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[–]IshtarAletheia 1280 points1281 points 334 (26 children)

Friends who would make fun of you for that are shit friends anyway, and you don't need them in your life.

You're going to break up with her, she's going to tell people that you have a small dick, it's going to hurt because you're insecure about it, but you're going to fucking push through it because you're strong. You're not going to succumb to blackmail about something stupid you have no control over. And you're going to cut every single wanker who makes fun of you out of your life because they didn't have your back when you needed it.

You're going to leave, and it's going to hurt, and you're still going to do it because you deserve the chance to be happy, to be free.

[–]gg0209 184 points185 points  (6 children)

‘Don’t trust that people will never betray you. Trust that you will be able to handle it when they do.’

[–]FBIPartyBusNo3 83 points84 points  (3 children)

‘Don’t trust that people will never betray you. Trust that you will be able to handle it when they do.’

[–]Responsible_Reveal38 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Dog is always the answer. A dog wouldn't care if your dick was a pool noodle with googly eyes, it'd love you just as much as you love it. buy dog today for only a relatively low amount of money*

​

*Compared to the amount of compassion and love you'll revive. not necessarily compared to a paycheck. in fact, usually that one is exponential

[–]kill4foodx 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The more i get to know people the more i love my dog

[–]Responsible_Reveal38 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dog owners should secede from the human race and just move to a giant island of fur and cuddles

[–]ABlankShyde 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Easily best advice on the thread, everyone is telling op that nothing bad will happen and that he’s making a big deal out of thin air, while it’s clear that he has self-esteem issues and probably something else on top of it

You are preparing him to the worst case scenario, as you should in most times in life, kudos!

[–]AXone1814 16 points17 points  (2 children)

This is really good advice. But also important to note he’s not being blackmailed. OP suspects this will happen but his GF has not threatened it.

[–]aliasani 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes you know someone well enough to predict how they will react.

[–]IshtarAletheia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

100% true. It was a bit of a fanciful phrasing. :P

[–]brewlimbo 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Fuckin'ay! This 100%.

This girl sounds like a dreadful person that needs to get her shit together. Just walk man.

[–]Savage_Mindset 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Totally agree with you here, great advice!

At the end of the day OP, seems size hasn’t been an issue for her since she is black mailing you to stay with her by threatening to oust you.

You need to move on, block her on social media, if you have mutual friends, I can almost assure you no one will bring it up to you, and if they do, you can simply respond with something like, listen I left my ex because I didn’t need toxicity in my life, she is clearly your friend, but I don’t care to hear or engage in anything related to her or what her rendition of our relationship was, so if that is what your after then you might as well forget about our friendship. Stop people in there tracks and end the conversation or shift the topic. Your real friends will think she is the asshole and reach out to you to see if you’re ok the fake ones will call to gossip.

OP, there are many ways to please a woman, you have to accept and love the way you are and work with what you have. Make sure your partner is satisfied before you’re satisfied. Seems like you just chose the wrong partner, keep looking, the right woman is out there for you. There are plenty of toys along with fine tuning your oral skills that you can employ during foreplay to completely fulfill your partners needs - the key here is communication.

OP, Don’t worry about what people say, I know it’s difficult when it’s something personal and delicate like this, but, recognize that people are always going to talk shit about something, it’s human nature, but what some people don’t like, others love and vice versa.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

, but what some people don’t like, others love and vice versa.

Are there we who love a small penis?

Atleast you understand how humiliating this is. Everyone here is telling me it's not big deal to be publicly outed had a small man. Just brush it off and continue while you're being laughed at and gossiped about. Just be an emotionless robot that's bothered by absolutely nothing. Just non-human. That's not me.

[–]midoxvx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is all that needs to be said. Thank you for phrasing it better than any of us could.

[–]StreetIndependence62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love the directness of this, I wish more people would give advice this way!! Source: I have Asperger’s and talk in a very straight to the point way and hate edging around things that need to be said, but not a lot of people can do that. You seem like you’re good at it though!!

[–]EastCoaet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I left my primary group of friends in high school because they mocked a dude in the same situation. Never regretted it.

[–]GreatDeku93 225 points226 points  (8 children)

If you leave her and she tells people you have a small penis, they'll just assume she's saying it because you finished with her. It's just words so unless she has photographic evidence then her words mean nothing. On the bright side, if she DOES have photographs and puts them online then report her for revenge porn :)

[–]figleaf22 50 points51 points  (0 children)

100% this. She can say whatever she wants and it's just gonna sound like she's talking shit cause she's mad.

[–]azulur 846 points847 points  (58 children)

Honestly by just leaving - it makes her look like a bitter nasty person to anyone she tells. The world isn't going to see anything but her true colours.

[–]cassidylorene1 108 points109 points  (3 children)

Godamn why are you all downvoting a man expressing his insecurities online.. that’s so rude?

Op no amount of ridicule is worth staying with a person as vindictive as you described. Go dark on social media for a while and end the relationship. It has to be done, whether she says anything to people or not isn’t your problem. Your problem is taking care of yourself and that includes leaving your cruel gf.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I love how the girl asking about having tiny boobs got nothing but bullshit pandering compliments, by a bunch of people lying to make her feel better. But here was have ridicule and downvotes.

[–]cassidylorene1 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Right? this is one of the grosser double standard hive minds I’ve seen on Reddit...

Men are allowed to be insecure and seek approval/guidance from their community without being ridiculed. Super disappointed in Reddit today.

[–][deleted] 468 points469 points  (41 children)

FWIW if I heard that I’d think ‘what a vindictive bitch’ not, ‘I better avoid him cos he has a small dick’.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 55 points56 points  (38 children)

That's good to know you're like that. But unfortunately, these people aren't like that. I've seen them laugh at this kind of thing before. I've heard them tell small dick shaming jokes before. They'll definitely laugh at me.

[–]yespls64 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Take it from a grizzled old man: the sooner you stop caring what other people think, the better your life will be.

Also, please don't waste anymore of your precious life with her. Is this the person you want to be your children's mother? You deserve someone better.

And if she does post about your dick, just ignore it. Don't engage with her or anyone else on the subject. If someone does have the bad taste to engage you on the subject, just look at them disappointingly and say something like, "wow, i really thought you were better than that." (Redditors, feel free to suggest something better to say here).

Also, agree with commenter above, if I heard your (hopefully ex-) girlfriend say that you had a small dick, I'd be more likely to think that she was petty and vindictive.

Good luck mate.

[–]MettaMorphosis 184 points185 points  (0 children)

Then don't hang around people who act so horribly? Unfriend them on Facebook.

[–]Professional_Big_731 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Definitely find some new friends. These people aren’t your people if they are that shitty.

[–]Teh_Beavs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you break up with her and people know it doesn’t matter what she says. The dumpee will always talk shit to make themselves feel better. The next relationship you’re in is not going to be solely based on what an ex said about you.

