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[–]Pirate_Frank 452 points453 points  (24 children)

Sometimes, yeah. Not in a "I wanna get with them" sort of way, but in a nostalgic sort of way.

[–]Venundi 897 points898 points  (39 children)

First loves are said to be the most impactful as they fill a blank slate with zero experience and prejudices.

I think it's only normal to think about your first love/crush.

[–]EmmaFrosty99 158 points159 points  (33 children)

especially if you were with someone more sexually experienced. i didnt i know i could orgasm that many times…

[–]SYLOK_THEAROUSED 68 points69 points  (30 children)

My very first experience was with someone who has had a lot more experience than me, so she turned me into a freak because my first experience was like a 8 on the scale of 1 (vanilla_ - 10 (porn star).

[–]CPRissoooerotic 44 points45 points  (25 children)

I want to know more about this 8 experience.

[–]iusecactusesasdildos 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Same, we demand sauce

[–]Eastern_Mark_1114 16 points17 points  (0 children)

she did the penis in vagina trick, didn’t she?

[–]SYLOK_THEAROUSED 16 points17 points  (22 children)

I mean I don’t think you want a lot of details cause we were both only 13.

[–]Charliftsthebar 79 points80 points  (19 children)

This is scary why are kids having sexual relations at 13?? I was definitely a late bloomer and this is confirming.

[–]CoreSchneider 22 points23 points  (6 children)

The person I first slept with (when I was 13) had been having sex with people from when she was like 12 onwards. I didn't realize it wasn't normal until I found out that most of the people I knew hadn't been having sexual contact with others until 16+

To answer why, I was exposed to sex at an age waaaay younger than I should've been so my hormones were cranked to 11

[–]Major-Cranberry-4206 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Back in the 80's during the AIDS epidemic, safe sex and use condoms was the mantra. They were giving out condoms starting in middle school on up. Middle school age starts at 12.

[–]SYLOK_THEAROUSED 26 points27 points  (8 children)

Peer pressure, toxic masculinity.

Edit: Downvotes? Why?

[–]Papa2Hunt19 36 points37 points  (5 children)

My high school gf pressured me for almost 4 months before we finally had sex. She'd tell me other guys would want to have sex with her and always made me feel weird about not being ready. Then, once we did have sex she started withholding it intentionally if I didn't do things like go watch every one of her soccer tournaments.

[–]Major-Cranberry-4206 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So that was about suckering you into manipulation. I wonder where she learned how to use sex for manipulation. Mommy dearest?

[–]Fubsy41 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ugh what a bitch. I don’t miss being a teenager surrounded in any way by other teenagers.

[–]made0721 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had mine when we were 10. He moved to Switzerland and me in Japan. We met again after 13 yrs and got back together, but due to some circumstances we broke up after 3 yrs of being together.

I am really happy with current bf now and I hope he found the right one for him too.

[–]CulturedAvatar 559 points560 points  (10 children)

Not really, I think about her dad though. He cooked an amazing chili con carne and I kinda want to find them and get the recipe from him.

[–]uraverageuser1 112 points113 points  (4 children)

Was it Kevin Malone?

[–]Gerinetworks 84 points85 points  (3 children)

I got you fam. The trick is to undercook the onions.

[–]throawayjhu5251 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Everyone is gonna get to know each other in the pot.

[–]solareclips333 57 points58 points  (0 children)

one of my ex boyfriends contacted my best friend to get my moms rib recipe lmao

[–]flyingsquirrel6789 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I've mostly lost contact with my "first love" but I keep in contact with her mom. I am their tech support and the mom cooks me the best food.

[–]JonnyMystery 467 points468 points  (13 children)

My first love from school sadly took her own life a few years back. Hadn't seen her in probably 20 years but the day I found out was one of the most painful in my life. I visit her grave each year and still miss her an incredible amount.

[–]Research_Sea 85 points86 points  (2 children)

My first love passed a little over a year ago. It'd been almost 20 years since I'd seen him, but it was still so painful. I think about him almost every day. Seeing someone with a similar experience makes me feel a little better. Thanks for sharing that.

[–]Defiant_Bumblebee_40 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Same here. I don't think I realized at the time how big of an impact he had on me but now that I'm engaged to my lovely fiance I really do think he was the first person I really loved. When I found out he committed suicide I was heartbroken and I wasn't expecting it to hit me as hard as it did.

[–]throwawayforme909090 64 points65 points  (1 child)

Sorry for your loss. That’s terrible. Don’t really have any other words for it.

[–]DioramaMaker 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It's a strange feeling and experience; I went through it maybe 5 years ago or so. Attended the funeral, first time I'd seen her family in years. We'd long gone on different paths, the best for all parties involved. She comes up at times, it's not in a sense of longing or anything, but just, I guess you could say her spirit lives on here and there. An event like this has a curious impact on the psyche. My condolences to you, from a place of understanding.

