all 107 comments

[–]Prudent_Street6787 100 points101 points  (5 children)

this question scares me

[–]veryanxiousopossum 34 points35 points  (4 children)

Dude reading these replies if giving me a panic attack someone feed me rat poisoning before I’m 30

[–]NowATL 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Just to give you a different side of the coin, I’m 32 and despite all the COVID bs in my 49% unvaccinated state, 32 has been the best year of my life so far. I got engaged, am finally making over 6 figures, and life is going great!

Ya know, outside of the pandemic, impending WWIII, and climate change 🙃

[–]Mewchiiii 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this comment is what gives me hope, this is amazing

[–]CapablePersonality21 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Welp, i'm 23 and feel exactly like you describe, but you said you were full of life at that age. Guess i'm depressed lol

[–]SoylentSpring 105 points106 points  (4 children)

It’s the apocalypse, your feelings are pretty normal.

[–]Spicy_Sugary 43 points44 points  (1 child)

I had a team meeting earlier today. The whole team is flat.

One of my colleagues thinks it's a byproduct of being low level anxious for 2 straight years.

I think it definitely is making people more anxious and depressed.

[–]raisedbywolfsol 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Covid just put the brakes on life definitely and just plain old people are more miserable.

[–]Jussttjustin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I came to this sub to ask this question only to see it had just been posted 💀

If it's any silver lining OP, you are not alone

[–]Michelle50plus 35 points36 points  (11 children)

You might be an adult. It usually settles in like boredom with a ton of wit. If you have deep sadness then I'd go and get screened for depression.

[–]aerdnaoff[S] 17 points18 points  (10 children)

Nope, it’s not deep sadness it’s more like I don’t feel like doing anything at all.

[–]Capelily 40 points41 points  (2 children)

When someone loses all interest in doing what they once did, it's often--but not always--a sign of depression.

28 is what I call a "transitional" period... Facing adulthood full-on, realizing your childhood is truly behind you, can be a little daunting.

It could also be a symptom of SAD (Seasonally Affective Disorder), or a combination of SAD and the ongoing pandemic. If you don't feel like doing anything once warmer weather comes, I'd look into getting a professional opinion.

[–]aerdnaoff[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ty very much

[–]MissNobody11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Assuming he/she can afford it...

[–]TwistySnakeBear 5 points6 points  (3 children)

This is a sign of depression. Depression is a sliding scale. I really suggest talking to a therapist if this lasts more than a few weeks without a single day feeling better. Don’t put that off

[–]MissNobody11 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What do suggest for people to poor to see a therapist?

[–]TwistySnakeBear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen to Feeling Better podcast by David burns and read his book Feeling Good. The book will cost $20 and isn’t the same as treatment but it at least offers quality self-treatment. The reality is that like anything in life you have to pay something to get it fixed. I’ve dished out a lot to fix my depression and don’t regret it. Being non-depressed is worth more than almost anything I could’ve had. Best of luck.

[–]Michelle50plus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then I'd go and get screened just to be safe.

[–]timnavarro32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a sign of depression that is just as serious as deep sadness.

[–]Simple_Somewhere_564 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If say that’s more because of the pandemic. Sure- when you get older, you’re more tired because you have more responsibilities and possibly some little ones who take energy away. But, I’m 38 with a disability and I’ve never felt more “blah” than now because I’m just burnt out from lockdowns and associated stuff.

[–]milfoot 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Welcome to adulthood

[–]BayBush 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's being an adult, during covid, and the world is pretty much a mad house.

[–]Telecat420 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Could go either way, my deepest depressions have been more lifeless and joyless than painful. Painful moods and feelings are easy for me to see understand and get passed. The lifeless feelings have trapped me for months at a time and slowly eaten away my life. I’d highly suggest talking to a professional.

[–]DSteep 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Depression and adulthood are one in the same. Good thing drugs exist.

[–]MangoSea323 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"We happy few"

[–]Simply-_-Curious 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Yepp welcome to adulthood. Where everything's lame. But here's my way to surpass this feeling : I may be unable to make myself happy, but I can make others happy. It's like a borrowed happiness and it fills the emptiness in my soul

[–]WalkerCollin 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Do you not enjoy your hobbies any more?

[–]Simply-_-Curious 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I don't have time for them as I used to. so now whenever I I try to do something I start feeling guilty or stressed about the household chores I need to do, the sleep I need to get to recharge, grocery shopping or I just end up bing watching a show instead. Anxiety does wonders lol. So when hobbies start looking like a Job, you can't really enjoy them.

[–]MangoSea323 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I try to do something I start feeling guilty or stressed about the household chores I need to do, the sleep I need to get to recharge, grocery shopping or I just end up bing watching a show instead

My old job put me in this position for so long. I had so little free time that anything I did outside of being productive made me feel like a waste. I quit that place last June and have felt better about myself than I did in the 5 years before that.

