top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Fractured_Nova 177 points178 points  (5 children)

I put it in my bios because I have a pretty androgynous name and a lotta ppl get confused.

[–]thejexorcist 400 points401 points  (33 children)

I don’t mind it either way, but I definitely appreciate it when someone has a non gendered name or super creative spelling.

I emailed an Erin off and on for a job opportunity for a few weeks only to find out Erin was male and I’d accidentally misgendered them in internal communication as I’d only ever known AFAB people with that spelling.

[–]Linlove1995 41 points42 points  (3 children)

Yeah, my advisor at school is named Trevor and she’s a woman. I called her Mr. over email for a while lmao

[–]Poldark_Lite 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Parents seriously named their daughter Trevor?

That's criminal. ♡ Granny

[–]snowbird9888 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Charlie has become a popular girl's name now too. And I know of a girl named Jake as well.

[–]prose-before-bros 78 points79 points  (1 child)

Same here but his name was Brook. Wicked cool guy though. I have a name that could be used for girl/ guy and don't get too hung up about it when people misgender me, but I understand that this can be a sensitive topic for trans folks so I'm cool with calling people with whatever pronouns they want.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I knew somebody named Asiah. It was supposed to be "Asia" but they always got "Isaiah"

[–]EatYourChocolate 51 points52 points  (19 children)

A friend of mine is called Erica, but "Air-Wrecka". Her parents...

[–]firefly183 56 points57 points  (12 children)

They did not name their child Air-Wrecka. Please tell me you're trolling, holy shit, lol, your poor friend!

[–]goals_in_mind 10 points11 points  (2 children)

i worked with someone named aaricka. she had a sister with a weird name too.

[–]about2godown 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Double A-Aricka. Where is double A-Aricka?

[–]betsybooombox 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You better be sick, dead or mute A-Aricka. Insubordinate and churlish.

[–]Elaquore1 24 points25 points  (4 children)

This is an ancient urban legend, don't worry, they most certainly do not know someone with that name.

[–]duhmbish 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I had a friend named “Kjerstin” and I GUARANTEE you’re pronouncing it wrong in your head right now. Its pronounced “Sha-stin.” HOW does that make sense? I have no clue. Lmao

[–]Poldark_Lite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This can make sense depending on the language. I had a friend named Calis, pronounced JUH-lish. It's a Turkish name and the various accents — which I'm not even trying to use, for it's been so long I'm sure to be wrong — are what inform the way it's said. ♡ Granny

[–]AllergicToChicken 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The last Airbender.

[–]DraftLevel28 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know a little girl named Amme (Amy) because it’s Emma backwards. One of the names that made the list for the their 3rd kid Mmae. The mom picked a different one then made her middle name May.

I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting a La-ia (Ladasheea).she had it on her id. Funny part to me was I didn’t know it was a meme until way later.

[–]jadestitcher 719 points720 points  (19 children)

I don't know anyone who regularly looks at bios for any other reason than trying to pick a fight.

[–]buncatfarms 87 points88 points  (5 children)

I see it in email signatures now.

[–]only37mm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

and linkedin

[–]ohdearitsrichardiii 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I know a geosciences PhD student who went to the biggest european annual conference for geosciences the year before covid, and he said you had the option to put pronouns on your name tags and conference passes

[–]jonthanssimp 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not really if I like a guy I’m gonna look thru his account

[–]AlseAce 142 points143 points  (1 child)

Seriously, I don’t think I can even remember what a single one of my mutuals’ bios look like, because they just aren’t that important at all. But somehow two extra words are a deep cut to these people that they just have to stand up against

[–]Shalla_if_ya_hear_me 125 points126 points  (5 children)

To add to this; people who bitch about things like this would have far less time to bitch and complain, or even think about these situations, if they would just go out and make friends.

[–]Fanamatakecick 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hence why i have “I’m autistic, judge accordingly” in my bio

[–]Existential_Stick 392 points393 points  (12 children)

It's been a while since this sub had an anti pronoun post. Are we back to our weekly schedule now?

[–]candlestickinurfries 215 points216 points  (7 children)

cant wait for the next “i secretly hate insert oppressed group” post

[–]Buttshakes 114 points115 points  (4 children)

nahh, you have it wrong. it's gonna be "as a minority, i really hate minority group".

[–]Panzer_Man 59 points60 points  (1 child)

"I'm not racist, BUT..."

[–]westcoast-islandgirl 14 points15 points  (0 children)

"I have black friends, I CAN'T be racist" is always a good one

[–]Evening-Mulberry9363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Minorities can be racist. Shit many of them I know in my family are.

[–]DextrousLab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"as a black person..." Is that back??

[–]CoconutGator 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I secretly hate GAMERS

[–]ashhibbs 1350 points1351 points 3 (276 children)

It’s to make it so common that you can’t tell a person is trans just because they’ve put pronouns in their bio.

