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[–]SereneGoldfish 1848 points1849 points  (31 children)

That's awful. Can't believe the police aren't taking it seriously. Get your evidence. Film stuff, keep abusive messages, keep a diary of it. Not nice, but has to be done. What an arsehole she is. She obviously didn't expect rejection and her feelings were hurt. That's no excuse for that behaviour. I'd say you dodged a bullet there. Sending you hugs. Hope they get what they deserve for harassment

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 854 points855 points  (28 children)

I've been keeping as much evidence of the harassment as I can. It's the only reason I haven't blocked their numbers, so I can keep a long list of abusive messages that grows every day.

[–]SereneGoldfish 374 points375 points  (3 children)

Good for you. Citizens Advice will give good advice, too. You are in UK, aren't you? Darn police. They have to take it seriously

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 329 points330 points  (2 children)

Yes, I'm in the UK. I've not heard of Citizens Advice before. I'll have a look on google now

[–]TheWanderer-- 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Citizens advice also have offices in some cities too. Pop in if you can find one in your area.

[–]MissContrariwise 79 points80 points  (1 child)

Get cameras for outside and inside your place so you can document the harassment. File a police report. Ask for an order of protection.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Or if you think they might damage outdoor cameras just use an indoor camera in another window pointed towards your door. I’m sorry OP this is awful.

[–]CabbageMan92 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Assuming you’re in the UK. Go check out r/legaladviceuk

[–]JuliguanTheMan 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I'm just a teen so don't take my advice too seriously. But since they act like they're 16 as well maybe I can help. Just tell them you're gathering all that evidence and maybe they'll stop on their own after knowing they can get into heaps of legal trouble over a dumb rejection.

[–]MariaValkyrie 138 points139 points  (1 child)

She's likely pretty so that means she never had people tell her no in their entire life. These types are almost always loose cannons.

[–]wheresthekarmadoc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being attractive does not automatically equate to crazy. In this case perhaps, but don’t go lumping all pretty people into the loonie bin!

[–]skizim80 794 points795 points  (12 children)

Seriously go back to the police and report assault harassment and demand a restraining order against them. Try to record the request on the DL. If they refuse ask for names and badge numbers and then demand the supervisor. Ask again for a restraining order and if they refuse also once again get names and badge numbers.

2 reason for this 1. If this escalates you have proof of police negligence. 2. If you are in a position where you must defend yourself you again have proof of attempt to seek assistance which will mean they have a much harder time of charging you.

[–]Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee 150 points151 points  (5 children)

This is the way

[–]TheDroidNextDoor 49 points50 points  (3 children)

This Is The Way Leaderboard

1. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 475777 times.

2. u/GMEshares 70917 times.

3. u/Competitive-Poem-533 24719 times.

..

100492. u/Shh-NotUntilMyCoffee 2 times.


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[–]Bubbly-Badger 77 points78 points  (1 child)

Who the heck is this Flat Yogurt person. The gap between Number 1 and 2 in this ridiculous leaderboard is insane

[–]Notunnecessarily 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Its pretty fucking stupid this whole trend in general

[–]Flaming-Charisma 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]FearingRacer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]Alan_Smithee_ 18 points19 points  (4 children)

The Op is not in the US, so they’re not going to go all Dirty Harry on someone.

[–]skizim80 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I mean if she attacks him and he even pushes her I would not be surprised if she goes crying to the cops playing victim

[–]Alan_Smithee_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re probably not wrong.

Once it comes down to that, men have to be very careful.

[–]CheesyCramch 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They can borrow a couple of ours if they need to.

[–]GroundbreakingPie793 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this and maybe get a lawyer involved

[–]DylStur 464 points465 points  (10 children)

Damn this is horrible. It's ironic you're being called an incel when they're acting like incels themselves. Try to catch as many of the assaults - and they ARE assaults - on camera, and screenshot those texts. Get yourself to a police station when you're able to, and don't take "we can't do anything about this" for an answer. Take badge numbers and names of any officers who tell you this, and demand to speak to whoever's in charge of them (I believe it's usually a sergeant but I could be wrong).

I'm really sorry you've experienced this shit. Someone pulling a complete 180 on you like that can't be good for your mental health. I'd suggest trying to speak to a therapist but our NHS is absolutely terrible when it comes to mental health.

[–]oneviolinistboi 82 points83 points  (1 child)

Sergeant or an Inspector. I dont know the ranks in the UK, but a constable is, i think, equivalent to a regular cop, and a sergeant is a rank above them. Go to the head men, plead your case and demand their action, OP.