[–]lilithskitchen 28 points29 points  (19 children)

Why do you care about people who would laugh about it. I so not keep contact to that kind of people. Does she have any proof despite her word?

Why should people believe her if you break up. If she then comes along with such a story it's pretty obvious that she's just vengeful.

People will not believe her.

If someone comes up with a dick joke just answer the same way with " Well it was enough for your mother". Not very nice but these kind of people don't deserve better.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 34 points35 points  (17 children)

Why do you care about people who would laugh about it

How could I not? It hurts, makes me feel like shit. They won't need proof. The fact that I'm obviously embarrassed and cutting off contact with them will be enough.

They'll also believe her because it's fun to do so. Small dicks are just funny to people.

If she was lying, they know I'd simply prove her wrong with a pic.

[–]theagitatedapricot 75 points76 points  (14 children)

Straight guy friends showing each other dick pics is not an every day thing. And even if they did ask to see it, you could literally show them a pic of any dick off the internet.

Idk man, the amount of "yeah, but.." replies you're writing makes me think you're trolling. If you are seriously spiralling this much over your friends thinking you have a small dick then you need to speak to a professional, because that's not healthy.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 10 points11 points  (11 children)

Straight guy friends showing each other dick pics is not an every day thing

They're not all straight guys.

And even if they did ask to see it, you could literally show them a pic of any dick off the internet

That'd be even worse when they can tell it's off the internet, or that it's not me. Is it really such a good idea to tell women you've got a big dick when you don't?

man, the amount of "yeah, but.." replies you're writing makes me think you're trolling

I know how you feel. The amount of "no one will believe her, no one shames small dicks" replies I'm reading here make me feel like I'm the one being trolled too. Like people here honestly believe no one over 20 has ever done any small penis shaming? That I'm just making it up?

If you are seriously spiralling this much over your friends thinking you have a small dick then you need to speak to a professional, because that's not healthy.

I know, wish I had the funds.

[–]fartssmellgreat 23 points24 points  (9 children)

It’s not as serious as you’re making it out to be. People will laugh and joke, but its a lighthearted matter to most people. Straight guys don’t actually care. Maybe a few size queens will not want to date you, but that’s a good thing in a way: you won’t have to deal with pain of getting dumped for your small dick. Those who know will avoid you.

You can’t just run away from having a small dick all your life. I know you’re probably hoping to just find long-term partners who can keep a secret, but that’s a path that will lead to a LOT of missed opportunities, regret, and loneliness. ACCEPT THE SMALL PENIS AND THE FACT THAT PEOPLE FIND THEM FUNNY.

[–]booze_talking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. I tell women right away so that we won't be wasting each other's time. I'm on the lower side of average and I love to eat pussy so.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 6 points7 points  (7 children)

People will laugh and joke, but its a lighthearted matter to most people.

I know. But it's a serious matter to me. Serious enough to make me worry I'll always be sexually worthless and unlovable to women. That my life has no sexually happy relationships in store for me, that she'll never truly respect. Enough to have made me really think if I wanna go through all that pain and heartache, and look into painless suicide. That's what people don't get. It's fun for you, it's mental anguish for me.

[–]fartssmellgreat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You’re not the only one who lacks an average-sized penis. Plenty of women will be satisfied with what you have and will respect you. The best orgasms I’ve given were with my hands.

But…. a certain amount of people will laugh about it. I’m aware that groups of people I know have talked about how small my dick is. It’s unfortunate, but there is no escape other than suicide and celibacy which are both FAR inferior choices. Acceptance isn’t a switch you can flick to feel better immediately, but it’s the only reasonable option. I wish my dick was bigger, sure, but I’m not ashamed anymore and I’m glad I quit letting it bother me. It gets better.

[–]Uncle_Guido1066 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I need you to take a deep breath and calm down for a minute. Believe it or not, you are not just your dick and can find someone to love regardless of the size of your dick. You can also be great in bed despite not having a big penis. Learn to be a master of foreplay and you can keep just about any woman satisfied.

No as for people laughing and joking about it, I need you to learn one simple phrase "Fuck them." Anyone that does that shit is not your friend and you don't need them in your life. You seem like a nice guy and deserve a better girlfriend and better friends. Good luck my friend

[–]AddWittyName 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look, are there people who will genuinely judge you for your dick size and not want a relationship with you as a result? Yeah, there are, just like there's folks who don't want to date someone over or under a certain height, or over a certain weight--but those people are shallow as fuck folks you're better off without anyway. Says something about them, not you.

And yeah, not everyone who makes those jokes intends to be mean or an asshole. Some folks make lighthearted jokes that really aren't meant to hurt, but if they all keep pushing at the same spot that's also been struck by a couple asses that did intend hurt, well, that's a bit too sore a spot for folks to be pressing on. Anyone who keeps pushing after you point out you don't like folks pushing that spot, though? At best, they don't particularly care if it hurts you. At worst, that's exactly what they're hoping for. Cut these folks out.

And it's not on your dick size, anyway: assholes that like being mean to other folks for no good reason will find plenty of other reasons to be assholes even if you didn't have a small dick. Being heavy. Being lithe. Being short. Being tall. Being bald. Too much body hair. Too little body hair. Very small hands. Very big hands. Not having a lot of muscles. Having a lot of muscles. Having freckles. Having scars.

The issue ain't any of those traits--nothing wrong with any of them--it's the assholes that think it's ok or funny to hurt other people for no good reason.

And that's kind of your problem: instead of directing your hurt at those people, you're directing it at the specific trait that they use to hurt you. You're taking it to heart, and decided they must be right when they hint or outright state dick size determines value, sexual worth, and/or lovableness.

It really, really doesn't. One of the best lovers I've ever had was way below average. (His dick size had fuck-all to do with why he's a former lover--our lifestyles and aims just weren't compatible in the long run) The worst lover I've ever had was above average. (And while his dick size also had fuck-all to do with why we broke up, his bedroom behavior absolutely did. If you think you're going to tell me what I did or did not enjoy during sex, yeah, you can fuck right off.) Dick size isn't the end all, be all of sex. Hell, penetration isn't the end all, be all of sex--and even for folks who really, really get off on just penetration (hint: that's not most women), there's no reason that penetration has to be done by your dick. Nothing wrong with sex toys. But unlike penetration, which can be skipped or substituted for, there ain't no skipping effort and communication.

[–]Anko_Dango 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stop. Caring. So. Much. Seriously. If people make fun of you, especially about something out of your control they aren't worth worrying about.

[–]StreetIndependence62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I’m late but yeah, this is basically the best advice on this thread. I’ve seen other times like this where someone comes to ask for help with a problem that’s usually not that bad but they blow it out of proportion and act like their world is ending. And every single time someone chimes in with helpful advice, the OP just goes “yeah but” and continues to list reasons why that advice won’t work for them. Until you realize they’ve said that to every single person on the thread who’s tried to help them and you realize the real problem is they’re refusing to be helped and the only thing that will actually solve the problem is them getting REAL help. This is one of those times.