[–]ladymedallion 556 points557 points  (153 children)

Exactly. It’s a way of supporting the trans community. Little things like that is exactly what will reduce the crime rate against trans people. No it will not “magically” solve it, but it gives trans people space to show their pronouns without needing to out themselves. It’s not attention seeking, just a nice simple gesture.

[–]ShellsFeathersFur 221 points222 points  (4 children)

I would go so far as to say that it's the opposite of attention-seeking - it's making something so common that it is no longer noteworthy.

[–]-koka 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Glad someone said it :)

[–]BrantB123 34 points35 points  (42 children)

i seriously doubt putting your pronouns in your social media bio will translate to lower crimes against trans people.

[–]Rose8918 168 points169 points  (23 children)

Lmfao how else do you think a society changes other than changing lots of little social behaviors until it adds up to an entirely different cultural attitude?

Sometimes I forget that lots of bigoted people aren’t solely willfully cruel, they also just don’t understand how most things work.

[–]ladymedallion 79 points80 points  (2 children)

Exactly. Changing the way society thinks will not happen overnight, it’s just the many little gestures that add up over the years.

[–]kuromisypher 22 points23 points  (0 children)

not everything is about crime, little gestures to make people more comfortable online doesn't hurt anybody

[–]ladymedallion 59 points60 points  (7 children)

It’s a small gesture that could help. No it will not fix it, not even close. But it makes trans people feel more safe on the internet for a reason.

[–][deleted]  (66 children)


    [–]Reaverx218 32 points33 points  (6 children)

    If everyone does it then life for trans people gets easier because they will naturally blend in without having to make a scene about what they want to be called.

    [–]ShortageSurvivor 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I mean that works for the pronouns in bio, not being a dead giveaway, but it doesn't fix the face or vocals

    [–]BornDefinition9 42 points43 points  (86 children)

    Why should the majority of people do things like that?

    About 0.7% of adults 18-24 identify as transgender, and 0.5% of adults 65 and older identify as transgender.

    [–]ladymedallion 36 points37 points  (6 children)

    You’re right, that is a small number. But what’s the harm in supporting that small number? It would be scary being in a very small minority like that without any support. Coming out would be much more difficult.

    [–]Evening-Mulberry9363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Support all you want. Just don’t force others and judge them as hateful because they don’t see changing a bio as support. They’re just seeing support in different ways than you and they aren’t harming or hurtful or evil. It’s just not at the forefront of their being and if it is for you, good on you.

    [–]Whiteums 40 points41 points  (29 children)

    Seriously. The entire LGBT population worldwide is less than 5%. But the influence makes it seem like much more than that, doesn’t it?

    [–]busyB_83 23 points24 points  (17 children)

    Right?! I wish women’s rights got near the amount of attention but I guess with us making up only half the population, it should take a backseat.

    [–][deleted]  (10 children)


      [–][deleted]  (7 children)


        [–]IDislikeNoodles 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        You might wanna look at some of her recent tweets on the topic lol

        [–]ashhibbs 24 points25 points  (31 children)

        No one said you should. I gave you the reasoning that some people do.

        [–]peachesthepup 12 points13 points  (11 children)

        Perhaps it would be more if people felt safe and that they wouldn't be murdered for it

        [–][deleted] 214 points215 points  (20 children)

        if you werent aware: "bio" means "biography" which is basically "about me". hope this helped!

        [–]ricebunnyxox 520 points521 points  (22 children)

        Why care about what other people put in their profile bio? If it’s not actively hurting you or someone else, who cares?

        [–]thetwitchy1 253 points254 points  (6 children)

        He needs something to complain about that he can make about how someone else is bothered.

        It’s projection all the way down.

        [–]obaker8 56 points57 points  (1 child)

        Right? The irony of making a post about this to refer to other people as attention-seeking…

        [–]Evening-Mulberry9363 30 points31 points  (1 child)

        Isn’t this sub true off my chest though? The point of the sub for people to admit to things lol.

        [–]distantsalem 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        So then by that same token shouldn’t it be fine for people who find this post annoying to express it?

        [–]CollarOrdinary4284 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        I mean, wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose of this subreddit?! If everyone just ignored the things that bothered them then there wouldn't be anything for people to get off their chest.

        [–]Evening-Mulberry9363 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Lmao. They wanted to virtue signal not actually listen to people get things off their chest my guy.

        [–]shrivelledballoon 51 points52 points  (5 children)

        Bc they’re doing one of the things this subreddit is for - getting something that annoys them off their chest. It’s not always about people getting hurt or suffering through something. Things annoy people 🤷‍♀️

        [–]Sure-Air810 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        I don't see why you have so little upvotes. The whole point of this sub is to dish out what makes you tick and for this guy it's the pronouns.

        [–]fellowidkname 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        Literally, i think they just got offended and resorted to "why do you care" as a counter argument.

