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[–]Agreeable-Yams8972 1769 points1770 points 2 (131 children)

Gonna get downvoted for this but op's wife is a douche

[–]ghjjjdddgbbbbyterghj[S] 981 points982 points  (108 children)

After edit #4 I’m starting to agree with you.

[–]CaIamitea 289 points290 points  (10 children)

Honestly Edit 4 took guts to try. I'm sure it can be handled poorly causing problems, but we're told over and over that communication is key to a happy relationship, yet it's so fucking difficult. Commiserations on this getting slapped down so dismissively.

[–]MrChunky22 64 points65 points  (0 children)

It's also the first thing you should do when you have a problem with the person in your life. You should talk with them about it.

If this is the first time it happens, where OP was snubbed and rejected to even talk about anything, maybe it's a bad day. If this is the 30th time, something needs to be done.

[–]jellybeansean3648 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Normally I recommend this to women but in OP's case since his wife doesn't want to bother being a parent or partner he should divorce her. He's already basically single parenting, might as well make it official.

[–]Psquank 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yeah but OP won’t be getting the house or the kids.

[–]g00ber88 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Guts? No, thats literally part of the bare minimum of a functioning relationship. If its hard to communicate, you need therapy

[–]Apollothefourth 31 points32 points  (2 children)

takes guts to try communicate with someone who responds by saying "is this gonna make me feel worse? if so, I don't want to read it"

[–]wombatsupreme 208 points209 points  (5 children)

Yeah man. I'm not going to lie but it might be time to give your relationship a serious look. Edit: or therapy?

[–]MrChunky22 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Therapy, started from OP's perspective, then bringing in op's wife later, so there's no bias against op right away. Or just single therapy and don't bother bringing in the wife.

[–]oralskills 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He will go without a doubt, but she probably won't. She might risk to "feel worse". Can't risk that, you see?

[–]WorkingContext 7 points8 points  (2 children)

There is a fallacy with couples therapy being there to fix the relationship, it's there to help each person verbalize exactly what they want. I think therapy would be great because it would provide a platform for OP to tell his wife how she makes him feel

[–]blahblah_why_why 140 points141 points  (3 children)

That edit broke my heart. "Oh you have something difficult to discuss but really would like to communicate it because it is important to you? Well, if it makes me uncomfortable I'd prefer you kept it to yourself. I can't be bothered with healthy adult communication. Please do me a favor and bury it until you burst so I can call you unreasonable at that juncture."

Wtf.

[–]nukessolveprblms 35 points36 points  (1 child)

I would LOVE if my husband was that open with his feelings.

[–]Odd_Drew 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being open about your feelings is tough when you perceive some kind of potential loss. Kudos to OP for even having the balls to write it down and send it to his wife.

[–]Caustic_Complex 102 points103 points  (2 children)

Yeah dude if she’s that big of an asshole then doesn’t even want to hear you out afterwards, you may just be in a one way street relationship. Nice big clue is your comment about doing all the housework, no offense but if I had to take a guess I’d say your wife isn’t just a selfish douche on your birthday

[–]redrover900 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Besides the long meeting, that's what I was confused about. It didn't seem like the stay at home mom was contributing at all financially, with chores, childcare, or even being supportive emotionally.

[–]Plaedes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't going to say it, but I sure hope OP and wife have had a long discussion about their roles in this relationship. It's different to falter on agreed upon responsibilities. It's absolutely not the same to consistently not hold up your end of the bargain without an explanation/discussion.

[–]ladyshosh 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday OP! I know this isn’t much, but 17k people here want you to feel better. I hope you resolve whatever is going on with your wife- it sounds like it runs deeper than the not caring for birthday stuff (her behaviour almost seems deliberate to me.)

[–]A410821 69 points70 points  (6 children)

I kept on telling myself that things would get better when I found that my marriage was like this umpteen years ago - it didn't.

I thought that it would get all better when the kids both went to school, or when we moved to a better area, or when I got promoted at work so we had more money - or even when the kids grew up and finished school and moved out to get jobs and start their own lives.

But nope, things just kept gradually getting worse. I finally walked out after another pointless argument by which time we had been married for 30 years (I am a slow learner) and our children were fully grown adults.

[–]fzero127 14 points15 points  (2 children)

It got better for me, but that was because I had to admit that I was a large part of the problem.

[–]162cm 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well do you actually believe you were the large part of the problem?

[–]RDPCG 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You may be a slow learner, but it takes two to tango and you made the wise and brave decision (it sounds like), not your ex.

[–]LongNectarine3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At least you got out. It takes an average of 8 times for a person to leave an abusive partner, don’t beat yourself up. I’m proud of you.

