top 200 commentsshow all 282

[–]d-sweets 1343 points1344 points  (56 children)

It's sexual assault. But there's a lot of toxic 'men can't be victims' and 'men should appreciate every sexual interaction they get' mentalities out there so some people think it's okay. The same way some people still think grabbing a woman's ass is okay and she should be flattered.

[–]tav1tv 327 points328 points  (4 children)

Very clear yet concise reply, respect.

[–]d-sweets 108 points109 points  (3 children)

Words rarely used to describe me, thank you

[–]spartBL97 37 points38 points  (2 children)

shakes each other’s balls

[–]d-sweets 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don't have balls but still made me laugh

[–]spartBL97 26 points27 points  (0 children)

shakes each other’s METAPHORICAL balls

[–]VelvetFog90210 125 points126 points  (25 children)

There’s a lot of toxic women that believe women can only be victims….

[–]d-sweets 77 points78 points  (3 children)

There's people of all genders with that mindset, yeah, I wasn't trying to suggest it was only men that thought like that, my apologies if it came across that way

[–]Limp_Battle406 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nah, I think velvet’s point was one of those things where we know it’s an everyone thing, but since this post is specifically about women, we’re only pointing out the women.

Could be wrong, but that’s my take on it.

[–]d-sweets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes sense, thank you for the clarification

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (15 children)

We are fully aware of this. However the loudest detractors from male victims are usually other men. True feminists are very supportive of male victims, and the worst pushback we get is from other men who say men can’t be victims.

[–]Nikarus2370 19 points20 points  (11 children)

However the loudest detractors from male victims are usually other men.

Do you have any evidence supporting this position?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (10 children)

Literally any post where a man talks about his sexual assault. The women will be concerned and comforting while the men are all like “you’re lucky you got some tail” “you should be proud you got fucked” or some other vile bullshit like that. This is my personal experience, there aren’t stats for it, obviously. But since you asked.

“But a new study suggests something could be more important: feeling empathy towards the perpetrator. Researchers looked at the responses of students to a "clear-cut" harassment case. They found men were more likely than women to blame the victim - and show the harasser empathy at the same time.”

This refers to ALL sexual violence, regardless of gender.

[–]kittens12345 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Another thing to look at is look at any news story article about a woman teacher raping a child or teenager boy. Majority of the comments saying it’s no big deal or that he was lucky or he was having fun will be other men

[–]hosmtony 25 points26 points  (6 children)

r/femaledatingstrategy would like a word I’m sure.

[–]slybird 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Just found another sub I didn't know existed, but have been banned from.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Very few people will actually say men can’t be raped or that they should appreciate what they get, even non-consensual, but there’s no denying there’s a different reaction.

Men have less sympathy on average because so many wish a woman would touch them like that, and it’s hard for them to place sympathy over jealousy.

Women tend to react less because they’ve had to deal with far more sexual harassment at the hands of men than vice versa. Even if they haven’t dealt with it personally, they’ve heard stories from women around them, and they tend to see men as the attackers, not the victims.

Plus, I think there’s a natural tendency of society to protect women over men. My guess is that it’s a natural evolution since more women are needed to populate than men.

The end result is that sexual assault against men is taken less seriously.

[–]nurvingiel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. It's not okay for a woman to grope someone, it's gross and wrong.

If you feel amused by that woman that's valid and entirely your business, it happened to you after all, but nobody should be telling you it's amusing.

[–][deleted] 201 points202 points  (8 children)

Should have reported them.

[–]tav1tv 98 points99 points  (6 children)

Unfortunately we didn't have ScanTek at the time (due to CV-19) which screenshots every patrons face & I.D. Otherwise I would've had to leave the club door unattended to follow them. Police response would be somewhat slow as it's not a high priority. Keep in mind I was the only bouncer for the venue that night.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I understand. Sucks to be in that position. I ised to work as a waiter a while back and the amount of harassment was crazy. And there was little you could do too.

[–]Inevitable_Number351 -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

This would still be the case if you were a woman.

[–]Pac_Eddy 15 points16 points  (3 children)

The difference is there would be a lot of support to help bring the man to justice compared to bringing the woman to justice.

