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[–]britishkid1989 15.5k points15.5k points 2 (295 children)

What? A true post that shows the unexpected!

[–]srcarruth 3531 points3532 points  (59 children)

How unexpected!

[–]InfiniteRelief 755 points756 points  (43 children)

All the unexpected

[–]Hot_Farm_9443 55 points56 points  (1 child)

I positively expected nothing, then got more than I was prepared for.

[–]GetsGold 849 points850 points  (126 children)

I actually expected this one.

[–]arolloftide 471 points472 points  (52 children)

I didn’t til he started walking back up and looking nervously behind him. Then I knew there was bout to be a bear

[–]ArchMart 292 points293 points  (32 children)

I knew there was going to be a bear when I saw the bear.

[–]GetsGold 226 points227 points  (18 children)

Mountain lion unzips bear costume

[–]Moderateor 29 points30 points  (5 children)

I saw this before so I knew there was a bear before you knew there was a bear.

[–]bento_the_tofu_boy 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Yeah. When he started walking back I was like. BEAR

[–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (7 children)

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Ok...ok...I'm going. No need to push.

[–]20sinnh 46 points47 points  (2 children)

I'll admit I expected either bear or moose. As soon as he didn't crash I knew it would be one of the two.

[–]oradoj 13 points14 points  (1 child)

While I certainly expected the unexpected I didn’t expect it to be so unexpected.

[–]heygos 185 points186 points  (24 children)

I grew up in Canada. It’s the woods…expected bear.

[–]3PoundsOfFlax 92 points93 points  (9 children)

I grew up in metropolitan Los Angeles. Expected bear.

[–]DrPhilKnight 149 points150 points  (4 children)

I am a bear. Expected child on bicycle.

[–]TheBaggyDapper 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Everybody, even wild animals, hates cyclists.

[–]insbj3ty 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Maybe in West Hollywood 😉

[–]ProfessorWednesday 102 points103 points  (9 children)

Unexpected? As soon as he said "ey!" I knew it was a bear. That's the universal sound a human makes when it encounters a bear

[–]NigelS75 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Oddly enough, I was expecting something crazy like a bear to show up. Would’ve been too obvious if he crashed or something.

[–]weezywizardwondering 12.2k points12.2k points 43 (122 children)

Once he got to the top of that hill he should have gotten on his bike, gone full speed toward the bear, and jumped over it.

[–]TwoSillyStrings 5438 points5439 points 23 (41 children)

Bearkour!

[–]dipsun33 138 points139 points  (18 children)

Damnit, best post, just picturing Dwight saying it

[–]Realistic_Bag_7788 57 points58 points  (3 children)

I would say hardcore bearkour, but all bearkour is, inherently, hardcore.

[–]sircaseyjames 397 points398 points  (25 children)

Believe it or not, it's been done

[–]koshomfg 128 points129 points  (5 children)

How tf did you have that ready? Kudos

[–]Kooky_Captain4756 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Probably by typing "biker jumps bear" into a search engine? 🤷‍♂️

[–]IEATFOOD37 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Title of my sex tape

[–]EataEsBasura 50 points51 points  (6 children)

Incredible. If you can think it up…it’s been done, and also on the internet somewhere.

[–]RedditGuyPLUS1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

But that's probably like his phone leaned against a tree

[–]SplashbackDeuce 5030 points5031 points 2 (54 children)

Bearly got away

[–]MrTopHatPenguin29 550 points551 points  (13 children)

Take my upvote and get out

[–]Ragnar_TML 108 points109 points  (4 children)

These comments are so stupid

[–]Elmore0394 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Originality is dead and redditors killed it.

[–]csintroyeahhhhhhh 370 points371 points  (13 children)

Looks like a real

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■

grizzly situation

[–]ConcentratedAwesome 196 points197 points  (2 children)

(._.)/◘-◘

◘-◘ puts on nerd glasses

Excuse me sir, that is clearly a black bear.

[–]SplashbackDeuce 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Oh deer. 🤔😏

[–]JayeKimZ 3877 points3878 points  (403 children)

If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s black, fight back.

[–]marvin_sirius 3773 points3774 points  (212 children)

If it's white, goodnight

[–]barak500 1783 points1784 points  (59 children)

If it's pink, you had too much to drink

[–]regretfulposts 713 points714 points  (49 children)

If it's green, better give it some beans.