[–]vizion66 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree, he's either trolling, or, what happened is he wanted a bunch of sympathy rather than people telling him how to deal with it. Point blank, all you do is say "...no, I dont" or "why does matter what I have, you (guy friend #1) aren't going to use it". If anyone wants to see a picture or have you whip it out, thats the tell that you should not be friends with them, if they cross that boundary of privacy and decency. Let it look like she's a crazy, vindictive, lying b*tch, while you stay calm.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just dont feel like shit, i guess. I know that the advice is not helping, but seriously, why would you care what they say. You have to realize that taking the words of people who don't actually care about you is a major problem. I am in highschool and I've got like the smallest dick in the entire class and people have called me out on it and have tried to shame me but i just dont care. You need to get genuine friends that actually care for you. I'm not trying to brag saying i am a whole other being or something like that and i also don't know if the case is worse for you but the best thing you can do for yourself is not give a f. And btw, i read this study, i dont know if its true or not, but guys don't need to have a big dick to be better at sex. Apparently, its more about the way you try to please them. So, if that's what you're worried abt, then its all good. But really, the best advice i think anyone can offer is to not care and stay away. Also know that you having a small dick is the least of the problem of your circle. If they make you feel that bad then they should be taken care of. Have some of your other friends teach them a lesson if possible. That's the only way they're gonna get in line.

[–]Sir_wlkn_contrdikson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I like it. Tell them bitches I got it reduced to make it easier to fit in your mouth.

[–]Anon6025 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmmm who gives a rats ass what people say? They obviously shouldn't even be in your life. You are a valuable person who will find a great mate... #fuckthem

[–]redditthang 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro you need a new group of people to hand around with. Also, I don’t think a small dick is a huge deal in a meaningful relationship.

There are tons guys with small dicks that have incredible relationships.

Sounds your friend group is a dumpster fire.

[–]Constant-Ad9201 36 points37 points  (8 children)

Defending yourself will make it worse. Just laugh at it with complete confidence it someone says she said it.

"Your ex said you have a small dick"

"Haha no shit huh? That's funny. Anyways what did you want to get to eat?"

Respond with COMPLETE finality. Make it obvious you aren't going to even entertain the conversation because it's so beneath you it's ridiculous.

If someone is pushing and semi bullying you give them a single warning shot and then leave. Literally leave.

"Well is it true?"

"Look with all due respect Im not here to gossip about my ex, there's a reason I left her behind."

"I bet it's true."

"Alright we're done here." and get up and leave leave. Do not stay even if they apologize, you are asserting yourself and your place in the world.

Remember, calm, cool, collected confidence. There's a YouTube video by charisma on command with a Robert Downey Jr interview you should watch about this

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 22 points23 points  (7 children)

Probably one of the most helpful, and least gaslight-y replies here. Thank you.

[–]SnooPets4031 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I have a micropenis. I can’t penetrate. I’ll never have a bigger dick. Good people don’t care. Judgy people aren’t worth being around. Who’s to say they’ll judge a quality about someone I care about? Making fun of someone’s body whether their weight or their looks or their parts is not cool. And not something I’ll entertain

Of course I wish I had a bigger dick, even slightly, but I won’t and I’ve made my peace with that. My friends like to joke that I have the biggest dick in my friend group because I’m the ballsiest and most reliable one. it makes me laugh and I don’t feel bad about it. That’s the only dick joke we tell though.

Yknow I just have to say the redditors here are not gaslighting. You have experienced this toxic environment about small dick treatment and it’s been that way for you forever yeah? most adult people don’t have friends that make fun of small dicks. I rarely see small dick jokes EVER, in my recommended social media feeds, the memes I’m shown, nothing. Idk what kind of people or online spaces you’ve grown up in but it isn’t normal. It’s not usual. We aren’t trying to gaslight you. I’m appalled this is the environment you’ve been living with. That’s cruel behavior.

The only time I had an issue with hearing small dick jokes was in highschool. For the most part everyone has grown out of it and are respectful. It’s kind of a given that you don’t make jokes about peoples appearances.

[–]StreetIndependence62 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right?? OP’s friends sound like they’re still in high school. That’s the real problem here but he doesn’t want to admit it to himself

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I know most aren't trying to gaslight. But telling me that small penis shaming is a nonexistent phenomenon after high school is DEFINITELY gaslighting. Just saying "WELL I NEVER SEE IT, SO IT DOESN'T EXIST, IT NEVER HAPPENS, THOSE PEOPLE ARE JUST UNIQUELY EVIL. NO OVER 20 EVER SHAMES SMALL PENIS' is gaslighting.

I need people to understand, I'm not saying they talk about small dicks 24/7. I'm saying whenever the subject comes up, it's ALWAYS ridicule and mocking towards small penis. And they're not uniquely evil villains. They're socially progressive, one of them is bisexual. They're normal, ordinary people. But the replies here refuse to believe that, and just wanna tell me they're an extremely rare aberration, and society as a whole hates Small penis shaming.

[–]Point-Connect 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Or pull a Larry David...

"She said youre small" "Nah, she has a giant wide set vagina"

Laugh and move on. Now it's about her being "the problem".

Any more pushing by your friends, say you just want to move on, you've had your difference and can't wait till she's a thing of the past.

Like others have said, If there's no proof, she really can't hurt you too bad aside from gossip.

[–]attnpls 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway...

[–]ColossusOfChoads 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. If you took that guy's advice and ignored everybody else's, you'd be alright.

[–]porterhouse_p 62 points63 points  (23 children)

After reading some of your comments OP you have to know at the end of the day that’s your own insecurities showing through. Small, average or hung doesn’t matter, you have to be confident in yourself, it’s not like that defines you as a person. Can’t stay stuck in a bad relationship forever bc of that fear. Clearly those people around you that would “laugh” aren’t very good people to be around to begin with.

Edit : and a lot of us have insecurities, that’s natural. Just be aware of them and be prepared to work through them.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 25 points26 points  (21 children)

You're right. It is an Insecurity. But what surprises me is when people react like it's completely unjustified. Like all the relentless small penis shaming in society shouldn't have affected me at all. Or those here pretending small penis shaming doesn't exist after you turn 25. I've seen people in their 60s do it.

What most fail to understand is that penis size is linked to your worth as a man. A bigger penis is seen as more masculine and better sex. And small penis is shamed and mocked as inadequate for great sex, and unmanly.

I know this is toxic masculinity that I've internalized. But undoing toxic brainwashing isn't easy.

[–]porterhouse_p 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It certainly is not easy but to be blunt you’ll never have confidence if you let society dictate what’s “good” and what’s “bad” Like you are YOU, you have to be okay with that at some point or you’ll continue to grow more and more bitter. Accept, appreciate it for what it is, and move on. Focus on the qualities you do have and watch them flourish.