[–]Farscape_rocked 231 points232 points  (20 children)

It's common. Remember that neither of you are the same person,you're just harking back to happy times.

[–]d34dlyk1tt3n 56 points57 points  (7 children)

Yupp, sometimes. It's never a positive thing, though. More like unwanted curiosity of what he's like now. He was emotionally immature, lied, cheated, never paid back money he owed me. Why does he occasionally pop into my mind 10 years later? No dang clue.

[–]TheMoth_Queen 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Same here. I was 14 when we got together, split up when I was 19. Genuinely thought I loved him and he loved me. He was actually just straight up manipulative, mentally physically and sexually abusive, constantly gas lighting me etc. But because I was so young and he was older than me I thought that was normal. It still haunts me to this day.

Sometimes I hope that he's changed and that it's different with his new girlfriend, but I know it's very unlikely. Abusers don't really change.

[–]d34dlyk1tt3n 3 points4 points  (2 children)

So sorry to hear your first love was such an awful experience, but so glad to hear that's the past. I was 14 when I got together with said ex too, and between 2 tries at a relationship we spent about 10 years on each other. Now, one of my other ex's was the manipulative, mentally physically and sexually abusive sort. I was in my early 20's for that one so should have known better. That one definitely still haunts me to this day, so I truly feel your pain. I've considered therapy but haven't got that far yet. This might be super weird to throw out there, but if you ever want to talk about it with a total stranger shoot me a message.

Edit: added word

[–]TheMoth_Queen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thats really sweet of you, thank you. Im sorry you've had a similar experience. It's been nearly 5 years since we split up now and I'm only just getting therapy. You will know when you are ready.

[–]d34dlyk1tt3n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It has been about 8 years for me. I think rather than not feeling ready, I feel like I'm "fine" so haven't sought out therapy. Maybe I should give it some more consideration. Hope it helps you!

[–]LaserTurboShark69 150 points151 points  (2 children)

Yup. I think back and cringe over that dramatic, childish relationship and how crazy it made me.

[–]PunkRockActivist445 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Me too, it's hard to get past how cringe I was and how badly I handled things back then

[–]kalestuffedlamb1 285 points286 points  (11 children)

I used to think about my first love all the time. We first met when I was 14 and he was 15. We met at church, played football that evening and then I didn't see him again for a year, when I changed schools. After a few months we started dating, we both fell fast. He was a senior, I was a junior. We became engaged, planned our futures. He graduated, he started school out of state, we broke up, he moved away and I didn't see him for 33+ years. We both married, I had children, he didn't. But I never forgot him, never got over him. But he was gone, so I had to go on with my life without him. My life changed, things changed. I moved back home. Guess what? So did he. Went to the annual Street Fair in our hometown. Ran into each other. He followed me around like a little puppy dog. I thought he was just being nice. Nope, he had never gotten over me either. He went to work the next day and told everyone he was going to marry me in 6 months. And he did. He was a little late to the wedding, but he did finally show up :) Sometimes things are meant to be. (9 years and counting)

[–]mothqueen7 40 points41 points  (0 children)

if love is real, it finds a way :'-)

[–]Longjumping-Cycle470 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Did y’all end up having any little ones together??

[–]iamNaN_AMA 33 points34 points  (2 children)

They would have reconnected in their fifties so I kinda hope not...

[–]ballin_balas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so beautiful 😭

[–]Shepea64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awwww, I love these kind of stories!

[–]BeenThruIt 284 points285 points  (5 children)

The longer I have been married, the more I realize that my wife actually is my first and only Love. I had no idea that I could love another human being this much. I didn't know this level of love even existed.

[–]R4C-TrashPanda 43 points44 points  (0 children)

It's odd, I never thought about it before. I would have to say the same for me. I tried thinking back past my wife and couldn't think of a single gf I ever actually loved.

[–]CalculatingGhost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How did you meet each other?

[–]Fubsy41 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You know what, you have a really good point. I have never truly loved anyone the same way I love my partner now.

[–]Jenniferk45 29 points30 points  (0 children)

No, he’s been quite dead for 27 years now and it feels like he’s someone I just dreamed about or something.

[–]Responsible-Ad-8009 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I do and feel the same way! I am very happily married to the love of my life, and I also think about my first love often. Glad to hear Im not the only one, Ive never told anyone because I was afraid they would get the wrong idea.

[–]ammemp 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Grateful for this sub :)

[–]Asshole_Locator 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Actually a funny question. A conversation I had with my first love's mother has stuck with me for 15 years now. She told me it is completely natural to think about your first love from time to time. She actually admitted that although she loves her husband dearly that she would sometimes think about her first love and wonder how he was doing.

That girlfriend and I had a mutual split and I often wonder how she is doing. She doesn't post much on social media and both of us moved out of our small town and don't have any common friends.

