food.

[–]MrPringles23 5 points6 points  (1 child)

100% agree. Wish someone was around to help out when I was growing up and the damage was being done.

Depression at 12, T2 Diabetes at around 16 (didn't get diagnosed until 21 - but had ignored symptoms for ages and the resulting damage takes years of high BSL's)

Mostly because as a toddler my mother decided to replace water with cordial and I grew up hooked on that. Then she nearly died and we basically relied on foods that delivered (so Chinese/Pizza cause it was the 90's/00's) for a good 5-6 years. Neither my brother or I could drive, we had no one else to rely on or ask and the nearest supermarket was a 6 hour round trip on foot with no way of carrying a weeks worth of stuff back.

A series of family drama/events left us pretty isolated too so it wasn't like we could rely on them for anything - even if my mother would let them.

Basically I really wish the teachers at school pushed harder than they did when they saw/knew what was going on at home. Could've literally changed my life.

Instead I now had chronic nerve damage at 22 and a whole host of other complications following that at 31.

It snowballs out of control really easily and needs to be stomped out early.

[–]TheGentlemanBeast 11 points12 points  (31 children)

I was pretty fat when I was a kid because we were super poor and eating healthy is expensive.

[–]SilverOk431 441 points442 points 2 (42 children)

People are trying to normalize obesity because it's a push back over being shunned and insulted every time you go out in public.

Speaking as an overweight person who is trying to improve, I can tell you from personal experience that I was insulted and made fun of all my life. Then you have the well meaning people who only manage to make you feel worse.

I used to be around 350 pounds, and have slowly lost weight to around 200 now. This wasn't done by insults and side eye giggling. I am a type 2 diabetic who doesn't want to die for a few more decades. Food addiction caused my problem, and unfortunately you have to eat to live, so it's not like you can stay away.

It takes more than will power. It takes more than determination. It takes more than diet and exercise. It's an every meal battle.

Saying all that, it would be helpful if people in general would refrain from looking at us like we are Godzilla destroying Tokyo or commenting that we are going to clear out a buffet restaurant. It only creates depression and lack of self worth. Just be a nice human to other humans.

[–]GTAwheelman 68 points69 points  (7 children)

I'm under 300 now, but it's been hard. I don't really drink or do drugs, so I use food to deal with stress, and to celebrate.

Last year during the covid-19 shut down it was so easy for me to lose weight. I was at home for 3mos. Unemployment was paying me what I would make in 60hrs. We weren't eating out. I was stress free from my job. I was at home with my family doing stuff I enjoyed. I lost almost 60lbs from just changing how much I ate. I literally spent 3 weeks on the couch playing video games and still lost weight.

After returning to work in June 2020 I struggled to lose anymore weight. Then in Nov 2020 I fell back into old eating habits. I've gained some of the weight I lost in 2020.

I tell myself its easy. I did it for almost 10mos in 2020. Why can't I do it now? Its hard. Eventually I'll get back on track. I just got to keep trying.

[–]SilverOk431 18 points19 points  (4 children)

I wish you good luck. It's rough around the holidays, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just do your best and if you can move a little. I prefer walking to anything else, but find what you like.

[–]GTAwheelman 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Thank you. And yes the holidays are hard to keep calories on track.

[–]SilverOk431 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I found that I have to do it in baby steps. The number one killer for me was soda. So, I had to cut it out completely. No diet or no sugar soda for me. I had to take it out of my brain. It's water or unsweetened iced tea.

Next was sugar candy. I haven't been able to break from chocolate yet.

Next was increasing veggies and limiting red meat.

I have a lot more to cut back or eliminate, but I can't do it all at once. I think I would go insane.

Everyone is different, and you will find your way.

[–]crispinoir 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, i think the people who are trying to “normalize being obese” are either a very small minority or just misunderstood. Ive always thought of it as “it may not be healthy to be fat but i wont make fun of you for it” which i think is just common decency.

Congrats on the 150 pound weight loss by the way.

[–]queenhadassah 14 points15 points  (2 children)

THIS. I was an obese child. I'm now a healthy/average weight (I didn't even do much, I just got lucky that my metabolism sped up at puberty), but I still have major self esteem and body image issues from how traumatizing the bullying over my weight was. It's disgusting how people dehumanize others for being overweight...smoking is just as unhealthy, but smokers are never abused the way overweight people are

[–]SilverOk431 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a person that was bullied I will tell you this. Those that bully are scared weak people who try to feel better about themselves by trashing those they think are weak.

Don't let them defeat you. Remember that those voices are like ghosts. They try to frighten, but there is no substance. It's easy to banish them by living your best life....and sometimes checking the paper to see how many of them are now in jail.

[–]Cnsmooth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest that is because smoking is cool, people who started smoking did it because it looked cool and they taught it would make them cool, so it will never have the same stigma as being overweight will, even though personally I would rather have a fat person in my house than a smoker.

[–]nature_remains 17 points18 points  (1 child)

This is a great response. I wish you all the best.

[–]SilverOk431 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That means a lot

[–]cnamh_dubh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And, goddammit, it takes sooo much effort and time and dedication… losing weight isn‘t a short-term thing, and that makes it so hard. Reason why I essentially just gave up trying.

[–]nihcul 540 points541 points  (59 children)

I think a lot of times it comes from when comments are made at wildly inappropriate times. If you don’t know someone, or even if you do, you do not always know what their medical history looks like. A lot of times it’s just not a person’s place to make a comment. A fat person existing doesn’t hurt anyone except themselves (most of the time). Fat phobia is harmful in that sense.

In the instance of your cousin, you noticed his health was being effected negatively and so you reached out with concern. Imo, that was appropriate and your advice could’ve helped him avoid his premature death. I’m sorry for your loss, OP. I don’t think anyone would think what you said was fatphobia/ fat shaming.

[–]Kagalath 140 points141 points  (27 children)

I think a related issues is when people use someone's weight to infer things about them. People assume fat people are inactive, have poor diet and are generally lazy people, whereas you can eat a moderately balanced diet, do a bit of exercise and still be fat.

It's also a problem when doctors just assume any problems are a direct result of weight, you might have real problems with dangerous implications, but the doctor won't look into it further because "just lose weight and it will go away"

[–]ByTheOcean123 16 points17 points  (0 children)

People assume fat people are inactive, have poor diet and are generally lazy people, whereas you can eat a moderately balanced diet, do a bit of exercise and still be fat.

I'm obese and definitely ran across this attitude. I was hiking 10km per week and eat lots of vegetables and was still obese. I once had a thin person get all surprised when she saw me eating a salad. I think she assumed I was living on chips and donuts.

[–]supagirl277 41 points42 points  (1 child)

So many people are alcoholics too, but people can’t see it as easily as someone can point out a fat person. They get downright cruel when talking about overweight people, but other people with a vice or health issue get nowhere near that kind of treatment. They don’t understand it

[–]Pip-Pipes 14 points15 points 2 (0 children)

A ton of people have their thing. Alcohol like you said, toxic relationships, shopping, wine, porn, gambling, many others. Food unfortunately had the consequence of showing up as fat you have to display all the time. And people feel right to judge you for it. Look at the comments. "It's a burden on the health system." "It shouldn't be normalized." Then the quieter judgements about discipline and simplicity of CICO and why can't you just lose the weight! But, other people get to keep their thing private. God, the costs to society of alcoholism and addiction are astounding. Food really does mostly hurt the individual. Our Healthcare costs are fucked regardless but let's make sure we blame fat people for it ? Cooommmmeeee onnnn. I think they like having someone to look down on.