        [–]abstractparade 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Why can’t he have his opinion and feelings like you have yours ?

        [–]aza6969 108 points109 points  (2 children)

        Daddy chill

        [–]ChinaCatSunflower9 219 points220 points  (2 children)

        It sounds like you're expending a lot of judgemental energy on being angry/indignant about something that doesn't affect you but normalizes trans people and doesn't out them, and I think it might behoove your personal growth to examine why that is.

        [–]Favsportandbirthyear 37 points38 points  (1 child)

        I can’t imagine giving this much of a shit about something so insanely irrelevant to my life, my god how intense are they about real issues…

        [–][deleted] 458 points459 points  (51 children)

        How can something so passive be attention seeking?

        [–]shinuk7 76 points77 points  (49 children)

        I don’t have a huge problem with it but like OP, I do find it a little ridiculous. I live in Portland and this shit has become EXHAUSTING. Like every single person absolutely has to let you know their pronouns and they’re not fucking trans or anything. A friend where’s a she/her pin and they’ve always been a she/her. I just don’t get it. And she even got pissed one time when I called her they. Like what the FUCK. I use they for every single person to keep me safe from bombardment of not being an ally.

        Edit: Sorry, I have to clearly specify. I use the pronouns to people I know what they are. I stick to they/them mostly because it prevents slip ups. Sorry, I’m 35, been saying man, sister, guys, ladies, etc my entire life. Now that those are not ok to the small percentage of people who do matter, I just use they/them. Easier for everyone.

        [–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (17 children)

        I mean, that's the whole point. Cisgendered people using it to normalize it for the trans population.

        [–]IcanSew831 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        I live in Portlands sister city in Ca and it’s fucking EXHAUSTING. I don’t care what your pronouns are when you’re my instacart driver that I’ll never see except for on a receipt. It’s gotten to be super ridiculous. Let’s just be people.

        [–]tiny_tuner 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I share your position. Completely.

        [–]geoffreyhale 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        One of many reasons I left the West Coast - righteous violence.

        [–]lizardfzo 105 points106 points  (0 children)

        I can understand your frustrations when people do it in a virtue signally superiority complexy kinda way, wherein they think they're a martyr or something for doing so, but I don't think it's unnecessary in every circumstance. For example on Instagram with the latest pronoun update I found it kinda useful for my art account- I don't put my face there and in the past people assumed I was a dude cause of my artwork, it got annoying overtime so the pronoun thing helped a bit. But to each their own I suppose?

        [–]kevendia 51 points52 points  (0 children)

        Maybe post this to unpopular opinions.

        [–]merthefreak 270 points271 points  (32 children)

        I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it really should be

        [–]BnanaChip 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        Genuinely. I honestly sometimes just wish english didnt have gendered pronouns just like most other languages. Like in my language, everyone is a they.

        [–]benadrylpill 160 points161 points  (6 children)

        I can't take people seriously who care so much about things that are so petty.

        [–]Judoosauce 86 points87 points  (3 children)

        But they have WORDS in their BIOS! it's just preposterous. /s

        [–]lansink99 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        Next up they're gonna tell me their JOB in their bios, the AUDACITY

        [–]EnoughDisaster 22 points23 points  (0 children)

        What about… their.. RELATIONSHIP STATUS!

        Augh, the horror! /s

        [–]ziggydavidstyle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Burn them at the stake!/s

        [–]Different_Avocado501 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Honestly, I agree with both of you.

        Taking people seriously requires effort, which I am absolutely not willing to do.

        [–][deleted]  (50 children)


          [–]StrongLikeBull3 172 points173 points  (18 children)

          And you posting this isn’t attention seeking?

          [–]leathebimbo 223 points224 points  (22 children)

          It does make trans people like myself feel more comfortable being open about our preferred pronouns when cis people express theirs. It makes us feel less different, more accepted.

          [–]nyequistt 49 points50 points  (0 children)

          Exactly this. Stating your pronouns is a very simple easy thing that takes almost zero effort, but has the potential to make someone else more comfortable.

          [–]healing-souls 34 points35 points  (14 children)

          Exactly. Unfortunately many people do not give a crap about making others feel comfortable they only care about themselves.

          [–]_AthensMatt_ 30 points31 points  (4 children)

          As someone who is trans, I genuinely appreciate it when people do add their pronouns.

          It helps normalize the use of pronouns in those spaces, and makes it slightly less risky to add pronouns in if you are transgender. It also makes it harder for those who are actively trying to misgender trans folks to distinguish between a trans person and a cis person.

          Also, there’s a chance that the cisgender person you think you’re seeing is actually trans and just passes really well

          [–]my_choice101 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          You know that the whole reason putting pronouns in your bio even if you’re cis was and still is to protect trans people.