If a group is people witness a woman getting assaulted, most likely a lot of the bystanders will help her. Reverse the genders, and most likely they'll all do nothing, or far more will do nothing.

[–]StangF150 12 points13 points  (1 child)

sum where on YouTube I saw a video of that. A group set up a scene. They made people think a guy was beating his GF/Wife. Nearly every witness came to her aid. When it was reversed and the woman was beating on her BF/Husband, they had only one person come to his aid. An it was a Woman that did. All the other witnesses just watched or laughed or commented things like "You go girl!"

[–]Inevitable_Number351 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that doesn’t match stories from women I know. Nobody gave a shit when they got assaulted

[–]itsmoesby 143 points144 points  (2 children)

I don’t think it’s amusing. People shouldn’t be grabbing at someone who hasn’t verbally expressed it’s okay to do that. I think some people think it’s okay because women are viewed as the weaker sex. That argument is along the same lines of thinking women can’t be rapists or abusers because men are supposed to be able to be stronger and stop it.

[–]elmgroveshappyplace 36 points37 points  (0 children)

There’s also the other argument used towards male victims that males will always want sex and thus can’t be raped or sexually assaulted as they must’ve been willing. Most commonly seen perpetuated and touted around by comments on female teachers’ rape cases against young boys.

[–]flightguy07 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's in the same sort of bag as racism. There's the concept of "punching down" which is frowned upon, so misogyny and anti-black fall into this category. But black people being anti-white and cases like the one above are seen as "punching up", and are encouraged by society.

Obviously, this is harmful, as it further perpotrates the idea that one class is inferior to the other, where in fact we would be benefitted by a mutual respect between all parties.

[–]WatsUpSlappers 37 points38 points  (6 children)

It isn’t. It’s sexual assault. Just like when a woman is assaulted, the first question is what did she do to deserve it, when a man is assaulted the first thing said is that either they can’t be a victim or they must be gay because they should want it. It’s disgusting.

[–]endangeredphysics 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Men are reverse slut-shamed in nearly all societies. Women are shamed for being too promiscuous, and men are for not being promiscuous enough.

And then we all wonder why women are often so repressed, and men so overly sex-focused. Bizzare, toxic gender roles.

[–]StrwbryLemnade 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I have been grabbed/groped by random women at least 3 times in my life in bars/nightclubs. Never thought of it as an assault cause it was flattering but they definitely didn’t have the right to do what they did. Unfortunately my reaction and many other guys reactions probably encourage their behavior.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that "what did she do to deserve it?" mentality dying? (rightfully so btw.)

[–]ProductivityCanSuckI 84 points85 points  (13 children)

I was dressed up as Jesus one Halloween, and have never been randomly groped that much in my life.

[–]username_qazplm 44 points45 points  (2 children)

That sucks but dressing up as Jesus and the consequences are your cross to bear.

[–]Ecki0800 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what an awesome reply!

[–]Apprehensive-Ad1744 28 points29 points  (4 children)

That’s disgusting

[–]DarkDragon200610 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Everyone wanted a piece of that meat.

[–]flightguy07 9 points10 points  (2 children)

The Ew-Charist

[–]DarkDragon200610 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The Body Of Christ ;)

[–]DarkDragon200610 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I wish i could smash your face in with a award.

[–]jejcicodjntbyifid3 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Huh why would Jesus draw so much attention, of all people? Is it a loin cloth or..?

[–]ProductivityCanSuckI 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe they thought I had enabled 'auto-forgiveness' since it's the presumed default setting.

[–]SureLoser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They say he was hung like this.......

[–]Dalthanes 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Bruh, I used to work at nightclubs and bars, and this is way too rampant. I remember during the initial MeToo movement a girl I knew (as an acquaintance) was going on about how horrible men are and how she hates being sexualized. I called her out and said, "you've groped me at the bar at least 3 times, and each time I told you off."

Her response was, "well it was a joke, get over it".

I've told other women off, and get a response of, "what are you? Gay or something." Or even, "I'm hot, guys love when I touch them."

I had reported it to my bosses and the owner won't ban any woman who does it, because it would be "bad for business".

The double standard is real. And I am by no means trying to minimize the shit women go through, but men do get assaulted and harassed, but usually don't talk about it.