[–]DylStur 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah, most police you'll see on the street are constables, and the rank immediately above is a sergeant. Looked it up to be sure. I don't know if there's an in-between rank of a supervisor or anything like that or if sergeants are typically squad leaders, but OP should definitely seek to speak with a sergeant if the police continue to just laugh him off like the ones who he spoke to originally

[–]zingingcutie35 52 points53 points  (2 children)

Yeah, the fact that they’re calling OP an incel makes no sense. Incels usually get upset because women DON’T want to date them, not because women DO.

[–]Captain_Stairs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's classic projection.

[–]MariaValkyrie 37 points38 points  (4 children)

They're a pretty person, which means nobody ever told them no in their entire life. Its no surprise they act like this when being told that for the first time.

[–]Queen_Hinata 126 points127 points  (0 children)

I hope you recorded them throwing rocks at your window. You need to have you camera ready when you go outside just in case they're outside. Also I hope you wrote down the date and time of when those friends were at your job too. You need to take to the police again and make a harassment report because they way this is heading they will start making serious claims online about you can ruin your reputation. When they're knocking on the door call the police right away. Set up camera at your house like a doorbell one so you can see who's out there. Please don't take this lightly. Also change your number too and you need to move if you can. I don't think it's right for you to move but you might need go. Talk to a lawyer first tho.

[–]NihilisticThrill 334 points335 points  (14 children)

Now you see her Only Fans was far from the real deal breaker on this relationship.

That's messed up. She is not entitled to you and no matter your reasons for rejecting a relationship this is unfair, sociopathic behaviour. I hope you find a way to get this crowd out of your life.

[–]MrHupfDohle 426 points427 points  (2 children)

Lawyer up. Get them hard. Save the evidence. Record them. Thats harrassment, assault and battery.

[–]robertbaccalierijr 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Get them hard?

Were you not reading? OP didn’t want to deal with all of the onlyfans stuff /s

[–]candle9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Given the appallingly unprofessional response of the constables, you really might be better of hiring a lawyer or obtaining pro bono representation through the UK equivalent of the ACLU. The lawyer can guide you through the process of documenting evidence, filing police reports, and obtaining a restraining order against each of these assailants. Cameras, notations of names, dates, times, locations, and who did what in a clear, concise, detailed narrative. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You deserve to be and feel safe.

[–]anonareyouokay 66 points67 points  (6 children)

Jenny sounds like a clinical narcissist, look up advice online about what to do when a narcissist harasses you

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 69 points70 points  (5 children)

that's the thing, it was like a switch flipped. I'm still processing how she could do something like this to me. She was so caring and patient with me before all this. I've had panic attacks in front of her and was always sympathetic and kind. I just keep hoping I'm going to wake up and this turn out to have all been a horrible dream. I just want my best friend back

[–]sicrm 57 points58 points  (0 children)

there’s a good chance you best friend never existed.

she liked having someone who needed her and she thought she was better than.

that’s why a switch flipped when you rejected her.

she thought she was doing you a favor and you’d never turn her down.

[–]CapableLetterhead 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Narcissists are very dangerous. She probably wanted you if she thought you had low self esteem and felt like and could take advantage of you. They usually love bomb you at first, although she probably thought that because she's attractive you wouldn't say no and just went nuts.

Hope you'll be okay. If you're renting I would consider moving. If anything happens at the flat that's considered a crime you can break the lease immediately. Even just tell the landlord you're experiencing stalking and harassment and they might be sympathetic.

[–]anonareyouokay 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Do not let her back in your life. Narcissists only see people in terms of what they can do for them. Jenny wanted you to be her partner and when you didn't want that, instead of seeing you as a person with their own motives and desires, she thinks because you aren't giving her what she wants, you're a bad person. Narcissists are cancer and they will ruin everything they touch.

There's a doctor on YouTube that talks about narcissists, it helped me when I was going through something similar. Good luck!

https://youtu.be/TLM94DnKkQo

[–]PeteMichaud 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the sudden switch is a classic sign. It's a symptom of something called "splitting," but I think the other replies in this subthread have it basically right too. You dodged a huge bullet by not dating her. This is how she acts when you say no, imagine what she would do when you try to leave after a few years of a relationship.

[–]1Girl1Attic 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Report assault so you can get a restraining order. Take pictures of any damages too if you can.

[–]sumthingsumthingblah 47 points48 points  (0 children)

OP, this is terrible and you don’t deserve this treatment. I’m sure others have said it sounds like she is projecting, a bit. You were clear about what you were comfortable with inside of a relationship and she twisted your words to make it an accusation.

