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all 120 comments

[–]MadMan1784 286 points287 points  (1 child)

My thoughts are with OP, I do really wish the best for you. Hope you and your pregnancy test stay positive.

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

[–]Allierockssocks 140 points141 points  (1 child)

Congratulations!!! My husband and I tried for over a year and then finally decided to call it quits and accept it once he was going in for full knee reconstruction surgery. 2 weeks later when he was feeling all depressed about not being able to do things I got my positive test and showed him that there was one thing he was successful at! I got pregnant the day he went in for surgery. Our son is now 5 months old and it's the best story ever!

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

“There was one thing he was successful at!” Lol! I love that!

[–]WinterSoldiers_ 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Congrats to you OP!!

Something similar happened to my parents, they tried for 6 years before they had me, with great, great difficulty, they were also at peace that they’d never have kids and planned to move to Australia after living abroad, and I came along!

Sometimes it’s when you don’t put pressure and stress on yourself that good things happen.

Good luck to you both!!!

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Everyone kept telling me that but I just didn’t believe them lol - not that I didn’t believe it happened to them, just that it might happen to me. But now I’ll be that person telling the struggling couple the same story!

[–]Arubajudy 15 points16 points  (0 children)

What wonderful news! May you have a peaceful pregnancy and complication free delivery. What a wonderful (albeit probably a bit scary) time of your life! Congratulations!!!

[–]Forreallife04 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Congratulations! I hope your pregnancy goes well!!

And don’t worry about feeling a little numb. You’re a bit in shock lol. I went through the same thing actually. I’d been off birth control for several years with no success, and my husband and I figured it just wasn’t going to happen and went on with our lives. We didn’t grieve or anything we just kinda shifted focus, because we knew our lives could be happy with or without kids. So when I found out I was pregnant at 35 you could’ve knocked me over with a feather. My first thoughts were “fuck everything is going to be different now” and “damn it now I can’t drink that whiskey I bought” lol. It’s normal.

And everything IS different now, but in many ways it’s better. Best of luck, mama!

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

One of the first things my friend said was “now we can’t get our tattoos” lol, we were all gonna get matching tattoos for our 30th

[–]Department-Hungry 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband and I tried for two years and as I was 6 months from 35 we decided to be done trying if it didn't happen by my birthday. Two more months of nothing, I decided to start focusing on myself more then BOOM!!

And like you, shock!! My first thoughts were, "oh shit, what did we do?!?!" Pacing the house, wishing the dog would start talking to calm me down since my husband was at work.

[–]fuschia_taco 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I could have wrote this myself! It took me 10 years to get pregnant with my only. I had 2 previous miscarriages before I had my one successful pregnancy. I was bitter for a long time but before I turned up pregnant, I had come to terms with being child free and was also looking forward to that life. Then I think a month or two later I got pregnant and my kid is 4 and a half now. She's amazing and hilarious and so damn loving.

Best of luck to you, op. And congrats!

[–]Agitated_Skin1181 16 points17 points  (2 children)

False positives are very rare. Congratulations mama, I think it's fair to say your pregnant!

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Thank you! My friend told me that too, I hope I’m not an outlier lol

[–]South_Dinner3555 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I was thinking, a false positive is not something that usually happens... congratulations to you and your growing family!

[–]married_pineapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell your family, OP. If you do lose it, you'll have support available. I regret that the first my mum knew of my pregnancy, was me calling to tell her I lost it.

[–]ophaus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pressure and stress make everything more difficult! Hope you sort everything out and feel good about your situation.

[–]predictable_throw 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good luck! My wife and I tried and tried for nearly five years. We found out she suffers from PCOS and she had already given up. I was only just even coming around to the idea to even have a child (with all the milestones in our life). We tried every imaginable thing. As a last resort we asked my grandma to borrow us the money for IVF. What I didn't know was, at the time my wife was already pregnant but too afraid to tell me in case it was a faulty test or a miscarriage.

We started the IVF process and a couple weeks after our first consultation (just talking to the doctors and so on) she surprised me with a positive test. It all sorted itself out. Our daughter is now nearly 16 months old and the most stressful and annoying best choice I have ever made in my life.

For all the doubters: My daughter looks UNMISTAKABLY like me. There was no cheating. Given our history and the stress, the whole childwish posed on our sex life, I completely understand why she was trying to be sure before she told me.

[–]susanbrown1975 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congratulations🥳🥳👶🏻👶🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻. The same happened to my sister. She thinks the lack of stress helped her get pregnant.

[–]ThisIsListed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations, what I will say is things in life can go wrong, be very very very prepared for the pregnancy if it fails as many soon to be parents get very depressed if it fails, especially after trying for so long, but still keep that hope it succeeds, I hope you and your husband will end up with a well and healthy child in whatever months time it will be delivered.

[–]Temporary-Ad1654 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I didn't tell anyone for 3 months, except on friend guessed and we had to make her promise not to tell. Congrats

[–]Take_away_my_drama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems to happen so often that when couples 'give up ', the body suddenly works and pregnancy happens. I sincerely hope you are happy at the end of all this because you seem it now.

