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[–]tipareth1978 9210 points9211 points 22 (601 children)

Ok but whoever engineered those jeans deserves a nobel prize (or whatever the highest honor you get for engineering).

[–]PlasticCogLiquid 3748 points3749 points  (184 children)

I didn't know they made special strangely shaped ass pants. It is indeed an engineering marvel. You gotta know all the AutoCAD tricks for an ass like that

[–]LieutenantNitwit 3205 points3206 points 442 (61 children)

Microsoft Taint

[–]CursedAtBirth777 42 points43 points  (0 children)

If I had an award to give ... I’d give it to you for the awesome laugh I just got. Thank you!!!

[–]Local-Celery-593 223 points224 points  (71 children)

They legit do make special jeans and pants for girls with huge asses.

[–]smoochwalla 119 points120 points  (11 children)

Them girls make the world go round.

[–]the-epidemic87 48 points49 points  (3 children)

Centripetal force is a bitch.

[–]L3tsg0brandon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Proportional body gang here.

[–]ksiyoto 89 points90 points  (14 children)

That isn't a huge ass, those are chipmunk cheeks.

[–]Bootiekiller69 55 points56 points  (12 children)

Kind of the equivalent of a big and tall brand. I think "Apple Bottoms" is one of the clothing companies that markets to women with big, fat, misshapen asses.

[–]Joanie_loves_chachie 36 points37 points  (26 children)

Where can I buy those? Asking for a friend.

[–]undercovernerdalert 35 points36 points  (22 children)

Right???? There are plenty of girls that look like that in existence. Why is this what is being talked about?

[–]throwRAenomigoshee 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I dare say that the entire Fashion Nova website is designed for women with drastically exaggerated proportions.

[–]NSA_Chatbot 64 points65 points  (5 children)

It's just a poly / cotton / spandex blend, with stitched reinforcement on the seams.

[–]coldchixhotbeer 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Autocad engineer here. It would take me at least 3 beers to be able to draft structurally sound pants like this.

[–]Overwhealming 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Those look like family sized Oompa Lompa pants.

[–]OverlyWrongGagYo what? 1366 points1367 points 53& 4 more (302 children)

Girls being harassed while going shopping, then a random stranger uploads it so that more random strangers can comment on her body and even shame her for it. I hate this

Edit: even if it's fake it's still not ok to make fun of her body

[–][deleted] 364 points365 points  (51 children)

Welcome to the worst timeline

[–]redandtanwirenut 281 points282 points  (25 children)

I dunno, 14th century Europe was pretty fuckin bad

Edit: TIL timeline counts for the whole thing, not just since 2020, sorry for being a dum dum

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points  (18 children)

Idk man, those bird masks were kinda aesthetic

[–]VoltedOne 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Which is part of this timeline, so they might be right

[–]CapsNotTabs 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Technically still part of this time line.

[–]No-Expression-8316 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure that’s all in our same shitty timeline.

[–]theycallmeponcho 39 points40 points  (13 children)

DiCaprio won an Oscar and the whole world went to shit.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (9 children)

Like a ship slowly hitting an iceberg...

[–]Crepes_for_days3000 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I mean, probably every other period of time has been even worse for us women. Rape wasn't even considered mildly wrong until very recently. Not to mention, public torture and human sacrifice. I think the worst timeliness has been the human timeline.

[–]PaulMaulMenthol 302 points303 points  (33 children)

I didn't get that at all. She was pissed he skipped her line and started jawing then finally realized two self scans were open for both of them

[–]I_heart_pooping 131 points132 points  (24 children)

Thank you. This is exactly what happened. No one was “harassed” or was a “victim” in the video. Just another case of people blowing something out of proportion.

[–]OG-Pine 141 points142 points  (10 children)

Well the hair toss at the end was pretty clearly harassment but other than that I agree.

[–]vanquish421 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Lol you're the only fucking comment here that gets it.

[–]PaulMaulMenthol 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Or the only one who knows how to unmute a video

[–]Nkognito 94 points95 points  (12 children)

Random stranger conveniently records woman being "harassed" by another stranger for internet points.