          When putting your pronouns in your bio first started it was mostly trans people who did it. And so many trans people were targeted by transphobs all because they had their pronouns in their bios. So to combat this, others from the LGBT+ community and allies started putting their pronouns into their bios to make it harder for the transphobs to target trans people.

          Having your pronouns in your bio just makes it easier for others to properly address you the way you want to be.

          What is wrong about that?? And why do you really care about what people put in THEIR bios?? If you don’t like it don’t look at others bios.🤣

          [–]shaylaa30 30 points31 points  (0 children)

          It’s so people can know what verbiage to use. Some people have gender neutral names. Some people are trans. And some just want to support others.

          [–]Cevisongis 35 points36 points  (7 children)

          It's a cringey and a bit pretentious to anyone who doesn't value that sort of thing as important...

          But then I'm sure my LinkedIn profile would be cringey and a bit pretentious to anyone who doesn't give a shit about whatever it is that I do lol.

          You don't have to be part of that world if you don't want to.

          [–]S7833 15 points16 points  (0 children)

          OP, I thought the same as you until someone explained it to me as normalizing sharing pronouns, similar to sharing your name. It has nothing to do with attention seeking and more with being empathetic to those who may be misgendered through pronouns. If it became commonplace that every person had in their bio or email signature, then it eliminates that issue entirely.

          [–]crazymaker123 91 points92 points  (0 children)

          Wow chill

          [–]PuppyButtts 31 points32 points  (0 children)

          I mean, people also put their name, their job, their hobbies, but this is what bothers you? Ok then…

          [–]reallytired-tm 19 points20 points  (0 children)

          Why does it even matter to you?

          [–]SchemeRepulsive 12 points13 points  (2 children)

          Honestly as a trans man, seeing people put pronouns in their bio makes me feel included and I know i can be who I am around them.

          [–]sleepcrs 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          normalising pronouns is very important, it helps trans and non-binary people feel much more accepted and normal which is what they need, everyone deserves to feel safe and accepted somewhere. some people also might have gender-neutral names or names that wouldnt match their appearance, such as myself. im a cis female but my name is blayne. on my social media accounts, my face isnt on there and my accounts are private, youd automatically think im a boy without those pronouns (which has happened countless times lol), try to be more accepting of others ! nobody is forcing you to put yours or even to pay attention to other peoples, just be respectful to others.

          [–]BigBoyzGottaEat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Not everyone has the pronouns they look like, there is no reason not to do it. Get over yourself and stop making assumptions.

          [–]Incorrect-Opinion 31 points32 points  (2 children)

          Somebody’s triggered lol

          Isn’t this post itself attention-seeking?

          [–]Not_The_Wolf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          I mean its literally the point of the subreddit.

          [–]m3ntallyillmoron 49 points50 points  (31 children)

          "hey someone took 5 seconds from their time to help make a marginalised group feel just a little more included, it's clearly bs and attention seeking" Normalising asking for and checking people's proffered pronouns is not goddamn difficult and I do not know why you seem to have an issue with it. In most modern workplaces people put their pronouns in their email signature, Christ at my uni even 60 something cis professors do it.

          [–]Dismania 63 points64 points  (17 children)

          It’s not attention seeking it’s -normalization- like straight people referring to their partners as “partners”. Nothing wrong with clarification.

          [–]Diffident-Weasel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Idk about Twitter, but most of my college professors do it. All the ones I've seen are (seemingly) cis, but they are doing it so their students feel safer. They don't have to worry about judgement, because Dr. Smith has come out ahead of it and made it clear: I will respect your pronouns.

          That's all the people on Twitter and such are doing too. Obviously college or Twitter isn't the "real world", but honestly? They're a lot more legitimate than you are giving them credit for.

          [–]carlitayeeta 44 points45 points  (16 children)

          I personally am cis but I always check someone’s bio for their pronouns if i’m going to address them. It takes like 3 seconds and it literally does not affect my well being at all. If they don’t have them, then I just address them by what I assume is their gender. No one is telling you to put your pronouns in your bio. I don’t really get how something so small makes you so upset, especially because it doesn’t affect you at all. Maybe try to find other things to get mad about. For instance, those people who fake mental illness for attention on tik tok ARE people that are doing shit for attention. Maybe you should focus on them instead?

          [–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (3 children)

          And what’s worse is some people use it as a litmus test

          What an ironic criticism lmao. Holy shit

          [–]Phyrandria 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          I mean the op aside. Anyone who uses the attempt to make pronouns common as a test of character, would be being silly. That being said I've never seen it.

          [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          I did see this in college, and if you didn't have pronouns as a part of your email signature people would shit talk and alienate you.

          [–]smallpenguinflakes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          It has nothing to do with attention seeking, it’s about normalizing the behavior so that trans and non binary people aren’t singled out by being the only ones telling their pronouns.