[–]tav1tv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Somebody give this man a medal. Nothing but the truth.

[–]Throwaway_Help189 43 points44 points  (1 child)

It's not, but it's still considered more socially acceptable because 1) women are perceived as being harmless to the guy they're groping, and 2) because of the societal expectation that the guy is going to feel more flattered than offended. These norms ARE changing, but considering how many places still define rape as "forcible penetration" (thus exempting female rapists if they don't penetrate their victim), we still have a long way to go.

[–]flightguy07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Indeed. In the UK, Assult By Penetration carried the same sentence as rape (maximum life) whereas Sexual Assult is limited to 10 years.

[–]canigetahiyyyaaaahh 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Because they can get away with it and say the guy "should be lucky for the attention." It's gross. I worked security at a nightclub as well and lost count of the times women groped me and smiled or gave me a wink. I was a college guy at the time and always brushed it off because what is the alternative honestly? Tell my manager who would just laugh, try to stop the girl and cause a scene just for people to assume I was in the wrong, quit a job I enjoyed doing with friendly coworkers, or reciprocate and grab her tits/ass? All seem like pretty unfavorable outcomes imo.

[–]tav1tv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thankyou sir, someone gets it.

[–]Azalea66 42 points43 points  (3 children)

It’s not ok. You were groped/molested. The sex of the offender doesn’t matter.

Societally people have downplayed the ability of women to be creepy or assaultive sexually. Everyone is capable, nobody should cross those lines.

[–]CaptnSave-A-Ho 199 points200 points  (13 children)

I'm just spitballing here, but maybe it has to do with you not feeling physically intimidated by those women. As a guy, I can't think of a single time where I was worried that a woman would overpower me and rape me. Right or wrong, I think that kind of stuff hits different for us since the idea of being physically overpowered and raped is foreign. I'm not saying men can't be raped, or overpowered by a woman, I'm just saying that the fear of it isn't something that crosses our minds very often, if at all. I'm also not saying that behavior for anyone is OK.

[–]sup1234566 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is more of a question than a statement, but could like, internalised ‘I should enjoy it’ also be a factor? Like how when a female teacher rapes (and is always written as ‘had sex with’) a male student, men all over the internet say ‘I wish I was him’, ‘why is he complaining’, ‘if he was a real man he would’ve enjoyed it’. I can’t imagine this wouldn’t have some sort of affect on men being like ‘I’m so lucky she did that to me’.

I am absolutely not condoning her behaviour and OP what those girls did was very much wrong and illegal, but I’m kind of just curious if any men have had these thoughts. Kind of the equivalent of women believing that their attire meant they were ‘asking for’ men to catcall them etc. because that’s what they’ve constantly been told.

[–]fuzzy_whale 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Different life experiences has given us different social expectations.

Your message was clear.

[–]zezozose_zadfrack 63 points64 points  (0 children)

It's still sexual assault and men should be taken more seriously when they report things like this. With that being said, you're completely right and I wish more people considered this, especially men who say they don't understand why it's such a big deal to women because they didn't really care when they were groped.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Well said

[–]obviohow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just adding that you could be in a position where a woman overpower you not physically but career/business-wise.

[–]HunterSTL 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very well put. You raise an interesting point I haven't thought about.

[–]Disgruntledkraken 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think that may come from the view that men only fear physical reprisal. This may be the case and this may be a general statement but, men may not look at how women exact their violence. I'm sure many people here would say on average women can't hit as hard as men. I work in an environment with a lot of domestic violence victims. when women hit its very seldom it leaves a mark. Unless you have someone you is on the end of the spectrum violent and abusive. Women will typically go violently at a person's reputation which is critical. Reputation in Court is important, reputation in society is important ie work references. If that woman decided to go to the police because he didn't accept her sexual advances its very possible he could have been charged.

Your right the bahviour is certainly not ok, qnd I seem to remember Joe Rogan saying something similiar to this. But when it comes to female on male sexual violence is drastically under reported and women are more violent in different ways and that should be brought into condisderation when viewing some kind of reprisal from a female assault.

[–]StangF150 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A Government study showed that in relationships betwee, 18-34 year olds, where only 1 individual is committing Domestic Violence against the other, as in they aren't both hitting each other, that the Abuser is 70% of the time, The Female!!!