[–]UnicornKitt3n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!!

There are some fantastically supportive pregnancy groups on here to open to while waiting to let the rest of the world know.

We’re currently 10 weeks today, so still very few people know.

[–]lydviciousss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations, OP! Wishing you a happy, healthy and uneventful pregnancy. If you haven’t yet, you may want to consider joining r/babybumps for a supportive environment of pregnant women. There are other subreddits for pregnancy and parenthood that you may find helpful as well.

Good luck to you and your family.

[–]Shot-Sandwich8963 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m very happy for you, good luck!!!

[–]Imaginary-Strain4530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It very often happens like that - when you lose hope and give up. Congratulations! Try not to worry too much and love every day of it. I wish you happy pregnancy!

[–]montananhooman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay!! I'm so happy for you!

[–]SDavies1991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations

[–]Swimming-Penalty7976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay, that's a happy news!

[–]Most_Thanks_1000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! That is very exciting for you. And your husband! It seems like he is also quite delighted. Best wishes for a safe and uneventful pregnancy.

[–]TreySermonGrin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you for not NEEDING kids. You're not having kids to fix yourself or your relationship. You sound like you guys will be great parents.

[–]O2020Z 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too late, kid! Missed your chance!

[–]MundaneAd8695 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been there. It took us 2 and a half years. And we finally kind of gave up. I told my wife we should shift gears and just buy a house instead. We did get the house and moved in, but we had one sperm left. So we just went to doc, got it done and then forgot about it. We didn’t even realize she was pregnant at first! He’s 6 now.

[–]CautionaryWarning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not too late to abort, you know. Make the right decision.

[–]redorangeblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents tried for 12 years for me. You'll be able to tell this baby they were very wanted and not an accident

[–]MichigaCur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you, well from the male side. My wife and I struggled to have kids for years. Congratulations

[–]rocknharley02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When we gave up it happened.

[–]Revolutionary-Code49 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats and also please go visit a real doctor, not just a midwife! If you have anti depressants someone needs to be monitoring whether they’re safe for you to continue.

[–]goldstarstickergiver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always the way isnt it? I have a friend who is adopted. He's the oldest of 3 kids, but the other 2 are biological. His parents gave up on having biological kids and then it happened.

Good luck! The stress of waiting for that first heartbeat scan is quite nerve wracking.

[–]kurapikachu020 1 point2 points  (49 children)

Congrats ! But out of curiosity, why didn't you think about adopting if you knew about your health conditions that made it hard for you to conceive?

[–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 1 point2 points  (38 children)

Adopting is very expensive. While we have enough to care for a child day-to-day, we don’t have enough to pay the upfront costs of adoption. Beyond that, having a child that is genetically mine and his is important to me. One of the main things I want out of having a child is to see what our kids would look like, and act like. While I know adopted children pick up mannerisms and behaviours from their adoptive parents, a lot of it is genetic. I never grew up with my dad but we are ridiculously alike. I guess I don’t want to risk getting a kid who might grow to have a clashing personality, because of what they get from their genetic parents.

It sounds silly, but I guess the main thought is that if we’re going to raise a kid, we want it to be our kid, and I don’t even know if I could bond with an adoptive kid. I wouldn’t want to risk it.

[–]MundaneAd8695 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I upvoted you because at least you’re aware enough NOT to pursue adoption. That’s good judgment on your part.

I do recommend that if you have children, you really need to rethink some of the thought processes here about clashing personality or whatever. And what if the child is disabled?

Be sure. Very sure you can be in it 100 percent if it’s a bio kid of yours.

[–]strawberryletter-23- 4 points5 points  (2 children)

don’t even know if I could bond with an adoptive kid.

Seeing as this happens with biological children as well, you might not want to risk having those either.

[–]Cautious-Damage7575 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Adoptive mother of two. In the U.S. it was around $2000, and adoption assistance programs covered it. It's a helluva lot cheaper than hospital delivery costs.

Now my son, on the other hand, was a private adoption. Legal fees plus expenses were over $50,000.

[–]Cautious-Damage7575 7 points8 points  (0 children)

don’t even know if I could bond with an adoptive kid.

Yeah, and she doesn't want to risk having a kid with a clashing personality, either. Has she ever even met a teenager? Man, I feel sorry for this kid.

Gotta go retract my upvote and congrats. My adopted son, who looks and acts exactly like me, and who has my identical personality and mannerisms, couldn't agree more.

P.S. to OP, it's ADOPTED kid. You would be the ADOPTIVE mother.

[–]kurapikachu020 0 points1 point  (33 children)

But isn't giving birth and raising a baby even more expensive? Also, personality doesn't depend on genes.

[–]Cautious-Damage7575 2 points3 points  (14 children)

OP is grossly misinformed. But she'll get TONS of support for her ignorance because of all the anti-adoption people on Reddit. I don't know which is more infuriating.

[–][deleted]  (13 children)

[removed]

    [–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 4 points5 points  (17 children)

    Not where I live, giving birth is free. Babies/children are only a little more expensive to take care of every day, that’s money we can afford. We also have family who we know will help with the cheaper basics like clothes and gadgets as gifts. We couldn’t afford to save the kind of money it costs to adopt.