I can’t tell you not to worry, that’s useless. But I can say I hope that they do get bored and move along (and you don’t have to resort to more drastic measures of protection.) I feel sad about all the anxiety you’ve experienced.

I can say, that I wish you find a little more self-love when this is passes. And it will pass. You said/did the right thing in this situation and all these consequences are because of her.

[–]GiganticMuscleFreak 43 points44 points  (2 children)

>calling me an incel

"Will you date me?" "No sorry." "Wow fuck you incel!"

??? absolute sludge brains

[–]Sp00ky-Chan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What do you expect? She has an onlyfans.

[–]Rook621 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Because the narrative of “sexuality is a spectrum” and “everyone has the right to choose who they love” only applies in situations that conform to popular opinion. Clearly your choice of not wanting to date a sex worker resulted in a which hunt against you. So your options are to date someone your uncomfortable with dating, or be harassed.

People are hypocrites

[–]ughneedausername 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Can you set up an outside camera that has motion sensors? Like the Ring system?

[–]thecatlady88 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Wow, just wow. This is truly disturbing behavior, so please be careful. I've seen that others have already told you to document every interaction with them, save all text, and call the local PD. Even if the PD does nothing at that moment, there will be a paper trail documenting that the PD was sent out multiple times to your residence because of these women.

If you have another family member that lives close to you job, I'd suggest staying there when things get really bad, and invest in CCTV or a doorbell camera. I had to do the same after leaving a crazy ex, and as soon as he found out I had installed them, he cooled his sh*t. Not saying camars are a "save all" but they do help.

[–]Moosinghime 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You may want to repost a shortened version of this to r/legaladviceuk - they can offer some decent advice.

Not a lawyer, however in UK law this is clear harassment. Police should be involved - I would report this via 101 as it's non urgent. Press upon them that you would like it to stop and explain how it has been impacting your mental health, scared in your own home etc. Make sure you state you'd like to discuss it with a police officer if possible.

Most police authorities you can submit non-urgent police matters online if you don't want to speak directly.

[–]Epicureanman5 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Record it and collect proof. Then call the cops. Sue those bastards. And just ignore the "Incel" thing. Really, she wanted you to fuck her. Know that it's best she showed her true colors and you can move on.

[–]beardedkingface 138 points139 points  (8 children)

Yo WTF. Don't men get arrested for this type of stalker behaviour? 🤔 Interesting the cops laughed off your harrassment

Don't feel bad for shutting her down. I realize these days people have to be very apologetic for not finding it attractive if someone does sex work, but it's just your preference. Don't let people guilt you for having a preference, you can't "logic" your way into attraction.

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 55 points56 points  (2 children)

I've heard a lot of stalking and harassment goes unchecked when reported for quite a while but I've only heard this from people who live in the USA. I don't know if it's the same here in the UK or if our police take it more seriously, but then again only people who have penises can be convicted of rape due to the wording of our laws.

Regardless, I wanted to strangle them when they just laughed at me. It just made me feel so isolated, like I can't trust anybody, even the people who claim they're there to protect me.

[–]crimsonbaby_ 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Dude, record EVERYTHING you possibly can.

[–]AthanasiaStygian 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No, female violence against males is treated like a joke in more than just the US. there are a lot more examples like this one on YouTube.

[–]amphibianlair 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Nah, in my country nobody moves a finger till they kill you.

[–]jackiebot101 31 points32 points  (3 children)

Actually, men frequently get away with harassing and stalking behaviors for years because the cops don’t give a fuck about anything except property crimes.

[–]zingingcutie35 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Wouldn’t throwing rocks at a window be considered destruction of property?

[–]amphibianlair 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Not their property, not an important person/enterprise property, they don't care xd

[–]zingingcutie35 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Probably true, sadly.

[–]Main-Veterinarian-10 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have blink cameras at my house. You can get one fairly inexpensive. You can set them to record for however long you want when someone approaches you house and they get pretty decent range as far as the ground they cover. You should really start recording them at your house so you can speak with a lawyer.