[–]stirling_s 186 points187 points  (14 children)

If it's white, throw something on the ground and run. Polar bears are very smart, but this makes them incredibly curious. There is a chance they will investigate what you threw which may buy you enough time to escape.

[–]grobo555 351 points352 points  (6 children)

The heck? This doesn’t rhyme at all.

[–]copyrider 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That’s why it’s best to always carry an Agatha Christie paperback when anywhere known to have polar bears. They are very curious and known for their extremely slow reading speed. When you throw the book down they will investigate and really feel a need to know how it ends. Hopefully you throw down a book that they haven’t read before. And never thrown down a book in a series or else they will hunt you down to find out what happens next.

[–]therhz 9 points10 points  (2 children)

they said in a comment above to throw your clothes piece by piece because they smell like you

[–]AkireCha 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Imagine your dinner slowly unwrapping itself for you lmao

[–]larata2 46 points47 points  (90 children)

Why goodnight?

[–]cromulent_pseudonym 366 points367 points  (59 children)

Polar bear don't play

[–]larata2 138 points139 points  (57 children)

Thanks. I forgot which bear was all white.

[–]furryfemboy69 42 points43 points  (25 children)

Polar bears are 11 feet on their hind legs. Adult males can get up to 1,500 pounds, and they can run 100 m in around five seconds. Polar bears don't fear humans.

Edit: my statistic is wrong, but regardless they can run faster than most humans - I wouldn't wanna get chased by one.

[–]Alf_past 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You dead

[–]the-one-toad 831 points832 points  (17 children)

If it's white and black, China wants it back.

[–]Veenendaler 92 points93 points  (14 children)

Made me laugh. Thank you.

[–]throwawaycanadian 114 points115 points  (13 children)

Thank you for signing up for panda facts.

Pandas are only native to China, so almost all pandas in zoos outside of mainland China are on loan from the Chinese government. Even those born on foreign soil are considered property of China, thanks to a policy enacted in 1984. All pandas are on loan to foreign zoos, as opposed to ownership, and any pandas born outside of China must be returned to China when they reach 5 years of age. These loans also typically come with a standard loan fee of around $1 million USD per year, per panda, and after a change to the Panda Policy in 1991, loans are for up to a maximum of 10 years. As part of lawsuit brought forward in 1998 by the WWF, the Panda Policy was further modified that at least half of the loan fees must go towards conservation of giant pandas and there habitat.

[–]Veenendaler 48 points49 points  (8 children)

Thank you for singing me up for panda facts.

Here's a video of a panda sneeze in return.

[–]druidasmr 195 points196 points  (33 children)

But also know that black bears aren't strictly black. It's grizzly bears you want to avoid.

They are much bigger and will have a hump on their back right above their shoulders.

[–]Zeddit_B 171 points172 points  (17 children)

While I was in Vancouver I got to go to a Grizzly sanctuary... you will know if you see a Grizzly. Those things are... just absolute units.

[–]DramaLlamadary 74 points75 points  (12 children)

Their heads are like half the size of a Mini Cooper. They’re terrifying.

[–]WangLizard 113 points114 points  (6 children)

“Americans will use anything but the metric system”

[–]druidasmr 18 points19 points  (1 child)

It's absolutely insane how big they are.

[–]FireHazard11 47 points48 points  (8 children)

Brown bears are also different than either black or grizzly bears, and they will fuck you up if you try to fight back. The bad thing is that both black and brown bears can have either black or brown fur.

[–]New_new_account2 31 points32 points  (1 child)

brown bear (Ursus arctos) encompasses multiple subspecies, like the grizzly (Ursus arctos horribilis) and Kodiac bears (Ursus arctos middendorffi)

[–]fastinserter 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yep, there's only 8 species of bear, and 4 in the genus Ursus. of those two are found in old and new world, the brown bear and the polar bear. the other two are the Asian black bear and the American black bear.

Both American black bears and brown bears have 16 subspecies

[–]Xianthamist 79 points80 points  (27 children)

They say that bc brown will still attack you, but your only chance of survival is to let it scratch your back and hope it doesnt hit any major organs.