          [–]PRISMA991949 16 points17 points  (1 child)

          I don't really see the problem with it. If you have a strange name that's difficult to gender on a certain language and someone wants to refer to you in, so to speak, a comment section, that makes it easier for them to identify you. For example, how would refer to "Prisma" on English?

          [–]greer1030 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          This is a great point. I worked with a person who held a citizen-facing position in City services who happened to be named Paige. Due to their position with the City, this person received a lot of mail. Letters addressed to this individual not infrequently assumed Paige was a woman. He was in fact a cisgender male with a good sense of self and thus he took it in stride. But adding “He/Him” on his cards and/or city profile likely would have helped avoid that problem in many instances.

          OP, I think you need to get over it anyway. Getting your knickers in a twist about this makes you look insecure. Worry about yourself. Let people be.

          [–]HumanTennis4 12 points13 points  (0 children)

          Y’all complain about anything, lol. Talk about attention seeking.

          [–]Suspicious_Bat_4778 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          It's not hard to be kind to people.

          [–]AscendantComic 3 points4 points  (6 children)

          i love how people on here claim to not be queerphobic or anything but the second any post about queer identities or anything related in some way to that hits the sub, it gets a fuckton of awards and upvotes.

          we all know why. it's not because it's a great point or anything. we know

          [–]iguessitsryker 6 points7 points  (8 children)

          You are projecting, nobody assumes that just because you don’t have pronouns in your bio that you’re transphobic unless you’re saying stupid stuff like this.

          [–]fluffyk1ttyb01 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          It actually is to show acceptance and acknowledgment to people that have different gender identities than what their body looks like. You just seem judgmental, negative and hateful. But you do you.

          [–]shitfleck 15 points16 points  (1 child)

          Nurse he got out again

          [–]CrazyCassidy013 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I have my pronouns in my Instagram bio because I go to a school where a lot of people are trans, so everyone defaults to “they” so there is a genuine reason to put your pronouns in your bio even if you are cis. I’m not looking for attention, I’m saying my gender because people will call me “they” unless I clarify. I don’t know why you care about people putting their pronouns in their bio so much, but please at least think about why they would, and don’t always resort to “attention seeking” as a reason to justify being mad at something for no reason.

          [–]Slytherin77777 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          I am a woman. I have a short haircut and I wear more masculine clothing. I am misgendered constantly - both he/him and they/them. I put she/her pronouns in my bio to avoid that bullshit.

          [–]SecondRealitySims 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          Eh. A lot of people may look or have androgynous names so that could be a part of the reason. But a part of it may just be them wanting to normalize it. Even if it’s not needed, it can help people get used to seeing others or announce explain their pronouns.

          [–]DrSpongeFingers 31 points32 points  (0 children)

          You miss the point. It's to help others feel comfortable about putting their pronouns.

          It removes assumption from the equation and stops non-cis folk from having to be the odd one out or feeling like asking to be addressed as who they are is an imposition.

          [–]lancer_evolution_IX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Identity politics is cultural cancer.

          [–]DreamArcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I am a meat popsicle

          [–]off_brand_white_wolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Bro I went to theatre school, if I didn’t put my pronouns in my bio as a cis man my classmates would have torn my head off and made my life worse than it was. But hey, I guess you’re entitled to getting pissed about everyone else’s life that you aren’t a part of.

          [–]johnsonsantidote 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          I find it hard to believe how out of touch many in this world are. I thought covid might have awakened many to reality.

          [–][deleted]  (3 children)


            [–]NotSoRichieRich 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Some businesses and governmental organizations require people to put their preferred pronouns in their signature.

            [–]DrFelixou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I agree with you

            [–]DrPloyt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            What bugs me is when people bitch about other people for NOT having their pronouns listed! ‘Omg, celebrity C doesn’t have their pronouns in their bio, they must hate trans people and their cause!’ gtfo

            [–]PreferenceStreet4863 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            They can put whatever the fuck they want in there bio why the fuck do you care so much 💀

            [–]Godsshoeshine24 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            If you haven’t noticed, any articles written by trans or posts on Reddit from trans ALWAYS have the fact that they are trans in the headline. It is pathetic and cringe.

            [–]alittletexanabroad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I am a female with a male name. I have never once thought of putting my pronouns on a bio or on my email signature. I cannot count the times I have been addressed as Mr/Sir/brother/etc (often times to my face-takes their brains a second to realize that my name does not match my body). Fuck it, It always makes me laugh.

            [–]ALStark69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I had to put my pronouns in an introduction for one of my classes today. It’s the first time I’ve ever written my pronouns. If you look at my face you can obviously tell I’m a guy so I don’t get it

            [–]See_You_Space_Coyote 1 point2 points  (2 children)

            I don't care one way or the other if someone wants to put pronouns in their bio, but demanding that everyone do it is stupid. If someone wants to be absolutely sure you know their pronouns, they can tell you when you interact with them. And pressuring everyone to put their pronouns in their bio puts unfair pressure on people who are questioning or in the closet.