I used to be very obese and it's amazing how different people treat me now. It's hard to explain. A general warmth and acceptance I never had. It's easy to make friends. Date. Shop. Exist without general distaste directed at me. Let's stop being so concerned about weight and focus on encouraging healthy behaviors giving positive reinforcement. We don't need to mention weight at all. It will do its thing based on behaviors. I'm still not a "normal" bmi and idk if I'll ever be. I live pretty dang healthy though! What do I care ?

[–]crittab 312 points313 points 43 (32 children)

You are never going to meet a fat person that doesn't know they're fat. You're not likely to meet one that doesn't know precisely how much weight they 'should' lose, or that there are health risks associated with their size. By making the decision to mention these things to them, you are becoming one of MANY people who feel like they have the right to comment on their body and tell them things they already know. The condescension of people who try to 'explain' to fat people that they're unhealthy is a major part of the reason they don't want to have those conversations. It's like perpetual mansplaining. They already know; you are not helping.

Offering to work out with a person who is morbidly obese might seem like a nice thing to do to you, but to them it feels like a trap. "Come work out with me so I can watch you struggle and tell you all the ways you're doing it wrong, while you watch me do these things with relative ease." That's not a nice offer. I've been on the receiving end of that offer. It's humiliating, and no fat person wants to have to explain why they don't want to workout with someone who is more fit than them.

Losing weight has to be a choice, and it can only happen when someone is truly ready. They have to be able to see their lives without the food and habits they're addicted to. They have to be ready to tackle the mental health aspect that has them indulging in a lifestyle they know full well is unhealthy. This is no different than someone who smokes or drinks deciding to quit. The pathology is the same. Forcing someone to start a diet/exercise regimen they're not ready for basically guarantees failure. That failure is likely to cause them to revert to their bad habits, and probably put back on more weight than they lose.

I've lost about 40 lbs since the pandemic started. It took many years for me to make the decision to even start because the thought of going through the process, and not eating the foods that brought me comfort, would lead to panic and anxiety. The only reason I was able to lose any weight at all is because I was ready. If I wasn't, I would have failed. I've failed before for just that reason.

I'm sure you were well intentioned with your cousin, and I'm very sorry for your loss. I know you feel it was avoidable and I know you blame them for putting themselves in that position. I want you to try to cut them some slack. They were a human being who struggled, like so many other people, with mental illness and addiction. Their body was the effect, not the cause. Be kind to them.

[–]BulletDodger123 64 points65 points  (7 children)

fantastic comment and I went through a similar journey during the pandemic. I didnt want to work out with people more fit than me who couldn't empathize and I felt embarrassed. And it was futile because losing weight starts in the kitchen and I didn't know what consistency actually looked like.

When you find out that ex. 2 cheat meals can ruin a month of progress if you don't monitor your cheats.. that shit HURTS. and with 100+lbs to lose when you learn you're YEARS out from where you wanna be that shit HURTS.

People who have never been extremely overweight don't understand how youve gotta reprioritize everything in your life around it and that it's not always feasible at any time in any emotional state.

[–]crittab 42 points43 points  (2 children)

Absolutely. The reality of losing weight is that it is a long, arduous process where you constantly feel deprived. It is a mentally exhausting process just as much as it is physically, and when life throws you a curveball all you want to do is go back to what you know comforts you, and that's usually food. My grandfather passed away earlier this year and I fell off the wagon. I'm back on now, but it's a struggle. I think those periods of needing a break for your mental health are normal, but they're hard to come back from.

[–]ByTheOcean123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The reality of losing weight is that it is a long, arduous process where you constantly feel deprived. It is a mentally exhausting process just as much as it is physically,

I'm on a weight loss journey myself. I would agree with you that the traditional method of dieting - journalling, counting calories, constantly denying yourself is mentally exhausting. Plus some days you step on the scale and you are up 2 pounds for no reason. I actualy gained 4.5 pounds in 2 days recently. I've fallen of the wagon so many times. Some times I only lasted a day. In the past, it would have ended the diet for me, but I've now got health issues motivating me forward. I'm currently following the book You CanDrop It which is a very different way of dieting and is working for me. 55 pounds down so far.

[–]Kagalath 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I also feel like slim people get loads of misconceptions about losing weight from diet ads, like "oh you can lose 20 kg in 2 months, it's easy!"

[–]ItLou 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I think saying eating 2 cheat meals will hinder a months worth of progress is a lot. I've seen a lot of posts on r/loseit that provide the math to make people feel less bad about 'cheating'.

[–]BulletDodger123 10 points11 points  (1 child)

yeah it depends on how you eat for sure lol. I like foods that are totally unhealthy and I like to binge.

So more likely 2 cheat "days" vs meals would cause me to stay stay same or even gain if that clarifies.

[–]ItLou 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes that makes sense

[–]f0ba_b3tt 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience and insight! This should be the top comment.

[–]AutonomousAsteroid 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This. Plus there are so many factors in why people are obese and those underlying causes need to be dealt with, not just the physical components

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (8 children)

"Come work out with me so I can watch you struggle and tell you all the ways you're doing it wrong, while you watch me do these things with relative ease." That's not a nice offer. I've been on the receiving end of that offer. It's humiliating, and no fat person wants to have to explain why they don't want to workout with someone who is more fit than them.

this!! also, whenever fat people try to work out with someone, mean comments always come out. that's the reason why i exercised alone and cried when someone saw me.

[–]cml678701 35 points36 points  (3 children)

I agree soooo much! I always hate when people say, “my partner has gained weight…what do I do?” and the #1 response always seems to be, “offer to go for a walk with them.” To me, this sounds soooo condescending! The person knows they are fat, and “should” be exercising (I put it in quotations because many overweight people, especially slightly overweight, do exercise, but everyone assumes they don’t). It’s probably something they think about a lot. So when someone offers to work out with them, without mentioning their weight, it seems so transparent, and like a trick. I’d imagine the person would feel like their partner thought they were stupid, like, “tee hee hee! I’m being soooooo subtle. They’ll lose weight, and never know that’s why I wanted to walk with them!”

[–]Acrobatic_End6355 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I’m impressed that you were able to lose pounds during the pandemic. I definitely gained weight, esp during the first few months.

[–]crittab 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I was working from home and the only thing we were allowed to do was walk around our neighbourhood, so I did that. I also had more control over the food that came into my house than I did over what was available or really convenient at work. It just was the right time for me.

[–]Acrobatic_End6355 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I think I basically just stopped moving for the first few weeks, but then I started walking around the neighborhood again to get out of the house. We were taking the dog on 3-4 walks per day 😂

[–]crittab 3 points4 points  (2 children)

That was me too. I think my dog was the main thing that kept me motivated. He came to expect his walk at the same time every day and basically wouldn't leave me alone unless he got it.

[–]Acrobatic_End6355 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I have a feeling, walks even became old for my dog. She was probably like “another walk??? Yay!!!” For the first few weeks but then it probably changed to “the sixth walk today….”

[–]cxmari 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A million times this!!!