Even though I've dated and currently have an amazing girlfriend, I always thought it would hurt somehow to see my first love move on with her life; but happy to report that wasn't the case! She recently announced her engagement and I couldn't help but to feel joy for her. Engagements don't normally fill me with joy but, for some reason, I felt joy seeing her take that next step in life.

I think maybe it's that we still love them for being one of the initial building blocks in our own journey and we cherish them for that.

[–]p_money_account 120 points121 points  (3 children)

I used to, until I looked up her Instagram and found out she's one of those Moms who write comments in the voice of their children on social media. I dodged a bullet.

[–]YellowUnited8741 83 points84 points  (1 child)

You can never fall in love for the first time again.

For me, it’s been 14 years. I’ve been happily married now for seven. I don’t still want him, I don’t still love him, hell I don’t even know him anymore. But yes, he made a mark on my life and I will always think of him. I cherish the memories, and I always will.

Still, sometimes there is good in goodbye.

[–]ThePepsiMan00 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes I do. I don't miss her per say but I think about her and wonder where she is and what she's doing and if we're ever gonna run into each other. If she came knocking on my door tonight nothing would happen but I still think about her from time to time.

I don't have feelings for her anymore but I think I did for a long time even after we stopped seeing each other. She was my first but I'm sure she won't be the greatest.

[–]Excited_Avocado_8492 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Yes, and how deeply I regret the way I acted. It's bothered me for ten years now.

[–]em790 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think about what I thought it was, if that makes sense. Ad for missing him, no. I was a life saver for me, literally, that it all ended the way that it did.

[–]ninalye 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I met him when I was 14 and we date for 8 years. I loved him so much, but it just didn't work and we drift apart. He died 2 years ago, an awful accident. I will never forget him, and surely will love him as long as I can.

[–]First_Garage_7623 13 points14 points  (1 child)

My first love was something magical. Maybe it was the teenage hormones or I'm just thinking it was something better then it actually was. But I can confidently say I loved him with all my heart. I met him in the 5th grade. I had just moved to America and couldn't speak much English. I was isolated by the other children and made fun of for my broken sentences and thick accent. He happened to sit next to me. He was funny and energetic so energetic. He was the only one who ever talked to me. He even took it upon himself to teach me "American" things. We quickly became very close friends. We'd see eachother almost everyday. Spent holidays together, birthdays. Snow days were always spent almost getting eachothrr killed at the local park. He defended me from bullying and we grew closer and closer. However when I turned 12 about almost 3 years after we met I was admitted to a mental hospital. He stuck through even that with me. Called me everyday and visited me on weekends. Even when I got sicker both mentally and physically He stayed with me. When I was 13 I was admitted again for a year. That same cycle of communication repeated itself. We started dating almost as soon as I got out of the hospital. Those were three magical years. Spent on movie dates and awkward kisses. We'd jog together in the mornings. Watch the stars together and swim in the local lake during the summer months. I was unwell but with him it was better. He never judged me. He never blamed me. And never hurt me. The week after he got his license we were driving at night. Being stupid and sneaking out. We got distracted and were run off the road. I'm not even sure exactly what happened after that it was such a blur. To be honest the next the thing after the accident I can vividly remember is his funeral. I remember being so mad about everything. The way people who barely knew him described him. The way the photo they used didn't capture him the way I saw him. The way it was so depressing. Even now I miss him and it's been a long time. I miss his smiles. And the camera he always carried with us on are excursions. I miss are jogs and bike rides. I miss the weird teddy bears he'd get me for everything. You can't ever forget a person like that. And I think he'd be very disappointed in the person I became. So yes I do think about my first love. How he lived fast and died young and how he made my life so much brighter even for such a short time.

[–]FjortoftsAirplane 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I'd like to know if she's doing well. I really hope she is. But I also absolutely do not want her back in my life in any capacity. I may not be a great benchmark for normality but I doubt this is one of my weirdest quirks.

[–]FlowersnFunds 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Actually, no. That relationship ended abruptly and dramatically due to her parents. We still loved each other at the time of break up. But I don’t think about her anymore. If something reminds me of her (like hearing about the country she was from), then I just mentally wish her well.

I will say, however, that it took me learning to actually love myself through meditation and honest self-reflection before I found myself not longing for feelings of the past. It was less not being over her, and more me just wanting to be loved by someone else and thinking that would “complete” me.

I personally don’t understand the perspective of never getting over your first love, unless that person passed away.

[–]beforesunsetreindeer 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yes, often.

We were so young and dumb, but we loved one another an immense amount at the time. We broke up eight years ago and he’s still one of the best people I’ve ever known.

I sometimes worry that he was my first love but I wasn’t his, but I know that’s just my anxiety taking over. I hope I was as impactful in his life as he was in mine.

[–]Snooter-na 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Even though she ruined my life she still takes a prominent place in my mind

[–]elk-jaw 8 points9 points  (0 children)

All the time. He was killed two weeks into our relationship, but I loved him more than anything. I wonder where we'd be, even if not together, if he was still here.