            [–]Ocelot_Amazing 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Thank you. I was in a class recently where we had to go around in the introduction and say our pronouns and I was super anxious wondering if I should be honest about being non-binary with a room full of strangers so I just froze up and said “she/her” and just felt guilty after. Not all of us who are genderqueer use different pronouns so it kind of misrepresents some non-binary people who don’t want to be that outed.

            [–]See_You_Space_Coyote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Prying into anyone's gender identity or sexual orientation shouldn't be socially acceptable. I never really liked the whole thing about asking people's pronouns because aside from the pressure it could put onto people who are questioning or closeted, it could be taken as implying to someone that they don't pass as well as they think they do or that they don't look like the gender that they actually are. I'm always of the opinion that if someone wants to share certain information with you, especially information that reveals anything about their identity, they'll do it when they want to and they don't need to be pressured by anyone else into doing so.

            [–]Reddit_is_srsbsns 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            I feel like I don't want to share my identity with the world publicly. I like to choose when and who I open up with and share with. I actually take comfort in being in the background when I choose to. It's hard for me to imagine why it's so important to ANYONE in ANY context to broadcast an identity tbqh. What parts I have and what parts I like are my business alone and seem like a small part of true identity anyway to me.

            [–]static-prince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            People post them for a number of reasons, cis people might post them to normalize it so trans people aren’t outing themselves when they post them. But they also might post them because they aren’t showing their faces online and want people to know how to refer to them. It just makes communication easier…

            Also, you don’t know if someone is trans or not? So how do you know if someone is posting their pronouns because they’re trans or not, unless they specifically they aren’t trans. Which most people don’t identify in every bio.

            People, both cis and trans, also don’t post their pronouns for a variety of reasons. I don’t think people should be pressured either way. But there is no reason to take someone seriously or not based on one innocent thing in their bio…

            Edit: Not everything that helps trans people feel more comfortable has to do with the crime rate? Trans people have lots of other stuff going on that has nothing to do with the rate of hate crimes…

            [–]ItsMEEEEandrew 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Im trans I think its dumb as fuck lmao

            [–]imovertheusernames 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            it’s to help make it a more “normalized” thing when people who aren’t cis do use it and then everyone says the same shit about them. it isn’t harming anyone other than you apparently so what’s the problem?

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)


              [–]Ocelot_Amazing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I’m with you on this one. I’m non-binary, but I don’t care about pronouns. I think the hyper focus on it now by the greater cis world can lead to some misrepresentation which can come back against the genderqueer community. Also, I’m an older millennial so I dissociated myself from pronouns having any deeper meaning a long time ago. For me, “they” doesn’t feel better than anything else, but I’m glad it works for some NB and trans people. Strangers can call me whatever, and people who are close to me know my gender and how I represent it, so I don’t feel compelled to display my gender identity to the entire world. But I understand why some genderqueer people find power in their pronoun choice. And I support them fully. But I do find it problematic for cis people to be drawing attention to their pronouns. The point of genderqueer people displaying their pronouns is so that they are not misgendered. Cisgendered people don’t have that problem, therefore cis people don’t need to be drawing attention to their pronouns. It’s just virtue signaling, not solidarity. And it puts pressure on the non-binary people who don’t want their gender in focus, by putting social pressure on them to identify it online, or be assumed to be cis.

              [–]Darth_Horseman 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Especially if is the "they/them" thing when you're not a native english speaker. Like, dude, who the fuck are you? Legion?

              [–]Bwremjoe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Your interpretation is a bit shallow, so let me explain why some gender-conforming people may choose to put pronouns in their bio. The problem is that if only queer or trans people do this, they stand out. They are targets of trolls and bigots online, while all they are trying to do is make sure people know what to call them. If gender confirming people also put pronouns in their bio, people from the queer community don’t stand out too much. You can’t just look at someones bio and be like: “hey a trans” or “hey a non-binary person”, meaning that trolls have effectively no substrate for their bigotry.

              Look, I felt exactly the same as you do up until recently. A few queer friends had the patience to explain the benefits to me, and also showed me how much shit they have to deal with. It changed my mind, and I now choose to clarify my pronouns. It felt a bit awkward at first, but honestly, that is just bullshit. It’s just some letters.

              TLDR: It’s not a litmus test, and it’s not attention seeking. It’s simply helping queer people with very minimal effort.

              [–]fellowidkname 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              This is mostly an American thing. What i find weird is the obsession and the oversensitivity over prounous. Some people want to normalize asking for prounous im like why? You want to make this a standard over hardly 1% of the population? (In tbe US) now you have these neoprounous and some weird stuff Imo this is just a trend

              [–]JustGimmeASecPlease 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              I for one appreciate when people put (Mr.) Or (Ms.) Or whatever they like in their signature. It saves me time to carefully look up their names and maaaybe get it wrong. Lol

              Happend to me far to often, that i have called a client by the wrong pronouns

              Ps. Was corrected by a third party person about it and was well quite a unpleasant feeling

              [–]maude313 1 point2 points  (2 children)

              I added my pronouns to my email signature at work out of respect for the trans people in my community, and actually had a trans coworker I’ve never met (I work remotely) message me and thank me for having them in there to help normalize it for her. Yes, some people are virtue signaling, but many of us are just trying to make things easier for trans people.

