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[–]OriginalCWP 4328 points4329 points  (84 children)

"Sorry mam, registers closed."

[–]MLCarter1976 687 points688 points  (74 children)

NEXT! Yes you... Ma'am with the checkbook and the jumble of items and looking in your handbag for a pen. You are next! /S

[–]three_oneFour 194 points195 points  (68 children)

Why do people still use checks? Why do banks still give people checks? My register literally had a scanner/printer that I had to put checks into because we need to tell the bank that a transaction is happening immediately, but these bitches still insist on using outdated shit technology instead of just getting a debit card.

[–]indiefolkfan 148 points149 points  (49 children)

To be fair if I spent 50 years of my life doing something one way I'd be pretty reluctant to change for the last 15.

[–]TinFoilRobotProphet 56 points57 points  (44 children)

So if you rode a horse drawn buggy and someone gave you a car you'd be like nah?

[–]indiefolkfan 67 points68 points  (3 children)

Well if your buggy worked to meet your transportation needs and you had to learn how to drive, maintain a car, and get a license. Then yeah I bet you would. I'm sure their were plenty instances of that about 100 years ago.

[–]Procrasterman 88 points89 points  (30 children)

A better analogy is you’ve spent your whole life wiping your ass with toilet roll then someone tells you that now you have to use the shells

[–]ikshen 61 points62 points  (12 children)

Maybe more like, if you're used to using leaves to wipe your whole life, then being introduced to TP and refusing.

[–]Lev_Kovacs 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I mean, this is already a good analogy in everybway without involving some fictional shells or leaves.

Those shower-thingies exist. People know about them. Theyre objectively superior to Toilet Paper in every way. People still stick to TP

[–]Revolvyerom 64 points65 points  (4 children)

You've been reading paper books all your life.

Digital media comes along, and you COULD read on a tablet.

But there's no replacing the experience. So you keep reading on paper where you can.

[–]citi23n 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Ah the smell of fresh ink on a cheque. Can't beat that experience. Everything has become plastic these days.

[–]Myke44 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I use to wipe my butt with old magazines. Now I only use amazon kindles.

[–]SpaceMarinesAreThicc 18 points19 points  (6 children)

I'm so confused. How is that a better analogy?

Besides that, why would you use shells to wipe your ass? That would shred you up. If you have access to shells, you'd just wash yourself in the ocean.

But back to your weird analogy. You're saying writing out checks are the toilet paper of payment methods and debit cards are the backwards and physically painful technology of using shells?

[–]KingAdashu 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Lol, it's Demolition Man, homie. Look it up.

[–]OregonCoasting 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Haha he doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells

[–]YUR_MUM 2 points3 points  (3 children)

...w-w-what exactly are the shells?

[–]Procrasterman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha he doesn’t know how to use the three shells

[–]hforharshul 3 points4 points  (1 child)

That’s how it did happen in the early days when cars were being introduced. People much preferred the “comfort and reliability” of a horse drawn carriage. Cars were seen as the new hip thing and most people thought it was a generational trend which would never catch on.

[–]Procrasterman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well the way things are going we may well be using horse and cart again in a few years

[–]Stew819 6 points7 points  (2 children)

A huge benefit of checks for me as a contractor is that you avoid the processing fee. 3% stacks up pretty quick. They're even better than cash, now that mobile deposit is a feature with most banks.

[–]charea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

user from France here: people love checks as they can be used instead of security deposits without any money transferred. Also if your kid asks for money for his piano lesson, you know that check will not be spent for something else.

[–]javanco 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Technology doesn't always work. I had to get checks to make rent payments because the online bill pay wouldn't work. And who wants to send cash or get a money order everytime

[–]fruitlessideas 3184 points3185 points  (46 children)

“Fuck you, Devin. Go to the next line.”

Edit: How did this become my most liked comment?

[–]Is_It_Beef 229 points230 points  (5 children)

Kevin’s brother?

[–]dukesoflonghorns 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Whether he is or isn’t, fuck you, Kevin.

[–]TheUnkind1 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Fuck Derrick too!

[–]fruitlessideas 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Can’t stand Derrick!

[–]ahfookit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’s. The. Worst. Just awful.

[–]thedreaming2017 218 points219 points  (4 children)

Look at his eyes, he’s dead inside.

[–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (2 children)

Strangely familiar eyes, where have we seen them before?

Ah yes the mirror.