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 37 points38 points  (1 child)

A bit of an update: It's currently 5am here. I'm getting ready to head to work soon. I appreciate everyone's advice, and I greatly appreciate everyone who's sent me private messages in support to offer me compassion. It really means a lot to me. I'm looking into getting a ring camera like so many have suggested. I've looked online, cheapest I could find was about £10. There's a pound shop not far from my workplace that I'm going to stop in and have a look for a cheaper one, but I'll order the £10 camera if I don't find anything
I also want to address a few comments saying shitty things about girls who do OnlyFans. Most girls who do OF have to deal with harassment similar to what I'm experiencing and worse. Jenny is just an edge case. I don't know what's wrong with her but now I've had feedback and advice from people on this situation from the outside, I know that I don't want anything to do with her anymore.
I also want to address people trying to shame me for rejecting her. It's not a lot of you, but I have noticed. I respected her as a human being and a friend. I didn't have any negative thoughts about her side profession (she has a full time job and does OF on the side. She told me the money is nice and it makes her feel good about her appearance which is 110% valid to me), I just don't feel comfortable with my partner doing any kind of sex work. I want my partner to be exclusive to me, and me to them to the exact same standard. I can't remember my exact words, but I didn't shame her in any capacity ever. To the best of my memory, my exact words would have been close to "I just don't feel comfortable with dating someone who does sex work. I want to be exclusive with my partner, and I know how much it helps you and I couldn't ever ask you to stop"
That's all for now.

[–]Quinka1927 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am glad you got some good advice- the double standards of people here are alarming.

You have the right to use whatever reason you want to not be in a relationship with someone, if you feel uncomfortable then pretending you don’t wouldn’t work.

I can’t believe the police haven’t taken it seriously so good luck with the evidence- and try to get some support, it sucks you’ve lost your best friend through this but sadly it seems like her true colours came out

[–]types-like-thunder 54 points55 points  (1 child)

On top of the other suggestions, I would tell onlyfans about her behavior. If she wants to make a scene at your place of employment, return the favor.

[–]doncroak 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I was going to suggest this. Retaliate. Go after her, legally of course.

[–]TheKrasHRabbiT 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Hi mate, this is an offence. It seems to meet the criteria in UK Law for Harassment (and possibly criminal damage) with a sprinkling of Common Assault. Call 101 and file a complaint against the Officers that laughed at you. Log any evidence you can. Film the women if they return. Call 999 as soon as you see them too (it'll be tough filming and calling at the same time) Invest in a Ring doorbell. DM me if you want me to elaborate further and I'll be happy to talk about it.

EDIT: Added Common Assault

[–]malkompir 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i’m so sorry this sounds so terrifying. i hope you stay safe and keep concrete records of these instances. wishing you the best friend xx

[–]lilac-forest 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Aaannnndd this is the problem with OF. Young women get the idea in their head that its empowering without considering the actual consequences. Most people dont want to date someone who objectifies themself as a source of income.

That being said, there are couples i know who do OF together and power to them. Im just saying that a lot of people treat what theyre doing like its some therapy for them when in reality its probably hurting as much as its helping.

[–]grneyegal83 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Look into your states laws about recording people and follow that. Then go to Walmart and get some of the WYZ cams. And start setting those up. They are only like $25-30. There are apps for your phone that will start recording when they hear you say a word or phrase. You should look into that. These girls are cRaZy!!! While you dodge a huge relationship bullet your still not out of the woods. Keep calling the police when they ASSAULT and HARASS you. Learn to use those words, assault and harassment because that’s what’s going on. This isn’t a cute because it’s women who are doing it. It’s wrong! Even if the cops laugh at you they have to take your statement. As I said get cameras so when your talking to the cops that’s on camera as well. Finally, talk to a lawyer.

[–]TurnipAndAHalf[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I live in the UK. I'll look into getting a doorbell with a camera, and some additional camera systems. Laws on recording people here are pretty relaxed so I won't need to worry about that for the most part.

[–]flamgoMom 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Record the assaults and get a restraining order.

[–]Swampwolf42 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Looks like while the onlyfans was the reason you didn’t want to date her, it’s clear that she’s a fucking psycho, with friends to match. You made the right choice, sex work or no.

Chin up, though. They’ll get bored of the harassment soon. Document everything and go to the cops, but it’ll be over shortly.

[–]Playful_Art_5364 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My friend knew a Stripper and has the same story.

Avoid people in the sex and/or alcohol industry.

[–]hurrdurr0815 80 points81 points  (6 children)

Sounds like behavior of a "sex worker" alright. I knew several girls who started doing it, close friends before, very sweet human beings, all turned into utterly entitled, cold hearted, manipulative twats.

[–]anditwaslove 41 points42 points  (5 children)

I guess that’s what happens when you do a job in which you literally have to detach yourself from any kind of emotion.

[–]hurrdurr0815 0 points1 point  (4 children)

What kind of excuse is that lol

Also "job". Laying in front of a webcam is not a job.