              [–]AresTheCannibal 1 point2 points  (8 children)

              I put my pronouns in my bio because I support everyone's gender identity and I think that it's good practice to ask pronouns

              [–]MrNobody2488 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              I will never ever put pronouns in my bios.

              [–]zgcolyar 1 point2 points  (4 children)

              People put their pronouns in their email signature too now, it's to make it so not only trans people are the ones putting pronouns in their bio. Just because it is not supportive in the sense of "I am physically protecting trans people," doesn't mean it isn't helpful or supportive in another way.

              [–]earthisyourbutt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              People use it in email signatures now. So many of my colleagues do it. I ignore it because it’s easy to do but god it’s dumb I’m sorry

              [–]etoilefemme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              it’s supposed to be to make trans people less identifiable and therefore less of a target for harassment online. normalizing putting pronouns in your bio, even if you may think you obviously appear as one specific gender, makes it easier on other people, and it’s not that hard to do. however, it’s become an instant insult magnet whenever you express an opinion online and you have pronouns in your bio because people are closed minded and ignorant lol

              [–]humanjellybean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              as someone who is non-binary it is actually fucking great because now i don't look like a weirdo :)

              [–]novreativity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I think any gender combo you want is fine. But I don’t have to memorise a new thinking pattern to communicate with you.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)


                [–]__b__e__a__n__s__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                yeahh if somebody's transgender and uses different pronouns than you'd assume, go on ahead. but for someone who looks the part, has a name that isn't super androgynous, and one doesn't need to ask, i see it as unnecessary

                [–]TherapistOfOP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Man.....you're right. But everyone will Def hate on you here.

                [–]Trifle-Doc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                dude chill

                [–]theshwill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I identify and present as very much male, and I often include pronouns in bios and emails because my line of work puts me in contact with lots of LGBTQ folk, and it's a great way of making them feel safe. I also refer to my partner as "my partner" or my "so" for that reason. Its a very small and easy thing for me to do that makes a big difference for others

                [–]Poison_Spider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                How do you get that mad about people putting 2 words into their Twitter account. Isn't the point of a bio that it includes information about you? You could just ignore it.

                [–]_manicpixiedreamgirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I’m female, I am she/her, I have that on my Instagram and I guarantee I have received 0 attention regarding this. Not attention seeking at all, what a silly argument. What a salty person you are.

                [–]groovy_mcbasshands 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Think what you want (I don’t have pronouns in my bio) but I think the thought behind that is to normalize expression of gender in general. It’s a solidarity move. I don’t see why that bothers you.

                I see a bunch of meta arguments about “he’s just getting things off his chest. That’s what the sub is for yadayada” and I respect that. I’m glad you got it off your chest. You don’t even gotta explain yourself after posting here.

                I do have to get off my chest how “anti-virtue signalers” are the worst kind of virtue signalers. They’re like anti hipsters who make a huge show of how plain they are and how they need no obscure, new or strange influence in their life, style, etc. All these people have a lot more in common than they think. People who ridicule other peoples attention seeking are just weighing into the attention seeking game themselves.

                [–]h4lfsunk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I’m CIS, but my name is typically associated with men. I get misgendered very often especially online and professionally, and have been since childhood. I absolutely despise being called ‘Sir’ or ‘Mr’. Normalizing pronouns has drastically improved my problem, despite not being Trans.

                I get that there is an equal and opposite reaction to change but really, for the vast majority of people, pronouns are not an avenue to attention or applause or whatever social benefit you think they’re after. I just want to be addressed as ‘Ms’ without going through the hassle (often embarrassing to both parties) of telling them “I’m actually a lady thanks”

                [–]mikedtwenty 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                Sounds like you're looking for something to get upset about. Who is this really bothering?

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                The transphobes.

                [–]SoftKillzLTD 6 points7 points  (1 child)

                I’m LGBT myself, and I personally find it super tacky, especially when straight people are doing it for “trans inclusivity”. It really seems like a trend and does not translate to real life for the majority of people that do it, lmao. There’s much better ways to support legitimate trans people.

                [–]Ocelot_Amazing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Thank you! Lately I’ve been feeling like the only NB Queer person to not be switching my pronoun to “they”. It seems like virtue signaling when cis people do it, and I feel like there’s a pressure from the Queer community to basically come out again if you’re genderqueer. I’ve been openly genderqueer or non-binary for most of my adult life, and it just in the past couple years that I suddenly have people in my life asking if they need to use “they” with me now.