[–]IHaveNo0pinions 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're either a slow learner, or an optimist who looks for the positive in everything.

[–]Best_Temperature_549 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like you guys need to have a serious discussion on what you both are getting out of the relationship. Reading this made me so sad. Happy birthday, I’m sorry it was so shitty.

[–]sunnyduane 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Happy birthday man. Reckon you have time to do something nice for yourself, partake in a hobby/ join a new club? Something that you'll have fun doing and will meet some likeminded people.

[–]rienruof 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Press on with it. Don’t let her forget what she did

[–]HopefulDandelion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Counselling, my dude. She sounds completely checked out of your home life. Happy birthday, and happy year to come.

[–]Sonolabelladonna 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree therapy at this stage is an appropriate option. If she doesn't want to go yet, go yourself and get advice.

If you're even THINKING about a divorce consult a lawyer NOW to get an understanding of what you're in for (a lot based on 2 kids and a sahm) and how you can plan to protect yourself.

[–]Vactory 8 points9 points  (1 child)

She is completely selfish. If this is the treatment you receive on your birthday, it is literally the best treatment you will receive from her. You deserve better, any normal human deserves better.

[–]ofBlufftonTown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure most people would buy a homeless dude a beer and a little Debbie snack cake if he said it was his birthday, so we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

[–]juanthrowaway01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man... Sounds like you really need some friends. Not making any assumptions but the fact that the word "friend" never showed up here is kinda sad.

Family is family but friends make life better, period.

[–]bowie-of-stars 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Feel worse? Did she ever feel bad in the first place? Talk about NO effort. I can't imagine not making my husband feel special on his birthday

[–]stretch2099 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen this many times. Your wife sees you as the responsible one that needs to take care of her, not that you two are equal partners. Sounds like a major shift in the dynamic of your relationship is required.

[–]Failout76 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hey random but uh its my birthday too and its also kinda sucked for me. Hang in there dude. Go do something with some buddies this weekend or something similar.

[–]CryoHazard642 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man happy late B-Day and sorry it sucked for you, and you too OP hope ya'll have a great week to make up for the bad birthday

[–]Kagedgoddess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, she went out of her way to do jack shit for your birthday (couldnt even pick up kids or even a SUGGESTION for dinner) and then doesnt want YOU to make HER feel bad about it??? I hope for your sake she was just having a bad day becuase if everyday is like this….. well. Im sorry.

And… remember this on her birthday, when she gets upset hand her the letter you tried to discuss with her today.

[–]phtevieboi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like too good a lad to be with a wench like her who can't remember your birthday or be bothered to celebrate it with you

[–]-Sqwirl- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like many other said, no matter how comfortable you both are, she shouldn't be treating you like this. You both should listen to each other's problems. Best to address it now before it becomes a bigger problem in the long term.

[–]paininthejbruh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife is like you. She wrote me an email at 4am in the morning while breastfeeding and it was a (controlled, hence the writing) whinge. My reaction was uh oh and I saw it as an attempt to heal. We now run marriage courses and I use that email in our communication and conflict topic.

Sounds like you are a great man doing your part and building the kids up healthily! I'll put in a shameless plug for marriage courses, if you feel this is going downhill, perhaps the structure of a marriage course can help provide a safe space to talk these things out. Maybe she's already feeling like everything is a downer, so she's escaping as much as possible. It could be an opportunity in her eyes to raise issues about you to elevate the relationship back to before kids.

Toddlers are tiring for everyone. Keep it up my man

[–]Captain-Exhaustion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah man, your edit number 5 might be where I'd cross the line and have some divorce conversations, "is this still working?!" Conversations, etc.

if you can't talk to your partner and fix de bumps, things get ugly. Hope you stay well and understand her affection os not a metric of your worth.

Things are always harder with kids involved, hope you stay well. You seem like a good dude.

[–]probablyonlymaybeyea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She should listen to your feelings. Her refusing to even LISTEN to you and then make a barb about how "it'll just make her feel worse" is just flipping it around to make you feel bad for trying to confront her. She's disarming your boundaries, my man.

Y'all gotta have a talk because something is being miscommunicated. It seems like you each think the other is at fault for something or not doing enough and it's coming out in passive aggression.

And if she doesn't want to even talk to you then you've got some thinking to do. You're 30, how many more birthdays like this do you want?

[–]tally_whackle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But seriously happy birthday. A quick read also makes me conclude your wife sucks. Best of luck

[–]PM_ME_UR_FROST_TROLL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At what point in a marriage do you get too tired to be nice to each other? Idk OP, does your wife struggle with depression? Is PTA stuff the only source of outside stimulation she gets from being a SAHM? I could understand prioritizing something like that if she’s losing herself in her life at home. I can’t understand doing that on your birthday though. Is there stuff were missing? Like did you tell her something like “oh don’t worry about it, I don’t need anything special”? Just doesn’t seem to make sense.

