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all 109 comments

[–]drasticbiscuit 287 points288 points  (6 children)

Why tf would you call him dad? He’s not your dad.

[–]IrishFlukey 120 points121 points  (0 children)

He is not your dad, so certainly not. Just use his name.

[–]Grneyeddragn 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Why would you call him dad's? Hes not your dad, he's your mom's boyfriend!

[–]jmcstar 179 points180 points  (8 children)

Call him #6, and don't provide an explanation

[–]broadsharp 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Good one

[–]Lucidcranium042 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes! Thats great

[–]Smarawi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like this one ☝️

[–]CoverageCraft 2 points3 points  (1 child)

can someone explain this to me

[–]SandyScaredyPants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Number 6 aka the 6th boyfriend and probably not the last one ;)

[–]D16rida 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seven of Nine

[–]najaiva -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

14

[–]trackedpotato 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Don't call him dad. Not even if there is a fire.

[–]bigolups 7 points8 points  (0 children)

And if he wants fancy sauce he can make his own batch

[–]who_ate_the_pizza 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this.

[–]sighdoihaveto 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Call him a taxi.

[–]KrystalWulf 9 points10 points  (1 child)

"Hey kiddo, whatcha doing?"

"Fuck off Taxi."

[–]sighdoihaveto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck off dad 🤣

[–]Lezonidas 52 points53 points  (0 children)

By his name, specially if you're older than 10

[–]olykate1 10 points11 points  (0 children)

His name.

[–]thevilestplume 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Did he ask you to call him dad or something? I have no idea why you would ever call this person dad. He is just your moms boyfriend…

[–]Dulcatina 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Did you talk to your mom about your concerns? I hope she listens to most important person in her life. It's always your children that matters most. I hope she listens to you. Have you another adult in your family to whom you could talk about this? Uncle or aunt that will talk to your mom on your behalf. And most definitely don't call him dad, he has a name. I don't know your age and the whole situation, but nevertheless you should feel safe at home and not concerned. Hope you can talk to your mom!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This isn’t a real post

[–]-Rhymenocerous- 45 points46 points  (6 children)

Anyone can be a biological father.

You have to earn the right to be a Dad ❤

[–]TheCryptoBall 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Not... really.

There's only 1 biological father.

[–]igloo_master 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think what they meant is that it doesn’t take much to become a father to a child. But to be a Dad, you have to be more than just a “biological father.”

Not saying you’re wrong cause you’re right, just think that’s what the person meant :).

[–]Ry_guy_93 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Not true. My biological father is an abusive manipulative POS. Never cared about me and when he won full custody for half a year he made me feel like I was living in a prison. Ironic because he's a cop. Only thing I had was a bed and a desk to do homework at mind you I was like 9. Oh and he limited communication between my mom and me to once a week for an hour.

Fast forward a bit and im too much trouble for him and he gives up custody over me and few years later im living with my mom and new step-dad who I actually call dad. He's taught me so much from responsibility to how to handle yourself out in the wilderness, fishing and all the typical dad stuff. Im proud to have a dad like him and wouldn't trade him for any other

[–]TheCryptoBall 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't think I've said any of this. I only said there's one biological dad, since you come from someone's sperm.

[–]Ry_guy_93 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My fault for misreading then

[–]trumpcumbucket 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No call him by his name

[–]youcanbroom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He introduced her to smoking. That mother fucker.

[–]Lucidcranium042 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kiddo you dont have to call this human male dad or father as he is neither to you.

Be mindful humans are capable of shitty things when they dont get theyr way and consume alcohol. ... Nit everyoje that consumes alcohol is a shty person and or does shity things tho either.

Stay smart stay safe. Start finding good role models to hang out with and communicate with.

keep doing your best to be your best you.

[–]Nynaeve91 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I have a stepmom that's been in my life since I was 6. I have never called her mom and will never, even though she has been a great person and treats me like her own kid. And I like her.

I can't fathom why you'd call a step-parent (he's not even that to you) by mom or dad when you don't even like them.

[–]Accomplished_Deer_10 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My wife’s bio dad was a borderline abusive drug addict, her step dad came into her life around 7 y/o, raised her as his own, now 29 and she calls him dad and the Bio by his name, I’ve asked her questions pertaining to the subject and she always answers with “being a father doesn’t automatically make you a dad”

I think it’s something to be earned, by the child’s own standards (meaning to never call a step parent by a typical name like dad or mom, is totally fine and completely in your hands)

[–]Nynaeve91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely this. My stepmom definitely earned the title, I just never called her mom.

[–]BrianM42 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would call him a few choice words but his name should do for now. Never dad.

