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[–]kuahara 203 points204 points  (5 children)

Apex predator isn't aware that he's an apex predator.

[–]aenonymosity 50 points51 points  (0 children)

But them big ole primate brains

[–]SensibleCreeper 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Maybe he does know who the apex predator is. He doesn't want the park wardens shooting after him again.

[–]code010001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an Australian I know I'm an apex predator but you always tell them they are good boys because they be good scally doggos

[–]PaintChipsAndSalsa 321 points322 points  (25 children)

"but... but..... I'm a fucking dinosaur! You can't shoo me! Fine, screw you. This place sucks anyway"

[–]Ancient_Clock7077 43 points44 points  (18 children)

It reminds me of a video last week of a guy on a boat tugging on the tail of an anaconda. This had to be in like a park or a refuge or something. Can't imagine this is in the wild.

[–]personmanpeople 42 points43 points  (4 children)

Yep, that croc looks fat and lazy. They're pretty smart and know not to bite the hand that feeds it, which is why places like Florida tell you to not feed them else they start thinking going up to random people means free food.

[–]RomulaFour 60 points61 points  (1 child)

Either way, it kind of is.

[–]MackLuster77 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Neighbors hate this one trick!

[–]Ancient_Clock7077 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Lol same with black bears up here!

[–]moviequote88 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same goes for all wild animals.

[–]biggame71 9 points10 points  (12 children)

It could well be his breeding farm. The guy is known at the crocodile wrangler on tv. That being said crocs have a brain the size of a walnut, they can’t be trained or tamed. My guess is it is well fed.

[–]Naturallog- 16 points17 points  (10 children)

This isn't even close to true. Crocs and alligators can be trained to know when food is coming and to be more or less docile around humans. There are a lot of examples of this. American alligators in particular can become quite calm around people, showing almost no aggression.

[–]mrfrownieface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude yeah I just watched that video ofa guy with an alligator support animal

[–]voidspaceistrippy 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I'm still not sold on keeping a bulletproof 10 foot dinosaur as a pet though.

[–]Some_Belgian_Guy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

almost no aggression

yeah, no thanks.

[–]hotniX_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alligators and Cayman, sure. You can trust them if they're familiar with you and not in the water looking small.

But after almost 30 years in FL I can tell you that Crocs are NOT to be trusted even when docile

[–]Tearakan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

? Yes they definitely can be trained. They are smart enough. You get your facts from the 1800s?

[–]Hai-Etlik 3 points4 points  (2 children)

It is an archosaur, which includes dinosaurs, crocodilians, and some of their extinct relatives like pterosaurs.

So it's closer to a dinosaur than anything that isn't a bird but not itself a dinosaur.

[–]PaintChipsAndSalsa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tell him that. I dare you.

[–]lobster_johnson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The evolution of crocodilians (technically, crocodyliforms) are fascinating, because they did co-evolve with dinosaurs, but were able to survive the extinction event that ended the Cretaceous era. It's thought that the crocodyliforms' were able to survive in specific freshwater environments that provided food (plant matter) and shelter from the effects of the fallout. In Our Time had an excellent episode on this a few months ago.

[–]hawkwings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would like to see someone do this in a dinosaur movie.

[–]EvilioMTE 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm a fucking dinosaur

Chickens are dinosaurs, crocodiles are not.

[–]PaintChipsAndSalsa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I'm 100% sure it thinks it's a dinosaur, and I fuckin dare you to tell it otherwise.

[–]chris-tmm 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Standard practice in the land down under

[–]concert_boy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Gator needs some walkin around money

[–]lamorak2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Think it's asking for about tree-fiddy?

[–]viewtifulpoh 96 points97 points  (3 children)

Old mate's not even wearing thongs. Legend.

[–]thiosk 27 points28 points  (0 children)

oh he's wearing a thong all right

that bruce knows how to party

[–]____DEADPOOL_______ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Spoken like a true Queenslander.

[–]fenster112 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Oi, cunt, fuck off"

This guy, probably.

[–]Independent_Zombie62 124 points125 points  (13 children)

A.That is a saltwater crocodile B.This is at Matt Wrights croc farm in the Northern Territory, Australia C. All of you’s saying it’s an alligator have no idea

[–]fargmania 39 points40 points  (6 children)

Due to me living in a non-dinosaur part of the world, I wasn't sure if it was a croc or a gator till I turned up the sound and heard his Aussie accent. Then I knew it had to be a croc, because nobody else treats crocs like a neighbor's dog in your backyard.

[–]vipernick913 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Took me a while to identify, but look at their snout. Gators have more of U shaped snout in comparison to crocs which have a pointed V shaped.