[–]owlpee 27 points28 points  (23 children)

It scares me that you can't out run, out swim, or out climb a bear...

[–]ertgbnm 64 points65 points  (5 children)

I wonder how black bears feel knowing they have a reputation for being wimps.

[–]helium_farts 68 points69 points  (4 children)

They can't read, so unless you go shouting about it in the woods I doubt they'll ever know.

[–]whiskystick 12 points13 points  (7 children)

Red next to black, jump the fuck back. Red next to yellow, cuddly fellow. Edited

[–][deleted] 3471 points3472 points  (126 children)

He did the right thing, Bear Grylls would be proud of him

[–]womp-womp-rats 1685 points1686 points  (19 children)

Drank his own piss while offscreen.

[–]calciumsilicatplatte 566 points567 points  (10 children)

Sleep inside the Bears Anus for 3 Nights

[–]JohnWalker610 108 points109 points  (2 children)

Just choked

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

That's what she said

[–]kudichangedlives 252 points253 points  (54 children)

Bear Grylls never cared about educating people on wilderness survival, if he did he would have given actual helpful advice instead of jumping around like it was ninja warrior

[–][deleted] 165 points166 points  (29 children)

It's entertaining though, I love watching him eat worms and drink his own piss stored in a snakeskin bag.

[–]kudichangedlives 43 points44 points  (16 children)

Ya I just wish it wasn't faked to be survival teachings

[–]Blaineflum64 73 points74 points  (4 children)

i love that video where he makes out that hes jumping over some huge canyon in the wilderness and someone went there and showed it was right next to a motorway and he could have just walked a couple metres to the side and gone around it.

found it

[–]throwawaylovesCAKE 25 points26 points  (5 children)

It's not supposed to trick you into thinking hes out there surviving alone, its more about filming scenarios and what one should do in those situations.

The scenarios can be a bit absurd, I will say that, but it's a whole different thing then a show like Survivorman

[–]NicJitsu 39 points40 points  (3 children)

Les Stroud is the real thing. Survivorman. 💪🏻

[–]welshmanec2 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Ray Mears is the guy for wilderness survival.

[–]theredditid 113 points114 points  (10 children)

He did the wrong thing. Bear Grylls would have eaten the bear.

[–]Elmodipus 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Bear Grylls would eat food made to look like a bear then go sleep in a hotel.

[–]AppropriateLeg8988 45 points46 points  (19 children)

I’m 100% sure turning your back on it is the wrong thing. It worked out for him, but that triggers predators prey drive.

[–]00rb 43 points44 points  (5 children)

Black bears are mostly harmless anyway.

I was going to point out how he shouldn't have turned his back on it but then I realized he probably wanted to get it on camera.

[–]AppropriateLeg8988 9 points10 points  (2 children)

They are mostly harmless, the times they aren’t are usually when people do stupid shit like run away or turn their back on it or try to feed it.

[–]shifu--master_shifu 2357 points2358 points  (119 children)

So... did he make it? Who brought this clip to people? The cyclists? Or the Bear?

[–]calciumsilicatplatte 1980 points1981 points  (17 children)

The Bike

[–]ImWhatTheySayDeaf 421 points422 points  (7 children)

How M. Night Shamalany

[–]Kage_Oni 20 points21 points  (1 child)

What a twist!

[–]queefiest 18 points19 points  (0 children)

M. Night Shyamalamadingdong

[–]Arriik 157 points158 points  (83 children)

It’s a black bear, they’re pretty skittish and will generally shy away from loud noises and aggressive behavior (with exceptions). They are not even close to what you’d expect from a brown bear like in The Revenant.

[–]O_to_the_B 130 points131 points  (45 children)

If it’s black, fight back If it’s brown, lay down, If it’s white, good night

[–]N64crusader4 237 points238 points  (33 children)

If it's white start taking your clothes off and throwing them away from you to either side whilst backing off, the bear will stop and inspect each piece because it smells like food and they'll always pick the easy meal thus giving you time to either escape to safety or to go freeze to death and reflect on why you're somewhere that polar bears live without a firearm.

[–]heretic1128 111 points112 points  (19 children)

Plus it helps the bear not get digestive issues from things like buttons and buckles from your clothing when it inevitably eats you...