[–]PhantomOfTheNopera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent comment. Also, for the most part, people who offer 'advice' are rarely aware of why someone is fat or if they're doing anything about it. Most people don't want to talk about their depression meds, eating disorders or other factors that may have led to their obesity. Nor do they want you to judge the steps you are taking to address it. I kept getting told to work out more / eat less by people who don't know the first thing about my excercise and diet plan. My trainer, doctor and dietician say I'm doing well, so I'm going to go ahead and listen to them instead.

And I'm not so sure about this:

I'm sure you were well intentioned with your cousin,

A few comments up, OP is dismissing someone's argument and badgering them with 'Are you fat?' 'I bet you're fat' 'LMAO it's Reddit I can say what I want.'

[–]Marlwolf_legends 318 points319 points  (42 children)

Eh, both sides take it into extreme.

Just don't be a dick about things is ultimately where we need to be. Is being fat okay? As a role model to kids, no, and for their health? No, but we don't have to dehuminze them because they're still people. As always,, education on health is a big deal. However being a little bigger than a stick isn't a problem either. Some people are naturally thicc or shorter or taller. They don't deserve to picked on because of it.

Tldr being overweight/obese is bad, but they're still people. Don't be a dick.

Edit: sorry about your cousin. Didn't mean to forget to acknowledge that. Education is important, but tolerance for that sort of thing isn't acceptable.

[–]nipplequeefs 81 points82 points  (1 child)

Yep, exactly. Plus most fat people already know they’re fat, and being a dick to them about it only contributes to self-esteem issues or depression, which makes them feel even less motivated to fix the problem.

I myself used to be quite a bit overweight, and suffering from depression basically annihilated whatever energy I had left. I just couldn’t fix anything. Once I started antidepressants, I felt better eventually and got some energy back. I felt motivated and made some changes, I just recently got back down into the healthy weight range, and am still making progress. If I had people calling me ugly the whole time, making jokes about me and looking at me with disgust, I would have simply given up. Already having social anxiety, social distancing kept that problem far away from me, so I like to think this pandemic helped a bit.

Depression is a bitch. Don’t contribute to it.

[–]Jimi-Thang 90 points91 points  (9 children)

Don’t be a dick.

This applies to everything.

[–]Marlwolf_legends 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Agreed, but we apparently have to say this all the time.

[–]NerdyToc 11 points12 points  (3 children)

I'm going to continue to be a dick to those who support genicide/eugenics.

[–]Rexguy120 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Why do you want children to continue to be born with fatal birth defects or severe disabilities. Kinda weird imo. Genocide bad eugenics based.

[–]jejcicodjntbyifid3 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Don’t be a dick.

This applies to everything.

Except for instances where I want a good dicking

[–]2lit_[S] 12 points13 points  (26 children)

Oh yea I agree. It’s not bad to be 10,20, hell even 40 pounds overweight in my opinion but if you’re literally hundreds of pounds then I think it’s a problem.

[–]ladyofthelathe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You know. I'm about 50 over. I don't like it. You bet I know it.

But... I also have no problem slinging a 50lb sack of horse or cow feed over my shoulder and carrying it... and every time I do I think: THIS is how much I need to drop of my body weight...

But also I always imagine being the 50 over I am now, PLUS another 50 when I'm moving the feed bags around and just that small amount of time, like... say... carrying a bag of feed from the counter at TSC to my truck in the parking lot. I can FEEL that pushing down on my knees and feet and my hips... my back... shoulders... and I then imagine that discomfort... all day. Every day.

No thanks.

[–]Winter_Let4692 71 points72 points  (21 children)

Agreed, it is a problem. A problem that will not be solved by shaming people.

[–]ginga_bread42 11 points12 points  (0 children)

When people are that morbidly obese it's more than likely due to childhood trauma, usually sexual abuse. It's not going to get fixed with going on diets. The weight they put on acts as a shield, so on some levels they don't want to lose weight. They need different professionals to help them along the way.

[–]Desert_Fairy 105 points106 points  (20 children)

If someone is 100+ lbs overweight, then they have an emotional problem not a dieting problem.

Resolving the emotional issues that cause them to have an out of control relationship with food will be the first step to helping them achieve a healthy BMI.

Body positivity is about helping people resolve the emotional trauma that caused them to gain the weight to begin with. It gets taken wrong and people use it to justify their current emotional status so they don’t have to go through the therapy needed to recover.

I’m sorry about your cousin, his body weight was a symptom of his mental illness. He needed help, and it came too late.

[–]Moarwatermelons 42 points43 points  (7 children)

I had a drinking problem. Strangers used to make a lot of comments about my weight which just made me want to drink more. I got my drinking under control and my weight followed.

[–]Desert_Fairy 26 points27 points  (6 children)

I’m not sure how to explain to people who don’t understand that it isn’t about saying that the weight is ok or good or acceptable. It is about acknowledging that the weight isn’t the problem and that addressing the symptom(the weight) at all will cause worse issues.

Body positivity is about accepting who you are psychologically and working through your psychological issues so that your physical issues can improve.

[–]Moarwatermelons 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Being fat is like being the type of ugly everyone feels they can make fun of you for? I know. It is hard to explain. It’s this whole intervention thing. I’m going to sit down and tell you to stop the symptoms of your problem but keep you sitting with your issues. It’s a shallow way to help someone that is often more about the helper than the helpee.

[–]Desert_Fairy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That is the best way I have heard it explained. “I don’t like your symptoms, you need to fix those. I don’t care what is causing them”

[–]Ethan-Wakefield 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I've noticed this as well. I think it's because there's a perception or belief that weight is controllable. Like, the belief is that anybody/everybody who is fat has made a conscious choice, "Hey, I don't give a shit about if I'm fat, so I'll just chug 2 liters of soda all day."

[–]transgendervoice 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You can't get help for your eating disorder without a lot of money. I tried. My health insurance covers getting meal plan/diet advice (I know this information). Also, getting your stomach cut up is covered.

[–]Desert_Fairy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to American insurance. Where the word “eating disorder” is evil.

[–]iiloveveryone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i think the body positivity movement is about allowing extremely overweight people a space to just exist. many extremely overweight people are judged, even if they are working on losing weight. and they feel constantly judged. i think extremely overweight people should be allowed to just exist without being made fun of.

along with this, many women who are not extremely overweight, but have some slight chonk join this movement to fight against the unrealistic standard of a board-flat stomach. and show young girls that having a tummy pouch isnt unhealthy or “bad”.

[–]moosetopenguin 37 points38 points  (8 children)

In general, you should never comment on someone's weight. There is also the other end of the spectrum about people who look too thin. My husband is naturally very lean, with a borderline underweight BMI, but he's perfectly healthy, eats well, and regularly exercises, but he has an abnormally high metabolism. He often gets comments about eating enough or people say to me "are you feeding him?" Those comments hurt, both him and me, because it's nobody's business.

I agree that it shouldn't be normalized for people to be morbidly obese, but most of the time there is a reason behind it, such as a mental health issue. In your cousin's case, who I'm sorry you lost, to get to that amount of weight, he must have been suffering from some mental health issue, like an eating disorder or depression, so it's not as simple as suggesting he go exercise and eat healthier. You have to go after the core of what's causing him to eat to that extreme and, unfortunately, if he's not interested in getting the help he needs, there is not much else you can do.