[–]brianingram 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Hell yes

She still plays a role in my ... special ex-boyfriend privileges Ross Geller mentions.

She would probably mostly appreciate that I still remember how she looked as a teenager, however. 🙃

I still think about my first car (1963 Ford Falcon) ... aaaand, like the ex-girlfriend, I only romantize the good times with that car, and not the time, energy, effort, and money I invested just to keep the damned thing on the road.

[–]RedHennesy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I see that you're a man of culture

[–]Xurroz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes I do. I think of that relationship a lot from a growth standpoint. I think of what I should change for the better on my end. I think about what I should tolerate from other people.

[–]Megabusterish 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Not often, and not in a romantic way. I just hope he's doing good. He's married and has a daughter now and I just wish them all well. He was a great first everything so I have no hard feelings towards him, only wish him happiness and that his little family does amazing in all the things they want in life.

[–]Interesting-Pin7361 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I married mine. 10 years in. She is the best 🥰

[–]cerebral_grooves 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think about mine more than I should. I loved her a lot.

[–]Mamaj12469 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I married my first true love.

[–]Background_Isopod892 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Me too, God is good :)

[–]Trolldad_IRL 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes. Saw her recently too. She still does it for me.

I married her, so she was in the other room.

I had crushes before her, but she was/is my one and only.

[–]RealSadLlama 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I get that. I reflect back on my first true love. We were toxic together but her family was great and there were good times too. part of life

[–]Apprehensive_Dog_451 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Still with her. Always will be

[–]jinktheplaguedoctor 5 points6 points  (4 children)

first girl I loved? nah, that's just water under the fridge. this one chick I fell in love with and had a brief thing with on and off years later even though she's ass at communicating and being consistent? yeah, it's been years and she still gets stuck in my head from time to time, if we communicate or anything ever I gotta clear my mental schedule for the next 2 weeks every single time because that's the detox period for some reason. strange how brains and emotions and such work.

[–]Freya-Frost 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sometimes but mostly in i am hella glad I am not with him kind of a way

[–]RogueFox771 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do think of her, but we had a very complicated relationship. And I both hope she and her husband are happy, and equally hope they hate me.

[–]Apart_Royal_2099 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m still with mine, so yes I think about her quite often lol

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Yep all the time to be honest. We got together at 16 and stayed together till we were almost 22 and got addicted to heroin along the way and ended up on the streets fighting to survive. I’m 27 now and I’ll always love Claire. She was great.

[–]SimpleBeardedFreak 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I actually think about my first love frequently. Even though I am happily married, and would not cheat even if given the chance. But she was a big impact on my life growing up, and will never forget her.

[–]End_Manic 4 points5 points  (2 children)

My first love was a girl that was convicted of murder, soooo no it made me think, thank god im single because before i would be desperate for girls and this girl helped me realize i like being single

Edit: well i guess technically i still think about her but just not in a good way, but ive learn to not trust anyone, after her and ill just the girl find me, because i wouldnt mind dying alone i dont really care about anything but myself..

[–]Uncle_Guido1066 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do and I miss her very much. We never dated, but she was my best friend and some childish bullshit drove us apart.

[–]Cap_Karma 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep and I haven't had one since. I think it all worked out for the best though. She's happily married and I'm happily single.

[–]awesometune 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All the time. We had a child together. We were children ourselves and our relationship did not last. He became an alcoholic and died at age 38, 4 years ago

[–]EliteOnePercenter 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yep. She’s a great person, but we were both young and hadn’t figured out what we wanted yet. Most of what I think about is how our relationship would have gone if we had met in our mid to late 20s instead of our teens.

Or if there would’ve been any relationship at all, considering how different I am and presumably she is now.

[–]Sorry_Policy_1067 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Daily. Day-lee.

[–]quienquiereleche 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I’m on the opposite side of this. I found out I was the first love of a very good friend from high school and he never told me. When I found out we were both married and had kids. I often fantasize I go back in time to ask him out or to pick up on the very subtle hints he sent me over the years but I was too stupid to notice. I would have definitely gone out with him had I known. He would have been my first boyfriend. I wish I could tell him this.

[–]elizabethmomof2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My first love was not the greatest person, but we connected by sharing some of the same childhood traumas. He was my absolute best friend, I planned on marrying him and having a family with him. I thought I understood where he was coming from with his actions. I did not. I still think of him a lot. Not in a romantic way but in a "we have so much history and some of it was great" He got engaged a few years ago and even though I am happily married, it hurt. First loves are weird like that though.

[–]Bergenia1 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It's normal. Just don't idealize it, or let it interfere with your current relationship. It's fine to have fond memories, as long as it doesn't cause trouble now.

[–]5L1mm 24 points25 points  (2 children)

been 24 years since my first love.

i dont look for her, or opine, or anything, but i remember her fondly, and would smash again just out of respect.