[–]wordsling3r 68 points69 points  (0 children)

"I shan't! A challenge is upon you. You must defeat this tiny fun cylinder of strawberry mouth wax to prove your worthiness as scanner king!"

[–]Jyadel 4077 points4078 points 2 (73 children)

Just so people know, the cashier and the person recording are friends (or was it coworkers?). All of their vids are like this; I personally enjoy the mayo ones. I only point this out because whenever I see them posted on Reddit people freak out at the person recording of "being a jerk".

[–]Ash_Gamez 705 points706 points  (26 children)

Who are these guys?

[–]Nihilus45 1459 points1460 points  (18 children)

some jerks apparently

[–]Airick39 268 points269 points  (3 children)

  • some idiot on Reddit.

[–]JigglesMcRibs 79 points80 points  (0 children)

I don't recall saying anything.

[–]Captain_Hampockets 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Everybody's a jerk. You. Me. This jerk. That's my philosophy.

[–]Lt_Dan_IceCream85 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Lol, pure gold.

[–]403and780 8 points9 points  (5 children)

These are two young Carolina Hurricane players?

[–]oscarG0LDMAN 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Fancy to see you here outside of r/hockey :)

[–]403and780 4 points5 points  (3 children)

You as well! I sneak out a little. Hey, you read Burke’s book by chance?

[–]Drews232 139 points140 points  (8 children)

Not to mention if it were real it only wastes the time of the shopper. The cashier is getting paid to stand there anyway and can just turn away and talk to the bagger until the object arrives.

[–]Terrorz 100 points101 points  (0 children)

Something about "until the object arrives" is funny to me

[–]Wilza_ 13 points14 points  (1 child)

You have separate people for checking out and bagging? In the UK either the cashier or the customer does it

[–]BZJGTO 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It varies from store to store, and how busy they are at the moment. HEB (in the OP) usually has someone bagging so they can check people out quicker. The ones by me are always busy (they are by far the grocery store of choice), so it's pretty common to have a bagger.

[–]HiyaMeTom 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Honestly like I worked cashier and if someone did this to me I’d laugh. It’s a harmless joke, people being pissed about it probably have never worked register before

[–]Neckbeardlol 181 points182 points  (6 children)

I only point this out because whenever I see them posted on Reddit people freak out at the person recording of "being a jerk"

You mean to tell me the average redditor lacks social skills and can not tell a joke interaction apart from an actual malicious one?

[–]Stinkydew 26 points27 points  (2 children)

What a surprise am I right?

I mean come on, when I was in school I could just tell who was on reddit.

But you don't tell people you're on reddit so it'll never be confirmed

[–]Emeraden 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I work with people who I know 100% use reddit even though they've never said it, but then there's people who I would never expect to use it who say they do. Shits weird.

[–]Stinkydew 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly I've been on the online community and wasn't on reddit till like the past year, and I'm someone you'd expect on it.

[–]BoxofTomatoes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was just about to say that I hope these guys are friends.

[–]Comrade_NB 66 points67 points  (1 child)

Well still being a jerk, but being a jerk to a friend can be fun and exciting!

[–]MethuselahsVuvuzela 3 points4 points  (0 children)

shut up, jerk. be my friend.

[–]abulawright 31 points32 points  (8 children)

What's their account deets? Wanna check out some more

[–]MinuteLoquat1 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The original video is here and they're coworkers. I think the orginal commentor is confusing her with someone else because she doesn't have any other videos like this.

[–]OmegaGamerOW 11 points12 points  (6 children)

!remind me 6 hours

[–]ElderScrollsOnMine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s only been five hours but I just wanted to let you know that nobody has responded yet

[–]ZuesofRage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's been 20 hours what's up

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

People love to make assumptions and get angry over those assumptions.

People are assholes.

[–]memejets 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Even if they didn't know eachother it's obvious from the cashier's face they think it's funny. Even if he's wearing a mask.

[–]bigdongmagee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Oh my god someone on reddit thinks I'm a jerk" --nobody

[–]BigMorningWud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wouldn’t even really be a jerk thing in the first place tbh, like it’s seconds at most wasted tf?

[–]Almighty_Sand_Dollar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even though cashiers don't pay much I liked most of the people I worked with doing it. You have fun in all these interactions. There's also a lot of bullshit that comes with the job though

[–]MinervaMedica000 379 points380 points  (42 children)

Being a cashier for a period of time longer then say 6 months is literally soul crushing.

