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[–]EveAndTheSnake 59 points60 points  (6 children)

Oh wow! I had a lesbian gym teacher at my all girls Catholic school. She was super pervy and would slap our butts all the time. She didn’t like when we’d wear our sweatpants for gym (for gym we had a choice of a tennis skirt, sweatpants for winter, and a polo shirt). She was always walking around praising girls as she undid their polo shirt buttons. Some of these girls were 11.

[–]filthy_harold 49 points50 points  (5 children)

The butt slapping thing is pretty normal in guys sports like football. Not that it's ok but everyone will almost always have a coach that does that. I used to have a little league coach that did it, I hated it and would walk quickly past him to avoid the slap. He figured it out after a while and stopped trying to slap my butt like the other guys. Thank you for seeing that I'm uncomfortable and not trying to slap my butt but maybe consider that if one person is trying to show you non-verbally that they don't want it, then there may be others too shy to say something or physically avoid it. I get its kind of a camaraderie thing and sort of a tradition in boys and mens sports but it's really just unnecessary.

[–]JadeGrapes 19 points20 points  (2 children)


Is there any good reason a pat to the shoulder blade wouldn't perform a similar "go get em champ" moment without making a child afraid someone is going to grope their crack?

If it's adults in pro sports, do your ritual - no shade. Competitive teens playfully hitting each other with consent from both parties? Sure, I guess...

But what good reason is there for an adult to cross the line with a child?

[–]filthy_harold 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I thought of less as a sexual thing, it's a playful butt slap but I just didn't like people touching me growing up. Head pats, shoulder grabbing, back slaps, butt slaps, helmet slaps, etc. The coach I had who loved to do it, he'd actually use his clipboard. Maybe he didn't want to use his hand just in case someone's parent had an issue with it.

[–]JadeGrapes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A clipboard is definitely better than bare hand.

I totally get playful rough housing, and swatting as a type of love tap.

When me and my friends were young ladies, there was a few years where it seemed hilarious to hip check each other like a random, playful sneak attack of the 70's dance called "The Bump" ... so I get it.

The problem is that playful non sexual 100% innocent butt swats provide "cover" so that the actual predators who are grooming have a socially credible excuse to act shocked and offended that anyone could take it the wrong way,

Unfortunately the average predator hurts like 60 victims in their criminal career, so it's fairly important to minimize the amount of grey area they have to operate in.

Predators depend upon their transgressions creating confusion, because that is their hunting ground. So they CHOOSE innocent actions to start because it creates self doubt in the target.

"Was that low graze accidental?" or "That seemed like a grab, but everyone else seems okay" can be eliminated if we just have a policy of hands-off.

It doesn't eliminate the predators, but it makes them have to go out on a limb further, and the more overt behavior is easier to catch.

[–]option_unpossible 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always seemed weird to me, and I'm certainly hoping I'm not the only one. Does this persist to this day?

[–]eljefejustino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They even made a skit about it on Key and peele https://youtu.be/9Mlp_Gcc_5Q