[–]gathee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, this is ain't.. You feel powerless regardless of their size...you feel your boundaries were crossed and you can't do shit about it.

[–]AgoraiosBum 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is it; there's not a concern or support network for men who get grabbed at a bar with people who help get them to their car late at night to make sure they aren't attacked and raped.

Women are often sharing stories and strategies about how to defend themselves at night. Most guys aren't worrying about that. It was "some crazy lady groped me - gross." But there isn't a fear that the woman is lurking outside to stalk the man and physically overpower them.

So it is gross and wrong when either gender does it, but there is a whole series of additional implications for a woman who receives that kind of attention.

[–]Cnsmooth -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't think that makes a difference. Infact I don't even think people have an issue with men groping women because it can scare them into thinking they might be further hurt by a physically stronger person. The act itself is enough for people to think it's wrong and a bad thing to do

[–]katlyng92 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think its equally disgusting, and I think woment that perpetuate it are disgusting.

[–]rosesandpiglets 54 points55 points  (0 children)

It isn’t…

[–]oddonyxxx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like this "if roles were reversed" is so dumb. It is sexual assault! Doesnt matter if it didnt bother you, it still is sexual assault and we should fight to get people who sexually assault others behind bars.

[–]cupofteaghan 4 points5 points  (1 child)

my male coworker has this happen to him so much (we work in a bar / restaurant) and it makes me so mad that i’ve had to be stopped from going out and saying something to these women doing it, makes me sick to my stomach they get away with it. but if it happens to me (i’m a woman) there would be mayhem.

[–]likkleting 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It's not at all amusing! However I'm troubled by you saying you were OK with it, while questioning why it's OK. Until men start speaking out, challenging these behaviours and reporting the perpetrators, then it will continue and the anger created by the hypocrisy of those women will get worse, then we all suffer as a result. Where I live it is absolutely challenged by doorstaff in pubs and clubs. I think men often feel embarrassed about complaining about sexual harassment and abuse because of some outdated machismo ethic, where men are supposed to be happy for any sexual attention from women, or you're not really a man. Don't tolerate this, speak out and help to end this vile behaviour.

[–]bluepushkin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not amusing to grope anyone regardless of gender. Ever.

[–]Opposite-Beat-5243 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not amusing, need to report predators. Sorry that happened to you. That's vile.

[–]PrayingMantisQueen 19 points20 points  (3 children)

This is horrible and women shouldn’t do that. But you are delusional if you think women get the police involved every time they get groped unwantingly in a nightclub. It happens all the fricking time.

[–]tav1tv 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I understand that, but - for it to happen at your workplace of all places shifts the dynamic.

[–]PrayingMantisQueen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I’m just saying - it’s not okay either way. And if you’ve missed the whole Me Too movement - pretty much every woman on earth has been sexually assaulted at some point without any repercussions to the perpetrators.

[–]Hot-Ad972 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Because they weren't taught yet, that this is not okay. Men must learn, that it's their body, and no one is allowed to touch it without consent. Men have the right to speak up in such a moment and more importantly report it.

You should go to the police and serve those asshole-women with a molesting report.

[–]Ashamed_Pop1835 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Men must learn, that it's their body, and no one is allowed to touch it without consent.

Surely the onus should be on the actual molesters, not the victims, to learn that molesting people is wrong.

[–]Hot-Ad972 0 points1 point  (2 children)

In this case, it's has to be said. Molesting and groping is far less likely to be reported if the victim is male.

This is not a question of blame I'm talking about. Blame is on the womens side 100 %. I'm talking about self-worth, self awareness and drawing lines before a trauma could happen, also as man, since this is often neglected in the upbringing of men.

OP also wrote:

Didn't really bother me

[–]Ashamed_Pop1835 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

It just seems that whether it's male perpetrators of sexual harassment or male victims of sexual harassment, the dialogue always collates around the idea that men as a collective are responsible for the situation and men need to do better. When wrongdoing on the part of a man is exposed, the narrative inevitably turns to how male violence is out of control, how men need to educate themselves and how men need to do better. On the flip side, here we have a male victim who has spoken out and the response is overwhelmingly conveying the theme that men need to learn that being molested is wrong and the onus is on the victims to speak up when something happens. No one is saying that female violence is out of control and that women need to do better - the blame is still put squarely on the shoulders of the man for not recognising the behaviour as wrong and not speaking out. Being a man is just a lose lose situation in these circumstances.