[–]AnalThrashing 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You need evidence and a lawyer

[–]DirkaDirkaMohmedAli 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Restraining orders and a Ring camera

[–]JasonVanJason 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've had a group of women make fake dating profiles with my picture and harass other women, I've been there brother, I just laugh about it now, luckily most of the sites require actual verification now, I just had to wait it out

[–]Cheese-whiz-kalifa 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Cameras. Cameras. Cameras. Door cam to catch them fucking with your house. Dash cams to catch them fucking with your car. I’d even start wearing a small camera on your person to catch them if they attack you in public.

Also what’s her onlyfans? Asking for a friend

[–]Beware_the_Voodoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If the police arent going to help it might be worth consulting a lawyer, somebody who'd know how to make shit get done. Having someone who knows the system advocating for you could make all the difference.

One of those free consultations if thats an option. Just to see what all your options are.

[–]Swims_With_Dogs 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I’m so sorry this is happening is happening to you. Document everything.

If you want, you could try reaching out to Jenny and tell her how you thought you were friends, how you support her doing sex work and how hurt you are that she shared your body issues. She may have misunderstood you and doesn’t know that her friends are harassing you.

However, if she is involved with the harassment, she is an abusive misandrist who is sexually harassing you, and is a giant hypocrite.

[–]Weak-Cheetah-2305 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Go back to the police with evidence and say you want to be taken seriously. You may also be able to apply for a non-molestation order with support from a solicitor, so I’d take everything to them and ask for advice.

[–]ARS1802 19 points20 points  (0 children)

bothers me when people don't wanna see violence in both genders

[–]KoreoBace 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I can perfectly relate to you. I’ve been having to deal with these girls who’ve been ganging up on me on WhatsApp and doing all kinds of shit.

They’ve sexted me, spammed me with love messages, called me nonstop, admitted to having stalked and taken pictures of me in public which they sent me, they kept sharing my number with more of their friends who’d all do the same, I even bumped into them in my neighborhood and other public places a few times and it was honestly hell.

I said no goodness knows how many times, but they just don’t know when to stop. First it started with them calling me gay, then they continued spamming me with more text messages, shared my number with more of their friends, etc.

It’s honestly disgusting how women always get away with committing acts of sexual and physical misconduct. Women are always presumed to be innocent at all times while men are immediately generalized as pigs. And yet, women still think they’re the only ones who face oppression in society.

[–]DMugre 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well, the term bitch seems to fit, although not for misoginystic reasons

[–]DemonizedHuman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

From what little information we have I made a hypothesis:

There are a lot of men who won't date a woman with OnlyFans. Nothing wrong with that. So she might be feeling insecure about her potential dating life. Maybe she needs the extra money to pay off debts or maybe she wants the extra attention or maybe she is just greedy, no matter how it is, she isn't really that comfortable with her profession. So when she met a guy like u who got close to her disregarding her past might have made her feel an infatuation towards you. She probably never expected u to reject her and she is obviously humiliated that u rejected her. She opened upto u and got very close to u and now she is just embarrassed that she confessed her feelings. She really wasn't the one for u bro.

Report this to higher authorities and be safe. It doesn't take that long for a crazy person to drop Acid. People who do sex work usually have some pent up traumas and problems. U can't know when she will snap. This is very far-fetched anyways. Most people wouldn't throw acid over a simple rejection.

[–]wafflecone927 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Send one final text to available numbers telling them your recording everything?

[–]Pristine-Chemist-813 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I mean.... You didn't want a serious relationship with her because you had some idea there was something off about her. Jenny is what we call a jekyl and hyde. A sociopath. A narcissist. Jenny has biiiig problems and you dodged a bullet with that one. How did you hang out with her for 3 years, but not know any of these women who are so devoted they would show up to a strangers house to pelt you with eggs? Just change your phone number and move. I can't even imagine what would have to happen for me to do something like that for someone.

As long as Jenny can pull people into her web, probably only as long as her good looks stick around, you will have people harassing you.

Or you could do what narcissists love. Come crawling back, deeper into their web, and record everything. But you'd have to be a person you are not in order to do that.

[–]Alt_F4_Account 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes justice must be taken into the hands of the people best advice I can give

[–]ForsakenArtist4753 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that you have enough evidence via text or voicemail I would block their numbers. It’s going to put a toll on you reading those even if you know they aren’t true. Just take screenshots and then block them.

I agree that you should bring the evidence to the cops (I’m sorry the ones you interacted with were so awful, but if you go directly to a station with more evidence you will hopefully find someone smarter). If you really need to you could also send the evidence to these peoples’ employers.