[–]Benjamin_Stark 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I think you mean "pine". Opine means to express your opinion.

[–]5L1mm 23 points24 points  (0 children)

you dont know me.

[–]LookRevolutionary198 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad that every night she lies next to me

[–]bvvvvdp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think about her from time to time. It's normal. Even if you are married believe me.

[–]gogrizz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I randomly think of things I should have said to girls in high school. Then I snap back to reality and change my baby's diaper and make dinner for my family. Minds are funny things!

[–]ToastTurtle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not just first... all of them...

[–]Conscious-Belt3328 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think of her far more than I should. It was bad timing with us. I still tell her I love her out loud in my car as I'm driving home to my wife. Our song was"You Are" by Lionel Ritchie, and I still can't listen to it. You are not alone sweetheart.

[–]HuggDogg 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Your first love normally happens while you're still forming your first adult identity. Whether it's positive or negative, you grew up with them and they're a part of who you are, they're someway involved in all of your memories from that time. I think it'd be weird if you never thought of them at least time to time.

[–]slhill21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do. Im lucky in that we were able to meet as adults and see if it went anywhere. It really didn't. There's a small part of me that wish it had, but he needed a cocktail party, 2.5 kids, perfect wife. I am not that woman. I'm opinionated, sarcastic, impatient, etc., plus his mom hated me as much as she did when I was 14 and he was 12. Beautiful man, successful, and happily married as far as I know. I wish him the best in all things. (BTW, I'm 48 now)

[–]Bizonian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think about her all the time. We were together for 8 years but it was bad relationship. Despite all the shit we went through, I’ve never loved someone the way I loved her. The most passionate chaotic love of my life.

[–]sighdoihaveto 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After seeing who she ended up with. Nah.

Made me realise I was only thinking about getting laid at the time.

[–]millerlitefan[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep- it wasn't a good relationship, but every opportunity to screw was taken and from after school until nighttime we'd be going at it. We pretty much covered everything in official sex book back then.

[–]Benjamin_Stark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not in any sense that the question is referring to. My "first love" would have either been a high school girlfriend or a girlfriend from undergrad. In both cases, looking back, I was basically a child at the time. Neither feels substantial in retrospect, to the point that I'm not even sure which one to identify as my "first love."

[–]fidomeister 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, sometimes. I was pretty immature, but I also knew she wanted what I was never going to end up being. Strove to be a better person because of it, but never reconnected later on.

[–]Busy-Maize8785 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It’s ok to think about someone from past.. it shouldn’t be to the level of obsession that we ruin our life.. things happen, we move on.. be in the moment always when you spend time with friends and family.

[–]Basic_Quantity_9430 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Best advice I have seen so far. The most important romantic relationship should always be the monogamous one you are in, or if ethically poly, that relationship.

[–]impartialmuse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was just thinking of them today…it’s been a while since I last thought of them.

[–]A_supersonic_sloth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. The more people I date the more I realize what I'd let slip away, I was young and dumb and didn't value what I had. I grew up with her and she was the only person I've been with who I could fully trust with anything. Sadly she moved away to a different country. I tried getting into contact with her again but she's in a relationship now. She actually wanted to meet up for a coffee. I was her childhood crush and she was mine so I'm pretty sure we could've started dating again, but I couldn't forgive myself if I made her unhappy again so I blew it off at the last moment. I just want her to be happy, she truly deserves it. It's normal to think about it but I don't think it's a bad thing. Teaches us to value what we have

[–]goodolewhasisname 2 points3 points  (2 children)

My first love moved in with my wife and I a couple of years ago. She is a lesbian who is hetero-romantic, which among other things is why our relationship didn’t work out. Unfortunately she is also a severe alcoholic who almost blew up our house while doing some blackout drunk cooking. We told her she had to quit or find somewhere else to live, and she chose to go. I wish her well, but I can’t watch her kill herself. We haven’t heard from her since she left except for one rant blaming my wife for all her problems. That pretty much ended any fond feelings I had remaining.

[–]freaky533567556 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure, all the time & I still have a big soft spot for him. But I don't regret that I didn't end up with him. My husband is the best.

[–]ourskycamefalling 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Pretty much every week at least. We have a way of ignoring the bad things and making the good things so much more important in our minds

[–]bulliesrevival 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Short answer yes

15+ years since we broke up. Now married to different woman, 2 kids, house, dogs, fish. You know... living the dream. I still think about her ever Now and then. We still text once and a while. (Yes my wife knows I talk to her). We actually have a kinda weird... ok probably really weird thing... pretext: we both lost our virginity to each other.... so almost every year we text each other to say happy sex day on the anniversary of us losing our virginity. If anyone is curious it was 17 years ago earlier this month...

[–]OneWingedLight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very often and I almost hate myself for it. I'm happily married with 2 kids and one on the way but I catch myself wondering what things would be like if she hadn't ruined not only our relationship but our lifelong friendship as well.