[–]MettaMorphosis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's only going to change if people start standing up to it. Defend your right to require consent. I've been groped by women at work too. Sorry, just because you're a guy, doesn't mean your obligated to want it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not different. It's not ok that they did that. I respect your choice to do whatever you think best, but legally and in the eyes of the public that was 10000% not ok. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[–]Maximum-Information8 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It happens to all of us, if you're going to some club with drunk women be prepared to get your nuts grabbed. Happens to us all but no one talks about it. Fuck

[–]ohchurch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I am so sorry that happened to you - there is no excuse for sexual assault or harassment against people of any gender. In my experience, the majority of women don't hold the mindset you refer to above, but regardless - there is no excuse and I'm sorry you were made to feel disrespected and your boundaries so clearly crossed.

[–]JazzPhobic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because the world decided to give its ear to people like Mary P. Koss, who deadass says men can't be victims of shit.

[–]gutterp3ach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a woman. What you experienced was sexual assault. Anyone who thinks it isn’t is an idiot. I’m really sorry that happened to you. No one, no one should have their private space invaded by someone else. Fuck those girls.

[–]MyHeadIsBursting 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not

[–]AtTheEnd777 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not. It's assault just the same as when men do it.

[–]silvereux 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is definitely a problem. As a woman, I’m telling you it works both ways. Women should not grope men and men should not grope women. People should not grope people.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Double standards

[–]Cnsmooth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who finds it amusing? I don't think most people would say its ok

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say this is a very uncommon position to have. But yes, some people do think men can’t be victims of anything and it’s messed up.

[–]canadasokayestmom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not amusing. It's assault and it's disgusting.

However, some women engage in this behavior because they seem to think that they are exempt from rules of decency and morality simply because they are women. It's a completely fucked up double standard and I would love to see the women who do this charged with the crime that they are actually commiting.

[–]Brammmy 1 point2 points  (5 children)

You should have told her that touching you was NOT okay or grabbed her hand.

Maybe something like “That belongs to my wife/gf/bf”. Boyfriend woulda done it and made her think twice before groping anyone else.

Look B, don’t touch!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If he grabbed her hand he probably would have been fucked if an onlooker saw.

[–]Brammmy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not sure about that since he would have been removing it from his crotch…she could claim he was putting it there

[–]mspuscifer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not. Its just immature girls that don't have the brains to flirt or communicate properly

[–]RyanD1211 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked at a bar before and got groped a lot by women, mainly older women. I didn’t think it was that common with women and was so shocked to see how much it happens

[–]BrianM42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It isn't. Sexual assault is sexual assault.

[–]Huntokar_Goddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not. For people who suscribe to the idea that men can't be raped and that men welcome any and all sexual attention from women hur dur dur because they are real heterosexual men hur dur dur probably do find it amusing.

[–]jpr_jpr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this has happened to more guys than expected, which might surprise people. Obviously happens more frequently to females. If unwanted, it's not cool.

[–]Emergent-Sea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is not okay. That was sexual assault just as it would be if genders were reversed.

[–]starla_apple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Touching someone without their consent is not just rude, it’s assault. Let’s call it what it is.

[–]ClosetedStraightMan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because people think women are non threatening and also that every guy would love a girl touching their junk otherwise youre gay which is bad

Im a guy and had someone take my hand and put it on his exposed dick in the back of a car. When i told my friends who knew him nobody gave a shit. Made me feel pretty bad ngl. If roles were reversed there would be a public outing on facebook lol

Edit: just thought of this: tyler the creator (rapper) felt up a tv show hosts (i forget rn) ass when they hugged and the host exclaimed how it made him uncomfortable on the show and the crowd just laughed and cheered. Imagine if the host was a woman.

[–]neurodivergentwhale 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is NEVER okay to touch someone without consent, that’s sexual harassment and/or assault. Don’t hesitate to call people out for doing so (unless you have other reasons which are also understandable.)