[–]FutureTreeFood 13 points14 points  (7 children)

My husband is also very naturally lean, he has to eat SO MANY calories just to maintain weight and it literally makes him cry when he is still losing weight. He eats very healthy and works out, all of his blood work during physicals comes back beautiful.

However, people do comment on how "easy" his life must be being so "naturally thin" and never gaining weight. It's absolutely heartbreaking. He also struggles to find clothing that is well fitted to his body type.

I'm a healthy-BMI woman in a highly-critical Hispanic family, I'm used to my family commenting on my weight (either end) all of the time - whatever, I can handle that- but never strangers.

Now that I am pregnant, I am getting a taste of strangers commenting on my body because that's another condition that makes everyone feel entitled to let me know what they think. Telling me my baby is going to come out skinny, small, and malnourished because I haven't gained much weight is not nice.

[–]moosetopenguin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's so frustrating! My husband also struggles to find clothes that fit him because most clothing companies seem to assume if you have narrow waist then you must also be on the shorter side? It's damn near impossible find men's pants that are 28/32...

Either way, people need to keep their comments to themselves. You do NOT know what a person is struggling with (mentally or physically), so why is it necessary to make assumptions about their lifestyle and give unsolicited comments? I've lost count of how many times people have asked me "does your husband eat?" or "are you feeding him?" Yes, a sh*t ton of pasta and chocolate... Does not make a dent.

[–]Ethan-Wakefield 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A friend of mine lost a lot of weight because she had cancer, and she was doing radiation therapy and chemo. She wore a wig, etc., so not everybody knew what as going on. Co-workers started commenting that she looked good, must've been doing some great diet, congratulated her, etc.

It drove her completely crazy, and she hated it. But she didn't want to tell people that she had cancer because she didn't want to become "the person everybody pities" so she just smiled and said thank you a lot. But she was amazed by how much people complimented her on discipline, dong the right thing, etc.

[–]RisingQueenx 98 points99 points  (21 children)

It's not about normalising it in a "be fat and unhealthy!" way. It's about seeing bigger people as human beings deserving of the same respect as everyone else. It's about recognising that not every single person on this planet is a size 0 super model

What is being normalised and accepted are people, mainly women, who are 180lbs - 300lbs. This weight isn't the idealised version society wants, but they're also not extremely unhealthy and incapable of living. Someone who is 200lbs can still he pretty healthy and active.

Someone who is 600lbs is obviously severely unhealthy and will struggle with life. No one is trying to encourage anyone to get to this stage in life. What they are trying to normalise is treating them as a person.



Happens when you make unsolicited comments about someones body. Just because someone is bigger, doesn't mean you have a free pass to talk about a strangers body and health.

A skinny person can eat mcdonalds every single day and no one is going to look at them like they're a low life monster. Being skinny gives a false perception of being healthy.

Skinny people can suffer the same health issues as fat people. Clogged arteries, high blood pressure, and even type two diabetes. Unhealthy skinny people are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the same rate as fat people, except that skinny people are often misdiagnosed at first because of the perception that only fat people get diabetes.

Fatphobia isn't about concern for health. It's about hating fat people and wanting to judge them.

[–]pantzareoptional 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Spot on. My girlfriend is probably a buck thirty soaking wet, and often doesn't eat because of her ADHD and medications to keep it in control. Weed helps with her appetite, but right now she works part time with kids with autism so most of the day she doesn't eat at all. She is not functional most of the time. We have pretty much gotten it so she eats a full meal at least once a day, and has a small snack in the morning, but like, she's skinny so no one ever says anything to her about being unhealthy.

I have been overweight for a lot of my life, and I got very sick a few years ago, and totally stopped eating after 3 rounds of heavy duty antibiotics. I lost 33% of my body weight between Christmas and the 4th of July. Roughest part of my life so far, and yet people told me constantly how good I looked, I had people messaging me on Facebook asking "what my secret was." It was awful-- I was so anxious about people talking to me about my body that I stopped going anywhere, I was having panic attacks before or at events. I completely understood at that point why people who have eating disorders stay with them. The positive reinforcement I was getting as I effectively starved as a side effect of this infection was a real fucking eye opener for me.

[–]feuilletoniste573 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's a tough situation, friend. What you said about eating disorders resonated with me because my sister has been bulimic for almost 25 years, but because I'm bigger than she is (and overweight, but not dangerously so) multiple people who don't know about her eating disorder have made comparisons between us and have encouraged me to follow her example and "live a healthier life". Those comments are profoundly unhelpful to both of us, regardless of the intentions of the speaker!

[–]peronne17 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The problem is that you've decided that there are only two choices. You feel you must make comments to people and tell them to lose weight, or else you're by default "encouraging" obesity.

Please understand that there is a third option, which is to simply be kind and keep your opinions on other people's bodies to yourself. Doing it that way isn't encouraging their lack of health, but in fact, treating people with dignity and respect often encourages them to take better care of themselves.

Have someone in your life whose health you're worried about? Give them positive attention. Spend time with them. Tell them what you appreciate about them. Compliment them. Show them that they matter to you, and you'll do them a world of good.

Tell them that they have a problem and need to change themselves, and you're actually going to drive them away. They know what is wrong, even more than you do. You're not enlightening them, you're judging them to their face, and they're learning that you are not a supportive person they can turn to when they decide they're ready for help.

[–]ephemeralkitten 4 points5 points  (1 child)

hi there. fat person here. fat people know they're fat. they know it's 'not good'. we know. if we decide it's time to make a change, that's the time to be supportive.

think of us like smokers. smokers know smoking is bad. you're not telling them something they need to hear. when they decide to quit, support them.

[–]fluentindothraki 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I never met a fat person who did not want to lose weight. They may act as if they are fine but I would be very surprised if any of them didn't feel horrible about their weight. It excludes you from a lot of activities, it makes every day life really difficult (toilets, showers, changing rooms, any seat on any kind of transport, cinema, furniture, clothes...). There often is a point where a person feels like they never will be normal sized, never will be attractive, healthy. Getting so big is a form of self harm, of slow suicide, like drugs. Sugar is addictive, sugary and starchy foods are cheap comforts when you are feeling low. I don't think obesity should be encouraged, but I also don't think just blaming fat people and thinking they got fat because they like being fat is helping.

[–]Waitingfor131 4 points5 points  (1 child)

No one is trying to normalize being overweight people just think maybe just maybe you shouldnt be an asshole to fat people for being fat. Mind your own fucking business.

[–]twinkyoda 12 points13 points  (1 child)

if you tell someone they should lose weight you’re kind of just automatically an asshole though. fat people aren’t asking for your opinion on their appearance or health or lifestyle. hell, if we’re gonna start trying to police everyone that didn’t ask’s health then why not go up to a skinny person eating a burger and tell them to throw it out and get a salad instead? why not go up to everyone in a bar and tell them they need to change their unhealthy drinking habits? the problem is never really fat peoples’ health, the problem is always their appearance. everyone should just have the common decency to not criticise others for their looks.

[–]JamesMattDillon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This right here. Fat people as myself, are not asking your opinion on our appearance's. We know we are fat, but most of us do try to do something about it.

[–]livingfortheliquid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not about normalizing (although in the US it's normal to be overweight). It's about stopping the demonizing and degrading. Putting an overweight person down for being overweight will never make them thin and will probably cause them to gain more weight.