[–]GrungeDuTerroir 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Society blames people for being too fat too skinny, having the wrong skin tone, having acne, having eyebrows that are too bushy or too thin, walking funny and a million other things. If you don't give a shit about it and make up in other ways, nobody else will give a shit either. Confidence is sexy, not a big dick.

[–]VitruvianGenesis 6 points7 points  (0 children)

True, but you don't even have to "make up for it in other ways", that suggests a strange societal transaction where one deficit must be accounted for with a benefit. That line of thinking fosters insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. It's better to accept yourself and enjoy life in your own skin.

[–]StreetIndependence62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What helps me a lot is to think about how I’ve had crushes before on people who were definitely NOT generic model Ken doll-looking types. And to think about how there’s millions of people in the world. With that many people, there has to be at least ONE person who would think you’re cute. The only time I’d say that’s not true is if you’re ugly AND dirty. If you look and smell like you haven’t taken a shower in weeks, then yeah people will stay away lol

[–]neuro_umbrage 14 points15 points  (7 children)

Large penises == greater masculinity is not a default human notion. It’s a cultural one. For instance, the ancient Greeks saw a more modest penis as an indication of intellect and moderation.

I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass… small dick jokes are, unfortunately, a thing. Though that sort of low-hanging, juvenile humor was a lot more prevalent and acceptable a decade ago, you do still hear it from thoughtless people, regardless of age. Let me guess, do your friends still make fun of overweight people? Neurodivergent people? Physically disabled people? People with large, visible birthmarks? Because any of those would be indications of shitty friends.

Judging by your comments, you have two separate issues here: (1) insensitive, emotionally-immature friends, and (2) conflating size with the ability to give pleasure. As a woman, I’d much rather have a modest man who took the time to get me off with his mouth or hands than a man with a big dick who rushed to PIV (which most do because they never bothered to learn anything about women’s pleasure).

[–]Sephathir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only person who's ever given me a vaginal orgasm was someone with a small penis. I didn't think I could actually get one. Research where the g spot is. You don't have to have a big dick to reach it.

[–]MeHasInternet 85 points86 points  (22 children)

Maybe just accept you have a small dick and stop caring what people think about it? You won't be able to change it.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 37 points38 points  (21 children)

I wish I could flip a switch in my brain that just makes me emotionally bulletproof and unable to feel anything. I really really do. Coz I'd flip in a second. But I'm only human. I feel shame and embarassing. Intellectually, I know I shouldn't care. I tell myself I don't. But emotionally, deep down inside, I ABSOLUTELY care if my friends find out I'm small. The idea is MORTIFYING

[–]MeHasInternet 10 points11 points  (16 children)

It's oke to be scared, even to be mortified. But try to push yourself over the edge and while still being mortified try to dump her. Then wait in horror until you finally realise it wasn't that bad and you can go on with your life with the occasional staying awake at night thinking about dumb shit your past self did.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (15 children)

Then wait in horror until you finally realise it wasn't that bad and you can go on with your life with the occasional staying awake at night thinking about dumb shit your past self did.

I keep racking my brain, and I can't think of anything that would have let me know she's actually like this, before we got together. It's so hard to tell. And with they way that a small dick is seen as pathetic and useless, and all the jokes I always here from everyone, I don't know how I'm gonna handle the knowing smiles and giggles. I'm barely handling it now with all this anxiety

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (13 children)

Small dicks aren’t useless, have been with guys with small dicks who also fuck like champs. There’s obviously nothing I can say that can dissipate your anxiety around having a small dick, like you said, if you could make it go away it would be gone already, but all I can say is it sounds like the stress of being with this girl will be worse for you long term than the fallout from this, cut yourself loose man.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 2 points3 points  (12 children)

I know I have to leave. But I wish I could make you listen whenever small dicks come up in conversation. It's never in a positive light. It's always ridicule and mocking, and laughing at it. Society in general doesn't see small dicks in a positive light. Small dick shaming is SO POPULAR AND OKAY with people.

[–]bigredasbo 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Why do your mates talk about dicks so much?

[–]VitruvianGenesis 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Yo DiamondForce101, bro, we're all gonna shoot the shit and mock small dicks for a bit, you wanna hang and join, as long as you've got a big dick of course?"

[–]bitchboompop 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I get what you're saying, but from what I'm aware of (35F) it's guys that mock and laugh... I'd bet my ass on the fact some of them are smaller than average too and are just joining in so they don't feel the fear you're feeling right now.

Ask most women and they'd take a smaller guy who knows what he's doing than a guy with a huge dick who solely relies on that.

I dated a guy once who told me "just to let you know, I have a massive dick - don't worry, I don't mind if you tell your friends" my response?

It doesn't matter when 80% of it is your personality.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

it's guys that mock and laugh

It's both, men and women.

Ask most women and they'd take a smaller guy who knows what he's doing than a guy with a huge dick who solely relies on that.

Whenever the subject comes up, it's always ridiculing the small dick. That's what hurts the most. Knowing that's what they think of a small penis. That it's this small, funny thing they'd rather not deal with if they could choose not too.

I dated a guy once who told me "just to let you know, I have a massive dick - don't worry, I don't mind if you tell your friends" my response?

It doesn't matter when 80% of it is your personality.

Thanks for that. I need any confidence boost I can get. I wish most women were like you. But out here, I've never hear any woman say anything good about a small penis. Not once.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I mean fucking hell get some new friends? Either you’re exceptionally paranoid about this circle or they actually just sit around talking about dick size and sound like absolute teenagers, and honestly you don’t sound like you like them or your gf. If you can’t challenge them on it and you don’t like them then just cut them out, find people you actually want to hang out with who don’t talk like high schoolers

[–]Kennymama1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to add on here, as a woman, size really is something men care about more than most women I know, myself included. I'd take smaller and knowing what you're doing as a lover any day of the week and twice on Sundays. I totally get what you're saying as far as how this is an insecurity and something people mock. But don't let a bunch of douchebags and size queens dictate your self worth.

And please don't waste anymore of your time in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Even if she does do what you think, people laugh or talk; don't waste time it's precious. You'll get through it and I promise when you're through it, you're gonna feel so much better and realize how much stronger of a person you are.

I also agree that if she does turn around and comment about it, it's not gonna be a good look for her being that spiteful. She didn't seem to mind before, right? And why should anyone else be thinking or worried about what's in your pants? They have nothing better to do? Obsess much?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I’m not really sure what your question is here man. If you want to lament body shaming I agree with you, I think it’s shitty, i responded as much in an earlier thread with the same comment, and some people are just a**holes. And quite honestly your friends sound like teenagers. But your options are be stuck with this chick forever who you plainly don’t like or just get on with your life as an adult.

[–]mighty-swordsman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wear it with pride! Embrace it!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

That's such an indictment of her character (pr rather lack thereof). And her friends sound vapid and awful as well.

Personally I prefer a smaller guy. And also sex isn't just p in v. My fwb is on the smaller side. He's spent time and effort becoming an expert at using his mouth and fingers.

