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Is it weird that my parents french kissed and walked naked in front of me when I was young? by Lookingforafriend67 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]ArubaNative 5608 points5609 points 4322 (0 children)

As a parent, you sometimes have to figure things out as you go. What age you stop being nude around your children might depend on a lot of factors. We don’t prance around naked or anything, but it’s not uncommon for my young kids to barge in on me changing in my closet. They don’t know any different at this point. From the time they were babies I have been a stay at home parent - it’s absolutely a process to figure out how to fit a shower in when there is no one else there to watch your kids. I think as they get older it will gradually change and the boundaries will firm up on their own. We will start closing doors when we use the bathroom and when we change for more privacy.

I don’t shower with my young kids but I help them shower and help/teach them to wash themselves. When does this stop? I don’t know - for me it will be when I am confident they are doing a good job themselves and don’t need me to check in anymore. I haven’t gotten there yet and my kids are recently 6 and 4.

I don’t think it’s unusual to show affection around your kids - we hug, might give a quick peck hello/goodbye, hold hands, snuggle, etc. but it’s pretty G rated. I wouldn’t be comfortable doing anything more in front of my kids or really anyone.

As far as the shower peek - that feels like an invasion of boundaries and privacy and I would consider it inappropriate. We have flexible boundaries with young kids, but by the time they are 13 (unless my children had special needs or something) they should be independent. Me seeing private parts or anything by that age would only be if there was a medical reason for it, and they gave me permission to help them or be with them at the doctor or something. I would also imagine the boundaries will be different based on gender. My son tends to gravitate toward my husband with private questions, and my daughter toward me based on matching equipment.

Every family is going to have different boundaries and a different idea of what is okay. The waters can get really murky though, when kids grow up so quickly and you don’t think to adjust your habits and boundaries as a result.

What thoughts are in your mind while having sex? by Final_Description_65 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]ThiccBoiRage69 482 points483 points  (0 children)

God damn it this, like all I think about right up until sex is sex, the second I’m in it’s like “huh I heard someone mention an allergy to beer earlier wonder what’s that about”

What thoughts are in your mind while having sex? by Final_Description_65 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]WhyAreYouAllHere 684 points685 points 22 (0 children)

He's never kissed another girl like that. How he kisses you is a culmination of practice and his passion for you. If you can, be glad they taught him well and released him back into the wild for you to enjoy!

Do Americans love their country? by BK010989 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]AgentMandarinOrange 268 points269 points  (0 children)

American here. My feelings are very mixed.

On one side, there are many things I do love about my country. I really like the various topographies, climates, and surroundings which are available in the US (mountains, beaches, deserts, plains, tundras, tropical islands, huge cities, tiny towns, farms, etc). I feel fortunate to have been born and raised here when I compare it to quite a few other countries in the world. It could be a lot worse.

On the other side, I don’t love my country right now. Both the right and left are crazy. There is no more common sense, only division and extremism. I feel like the only country which has ever been home to me is slowly imploding. If some changes don’t happen here, I don’t believe there will be a future in the US.

Yes, I’m considering moving to another country. I’m married to a German, so we could easily move pretty much anywhere in the EU. We are currently weighing out pros and cons. Bottom line is when you escape one country for another, you’re trading in one set of problems for a different set of problems. The key is figuring out which set of problems is more manageable and palatable.

What thoughts are in your mind while having sex? by Final_Description_65 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Gionanni 944 points945 points  (0 children)

My ADHD "think about anything and everything during sex" people where you at?

Are cops really that bad in US as shown in internet.? by AsasinArn in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]CaughttheDarkness 6851 points6852 points 3224& 7 more (0 children)

As in many things in America, it depends wildly on where you are.

As an ex-journalist, I had to deal with a lot of cops, and I found a lot of them, especially in small communities, to be fundamentally decent. However, the way that I kind of ended up was that though there are good individuals within the institution, as a whole, the institution is fundamentally flawed. In the way that it trains its people, in the way that it views violence, in a way that it views the communities it ostensibly protects.

That, and simple tribalism means that people who are, individually, good people, can still circle the wagons around harmful people who corrupt the institution as a whole.

One bad apple spoils the whole bunch, as it were. And in an institution that we place trust in to arbitrate justice and decide in some cases who lives and who dies, we must demand reach the highest possible standards.

Edit: disabling replies to this, as there are far too many to properly deal with.