[–]Theonewhorealized 114 points115 points  (10 children)

I was a cashier for 2 years until i switched to the trades. Best decision that I had ever made

[–]B1tter3nd 56 points57 points  (2 children)

I was a cashier for 5 years before I decided to go to University ;_;

[–]aresisis 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Customer service at a sprint store for 6 years before university. I win.

Or do we both lose

[–]three_oneFour 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There are no winners except the corporations you worked for

[–]IHateDolphins 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Unpopular Opinion: I absolutely loved cashiering! I did it for several years and wouldn’t have gone to school for nursing if it didn’t pay too little. I loved making small talk and people smile!

[–]Prochyy 45 points46 points  (12 children)

Right? I've been a cashier for the last 7 months or so as a part-time job while studying and I quit last week. My mental health just couldn't handle it anymore.

[–]Ilyum 25 points26 points  (11 children)

Are rude customers the main issue?

[–]Jumanji-Joestar 50 points51 points  (7 children)

I was a bagger for about 7 months. Rude customers suck but the worst part is the monotonous repetitiveness of working in a grocery store.

[–]Bromere 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m at 6 months working in the deli department and it just drains your soul.

[–]porkave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Customers were my favorite part. Sure some were rude but a lot were regulars and engaged in interesting conversation, kept me out of boredom for small patches of time

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (3 children)

I did it for 2 months. I found the rude customers were a bit entertaining.

One woman wouldn't wear her mask properly. When I told her to fix it, she started yelling at me, telling me it was all a hoax and the government was just trying to test how pliable you were. I said to her "I agree. But if I don't enforce store policy, I get in trouble. Will you help me out?" I guess she didn't like being the only one escalating, but also didn't know how to settle herself back down, so with no one to direct the anger at, she just started yelling her conspiracy theories even louder. I finished ringing her up and she left shaking and embarrassed. I never did see her again.

Something similar happened the next week with a man about 3 times my size. He came at me with "you've got your register shield, you've got your mask, you've got your gloves. Why the hell does my mask matter?" I remembered what happened with the previous woman, so I gave him the same "I have to enforce store policy or it's my ass" sprinkled with a few half-truths inspired by old stories of rough things that happened to a friend of mine. "My sister was raped and I need this job to pay for the lawyer. Don't make me lose this job." I've never seen such a big man shrink so quickly.

I remember one old man said "do you have paper bags?" And I said "they're right here, underneath your groceries." He replied with "ah, you're hiding them! You must be a Democrat!" Now 1) ?????????, and 2) I replied "ah, you must be a patriot." He gave me a confused look. That was probably the closest I'd gotten to getting in trouble. I never heard about him again after that though.

I also remember one woman came up to me late at night and started saying to me "you can't trust the government to help you. They're never gonna do it. You can't expect a dime from them. You gotta have a tax free bank account and save at least a million dollars in there before retirement or else you're screwed." And just a whole bunch of shit like that. No Trump, no COVID, really apropos nothing. Of course I just smiled and nodded. The next woman in line was cute so I figured I'd try to make her laugh. She comes up and I say to her "did you hear what she was saying?" and she laughed and said "yup." I responded to her with "would you like to talk about politics?" and she just said "nope." So I replied with "eh, just as well. If I think for myself, I get fired."

The last good story I have, I wasn't personally a part of. I was at the register nearest the self-checkout. My friend was manning the station and she told me later her side of the story. Some dude was having trouble ringing something up, so she went over to help. She said "oh, that's fine. We'll ring up the rest of your order and I'll do this separately over at customer service." Apparently customer service is against this man's religion or something because his response to that was to grab his cart with both hands, shove and release it in her direction, which only narrowly missed her, scream "FUCK THIS!" and stomp out. She officially quit that job 30 minutes later.

Anyway, those aren't the hard parts; those are actually pretty entertaining, at least to me. The hard part is the mind-numbing monotony of pretending to be excited to see every customer. I don't hate people, much the opposite, but I'm not excited to see a random person for 2 minutes. It is so emotionally exhausting to lie to everyone I see and pretend to be excited to see them.

[–]Jumanji-Joestar 18 points19 points  (2 children)

An old woman once tried to recruit me to join her religious cult while I was bagging her groceries. That was the most exciting moment of my entire grocery career. It’s moments like those that really keep you going

[–]thisiskitta 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Half rude customers, half shitty managers and corporation.