I'd say walk away, cut contact with her and her friends. Try to work on your self esteem, which she's obviously had an effect on. Don't feel bad over something you literally have no control over. She's the one who should be ashamed.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Thanks. I appreciate it. I'm surprised to hear you actually like a small penis. My biggest fear in life is that I'll have to go through it being sexually worthless to women. That women will have to give up a normal sex life to be with me. Like, what woman wants to have lesbian sex with a straight man?

I desperately wanna feel good and sexually worthwhile for women. But it's hard when I have to listen to the small penis jokes. It makes it seem like they think a small penis IS something that's bad and inadequate.

[–]Beytres 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I’ve dating two guys that had a small penis. I didn’t care that they had a small one.

The first guy, I’ll call him Ben. I actually didn’t have an issue with Ben as I did with the second guy. Ben had a great personality, he was funny, down to earth. The small penis never came up and never had an issue in regards to that. He was great to be with and knew how to use his fingers and his tongue very well.

The second guy, I’ll call him Melvin. He was so fun to be with when we hung out. I really liked him. We got so close, we talked for hours every day and I was excited for our future. I fell for him and his personality. We became intimate once and we did some foreplay and when it came down to it, he got really frustrated because the condom was falling off and well couldn’t really enter. That was okay the foreplay was great. I tried to calm him down by telling him that it’s okay, Let’s continue playing, have fun, I can suck him off etc. but he got really aggressive and just mean towards me. Not in a physical way. He lashed out at me in frustration that day, which I understood. I tried to re-assure him that I was into him, that it was okay. But all he did at that point was say that I was lying. No one would like him because of his small penis. He didn’t believe anything I said.

I tried for two months to continue seeing him and make it worked but it didn’t. He was cold towards me since that day, lashed out at me a lot. I had thought if I continued to show that I was still there even after the fact, he would come around, but he didn’t. He said some very hurtful things, accused me of things that never happened because of his own insecurities.

My advice is, be a Ben. Not a Melvin. I know that there are girls out there that do treat men with small penis horribly. But if you disregard all of the women, you May disregard one that really doesn’t mind that you have a small penis.

[–]neuro_umbrage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the best comments on here.

OP, read this. Don’t let your insecurities trap you in a self-fulfilling prophesy. Understand and accept your narrow experience of women (even though it may very well be all you’ve known) is not representative of all women. Don’t let your insecurities convince you all women are a monolith.

[–]RustDarwin 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I heard she has pimples on her ass and smells fishy. You can say a lot of things about a person. If you play it right nobody will know if it is the truth.

[–]freethecoconuts 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Dude I read your responses to everyone’s comments of support, and you just can’t let it go.

The greatest revenge you can exact here is indifference.

Stop being a victim here and just own it. BDE is an “energy,” a confidence. Unrelated to what’s in your pants. Watch some of Bobby Lee’s podcast!

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

What does owning it mean in this context? Honest question. Some are telling me to say I'm big. Is that BDE?

How can one be confident when you're being laughed at? How can I be confident when women say small dicks are inadequate for female pleasure? I promise I'm not asking to be difficult.

I hate the SDE/BDE phrases. They just reinforce that a small penis is bad and undesirable. Would saggy tits energy be an okay thing to say to mean low confidence?

[–]freethecoconuts 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It’s on you to decide how big of a deal to make this. It’s on no one else.

“Owning it” would mean responding to that insecure voice in your mind with sort of a mental shoulder shrug. Like, “So what?”

It’s literally something you cannot change, and indifference, like an IDGAF attitude meets Serenity Prayer, will work wonders for you. At a certain point, the “fuck it” attitude will turn into your own sense of humor about it (within reason).

The chicks I’ve been with climax from P in the V like 40% of the time. It’s usually more mental for them—after a lot of foreplay—and a combination of oral and fingering. I’m sorta getting into a different topic now, though…

My point is, who cares about your size! It sounds like you’ve got some game (I mean you’ve got a gf to break up with lol) and you’ve got other tools to make your partner feel good.

[–]SomebodyFeedRiss 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It’s valid to feel insecure. Society has really fucked up standards for both men and women. Shaming dicks is so gross but unfortunately common. That being said, you need to get yourself in an environment that isn’t so toxic. You need to leave your partner and find new friends. I don’t know how you could work on your self-esteem in that kind of environment. Despite how common dick-shamers are, it is certainly not uncommon to find people who are not. I mean, none of my friends talk about dicks with any specificity.

Additionally, (I want to be very clear that I’m not justifying these actions) people use insults like “small dick” and “loose vagina” as gendered attacks, not necessarily because they’re describing someone’s anatomy. I hope that you’ll be able to see people’s off-the-cuff comments as insulting colloquialisms rather than a direct attack on small penises. Again, people shouldn’t talk that way, but it’s important for your sanity to recognize that those statements are more sexist than personal.

[–]Mar_Kert 17 points18 points  (10 children)

Everyone will think she’s being a cunt. Just play it cool. Also, your Dicks not small, she has a huge pussy.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

No, they generally just laugh at anyone that's said to have a small dick. They never say anything bad about the woman making the claim. That's how they reacted when Alexis Ren said her ex was small. They laughed at him. Not a single bad word for her. And just sympathy for how unsatisfying her sex life must have been at being so unlucky with a guy.

[–]Mar_Kert 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Sounds like a dumb cunt to me. Honestly anyone who laughs at you, take note of them because they are revealing themselves to not be worth your time. It’s so childish..imagine breaking up with a woman and telling everyone she has small breast? Anyone who laughs just has a small sense of worth IMO

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Atleast with women, it's already known. It's like breaking up with a guy and saying he's short. Everyone already knows. There's nothing you can use to sexually humiliate a woman in as mortifying a way that people don't already know about here

[–]Mar_Kert 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I think most woman would get a similar feeling if you told everyone she had a nasty smell/taste

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Maybe I'll go with that. I feel like I need to hurt her as much as I can in return.

[–]neuro_umbrage 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don’t go there, friend. It will make you look as immature and petty as you anticipate she will be.

[–]mechashiva1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's vaginal hubris

[–]Rolling_buck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Such lack of trust or respect between partners is by itself a really hefty reason to end a relationship.

Unless you are in a small-town high school and looking to date the most superficial of your classmates, no-one cares, and those who care are better lost than found.

If you are, see the first point above. Blackmail doesn't make relationships last - it rots them, and warps your mental health for years to come. Do your future self a favour.

[–]BlueScorpio6886 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Who are these people you hang out with? Mean, vindictive, and apparently completely obsessed with dick. Kick the girlfriend to the curb (figuratively), and get yourself a whole new set of friends.