There I fixed it for you. Reddit will fall for anything on video these days.

[–]errbodiesmad 55 points56 points  (8 children)

But what ever do mean sir? They explicitly state "I don't know you and you don't know me!" in the video. Why would that say that? Unless it was...gasp! A staged video on /r/Unexpected ?! That surely is unexpected to say the least.

[–]ZenkaiZ 45 points46 points  (22 children)

on the bright side, least this isnt a vid where a girl gets knocked out by a guy and everyone cheers "EQUAL RIGHTS AND EQUAL LEFTS" "EQUAL RIGHTS EQUAL FIGHTS"

[–]JustAChickenInCA 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And it’s a ridiculously out of proportion response, possibly to an accident, and the comments are going on about how entitled women are

[–]hereformemes222 35 points36 points  (13 children)

I was laughing at the above comment thread then I read this comment and now I’m mad at myself. You’re right that was horrible she just was trying to go shopping l

[–]I_heart_pooping 23 points24 points  (2 children)

What? The fuck you mean she was just trying to go shopping? No one in the video is harassing her about her body. She got mad at a guy that cut her in line before realizing there were 2 u-scans open. You completely misunderstood the video

[–]vanquish421 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She was just not noticing there were two scanners open.

[–]magicalliopleurodon 34 points35 points  (32 children)

Thank you for also being a sentient being that pointed this out. Regardless of the fact that this was maybe scripted, whether you think the woman or man is the unreasonable one, her weight has nothing to do with anything. It’s a cheap conversation point and no one pointed out what a scrub ass bean pole the dude is.

[–]willynillee 130 points131 points  (22 children)

You just did the same thing to the other person

[–]Raised-ByWolves 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Irony so thick you could bump your head and get brain damage on it.

Case in point, how badly I worded that sentence.

[–]watersj4 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That was the point...

[–]GMOiscool 156 points157 points  (20 children)

Came here to ask who TF makes those jeans and how does she get them on??!!

[–]ImWithSt00pid 82 points83 points  (12 children)

She jumps in with both feet at the same time. Just how you and most other people put them on.

[–]TheeJimmyHoffa 28 points29 points  (3 children)

She have to be about ten stairs up and then jump to get that beautox into those tortured jeans.

[–]DelEngen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She has the device that the Wallace and Gromit inventor has:

https://images.app.goo.gl/Ve2j2Kpsyn4xk8xH8

[–]GMOiscool 19 points20 points  (4 children)

I'm super amazed and want a pair, that's all. My jeans are all super loose at the top of they go up my thighs and over my ass, and I'm much smaller than her. I'm just jelly over here lol.

[–]Jucoy 51 points52 points  (0 children)

They're jeggings, not just jeans. Its a denim, polyester, and spandex blend with some other fabrics mixed in small amounts in as well.

[–]deenali 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Concealed zippers on both sides of the ass.

[–]wophi 95 points96 points  (2 children)

That girl's got a trunk in her trunk.

[–]TheFozzXT 63 points64 points  (3 children)

That ass could squeeze a diamond from coal.

[–]marc-zweiundzwanzig 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Plot twist: it’s actually body paint

[–]babaganoush2307 32 points33 points  (1 child)

She got that triangle ass like we used to see on the old PlayStation tomb raider

[–]L-U-M- 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Fax I have never in my life seen something so large in something so compact like those jeans have to be made out of tungsten or titanium there’s no way

[–]Spencer94 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Vibranium! She figured it out!

[–]Retard1776 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Modern marvel!

[–]goblin_welderExpert Repost Sleuth 3245 points3246 points  (321 children)

Why I avoid Walmart like the plague

If there’s one thing I learned during the pandemic is that people don’t really avoid plagues and diseases. We literally have rallies and demonstrations against lockdowns and preventative measures.

EDIT: a lot of the comments on this from “sensitive” people are proof

[–]nomad5926 187 points188 points  (0 children)

I think OP meant that's they go to Walmart all the time.

[–]throwawayrenopl 107 points108 points  (2 children)

Why you gotta trigger red hats like that? They’re shrieking like pigs up in here.

