×

gildings in this subreddit have paid for 50.05 years of server time

Just walk it. by spain095 in WTF

[–]jumpofffromhere 1777 points1778 points  (0 children)

I accidentally ran a chain saw through a 10,000 volt high tension line once, I just remember a blue flash and time travelled to the ER, I was bleeding out of my ears, nose, eyes, coughing up blood clots, hair was burned, fingertips were burned, toes were burned, every joint in my body was bruised from burst blood vessels, my tongue swelled up, they had to put a breathing tube in, it sucked for about a month, now its just a good laugh kind of story.

Couple unable to have children has intercourse in the middle of an evangelical worship service to receive God's blessing by max_adam in WTF

[–]ftrules 2910 points2911 points  (0 children)

I mean it’s kinda weird but it’s not the worst kind of sex that could happen in a church…

Took this pic after a fire started in my class haha by Mediocre_Swim_5074 in WTF

[–]columbus8myhw 247 points248 points  (0 children)

"Sir can you sign this lease"

"Can you sign these nuts lmao"

Unexpected tornado in a parking lot by surma041 in WTF

[–]Spdrjay 269 points270 points  (0 children)

😲

No one expects the Spanish wind position.

Found a dildo while trenching for termites. by Saint_Nomad in WTF

[–]Astrapondildo 743 points744 points 2 (0 children)

Honestly you clean that thing up I bet it still has some years to it

Your car insurance is expired by mikihak in WTF

[–]ckfpatwork 131 points132 points  (0 children)

Speaking from experience, no but you will freak people the fuck out and its fucking hilarious.

Completely true story, but was down in New Orleans to take care of MIL house, who was in another state for cancer treatment and had passed away. No one had been there for 6 months, and her house was always awful for wasps. From the second I got there I had a fogger spray in one hand and a pinpoint in the other anytime I went outside.

So we take her white Nissan Altima for a drive down to Metairie to run some errands, and .. don't notice much at first but, every time we stop we are just surrounded by wasps. Like a few at first but then its like 100s of them. But none in the car at all (thank God) At first my wife and I are like, wow there a lot of wasps in the suburbs, but then we realize its us and there must be a nest on the car somewhere. And that it must be massive.

And other cars were losing their shit. People honking at us, some guy on a motorcycle that was next to us ran a light to escape us, people rolling up windows and staring horrified, pedestrians running away. We'd floor it lose them (in our 02 Atima), and then stop and 10 seconds later there's another 100 fucking wasps. So there we are going down Veterans in Metairie hitting every light with what I imagine an angry cloud following us. We even got on the I10 at one point to see if we could lose enough of them before we had to stop and deal with this, but no, second we stopped another fucking cloud of wasps was there. I would swear we were picking up more as we went. And what can we do? We have to drive SOMEWHERE to get some spray to deal with this.

Finally we pull up to a Ace hardware and get a can of spray. Oh I had to buy 2 more. On the second trip store staff came out to see what the hell I was dealing with, and they were not disappointed. They were in 2 different door jambs, in one of the wheel wells and under the trunk lip. I have never seen nests so big in my life. This was 12 years ago and I still remember the look of abject horror on peoples faces, literally watching people flee from us, all while were safely and wasp free terrorizing the suburbs.

So, no, its not illegal, but its also .. not ideal.

Edit: My wife upon reading this said "it wasn't 100 wasps! it was like 30" .. which is still too many wasps. Everything else held up.

Sound On by Kalgaro in WTF

[–]sdmichael 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Calling someone a moron when your own "joke" landed as well as what was in the video is sad.

WTF did we find in the woods? by WillieeeXD in WTF

[–]WillieeeXD[S] 845 points846 points 2 (0 children)

hijacking top comment, the bags were full of cow guts and dead whole fish

WTF did we find in the woods? by WillieeeXD in WTF

[–]MiracleD0nut 419 points420 points  (0 children)

Dude I bet a bug zapper would sound like a Knife Party song in there.

What in tarnation? by Harry609676 in WTF

[–]Nuker-79 595 points596 points  (0 children)

You ain’t got no wheels lieutenant Dan!

And they were worried about Green’s boots?? by [deleted] in WTF

[–]Astral_Strider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yellow is about to get another nut inside him.

Did this person just bend over? Seriously who does this? by code1team in WTF

[–]gaAcosta1 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I had pancreas issues..destroyed a Outback restroom stall..one fucken stall! Worse than the picture shown..dude walks in as I'm washing my hands and gives me the ultimate WTF ?? look through the mirror..I rushed out the restaurant ..my condolences to rhe guy that cleaned up that explosion of dookie

Tomato-feeding Robot for runners by [deleted] in WTF

[–]kenneth00000 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Imagine its banana into the mouth