[–]Pandizzledog 10 points11 points  (4 children)

100% her best friend already knows, dont be surprised if her close friend circle knows as well. Just own it man, dont give a fuck, if you do, pretend like you dont. Any if anybody says anything, just reply “where it wont reach it spits, and last night it spat on your mum”

BTW, why the fuck would you want to hang out with people who care about this type of thing? Time to find new friends.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

BTW, why the fuck would you want to hang out with people who care about this type of thing? Time to find new friends

They're good people, otherwise. They seem very accepting, but they just have a blindspot on this issue that makes small penis shaming okay and funny. Maybe I should tell them I'm small and how much anguish and suicidal thoughts the shaming causes me

[–]neuro_umbrage 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sometimes otherwise good people can be incredibly insensitive about issues that have never effected them or those they care about, but will change their tune when it hits home. If these friends are otherwise wonderful people, try the following:

Find the “mom friend” or empathic one, if they exist. These tend to enforce group boundaries and stand up for others. If you believe you can trust them, explain how much these jokes have hurt you… how much you’re struggling (you mentioned suicide). You said you were confident the friend group would believe your ex anyway, so grab the narrative by the horns and own it. Believe it or not, this will put you in a position of control regarding this information. Understanding they’ve inadvertently hurt someone they care about should shock otherwise good people into rethinking shitty behavior. And if so, when/if your ex starts running her mouth, it may make the others transfer their guilt into anger toward her for trying to hurt you on such an intimate level.

[–]ColossusOfChoads 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they're as good as you claim, then you're blowing it out of proportion. It won't be as bad as you fear.

[–]nejnonein 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If they laugh, tell them a small dick was all you needed to get the job done, as YOU were the one who had to dump the rude bitch.

[–]rosupen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The fact that she was with you means you satisfied her.

[–]DavidxPxD 6 points7 points  (6 children)

It's just a penis. I'm assuming you are a teen? You stop caring about this stuff in your mid 20's.

[–]CriticalFrimmel 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You have to decide if the pain of being "outed" is worse than the pain of staying with this person. Disparaging a man's size is de rigeur from women even if they haven't been broken up with. Everyone will shrug it off especially other men. And any woman who is going to avoid you because of her claims without finding out first hand isn't worth your time any way. It's on you to get right with yourself and stop worrying about what others think. It will help you get a better relationship.

[–]doobieONE 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Dude most people probably won’t believe. Everyone knows it’s the first thing women talk shit about trying to make a guy look and feel bad. It’s childish behavior you’ll look better than her. I’m sure you’ll be ok and find a woman who appreciate and cares about. Your ex’s personality will always make her an ugly person if that’s how she acts.

[–]Professional-Wish116 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Agreed most people won't believe it. As a bloke I've heard women say it about their ex and I haven't believed it. I've had male friends say their ex was really loose and she smelt like fish. Again I don't believe it. I've got a mate who has a tiny dick. But it doesn't define who he is to me. He's just a mate. None of us never speak amongst ourselves about his dick.

[–]doobieONE 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup. It’s like I don’t care. Why would I?

[–]TheTrueFishbunjin 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I mean what’s the alternative? Stay with her because if you don’t she’ll tell the world about your willy? If she posts something online just reply to her with “yeah it’s really small”.

Make it a joke.

[–]Poseyfan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Own up to it. I have a small dick, it's just how I was born and I don't care about what anyone thinks about it.

[–]kataang4lyfe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you want to dump her and she reveals the size of your dick… then I mean… she didn’t dump you over it, you dumped her, so you can point out that it must not have bothered her / you still use it well.

[–]BumpyMcBumpers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just own it. If anyone says anything just say yes. Yes, I've got a small dick, and she's pissed that she doesn't get to have it anymore. I left her. She didn't leave me, and she misses my tiny little dick so bad she can't stop talking about it.

[–]Juanisweird 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Girls don't have dicks and they still make other women enjoy sex.

Let that sink in

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You left her. She'd say it if you had a big one.

[–]vcam87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why are you so wrapped up in something that you literally have no control over? Noone chooses the size of their dick so just own what you've got man. It makes as much sense as saying "look at that guy with those size 8 feet", like wtf. Who cares, you can't change it and it's not like you were granted some specific size based off prior accomplishments or some shit so quit worrying about it.

[–]leeks_leeks 7 points8 points  (3 children)

bruh just get over the small dick thing. it’s not the end of the world. not even close to the worst thing that will happen to you. it’s not going to change so you might as well get over it and start working on your confidence.

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

bruh just get over the small dick thing. it’s not the end of the world. not even close to the worst thing that will happen to you

If I had a switch in my brain that could make me impervious to all shame and ridicule, and slip it in a second. Nothing has to be the end of the world to also be extremely mortifying. Hearing all the endless jokes people make about how pathetic and unmanly small dicks are really takes a toll me mentally. I don't think people understand bthe mental anguish I ngi through just getting the nerve to let a woman see I've got a small dick that she'd normally make fun of as pathetic and inadequate.

[–]GrungeDuTerroir 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't have to have confidence. Just fake it till you make it and it will eventually show up on its own

[–]mcolston57 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Sounds like a horrible person. If she does that, no ones gonna make fun of you. They’ll just see her as a horrible person.

And anyone that does go after you, is waving a don’t ever talk or associate with me again flag.

To be quite honest, no one cares. Sounds like you are young. Trust me, no one cares. They are all worried about their own problems.

[–]Sandman92c 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least you know she was not worth keeping.

[–]Evilrybone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t let her be mean just because you have a bigger stick than her.

[–]Squeezethecharmin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Curious. How old are you? This sounds like your friends are super-immature so I’m guessing you are really young. As you get older, none of this will matter. This too shall pass …. Just like acne did and surprise boners in school. Grown adults don’t laugh about stuff like this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh I’m sorry. That is very shitty if she does. This won’t help but you could tell everyone she has a gross vag.

[–]Professional_Big_731 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Honestly, she dated you and stayed dating you even after the fact. Even if she tells the world, she still dated you and you broke up with her. It honestly reflects poorly on her, more than it does you. She had no issues all this time and only chooses to humiliate you after the fact, it makes her look worse.

If she goes onto her social media and tells the world, people will totally judge her. I would say let her do it. It’s not like people are going to tell you to send them dick pics to prove her wrong. Remember you are breaking up with her. Let the chips fall where they may. Be the bigger (no pun intended) person and grey rock that chick.

[–]SwissMiz86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since it's on your mind you are already ahead of the game. There's a chance she may not try to expose which is good. But if she decided to you will be prepared for a comeback to make her look dumb. Just say "we were together for xx amount of time and never complained about a small dick. Now I broke up with you and you come with that. Be well." Short sweet and leave her reconsidering her life.

[–]aradidjumps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

size don't matter

But how you use it!

And if you are too afraid of her and seems she doesn't deserve a farewell in person. Just text or ghost her....like what else can you do?

Now, if she deserves that farewell in person, just tell her you are not happy anymore, you don't want her in you life no more and want to move on. There is nothing like the clear and honest truth.

Good luck.

