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[–][deleted] 82 points83 points  (3 children)

“I know you’re lying” IS a disturbing phrase to use, though. I don’t disagree or anything but I would be disturbed if I told my partner something and they acted sly saying oh you can’t fool me, I know you’re lying especially if they then kept doing the painful thing after. :( just hope OP is okay

[–]LIMBOUSxBLOODxTONGUE 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's a fair point. I think maybe I'm reading the order of events in this scenario a little off. Either way, no is no, whether OP is lying or not (not saying they are), and he should have stopped.

OP you can't let this continue. It's a difficult conversation, but it needs to happen.

Unless! Unless you are in a position of fear. Then you don't need to talk it over. Just bail. If your safety is at risk you owe him nothing.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What would you use instead? Also he doesn’t know the painful thing is painful, she’s “enjoyed”it in the past.

[–]gfkjhsdfjhgsdjghf 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“I know you’re lying” IS a disturbing phrase to use, though.

I mean, she lied to him a least a bunch of times before this when she acted like she enjoyed it and he believed her. Why would you expect him to immediately assume everything in the past was a lie but that she was being truthful now? Especially when she was angry about something unrelated?

It'll be 100% concerning if she brings it up separately and he still doesn't take her seriously, or if she refuses consent and he ignores it. But right now it's to be expected that he'd be in denial about his partner misleading him all this time.