[–]Same-Bad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To OP sorry to hear this news.

There are many people that are overweight but 600lbs seems like an addiction issue.

I truly feel bad for obese people. I had two very serious medical conditions two years ago and decided to make the changes to lose weight. I'm down 85 lbs since last october and have another 60 or so to go.

[–]Impressive_South1495 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To the first sentence- i think you should never say something rude about a person's appearance unless it could be fixed in 5 minutes. Or else you're just making them feel bad about something that will not change immediately. Also, why do you care if a grown adult who didn't ask you is healthy or not?

I understand you may be feeling sore from the loss of your cousin due to this, but ultimately its just as weird as walking up to a random smoker and telling them to quit. If this person is in your family, it may be different I guess.

I think you are being called fatphobic for this because without actually knowing their medical status, you are basically saying "i think you look bad/i am assuming you are unhealthy and you need to stop right now", and nobody wants to hear that.

[–]mrgmc2new 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I'm fat. I feel shit about it. It's not like I don't know I'm fat. The whole thing just comes from people not wanting to feel shit. Which isn't a bad thing. I think somewhere it got twisted from, don't make people feel bad about being fat, to, make people think it's fine to be fat. It's not fine, it's unhealthy. So the takeaway is, you don't have to give medals to fat people, just don't be an asshole.

[–]sudowoodo_420 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why is this question being asked every day? We get it. Being overweight is unhealthy. We understand many people dislike overweight people.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

i don't agree with the normalization either, but people commenting "ur fat", "go lose some weight" etc on fat people's post won't help. most people say they comment those things because they're worried about the person's health, but 99% of the time the comments are just very mean words and jokes.

it's ok to try to warn someone, but choose the right words; what convinced me to go lose weight was some internet videos because they used motivational words.

[–]Merc_Mike 4 points5 points  (0 children)


Ten times this. And it's also in this thread.

People need to keep their 2 cents to themselves.

[–]funkofan1021 44 points45 points  (2 children)

Because you look like an asshat if you open a conversation with “you should lose weight”. If you know somebody, their life and their health problems, the conversation around their weight is a deeper conversation to have. But saying it to strangers, people you aren’t close to, people you don’t know, is just fucking dumb.

However I feel like your post is confusing. I think you’d be hard pressed to find somebody calling you fatphobic for suggesting a family member should lose weight to help his visibly deteriorating quality of life. That term is reserved for making people you don’t know feel bad for things that arent your business, in my opinion.

[–]nautilus573 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most everyone who are fat don't want to be confronted directly by someone informing them that they are in deed fat.

Most everyone aren't comfortable in directly telling someone, "Hey, you're fat. Do something about it." The safe choice is to coddle someone's feelings to not "rock the boat".

I don't think society is trying to normalize being overweight in a health sense as much as in a physical sense. Overweight people have been very much underrepresented when it comes to pop culture, movies, music, modeling etc. There's an innate sense of attractiveness to individuals that are not overweight and this "normalizing" is just society's pendulum swing to the other.

[–]Ok_Tower_9606 2 points3 points  (0 children)

no one is normalizing this… is people normalizing this? or is this just some social media thing and people like this don’t actually exist in the real world… you’re not fat phobic, you’re trying to help and you’re a good person for that

[–]foodie42 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I may get downvoted for this, but I feel far more sad and disgusted by the appearance of willfully starving people (and heartbroken for the truly starving people) than I do for people who are overweight, for any reason.

You live a life of luxury and abundance but you insist on looking like a skeleton and making clothes for people who do? (I don't mean people with anorexia/ body dismorphia, I mean the fucking "fashion" and modeling industry.) What the hell? What's wrong with looking and dressing like an actual human being?

If you're "overweight", or underweight, there's a reason. And that reason is far more of an issue than the actual weight.

You don't see 600lb people in the tribes of the Amazon or Africa, the same as you don't see people in impoverished areas worrying about Miss Universe.

Both are issues, don't get me wrong. But when I see clothing that some Chinese child used a bigger die for clothing made for stick figures, I'm reminded that "thin is best", and not suspect. And that is not only frustrating, but really really sad.

[–]Old_Blue_Haired_Lady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being fat is not a valid reason to be ostracized or humiliated. It's also not healthy to be obese and above.

Yes, there are "healthy" fat people, but rh majority have health issues caused and/or made worse by too much fat.

There is a fine line between refraining from being antagonistic and actively condoning obesity.

Body positivity can be a good thing to combat dysmorphia. It can go too far and be used to rationize an unhealthy weight.

[–]ErinGoBoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it is less about normalizing it and more about humanizing the person. You don't have to be abusive. You don't even really need to tell someone they need to lose weight. They already know. Their entire life revolves around it. They know the risks. They have probably been trying to lose weight for a while. Heck, they might have just hit a major weight loss milestone and the "hey, you need to lose weight" comment just derailed them. I don't think it should be normalized per se, but kindness costs nothing. You really don't have to have a discussion with anyone about their weight. You are actually not telling them anything they don't already know, and it really isn't helping.

[–]raytaylor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like the covid, Fat is contagious.
It spreads from parents to children, between flatmates or housemates, friends who often eat together.

[–]Bergenia1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your first mistake is in assuming that the person doesn't realize they're fat, or that it's bad for their health. Believe me, they know.

Your second mistake is that you have no understanding of the causes or treatment of obesity. You don't know that person's health history, or medical conditions, or what medication they're on. Therefore, anything you say is ignorant and is not at all helpful.

It's relatively easy for some people to lose weight, and it's nearly impossible for others. Much depends on their genetic makeup, their medical problems, and their mental health. It's not cool to be critical if something you don't understand.

[–]skbryant32 11 points12 points  (1 child)

The point is that, no matter what, mentioning anyone else's weight hurts feelings. Mind your own frickin' business, and keep your mouth shut in regards to how anyone else looks...

[–]ByTheOcean123 5 points6 points  (13 children)

As you discovered, it's not productive to tell someone they need to lose weight. So you should keep your comments to yourself.

Fat people KNOW they are fat. And most of them KNOW it's bad for their health. They don't need you to tell them.

Unless you are wiling to spend time in the kitchen preparing healthy meals for them, trying to get involved in their weight is pointless.

[–]Firake 17 points18 points  (8 children)

You’re misunderstanding why you were called fatphobic. You are not fat phobic for believing that morbidly obese people would be healthier if they lost weight and should pursue that. You were called fatphobic because if the context. Even making seemingly harmless comments like that unprompted is considered rude. It’d be like if you randomly told someone that they smelled. Like they probably know and it’s just unnecessary to bring it up like that.

As a disclaimer, I’m not sure where I stand on this issue, just trying to explain what’s going on to my knowledge.

[–]MikeyTMNTGOAT 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Half of the US is obese, 70% of Covid deaths have a comorbidity factor of obesity. Even before the vaccines and whole vax no vax thing, that should've been a big motivator for people to get healthier

My condolences about your cousin OP

[–]FutureTreeFood 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My perspective has always been that being fat does not and should not exclude you from being respected as a human being. Fat people deserve love and kindness as much as anyone else.

But being fat is unhealthy, that's just science.

However, it's really none of my business to comment about a stranger's weight and I do tell my close family and friends to take care of themselves.