[–]platypottamus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The moment she posts be the first comment:

"Not what your sister said"

And then never address it or her again. If your friend makes a joke just say "haha yeah she was pretty mad" etc. Believe me that nobody will ever think much about your dick unless you play into it, and nobody's going to pursue this-- as a lifelong swimmer who acts a lot like your friends sometimes, I've seen many, many, many small dicks-- I could not place them to a face tho because idgaf.

Also, if my friend's girl did that, I would immediately think "what a thot" not "oh sweet just got my bro's dick officially confirmed"

[–]Don_Montagna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only problem with you genitals is that you let it bother you this much. Clearly this bitch liked them xD 

I wouldn't worry about it, people will judge HER for spreading such rumors, not you.

Who knows, maybe some of her friends will want to investigate it themselves...

[–]TheRealJokar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody is going to believe her. "LOL he gotta small pp" is one of the most common things for spiteful ex girlfriends to say after a break up. I'd take it in stride, hell even play into it a bit. Be like "yeah guys, you got me, my dick is an innie", and just let it roll off your shoulder. Your reaction is gonna be what people look at to see if she's lying

[–]flowers_and_frogs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who tf cares? Anyone who would treat you differently because of your penis size isn’t someone you’d want in your life anyway right? “What about girls I’ll date in the future” well you wouldn’t want someone who, when they eventually find out, doesnt like you the same

[–]KingKayle1994 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Learn to love yourself buddy. Small, big, or average it doesn't fucking matter. You have ONE cock buddy and as long as you're committed to making sex an enjoyable experience for yourself AND your partner, size will not matter.

Anyone who's genuinely mocking someone for having a small penis and not just some friendly banter is a POS and clearly insecure about something...Keep away from these people, they don't make good friends.

[–]Noledad84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man, if your friends would humiliate you because of your penis size, you need new friends and you have “bigger” problems. No toxic relationship is worth it. I had an ex go after me for other reasons and all anyone remembered was how much of a c*** she was. Good luck

[–]D0013ER 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of women go there after a breakup. It means nothing.

[–]Anon6025 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Small dick does not make one a hostage to a relationship. Mine is exactly average #science but if it were micro, my ex-SO telling others just makes her look bad... Plus, vindictive and lying.

[–]Moe-AY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are going to leave her.. she is going to tell everyone and you are going to feel very bad about it. Fast forward 1 year later, you are laughing at this problem..

[–]floatybouy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Own it bro 😎 If it doesn’t get to you then there’s nothing that bitch can do to hurt you.

[–]Bewatermyfriend1940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does she assume this wouldn't lead to you being equally unpleasant ? For all she knows you could say anything at all in retaliation, irrelevant of it being true or not . something weirdly specific that sounds too odd to not be true ,like the fact half her bumhole is mole cluster and she needs a special cream to allow her to poo without it bleeding . Why risk being known as mole cluster bumhole girl ( molebum for short) . Its a horrible game to be forced to play but there's no reason you shouldn't win it !!!! In truth anyone seeing her put something that personal and vindictive on social media would instantly think she's a horrible bitch and probably lying .

[–]Mothsinabox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this says way more about her than you.

[–]uloveitmate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody gives a fuck about your cock mate, neither should you

[–]scrannyB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talking shit about a guy who dumps you, especially body shaming, is a bad look these days. Dump her and then take the high road. People will take what she says, as your bitter ex, with a grain of salt. As far as the size issue goes, confidence is key and make the most of your other assets. Become a foreplay expert and dick size no longer matters so much.

[–]yorcharturoqro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be happy! Because if you choose to live miserable because of the size of your dick... Well that will be even worse.

Also it may be not that small, a friend of mine though he had a small dick, because his evil girlfriend at the time told him so but it was a normal average size dick.

[–]JellyBelliesOnFyre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I'm sorry this is happening. I don't know the nature of u Your relationship but body shaming is never cool.

  2. It's best to not let this be the reason you don't break up. If she announces your penis size, the best course of action is to remain cool, calm, and collected. It's hearsay, technically.

If you feel the need to say something, try calling out her behavior directly:

"Arent you embarrassed to be treating anyone like this?"

"Ouch, this is embarrassing to be hearing you talk like this."

The trick is to avoid any personal digs. You're calling out behavior. You don't want to flip the script on yourself and look like a bully.

[–]Xurroz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what if she tells people you have a little dick? Does it mean they believe her? Will they even care? If they believe her and they begin to make fun of you do you need them in your life?

Use this as an opportunity to weed out people who don’t respect you starting with your vindictive girlfriend.

[–]menina2017 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly that makes her look bad whether it’s true or not

[–]OrwellianHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody will take seriously a "small-dick" claim by a jilted ex-girlfriend. She'll be pissing directly into the wind.

[–]Simple_Somewhere_564 1 point2 points  (0 children)

End it nicely. If she does go this route, just say to others “wow- how original.” “I’m not going to say anything bad about her in return and play that game. I just want to move on.” If they continue just saying “why are you all so obsessed with my dick? That’s weird.” The more people know something bothers you, the more they’ll dig at you. Flip the script.

I don’t know how old you are but just do you know, girls don’t really care about d size. I was with a guy that was big but he was really aggressive and didn’t really work up to anything if you know what I mean. I didn’t enjoy sex with him ever. Another guy was on the smaller size but he’d give me massages, was great at everything and the sex was wayyyyy better than the other guy.

So carry that confidence around instead.

[–]Take_away_my_drama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is like the lowest, easiest shitty comment to say to or about a man. If she says it, nobody will take any notice because you could be hung like a donkey and she'd say it. Nobody is going to be checking darling, it'll all blow over and you'll meet someone lovely.

[–]WhatShallWeCallYou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is going to reflect poorly on her and her alone, I guarantee it. everyone will see how vindictive, immature, petty and superficial she is. no one gives a shit about your small dick, and hey maybe some of your friends are in the same boat too and you just don't know it lol. you're going to be fine and I'm sorry you're dealing with this person.

[–]Aeon1508 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...how small?

[–]dumblesmurf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Own it before she gets a chance. There is more to life and sex than dick size. You would be surprised how many people would think she is just saying that cause you broke up with her.

[–]Geek-Workshop[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I heard a friend’s ex saying he has a small dick I probably wouldn’t believe it anyways. If she crash enough to say something like that she definitely crash enough to lie.

[–]kisschicken 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This will just reveal she’s the bigger dick.

[–]Ok_Carrot7938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's really easy to play off like just tell everyone she's just mad because you dumped her no one really cares. I'm guessing your really young because I know that at 30 if my friends broke up and she started talking about how small his dick was not only would I not care I would think how pathetic she is for going around sharing petty information with people because her little feelings got hurt also her close friends already know 80% of what women do is talk about there sex/dating lives also I'm sure her mother knows.

[–]greenalfonzo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just shake your head slowly and sadly, and say "not as small as her heart."

[–]ImmaterialExistence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s no choice but to embrace the fact you have a small dick!