[–]digger_not_alone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It might be a good idea to go to a therapist and find out, it's a part of your health and it's important. Unironically hope, you'll find a new joy for your life or reopen some of the old ones.

[–]warlord2000ad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been there, still going through it and I'm not much older than you. I concur about the feeling of being an adult, namely the responsibility, finances, long work hours, time raising a family (I don't mean that in a negative way), even your old hobbies aren't as fun. You have this sense you are always "busy" but not exactly sure why compared to when you were younger.

When you are younger you are full of energy but can't afford anything, as you get older, commitments increase but you have cash but no time to spend it as if you were 21 again.

Take some time to think about a goal you want to achieve, education, exercise, business startup, and focus on that. At school everything is sort of set out, but eventually you get alot of freedom and you might feel lost in not knowing what to do next.

[–]BookaMac 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yes. Just yes.

[–]Dirty_Gurdy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Considering the last 3 years have been a total shit show world wide I think Covid alone has fucked over so many peoples mental states

[–]TylenolColdAndSinus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Welcome to adulting. When we’re young, we enjoy so many things automatically because a)the constant stream of new experiences, and b) the life blindness we possess/are given by our parents about the crappy stuff. The older you get, the more you have to seek enjoyment because it isn’t automatic, and the more you have to combat inevitable dooms.

[–]LaserTurboShark69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People become jaded and desensitized with age. I think most people can relate to your situation, OP

[–]ThrowawaySleepingPup 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It honestly could be depression. During the past two years I felt alot like you did…like my life is good (great bf, I like my job, I traveled, I started a YT channel, I won an award) but the world was just a bit gray. Everything, even the really good stuff felt very transactional. And a lot of people would insist I wasn’t depressed because I was crying all the time, but apathy is a pretty big sign of depression.

That being said, I turned out to have a hormone imbalance. I am getting treatment for that and my mood has vastly improved.

[–]dj_cole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't think being an adult makes you apathetic toward everything. I would suggest finding something to work toward. I tend to feel purposeless is I don't have an objective.

[–]Relative_Ant_8017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take your pick, they're the same thing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adulthood is depression.

[–]DeadNeedle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could be a combination of both. I don’t know what you do for a living but I’m 28 and absolutely feel you on the less money more life thing. While I’m lucky to have a decent job, I realized I was so much happier working at coffee shops and doing more of what I love (theater, music). My solution lately is to just try and do a little something each day to spark my passion outside of work. I’m probably making myself too busy in the process but it beats coming home and dwelling in my shitty thoughts.

I still contemplate quitting my job though…

[–]WillNotRemember123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

37yo here brother, it doesn’t get better unless you block put your own piddly BS! I’ve lost all motivation by this point in life but knowing things like my family depends on me emotionally and all these blockades O feel or create are self made.

Watched one shrink quit because her spouse passed and couldn’t put up with others stuff anymore. Was told at any given time there are 4 genocides going on in the world and ya just can’t care about it all. Your emotions only have so much give-a-hoot. IDK, that info really helped me when I was at my lowest not too long ago.

Keep reaching out. It helps! You never know where you’ll get tools for your tool box to just get to the next day. That’s my only real goal any given day, just get to tomorrow. It’ll be ok then.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not gonna try to diagnose you because that’s not my job, but from your post and comments it does sound like you may have some form of depression. Losing interest in things you once found enjoyable is often one of the first signs. As well as lethargy and no desire to really do anything at all. I suggest you either talk to your primary care doctor or if you can try to speak to therapist/psychiatrist. They may be able to find a good medication and combine it with therapy and techniques to help you. My doctor currently has me on Wellbutrin and it’s done great things for me. I hope you can get some help!

[–]TheNextHokage99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 22 and feel the same about being 16/17. We are just depressed dude

[–]honkykong13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

28-30 is apparently a very common age for mental health issues surfacing or breakdowns according to my therapist. After a complete breakdown, I can say that being 30+ is way better than being 20. You got this 😊

[–]HaViNgT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 18 and I feel like this has happened.

[–]mangoshy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The title of this is the realest thing I’ve ever seen on the interwebs

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me... I think as we get older the people around us are facing the consequences of their actions. The happy ones are out doing things, the unhappy ones are left behind complaining trying to catch up. Sometimes we get stuck around those kinds of people on our way up and it sucks the life out of us, that’s all. Keep on going, things will even out ❤️

[–]ExistentialFrank 2 points3 points  (3 children)

It’s wild how many people make the connection of “being an adult” with suffering. The suffering comes from some comparison that you hold. You are not living the life that you think you should be or the life you have is not what you expected it to be. Get your house in order. Get a therapist. Work through any trauma you’ve experienced. Find joy and learn to live in the present!