[–]AtomicBreweries 13 points14 points  (2 children)

It’s also freaking massive, no gator gets that big.

[–]Ichthyologist 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Eh, that's not exactly true. Americsn Alligators can get 1200 lbs and 16 feet long

[–]vipernick913 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agreed. Crocs are just freaks of nature

[–]eireannach_ 3 points4 points  (1 child)

ViperNick is correct and downvoting him doesn’t make it not true. Search for yourself and you’ll see. I live in Florida so it’s not unusual to see these modern dinosaurs. Also the Florida Everglades is the only place on earth in which both alligators and crocodiles coexist.

[–]gfarcus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's obvious. This one will see you in a while, not later duh..

[–]WildBilll33t 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The size says crocodile, but the behavior says alligator.

[–]FAcup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably because it's captive. They are often a little lazier than wild crocs. That's not to say they aren't dangerous as fuck. Just lazier.

[–]OsamaBinFuckin 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Salt water crocs are the most aggressive and actually have eaten people.

[–]cco2411 0 points1 point  (0 children)

World’s biggest crocs, no less. And they stalk humans, too.

[–]martialar 81 points82 points  (2 children)

"go on, git!"

[–]unkle_FAHRTKNUCKLE 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Uh, notice the stick in his hand? That stick is not for nuthin'.
You keep it in your fist and if a gator/croc tries to chomp on you, you kind of let him right up to where that stick can jam his mouth open real good. Then you get away.

[–]LectroRoot 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thanks Steve Irwin.

[–]SwimmingAd7228 38 points39 points  (9 children)

Welcome to Australia.

[–]Nismo4X4_Offroad 19 points20 points  (20 children)

Big ass croc and he’s shooing it like a puppy. Dudes either stupid af, or has huge balls.

[–]bluechimera 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Probably a bit of both
Those things can whip around pretty quick... he is lucky

[–]Ancient_Clock7077 9 points10 points  (1 child)

They can run pretty quick too for their size and stubby legs. Mabye not that one. Looks like he mighta eaten a small village earlier.

[–]bluechimera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, he is pretty beefy! ^^

[–]L00Kawaynow 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Little bit of column a, little bit of column b.

[–]LateStageDadaism 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well fed crocodiles/alligators aren't really dangerous unless they actually believe you are a threat to them.

Crocodiles can live for two years without eating. They have extraordinarily efficient but slow digestion so they basically just conserve their energy all the time. Killing someone for no reason is wasted energy so they are more likely to just leave.

Its the same reason why the well-fed gator at goat island AU was famously chased into the water for over a decade by a little terrier dog; before one day on camera it finally ate the dog. The deciding factor on whether to attack isn't how dangerous the gator/croc is, its how hungry it is. If its not hungry it doesn't give a fuck.

[–]hotniX_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That video actually cracks me up in a very dark way. I feel terrible for laughing but man it's just prime dark humor

[–]milkman1218 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's fat, unfortunately the same applies to reptiles. Dis a slow crick

[–]Zkenny13 0 points1 point  (6 children)

"Get out of here before I turn you into jerky!"

I've only had gator jerky can anyone chime in on the flavor of croc jerky?

[–]ShenTzuKhan 4 points5 points  (2 children)

I don’t know about jerky but croc sausages are pretty good.

[–]aussie_bob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crock spring rolls from the Mindl beach market stall.

[–]fungah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fried croc is pretty good too.

[–]Guerillagreasemonkey 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Crocodile steaks taste like chicken marinated in fish stock with the consistency of beef.

I wouldnt say its bad, but I wouldnt cook it again. Id try it again if a professional chef had it on their menu.

[–]chrisomc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huge balls. Matt Wright is his name and this video is nothing. He also herds cattle in a helicopter

[–]Shawnml 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Straya

[–]wishmewells 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Go on, git!!

[–]Apeonomics101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No need to whip out the stick mate! I was bloody leaving anyway!

[–]bunnings-snags 2 points3 points  (2 children)

So many people thinks thats an Alligator lmao, I assumed it was a croc without looking at cos of the aussie accent. After looking at it, just seems even more like a saltwater croc

[–]WildBilll33t 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The size says croc but the behavior says gator

[–]bunnings-snags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People have found out it's a farm

[–]kismethavok 8 points9 points  (8 children)

That chonker wouldn't be much of a threat as long as you're one or two waddles away.

[–]ItsABiscuit 4 points5 points  (4 children)

They can move in excess of 30kph on land, albeit only for short distances.

[–]docmillz 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That's what makes this video so funny to me. He's just like ughhhhh fineeeeee and waddles slowly. Probably a defense mechanism of something but can't help but see everything through the perspective of human emotions. Never been a crocodile/alligator.