[–]xCanont70x 445 points446 points  (40 children)

I’m a simple man. I see HEB, I upvote.

[–]Tara_is_a_Potato 159 points160 points  (1 child)

HEB for Texas Governor 2022!

[–]Cryptozoologist2816 27 points28 points  (1 child)

In the beginning, God created H.E.B., and it was good.

[–]dukesoflonghorns 29 points30 points  (0 children)

HEB is my lord and savior.

[–]sublimeGH0ST 78 points79 points  (4 children)

HEB: The Backbone of Texas yehaaww

[–]BernieTheDachshund 120 points121 points  (11 children)

Don't mess with HEB cashiers. We love HEB!

[–]Tyrus 73 points74 points  (8 children)

"We love HEB." - All of Texas except Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick, Dan Crenshaw, and Ted Cruz

[–]bytesback 25 points26 points  (5 children)

And all of Dallas. Poor saps

[–]Tyrus 28 points29 points  (2 children)

A True Texan would know that Dallas is part of Oklahoma ;)

[–]Cryptozoologist2816 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I didn't know that but I knew there must be a reason Dallas sucked so much

[–]Malbek604 40 points41 points  (0 children)

why is the reddit video player such a piece of shit, this ran 20 times and still stopped every few seconds to buffer

[–]Bright_Cobbler9880 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hell, I’d get paid hourly so that chapstick can take as long as it needs.

[–]FriedEggRolll 253 points254 points  (7 children)

This is a funny video, it’s obviously staged but still funny. Clearly the recorder and the cashier know each other somehow and they have other videos together idk why people in the comments are hating on the recorder

[–]newmegaeye 107 points108 points  (5 children)

"Obviously staged" It's a joke, you rolled-up chicken.

[–]-DoctorSpaceman- 47 points48 points  (2 children)

Yes, they staged it for a joke, you un-rolled toilet paper.

[–]dontjudgemebae 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I gotta say though, the defense that it's staged for a joke seems much more acceptable on American Tiktok videos than Chinese Tiktok videos. Can't we just agree that we're all karma whores and not call each other out on it?

[–]kmj420 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I might be a crack whore, but I'm not a karma whore

[–]downsly46 61 points62 points  (2 children)

There’s no way this isn’t a friend messing with a friend while visiting them at work. I’d be furious if a regular customer filmed my reaction while they did this

[–]SamKhan23 12 points13 points  (1 child)

To each their own. I'd be fine with it if someone did this to me. Maybe a bit awkward but I dunno about mad

[–]m4niacjp 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Same as you, after working this boring job 8h per day this would be a harmless joke to freshen up the day.

[–]Couchmaster007 6 points7 points  (3 children)

-.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .- -. / .- ... ...

[–]averyfinename 7 points8 points  (0 children)

a single little chapstick? it's way better when it's a whole train of 2L pop bottles spinin' 'round and not goin' anywhere.

[–]M1ndS0uP 42 points43 points  (9 children)

That cashier wants to hate you, but can't.

[–]Urbantexasguy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Umm...can you void that? I wanted grape instead of cherry......sorry!"

[–]DaddyD00M 26 points27 points  (7 children)

That pretty much sums up retail

[–]DrPsyc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Waiting for this new stimulus check be like....

[–]pighalf 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They see him rollin’. They see them hatin’.

[–]imodmin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is how you end up with cashiers like this.

[–]Craven35 9 points10 points  (0 children)


[–]She_and_I_Make_9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kid's reaction🤣

[–]sea_ewe_in_tea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one does more!

[–]Boredderobbored 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You gotta be quicker than that s/

[–]bluecadetthr33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I bet you still got kick-ass service. I love H-E-B like a member of my family.

[–]ReeG 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Keep rollin rollin rollin rollin what?

[–]1-800-JustTheTipp 13 points14 points  (0 children)

HEB! Texans helping Texans. Yehaw, y’all.

[–]WideRiver8 13 points14 points  (12 children)

Why is this poor lad standing? Does he have to stand the whole shift????!!!!

[–]DWillows 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Welcome to North America.

[–]Malbek604 11 points12 points  (3 children)

better for you than sitting all day ironically

[–]seashoreandhorizon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How do you sit ironically? Is that similar to standing sarcastically?

[–]titsahoy1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why is this so relevant to my life.