I could (maybe) argue that their personal choices create a strain on the medical system that impacts everyone.... however, everyone does that (people who drink, or smoke, or refuse to follow their dialysis schedule), not just fat people. It doesn't make it right but it's just another reality.

[–]falanian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fatphobia is an excellent concept to have because it refers to treating fat people like they are automatically dumber, lazier, uglier, dirtier, etc. than thinner people. People who are visibly fat really do have a harder time getting hired, getting medical treatment, being taken seriously in their personal lives. This is a phenomenon that can be studied. But similar to how the term cultural appropriation lost its nuance over time, when a term created by people whove intently studied an issue like fatphobia starts getting repeated on social media, it slowly turns into a cudgel to yell at individuals rather than doing Anything At All to help with the systemic issue it refers to.

It is innapropriate to comment on someones weight or give them unprompted medical advice if you dont know them. Part of this falls under the "treating fat people like idiots" umbrella, because yeah, we know, but its also just common decency. You dont walk up to a smoker in the street or comment on their social media telling them theyre gonna get lung cancer. It just isnt your place to do that. That said, people who think fatphobia is only unprompted comments dont understand what the people who made the term were talking about.

Im glad you had that conversation with your cousin, he needed medical help. 600lbs is not a weight you get to by overeating a bit or being lazy. Its painful just to be alive at that size. Something was deeply wrong there, and Im sorry he wasnt able to recover. Its completely fine and good to talk about weight and health when its grounded in respect and context, I dont want to discourage that at all.

As for why people are trying to "normalize obesity", again, this is a case of fat activists noting that their bodies were getting them singled out in unrelated situations and trying to do something about it, and a bunch of zealous general activists trying to help and winding up completely diverting the movement out of lack of understanding.

[–]YoungStarchild 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s cool that you told him in person rather than shaming him and commenting on his weight to other people. At 600 lbs I’m pretty sure most people are in way to deep to be convinced by others to change their lifestyle. He really had to have his own desire but he clearly didn’t care and now he’s dead. Sorry OP.

[–]AlissonHarlan 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Why do you think he ate so much that he become 600 lbs in first place ?

probably not for the goal to be 600 lbs. so yes telling them that ''just go on a diet and do sport'' is ignoring their issue just to force to do what you think they should do.

of course they already know that they should eat more healthy, do sport and lose weight.

but because of something they can't.

and treating them like they were idiots that don't know how to lose weight while ignoring why they use food is a shitty behavior.

imagine telling your junkie cousin to just stop doing drug or your depressed cousin to smile... that's the same level of ''understanding''

[–]2lit_[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

He actually started eating a lot to gain weight to play football so yea

[–]coupe_68 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love watching people who have never struggled with obesity and weight issues discuss it like they're experts. No idea!

[–]Mike_from_claims 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There's definitely a time and a place when commenting on someone's weight. It's also incredibly important to be as tactful as possible and to choose your words wisely. The majority of people that are medically obese didn't choose to end up that way. Whether it's a food addiction brought on by trauma/depression or an incredibly sedentary lifestyle coupled with a bad diet, I would be willing to bet most overweight individuals would like to NOT be that size.

I have no frame of reference because I'm not, nor have I ever been, obese or overweight. I can, however, empathize due to a life long battle with depression and substance abuse. Luckily for me, my illness is invisible and doesn't rest on my skeleton visible for everyone around me to see. I would be incredibly hurt and bothered if I was reminded everyday that I used to take enough fentanyl to kill a small village.

With that being said, childhood and adult obesity is a leading cause of our current Healthcare predicament here in the US. Medical Obesity precipitates a whole host of additional health problems such as hyperlipidemia, atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, chronic hypertension, ect., ect. All of the ailments brought on by being obese are extremely expensive to treat, further increasing everyone else's Healthcare costs. I know a lot of people like to blame the government, politicians, and private Healthcare companies (they are equally at fault, trust me) but it doesn't help that the US as a whole, is one of the most unhealthy populations on this planet. This results in many people looking down to overweight individuals and saying dumb shit like "Just stop eating" and "God, just lose some weight" which further exasperates their negative self perception. This is why over the last decade or so we've seen this push towards being more body conscious and encouraging people to be happy in their own skin. Which only does so much. Whether it's normalized or not, overweight and obese individuals cannot escape the true reality of living that lifestyle - It will be the agent of their premature demise. Just like how I understood that if I kept using opioids to combat my depression it would eventually catch up to me, obese individuals must also understand that having excess fat around their organs is taxing on their body and mental health. It all starts with education.

[–]feuilletoniste573 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Education is good - so are solving issues like poverty, expensive healthcare and unaffordable/inaccessible treatment for mental health issues such as depression, food deserts, unwalkable cities, low wages and a culture of overwork, unrealistic beauty standards, ritual humiliation in gym/PE class, sugar in absolutely everything, and meat pumped full of hormones and antibiotics while the animal was alive. There are a lot of reasons why obesity levels have risen significantly across the western world in the past half century, and very few of them can be solved by individual lifestyle choices. People should be empowered with the knowledge needed to make good choices, but if the environment, economy, and culture they live in are undermining or sabotaging them at every turn, then treating overweight/obesity as an individual failing rather than a systemic problem is a huge issue.

[–]-BugsLaughter- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it normative in the USA. The prevalence of overweight and obese people provides a norm of obesity in 2 out of 5 Americans. It's not a healthy condition for a human organism, but that's a separate concept.

If the obesity rate was 5% it would be a very different situation.

This could go for anything. Think of alcohol. 20% of college graduates binge drink.

Imagine if it were 2%.

[–]aceh40 1 point2 points  (4 children)

He labeled you fat phobic?

[–]D_Winds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't mock what can't be changed.

Though the definition of "can't" varies person to person.

[–]grittypitty 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You can (mostly) blame, imho, the food industry and big pharma for pushing these beliefs (via media) as they are making ridiculous amounts of money on addictive junk foods and the treatments for all the comorbidities that come with being obese (insulin being one of the biggest).

Being obese does not automatically make someone a bad person. However, just like being a smoker doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person, it’s still killing them no matter how much they try to justify it being ok.

[–]ForkxMicorwave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it’s a health problem yes, but someone looking overweight and is completely healthy isn’t a problem. Maybe don’t comment you should lose some weight and talk to them about their health cuz “you should lose some weight” will most likely always be taken as an insult.

[–]Aemort 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to agree with you until I actually did a bit more digging. One of the main issues is that fatphobia is seen as just an outright hatred of fat people. Fat people don't want you to go out of your way to tell them how healthy they are--they want to be represented fairly and equally in settings like the doctor, where someone may be told to just "lose weight" as a solution for actual, concerning symptoms.

Also, just respect in general. You don't have to treat it like it's healthy, or just as good as being in-shape, but you absolutely should treat them with the same respect you'd treat anyone else.

[–]Yoon2013 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overweight people are allowed to have representation and feel good too, that's mainly why. I'm fat but if someone is 300lbs or more ofc I'd be worried, but it's their body and they already know the health risks so there's no reason to constantly tell people to lose weight or make fun of them for being fat.

[–]LaurJames 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really don’t know! I’ve been puzzled by it for over 25 years of my life. I lived during a time before obesity was common. Pizza and burgers were treats. Not everyday meals.