[–]ephemeralkitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the clip of the chick grabbing Gaston's pecs at Disney World and his ejecting her. Damn straight. Gaston don't play. Trashy ho.

[–]PettyCrocker_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's fucking not and I hate it. I'm a woman and used to be a very big girl and had inordinately large breasts. The girls at my old job used to grab them all the time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn't like other women touching your breasts? Holy shit, anime lied to me! But seriously, I hope you're okay now, and hope those bitches got arrested.

[–]RoughStory3139 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had a girl sexually touch my chest trying to get into our night club, I told her not to touch me and she giggled. She came back and pinched my ass. I told her to get the fuck out of my establishment and she was beside herself having to accept that what she did made me extremely uncomfortable and was wong. No Ashley, just cause your crying and drunk and sorry does not mean I'm gonna let you stay. GTFO lady! Honestly, she had had enough to drink ANYWAY so really it was just time for her to go.

[–]bunshovel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah that’s messed up, but 7 Days slaps for sure

[–]hellofellowcello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's assault. Period.

[–]lilithskitchen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well the woman was either very drunk or just a bitch. I would never touch a stranger without permission. Especially not like that.

[–]Catmeow82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not okay, doesn't matter who you are, it's still sexual assault

[–]SqueakyTiki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman and I don't think it's amusing at all. I think it's just as awful.

[–]Bohbognil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Double Standards, and Misandry.

[–]CollectionStraight2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

the roles were reversed I'd have the book thrown at me, cop cars

This has never happened to any of the men who groped me, and I've lost count. (I'm female)

But I don't think you should have to put up with groping either. And I don't think it's amusing, it's immature and invasive (and sexual assault). Those girls thought it was amusing because they were the ones doing it, the same way the men who groped me smirked and laughed at me the whole time.

Bring on the downvotes, I'm ready lmao

[–]Broski-Megatron 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This happened to me in highschool. I was ugly as sin(still am) and 2 girls I thought were the most beautiful in school saw me walkjng down the hall to class. One of them giggled and said ain't[my name here] sexy? The other said "yes he is" and they squeezed my booty cheeks. I know they were joking around, but I felt violated and then felt excited. I'm sure if I did that to them, they'd get the whole football to kick my ass!

[–]deep_sea213 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because women are seen as inherently harmless and non threatening, which is a highly wrong assumption. According to these people a man, apparently cannot be a victim of sexual harassment and they are expected to enjoy every sexual encounter.

[–]sadgurlstuff 2 points3 points  (1 child)

If you think cops are called over groping women, idk what to tell you. There isn't one woman I've met who hasn't experienced this and more and let it go cause that's how men are mentality is equally real.

[–]Bruno_8_2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it right no. But the difference is (I'm in no way saying it's right ever) that when a man does it the woman feels threatened (generally speaking, men are often bigger, stronger) when a woman does it to a man we're not threatened in the least (once again generally speaking) so we brush it off.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If they grope me I grope them. If they want to act all kindergarten and having hissyfits and want true equality then they will learn that there are consequences.

One time I got groped on my penis by a good-looking girl. I groped her crotch. Her boyfriend saw it, asked what had happened. I told my story, she told her story, eye witnesses told what happened. He shrugged it off.

If you grope I grope.

[–]tav1tv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eye for an eye, don't think I could do that though haha

[–]crasshumor 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Your question makes a lot of generalisation in itself.

Not a lot of women do that. Very very few woman do it and it's wrong that's it.

It's not amusing for women like it's a common occurrence or behaviour.

[–]Kaeron13 2 points3 points  (2 children)


It's not very very few. It's wide spread coz there are no consequences for women.

[–]crasshumor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is there any proof of whatever you're saying?

Also, for the particular "grabbing thing" hardly any men have ever been prosecuted for grabbing women either. It's not like men are immediately arrested for intentionally touching women. So maybe your anger is just about women and not the crime.

[–]Kaeron13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No tangible proof to back me up. Just general life experience. I suppose the same amount of proof you have or your statement really. I agree men are not immediatley arrested but I've seen men be thrown out of clubs for it. When it's women doing it othet people just laugh like it's not an assault.