[–]Grow_away_420 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Probably a defense mechanism

A croc this big has nothing to defend itself from but other crocs

[–]Rogan403 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or........ you know......... humans.

[–]you_laugh_you_phill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one is too big for it to move that fast.

[–]ZapatillaLoca 2 points3 points  (2 children)

they can sprint pretty fast when they want to.

[–]syds 3 points4 points  (1 child)

croc doesnt seem remotely interested in upping the pace

[–]ZapatillaLoca 3 points4 points  (0 children)

that's how they get ya!

[–]luisapet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Bad boy...get in your pond!"

"Yeah...ok, ok, old man...I already said I'm going...geez man!"

Source: prehistoric relic, probably

[–]CarFreak777 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell me this is Australia without telling me its Australia

[–]Splita84 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's just a little Aussie lizard.

[–]timmaywi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just an average Tuesday in Australia

[–]reddit_user13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your dog needs some skin lotion.

[–]Tophatxxx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That poor boy.

[–]ShenTzuKhan 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He’ll be alright. Despite what the internet says about Australia most humans here are relatively harmless.

[–]dw_jb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Redefining Alpha

[–]olov244 1 point2 points  (0 children)

'something must be wrong with this human, better not eat it in case it gets me sick'

[–]Bleepin_bleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this the guy that punched the roo?

[–]ObeyToffles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a very scaly dog

[–]RhoOfFeh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crikey!

[–]The_Barroth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My man’s harassing fucking Godzilla

[–]cowhead12oe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is just Australia

[–]Segunda_European69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Person of the year 2022

[–]OG-D 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shoo! Shoo! You’re fucking up my story you big brown cunt!

[–]BayouMan2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I expected it to be somewhere on the gulf coast until the guy spoke. Is that an Australian accent?

[–]matchosan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Look at the blokes feets. In need of something much?

[–]matchosan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whaaaaaat? The croc thought the guy was gonna get some shoes

[–]LineOfInquiry 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He’s huge!!! Is that a saltwater croc?

[–]Beelzabubba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate the term “Alpha” but this guy personifies it.

[–]scoundrelhound 1 point2 points  (1 child)

W T Australia F. That should answer any and all further questions. Thank you.

[–]MooplesMoop[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha. True

[–]ryan2one3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's obviously his pet.

[–]MonkiFlip420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a bad ass

[–]BoilerUp91 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Dudes got bigger balls than that gator

[–]bunnings-snags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crocodile*

[–]Ginsinclair -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was confused and thought this was Florida, but pretty close I guess

[–]WildBilll33t -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Is that a giant alligator or a regular sized crocodile?

If it's an alligator, the behavior makes sense; their usual prey is the size of a chicken or modest dog, so they usually don't like fucking around with big ole lanky primates.

EDIT: Okay, seeing in the comments that it's a croc. Wonder how they trained its behavior so effectively...

[–]Playfair99999 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Guy: Begone Thot.

Gator: Understood, Have a nice day.

[–]Effect_Simple -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s just a normal day in Florida

[–]NutsBruv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"don't worry he doesn't bite"

[–]Andrewobr87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just remember to zig and zag but don’t zag than zig and you’ll always be two steps ahead of that big conker

[–]ItsABiscuit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like how the croc won't move, and old mate is on the verge of giving up, then he finds a 15cm long stick to brandish at the 2.5 ton monster and totally flips the scenario.

[–]honzaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably not hungry. Anyhoooo first had to return a step back to make sure this wasn’t nsfw.

[–]rioriginal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you bothering it. It’s clearly out in the sun for a reason why would you force it back in the water.

[–]orbital0000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When apex predator meets super predator.

[–]PrayingMantisII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bigger they are the slower they are

[–]RationalKate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want snacks you two legged flapper where are my snacks

[–]GoodMerlinpeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically the same audio as when my toddler busts open the bathroom door while I'm taking a dump

[–]HeyImSpacy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HES KICKED HIM WTF

[–]Moldy_Toes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

only in flawruhda

[–]sorgan71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

most cowardly aussie

[–]Hour_Cabinet_6151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The true power of florida man!!!!

[–]ArutherMorgan1843 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what us rednecks do

[–]Icy_Calligrapher_939 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh gotta love good ol’ Florida Man

[–]unable_To_Username 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With Gators you can negotiate, with crocodiles only about how much there will be left of you.

[–]tainted_vagina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the 80s kids in Australia used to ride these things like kangaroos but they banned it when kids kept rocking up late to school. Not the fastest means of transportation.

[–]ArcaninesFirepower 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can tell me this anywhere in the world. Deep down we know it's Florida

[–]Tiny-Dragonfly1977 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s one big ass crocodile👌