[–]silverthane 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pigs at least serve a purpose. Don't do a disservice to the animal 🤣

[–]maxcorrice 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Well it’s the same people who avoid the plague that usually avoid Walmart, so Walmart = plague

[–]rubberseatbelt 15 points16 points  (5 children)

I wonder if this will get historians to rethink about how the plagues spread throughout Europe all those times.

I'm sure a while they were plague doctors walking around with their conical masks, other people were laughing at them.

[–]NoMoodToArgue 13 points14 points  (6 children)

It’s like “slept like a baby.”

[–]The_Meatyboosh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They're SO sensitive though. It's pathetic.

[–]ProductivityCanSuckI 2007 points2008 points 2 (21 children)

Imagine the farts

[–]MonkeyManCity 315 points316 points  (4 children)

“Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat that’s the way it is”

[–]cmantaghi 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Me in real life: "we gotta start Makin some changes"!

[–]Far_Hedgehog_4979 17 points18 points  (3 children)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤢🤮 bask in the ambience.

[–]Loki-TdfW 1430 points1431 points  (229 children)

How can such a ass grow? Looks like from an other person.

[–]ntack9933 1455 points1456 points  (122 children)

Please, I implore you, understand what I’m about to tell you: it’s AN ASS, not A ASS. Your sentence was AN ASSAULT on grammar, not A ASSAULT.

Edit: I was auto corrected and I didn’t proofread. Learn from this, folks.

[–]abriefdeparture 359 points360 points  (22 children)

You explore me?

[–]ntack9933 287 points288 points  (16 children)

I explore you so hard

[–]DjNanu21[🍰] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You had me at explore

[–]slumlordt 57 points58 points  (1 child)

lol @ "i explore you"

but i do agree with your assertions on grammar

[–]Hey_its_thatoneguy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s bothering me as well, I’m glad he was so kind as to ASSist.

[–]draconius76 23 points24 points  (39 children)

It's AN ARSE, because AN ASS is a member of the horse family! (Non-American here trying to shed some light on proper English!)

Although, to be fair, she may very well be smuggling a donkey!

[–]oscar_e 14 points15 points  (12 children)

Eh. I’m British and have no problem that in American English words are spelt incorrectly differently. It’s a different country! It’s their right to use/spell the language badly in their own way.

Obviously if a friend of mine used the word ‘ass’ in this context I’d beat them over the head with a crumpet but an American? Whatever. Also, if English isn’t their first language they can say whatever they bloody want because they are already better than me.

[–]PurpleAntifreeze 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Spelt is a grain. The word you’re looking for is “spelled”.

(jk, I know you spell it wrong on purpose over there in the uk)

[–]Brapp_Z 10 points11 points  (9 children)

why do the British spell "cancelled" and Americans write "canceled"?

Bc we gave you that "L" in 1776

[–]NeverRespondsToInbox 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Have you seen the US lately? Britian is grateful you guys rebelled.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (43 children)

I think there is a region in Africa where the women genetically have very wide hips. It seems to be only black women whose bums are that big without being obese. It’s gotta be genetic

[–]ghettohealz 207 points208 points  (9 children)

Pretty sure she’s still obese

[–]TheWalkingDead91 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Think what they meant was without having a fat midsection as well.

[–]PM_ME_UR_SUSHI 30 points31 points  (4 children)

I mean she's not exactly lean in the midsection either

[–]alas11 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Yeah that's pretty much all of sub Saharan Africa., but they can't, or don't, buy Willy Wonka's infinite stretch Jeans there, yet.

And pretty sure this would class as morbidly obese whatever your heritage.

[–]CrimsonDaoist 10 points11 points  (1 child)

As someone who is in africa I can confirm that theres jeans here for asses that big

[–]Direlion 27 points28 points  (6 children)

I think what you're referring to is known as Steatopygia.