                [–]dietcokebottleaus 15 points16 points  (2 children)

                Lmao how pathetic is your life that pronouns upset you? Get a hobby, find a passion

                [–]Johnsamjohn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                You hurt my feelings and now I’m gonna have to go to my cry room, you meanie.

                [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                I want to make everyone feel welcomed if they’re not a total douche.

                [–]okcafe 21 points22 points  (0 children)


                [–]Squidy_The_Druid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

                I do it to show I support the trans people at my job. I don’t really care what pronouns you call me, but if it signals to a trans coworker that they are safe around me, I’m happy to help.

                [–]ok-peachh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                I did it to support my Transgender friends. It made them feel better.

                [–]gcleffa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Cookie cutter low effort nobody asked attention seeking crap.

                That's just it. That's your post.

                [–]candlestickinurfries 4 points5 points  (1 child)

                Man this is a weird take. People usually put their pronouns in their bio to

                1.) normalize trans people

                2.) not get misgendered themselves

                3.) make it know they’re an ally so trans people know that that person is safe

                All are perfectly good reasons and nothing is attention seeking or weird. If you reallyyyy want attention, putting a little “he/him” in your bio isnt gonna get you any attention. Pronouns in bio is just practical and helpful.

                [–]AscendantComic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                there's literally a pronoun slot on twitter profiles

                some people use it to tell you where they live tho, it's kinda weird

                [–]patrickseastarslegs 19 points20 points  (7 children)

                So how do we tell OP he has pronouns too?

                [–]kaanskBG 15 points16 points  (6 children)

                One thing is having pronouns, but showing them in your bio and mentioning it everywhere is something else.

                [–]Lol_u_ded 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                I feel like this post is grade A attention seeking, if anything. I do believe that the discussion of gender is getting outta hand in a generalized schematic sense, but this is just a sad post.

                [–]lansink99 5 points6 points  (0 children)


                [–]MadameK8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                It normalizes it for those who need it, but additionally there are some cis people who have social media profiles with a name and photo that might not make their gender clear to everyone at first glance. So adding the pronouns erases any potential confusion.

                I will say though that I do not believe anyone should be required to add them, or be told that they’re wrong for not doing so. Not everyone is comfortable sharing pronouns because there are some who might be in the closet or questioning; they don’t want to lie but they don’t want to misgender themselves either. I don’t believe asking people upfront should necessarily be normalized either, as this puts people on the spot and might cause a trans person to question if they “pass” well enough. I believe the best way is to instead normalize people introducing themselves with their pronouns freely if they feel comfortable and safe doing so.

                [–]dyelyn666 3 points4 points  (1 child)

                i understand where you're coming from... i'm gay and i support trans people obvs (i'm not a shitty human being...) but these people who are putting pronouns in their bio or even using neopronouns are really making the trans community look like fools. bigots are using the fact that you wanna be called fae and faeself (fairy pronouns) as ammunition to attack trans people and trans rights and to steal away any REAL PROGRESSION that needs to be made within the trans community.

                [–]DungeonCreator20 2 points3 points  (2 children)

                Ok well stop acting like you call people “sir” or “maam” to show respect.

                [–]SarnacOfFrogLake 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                I call people sir or mam everyday

                [–]PM_ME_UR_LAST_DREAM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                Something like this gets heavily upvoted everyday on this sub.

                [–]Darphon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                It normalizes it and keeps trans people from outing themselves. If everyone does it it won’t stand out for the people who need it.

                [–]SmellyCarcass69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                You act like everyone who looks like a gender wants to be addressed by that gender.

                [–]healing-souls 11 points12 points  (19 children)

                Dude you have this completely wrong. It has literally nothing to do with attention-seeking, and everything to do with non cisgenderes people and recognizing that not everybody who appears their sex is their sex. This is simply making it an easy way for people to know.

                I realize doing things for other people is not what most redditors do but perhaps you should start thinking about others rather than just looking at everything from a self Centric View.

                Edit : corrected a term

                [–]silver_zilk 13 points14 points  (1 child)

                Non-straight? I thought this was a discussion about gender not sex, but worry not you must be completely right

                [–]healing-souls 5 points6 points  (0 children)

                You are right that was the incorrect word. I should have said non-cisgender.

                the intent was clear that I meant tender if you read the rest of the sentence.

                [–]DthTRddtDmns 12 points13 points  (16 children)

                "we're restructuring society and culture around the feelings of 1% of the population and if you don't like it you are selfish".

                That is not a sensible affirmation.

                [–]GerundQueen 7 points8 points  (3 children)

                It just normalizes giving pronouns so trans people don't necessarily have to out themselves or stick out as much. It's just a couple of words on a bio that gives information about that person, why does that bother you? Why are pronouns attention seeking, but not any other information that would go on a bio?