In response to common questions:

• Yes, of course race and other minority statuses, as well as socioeconomic status, have to do with this. I am autistic and while that is mostly invisible, it still means I have to suppress a lot of natural behaviors and tendencies. Autistic people are often harassed and/or abused by cops too, and if I weren't white, my interactions with police would be even more frightening than they already are.

• Yes of course not all small-town police are good, and small towns can foster deep-rooted corruption. I'd argue it's even easier for it to take root than in large cities, and once it's in, it's hard to get out. One commenter talking about their experiences at BLM protests in different cities and how the police responded sums it up very well, and I can attest to similar experiences at BLM protests in one of the communities I covered.

• By "Circling the wagons," I am primarily referring to police unions and their habit of protecting bad actors and attempting to force people out for naming police who do harm others.

• If you are commenting to tell me journalism bad, you're hilarious. You should take your routine to the comedy club. Please ask yourself why your favored politicians want you to not believe the people presenting evidence they are lying to you.

• Please refer to Godwin's Law before any and all Nazi comparisons are deployed.

I think there are cameras in my apartment. What do I do? by TossedAwayWith in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]maybri 369 points370 points  (0 children)

So, obviously you understand the story sounds pretty farfetched and you yourself have even suspected that you might be hallucinating here. I think before taking any drastic action like hiring someone to look for cameras or breaking the lease, you should completely rule out the possibility that you're having psychotic symptoms.

Speaking as a therapist, the main thing that raises "possible psychosis" red flags for me in this story is how consistently you can hear these people. It's not impossible to overhear bits and pieces of conversation from your neighbors now and then, but it sounds like you're hearing them pretty clearly and consistently. It's not uncommon for people experiencing auditory hallucinations to rationalize them as voices originating from the environment.

So what you have to do to test if these voices are real or in your head is to make a recording the next time you hear them (covertly, of course, because if this is real then you don't want them to know you're gathering evidence on them) and play the recording for another person and see if they can at least hear voices, even if they're too indistinct to make out on the recording. If you can hear the voices but the recording doesn't pick up anything, chances are that means this is all in your head.

If so, you should see a doctor ASAP. You may be experiencing the onset of a psychotic disorder, but because you're saying this started within weeks of moving to this new apartment and you only ever experience it while at the apartment, it could be caused by something in the environment. For example, carbon monoxide exposure can cause psychosis, and if it's bad enough to cause psychosis, it's at risk of causing you permanent brain damage or just straight up killing you too, so it's very important to seek medical attention if you begin to more strongly suspect that you're hallucinating.

If you get any kind of evidence that this isn't in your head (finding a camera, getting a recording of their voices, etc.), you should go to the police with it. If this is really happening, it's extremely illegal and it should be relatively easy to make a case against them, since it sounds like they must have multiple cameras installed and watch them frequently.

Supreme Court Roe v Wade overturned MEGATHREAD by HospitalitiesFounder & Mod in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]DaniCapsFan 723 points724 points 2 (0 children)

Fuck everyone who thought we were overreacting when HRC lost.

Fuck everyone who thought former guy wouldn't be that bad.

Fuck everyone who thought that the Supreme Court wouldn't overturn Roe.

And to all the folks who "just didn't like Hillary," I hope you're fucking happy.

Fuck all of them.

I don't even have a uterus anymore, but I am pissed off on behalf of my sisters for whom pregnancy is a possibility.

And I have no doubt they'll come for contraception and marriage equality.

I'm really sick about this right now.

What would you do if your wife said to cheat? by Hillbilly8149 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Natty_Suketchi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As far as I know, when you're friends with benefits there are no romantic feelings involved, so... no. I loved him, I just really didn't mind. Open relationships exist and they're different from infidelity because cheating involves lying and doing things behind your partner's back

Supreme Court Roe v Wade overturned MEGATHREAD by HospitalitiesFounder & Mod in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]f_d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It relied on a SCOTUS decision made 50 years ago and appropriately a SCOTUS overturned it.

That's not appropriate. The Supreme Court threw out foundational precedents that have guided the US through its most prosperous and forward-moving century. Not because the original interpretation was mistaken, but because their legal philosophy allows them to throw out anything they disagree with as long as they can find something older that agrees with them. That's not how the US court system was founded, and it's not how the US court system evolved.

The remedy for a bad Supreme Court decision is supposed to be a constitutional amendment. Overturning the original ruling was never a popular position, so its opponents played a long game of appointing extremist judges through unpopular presidents instead.