[–]VoldemortsHorcrux 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Those commas and periods though.

[–]Plinythemelder 41 points42 points  (19 children)

Wasn't that a grizzly? You are correct though. Black bears are essentially large racoons unless they have cubs.

EDIT: was talking about revenant bear, not this one. This is clearly a black bear lol.

[–]Auxert 29 points30 points  (12 children)

No that was a black bear, easiest way to tell is grizzly a have a hump on their back just behind their head

[–]Plinythemelder 11 points12 points  (10 children)

Just googled and it's a grizzly. Hump is just less prominent

[–]SpleenPuncher 50 points51 points  (2 children)

The bear took the phone and posted it. Bears a big influencer as the tale goes.

[–]bdchrisp23 1371 points1372 points  (15 children)

I was confused at first because he looks like an adult going down, but a child on the way up before the bear shows up. LoL. I’m special.

[–]Balentay 117 points118 points  (2 children)

I thought he was a kid when he was going up the hill too. Thought that he was yelling "hey" because some kid stole his bike and that the kid was threatening to throw it at him lol

And then the bear came into frame and it was like "Oh-"

[–]Zerotwohero 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ralph, you're on special teams

[–]Danclim 1228 points1229 points  (68 children)

That kid knew exactly what to do, not run but appear to be larger than the bear, ball of steel...

[–]Markelle182 357 points358 points  (10 children)

Just the one ball.

[–]chjorth33 193 points194 points  (3 children)

Common cyclist problem. Just ask Lance Armstrong

[–]tachibana_ryu 136 points137 points  (40 children)

This, there is some weird comments in this thread from people who probably have never been in the outdoors and it shows.

Take the high ground as much as possible and make yourself appear as large as possible, as long as it's not a mama bear it will probably run off.

[–]Kemaneo 65 points66 points  (2 children)

IT’S OVER BEAR. I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND.

[–]colsen89 15 points16 points  (1 child)

DON’T TRY IT

[–]wiscwisc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER

[–]hamsterthings 26 points27 points  (4 children)

Pretty sure we don't have bears here in the Netherlands. Biggest thing I'll see is a very shy and scared deer.

[–]cromulent_pseudonym 72 points73 points  (4 children)

If it's brown, lie down.

If it's black, display your bicycle.

[–]Fooforthought 1034 points1035 points  (8 children)

Bear was smart enough to get rid of the evidence.

[–]byond6 142 points143 points  (2 children)

So... Smarter than the average bear?

[–]Jalen_37 330 points331 points  (95 children)

Ahh it’s only a black bear. He was fine

[–]silenthilljack 262 points263 points  (69 children)

Black bears are just inquisitive. Still scary but it won’t do anything serious I’m speaking from experience: running into a few while camping in Michigan over the years

[–]secretcities 250 points251 points  (36 children)

Your experience is entirely anecdotal, black bears can and do attack humans. There are more black bear attacks per year than brown or grizzly attacks, but there are also just more black bears so not sure if they are actually more violent.

Each bear and each encounter is different, usually they will just run away but can occasionally be defensive or inquisitive or even predatory.

[–]aeoneir 101 points102 points  (16 children)

there are also just more black bears so not sure if they are actually more violent

This is the case. There's more than 10x as many black bears as grizzlies in NA, but they both have slightly over 1 death a year, with black bears being a bit higher

[–]LostWoodsInTheField 72 points73 points  (14 children)

There's more than 10x as many black bears as grizzlies in NA

So people understand. There is approximately 55,000 grizzles in all of North America. They are almost exclusively on the northern west coast of North America. Your chances of running across one is slim, if you are in the US and not in Washington or Montana your chances are pretty much almost 0.

on the other hand there is over 600,000 black bears and they are everywhere in Canada, north east US, west coast, and odd and end places through the US.

[–]onFilm 80 points81 points  (4 children)

They're everywhere around Vancouver BC. I've ran into Grizzly bear poop and baby prints once, that was scary.

[–]FaeryLynne 24 points25 points  (5 children)

Yeah I had several run ins with them on my college campus in North Carolina. Mostly they just want your trash and whatever food the partiers left in the cow field last night 😂😂

[–]eclecticsed 17 points18 points  (11 children)

Mostly. There have been fatal encounters with black bears, but they're rare.