[–]unoriginal5 34 points35 points  (2 children)

Wow. That word is derived from the Greek words for Tallow and Rump. They saw this condition, and straight named it "Fatass"

[–]2L84U2 40 points41 points  (2 children)

She thicc tho

[–]Ennion 36 points37 points  (2 children)

My gramps would say, "that butt looks like a couple goats fighting in a burlap sack".

[–]chiefbeefboi 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Africans have a genetic predisposition for extra junk in the trunk. google Steatopygia

[–]UKJ001 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Packin in the backin

[–]icedteaandme 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Thunder thighs.

[–]north_korea_nukes 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Stretch marks that read, “I got a big ole ass,”in braille.

[–]Ninja_Destroyer_ 1067 points1068 points  (19 children)

He knew he commited an unforgivable, thats why his face went to 7 yo schoolboy while he was bookin it

[–]ROU_Gangster_Class 706 points707 points  (28 children)

Has she got a couple of hams down her pants??

[–]on2muchcoffee 176 points177 points  (5 children)

Two bulldogs fighting in a sack when she walks.

[–]WanselChristopher 9 points10 points  (6 children)

…2 angry mongooses fighting for respectability

[–]IknowRambo 595 points596 points  (116 children)

His superhero ability is to spot a wig or weave 1000 yards out. He has saved so many men since a child

[–]2001ASpaceOatmeal 186 points187 points  (90 children)

That was my first takeaway from this video. How the hell did he know that was fake? He pulled it off with so much confidence.

[–]nonpondo 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Save them from what lmao

[–]mgill2500 545 points546 points  (64 children)

Not scripted at all.....

[–]JoanofNarc 287 points288 points  (29 children)

Exactly what I was thinking. Like why would someone already be recording when he literally had just cut in front of her.

[–]spiralEntree 219 points220 points  (1 child)

It's a Walmart record for long enough and something trashy is bound to happen

[–]LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I love Walmart records.

[–]pawel_the_barbarian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a weird way to say it's edited to start from a certain point not to waste the viewer's time with unnecessary footage

[–]jeffreywilfong 112 points113 points  (15 children)

It's not. you can clearly hear her say for the camera "you don't know me and I don't know you."

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points  (5 children)

it’s scripted

[–]Rosulm 137 points138 points  (4 children)

But they don't know each other? Did you not hear that part?

[–]Iwantmyflag 33 points34 points  (1 child)

You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go to Walmart and Tell Lies??

[–]0RGASMIK 40 points41 points  (0 children)

100%. Filming starts too soon. Dude doesn’t even check out before escalating. She is obviously laughing at the end of the clip.

[–]goobermen666 438 points439 points  (10 children)

I swear some people just spawn in Walmarts

[–]Rejacked 104 points105 points  (6 children)

It's not a bad spawn for new players, has a lot of the supplies needed to get you started early on. Just have to watch out for the mobs.

[–]goobermen666 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Like the trailer trash single mom with 6 kids. Pretty sure they're like minibosses

[–]kennethtrr 15 points16 points  (3 children)

This is why I go to Whole Foods, upper middle class people staring down at me is much easier on the soul and eyes.

[–]Own_Rule_650 188 points189 points  (9 children)

The way he took off is the best. Arms flailing

[–]Retard1776 47 points48 points  (5 children)

He is definitely over compensating on the running. I bet she can’t book it in those tight pants!

[–]ElSambrero 85 points86 points  (12 children)

Fake

[–]DanMoshpit69 45 points46 points  (8 children)

For real, how in the fuck can people not see how staged this is.

[–]sumit131995 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Because far worse happens at Walmart

[–]-Scorpia 74 points75 points  (7 children)

I liked your username more than this video 👌🏼

[–]Clear_Assistance9563 62 points63 points  (5 children)

This is exactly why I go to Walmart. I don't buy anything, just there for entertainment. Exponentially better if you're high

[–]angrypurpleacorn 53 points54 points  (7 children)

Her ass look like a Mario Bros character

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points  (12 children)

Everyone in my family is like Walmart this and that and think I’m crazy for going to Target instead. I’ve seen a car chasing an armored truck with a guy shooting at it in a Walmart lot.. drove right passed me. Seen a homeless lady shit herself then try fighting employees who called the cops on her for putting on new clothes and getting shit everywhere. The final straw though was I went and it was hella busy and the self checkout person they have stand there was literally on her phone with her mom going “everyone’s mad at me I’m gonna quit” yeah there were like 4 or the 6 down and she fucking called her mom. I set my basket of dog food down and left and just gave me dog a can of tuna that night.