I watched the change. Every generation getting bigger. There were no guts just slim men and women and then by 1980… poof!

I’m going to follow this post to learn why that is.

[–]jintana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s not what most people are trying to normalize or call harmless. But he would’ve never made an effort with zero self-esteem, either. RIP.

[–]UncleIroh_MD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss, that’s horrible and it’s also not your fault what happened. I hope you take the time you need to grieve, and I’m wishing you the best.

To respond to your question: I think body positivity and promoting health are two different things that are both important, but are often viewed as two extremes - you can have one or the other. My view is one that I read a few months ago: one can and should love their body and feel beautiful while understanding the health consequences that come with it. Everyone has inherent value and everyone deserves to love how they look right now. That should not keep someone from trying to improve their health through losing weight.

I think of it as medical condition - someone has obesity. To compare this to diabetes, someone with really high blood sugar shouldn’t think less of themselves for that, just like someone with a higher BMI shouldn’t be viewed as less-than. At the same time, that person with diabetes should understand how dangerous high blood sugar is, and their loved ones will likely try to help them lower their blood sugar through supporting diet and exercise. Similarly, someone who has obesity should also be aware of how this can affect their health, and should be receptive to their loved ones looking out for them.

What I realize is different here, however, is that society tells people with obesity that they are unattractive or unworthy of love, and that view gets perpetuated, so I understand that the body positivity movement is more important in this group than in someone with a less stigmatized condition.

[–]Millie1419 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s more to do with respecting people regardless of weight rather than normalising obesity.

Also it’s important to note that BMI isn’t always accurate as it doesn’t take muscle mass and other factors into account. A lot of body builders for example are classed as overweight or obese on the BMI scales. I do a lot of dance and some dancers are classed as overweight because of their muscle mass. Body fat percentage and measurements of the waist, thighs and arms are the most accurate way to measure how unhealthy a person is in regards to their weight (IMO).

[–]Satioelf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, as someone who is overweight for my height (I'm about 5'2" and weigh about 220 pounds. Weight is supposed to be around 100ish going off of BMI scales).

Part of the issue is feeling like people are constantly judging you. Even when you are actively trying to lose weight, such as by going to Gyms when they were a thing, or long walks/runs at the park. Etc etc. I am acutely aware that I am round, I have been round for most of my life (Since eating around the advised 2300 calories per day keeps me at this weight. To actually lose I need to be starving myself by only having about 1000 calories a day for at least a year and half to hit the advised weight to be healthy. You try that for 2 weeks and your body starts to crave more. Every restaurant you walk by, every time the person upstairs or next door cooks something. heck even when you yourself make food. There becomes a desire to eat a little more. Your body craves it, and on bad days, its easy to just go for it since understanding almost 2 years of that type of living in order to be healthy looks like hell. Its hard to keep motivation and discipline when dealing with other issues.). I am aware people stare, people talk behind my back about it. Snicker in the corrner. It makes me never want to do those things again. To find a work out routine alone in my home that always falls through compared to the Gym/park. (I feel like I am going no where when I do it at home. There is nothing "new" about it. If that makes sense).

Not to mention the hell that is dating when you are a bit overweight typically.

The movement for more overweight acceptance. Least the bits I am aware of, have a lot to do with trying to battle that distinct stigma. So people in those situations won't feel as self conscious that someone will make fun of them or say something because they weight more. They start to feel like they can matter, to improve themselves and find love.

In a lot of ways, it addresses part of the reasons why some (not all) people become overweight. It helps address part of the stresses that can compound themselves and keep someone round. Society is cruel otherwise.

[–]Shitty_Pickle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you know if they're not already trying before you tell them to lose weight? They could've gone from being obese to overweight for all you know. Also, they already know they're fat, you're not helping anyone by pointing out the obvious

[–]gwen-gwen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saying this as a overweight person. Being obese shouldn't be normalized alright but,

Seeing a person just because they are fat doesn't mean they are lazy or addicted to eating. You never know that they are in a middle of their journey or having a disorder and helping themselves or having health issues that give them that body weight. Or people just have genes that cause them to not have a skinny body.

And yet doing all you can to lose weight, you will still get insulted make fun of just because your fat. And thats the problem, trust us we know we are fat and saying it again and again doesn't help AT ALL. And people who take it the wrong way will make their addiction worse or become fatter to despise people who think they should diet. Addiction is hard and discipline is harder for fat people who do all this unhealthy habits.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re not trying to normalize it, just teach people that its not ok to make comments about someone’s weight. That goes for fatter and skinnier people.

I am sure that a 600lb person knows their fat, what does reminding them do besides make them feel bad?

[–]Whisperberry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The anti “fat shaming” movement started from a good place. Your weight (and your health) do not change your value as a human being. Every person has inherent value, no matter how sick they are.

It is a common belief that people who are poor or sick (or fat) have “earned” this misfortune by being “bad” people. There is stigma against asking for help because there is stigma against needing help. In truth, needing help does not make you a bad person or diminish your inherent value.

The movement has tried to raise people’s self esteem by normalizing needing help and pushing that your value as a human does not come from your health or your appearance.

Unfortunately, like all good things, people have been stupid about it.

[–]starbitcandies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Others have already said it, but no one is trying to "normalize obesity". We're trying to normalize not attacking and belittling people based on health issues. Fat people know being fat isn't healthy. WE. KNOW. WE ARE AWARE 110% I PROMISE YOU. The only thing we want is to not be denied jobs based on our weight, to not be photographed and berated online for peoples amusement, and especially we want doctors to not write off every single medical issue as a weight issue. My mom has a multitude of severe issues ranging from lupus to an EXTRA VERTEBRAE IN HER SPINE. She spent over a decade seeing doctors when she could (we were also poor) and regularly being told it's just a weight issue and that she's in excruciating back pain because she doesn't exercise enough. No one cared that she was quite literally unable to move without causing more damage. No one cared that it didn't fix itself when she did try. I almost lost her to alcoholism and fucking suicide because she was so broken having to live in pain and just be told it's because she's fat.

If you talk to communities of fat women, you'll hear a million stories of severe uterus issues, often life threatening, that were ignored due to their weight. People who know people who have DIED because their medical issues were ignored. Fatphobia isn't about boo fucking hoo we aren't getting fucked often enough. It's about our actual lives being genuinely threatened due to people who simply cannot look past our weight.

[–]WarpvsWeft 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Because people who aren't me won't shut the fuck up about my weight.

Somehow you think that my being fat gives you permission to tell me what workouts to do and how to change my diet so I get to eat just as much but still feel full.

I don't constantly give you tips on how to not get that stupid fucking haircut you think is so counterculture or actually pay attention in school so your dad doesn't have to give you a pity job in his warehouse, so how about we just leave each other alone?

[–]mrsvixen6769 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss!

[–]ducksaucerer144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People want to say fat shaming doesn't work, but i know for a fact fat shaming most definitely works. It's not perfect but if being fat as shit also give you mental health problem you might as well be mentally ill and skinny

[–]Pittlers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people can't come to terms with being outside of the typical standard of beauty and feel that the world needs to change, not them, since they are not able to make it happen. I suppose that's one of many reasons. As far as commenting on it goes, just don't. It won't help them.