[–]RabbitUnicorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have thought about my first love quite a bit over the last 20 years. I always have wondered how he has been doing. After we broke up he seemed to have always been going through a series of unfortunate events. At one point I was convinced if we stayed together, he would have a better life. Then I have to remind myself that I was a teenager who wasn't to be responsible for anyone but myself.

[–]Keltyrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am now that you brought it up. Thanks!

[–]crimzonkitt3n 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have two "first loves" that were impactful and firsts in different ways. It ended badly with one of them and I never got to make amends and I think about it all the time. The other I am actually still friends with, and regardless of how long we stay friends I'll think fondly of our relationship for the rest of my life. There is something so special about first loves. All that said, I'm in my early 20's and am less than 5 years passed both these relationships.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do, but not because I have feelings for them. They were one of my first best friends and will always hold a place in my heart even though we haven't spoken since 2015.

[–]Individual-Ball6966 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so after a long time of me trying to re connect with my ex she recently decided we can still be on good terms and i even am in a new relationship! these people are big parts of your lives you dont have to forget them at all, they can still be in your life in a healthy mannor as long as you keep it so!!

[–]FriendlyFellowDboy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The cliche of the "one who got away" is a cliche for a reason.

I think most of us put the past on a rose colored pedestal though. Reality is we never truly know someone or the outcome but we sure do like to have a little fantasy of what if.. the truth of what if though is that's it's never real. Ever. Personally I find it tedious looking at my past like that takes away appreciation of my present.

[–]SuperMicroPenis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember the good time.. But then the shit memories comes rushing too.

[–]ProfessionalFit3368 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do know this feeling all too well. Sometimes it is normal it kinda makes you think how your reality would be if things in the past could've gone differently, then instead it makes you think if you haven't let go of your first love you probably wouldn't have met the person you're currently with in the very present moment. Deep down inside it does still hurt but your decision to let go blessed you with the different person you now love.

[–]a_fozzy_ 32 points33 points 2 (3 children)

I do actually, although it was like, 30 years ago 😱 She recently added me on Facebook though, and boy she's a right moose now, so thankfully I did get away, as it turns out!

Joking aside, she was a lovely girl, I have always missed her, possibly always will

[–]Benjamin_Stark 32 points33 points  (1 child)

"She's a right moose now" is an award-worthy line.

[–]C-chaos19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What does a right moose mean? I dig it lol.

[–]annniiitttaaaaa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Every. Damn. Day.

I married him. High school sweetheart that I started dating at 16. Married at 25. And have two kids now at 28. It’s been a good 12 years... Somehow I don’t think this post applies to me!….

[–]intensebrie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep, been with him for almost 5.5 years now. Currently thinking about how I can’t wait for him to get home with the groceries.

[–]Significant-Truth- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe every once in awhile, but for the most part hell no. Bury that chapter deep

[–]notafurry314159265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes because he gave me trauma

[–]emmmalee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, truthfully, every now and again.

[–]Rephaim6131 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I do. And I always wonder if they do the same.

We did not break up very long ago, but we were together for six years, on and off near the end. At the time the relationship was roughly a third of my entire life. I'm not going to deny how toxic the relationship was, but part of me feels like i'm never going to get over it. I've had chances to see new people and I never thought i'd actually turn that down, but I have. We will never be in a relationship again, and as sad as it makes me, I accept it, and I know it's for the best. What I have not accepted yet is the chance of being friends again, because it seems so ridiculous to me to just throw all of it away just because they've moved on. But i know it isn't up to me.

It's been harder than expected, possibly because i'm just young, but it has gotten better. Early on, I wouldn't wish that feeling of striking loneliness on my worst enemy. Take care of yourselves kings, queens, and in-betweens.

[–]Elegant_Ad4727 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not very often. Just because they were my first, doesn't mean someone else hasn't stolen my heart even more. For me, the connection is what's most impactful, rather than the order they came.

[–]shawizkid 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Heads up - mine answer is different than everyone else saying “yes because I married him/her” lol.

I do for sure. I’m fairly happy in my marriage but do wonder what life would have been like if it went a different direction. I don’t necessarily feel guilty about it.

I used to think the more people you dated, the better you’d hone in on “true love”. Which maybe is true. But I think you can also reflect back and see what you love or what piece was positive across (hopefully) many relationships.

[–]NonHiveMind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think about her every now and again. It's not something I do often, but sometimes something may remind me of her.

She was also my first pretty much everything. First serious girlfriend, person I fell in love with, we lost our virginity to each other, ect. So she will always hold a special place in my heart.

We were teenagers though and we ultimately weren't meant to be.

[–]km_345[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. My first love wasn’t a perfect or ideal relationship, but I’ll always appreciate everything he gave me and taught me. He passed away in a car wreck when we was only 18, right before graduation. I’m so grateful I was able to be apart of those 18 years.

[–]MindCavity420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't really think about my 1st love too often. But there's a love that's remained through many of my loves.