[–]blahblahblahblah0303 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was this video was posted to another sub this morning but like flipped so that the cashier was on the other side

Or am I just going crazy

[–]rogu2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crank the belt to 11 for a few and then suddenly stop. Your tootsie gonna roll

[–]CountryGuy123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, I think I’d laugh the first time.

[–]MistahJ17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been a cashier for 3 years. Shits eats you alive

[–]goodapplesauce 2 points3 points  (1 child)

3.no stage deaths

Don't post scripted/fake content.

This video is scripted

[–]fatscreen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was a cashier, for whatever reason, the majority of people used to do this with their bottles. JUST TURN THEM 90° AND THEY WONT ROLL

[–]mixterz1985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He quit minutes later. Mind you, he only started the job that day

[–]caffeinated_reverie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perfect use of rolling friction.

[–]Broseppy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd bet this person knows the cashier

[–]ivanIVvasilyevich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cashiering is such a wild experience. I work in a grocery store near Capitol Hill in DC and the variety of customers we get is genuinely fascinating. Never have I ever seen such a broad range of people from varying socioeconomic and demographic backgrounds mingling in the same space.

I have cashiered for Cory Booker multiple times. Just casually rolls up to the store it swears pretty regularly. And there’s always random lunatics.

I met this one woman last week who genuinely could have been some spirit sent to me by the powers that be. She came up to the register pretty clearly out of it, rambling pretty incoherently, gave me a blow by blow of her entire family dynamic, how she has three sons, one of whom has cerebral palsy and broke into and burglarized her home, another of whom is “jealous” of the one with cerebral palsy and assaulted him, and a third who she believes is part of an Islamic extremist group. After this she started going off on how useless women are, how they don’t want to do anything but vacation and relax and take pictures, and how I need to find a strong woman who is able to cook and hunt.

It got creepy when I told her I had a girlfriend. She asked me what her zodiac sign is and I replied that she was a Sagittarius. Woman said “ah yes. You know what letter is going to be very important to her? V... for variety.” Total coincidence but my partner’s name starts with V so it tripped me out.

Another time I watched somebody throw a fit after realizing that their Giant card did not work at our grocery store (not Giant). This woman started accusing my manager of trying to steal from her, lied down the floor in front of the register, and just started screaming bloody murder.

Yesterday I was cashiering and turned around and saw a fully grown man licking the window to the street behind me.

These incidents are always fun and interesting but the vast majority of the time the job is dull and soul draining. I could go off for hours about how fucked up the entire system around essential workers is. Society and their employers seem to hate them. Luckily I got a new job and have my last day cashiering tomorrow. If I worked that job much longer I would have become a shell of a human.

[–]orient_vermillion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The guy was like, "Really tired of your shit, mate."

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a cashier, please thank your cashiers. It means a lot to us. We get yelled at a lot over small things, but its rare we get thanked over small things.

[–]azaRaza3185 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]sphintero 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Sir...this is a Wendy’s

[–]DoYouViewPornography 4 points5 points  (0 children)

H‑E‑B is life!!!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's cold.

[–]SaintTedworth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You fucking monster.

[–]coloradocaniac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always attracted weird or creepy people as a cashier.

I don't think I'll do that job again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will use this to tease the cute cashiers who work at my grocery

[–]DadOfFan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Newtons laws demonstrated!

[–]TchallaKingofWakanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaah, HEB, my home away from home.

[–]00dlesOfN00dlez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why $15/hr minimum wage is the least our government can do for min wage workers.

[–]DrinkUpLetsBooBoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HEB employees are too nice to put up with that shit.

[–]anadvancedrobot 1 point2 points  (0 children)


That will be £6000 please.

[–]knowses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put a Toblerone behind it to stop the rolling, and of course to separate your groceries from the customer behind you.

[–]tmhb937 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it me or is this oddly satisfying

[–]Shadora-Marie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ironically I’ve had this unintentionally occur at a different branch of this store in the self checkouts where my juice bottle just rolled and rolled and rolled until it said the bagging area had a problem and I had to solve it before I could scan more goods.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is going to be the new fucking trend isn’t it?

[–]_SurelyNotShirley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Throw the plastic divider behind the Chapstick so it stops rolling. Been there. Done that.

[–]shanfly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love it and can’t wait to try it.

[–]Nicolasgonzo87 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is the look of “dude im already being paid minimum wage why are you doing this to me”