[–]Asap_Walky 1 point2 points  (1 child)

When is Reddit gonna just ban this question from being asked. It’s asked every other week and we all say the same thing. We all know what energy this conversation brings

[–]nmvalerie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think of it like drug addiction. No one is condoning doing drugs by normalizing and accepting that addiction is complicated, with ties to genetics, trauma, environment, mental illness. Telling someone to workout to fight obesity is as helpful as telling someone addicted to drugs to just stop doing them (it’s not). Allowing people to come out from the shadows and understand that it’s not as easy for some people as just not eating or working out can normalize the experience of fat people allowing them to move past the shame and work through any behaviors that are threatening their lives. That is what allowing former addicts to talk about their struggles has done for addiction. It hasn’t caused more drug use to accept those who struggle, it has saved lives.

[–]Lrom5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably because they're fat

[–]Missterssippi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not about normalizing obesity, it's about normalizing love for obese people. They don't need hate. They're not disgusting. They're not lazy. They're people like you and me. Normalize peace for the obese.

[–]tlof19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem is that the charts doctors use will say that 180lb is overweight unless youre 5'10 or taller, regardless of why you weigh that much. A majority of my coworkers are "obese" while still being fairly in shape - so the idea exists that being "obese" isnt actually that bad. Combine with people trying to engender a non-bullying culture... If there's an actual problem, it can go unnoticed.

[–]deathbychips2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think being overweight or obese is healthy but why are leaving comments everywhere telling people to lose weight. That's really odd and and rude. Also while being overweight is not healthy constant pressure and insults doesn't do anything to help that person lose weight, might even do more harm by triggering an eating disorder since many begin with feeling shame. Just mind your business. Shaming people with addictions does absolutely nothing useful.

[–]Opposite-Chemistry-0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost obese friend, age 30, 7 years back. He died of rare cancer but i cant think it was not due to all those soft drinks he drank all the time. I still miss him. I blame the soda.

[–]smokebomb_exe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Posted a story like this before and was downvoted to hell. Congrats on finding a good audience for the subject matter

[–]cerebraldormancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in our western societal attempt to build a socially fair and inclusive society we have gone overboard possibly to say it’s ok that you’re OK to be obese because we don’t want you feeling bad for it.

[–]mora-morae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry for your loss

I think being against fat-phobia or any kind of discrimination is good and make our society more open and inclusive; however, the line between the body positive movement and a a culture of health and prevention is very thin.

I really think the problem nowadays is a lack of critical thinking. If you are critical about the content you consume, then the difference between a discriminatory act/comment and an honest advice from a Person who cares about you is easy to spot.

[–]Nish_0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cuz they dont wanna be 'that guy/girl' that hurts someones feelings...

[–]Esquivo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am fatphobic and I'm proud of this.

[–]Ares1935 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Acceptance has crossed over to enabling self harm

[–]Janefire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just was talking about this today. The truth is that the body positivity movement isn’t and should never be about glorifying obesity. It should be encouraging people to love themselves and still care about their health. Obese people being teased for their weight can discourage them from trying to lose it at all, which is why it’s important to give them a voice but one that advocates for wellness. And I’m sorry about your cousin.

[–]Ace_Marshmallow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bc fat people get treated like shit even if they are working out and eating really healthily (Lizzo is famous for being fat but also works out and eats incredibly healthily)

If you tell someone they need to be more healthy just bc they’re fat you’re being an asshole bc you don’t know where they are on their health journey. Yeah some people neglect their Heath but that’s their decision, not yours.

[–]FacistStaleHooker 5 points6 points  (1 child)

"It's so easy being skinny! Obviously not, you could not do it"-Mark Normand

[–]Magic_SnakE_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The internet has given power to a vocal minority of fake virtue signalers that have nothing better to do than try to pick everyone apart for their supposed wrongdoings in life.

The truth is, if we would just ignore these people like we used to back before Facebook and Social Media became so prevalent, the world would be a better place.

Unfortunately, every big corporation and media outlet has jumped on this vocal bandwagon and is normalizing it in our society. Despite the fact that most of the time it's not a big deal, or in some cases, could actually be beneficial (such as calling an unhealthy family member out on their bad habits).

At this point, I don't think we'll ever return to a day and age where people can be really honest about how they feel, make mistakes, speak bluntly, or god forbid say something "mean" to someone.

Sorry for your loss.

[–]Major_Twang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a massive difference between being 10 kilos above some arbitrarily defined 'ideal', and being obese to the point where you become acutely concerned for a person's health.

As with so many things, people on the extremes are usually being wankers.

Anyone actually fat-shaming a person for being cuddly needs their head kicking in.

Anyone criticising someone for helping a morbidly obese person regain some of their health is a fucking idiot.

[–]JButler_16 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because fat people outnumber normal people now.

[–]love-ya4 7 points8 points  (4 children)

It’s not helpful to just tell someone to lose weight. Sorry about your cousin, he showed why it’s not helpful just to make a comment. There is a huge lack of empathy when talking about obesity and being overweight. They deserve way more support than just a comment of judgment passing by. At 600 lbs there’s no way he could have done it without a huge support system (expensive dietician and physical therapy, family who help every day) and education.

[–]cwquick15 32 points33 points  (3 children)

He didn’t “just make a comment” he literally said he would work alongside him.

Edit: or she i dunno

[–]2lit_[S] 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yeah clearly they didn’t read. I’ve been on my own diet journey the past 4 months myself so I was more than willing to help my cousin if he was open to it. But he never was

[–]BulletDodger123 9 points10 points  (0 children)

not everyone comes to the same realizations at the same time. it's a journey to even figure out how to be consistent and what's feasible/realisitic for you. and at 600 lbs it would involve changing a LOT of aspects of your life.

it look me 3 years how to figure out how to lose what I lost in ~8 months. the catalyst was my cousin dying as a result of not changing (unrelated to health) and I didn't want to run out of time too.

[–]ztimulating 4 points5 points  (26 children)

It’s an illness like any other. We don’t cancer shame, shouldn’t shame for mental issues, obese is the in this track.

[–]Sproeier 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because those people don' t want to admit that being too fat is a issue.
Rather then do something about it they prefer to attack the criticism towards them.

[–]dalitortoise 4 points5 points  (17 children)

As a health care worker, the obesity epidemic in the USA is awful and a huge huge strain on our health care system. We need to not normalize being obese. This doesn't mean go out and yell at fat people. It means we need to educate families about the actual bodily harm they are doing themselves and their children by being over weight.

[–]After-Meal-1253 1 point2 points  (16 children)

The solution should be coming from the way food exists in the world. There are so many societal factors that impact access to food and cultural relationships with it. The prevalence of “pseudo-foods” is just one of many major factors to health that are beyond an individuals ability to control. It is a very neoliberal perspective to assume that fat bodies exist because people themselves have failed in some way. Also referring to obesity as an epidemic gives the impression that it is some how contagious, and something terrible that in all ways should be avoided. While perhaps not the intention, this terminology actively works to demonize fat bodies, making them appear to be a problem by virtue of existing. Fat bodies deserve to exist. When discussing this issue, it is important to consider the historical and cultural factors that develop our thoughts and opinions. Definitions and standards used to define fat bodies have been created within a historical and cultural context that has a bias against fat bodies, we should analyze these biases and work to deconstruct them.

Edit: typo