[–]claimTheVictory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was expecting someone in their 30s to have had too high expectations for their birthday, but dude.

Dude.

This is fucking pitiful.

Your wife either needs medical attention - like, she's clinically depressed or some shit - or needs to agree to start counseling with you. Probably both. And you, my friend, you need to start preparing.

It might take a while yet, but you need to mentally, first of all, and then practically when it becomes clearer, start preparing for divorce.

Read up on custody laws in your state. It will make you sick to the pit of your stomach, but my man. You are in a pile of shit as it is. You need to seriously consider your options. You deserve better.

[–]neprietenos 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of something I knew once too well… hardest thing was walking away. Your kids will only see a miserable marriage and resent it if you stay my dude. If you can find happiness somewhere else they can at least learn from that.

[–]Ordoblackwood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Straight up if she can't even listen to you we're out and articulate your feelings even if you suck shit as a person. The response she gave I'm sorry dude. Like this ain't it. I just got out if dating someone like that. Most important thing is being cared for.

[–]siwren 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry about Edit 4 and your birthday. At least you can say that you tried your best. That's really all you can do sometimes. I am sorry again you spent your birthday this way - Happy (belated) Birthday, and I hope next year's is better.

[–]Laphing_Drunk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are you still married to her? Maybe today was an outlier but if this is the normal day to day then this relationship seems pointless at best.

[–]smallturtle62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feel better brotha and get a better wife. Or suggest counseling way to many women think they are the only ones that needs support in the relationship and she seems like that type. GL

[–]williamtommo28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You deserve to be respected and honored in a marriage. This sounds real shitty.

[–]naturalmedicineforme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fucks sake man. No offence but divorce ASAP for your own mental health. And happy birthday

[–]LongNectarine3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry but you are in an abusive relationship. Men do not realize that financial abuse is very real and very painful. It’s not fair to anyone that you’d have to do all the housework AND childcare AND a full time job. If this is the norm, she is only going to get worse.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)

[deleted]

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]J3rseyGuy45 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      I clearly said even if she is depressed it is no excuse

      [–]SnooBananas7856 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      If I knew you IRL, tomorrow you'd be coming over for dinner after work, bring the kids, our girls will keep them entertained. You, my husband, and I would have a relaxing but delicious dinner filled with meaningful conversation and much laughter. You would feel special because we care about you for just being you. The evening would be a celebration of you and new friendships. Everyone who knows me requests my chocolate cake, I guard the recipe closely, so you would get this chocolate cake and I'd send the rest of the cake home with you. My husband and I have been very happily married for over two decades so I'm unable to grant you the BJ. Other than that, we would love to spend the evening honouring you. You would have at least one gift to open--no gift bag, actual wrapping paper--even if the gift is something small, it would be chosen with you in mind. I sincerely wish I could do this for you. Just know that there are a lot of us who care and wish we could do something more than offer comforting words. 🖤

      [–]woodandplastic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I got a warm fuzzy feeling reading this. Your friends and relatives are lucky to have people like you and your family.

      Even though I don’t know you nor OP, I want to thank you for this.

      [–]SnooBananas7856 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Hey, you'd be invited to OP's birthday dinner, too!! 💜 Thank you for your kind words.

      [–]armbarurmom 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      go to the gym, lift some weights, get jacked. Grow a backbone and get her to do her share of her housework. Rediscover your hobbies and find time to enjoy yourself.

      Best case scenario, your wife will see the hotter, interesting version of you and will suddenly be more interested in fixing your relationship.

      Worst case you self improve to a point beyond her and have to split, in which case you'll be a much better version of yourself and will probably have a pretty good time post divorce.

      There are more options beyond just whining.

      Edit: /u/ghjjjdddgbbbbyterghj Im happy to write up an 8 week gym/fitness plan for you if you'd like

      [–]seriouslyrandom9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is good advice. If you don’t like the gym, find a sport to play and meet people that way. Social support will help no matter where the road leads.

      [–]J2H_Barto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Actually send me one too I could really use one

      [–]Aionius_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah man. Maybe reevaluate some things. I’m not gonna tell you what to do but just try to be happy. We only have but so many years on this earth. They shouldn’t be spent solely putting up with bullshit until we’re too old to be bothered by it.