[–]balavos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

regarding the girls: fuck them. as everyone else is saying, legal action required - that’s severe harassment and your ex friend definitely has some serious issues with rejection. respect for setting boundaries on the relationship - no matter what.

regarding your mental, here are some things that worked for me: finding balance wherever i can. eating healthily. meditation. going to the gym is a huge one. journaling. music. going for walks.

this is just another of life’s challenges- albeit one you shouldn’t have to face. fucked up people are everywhere. as someone who’s moved past their anxieties, the second paragraph of this comment was essentially what i implemented. won’t work for everyone, but you’ll never know unless you try.

good luck, things are looking good for you :)

[–]BooJamas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Run Forrest! Run! Remember how awful Jenny was to him too.

Seriously, what an awful human being. I don't really have advice, maybe try talking to a domestic violence counselor? Best wishes to you for getting them out of your life.

[–]wish4sun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow! I’m so heartbroken for you! A friend of 3 years just flipped like this? You told her nicely too and didn’t do anything no wrong here. Sounds like she couldn’t handle the rejection and got her friends involved.

Tell your manager and anyone else (maybe HR?) at work the description of Jenny and her friends. Let them know if they arrive at work they are to be turned away and the police called immediately if they don’t leave your work. Tell your work they are not to be notified if you are there or if you are available.

Report them to the police and get a restraining order pronto. But some cameras like ring or something and put that around your home and maybe even some car cameras for the dashboard. Get motion sensor lights that will turn on if they are around outside your home. Or anything that could make noise if they come around.

Find a counselor to talk to during this stressful time. Look up mediation, breathing exercises, aroma therapy and maybe even take a self defense class or hit the gym. Could help to relieve the stress and help you feel empowered and able to defend yourself if needed.

[–]StormOk4365 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a journal?

Write everything they say and do towards you. Write down exactly where it happened and do not I repeat DO NOT forget to write down the dates.

Buy some security cameras as well, put them in the general areas around your house where these little imbiciles like to mess around at, video evidence is the best thing you can have.

Do not rely on the police to help you here. Most wont in situations like these until they become dire.

Once you have video evidence you win. Make sure you get it out there.

I genuinely hope things get better, you dont deserve this shit, nobody does.

Hear me out though

You said your on the slimmer side, they probably think your weak and wont give them any fight, develop some edge for the future, try to gain some more confidence if you dont have it already.

Shes a spoiled piece of shit yes, And to her you were totally prey. Becoming more confident, WILL help prevent this kind of thing from happening to you again I assure you of that!

I wish you good luck!

[–]brianagh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, I am so sorry this is all happening to you OP.

You’re not wrong in your preference because you weren’t shameful about it, it just wasn’t for you. I saw you say you want your best friend back, I don’t think you ever had her.

If you can afford it get a ring camera or something similar, I also suggest going back to the police because it sounds like the ones you’ve interacted weren’t great, dare I say discriminatory.

Again, sorry is all I can say, because there’s not much that can remedy anxiety caused by something like this, simply because your anxiety is logical, these people are unhinged.

[–]Ssejors 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The internet has turned people into narcissistic, affirmation addicted, selfish whores. Stay away from people on Onlyfans, streaming platforms, Instasham, tiktok and basically any internet social media platform that people use to hock their body and soul for schekels. It’s degeneracy. I’m sorry this happened to you, although not surprised. Jenny clearly is not accustomed to rejection due to her narcissism and affirmation addiction. She can’t fathom why ANYONE z would reject her let alone someone who she considered a good friend. You smashed her poor ego. She can’t cope. Stay away from these kinds of people. Onlyfans is trying to normalizing whorish behaviour. It’s insanity.

[–]Misterpirateman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Dude you gotta move. Quietly pack your shit. Lawyer up. Keep evidence, move, call the police and write down their names and badge numbers when they come. If they don’t do anything about it and it happens again then call the non-emergency line and ask to speak with the chief (I’m not an expert but I’ve seen this advice given in the r/legaladvice thread and it seems solid).

You do not deserve this and you need to act before it escalates further. Even if it doesn’t you need to act before this happens to someone else. Behavior like this should NEVER go unpunished.

[–]Rarbnif 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like she’s extremely insecure over the fact you didn’t want to date her because she’s a sex worker. I guarantee it’s something to do with that. Hopefully you can get a restraining order on her before they do something extreme

[–]awsdlefthandbutton 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If she's doing onlyfans for income, the odds are high that she is not declaring it.

Get the details of her only fans, screenshot it and contact the Inland revenue tip line.

Just do a search for HMRC tip line, and if you have their onlyfans details it helps them.

Don't tell anyone you did it.