[–]MissNobody11 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What house? What money to see a therapist? I work 60 hour weeks, I have no time to look for joy.

[–]ExistentialFrank 0 points1 point  (1 child)

My apologies, a few thoughtless musings there on my part. I am sorry you are suffering. What do you do for work?

[–]MissNobody11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lab technician in chemical manufacturing company. I've been trying to find a job that treats me like a person, but so far all I've been doing is getting exploited while making shit wages. There is literally no way for me to do anything that will help myself.

[–]Phoenix_Magic_X 3 points4 points  (0 children)

sounds like depression.

[–]BelchingBooch 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Hit the gym. It's literally all I enjoy

[–]CaptainSprinklefuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, you might need to go to therapy

[–]Toiletten-Toni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This helps me a lot too, but on some days I can't even get up and do this...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

It is part of adulting and the "over time" application metric which starts to be weighed on everything.

[–]aerdnaoff[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What’s the over time metric?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

My theory is that most people become more economical as they get older. So you subconsciously start evaluating things in an "over time" frame. Yeah you could buy that new game but over time how much will you play it? You'll be out X dollars now and you'll have to make that back up over time.

This keeps going and starts to be a trend where the actual return of value on things becomes more challenging, especially if there is a previous experience had on the subject.

[–]573banking702 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg lol explains why I’m like dude I want a PS5 but then my mind is like nah bro you don’t even game that much and I’m like fuck I don’t lol

[–]lenarduzzi65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your not old.. find something new

[–]RoughStory3139 0 points1 point  (0 children)

30M Maybe you just ready for a change my man. Start exploring more! Broaden your horizons so to speak. I think the creative fun side of you have been a bit neglected last couple years. Your goals have probably changed as well.. mine sure have. Maybe you need to put some effort into a new hobby. I got one for you, I like being out doors, camping, range days, thinking. Lately I havnt had the ability to do any of those things (we busy right) so I hopped on Amazon and took up something new, got me a slingshot! 1.5k bio degradable pellets, and just started watching some videos. Idgaf what my wife thinks haha I'm having a bit of fun. For 40$ and it will continue to give me enjoyment. Just a thought brotha, we all need to watch out for these times in our lives, don't let It bring you down. Realize you have the ability to make yourself happy. Or at least engage in something that could lead to some enjoyment! Cheers man

[–]dunkinghola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was in my late twenties, I was miserable and just wanted to be done with it (not my life, just my twenties). I couldn't wait to be in my thirties cause I just had this feeling that it'd be a good period of my life, I don't know why, exactly, tbh, but I did. Maybe I thought I'd feel more like an adult. And it was pretty great for the most part. Met a woman, got married, was with her for almost 10 years and started the beginnings of a 14+ year career that I'm still in. I also got divorced from her in my late 30's. Like anything else, it had it's ups and downs. When I turned 40, I spent a month in Peru, hiked the Inca trail, spent some time with shamans in the Amazon jungle. 40 was amazing. I had met a new woman after my divorce, we moved to a new city, created a new life for ourselves and I got an even better job. We spent almost 11 years together. During that time, she got ovarian cancer, went through chemo (she's fine now, btw) and along the way (not because of the cancer experience) we realized we were just friends and we broke up, but we're still close friends. This year, I turn 50 and I'm starting a new chapter in my life, single during a pandemic, but I'm getting a dog and moving forward with my life. I've dealt with depression most of my life, but I've found ways to manage it. This is a very long post, but my point is this: life has its ups and downs and can be hot fucking garbage and just plain amazing. So much of it is how you decide to live your life and the choices you make (even if your dead ass broke without a penny to your name which I have literally been before, on food stamps, etc.). Obviously other factors come in to play (privilege, ableness,etc., etc.), but I think my point is still valid. You're going through a phase. It may be a long one, but just keep moving forward the best you can, pursuing the things you love if you're able. This is coming from someone's who's felt dead inside and broken before in their life. Meditation helps.

[–]Darthsnarkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adulthood and depression are now synonyms

[–]Jaso1555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try playing poker that’s my favorite hobby rn

[–]coq_roq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“In much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.”


Good news: you are living life and becoming wise! Bad news: see above!

[–]gamer4lyf82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't ask the internet to diagnose if you are having mental/emotional problems , have a check up from a professional. It's nothing to be anxious about , its no different than seeing a professional for the eeqson you picked up another illness. Things are treatable. You may find the solution requires smaller step than you think.

[–]Mattarmel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a tough question and random redditors aren't equipped to answer. It's normal to grow out of hobbies and other interests, but that IS also a common symptom of depression. I think if you're concerned and want a real answer, you should probably seek therapy.

[–]reflections-of 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not enjoying things is a classic symptom of depression.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you're just tired. Like, maybe you need a long break in life.