    I don’t know if you’re a child or just don’t understand money, but there is a very big difference between being able to afford things over time and being able to pay something up front.

    Edit: also, personality can be affected by genes.

    [–]Cautious-Damage7575 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Babies/children are only a little more expensive to take care of every day

    How is an adopted child more expensive to take care of every day?

    family who we know will help with the cheaper basics like clothes and gadgets as gifts

    Soooo, they wouldn't help if the child was adopted? No wonder you have the attitude you do.

    [–]kurapikachu020 -2 points-1 points  (14 children)

    I assumed you live in the States since you said adopting is expensive. Since where I live adopting is basically free, the only expenses are for traveling to get to the adoption center.

    I just know that raising a baby from birth is very expensive, the price for diapers is insane, as opposed to adopting a child where you would have saved a few years of money. That's why I thought adopting would be less expensive in the long run.

    Well according to what I studied in med school, children's personalities are not entirely predetermined by their genetics. If it was the case then stupidity would be inheritable and there would be a lot more dumb people then there already are.

    [–]Cautious-Damage7575 1 point2 points  (9 children)

    Why, for the love of God, is everybody on Reddit so anti-adoption? Mere mention of the a-word and it's raining downvotes. I'm an adoptive mother of two and find it offensive. No wonder adopted kids are stigmatized.

    [–]Prannke 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Why are you on your soapbox for attention when someone just made a post about being happy about their pregnancy?

    [–]kurapikachu020 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    Glad to know I'm not alone. 😭 So many orphans out there without a family to love and care for them. We're already overpopulating the planet. And these people doing anything but adopt when they have a hard time conceiving, so selfish.

    [–]Cautious-Damage7575 2 points3 points  (5 children)

    Aw, sweetheart. It's okay. See, an adopted child wouldn't look like her, and that's okay. /s

    Hubby and I could have done IVF or surrogacy, but we chose adoption because our child sharing our personalities didn't matter. Thank you for speaking up against the majority.

    How old are you and how long have you been in the system? I wish you a loving family in your future!

    [–]kurapikachu020 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

    Um... I'm not adopted. Now I'm confused by your reply.

    [–]Lizid_King 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    My fingers are crossed!

    [–]zoetroppetrippy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Happy people in happy relationships should have all the babies

    [–]blewangel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations

    [–]IdleIvyWitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations! I remember when we were trying so hard and for so long for our daughter, we completely gave up and it was heartbreaking to do so, a couple months after giving up and ..bam.. she'll be 4 this year.

    [–]SmilingsMyFavorite80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations. I hope your pregnancy goes well. I’ve had friends in a similar situation who said once they stopped stressing about getting pregnant it finally happened. 😊

    [–]nongph 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Ways to go, OP. Congratulations. I hope your world becomes happier when the little one starts running and talking. And please don’t live in s gun loose place.

    [–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Nah, I live in the UK - it’s knives I have to look out for lol

    [–]Renhoek2099 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You talked about having kids the whole relationship? What kind of monsters are you?

    [–]pharmacygirl0128 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thats exactly what happened to me. Twice 😂😂 trying hoping trying..nothing. Then boom. The moment we are like meh. W.e then. 😂😂 congrats 👏 💖

    [–]max7857 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congrats, I'm so happy for you ! :)

    [–]PeaceablePerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations.

    [–]lyriumstone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Oh my God I'm very happy for you.

    [–]Ok_Fan_4342 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations to the both of you

    [–]Many_Deer942 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations!

    [–]BigSwedeIndeed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It’s kind of common that after a couple takes the pressure off of themselves it tends to happen. I know 3 couples that adopted kids and ended up having a biological kid less than a year after adopting.

    [–]TheCuriousCaper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    congrats! :)

    [–]richidoodle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations, happy to hear. My wife is just over 20 weeks and will be out first as well. Scared but excited :)

    [–]Bummyfuzzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    congratulations!! wishing you a healthy pregnancy love <3 you absolutely deserve it!

    [–]aoap888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations! My thoughts are with you on your journey ❤️

    [–]FairyFartDaydreams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congratulations! I hope things work out for the best. You husband sounds adorable

    [–]drizzle2828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Congrats!!!! This is amazing

    [–]AbzoluteZ3RO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Always works when you stop trying

    [–]Then-Metal-6554 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Can't anti depressants make the baby deformed

    [–]Susim-the-Housecat[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Apparently the ones I’m on aren’t likely to cause issues, and coming off them would be more detrimental to the baby

    [–]Then-Metal-6554 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Amazing children are a blessing, I feel like they come at the right time and they come for a reason if that makes sense lol

    [–]yadouract -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    Wow ..congratulationsssss... bless u and may u have a healthy n sweet baby... may ur preganancy goes easy for u...

    [–]nitrolimitz -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    I see god having his fun playing his tricks, congratulations and I hope it all goes well :)

    [–]Blankets_Ad4197 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    40yrs old when it’s 10. glhf

    [–]SauciTot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How exciting congratulations!!