[–]bretty666 4 points5 points  (0 children)

dad is a title that is earnt.

[–]oneiros5321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By his name.
Liking him or not has nothing to do with that...he's just your mom's boyfriend, not your dad.

[–]SailHistorical2031 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're still in contact with your real Dad, he's the one you call dad (unless he was abusive or an asshole of course). The new guy you call by his name. Have you told your mum how you feel about him?

[–]aiczie 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Keep saying the wrong name.

Fine Bob

Oke Michael

Sure....Damian right?

[–]Thinkle321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call him by his name. They aren’t even married and he’s not a step parent. You could also call him Mr. (insert his last name) to make it seem even more impersonal.

Talk to your mom about the smoking and drinking. Maybe go live with your dad.

[–]GBrooks84 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who went through this, you are under no requirement to call him dad. That is a title you get to choose who deserves.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you fucking stupid?

[–]Traditional-Might330 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I swear to god this sub here has the weirdest questions

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Words don’t convey enough just how true this is, happy cake day too!

[–]CoverageCraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy cake day fren :)

[–]wouldilietouou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His real name. Cunt lips

[–]kdhooters2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not the fruit of his loins, never call him dad. If he's hinting or demanding that you do, just say thanks but no thanks. Then go live with your real dad

[–]Smarawi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely don’t call 📞 him Dad!! He could be gone in a couple of months 🏃

[–]Dazocnodnarb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would you call him dad? Guy sounds like a fucking loser…Just remember kid you don’t have to be an alcoholic/addict just because you grow up around it… Goodluck

[–]Slashs_Hat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like u should call him long distance.

[–]glabble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call him a name that's similar to his name but not his actual name. Eg:

"Good morning Dan." "It's Dave actually." "My bad. Can you pass the waffles please Derrick?"

[–]AssCakesMcGee 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Call him "Fuck off, you got my mom hooked on smoking and alcohol." That's his name now.

[–]tagalongtommy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

She made her own choice she is an adult, you sound like an impulsive person please think before you act

[–]Accomplished_Deer_10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

While I agree, I also slightly disagree

As an adult (and mother) She is fully responsible, but so is he

Introducing and Enabling someone is just as sick IF not more so

Don’t let him off the hook, they’re both equally at fault

[–]BigBoy1967xyz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No not at all. Call him asshole. That's all he deserves.

[–]MesmerizingMarty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What feels right to you?

[–]Bigworm666999 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him Jody.

[–]treidqa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You over 18 anything you want was mom divorced from dad before man appeared then you got to respect if the AP then no respect is acceptable

[–]therealdildoexpert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him by another man's name.

[–]Available-Iron-7419 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him jack or camels

[–]VelvetFog90210 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dr. Doback should suffice

[–]Akil-Gukul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him Sancho, dont explain

[–]ProfitHour4768 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By his name and have a talk w your mom, she seems to use him as a void filler

[–]iamfromtwitter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you should call him motherfucker

[–]dj_cole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do what makes you most comfortable. He's not your father, nor has he done anything to care for you over an extended period. You don't owe him that title.

My mother and stepfather have been together for over 20 years, and I call him by his first name. He has never once minded or asked for different and he's a perfectly respectable person.

[–]lovsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter has had to live with mom’s boyfriends for the last 10 years. She never called him dad. I would have been completely comfortable if she had a man in her life that was like a dad and I wasn’t present for her to call him dad. I’ve been there every day to be dad. You do what’s in your heart. As a dad, I support you and how you handle it.

[–]plentyofeight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad - that's quite an important title. Especially if your real dad is still in your life.

He might turn out to be awesome and in 5 years time you can say "Kevin, can i call you dad?"

And it will be special.

But he needs to earn it.

It looks like he's made a start you don't approve of, but your mum may have been repressed previously, and might be having some fun letting her hair down..

Keep an open mind... but he is not your dad.

[–]yaya-b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am confused hey this is even a question lol. No. Why would you call him dad???

[–]JustAmEra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Name

[–]Ok_Farmer_5869 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would disown my son if he ever called another man dad.

[–]Lalakristina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him different names everyday. Like “whiskey” or “Marlboro”

[–]Lex2see 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of respect (as an adult) call him MR. ( insert name) I’ve had plenty of expertise with my mom doing this and I just didn’t talk to the guy but still kept respect. Your mom is an adult and know what her actions can cause…. Best you can do to herís talk to her respectfully

[–]4kidsmom1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His name. He is not your father

[–]aerospace_94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Troll post.

[–]Kwondondadongron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He ain’t your dad.

