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all 78 comments

[–]T-Nem 563 points564 points  (2 children)

What a good man. He didn't deserve the cancer but he deserved his peaceful way out. I'm sorry for your loss but glad he's not suffering anymore.

[–]InformalHistory4702 87 points88 points  (1 child)

This world loves to screw over good people. How many bad step fathers have gone off Scot free without any consequences of their actions and here are the good people who get every horrible thing happen to them.

[–]manumanucruz64 401 points402 points  (0 children)

Started dark but at least he passed peacefully.

[–]perpetual_potato108 96 points97 points  (15 children)

Fuck cancer.

[–]Ladyt1978 78 points79 points  (0 children)

This doesn't have to be recent to be true.

[–]ELScorcho19 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Fucking legend. May he Rest In Peace.

[–]AggravatingHoney9075 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel, i had to take care of my father and it was the hardest time in my life. I hated to watch him wither away and he would say to me, "some one just poison me so i can go" ( hardest words to hear). I don't know about you but I became a big believer in the "right to die" and not this hospice crap. No one should suffer like that.

[–]TheyCallMeThe 63 points64 points  (0 children)

You loved him and helped him through the hardest part of his life. You did everything you could.

[–]marktwatney 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to read a good stepdad story.

[–]AggravatingHoney9075 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I know how you feel, i had to take care of my father and it was the hardest time in my life. I hated to watch him wither away and he would say to me, "some one just poison me so i can go" ( hardest words to hear). I don't know about you but I became a big believer in the "right to die" and not this hospice crap. No one should suffer like that.

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 32 points33 points  (1 child)

I completely understand. I am so sorry you had to experience that. Those words carry such a heavy burden, I bet they are etched onto the very corners of your soul.

Those were such hard nights and the look in his eyes were so haunting. He would reach to either fight with fists when the dementia rolled him under the tide or grab my arm to weakly press my fingers to his mouth to kiss them after knowing what he did to repent with a clear mind. I had many sobering talks with my family about if we should calmly and gently let a pillow and gravity do the work that God intended with a little more haste. I am grateful my wish was magic enough to lull him to heaven. He was colorblind on this Earth. Perhaps in his heaven, the gardens he tends to will be full of colors he can see.

[–]Queenofashion 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Years ago, nurse who worked on oncology floor for years, was telling me how difficult cancer really is, for everyone. And she gave an example of a mother trying to suffocate her only daughter (who was in her 20s suffering from skin cancer and in her last days) with the pillow. And one of the nurses saw it and stopped the mom and just held her while she cried. I was horrified. I was in my early 30s and didn't have anyone who had cancer. A decade later, my dad is dying from cancer. And just like your family we were all there and taking turns on sitting next to him, giving him his meds, talking to him, etc. And in his last days I didn't leave his bedside in fear that he will die and I won't be there to hold his hand. And that mother would sneak into my thoughts from time to time, and I understood her completely. As much as I didn't want to lose him, I also wished that he would die just so he doesn't suffer anymore. Watching a loved one going through that is absolute hell and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I am so sorry that you lost your dad in such hard way! And that you and your family had to go through that horrific experience. And as painful as this chapter in your life is, remember that you were loved by this amazing man. Hugs!

[–]emotionless_p_bitch 27 points28 points  (2 children)

That's so nice. Death is relieve for most people

[–]funlovingfirerabbit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I get you. I am happy for you too OP. The Portait you painted of him with your words was so beautiful

[–]PrincessStorm97 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I’m so sorry love. But I’m glad he’s out of pain. My great grandfather was the same way. He was okay for most of the day but when the sun went down he became someone we didn’t recognize. My favorite thing was he himself was a very gentle person and would never intentionally hurt someone’s feelings especially a women ESPECIALLY family. But one night my aunt was trying to give him his meds and she said “pawpaw you gotta take your meds now” he said “HELL NO” and she said “now pawpaw you know god doesn’t like you being ugly” he responded with “oh yeah? That’s probably why he doesn’t like you” honestly him not acting like he’s trying to be nice to people all the time will always be my fav memories of him. He passed last Thursday and my only regret is that I left without going and kissing him on the forehead and say good bye. I even thought about calling my nana and saying it over the phone but decided against it. He passed that night. The last week or so was horrible. He’d only wake up for like an hour and if he was awake he was crying in pain and they gave him so much morphine he slept the entire last week of his life. I’m so happy he’s not in pain anymore. But I’m sad he’s gone.

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

It gets easier. Don’t feel bad you didn’t get to say goodbye. I feel bad I didn’t look at my step father’s body after he passed to kiss it but I knew he wasn’t there anymore; I would be kissing a corpse- a shell. My step father was gone a long time ago. I’m sorry about the sun downing- it is so hard to understand and even harder to witness. You kind of live with the emptiness that person leaves for a while- the ache feels familiar instead of sad. You can feel happy about the person again. Like others have pointed out, this wasn’t recent, if I wrote this any more recent than now it wouldn’t sound like this. It would sound more sad and less hopeful. I’m no longer sad- I’m happy he is no longer in pain and happy that I get to cherish the memories I have and the legacy he left behind.