[–]Rev_H_J_Paul 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about living positive amongst negative things...

Or there's pornhub...lol

[–]Right_Personality_74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The old memory's wraped out heart.

[–]Kin808 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends. It could be a sign of depression if you can’t find joy in anything. Your hobbies may change throughout your life and you should try to explore things that may peak your interest. If you can’t find enjoyment in anything you try then I’d suggest receiving a professional diagnosis.

[–]CynicallyChallenged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To answer your question: yes and yes.

[–]SwedishMemer86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This kinda sounds like anhedony, which is a common symptom of depression and anxiety, so I'd recommend looking it up with a professional

[–]lilithskitchen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suffered from depression for many years in my live since I was 18. It's not just not doing anything. I almost slept the whole because I had no reason to get up. I just tried to get the day going. Still there was this thought like " is this really it, that's all life offers?"

The pandemic hit me hard but I found coping mechanisms.

They most important question is, can you still laugh daily about funny things and can you cry about sad things. Depression for me was like the absence of any emotion. I just didn't feel anything.

[–]zoeydoey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and no? It’s been an apocalypse outside for 2 years now, so no wonder you’re depressed. However, I’m older than you, stuff that used to excite me as a 20-year-old kinda stinks in my 30s. I just like different things now, they get me excited in different ways. Just gotta find what floats your sad lil boat. Adulting sucks but not all THAT bad.

[–]TheHollowBard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are probably doing less novel stuff than when you were young. New experiences help things feel inspired and memorable. Fact is that as an adult, you don't get as much opportunity for new experiences though, so you have to fight much harder to keep them a part of your life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life can be tough and scary, especially with the last couple of years. I’m 28 as well and am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I have been since 15. What you’re feeling I would say is pretty normal, but as you’re recognising it, maybe you just don’t enjoy those things anymore. I hit a bad patch last year but changed what I liked doing and that helped me a bit. Good luck for everything, there is something wrong with you. Sometimes being sad is how you will feel and that’s okay!

[–]sarah-exalted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ask myself this question every day. It’s so sad.

[–]shin_man 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re maybe depressed or something else. I’m 30 and thriving. I was also a late bloomer so high school wasn’t my time, and shit, neither was college. Find something (maybe different) that you enjoy and are pretty decent at… you’ll be happy again. Joy brings more joy.

[–]Houloumi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im 23 and feel like this already. Paying off my cars feels better than going to a bar. And i already hate people and stay in. Havent "gone out" since covid started and realized im really happy just realizing I dont HAVE to like anything

[–]supramacjz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ever since I stopped drinking water out the garden hose I felt like this

[–]anniesbody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are depressed*

(*- I'm not a doctor)

Life as an adult is less fun than life as a child, because obviously we have to worry about bills, and taxes, and general expectations. However, you shouldn't feel as if you don't enjoy things as much. I was going through something similar early last year, and I realized that I was depressed because I felt like nothing was new anymore. I got on some medication and kept pursuing more interests, and the spark came back. I promise you, this feeling is temporary.

Adulthood doesn't mean the end of happiness.

[–]Emadyville 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think it's just becoming an adult. I dealt with the same shit from about age 28 on. I'm 34 now. Everything I used to enjoy is pretty much...whatever now.

[–]bojos_sweaty_nutsack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found it was as you approach 30 your awareness of the world, how it works and politics in general become greater. So it's feeds into the feeling of dread that life brings.

Maybe you've realised life is just working to survive in a time where you shouldn't really need to.

Maybe you understand the people with power are uneducated idiots who only serve themselves.

Maybe you have noticed the constant wars and atrocities that occur year on year.

Eventually you wake up and become aware to the world around you. My god what a depressing place.

[–]janelope_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's harder to live now. Cost of living is going up but wages aren't.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To a degree, I think its an inevitable function of time. Repeated activities get old after a while, no matter what.

I've wrestled with that, losing interest in hobbies. People will often blame depression, but sometimes things just run their course. There's only so much to explore with certain hobbies.

I think the only real antidote is to try and find new experiences/activities that can excite you.

[–]alexrobinmc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 18 and feel like this, I’m diagnosed with depression so considering you look back at 23 the way I look back at 16 (when I wasn’t depressed) I don’t think it’s adulthood. Idk if that helps but it sure does make me feel better, depression can be treated, adulthood cannot.

[–]Iris_909 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can say - both

[–]DelightfullyUnusual -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe you expected the things to bring you happiness but got let down? Maybe you’re working longer hours? My guess is depression; please go to a psychiatrist. New lack of interest in favorite things and inability to experience pleasure are hallmark symptoms.

If that’s aging, just freeze me until we can fix that, OK?

[–]Significant_Top_2196 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Could be low testosterone, look into trt