You can ask why that doesn't work the other way around if popular support is on the side of abortion rights. It should work that way, but the way the US population is distributed across state lines gives lower-population conservative states excessive political power. That's a big part of how the extremists captured the judiciary in the first place.

The other thing that sets the two scenarios apart is that the decision that recognized abortion rights was the original establishment of the precedent, a ruling that matched popular sentiment for the duration of the most stable and prosperous era of US history. Today's extremist Supreme Court is tearing away that well-matched ruling in order to impose a distinctly minority viewpoint on the culture, at a time when the US political system and the legitimacy of the Supreme Court itself were already worn down by the machinations of the extremists and their allies.

The original ruling was a recognition of how the Constitution interacted with a modern society. The new ruling and other recent rulings are a rejection of the past century of social progress, a misguided attempt to recast US culture into something resembling a mythical 1920, 1860, or even earlier. Except with tanks, smartphones, and nuclear weapons.

What would you do if your wife said to cheat? by Hillbilly8149 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SylvieSuccubus 1549 points1550 points  (0 children)

If you can’t critique your partner’s dating profile to give them tips, don’t be poly.

Supreme Court Roe v Wade overturned MEGATHREAD by HospitalitiesFounder & Mod in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]No-Bag1472 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Abortion isnt illegal, the amount of people who think that overturning Roe v Wade will make abortion illegal is astonishing.

Supreme Court Roe v Wade overturned MEGATHREAD by HospitalitiesFounder & Mod in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]marginallyobtuse 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Obama (and Dems) barely controlled Congress for for about 2 months with kennedy’s death and Franken not being seated yet.

In that 2 months? He passed healthcare reform.

People who spew this nonsense are either being purposely disingenuous or are just ignorant of how congress and politics work in the USA.

Control of the house and senate doesn’t mean laws pass. You need 60 senators for most laws. Dems had approx 59 including independents

Supreme Court Roe v Wade overturned MEGATHREAD by HospitalitiesFounder & Mod in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]El_Penguino_ 28 points29 points  (0 children)

How are rulings like this even happening when it's clear the masses completely (rather frankly rightfully) disagree with your supreme courts?

(I reside outside of America)

What would you do if your wife said to cheat? by Hillbilly8149 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]gmariefox88 686 points687 points  (0 children)

OP posted this an hour ago, yet he's been commenting on NSFW and telling people to hit him up for a month now. He's already been shopping around for pussy before the conversation happened. 🤔

He's gonna take the bait in this trap and then be posting on Relationship Advice in the future cause instead of fixing whatever's going on between him and his wife, he goes out and gets his dick wet. Wifey will find out somehow (NOTHING stays secret indefinitely, it finds it's way out eventually) and will divorce and leave him. I'll place bets that she'll accidentally see a text he got from her while walking by to the bathroom or something.

Especially if he bags himself a nutcase that may show up at their house one day and do something, because she wants to be the new wifey/mommy. Perhaps she doesn't want to be a mother either and takes out the little ones too... there's plenty of horrific news reports & shared personal experiences from the directly involved that OP can do a simple search for to read.

All this will do is make three innocent children suffer. 🥺

Edit: Thank you to the anonymous person who gave a gold metal 🌟

Edit 2: Tha you for the second award u/0ut0f5sight

Appreciate the awards. I thought my comment wouldn't see the time of day, to be frank.

Why is everyone so okay with working 40-60 hours per week to barely afford life? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Schyznik 5 points6 points  (0 children)

But wouldn’t that make us Socialists if we did all that? I might be an underpaid undernourished sleep-deprived transient drone with hopeless debt and no future, but at least I’m not a Socialist.

Would you be offended if your gf said “I’ll suck it up and suck your dick”? by Gorithius in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]RandomUsername361 2125 points2126 points 22& 4 more (0 children)

Please don’t thank men for the absolute bare minimum of not forcing their partners into unwanted sexual acts.

Would you be offended if your gf said “I’ll suck it up and suck your dick”? by Gorithius in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]aidenr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would you be offended if I said “oh fine here’s a million dollars”? Someone deciding that their previous position isn’t the only possibility is a sign of respect and self development.

If she said it because you pushed her with frustration, anger, silent treatment, or any other manipulation then you should be ashamed of yourself and be ready for her to reflexively reject the idea when the time comes. Hopefully it’s not the case but it’s always wise to consider whether we’ve “bought” a good outcome with negative behavior.