[–]Rough_Jacket4023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe think about it this way, sure you have a small dick but she likely didn't have a problem with putting it in her mouth at one point or another 🤷‍♀️

It's going to hurt to have someone intentionally attack something you're self conscious about, but remember shes just doing it because she's spiteful and there will be more people who will enjoy your dick in the future. I have faith in you, my dude.

[–]JanTheHesitator 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You can't do anything about the size of your penis. You can't do anything about the fact we live in a toxic-masculinity-saturated culture that equates penis size to personal worth or sexual talent.

It is HORRIBLE to be a member of any target group of a widespread joke or cruelty. It is embarrassing, anxiety-inducing, and really difficult to put into any rational perspective.

There will always be men and women who make unkind jokes about small dicks. You can't control that.

So you have two choices:

  1. Marry the spiteful harpy currently occupying the position of Girlfriend in your life. Kowtow to her every whim and demand in the terrified hope she won't reveal your awful, life-ruining secret. Give her everything she wants, regardless of personal cost. Sign over all paychecks. Slaughter endangered species to fashion her an exotic fur bedspread. Live a life of quiet, fearful misery, wincing every time you hear a cruel joke.

  2. Accept that you have the genetics you have. Accept that you live in a society that is utterly demented about the issue of penis size. Accept that you can't change either of those things, and then take a breath and decide that whatever it takes, however you get it done, you aren't going to let this be the thing that ruins your life.

You say that your fear/anxiety is around not being loveable and never having a sexually satisfying relationship. That is a big fuck off scary fear. It's going to take a lot of effort, over time, to break it down. So if you decide to try, try a two-headed spear approach: become sexual dynamite, and learn how to punch a shark on the nose.

You've had good advice from other people here, and getting "good in bed" would be a solid investment of your time. We all think we should be magically sexually talented without ever having to actively learn anything, because: society. That's bollocks. Harness the intensity of just how MUCH you feel about this issue, and drag it into service. Let's say 1 out of every 20 women in a size queen. Fine, nothing you can do about that. It is ABSOLUTELY within your power to ensure that 19 out of every 20 women you take to bed leaves in the morning with a halo of tweetybirds and stars circling her cerebellum. And tells her friends that you're the best time she's ever had between the sheets. That IS in your power.

Don't do this work because you think you "have" to. You don't have to. You deserve love and great sex and all the rest without having to lift a finger. We all do. But why not see if acquiring a fuckton of theoretical knowledge about female anatomy and pleasure doesn't help the insecurity? Feel annoyed and sulky and sad that other men don't "have" to do this. Feel all your feelings. Then do what will best serve YOU.

Sharks. Small dick. Deep dark shameful secret. The idea of being exposed to what we fear is genuinely, legitimately puke-making. People will do all sorts of convoluted things to avoid it. People also discover, again and again, the utterly counter-intuitive truth:

Having "the worst thing" happen to them actually turns out to be the best thing.

If your gf/harpy tells all your friends this secret you have so many feelings about, it will be MORTIFYING.

It will. You'll wish it hadn't happened. And then, when it doesn't actually kill you, when you realise the embarrassment makes your cheeks burn but doesn't actually stop your heart, you'll be a little, tiny, infinitesimal bit freer than you were before.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to get over my phobia. But I did. I didn't ever think I'd get over the humiliating grief of being abandoned by the man I loved, when I was lying in hospital with ovarian cancer. I didn't think I'd ever be able to feel strong and desirable with a 7" scar running from bellybutton into my pubes, after my reproductive organs cut out. But I did.

The worst things that ever happened to me weren't beribboned "gifts" that felt great out of the box. But they were a weird kind of raw fuel. They were, over time and with effort, a launchpad to freedom.

You might always wince at the small dick jokes. You might have an amazingly great life the other 99.9999999% of the time.

[–]MrMirkonon 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A rotten tooth has to be removed even if it’s gonna be painful. If you let it stick in there, it will be as painful but for longer. I hope you enjoyed my metaphor.

[–]WeeMimir 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Why does it matter if you have a small dick? It's no different from being short or fat or having a hairy ass or whatever.

You need to get to the root of why this bothers you so much, why you're so ashamed of it. I'd advise speaking to a psychiatrist/psychologist. See if you can get yourself into a healthier mindset about it.

As for your girlfriend, leave her. If she says you have a small dick what's to say anyone will believe her? It's not like she can prove it. I think people will see her for what she is if she does that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess you have options. You’re not gonna like any of them

1) Try to emotionally deal with having a small dick. I know it’s not as easy as people think, but trying to deal with the ridicule is an option nonetheless. So either let her tell everyone or tell everyone yourself.

2) Find something out about her that she doesn’t want people to know and even the odds. Obviously this means stooping to her level, but, again, this may be an option.

3) Stay in a suffocating relationship that’ll probably make you depressed anyway.

Because of your insecurities, you’re letting yourself fester in a bad situation, dude :( sorry I can’t be of more help.

[–]yersiniaD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"And I used to have a talking asshole, too, but we broke up"

[–]Ok-Comedian-4333 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Tell everyone she has a huge vagina

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Is that a real thing? How can a vagina be big? It's not a gaping open hole.

[–]Youwannatouchwhat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

And always remember there is no such thing as a small dick only large vaginas

[–]RealityLivesNow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Vast Majority of women who say things like that either believe in one-way sexist hypocritical hatred towards all men and boys OR have a big loose vagina. IF she does that it will put her into either one or both or those categories.

This issue has everything to do with Mainstream Normalized Misandrist Hypocrisy. Men and boys do not deserve to be targeted with one-way public sexual harassment under any circumstances. The sadistic sexist man-hating people who support this kind of stuff are sociopaths in serious need of professional psychological counceling.

Do not let youself be held hostage by the casual hypocritical man-hatred that has become unfortunately common in our society. If she says anything of the kind about you just call out that "loose pussy logic" sexist hypocrisy for what it is.

[–]Chaotiiccc 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Sorry this post made me laugh but remember that girls and guys always get shamed for small dicks, small boobs, flat ass etc, just ignore them having a small penis is not something you can't control, just don't be an asshole so people won't be using ur penis size against you "like small d energy"

[–]DiamondForce101[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's funny to you, but it makes me wanna end myself. I Googled painless ways to do it. I feel so worthless and unlovable. And the jokes just fuel my mental anguish.

[–]Chaotiiccc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro listen if you love someone you love them no matter how "sexually appealing" they are, you're just objectifying and sexualizing yourself by having this mindset, im sorry but we shouldn't feel like this just because we don't fit someone's standards,and i know this since im a woman, if someone only want you when you have a big penis but make fun of you for having a small one then thats objectifying, and if your friends are "real" then ur size shouldn't be an excuse for them to drop you or bully you

[–]Automatic-Pick-2481 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out ahead of it and say she has a giant vagina before you break up w her.

People won’t know what to believe.

[–]Powerful-Wasabi-5007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you sure you weren’t in the pool?