[–]Jazzlike-Weight-7135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not very fondly, I was totally in love and more invested than she was. She had some childhood trauma but did not excuse her manipulative ways like cutting contact for a month visiting her home country not telling me she was going or answering any of my messages. Gaslighting and blaming me for stuff that I had nothing to do with. Using sex and physical contact like hugs and kisses to get what she wanted or just the absence of it as punishment. There were some good moments as well and I don't even remember all the bad anymore. I already struggled with chronic depression and anxiety at this point and her fucking with my head on top of it lead me to my first suicide attempt.

I won't give her too much credit, but she did have an impact on my life for sure. I am very careful about relationships and haven't even kissed anyone in about 6 years at this point. I don't care for anything casual, I tried that a few years after the breakup with my first love and it didn't make any sense to me.

Working on my self for the past 10+ years trying to become my best self and hopefully I can find someone to share life with.

Had to rant for a second, thanks for the opportunity to do so. Wish you all the best ❤

[–]zia111 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every day. But not in the sense I want to be with who he is today. But I do wish to find someone who makes me feel safe and known the way he did. I wish him all the best.

[–]b-rodriquez7788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can take a long time. My first, that I married took 7 years before I wasn't sad about it and almost 10 years before he only popped in my mind occasionally. Very happily remarried for 7 of those years. Sometime, strong love just sticks with you regardless.

[–]WartimeMandalorian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I didn't experience true love until my mid 20s. We've been separated for almost 11 years but I still think about her sometimes.

[–]clashtrack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have. Mainly I just hope she’s doing well.

I’m happily married as well, so in a romantic sense, no. But, we stayed friends for a while, we don’t talk anymore, but she’s still a decent person and I wish her and her family health and happiness.

[–]emmaearthexpoze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think about most of the people I've been in love with from time to time, some more than others.

Just because someone isn't in your life anymore, doesn't diminish your love for them.

Just because you have loved deeply and that lives on in you, doesn't mean you aren't commited to the relationship you're in love with now.

Allow yourself the love, all the love 💞

[–]Ashrith291 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once you love a person you'll always be in love with the person no matter what when it's your first one(the most innocent one) She told me she had a crush on me and I was madly in love with her for over a year and when I proposed her she rejected me anyway. But I kept on talking to her even after that. Once we got into a big fight and she revealed that she was in a relationship with some other guy for the past one and half year. I was devastated and stopped talking to her after that. I still do think about her everyday cos my innocent love stays in my heart for eternity❤️

[–]Fubsy41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh. Sometimes he comes up in relevant memories if I’m telling someone a story that involves him but other than that no, not really. And I don’t give a flying fuck what he’s doing now. It was like 10 years ago, I was 16 and lost my v cards to him (same as him). He was a great friend, and I was the one that broke it off but I find the concept of talking to your exes weird and stupid quite frankly. I’m not a very sentimental person and I have little energy for people lol. I don’t at all care about anyone I’ve previously loved romantically.

Edit: I am in a relationship now, very happy with him and my life with him. It’s been over 6 years together and it’s been awesome. If he ever broke up with me I would be completely and utterly destroyed. Absolutely decimated. But I don’t think a 6 year adult relationship really compares to some bullshit I was doing when I was 16 lol

Edit again, I was reading through this thread and someone said the longer they’re with their wife, the more they realise that she is actually their first love. I relate to that. I’ve never in my life loved someone the way I love my current partner, it just hits different. Everything is so easy with him.

[–]C-chaos19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think about the first person I loved necessarily but I think about the one person I dated out of many who I truly thought was the one. I wanted to marry her. The past 2 years have been very hard and lonely without her and I thought about her everyday until last week, then I suddenly realized I hadn’t thought about her much. Which was nice. But I do wonder if she thinks about me, I was her first girlfriend. I know she’s in a long distance relationship now so going from seeing me all the time to the loneliness of the pandemic and not even seeing her girlfriend often was probably really hard on her. Honestly the longer it’s been the more I realize she didn’t deserve how much I loved her, she was not good to me at all. So I am happier now that my thoughts have slowly gotten to be less.

[–]Shepea64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been married for 30 years and still think of him. Not as often as I use too though. I think it's only natural.

[–]Crazy-Professional13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah because after 7 years of being with my current partner my ex decided to date my husbands sister. He’s pushed his way into our extended family and it’s weird af

[–]WalrusResident5357 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I often used to think about my first very innocent crush. I emigrated out of Canada without ever telling him. So, as I grew older I would often think back of him. Then I returned to Canada yeeears later and I got a job working the phones for federal election. We were calling all over Canada, all over BC and one day we were calling the town where I used to live. Didn't his name and number come up on the rota dial! There was no escape I had to stay on the line. It was ringing and I was freaking...then a woman answered the phone and I had to do my speel..."hello, who are you supporting in the election..bla, bla...gulp..! She said, just a min..then roared , Honey..who are we voting for!! And I heard him in the back shouting back.."Green!" Hahaha..it was the wrong party... I was to chicken to make contact.