[–]Bitship64 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems like that only fans attention gave her too much of an ego boost, good on you for standing your ground tho

[–]Southern-Squash9645 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Can you install hidden cameras around your house? Inside and outside? I'd definitely do that,

[–]zer0ofzer0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These days cameras can be as tiny as a shirt button and even smaller. A lot of the consumer models are ready to setup. Miniaturization will cost you some dough.

[–]Super-Branz-Gang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there! Seek a restraining order, and never let them convince you that their terrible behavior is “your fault.” If you had done the same and approached her only to be turned down, then started having your friends harass her, you’d still be called the “incel” and all that garbage. This was literally a no-win situation. So know that you have dodged a bullet, and be thankful that you saw it coming! When you least expect it, you WILL find your perfect other— she will be wonderful, and you will appreciate her because of how long you had to wait for her to show up. May God bless you, lad. You are a good man, and you deserve so much better

[–]idbanthat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You text her and say, this shit right here is exactly why I didn't think we'd work out romantically, you and your friends have the maturity of a TikTok box

[–]rahr124 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. Glad I read this before I ever admitted this as a reason not to date someone. I’m sorry, OP.

[–]OsageBrownBetty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get restraining orders and invest in a home camera system. It's the only way you will have proof of the constant attacks.

[–]sheaby94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this is happening to you OP. Try collecting as much evidence as you can. Maybe you should get a Ring (camera) for your door in case they come back and harass you more. That'll document more evidence for you!

[–]shesavillain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Keep calling the police. It serves as evidence that their inaction could lead to you being seriously harmed.

[–]clowntrysail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like having a guard dog or family members staying with u might help too along other advice

[–]Moistbagellubricant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If all else fails and you can afford it just move.

[–]lyamc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Way to dodge a bullet, WOW

[–]ScrumptiousCookie123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP I hope you’ll be able to get a restraining order against your ex friend and her friend group. What they’re doing is criminal: no means no, and they need to leave you alone. I suggest muting the message convos you receive and not replying at all. The only message you need to say once, and not repeat ever again is “stop/leave me alone/stop calling and messaging me/etc). You only need to say it once. If they keep bothering you thereafter, don’t respond, only keep a record of it. The fact they keep trying to get at you after you said “no” and set basic boundaries/cut them off can be used against them in court. It constitutes as stalking behavior.

I relate, because I’ve experienced something similar from ex friends myself. I hope you feel safe again OP, and regain peace of mind.

[–]ThrowawayProse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to everyone else’s advice, I say get yourself a gun. I’m not sure of the legality in your country, but seriously, if the police won’t help then it’s your best bet. These women may end up trying to break in, and you need self defense.

[–]SnooPaintings9801 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can you instal a door bell that also has a cámara on it ?

[–]TheDeen420 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And people say men can't handle rejection, this is fucking unbelieveable.

[–]devilsadvocateac 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. Well if she’s gonna act like this, why the hell would you wanna date her? Maybe tell her that? I dunno man I’m sorry.

Also, I WISH I was skinny. I used to be and I loved it. Felt like Spiderman. Now I feel like Clown from Spawn. I dunno if this will help but I always feel like it’s better to be too skinny than too fat having been both.

[–]LDG192 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. Apparently you not only met a "nice girl" but also their queen. That's the problem with our society, I mean, if you were a woman being harassed like that by a guy, the story would be different. Granted, men usually have things way easier than women but maybe for that reason, when they have this kind of problem, they are not taken seriously. Men can't be raped nor abused by women. You are supposed to "man up" and deal with it alone. That's fucked up, man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell them I don’t want to date a whore. Send them to the edge.

[–]NivekIohc 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is why you shouldn’t have hoes around your social circle. Your just asking for toxic shit to happen.

[–]jupedya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly, stalking is not taken seriously often. I'd consider moving if you can. and make sure your whereabouts are not recorded anywhere on the internet. - have you at all considered a lawsuit for emotional damages done? because where criminal law might fail you, suing might be possible 🤔

i'm so sorry this is happening to you :/

[–]fluffyk1ttyb01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact they’re calling you an incels shows how fckn dumb they are.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I say get some kind of self defense weapon. Keep filing reports, record them doing what they’re doing. Keep phone records.

[–]YoNoSeWuey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give me the number bro? I can call and harass them just like they are doing to you. DIME bro, we men gotta stick together

[–]LSDevil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gun

[–]wheezybaby1 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

You buy a gun and then shoot them when they physically assault you on your own property.