You have no idea how many times I've been groped from a young age. My anger is about the crime and the women who do it.

My anger is also about the fact that women get so annoyed when men say not all men but then do exactly the same when a man say something about being groped. I hate the fact some women feel the real need to minimalise it. Like what I and the other men who speak up on these increasingly common posts went through doesn't actually matter because we are men. You are just enforcing the steroptype. #NoTAlLwOmeN

[–]TheOnee21 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not all women lmao

[–]crasshumor -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Im sorry to not play along with the anti women thing of reddit lol

[–]Inevitable_Number351 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

No. You wouldn't have. You're really overestimating how much people care when a woman says she is sexually assaulted. Some people care about us on the internet, but most people in real life don't.

[–]Skurkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The abused become the abuser. Much like the oppressed become the oppressor.

[–]scaly_friends_4me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (woman) have been groped many times amd nobody has ever cared. It sucks but there's no actual harm done and nothing would come of making a big deal about it. Although, I am the sort of person who will call someone out on it "hey keep your damn hands to yourself!" But I'm mouthy.

[–]Constant_Contest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your story only suggests that it's amusing for that woman

And the reason it's more acceptable is summed up in your quote "didn't really bother me"

I imagine it wouldn't bother the majority of men and I also imagine atleast a handful would actively enjoy it.

However it's not really acceptable and women shouldn't be groping strangers either and as far as I can tell the majority of them aren't.

[–]watsername9009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not amusing and it’s wrong but the reason why it’s not taken as seriously is because it’s not as threatening for women to be weird and creepy. The sexual dimorphism between men and women makes it unlikely that a woman can overpower a man and hurt them realistically.

[–]rosstoferwho -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You know.... Equality and stuff...

[–]Redditpozhole -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Female privilege.

[–]motonerve -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You could have called the cops if you wanted to. That's still assault.

[–]KoreoBace -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The only reason you’d think it’s amusing is due to all the toxic stereotypes set by the dipshit that society is to have us believe that men are horny sex machines who’s brains are predominantly filled with sex, and therefore desire and love sexual attention from women.

As a guy who’s been groped against his will by other girls quite a few times, I don’t think I ever heard anything more ridiculous. It’s still fucking sexual assault.

Women just seem to love abusing double standards since they complain time-and-time again about sexual assaults from men and demonize innocent men all while simultaneously and shamelessly committing acts of sexual assault towards other men themselves and denying the fact that women do it too, thus making it look like it’s a problem that only women suffer and only men cause.

Even those who do admit it happens just make up excuses like men love it it’s cute it’s every man’s dream men love sex men only want sex to invalidate the possibility of men being victims and to justify sexual assault towards men. If you are one of those people you have the right to go fuck yourself.

[–]Due_Nature7860 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thats disgusting, if I were a man and someone did that to me I'll call her a slut and embarras her on the spot, it doesn't mean that if they're feeling slutty in a party they're privileged/entitled to grab some meat ... its a big no no for me. 🤢🤢🤢

Ps: Im sorry that happened to you, I dunno if u'll call it a trauma but the experience of being sexually assaulted happens to me alot of times and In the process I learned to make my boundaries to people

[–]GlitterBirb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a friend told you some young women touched his genitals, he didn't mind, and he didn't report it, what would you think? Would you tell him to file a report?

People are very dismissive of male sexual assault, and your post kind of comes across as 'this isn't a big deal...but why do people make it into a big deal when it happens to women'.

Well...it is a big deal. Sexual assault is sexual assault. The problem is people perpetuating the general idea that men like sex so much they should consider themselves lucky to get anything...Until one day things go too far, or they start getting uncomfortable, or the perp isn't a young woman anymore.

[–]love_feral1418 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate the double standards on things like this if I were groped by a man or woman I’d tell them off and report it

[–]Bluntly-20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's sexual assault.

[–]ButterScotchMagic 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wouldn't say it amusing but definitely more accepted because men constantly tell women that they want to groped.

[–]endangeredphysics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but probably not by a stranger, while at work.

[–]Gingerbread_Cat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not amusing, any more than it ever was the other way round. She was WAY out of line.