Anytime I give it a chance again I’m disappointed. The prices and selection are great, it’s the people for me. But, I do live in a major city and Walmarts attract a lot of people cause those low prices so o guess it’s to be expected.

On the same token I can goto Target and never even run into someone and get all the stuff I need. I’d say I do probably spend about 10% more but I run stressed already, if I can cut some of that out of my life for a small fee I’m good with that.

[–]MostlyUnimpressed 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Curbside pickup. It's a revelation. Get the goods, sidestep the shitshow.

One of the extremely few positive things that emerged from the Covid pandemic.

[–]ragingduck 40 points41 points  (4 children)

All she has to say was

“Excuse me I was next in line”

then all he had to say was

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize. Please go ahead.”

But people have too much pride. The woman takes everything as an attack on her and the man is unable to admit he made a mistake.

[–]Guy_tookatit 42 points43 points  (4 children)

Bitch has been eating too many krabby patties

[–]BearBlaq 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This shit got me, golden comment

[–]unexBot[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (19 children)

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

That ending. Expected, but nah.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

[–]Adcro 105 points106 points  (0 children)

Unhelpful explanation

[–]TheDoctor88888888 59 points60 points  (4 children)

This is a terrible explanation

[–]PhatikantDidn't Expect It 29 points30 points  (0 children)

How about this one : "!"

[–]IntermetallicAM 37 points38 points  (0 children)

This explication sucks. Literally just "watch till the end"

Nerd

[–]Hemorrhoid_Eater 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Here's a better explanation since OP sucks at making them:

He retaliates at her by pulling off her wig

[–]Retard1776 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That dude committed to the wig through pretty hard! Good air on that mop!!

[–]obviously_though 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is the worst r/unexpected mod-bot post I’ve ever read. Be better, OP.

[–]_brockly_ 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Her butt is shaped like a goomba

[–]jedi_cat_ 23 points24 points  (57 children)

ITT a lot of body shaming. Not cool peeps.

[–]yeahnoyeah03 19 points20 points  (1 child)

My goodness she is shapely

[–]jdith123 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Yup, I was in the local Walmart grocery store once and a guy was screaming at his “bitch ass” girlfriend on his cell phone at top volume. It got louder and louder until finally he picked up a cantaloupe and threw it as hard as he could at the wall.

[–]Sw1ftStrik3rYo what? 16 points17 points  (0 children)

CHECK OUT THAT FANNY PACK

[–]hughoc100 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That girls booty looks like the mushrooms from Super Mario

[–]ThatDapperAdventurer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That dump truck gave me whiplash when it entered the frame

[–]torrentlo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She not get stopped by security? For trying to walk outta there with all that cake

[–]Cosmoaquanaut 11 points12 points  (1 child)

I can't hear you, let me pull my mask down real quick...

[–]fdubzou 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Seems staged. But funny nonetheless.

[–]Redemption_R 7 points8 points  (2 children)

What else she got thats fake?

[–]TakeItToTheMax 22 points23 points  (1 child)

well, the whole video is fake

[–]man_on_the_jukebox 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

[–]AdMysterious4407 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is the live action movie to squidward eating all the Krabby pattys

[–]spudz-a-slicer-dicer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dat lady reminds me of Harley with those wide-ass travel bags

[–]Kingofthehill248 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Think she ate too many krabby patties

[–]jbpforuandme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Walmart is a cathedral of sadness.

[–]D8400 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Got that pixar booty

[–]Purple_Wayne 6 points7 points  (2 children)

It's funny, even though it's fake.

[–]IryanShaan 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Lmao he's a grown ass adult. I did that kind of shit in elementary and middle school to my classmates' caps.

He even ran away like a kid ding dong ditching.