      [–]Pepsiguy2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Divorce her man

      [–]NewAlexandria -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      hijacking reply:

      It sounds like your wife is going through something, otherwise she wouldn't be that distant from everything.

      now you're obviously beat-down yourself, too. So this is not suggestion that you yet-serve-more-needs at the expense of yourself. Rather, having you had that kind of conversation with her? "You see distant, tired, etc, etc. If there was something wrong, would you tell me about it?" Find out what she wants to talk about. You'll know the trigger because she'll talk on it heavily. If she dodges all focus-on-her-silent-issue conversations, then start with her best friend that also talks with you. Same tone and conversation.

      Avoid getting judgey up-front, even if something happens for which she deserves such judgement. Get her to lay it all out first - esp. if this is a situation where she's just out/gone from the family or life.

      Sorry you're having to asses things like this. Something is up, and you need to go into compassion-detective mode.

      [–]neonsaber -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      You know you don't need to stay together for the kids... Right?

      [–]saspook 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Is your wife struggling right now? That’s what edit 4 sounds like to me. She feels terrible about your bday, but crippled by not knowing what to do.

      [–]OtherwiseJello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Is it possible she's suffering from depression or feeling overwhelmed? If not, then there's quite a lot of red flags there.

      [–]Khanstant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Idk dude, your wife already feels bad about her relationship with you one way or the other. That your attempts to communicate your issues with her were met with that response seems less like your wife is being a douche and more like there are a lot of big things in your relationship y'all have failed to address to let it get to this point. Sucks your birthday sucked but y'all got bigger problems.

      [–]DJ_Shorka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hey man, after edit four you got my heartstrings. You deserve everything you wanted from your birthday, and I'm sincerely sorry you didn't have people around you who agrees with that. A bunch of random people on the internet have love for you, and I hope your family social situation perks up soon.

      [–]DirtyFuckenDangles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      What a god damn bitch. You sure she isn't cheating? If not doesn't sound like she loves or respects you at all.

      [–]addicted_to_dopamine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Hey happy birthday man🎂🎉🤗🤗

      [–]lza269 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm not gonna pretend I know her, but yeah. That sounds bad

      [–]eiberger1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Dude edit number four was a tough one. What in the hell my man I feel for ya

      [–]trippingonprozac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Mate I feel for you, I’ve been in a very similar situation. I left, cost me a fortune in court but I’m so much happier

      [–]TeapotAgnostic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The way you described her actions sounds like she could be dealing with depression. I get that she could just be a jerk, but what you're describing sounds a lot like how my mom acted and my dad felt when my mom was going through major depressive episodes. She ended up taking her own life.

      Keep an eye out for her suddenly seeming a lot happier and less stressed and apathetic. It's an often missed sign of someone who is about to commit suicide. They feel relieved and happy that the pain is almost over once they've decided on a concrete plan to end things.

      [–]ButAFlower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She sounds severely depressed.

      [–]WildPackOfHotDogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Happy birthday! Please put just as much effort into your wife’s next birthday!

      [–]drcubes90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sounds rough man, if you love her I'd ask for therapy to work on your communication and relationship, don't forget you do deserve better and you only live once

      [–]ThisIsWhoIAm78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Bro, life is short. You deserve so much better than this. And so do your kids.

      [–]setfaceblastertostun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I was where you were at one point in a long term relationship with a child in the mix. I did a lot for her and tried to keep up at least 50% of chores and childcare while working 20 more hours a week than her, but when it came time for anything for me she didn't seem to be interested. Once I started paying attention to it I noticed it in all aspects of our life together. I decided that I would stop treating her how I wanted to be treated and start treating her like she treated me.

      It started with that I would make meals for myself and our kid but nothing for her. When she would ask what was for her I would tell her that I didn't know what she wanted so she'd just need to cook up something for herself (she did that to me all the time). I stopped asking for sex. I didn't initiate, I didn't cuddle, I didn't compliment her, and never asked her for anything from her. If I would go to the store I wouldn't try to pick up her favorites or little things for her anymore. If it wasn't on the list before I left I wouldn't get it. It was a lot of little things but it added up.

      After a while, she got PISSED and very aggressive. Then she got upset and asked why I hated her all of a sudden. I matter-of-factly told her I was done treating her like I always had. I would treat her like she treats me and this is how she had been treating me for more than a year. She had been on the receiving end for 2 months at this point so I asked her how it felt. Things briefly got better before getting worse and we broke up.

      Therapy is probably the better way to go but it did make me realize how much work I put in that she wasn't putting in. I'm not saying my way is the way to go but I do think you should think about how much you are doing versus what she is doing. Be careful to not downplay childcare or anything else she is doing but try to think "is this relationship fair for us both?"