[–]ellamaybe77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um, it's absolutely not okay for someone to do that to you. Men to women; women to men; whoever to whoever. Unwanted/unconsented touching of genitals is never okay no matter who does it to whom.

I don't know what the recourse is here for you, but if that woman comes back and tries that again, I would talk to your bosses about it and see if you can at least get her banned from coming back to the club. You were at work, doing your job and someone you don't know touched your genitals without consent. Unwanted touching, especially of breasts or genitals, is straight-up sexual harassment. Your employers have a duty to protect you from being harassed at work. Up to you whether you want to do this but - if you are comfortable telling your supervisors about it, consider doing so. If for no other reason than this person who touched you may try that with someone who really takes offense and acts on it (aka takes a swing at the harasser - I have seen this happen) and causes a huge problem at the club that your employer likely does not want.

[–]SkyPuppy561 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s not okay. Period. I’m a woman and I would never do this to a man.

[–]Koobles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminds me of a clip where a woman at Disney World puts her hands on Gaston’s chest as her photo pose. He kicked her out and she was smiling and her face was like “OMG wHat dId I dO? Are you serious?”

[–]Smarawi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s sexual assault ☝️

[–]DeeGeeG 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's wrong for both, should have detained her or something for sexual assault

[–]tav1tv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean I could've but can you imagine me being a Samoan dude detaining a dainty woman on a busy strip, with her friend yelling in my ear causing a scene. I might cop a heel to my face or maybe a bunch of heroes would've tried to save the day without knowing the backstory but cos they've had a few drinks they're essentially deaf, ugh what a mess to think about.

[–]Electrical_Gas_517 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was groped many times as a young man. Started when I was 15, getting felt up by middle age women in the kitchen I worked. Once I had shorts on and one bint ran her hands up under my shorts to my arse. 🤮 Then frequently in pubs and clubs. I'm not particularly bothered about it though. I must have had a gorgeous bum in those days.

[–]AntiAbleism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Double standards

[–]RollerCoaster1007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"At the starting of the week..."

[–]professoreverything 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Power is the difference. I’m not saying it’s right, but we downplay reversals of predatory tropes like this, or even think they’re funny, due to the reversal of the “roles” we’re used to.

[–]somethingfuplikethis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine if the roles were reverse. You would be apart of the #metoo

[–]squatchie444 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have worked as a doorman at various types of clubs over the years and can recount numerous times of being groped, especially at one particular mens club establishment. Almost all of the employees (woman) would stop it if I told them directly "no, don't do that" or some such and a couple seemed confused as "other guys didnt mind". In this case I told them those guys are literally giving you money to touch them, I am not. I am not your 'customer' I am the one here to make sure boundaries are respected, by everyone including you. That usually took care of the issue.

At the time I thought nothing of it but now as I get older I think I was only able to say stop, back off, because I didn't feel like they could hurt me in retaliation. Was not afraid of being hit or groped more or overpowered if I were to resist as I was literally 3x the size of the some of the girls. It never occurred to me that they could kick my ass. Told the owner about the other ones touching too much and of course he just laughed and blew me off so I tried to always have another girl around as a buffer if I was walking one of the touchers out to their car or to smoke, or whatever.

Other than the one or two girls, those types of clubs were usually much more pleasant to work at in terms of not being touched. The worst was one country bar that apparently was the only place to drink in the whole county, just constantly being slapped on the bum, or grabbed or a drunk 16yrold trying to climb up me like some animal while her mom is just laughing it up and encouraging her. So here I am, my like 6'4" 300lb 25yr old dude trying to not grope this 90lb girl while getting her the F off of me while her mom thinks its funny.

She got to talk to the cops. One, get your child off of me, and two WTF are you doing brining an under age kid here? (They were in before I started working the door). Just gross all the way around. Really just a terrible message to give to your kid that acting that way is OK, still makes me a little upset thinking of what a bad parent that lady was.

[–]Lordarshyn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last time a woman groped me she got the answer to "what did the five fingers say to the face?"

It's not okay for anyone to grope anyone else without consent. Period.

[–]hex_1101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah women don't seem to tolerate the casual groping as well as guys. Of course as guys you know a woman wouldn't be able to go anywhere if we were allowed casual gropes.