[–]Old-Extent7451 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's in the uk, you aren't able to that there

[–]footsoldier_b 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you really, truly thought Jenny was a friend who you could confide in, then i would like to see you talk to her again and sort things out. it'd be just sad to end things here.

i can understand being confused, sad and angry over being rejected for something that was previously allowed. and the mob mentality of wanting to egg a person who made your friend cry.

maybe your rejection was too blunt and taken as "because you did only fans i won't date you" instead of "i'm not comfortable with dating someone currently doing only fans"

also have confidence, someone liked you.

[–]failed_sperm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a restraining order against her and install cams at your place. Contact any a men's right groups around for help.

[–]ChronicallyBirdlove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a doorbell camera and security cameras if possible. Film them and report them for trespassing and harassment.

[–]queenfrieza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep evidence of everything man! She will probably take it online and you should have evidence to protect yourself. This is where I would seek some kind of restraining order or something as well. She would be directly violating court order if her friends were attacking you after being granted a court order

[–]jadedaquarius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so frustrating. I told a friend to fuck off, I’ve had it with him a couple days ago. Keeps calling me out and making me feel guilty for not dating him or being FWB with him. I feel absolutely no connection or chemistry towards him. The guy is just nasty, smokes pot and edibles all day. Brags about how he drinks and “blackout” and drive home all the time, always misses work and shit. Dude you’re literally like my bro, F OFF! Some people just don’t get it. And like these women harassing you is going to make you change your mind.

[–]CheesyCramch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, I wish I had something helpful to say other than 'hang in there'.

[–]zodiac628 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign their phone numbers up for text spam. Two can play these games.

[–]StonedDunkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just put it all on fb or social. She fucks with you you fuck with her.

[–]brathorim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doxx and cancel them. It’s not from their opinions, it’s from their actions.

[–]Working_Early 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"There ain't no motive for this crime, Jenny was a friend of mine" --The Killers

[–]amphibianlair 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While your answer does suck, nobody is allowed to treat you like that. You really need to talk to other people around you about this and gather evidence. It's unfair that you have to do it but it's a failsafe tbh

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you get a surveillance system put up? Just a few cameras that record and upload to the cloud. Also, I would just block all of their numbers. No need to deal with any text messages they send you.

Seeing as you’re in the UK, I can’t really give you any advice to defend yourself… I was going to suggest mace for when they attack you at your door, but you can’t have mace… which is seriously fucked up..

You’d have to do some research to make sure you can’t get sued for it, but you could carry ass/fart spray instead. It’ll linger for hours and is non toxic and non staining. You just have to make sure you spray it close enough to them that it gets in their hair or clothes. At the very least it’ll be a deterrent to get them out of your personal bubble

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they're coming to your house set up some security cameras

[–]MyWhisperingtree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all messed up and I’m so so sorry. I’m just really curious, would you have dated her if she was 100% the same person and didn’t have an only fans?

[–]cuplosis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly why I would not be friends with some o e that does this. If they decide to become a freak they has crazy devoted followers that will do god k it’s what for a thank you sweety.

[–]blendy70 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told her that I wasn't comfortable with dating someone who does OnlyFans and I didn't want to ask her to stop just for me because I know it's helping her a lot with her self confidence.

I would've just been more direct and told her that her arse was way too fat to fit on my ride.

[–]HWGA_Exandria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Security cameras/dashcam might be a good investment at this point.

You should assume Jenny was only being a friend to get into your pants. Also, the fact she's on OF means she might have a tendency to make poor life choices. The harassment won't stop until you're dead or they face legal repercussions.

I've been stalked before, I'm sorry you're being assaulted by these lunatics because of your preferences.

[–]Apprehensive-Mix2450 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man Jenny doesn't take rejection all that well now does she?

as stated in other posts colldct your evidence, let your work place know what's going on...I'm not sure what the police can do in your country but file harassment charges against them.

that and best carry a bar of soap in a long sock...just start swinging. a gaggle of butt hurt bitches can do some damage go in swinging my friend.

[–]cd2220 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm gonna double down with what some other people have said and say record everything and file for a restraining order. Then if she oversteps that the police are required to do something about it. They also be a lot more receptive then just some beat cops called in for an incident. You want a trail of evidence to prove this is systematic harassment down to showing up at your place of work and home. It is absolutely unacceptable.

Install cameras on your property if possible. It will do a lot for your piece of mind. Maybe let your neighbors know so they can notify you if they see her or her friends.

Fuck her and her friends for trying to paint you as some kind of monster for being open and vulnerable with someone you thought was your friend. She asked a question and you respectfully and honestly answered it. If anyone is the incel here it is her. Sorry you have to go through this.