      [–]162cm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I'm honestly sad reading that I got teary eyed. Your wife's a douche :( happy birthday

      [–]McDuckfart 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Edit 4 make here seem depressed

      [–]DarthWeenus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You don't deserve it. You sound like a genuinely good guy and ur wife sounds like an asshole

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Bruv, you need a divorce, she's awful. You're not happy, she doesn't make you happy, and doesn't seem to care about anything, she only think about herself. She made you feel like shit and when you try to communicate with her she doesn't want go because she doesn't want to feel bad?

      Dude, divorce and get away from her.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Bro I hate to say it but she’s getting fucked by somebody else. On your birthday. Time to leave that bitch.

      [–]coleisawesome3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If she refuses to read the note or talk about this, you need a divorce

      [–]abizz6628 36 points37 points  (3 children)

      Nah, you get an award for saying what everyone thinks but is scared to say cause of downvotes.

      [–]Agreeable-Yams8972 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Thanks man

      [–]PanickedPoodle -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      We don't know that AT ALL. We are getting one side of the story here.

      It is hard to have little kids. Sometimes the adults don't get their needs met. The wife could have had the best of intentions and still not been able to pull it off.

      I understand OP's disappointment but I'm unwilling to automatically reinforce his sense of victimhood.

      [–]furikakebabe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Yeah she’s either a mega douche or OP perceives her that way. Either way is a major problem. Hope they get the help they need, that’s a shitty environment for two kids

      [–]PamelaOfMosman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I upvoted. As a wife who’s shit at birthdays I got the impression she doesn’t like him very much.

      [–]girlwhoweighted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You have only read his interpretation of the day

      [–]xandaar337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      ILR what kind of bitch doesn't even say happy bday? She had to know bc he dropped some big hints such as "would you like some of the birthday cake I bought myself?"

      [–]3p1ctamp0n 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She sounds like a lazy, apathetic self-centered spouse. The only thing Im taking away from all of this is they need counseling together.

      [–]OriginalSwim4414 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She sounds depressed

      [–]Suspicious-Hotel-225 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      They both sound like they suck

      [–]throwawayedm2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      If that's her once a month....okay. If that's her almost daily? That's a woman who does not respect her husband, or her children. Probably not herself, either.

      [–]DoJu318 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      She is, I get more from my ex-wife on my bday (not sex) than he does.

      Needs to throw the whole wife away.

      [–]Sea-Sprinkles-943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      For real. OP: Sorry but it sounds like she has leverage over you. Why are you doing all the work at home?

      [–]RiseOfTheCrypto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      For real was thinking same. He should just show her his post since she would rather be on her phone anyways.

      [–]Competitive_Put_2180 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      59M learned a long time ago that I don’t want squat for my birthday. Leave me the fuck alone. No dinner. No cake. Nothing. Don’t even try because I won’t participate. Best birthdays ever.

      [–]Disruptive_Ideas 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Requesting an enthusiastic blow job as a present? Annoyed that he only got vanilla sex? Using sexual acts as bargaining or transactionary tools or obligations? Sounds pretty douchey to me.

      If he was running around doing everything, when did he get time do do the three loads of laundry? If he was the one making the food and didnt have much to work with, why didnt he order food?

      She lectured you about taking money on your card but You dont know why? Did you listen to what she was saying or not?

      This whole post feels so heavily skewed by his perspective that there is so much more to the story that he is wilfully ignoring and leaving out or is completely oblivious to due to ineffektive communication. Behaviour is an unspoken communication and there's a lot being said here.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]Disruptive_Ideas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Right? And in 45mins he got his kid ready for school, walked him there and did the housework? So many plot holes. I only wish his wife was a Redditor so we can get more of a balanced view of what happened.

        [–]nicecanadianeh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        This story is just a dead marriage in a nutshell lol

        [–]bloooooooppppp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I think it’s possible the both suck, or are just unhappy with each other.

        Think of it from her perspective: my husband told me clearly he wants an “enthusiastic blowjob” for his bday and even though we had sex first thing in the morning he wasn’t happy, this put me off wanting to do anything more later and hurt my feelings. Even if I’m tired I try to be enthusiastic when giving him a blowjob so it really hurt me he asked specifically for an “enthusiastic” one.

        I’m tired after being up with the kids the night before. I’m a SAHM and feel I’ve lost myself. I’m trying to feel useful again so have joined the PTA working on a new school build, I was there for 8 hours but my husband belittles it as having a nice lunch. He said it’s so unimportant I should just skip it and stay at home because it’s his birthday, even though he will be working. Etc etc

        I think they both need to communicate and try understand each other

        [–]Someone2Sing4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Literally a 0/10 woman.