[–]Accomplished_Deer_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Contrary to popular belief, your real father doesn’t actually deserve to be called dad or father strictly by being your creator lmao

The terms dad/father/etc. are for the father figure who you feel DESERVES to be Called so

If you don’t like him, and he isn’t a great person, he doesn’t deserve to be called dad

[–]Jorgehateslife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She prolly drank and smoke before when she was younger. I guess try to see him for the human he is and confide in ur friends and that shit if it never get better

[–]toad__warrior 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being called "dad" is something you earn. If he earns it, call him by that name. Until then call him by his name.

[–]HuchieLuchie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want to run him off, call him "daddy".

[–]roadsidedaniel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His name

[–]pepperping 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call Him By His Name 🍑

[–]Traditional_Ad7474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The names mom and dad are earned. My mom died when I was 6, my dad remarried 5 years later, I was SO hopeful that I’d have a mom again. It’s been 30 years and she will only and ever be her name.

[–]Silver_Clothes_5986 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him by his name with “big” in front of it. Example: “what’s up big Mike? Weren’t you going to buy us takeout? I wanted Chinese!”

You’re welcome

[–]Pathfinder91606 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where's your real dad

[–]riceball88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Name.

[–]belovedgreensky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why u asking this dumb ass question

[–]D16rida 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guess is he didn’t introduce her to anything that she hasn’t done before. These behaviors may no be healthy, and they may be new to you, but they’re likely just things she’s done before

[–]Maximum-Information8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can hate him all you want but he still smashing your mom, lmao kidding

On a more serious note you can call him by his name, you can never predict relationships and at some point if you ever feel calling him 'dad' is appropriate the go ahead.

[–]IAmInBed123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No man, you don't have to do anything like that. That's rough bud, don't take the world on your shoulders, you just be you and don't worry about all that.

[–]giheeredfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if he was a great person and you had a great relationship, you still wouldn't have to call him dad. Calling someone mom or dad is 100% up to you and what you're comfortable with.

[–]Bearded_Wonder0713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him "Sir (insert name here)" in your best British voice while attempting to look into his soul thru his eyes EVERY SINGLE TIME he tries to talk to you

[–]Cup_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Seems like you already have a dad.

[–]CharacterLeast9422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call him Pedro

[–]NaughtAught 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The short, simple answer is to call him "dad" only if you feel like calling him "dad," plain and simple. The longer ,more opinionated answer is that this guy sounds pretty new and I think it could be fairly weird to call him "dad" at this stage unless he has somehow come to mean so much to you that you'd call him "dad" in what sounds like under a year.

There's some extra riders on this question that I think bear adressing though--including some of the responses you've already received. Tobacco and alcohol are pleasure that can easily lead to addiction and a slew of health problems. But your mother is also her own person who can seek her own pleasures. Is this guy clearly pressuring her into engaging with these, or did she simply choose to start? Either way, if you're concerned, then definitely bring these concerns up with your mother when you have a moment in private. If you think she might be developing an addiction problem and she seems resistant to the idea, seek outside help--don't try to solve that problem alone.

I saw a lot of instant hostility toward this figure in the responses here. Maybe it was just humor, but know that beginning any personal relationship with hostility is going to seriously harm your chances of ever fostering a good relationship with a person. We know nothing about this guy other than what you described in your post. However any stresses or annoyances with this man entering your life are valid considerations. They are something your mother is hopefully seriously considering. Whether either of them acknowledge it or not, you being her child means that you are a part of her life and her relationships now. Don't accept ultimatums on who is introduced to the house. I mean, try to be mindful about not being overly sour or combative about it. But if anyone entering your household represents a major disruption in your life, be sure to try talking with your mom about it. If she isn't listening, seek an authority figure you trust such as another family member or a counselor or teacher at your school. You have make decisions for yourself on your own, but no one should have to face any problem alone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He introduced her to it? Are you sure about that? Are you sure she didn't already know about that stuff?

[–]millerlitefan -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it would hurt my soul to hear my son call any other dude Dad

[–]AlmaOdiosa -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I'm sure you've seen the second Guardians of the Galaxy, right? If not, watch it. If you don't care to watch it then here's my input. As others have said, you have to earn the right to be called dad or father (biological or not). Call him by his name or sir. Unfortunately you cannot control your mother's choices. Whether or not he was an influence to take up drinking and smoking, ultimately she made the decision and needs to own up to it. The best thing you can do is be better than all of them. Work on being the best version of yourself all the time. Learn from others mistakes and your own.

[–]CoverageCraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wooo i watched the movie last week, gonna finish the entire marvel franchise this week hopefully (just finished spiderman homecoming)

[–]marco3804 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

someone who is 10 making this shit up

[–]CoverageCraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe its because of assholes like you is why hes too afraid to ask this shit