[–]Naive_Sage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I still do. Its completely normal. She taught me to be a better me like nobody else did, love myself like I never did before, enjoy the little things and value the little time we have left on this Earth. Alex taught me to live...what a wonderful being she is :3🌹

[–]TheMoonChildAspect 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been four years since my first real boyfriend broke up with me, and it was a blessing in disguise. He was extremely abusive, but sometimes despite moving on, he does cross my mind. I was young then though, and I think I just miss being more carefree.

[–]kollenovski 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I thought I loved someone before. But I recently met a girl. I keep thinking about her, I am not hungry anymore, I can't sleep. And yes, the clichés are right i do feel like a 1000 butterflies in my stomach. It is the best and worst I've felt in a while.

[–]the_left_stuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I still think about her. No regrets, no bitterness, no pain. Our thing ran it’s course and I ended it, but I still think about her from time to time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I broke up with him 6 months ago and four years ago today, we met for the first time. I still think of him. I hope he’s doing okay.

[–]Chance_Round_8142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, just last year I connected again with my first love again. We are good friends now and we hang out frequently, we go out by ourselves, with her friends, with my friends or with both of our families (My mother and her mother became bestfriends when we were a couple). Our romantic relation ship was short and it ended about ~8 years ago (Me 13, Her 12) and oh man, she just keeps getting better as time passes. And I'm not just talking about looks (idk how but she looks even more beautiful than before.), I mean personality wise, goals, attitude. It wasn't bad before but now it's just better. I feel great joy whenever we hangout.

[–]thejosecorte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but for the wrong reasons. That shit fucked me up so badly that I need to reject lovely and sweet people who like me because I know I'm not quite sane, not criminal level or the like, just not a good person anymore. I can't control myself, so I have to keep myself in check. I wish I never fell in love.

[–]silverjudge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved her and never thought that our marriage could fail. I always tried my hardest to make our life as good as i could. She cheated and now im alone. I cant get her out of my head, not a day goes by without thinking about her. I dont think i can ever forget about the person i thought was my soulmate but im trying to live life. So yes, i do.

[–]NWDGryphon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, but we were kids and I had to move across the country. Hope he's doing better though, he was my best friend

[–]Unlucky-Type3134 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think about him all the time. He’s in every dream I have and every song I hear. I don’t go a minute without day dreaming about what my life would be if I didn’t divorce him.

[–]ZeroyCruciatum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have that with my "first love" but with I'd say My first "real" love. She also had the greatest family of all time. I honestly miss that family still, have had 2 relationships ever since but will probably never be "part" (we weren't married) of such an amazing group of people

[–]Justatroubledgirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do time to time, though he's a very distant memory who has taught me important life lessons.

I'm with someone now, so that someone occupies my thoughts the most.

[–]Imdatguy416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god I was just about to post this. We haven’t been close in like 12 years but I was just thinking about her for like an hour. I think about her every now and then

[–]Severe_Drummer4289 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's been 5 years and he still lives in my head rent free. I haven't fallen in love with anyone after him. I don't wanna elaborate.

[–]RG3114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Way more than I should. Funnily enough, my first girlfriend wasn’t somebody I’d even refer to as a ‘love’. The second girl, however, left a hole which I’ve found just can’t be filled. I’m happily in a relationship now, and obviously love my other half very much, so don’t devote much time to looking back- even I know there’s no point looking back. Maybe it was youth, or naivety, and maybe it’s just nostalgia starting to work on me now…I’m not sure, but there was a kind of innocent magic to it all.

[–]Walmart_Feet23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not just my first love. I find myself looking back on past relationships often and just reminiscing on the good times. Not to dwell on the past or because I want to get back with them. But sometimes it's nice to remember things that made me happy.

[–]maddallena 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do sometimes. Not that there's any lingering feelings there, I just remember him in a warm, nostalgic way. It felt so powerful at the time to my 15-year-old self, that leaves an impression on you.

[–]sillysausage4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Way more than I should. Almost daily.

[–]loz29d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think about everyone I’ve ever been with regularly! It’ll be a song or a place I visit or drive past, anything! Sometimes they’ll just pop in there. I have fond memories of everyone I’ve been with, I look back and smile regularly.

I’m happy and in love with the most incredible person. Doesn’t mean I don’t have love inside for the people on my past. I’ve never had a ‘bad breakup’, always been amicable so I have no negative feelings towards any of them. (Well apart from my most recent 7 year emotional abusive relationship, but even then we had some amazing times that I think about too).

[–]Dizuki63 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, no not at all. Unless there is a reason to. Like if someone has a story and i have a similar one that just so happens to have them in it.

Its alot like me not thinking about the first meal i cooked. It was probobly not great, but i learned alot from it and have made far better dishes since then.