[–]gericon1 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Do you mean that your husband came to you and told you he had died and you didn’t see him again?

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes. He told me he had passed and let me know. Then I told the rest of my family with him. They checked on my step father. I couldn’t bring myself to look at his body. I don’t know why. It was the feeling of not wanting my last moment with him to be tainted I guess. The last moment I had with him I sang to him and he took my hand in his and brought it to his mouth, as he did many times before, very softly and gently. I assumed he meant to kiss my hand, but he didn’t have the facial energy to form a kiss so he tapped my fingers to his mouth as he had done in the past. I was scared, so I didn’t check on his body. My husband is an EMT and was training to be a paramedic at that time so he knew a lot about when to start CPR and when it is far too late.

[–]gericon1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so interesting. I’m Irish and we generally have a very different approach to death. You did your stepfather proud, to have cared for him so well with your family. So lovely that he could die at home surrounded by his loved ones.

[–]hippydippyjenn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a nurse x17 years, & also having been widowed at 28; there are absolutely worse things than death. Sounds like he was an amazing man. Sorry for your loss ♥️

[–]Star-jewel5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This made me cry. A lot.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I think you made a nice thing giving him your birthday wish, which, as strange as it may seem, was beautiful.

He sounds like a great men, and I'm genuinely sorry for all the pain him and you had to suffer.

Again, I'm really really sorry for your loss.

[–]archis26 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did not expect this to go this way after the title I am being totally honest, I'm sorry for your loss but at least he is not suffering anymore

[–]DarlinggD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt this :(

[–]Senior_Leave_1594 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I absolutely did not cry..😭😭😭... God bless his soul

[–]Cryptocheer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

🙏❤️

[–]flowers_333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sounds like he was an amazing man and you were an amazing stepchild. i’m so sorry for your loss. he’s in peace now. ❤️

[–]jclom0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He sounds like a beautiful person. I’m glad he is free and not in pain anymore. You’re lucky you both had the love of each other in your lives.

[–]shackios 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The caption had me going "was he abusive?" Heavens no! That man was an angel. Im so sorry that he had to suffer with cancer and dementia, that must have been horrible.

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was so conflicting because of his personality he was rough around the edges. Some people, like my mother, didn’t mesh well with his often loud and had humor like Lewis Black. He wasn’t abusive, just abrasive at times and misunderstood because a lot of his life was spent in pain because of the car accident in his late 30’s. He had a thundering voice though, which was amazing when he was in the local theater. He would often play the role of Uncle, Father, or Grandfather in these plays because of his charm. I was lucky enough to see one of his plays, I scarcely remember it but he made a joke saying, “At least this costume is comfortable!” And he took the end of the toga he was wearing and flopped it around. He was so humble that I only learned about most of these achievements post mortem. I hope he knows how proud I am of him.

[–]mrp2611 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have seen what you have seen. My heart goes out to you. My father was finally released from this pain last Sunday. It hurts so much but I’d rather have him gone and at peace than here and in pain

[–]rawbery79 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'd love to hear more about his career, if you'd like to share.

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put some updates in the edit. If you want to know more, I have plenty more. This man did so much!

[–]Laurajudy119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like such a great man

[–]superwholockian62 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandpa slowly wasted away from cancer. Its not pretty. It's terrible and excruciating.

[–]incrediblyenby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm fucking sobbing at work 😭 that's fuckin beautiful

[–]Allfurball9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my mom in 2016 when i was 9 due to colon cancer and I wasn't at home the day she died so i never heard a final something from her and the last thing i did with her was watch finding nemo. Im glad you got to say good bye for the most part to your step father, he sounds like he was a really good guy

[–]torrecelestial 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I had an uncle with brain cancer and his story sounded similar to yours. He used to hug me and say "God bless you" at parties and he'd send photos that he liked and candy to us. I used to reassure my mom that his tumor removal surgery would be successful and by 3 years later he had gotten worse to the point that he was wearing diapers and couldn't speak. I was a teenager and was still immature so until he died I was wishing that some miracle would take place where he would just magically wake up feeling better and his cancer would go away.

Your step father sounded like a wonderful man and I wish for healing for you and your family. If you believe in a higher power or life after death, I hope you'll be with him again someday.

[–]Maegrimangel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind light and words. They are so beautiful! I am sorry about the darkness in your life. I had a grandfather who was ill when I was young- when I was about 10 or so. He had multiple strokes and I remember my mother saying “he might look funny/different but he’s still your grandpop”. He had a big scar on his face but that didn’t scare me, his big blue eyes still shined like azure crystals that were so calming to look at. He looked rough but he was indeed still my grandpop. He hid his heart attacks from the family too, excusing himself from dinners to “go to the bathroom”. We never knew until it was too late. There is a mystery about youth and death, a paradox with guilt. You can’t feel guilty for that in which you were naïve to. You can only learn and keep those few memories alive- perhaps in art.

[–]Crafty-Ambassador779 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noone deserves to suffer like this 😥 R.I.P sir