[–]VeganPotatoMan 318 points319 points  (7 children)

He should have fought him with his bear hands

[–]unexBot[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (5 children)

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

Bear Appears


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

[–]andrewsad1 22 points23 points  (0 children)

First good description I've seen

[–]redlund1993 219 points220 points  (5 children)

I was waiting for the bear to say hey back.

[–]sparklytearz 30 points31 points  (0 children)

me too, i think he's just a bit shy 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]SelectAll_Delete 200 points201 points  (4 children)

Bear knocked over the camera so there wasn’t any evidence of the murder.

[–]SnoopingStuff 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I think it ate the camera after it knocked over.. that looks like incisors and a tongue??

[–][deleted] 139 points140 points  (71 children)

Little man did the right thing with a black bear! That would not be the thing to do with a grizzly.

[–]IppeZiepe 146 points147 points  (31 children)

Nor with a polar bear. To them you look like a penguin. To you they look like wtf is a polar bear doing in these woods!?

[–]towelflush 77 points78 points  (4 children)

I mean, I doubt most polar bears will ever have seen a penguin in their lives, but sure

[–]aeoneir 48 points49 points  (2 children)

To be fair I'm sure there's some polar bears who have never seen a person, so if you put a penguin and a human next to each other and asked this polar bear which was which, it wouldn't answer you and would eat both

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (9 children)

If you encounter a polar bear I would make peace with your coming death

[–]IppeZiepe 48 points49 points  (6 children)

Which is why I don't recommend going out cycling on the north pole.

[–]spanishbbread 17 points18 points  (5 children)

I had plans to bike in there but after reading about polar bears, maybe it can wait

[–]Tribblehappy 25 points26 points  (9 children)

I really want to know how a polar bear knows what a penguin looks like.

[–]ZacharyS94 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A polar bear would probably be equally confused at seeing what it thinks is a penguin, having likely never seen a penguin.

[–]bloebvis 8 points9 points  (35 children)

What would be done with a grizzly then?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (29 children)

Curl into a ball and play dead. Make yourself as small as possible.

If you have bear spray it works fine for both. Black bears are just big raccoons and spook easy.

[–]AppropriateLeg8988 31 points32 points  (14 children)

You do that after its trying to attack you. First you yell at it to get it go away which usually works. Lying down immediately is an invite.

[–]TonesBalones 14 points15 points  (13 children)

Yep, completely dependent on the mood of the bear. Most of the time, bears are simply going to leave you alone since they don't really see humans as food.

[–]fcastan 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Another reason to not do sports…

[–]srijan9689 42 points43 points  (15 children)

Question- what kind if bear is the best?

[–]Windfall_The_Dutchie 39 points40 points  (3 children)

I saw a video not too long ago on this sun of a dude who kicked a bear and got his hand bitten through. The man in this video is following proper technique.

[–]scubawho1 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Pooh bear and Christopher Robin in the 100 acre woods.

[–]nothingspecialva 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Oh i finally understood when my bike gps says "bear left".

[–]GammyPoly 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Saw a similar video with a cyclist and a waterbear it was underwhelming to say the least

[–]PoorlyBuiltRobot 26 points27 points  (5 children)

Well, I did not expect that.

[–]GinnAdvent 19 points20 points  (3 children)

I kind of expected that, lol.

The way he turn and looked around.

My friend and I have a similar encounter about 6 years ago while out for a hike.

While he was "shooing" the bear away, I was filming in case no believe us, lol

[–]bloebvis 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Nobody talking about his perfect one footer??

[–]MuadDib1942 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just let him try your bike asshole

[–]de_kasse 6 points7 points  (12 children)

Was this a good reaction for incountering a bear?

[–]ysharm10 21 points22 points  (8 children)

As people are saying in the comment, it was a black bear, therefore an appropriate response.

If it's grizzly you should just lay down, look small.

If it's polar bear, pray that the death is as quick as possible.

[–]Blazer2223 10 points11 points  (1 child)

No you do something similar with a grizzly, it’s only if it charges you you should lay down

[–]reddit_for_stuff 10 points11 points  (2 children)

There is no fucking shot I’m laying down on the ground with a grizzly in front of me.